Dearest Mary Letter Eight

9th of June 1919

Dearest Lavinia,

Thank you for your kind letter and confiding in me for your hopes for a baby in the future. This is a difficult subject for a Lady to address. As you have probably discerned from my letters, Tom and I have built a more intimate relationship, then might have been foreseen from our unexpected marriage.

I am trusting you with private information, that is not usual for women of our station to share. But as your friend I felt like I needed to give you this information, hopefully to set your mind at ease. Tom and I had discussed the wish to have children. I am not sure if you realise this, but this April I turned 29 years of age. I was a proper old maid when I was married, so I was concerned that with my age, I might be too old to have a first baby.

My friend Mrs Holden recommended a doctor, here in Dublin. He told me that it was perfectly normal for a woman to take 18 months to become with child, after marriage. He said this was true even for women who were younger than me.

Forgive me this next part is most embarrassing, I can feel my face heating just contemplating my next words. The doctor told me that for best success. Forgive me! That the husband should be vigorously intimate with his wife, as often as possible in the middle of the wife's cycle. The cycle was from first day of menstruation, to the following first day of menstruation. It is up to you how you manage this with Matthew.

Rest assured that each couple experiences are unique. I am sure that there is no need to worry.

As to your other confidences regarding Matthew and his work. Might I suggest that if he is spending time with Papa, learning the ropes at Downton. That you could go with him to Downton and ask my Mama to guide you on the Mistress's duties of a great House? From Mama's letter's I know she is missing having both Sybil and I at home. I even understand that Edith has been spending more time with Aunt Rosamunde lately too.

She is missing having young women around her and I am sure she would welcome your company. You also mentioned the difficulty you were having in confiding in Cousin Isabel. My mother has had several children and sadly some losses too. I am sure she would be a good sympathetic listener for you. If you find the prospect of introducing the subject to my mother too difficult, I can write to her if you like?

And now for some lighter news, though please don't mention it to my family, but I have a job! I had mentioned that I was meeting Miss Button Doran, who was a publisher. Well, we finally met for lunch at Bewley's. It's a darling Cafe, in the French style, just opened on Grafton Street. It is such a vibrant place, beautiful wood finishes. It does delicious lunches, as well as afternoon tea.

It's close to the Publishing House on Dawson Street, it's very popular with writers, Tom goes there to meet his writer friends, talk politics, and drink coffee. Anyway, I met Miss Doran there. She told me that they were having difficulty finding illustrators. Tom had shown her some of my work and she offered me a job.

Tom says that I am a brilliant illustrator, and I should take the job if I want to. So, I accepted, I now work as an Illustrator, and I earn £18 per month. I have never earned my own money before. Tom opened a bank account for me, where I can save my own money. It is all very exciting.

I start work at 9am and finish at 5pm, with an hour lunch break. It is a bustling office, I work in a large bright room, with three other illustrators, with drawing tables. I am giving a précis of the image I must draw from the author or editor. I have never felt so independent before.

I was very nervous about working. There are women who work as secretaries and typists, but nearly all professional rolls are held by men. I did have a slight moment of embarrassment. One of the sub-editors says, 'Tea'. I said, 'Yes please, just some milk please'. He looked quite annoyed, he told me he wanted tea, and I was to go and get it for him. I must have turned the brightest red anyone had ever seen. I then had to admit that I didn't know how to make tea. He shouted at me!

Mabel, a lovely girl who works as a secretary took me away and showed me how to make the tea. I will admit my hands were shaking. Mabel told me there is usually a char lady who comes through the office every couple of hours with a tea trolley. But the women in the office usually make the editors tea if they ask. The exception is Miss Doran, who apparently threw a teacup at the last man who asked her to make one.

Apart from that experience, everything is going well, and I am getting on well with the other illustrators who have been very kind, showing me where all the Art supplies are stored.

I haven't told my family about work. I am afraid they won't understand. I fear that they would blame Tom, for 'forcing me to work'. This is not true at all. We discuss all things together. Tom has very strong views on Women's Suffrage, and he thinks that I should have agency over my own life.

On a completely different note, I have finally been riding with Tom. Obviously, he is completely self-taught. He learnt to ride bareback! He does have good instincts and won't take long to improve his seat and handling of the horse. He is riding this large gentle mare, called Daisy. She's beautiful, with such a soft velvety nose. I think she is in love, as even if Tom is not riding her, she wants to come up to him for a pet and a treat.

Last Sunday, he joined me on my outing with the riding club. He is such a personable man that he was soon chatting away to the other riders. Mrs Holding says he is 'Darling'. He acquitted himself well, even though he was not the best rider in the group.

Tom has arranged for us to go to Bray next weekend, I will let you know what the town is like. I haven't been to the sea in ages, and we are looking forward to our trip. We will be staying at a hotel near the beach. I have one of those new bathing suits and if it is warm enough, I will try sea bathing. Tom says he will go swimming no matter the weather.

Please keep me informed of the goings on at Downton. I hope you and Matthew can resolve your issues.

Love

Mary