Chapter 25: Seriously Comical
Saturday evening… Brock was freshening himself up for his date with Irma. "Someone's looking prepared for destiny," Leonardo joked.
"Hey, it might be destiny I can accept," Brock advised as Donatello worked on a device near the TV with Raphael and Michelangelo watching. "At least you'll have fun networking the channels."
"I'm sure there's something for everyone down here," Leonardo hoped as Donatello reached into a box under a satellite dish.
"Just one final adjustment and…" he muttered before he twisted something inside. "112 channels to choose from!" He turned the TV on where there was an orange-haired in a lab coat messing with beakers.
"We have reception!" awed Ash.
"And it looks like in time for my favorite show: 'Lifestyles of the Brilliant and Scholarly'," Donatello noticed.
"Like we're watching something like that," Raphael nagged.
"There's the movie: Banana Slug that Slimed Detroit that's starting," Michelangelo suggested.
"And miss the kickboxing tournament?" gasped Leonardo. Ignoring the commotion, Ash confronted Brock.
"Anyway, I hope you have fun with your date with Irma," Ash wished. "Maybe give me advice about it when you get back?"
"Sure, I'm happy to offer some!" accepted Brock. The two bumped fists. "See ya!" He left for the surface while Leonardo, Michelangelo and Donatello left as well. Ash came to the couch where Raphael had the remote and a straw in his hand.
"What happened?" asked Ash.
"We drew straws and the shortest got the TV," Raphael briefed. "So, I'm tuning in to the Laugh Channel while the others are going out for pizza." Ash wondered to Raphael's choice while Pikachu hopped onto back.
"The Laugh Channel?"
"Yeah, and that there's a live show from the House of Ha-Ha." Turning on the TV, there was a white-haired man wearing a lavender business suit and a blue bow-tie standing in front of a curtain with glittering stars.
"Speaking of girls." the man started. "I once dated a girl who had a strange growth on her neck." Raphael sensed what the man wanted to say.
"It was her head!" he replied in unison with the man on TV. There was a bit of laughter from the TV but Ash shook his head.
("I don't get it,") Pikachu softly squeaked. The man had more.
"That's not all," he voiced to the audience. "She sprayed so much mousse in her hair…" Once again, Raphael sensed the punchline.
"She grew antlers!" he answered with the man before falling onto Ash, his head in the latter's lap.
"I'm lost," Ash admitted. Laughing a little easier, Raphael sat back up.
"Okay, the joke involves homonyms," he started. "The first 'mousse' is a hair product before he brought up another 'moose' which is an animal with huge antlers." Ash and Pikachu's eyes lit up to the clarification.
"Oh, okay!" figured Ash. "I haven't seen a moose, let alone one as a Pokémon." They watched the comedian continue.
"Speaking of my girlfriend," he resumed. "The other day she-" Suddenly, a flash on the screen.
"Now what!?" gasped Raphael. The screen showed the stage, but no comedian. "Where did he go!?" Boos rained from the set. That's when a balding man in a green blazer and red tie hopped onto the stage. He straightened out his red square glasses.
"That Joey, huh?" he tried to ease the crowd. "Always leaves them wanting more." Raphael, Ash and Pikachu didn't think it was that obvious.
"That was weird," Ash studied.
"Tell me about it," Raphael agreed. "No comic quits in the middle of their joke, not even a bad one." The Turtle Comm sounded where Raphael got the device. April appeared.
"Raphael, I got a report that something strange is going on at the House of Ha-Ha," she relayed. "It seems comedians are vanishing in the middle of their acts."
"We just saw it happen," Ash pointed out.
"Luckily, the club's just a few blocks from the Lair," April informed.
"We'll check it out," Ash promised. The three risen from the couch.
"Alright, Ash…" started Raphael. "We got a tonfa work ahead of us!" He started off while Ash and Pikachu stood for a second, not thinking about Raphael's pun.
"We need to learn more from him about comedy," Ash admitted. They followed Raphael down the sewers.
"Being a comic is more work than you think, and it starts with a sense of humor," he started. "Pete and I could teach you about it."
("The cameraman?") wondered Pikachu. Then, there was laughter heard.
"Sounds like we may be under the House itself," Ash listened.
"Let's get up there and see," Raphael suggested. They climbed up a ladder before moving the manhole cover. "A-HA! It's the Ha-Ha!" A couple more barriers later, they arrived at a club.
"So, this is the House of Ha-Ha," Ash viewed.
"Hey, you in the green suit!" a grown brunette man in a sky-blue shirt shouted to Raphael. He and Ash looked back at the brunette. "Where's that pizza I ordered!?" Raphael seemed to sneer and slug Ash on the arm.
"Watch," he whispered. He lifted the manhole cover before bringing it to the brunette's table. He reached and dropped the cover on the table, smashing it. The man was aghast at Raphael's antic. "Well, you said heavy on the anchovies." The man looked defeated while Ash tried to stifle a laugh. A minute later, Raphael, Ash and Pikachu reached backstage. "We can watch what's going on from here without notice." However, a moderately tanned man brunette man in a blue/orange striped shirt found the group.
"Are you here for tryouts?" he asked. Raphael gasped before reaching a nearby plot.
"I'm just a stagehand!" he irked before grabbig the plot and entering the stage. Ash stood up to him.
"We're investigating Joey's disappearance," he replied. The tanned man held his hands up to his chest.
"That's not my place," he refused to help before retreating. On stage was a brunette stout man wearing a lavender flannel shirt over gold necklaces and a purple shirt with dress pants doing its best to hold the man's girth.
