"Alew"

"Chapter Two: Margate"

Sirius sat on one of the infirmary beds with Harry across from him. A house-elf had brought them breakfast. McGonagall had brought nappies and a change of clothes for Harry. Hagrid had gifted Harry a collection of dragon figurines. While Sirius choose the Antipodean Opaleye, Harry had opted for Hungarian Horntail. Harry let out odd screeches and growls as he played, leaving Sirius clueless on what exactly he was supposed to do with his own dragon. Harry lifted his dragon high in the air before swooping down with a force that had Sirius dropping his dragon to avoid his fingers being smashed.

Marlene had left Hogwarts a good hour prior to stop by their cottage to grab their clothes and other essentials to take over to the new flat. Sirius kept glancing at the watch, anxiously awaiting her return. He hated letting her go there herself, but they both knew that Harry was more important. One of them had to remain with the kid at all times. Sirius needed to be the one to stay with Harry.

Marlene returned by lunch time, greeting Harry with a kiss and a brand-new set of Magpie Quidditch player figurines. Marlene had bought them a few weeks ago as part of Harry's Christmas gift from them. They had gone slightly overboard last Christmas, buying him toys for nearly two months that he was too little to even play with. They had somehow been reigned in for his birthday, only gifting him a ridiculously expensive toddler broom and Arrows jersey that drove James up the wall. The latter being a joke from Marlene.

Sirius had never particularly been interested in Quidditch. He could take it or leave it. But James had lived and breathed the sport. For years, Sirius had pretended to take an interest because it meant something to James. When Harry started listening to the Magpie games on the wireless with James, jumping and cheering with an impressive amount of enthusiasm for someone so tiny, Sirius had only laughed and decided Harry would be just as avid as a fan. Sirius knew he wasn't escaping the Quidditch mania anytime soon. Oddly, he was all right with that.

By late afternoon, the flat in Margate was safe and secure. They took the Floo in Dumbledore's office to the flat, a secure connection that Dumbledore set up through Hestia Jones in the Transportation Department. While Harry didn't enjoy the Floo, he seemed to tolerate it a lot better than Apparating. The preservation charms on the flat had kept the place nice and clean. No one would have guessed that the flat had sat abandoned for the past six months or so.

Marlene went to hang up their clothes and put things away while Sirius took Harry to clean up in the bath. Harry seemed hesitant in his new surroundings, whining every time Sirius tried to put him down. The walls of Godric's Hollow had been all Harry had known his entire life. Now, within twenty-four hours, he had been in two strange places without his parents.

Once in the tub, Harry played with two of his new dragons since there weren't any other toys for him to play with yet. Remus hadn't brought Harry's things from Godric's Hollow, because Sirius hadn't heard from him and there was nothing waiting for them at the flat. Honestly, Sirius didn't know how he was even going to face Remus. They had been at each other's throats for months, both making horrible accusations and spewing nasty words at one another. In less than a year, they had effectively ruined their friendship.

Sirius hauled the bloody t-shirt over his head before making his way to the sink. He watched Harry play in the mirror for a few moments before he washed his face, neck, and hands to rid himself of Harry's blood completely.

"See-See," Harry's little voice rang.

Sirius turned around, a tight smile crossing his face. Harry babbled, holding out a dragon to him. He knelt down in front of the tub, accepting the dragon. Sirius wasn't used to this type of imaginative play. Sure, he has accepted odd combinations of food from Harry's kitchen set and pretended to eat it. He had even helped him build block towers. But Sirius had never played played by using his imagination and such. That had always been James' thing with Harry, creating storylines and making sound effects. Sirius didn't know how to play like that. But he tried. He really did try.

A knock sounded at the front door. Sirius bathed Harry quickly, his hair taking far too much time to rinse out all the soap. He could hear Marlene's and Remus' voices echo in the flat. Hauling Harry out of the tub, he wrapped the kid in a fluffy towel. He carried his godson into the room that had been designated as Harry's. Sirius noted a box on the floor and realized it must have been things that Remus had brought by.

"Come on, kid, lay down," Sirius instructed as he laid Harry down on the big bed that he knew they'd have to get rid of. "Let's get a nappy on, yeah?"

Sirius had become a professional at changing Harry and wrangling his limbs into clothes. Most days, Harry was playful and squirmy. Today, he sat still and allowed Sirius to get him ready with ease. Pressing a kiss onto Harry's forehead, he picked him up and settled him on his hip before making his way to the parlor.

