Harold woke up to find Barbara nuzzling him. She felt very warm, especially where her wool was poking out from her nightgown. As cozy as it was, Harold knew he had to get up eventually. He checked the time on his phone and asked, "Barbara?"

"Hmm?"

"Doesn't Wally need to go to school?"

"It's Saturday…right?"

He checked his phone again. "Oh, yeah, Saturday."

"Are you uncomfortable?"

"Not really."

"Then staaaaayyy." Barbara pulled Harold closer. Wow, she was really strong when she needed to be.

He sighed and closed his eyes. He was just about ready to doze off again when Wally burst into the room. The child whined, "Moooom, I'm hungry."

"Get your breakfast, honey," Barbara replied, her eyes still closed. "You're a big boy."

"But it's pancake day!"

"Mmm, pancakes," Harold muttered.

"Alright. If both my boys want pancakes, then I guess I have to oblige." Barbara got up and put on a robe. Harold followed her and put on his pants from the date. Wally followed them both to the kitchen.

The three of them had pancakes for breakfast. Then Harold left, dressed in the outfit he wore on the date last night. He took a bus back to 537 Avian Way. When he came in, Gosalyn heard him and met him at the door.

She greeted him with a "Welcome back. How did the date and uh, sleepover go?"

Harold blushed. "Pretty good. I need to speak to Drake, though."

"Really? What about?"

"I need dating advice," Harold answered.

Drake asked, "From me?"

The two were currently in the living room, sitting in the blue armchairs. They had told Gosalyn and Launchpad not to disturb them. If they needed extra privacy, they could always take the armchairs to Darkwing Tower.

Harold said, "How can you be with someone who doesn't know who you REALLY are?"

"Why are you coming to me for advice? Honestly, Harold, Morgana was the first and last serious relationship I had. She learned of my secret identity through spying on my dreams - long story - but she never used it against me. Plus, I think she always liked 'Darkwing' a little more."

Harold thought for a moment. Then he asked, "Is this why Gosalyn isn't seeing anyone right now?"

"She figured out a secret identity would kill a social life pretty quickly. She tried to date Honker, but they realized they were better as friends. She also figured out anyone she dated would have to have my approval."

"But I'd like to keep a social life. If Barbara and I go further into this relationship… I'll need to be honest with her about everything."

"I know you've been dating her for six months, but do you really trust her?"

"I need to figure that out, or break up with her…" Harold sighed. "I need to figure out how to do that, too."

Harold's trouble started with a phone call the next day. He didn't recognize the number on the caller ID, but he picked it up anyway. He answered with a "Hello?"

"Hello, Harold Webber." He wasn't sure who - or what - the voice on the other end was.

"Who is this?"

"The Fiendish Organization for World Larceny."

Harold nearly dropped the phone. He asked, "How did you get this number?"

"That's not important. What is important is we know who Collateral Ramage is, and we're willing to give you this information."

"Why would I accept information from you?"

F.O.W.L. High Command replied, "Because we could easily level your house."

"You don't know where I live," Harold stated with more confidence than he actually had.

Then High Command played the recording:

"I need dating advice."

"From me?"

"How can you be with someone who doesn't know who you REALLY are?"

"Why are you coming to me for advice? Honestly–"

Harold snapped, "Okay, you've made your point! Tell me who Collateral Ramage is."

"Collateral Ramage is Barbara Horne."

Then they hung up. Harold put the phone down, hands shaking. F.O.W.L. could be lying to rile him up, but what other reason would they have to tell him Barbara Horne was Collateral Ramage? To break off a (seemingly) stable relationship? That felt petty, even for them.

Collateral Ramage was Barbara Horne.

Harold immediately told the Mallard family about the phone call. The four of them went straight to work searching the house for surveillance bugs. Drake tore through the living room, where the recorded conversation had taken place; he took the armchair mechanism apart, pulled up the carpet, and even peeled back the wallpaper. He found no bugs.

Gosalyn contacted S.H.U.S.H. about what happened and gave them the phone number F.O.W.L. used. Somehow, they had found and called Harold from a phone booth. She decided to see how Dad was doing in the living room while Harold and Launchpad searched the rest of the house for bugs.

As she came in, Drake grumbled to her, "How can he be so stupid?! How could he date a supervillain?!"

Gosalyn frowned at him. A certain magical woman from his past immediately came to mind.

"Oh, don't give me that look!"

Sure, Morgana reformed eventually, but Drake remembered being love-struck with her at first sight. That was probably the same thing Harold felt when he first saw Barbara (without the mask, that is.) However, unlike Drake and Morgana's honest love for each other, Barbara had been lying to Harold from the very beginning.

Drake was pulled from his thoughts when Launchpad entered the room. Harold wasn't with him, but LP said, "Harold and I followed your instructions, Drake. We searched the whole place and found nothing."