"Now here's a man who looks like he's going places!" he pointed to another brunette in a blue suit. "And the sooner, the better!" The crowd laughed to the ridicule of the brunette in the suit. Ash and Pikachu sneaked around to an open table. The comedian spotted his next victim. "Lady, I never forget a face." He pointed to a brunette woman in glasses. "But in your case, I'll make an exception." The crowd ate up the insult while Raphael mulled to the comedian's joke. The woman looked upset.
"This guy is the pits," Raphael groaned. "Even I could do better than that!" The comedian found one more victim to go after.
"I bet when your parents had you, they sure hit the 'jerkpot'!" he snickered. The crowd laughed before the lights blacked out. A few seconds later, they came back, but the comedian was gone.
"Not again!" gasped Ash. The vanishing act upset the crowd where they began to boo. The balding man began to panic backstage, trying to save face.
"First, Joey…" he started with sweat running down his face. "And now, Shecky." The crowd began to grow restless.
"Something funny's going on in the House of Ha-Ha." Realizing when he said, he smacked himself in the face. "I think Raphael's jokes are rubbing off of me." Speaking of Raphael, he tripped over the plot he used to hide behind. The balding man sprinted across the stage to confront Raphael, hoping to save the night. "Raphael, why?" The balding man literally threw Raphael onto the stage.
"Ladies and gentlemen, I do apologize for the earlier comics just departing in their acts," he started. "But I, Mr. Bigelow, have saved the best for last. Sure he's new to the comedy game… In fact, you could say he's totally green." The crowd ate it with laughs, but Ash and Pikachu didn't crack a smile. Raphael's time in the spotlight began but not before Bigelow whispered something to the Turtle and pushing him over the stage. Raphael seemed okay.
"Oh boy…" he muttered. "Looks like I was saved by the shell." The crowd laughed to the tease. Ash and Pikachu looked incredibly confused. Raphael ascended the stage to see the crowd. "I, uh… I just celebrated my birthday. I was born under the sign of Aquarium." That time, Ash and Pikachu giggled while others laughed.
"Okay, I got that one," Ash smiled. Back at the Lair, the other Turtles returned.
"We should've brought Ash along with us," Donatello admitted. "It's Raphael who would've missed out alone."
"Yeah, they missed out on some stupenduloso pizza," Michelangelo shrugged before eating the slice of pizza. That's when they couldn't find anyone.
"Where did they go?" wondered Leonardo. Donatello heard the TV and found the remote.
"The courteous thing they could've done is turn the TV off," he nagged. "You know, save electricity…" Before he could press the power button…
"Hey, you know what has a hard shell, green skin and purple feet?" asked Raphael. The other Turtles turned to see their brother onstage. "A turtle who makes his own grape juice!" The audience laughed to Raphael's joke. The brothers couldn't believe what they're watching.
"Raphael?" gawked Leonardo.
"Doing stand-up?" continued Donatello.
"At a comedy club?" added Michelangelo.
"I DON'T BELIEVE IT!" they shouted in shock in unison. At Channel 6, April, Vernon and Pete watched Raphael's comic routine.
"Okay, you know what you get when you cross a turtles with a gorilla?" he asked. "I don't know either… but you'd better stay clear of it!" April and Pete laughed along with the audience.
"I had no clue that Raphael's so good!" she chuckled.
"Oh, he's good alright," Vernon agreed… somewhat. "Good at making a fool of himself."
"Hey, some comedians do that in their shows," Pete pointed out. "Let me try." He cleared his throat before standing up. "Back when I was growing up, people came by my home about wild horses roaming around. My dad said, 'Don't worry, they're just my neighbors.'"April had another laugh to Pete's joke.
"Okay, that was good," Vernon pointed. "But I can make people laugh as well." He leaned his chair back so far, the wheels flew out from underneath him as he fell backwards, hitting the ground back first. Pete shook his snickering face while April giggled some more.
"You sure can, Vernon!" she teased. Back at the House of Ha-Ha, Raphael's show got better.
"Bear with me, folks," he started as he 'clasped' his neck. "I have a frog in my throat, and I'm afraid I might croak!" Ash was about to fall over in laughter when Pikachu saw a man in a black suit and fedora hat.
("Ash, trouble!") he whispered. Ash turned to Pikachu before seeing the door close. With the audience focusing on Raphael, Ash and Pikachu sneaked around to reach the door and listen in, their ears on the door.
"Please, Mr. McFingers," someone pleaded. "You gotta stop taking my comics! It's ruining my business!"
"That's not my problem," another voice scoffed.
"Be reasonable! If you wanted comedians, call their agents!"
"Are you suggesting or forcing me?"
"I'm begging! Please!" Ash and Pikachu heard the groveling and knew someone was running afoul.
"Sounds like the comedians disappearing is more intentional than we thought," Ash whispered.
("But why?") wondered Pikachu. They turned to Raphael, blissfully unaware of the real trouble.
"But I just want to say," he started before the lights cut out again. There sounded a struggle. When the lights came back on, Raphael vanished. The crowd gasped, as did Ash and Pikachu.
"Oh no!" gasped Ash. "Raphael!" In the Lair, the other Turtles were stunned with Raphael's disappearance.
"What happened to Raphael!?" asked Donatello/
"I don't know, dude!" shrugged Michelangelo.
"He was in the middle of a joke when the lights went out!" replayed Leonardo. "We need to know if Ash is there and if he saw anything!"
"How!?" questioned Michelangelo. "I don't think they allow little dudes in places like that!" Right now, Ash and Pikachu have work to figure out why the comedians vanished, along with Raphael.
TO BE CONTINUED...