Marlene and Remus sat together on the sofa with steaming cups of tea and sorrowful voices. Archibald slinked underneath the coffee table. Honestly, Sirius had forgotten all about Lily's bloody cat. His eyes glanced around for James' owl as well but didn't see him anywhere. Stepping deeper into the room, Harry stiffened when he caught sight of Remus, his grip tightening around Sirius' neck just slightly. All Sirius could do was to rub the kid's back to try to comfort him.

"Sirius," Remus greeted, his eyes resting on Harry.

Sirius nodded in Remus' direction as he took a seat in the big armchair, shifting Harry so the kid could sit comfortably on his lap. Harry snuggled into Sirius with the toy dragons clutched in his hands.

"Dumbledore explained everything to me," Remus commented, his palms rubbing against his trousers. "I think we were both morons the past several months. I'm sorry, Sirius. Truly, I am."

Sirius nodded, a lump congealing in the back of his throat. "Me too. I'm sorry I thought the worst about you."

"Did James believe I was the spy too?" Remus asked in a tight voice.

At the mention of James, Harry perked up in Sirius' lap. He looked around the parlor.

"Dada?" Harry called.

Knives sliced at Sirius' heart as he wrapped his arms around Harry and tried to pull the kid close to his chest once more. Harry whimpered and squirmed in his arms, calling out for his dad again. Sirius hadn't the faintest clue on what he was even supposed to say to Harry. Could a child that young even comprehend what dead meant? How long would it be until he understood that his parents weren't coming back? Ever.

"No," Sirius replied, rubbing Harry's arm to try to soothe him. "Not even for a moment."

Remus' attention settled on a quietly sobbing Harry. "Why did you think I was the spy?"

Sirius licked his bottom lip, his hand pressing against Harry's cheek and brushing the kid's tears away with his thumb. "You were always gone. You rarely came around. You seemed completely disinterested in Harry."

Marlene rose from the sofa, making her way over towards Sirius. She bent down, her hands sliding underneath Harry's armpits. Sirius let the kid go. Harry melted against Marlene's chest as he whimpered her name. Marlene only spoke soft comforting words to him as they disappeared into the kitchen.

"I was undercover in the werewolf packs, Sirius," Remus explained. "You knew that!"

Sirius raked a hand through his greasy hair. Merlin, he needed a fucking shower. "You acted like you couldn't be bothered. We went weeks without even hearing from you. Harry never even knew you well enough to recognize you!"

Remus huffed. "Well, there really was no growing close to Harry when you were the one always with him."

Sirius raised his eyebrows. "Oh, so me spending time with my godson hindered you from giving a damn about him?"

"That's not what I said!" Remus protested, his head shaking. "Merlin, Sirius, you twist everything into an argument!"

Sirius sneered. "Right. Yeah, that's what I do."

Remus sighed. "Look, I was deeply entrenched into some pretty awful wolf packs, all right? I knew James was being targeted and didn't want to lead the packs to him in case they were following me. So, I stayed away more often than not."

Sirius sucked in a breath. They had told no one about the prophecy. None of their friends even knew until James asked Peter to be Secret Keeper. The cover story had been that James was the targeted one, that it was his life in danger and not Harry's.

Rubbing his fingers against his mouth, Sirius made a decision. "It wasn't James."

"What?" Remus asked, his brows knitting together. "What do you mean?"

"Voldemort wasn't after James," Sirius elaborated. "He was after Harry. That's why I always hogged Harry whenever any of you were around. I was scared, because James and Lily trusted all of you and I thought that was downright fucking stupid because we knew there was a spy amongst us. So, I stuck close to Harry. I protected him because I didn't know who the spy was."

Remus blinked. "Why would Voldemort be after a child?"

"There's a prophecy about Voldemort and Harry," Sirius said in a soft tone. "Don't ask me what it says, because I'm not telling you. But it was Harry's life that was threatened. I, I, I was so scared. I saw spies everywhere. I didn't trust anyone. While James grew depressed, I grew paranoid."

Remus crossed his arms over his chest. "Who all knew?"

"Just James, Lily, Marly, and me," Sirius replied, his eyes searching Remus' hurt face. "When James asked Peter to become Secret Keeper, he told him that it was Harry he was protecting but he didn't give any specifics. Mary and Dorcas didn't know anything."

"You're telling me this now because…?" Remus trailed off.

