I grew up hearing the stories about magicians, how they were capable of impossible feats, how they could manipulate reality to make their wishes come true, they were the stories I heard before I went to sleep the same stories my mother told me while she put me to sleep.
Lucky for me I had been born in a cradle of gold, magic would be a blood right for me, my eyes sparkled as my grandfather showed me his magical abilities, but it didn't last long.
"Huh... Another glitch... Our blood really is dead." It was with these words that the person I most admired simply shattered my dreams, I just hadn't been chosen.
I worked so hard, read so much, sweated so hard, but in the end it was never about effort in the end I just didn't have the ability that I worked so hard to improve.
At that moment I was overcome by such great hatred...
I wanted to blame everybody, I blamed my father for being weak, I blamed my mother for being incapable, I blamed the responsibility that belonged to chance on all the people who cared most about me.
I let myself be consumed by my darkest feelings, and at the most important moment, when I lost the only person who truly loved me, I couldn't bring myself to cry.
My mother was at home in her bed, she was getting weaker every day and in her final moment she hugged me and told me.
"I'm sorry, I couldn't give you the body you deserved."
I wasn't sad, I wasn't happy to tell you the truth, I couldn't understand my own feelings, I was out of action and I couldn't return her hug.
It took me a long time to finally understand... There are things that are not worth the effort, they cost much more than the benefit they bring, I only came to understand this after the fourth Holy Grail War.
I was there when I saw my Uncle ask my grandfather to help him participate, unlike me he still had some talent, from what I could understand by gathering the information he had some kind of relationship with the matriarch of the Tohsaka family.
He entered the war to try to return my adoptive sister to her family, he was consumed by the servant himself and the modifications that the patriarch put on his body.
I would still see up close the consequences and the modifications to the body that Matou's magic demanded of its users, the rotting of the body, the sordid sacrifices required.
But at that moment I still had a certain arrogance, I declared myself the successor of the Matou family, the eldest brother, the one who would guide the Matou's in the near future.
The old man liked that, it seemed that he took some kind of pleasure in humiliating me or wanted to make me part of the torture that he would put that girl a little younger than me, he humiliated me by saying the obvious that the successor of the Matou's would be Sakura not me...
It's interesting how the old man made me a clown and yet I was crazy to have his approval, I spent a good part of my childhood trying to get his attention while he treated me worse and worse, but finally I manage to free myself from that I saw with my own eyes I was a witness... not an accomplice to everything that happened to my adoptive sister.
He threw her in a basement full of maggots and would throw her daily and put me to watch that to make sure she wouldn't run away, I was part of those crimes as an observer, I wasn't able to stop him, I was unable to even be a good big brother, because of the shame I felt.
I gave up magic the first time I saw that barbaric training and after a few days of being complicit in it I was under the stairs of the basement still full of worms I looked at them and my conscience forced me to take the next steps, maybe if I fell there and turned into food for those worms I could be forgiven.
I had abandoned everything to achieve the goal of becoming a Magus, I had abandoned my mother, my father, my happiness and even the little dignity I had and now I was convinced that none of it was worth it.
I took a step towards oblivion and now I was already crossing the point of no return, but at that moment my adoptive sister got up from the worm pit and started walking towards the door, she was still covered by them and just looked at me expressionlessly.
Above me, Uncle Kariya opened the door and walked towards Sakura, not caring about me.
"Sakura, I've come to save you...!" His body was rotting and he seemed to be out of his mind, I admit I was a little afraid he tried to grab Sakura's arm, but she just retracted the arm, it was enough for him to trip and his body fall lifeless towards the worms.
I tried to hold back my urge to vomit and when I looked at Sakura, her expression was still expressionless, she simply said.
"What a foolish man... And as if nothing had happened, she walked past me and closed the door.
The girl's expressionlessness reminded me of how she had arrived, before all that she was so human, so expressive, but now she seemed lost, expressionless, the innocent girl had disappeared and given way to someone cold and cruel.
What about me? Well, I gave up magic, focused my time on something more useful, on skills that I could really improve, technology, engineering, other kinds of miracles that were possible using science, whose barrier to entry didn't demand so much from my body, it just required an abnormal will in the search for knowledge.
I turned over a sponge and soaked up all kinds of knowledge that came my way and without noticing the years went by and I could see that something had changed in my adoptive sister, she seemed happier, I could see that sometimes she let out a smile while we drank coffee.
At first it surprised me not because of her, but because of the old man, he always made a point of leaving her hopeless, he was always sadistic and did everything for her to suffer as now he decided to give her some kind of happiness, he decides to look more closely.
Apparently it had something to do with school, I had no way of knowing since I had given up on attending classes a few years ago.
It wasn't difficult to go back, I just had to take a test to see if I had the ability to attend the second year and in a few days I was already enrolled in the first year Class C, Homurahara after I was enrolled I understood, she was relating to the student in my class, Shirou Emiya, by name is the descendant of one of the wizards participating in the previous holy grail war.
Now it made some sense the old man was using the Sakura to spy on the independent mage, perhaps intending to use him as an ally in the next holy grail war.
And to my surprise, the school housed another surprise: the descendant of the Tohsakas, and current head of the city, also studied there in the same year as me, but in different classrooms.
I watched the two of them for some time, the boy seemed well-meaning and very sloppy, he seemed determined to help all the people he met along the way, maybe my sister is just one of those people he is helping.
I say he's sloppy because he tends to use magic for his miraculous repairs, he must think he hides a lot more if even I can see that there's something wrong with his repairs.
I wonder why she doesn't act against him...
As time went by and the relationship between Sakura and Shirou intensified, my sister regained the sparkle in her eyes and for a moment I could see my mother in her.