Drake groaned, rubbing the side of his head. "Maybe the bug was literal: something that could get in and out without Harold or me noticing."

Gosalyn asked, "So where's Harold?"

Launchpad said, "He's up in his room, feeling miserable. I can't say that I blame him."

"I'm gonna go talk to him." Drake went upstairs, leaving Launchpad and Gosalyn to figure out how to put the living room back together.

The door to Harold's room was unlocked, but inside, Drake found it was dark. Harold was on his bed, and almost looked like he was napping. To the left of the bed was a nightstand, where a few tear-stained tissues laid. Drake was never good with emotions (especially his own), but he felt he needed to say something to Harold.

Harold opened his eyes and looked to Drake. He sniffed, "Hey. I heard you come in."

"I wanted to check up on you," Drake replied, "and try to give you some real advice about this. Supervillains are a topic I have plenty of experience with."

"Do you have experience, specifically, with a supervillain being your girlfriend?"

"Not in the same way. Again, Morgana and I knew who we really were early in our relationship. It helped she never had a secret identity in the first place."

"Do you think Barbara knows who I really am?"

"That may be why she's even interested in you." Drake didn't want to make it sound like that was the only reason she was interested in Harold…but everything felt uncertain now.

They both said nothing for a while. Then Harold broke the silence: "I-If I could reach out to her, then maybe I could–!"

"I wouldn't try," Drake told him. "Not all supervillains can be redeemed, as much as we want them to be."

Harold knew Drake had a point. A few of Drake's former rogues' gallery had redeemed themselves or disappeared (only one of the Fearsome Five was still active), but that left a lot unreformed. Over the past several months, Harold had fought the first Darkwing's fiends: Tuskernini; Lilliput and the Bugmaster; and Dr. Slug, to name a few. Of course, there were plenty of new members who had only fought Darkwing Duck 2.0, like Firebird.

If Harold was going to have even more villains to fight than Drake, he might as well get rid of one. He got up, without giving Drake any reply, and left the room. Drake stammered, "Wh-Where are you going?"

"I'll be right back," Harold said with no emotion.

Harold went straight to the living room, where the armchairs had been reassembled. Launchpad and Gosalyn were still there, repairing the rest of the room. Launchpad noticed Harold first. "Harold? What's going on?"

"I'll be right back," he repeated.

Gosalyn stopped him with two questions: "You're going to arrest Barbara, aren't you? What if that's just what F.O.W.L. wants you to do?"

"That…" Harold turned to her. "That's a good point."

She blinked. "Wait, did you just… LISTEN to me? What's this feeling? Acknowledgement?!"

Drake would have given a rebuttal, but he quickly shut his beak when he couldn't think of one.

Launchpad asked, "So what now? You can't give F.O.W.L. what they want, but you can't just let Collateral Ramage go free."

Harold pointed out, "F.O.W.L. has been waiting to give me this information for months. I don't see why we can't make them wait a little bit longer. I just need to find the right time to confront her."

Barbara's trouble started a week after Harold's. He managed to avoid her by saying he was "busy with work" – a statement that wasn't false when your work was cleaning up crime. So this weekend, she decided to hang out with some of her friends.

Like her, some of Barbara's friends had kids. They weren't the only parents going out that day, either. Upon hearing they could be taking care of multiple children, Andy and Ann struck a deal with the parents: they would get paid up front and a little extra afterwards.

Come Sunday afternoon, Ann arrived to pick up Wally. Barbara paid Ann and said goodbye to the teen duck before she left the penthouse. The first thing Wally noticed was Ann had a backpack with her. Wally smiled, because usually, the backpack would be filled with toys. Ann smiled back, showing off her teeth. Wally didn't like when she showed off her teeth; she looked scary.

She said, "Hey, Wally, before we leave, I want to play a game."

"What sort of game?" he asked, waiting for her to pull something from the backpack.

"Hide and seek. You'll hide, I'll seek."

He frowned. "Are you sure we should be playing right now? Aren't Andy and the other kids wa—"

"Just play a game with me for five minutes," she snapped.

Something felt different - this wouldn't be a regular game of hide and seek - but Wally still ran to hide. Ann peeked as she counted. While the child wasn't looking, she took a jump rope out of her backpack and threw it at him. It tied around his body, making it impossible to escape.

"What are you doing?!" Wally screamed. "Just wait until my mom gets home! She'll clobber you!"

Ann laughed. "Oh Wally, you won't be here when your mom gets home. You'll be with our kids, and lots and lots of toys." Then she texted Barbara that she'd picked Wally up.

Ann carried Wally outside, to a stereotypical white van hidden in an alley. The only thing that made it unique was the logo on the side. The logo was of a smiling jester that somehow felt familiar to Wally. Below the logo were the words QUACKERJACK TOYS.