"Because you deserve to know what James and Lily died for," Sirius said, the corners of his lips twitching down. "You deserve to know why Marly and I may have to disappear or go into hiding ourselves one day. Because someone who knows Harry should know his life is in danger in case something happens to Marly and me."

Remus only stared at Sirius. The distance between them didn't close. There was still a huge gaping hole waiting to gobble them whole. Sirius never understood why it was always so hard to connect with Remus in a way it never was with James. Maybe it was just Sirius. He often found himself struggling to make connections with people.

Remus cleared his throat. "I didn't know Marlene was pregnant."

Sirius shrugged. "We only told James and Lily," he admitted. "I didn't want it getting back to my insane family, so we just… kept it quiet."

"She said she was due in April," Remus continued, obviously trying to make small talk.

Sirius fucking hated small talk. "Yeah, yeah, she is. We don't know what it is yet. We have a couple more weeks until we can find out."

Remus nodded as he leaned back into the sofa. "A couple of years ago, I would have been shocked to find out you were going to be a father. But you're good with Harry, so it makes sense you'd want kids now."

"I think I'm good with two," Sirius admitted. "Harry and the baby will be less than two years apart. Regulus and I were just under two years apart. We fought a lot, so the age gap makes me nervous."

"I'm sure it will be fine," Remus assured. "Better parenting might help."

Sirius didn't reply to that. He knew for damn sure he wouldn't pit the kids against each other like he and Regulus had been. All Sirius could do was try his best and hope that it was good enough. Merlin, Sirius hoped his best was good enough.

Remus sighed. "Look, I know things have been strained between us lately…" he trailed off, his head shaking. "But we're the only ones left."

Sirius sucked in a breath. "We are."

"I'm not stupid, Sirius. I know the only reason we were all friends was because of James," Remus reasoned in a tight voice. "I think we all considered him our best friend, even though he only considered you his best mate. But there was a time in our lives that we did get along."

The corner of Sirius' lips twitched. "I found you considerably less annoying than Peter."

Remus let out a choked laugh. "Peter… why the hell did Peter do this? He was always trailing after James. He never stopped talking about James."

It was something that Sirius had thought of a lot when he was awake the previous night. Sirius had come up with nothing. He wanted to know why Peter did it. He really fucking did.

"I don't know," Sirius croaked.

"Dumbledore said the Order is looking for him," Remus said slowly, peering at Sirius. "Do you think we should tell them?"

Sirius' face pulled. "If we do that, then I'm going to have to confess too."

"There's a sixty-day period where one is required to register," Remus said, tugging a piece of parchment from his inner jacket pocket and tossing it onto the coffee table. "Pick a day in September. We can forge James' documents. Make it look legit."

Sirius leaned back in his chair, resting his right ankle on top of his left knee. Telling the truth would certainly give the Ministry an edge on finding Peter. Sirius was sure that he could probably find a picture of Wormtail that was taken recently. But if Peter was caught and told a different story than him, he could go down for forging an official document and failing to register in a timely manner. While Sirius didn't know what the exact punishment was, he was fairly certain it consisted of jail time.

"When they capture Peter and he sells me out…?" Sirius trailed off.

Remus sighed, rubbing his hands on his thighs. "I'd vouch for you, but I don't think the Ministry would care much about what I have to say. But you would have the upper hand in this. If it's not made public knowledge, then we have time to alter and stitch memories between you, Marlene, and myself to make our stories consist. I would be willing to break into Peter's flat and dispose of any photo evidence."

"You know how to manipulate memories like that?" Sirius asked, his fingers rubbing against his chin. "Learn that in the wolf packs, huh?"

"Are you accusing me of something, Sirius?" Remus snapped.

Sirius offered Remus an upside-down smile. "Nah, I'm not. I'm just asking a question."

"I don't know how to do it, but I know it's possible," Remus admitted, his jaw clenching. "You could figure it out and make it believable, Mr I Love Puzzles."

Sirius let out a huff. "Say I bite. You just suggest what? We all plant the same memory in our heads and extract it for the Ministry when Peter squeals?"

"I think we could create the memory at Godric's Hollow. Have Harry there. Then, we would just need to stitch in a memory of Lily and James there with us, with James transforming as well," Remus explained. "I've thought about this a lot when I was gathering Harry's things, in case you couldn't tell. I want to see Peter pay for what he did."