And then I realized if I could protect that smile, if I could somehow help her maybe I could pay off my debts to my mother, to Sakura.
Maybe I could get forgiveness for all my mistakes.
But even if I wanted to, how could I?
What does a mediocre person need to do to outsmart a genius?
That's always been my biggest question.
On my side I only have the arrogance of my opponent who deliberately gave me access to his great library, that mummy was amused by my futile effort of trying to apply what he read in the library knowing full well that I could never learn anything.
But even if I can't reproduce the knowledge, I know the essence and gained a great understanding of how that mummy managed to stay alive for so long, about the idiosyncrasies of the ritual and even being able to understand how absurd my adoptive sister's situation was.
Sakura Matou had received a fragment of the grail and Zouken planned to create what he called the "Grail of the Zoukens" in a few years, the mummy planned to sacrifice Sakura in the sixth holy grail war, but even knowing all this it was still impossible for me to do anything against him.
I needed allies, I needed capable mages by my side to stand up to Zouken, but the older sister and the one in charge of the city would never consider me an ally, all my attempts to contact her resulted in absurd failures, she despises the Matous, I can't blame her.
The only other wizard I know is Emiya but he probably won't be useful, he's careless and tends to use his magic for small fixes and other favors he does for others, I have no doubt he would help but for now he doesn't add value on the board.
There are other individuals who pique some interest in me, especially in the city church, which seems to possess an abnormal amount of Prana, and as far as I know about the fourth war, one of the survivors is still there.
Kirei Kotomine, as far as I know, is an executioner of the Holy Church and acted as one of the mediators of the fourth war until he became one of the participants.
At the moment the best chance I have to beat the Zouken would be to turn the fifth war into a hell bigger than the fourth in the hope of exposing the magic to the whole world, but that doesn't totally guarantee the death of the Zouken and much less the happiness of Sakura if I am going to resort to this I need to plan a lot more.
What's leaving me out of options...
"I want to participate in the Holy Grail War, I want to show you that I can be useful to the family by giving the Grail to you!" I kneel in front of him and beg for his approval.
The mummy laughs.
"Shinji, only you make me laugh like this... I thought you'd given up on being a Magus, are you so desperate to prove your worth that you want to throw your life away in this conflict?" I didn't mind his irony.
"I would never give up on this dream, grandpa, after all, my biggest dream was to be useful to our family," he continued laughing, but that makes things easier, I need to somehow get my hands on a servant, and the only way I can do that is with his help.
"Well Shinji will have his chance, take your sister to the basement, I'll be waiting for you two there" And so he dematerialized from in front of me, in his place the insect worms came out from all sides.
Now I needed to go upstairs to her room to break the news, I was the user as well as my grandfather to try to achieve my goals, lost in my thoughts I almost didn't notice when I was already in front of her room, I knocked on the door and waited for her to open the door.
The door opened and she was combing her long hair, she looked ready for bed and was surprised by my presence... How many years had it been since we interacted four, five? Maybe more I couldn't say.
"Grandpa asked you to come with me to the basement" Her initial curiosity turned for a moment to fear, but as quickly as fear came it was replaced by expressionlessness.
"Of course, Nii-sama," And with those words, she just dropped the brush on the floor, and with her nightclothes followed me towards the basement.
The sight surprised me positively, this time there was not that sea of worms as usual, one or the other could still be seen, but there were few of them and a red summoning circle was scattered in the middle of the hall and the old man was already waiting for us.
We went downstairs as normal and soon we were on the opposite side of the circle from him.
"Sakura, take off your clothes and come over here," the old man said.
"Of course, Grandpa," she replied.
I was surprised but I hid it as best I could and avoided looking away, I can't show any kind of weakness right now, for this to work the old man needs to believe in my intentions, I need to be as indifferent as possible I need to convince him that I'm telling the truth and to do that I need to convince myself too, So for now I'll be whatever it takes.
She simply did what was asked in a single movement she strips off her clothes, her body is shapely and her skin looks light as silk, but I can't have any natural thoughts when I see her body, she is devoid of feelings it's almost like seeing a mannequin or a doll.
Zouken offered her a kitchen knife and said.
"Cut your right wrist horizontally and spill the blood under the circle, that should be enough" Without even questioning it, she does it and as the blood begins to drip under the circle, the red becomes lighter and after a few seconds an almost blinding glow took over the basement.
The next moment the servant appeared before me, a tall woman with long purple hair and a blindfold over her eyes, her clothes were very tight to her body, a strapless black dress with purple details on the upper edge, ending in the middle of her thighs, she wore long black gloves that went up to her shoulders and wore black boots that covered up to the other half of her thighs.
She was a little taller than me, and her physical and magical abilities, even to someone with unfit eyes, could see the obvious: it wasn't human.
The Servant turned towards Sakura and asked her.
"Servant Rider, I have come to answer your call, are you my master?" Before Sakura could answer, I intervened.
"Don't... she's just your prana carrier, I'm your true master" She didn't turn towards me and stayed focused on Sakura's figure, she seemed to be waiting for a confirmation.
"He's right, Rider, during this war, you must follow Nii-sama's commands," Still expressionless, Sakura simply confirmed what I said.
"If that's your wish, master, so it will be" The woman tilted her head a little towards Sakura as a sign of respect and finally turned and walked towards me.
"I'm under your commands, master" She didn't show the same respect to me, I didn't care.
"There's Shinji, your wish is fulfilled, I hope you don't disappoint me, you're dismissed!" And once again he dematerialized.
As soon as he disappeared, Rider took Sakura's nightwear and gave it to her, Sakura didn't thank her, she got dressed and ignored the existence of the two of us.
I looked toward Rider and said.
"We'll need to introduce you to the city."