Sirius shook his head. "I'm not going back to Godric's Hollow. We'll have to stitch the entire thing," he explained, his tongue peeking out to lick his bottom lip. "I don't want to file until after I gain custody of Harry."

"Peter could be gone by then," Remus argued.

Sirius swallowed. "I have to put Harry first," he whispered. "He's like a shell of the kid he was. He's so quiet and scared and, and he saw it happen. He watched Lily die."

Remus rubbed his fingers along his forehead. "Dumbledore told me that too."

"I want Peter to suffer as much as you do," Sirius assured him. "I almost went after him last night. I was so close to hunting him down. Marlene stopped me. She helped me see reason. Harry's entire world has been turned upside down and I need to be there for him."

Remus looked out the window. "We should tell Dumbledore at least."

"It's my fucking secret and you should let me decide when and who to tell," Sirius argued, his hands clasping tightly in his lap. "We did this for you."

"I never asked you to lie about it!" Remus argued.

"We did it to protect you," Sirius explained, his eyes searching Remus' face. "You don't think the Ministry would have asked questions as to why three fifteen-year-old boys all decided to become Animagi? James and I looked at the form. It wanted who your mentor was and how long it took you to achieve it and your motivation behind learning. What the fuck were we supposed to put? We didn't obtain a mentor because who would want to mentor three thirteen-year-olds? Then, what? We'd have to say it took us a better part of two years to work it out by ourselves? Should we have put that Fleamont helped us brew the potion so we wouldn't wind up dead? Oh, and motivation? Just say we were bored or something? That the Hogwarts curriculum wasn't challenging enough for us?" he pressed, his head shaking. "So few wizards choose to be Animagi that they ask a bunch of personal and intrusive questions."

Remus let out a huff as he rose from the sofa. Placing his hands on his hips, he looked down at Sirius.

"Let me know what you decide then," Remus said in a short tone. "But if you want to catch Peter, then you have to come clean. We have no idea what is going on in his mind. I feel like I don't even know him anymore. He could come after Harry for all we know."

Sirius only nodded, cursing his moronic fifteen-year-old self. While they didn't want to expose a werewolf at Hogwarts, they could have come up with convincing lies to put on parchment. Except Sirius knew that the thrill of never registering had appealed to both Sirius and James. Now that decision was coming back to bite them all in the fucking arse. Peter could be anywhere, hide anywhere, and strike when they least expected it. That scared Sirius more than he was willing to admit.

Marlene was exhausted, having barely slept since before Halloween. While Sirius was able to rock Harry to sleep and lay him in his cot around eight every night, Harry always woke up in the middle of the night at around two or three screaming for James and Lily. The only thing that seemed to calm him was coming into bed with them. They always caved, trying to gain a few more hours of sleep for all three of them. Except Marlene was fairly certain Sirius never went back to bed. She'd wake up in the early hours of the morning to see him staring up at the ceiling with Harry snuggled into his side more often than not.

Marlene yawned as she iced Sirius' birthday cake, wanting to try to maintain as much normalcy as she could muster. Sirius had said he didn't want to celebrate. Marlene could understand why. Lily had planned a party for him at the Hollow, like she always did for everyone in their friendship group since they left Hogwarts. She had always made a huge dinner and a cake. She'd even buy little party hats. Marlene's heart ached for her friend just thinking about it.

While Marlene had agreed not to make a big deal out of his birthday, she would be damned if he didn't have a birthday cake and a present. She was more than happy to keep it to just the three of them.

Glancing up from her cake, she saw Harry sitting sideways on Sirius' lap at the kitchen table. They were eating an assortment of cut up strawberries and squished blueberries. Harry giggled every time he shoved a piece of fruit into Sirius' mouth. Marlene smiled before she turned back to her terrible icing job. Spinning the cake stand, her lips pursed at all the unevenness. Somehow, Lily always had a nice and smooth finish. She never taught Marlene her secrets.

With a sigh, she sat down her icing knife and grabbed the icing bag. Wrapping her left fingers around her right wrist, she steadied her hand as she wrote Happy Birthday, Sirius! on the top of the cake. She even tried her hand at some piping around the perimeter. She leaned back, admiring her handiwork. Biting her lip, she counted out twenty-two candles and placed them all around the cake before lighting them with her wand.

Picking up the cake carefully, Marlene started to walk towards the table. "Can I sing to you?"

Sirius chuckled. "Nah, I'm good. You didn't even have to bake a cake."

Marlene shrugged, sitting the cake down in front of Sirius and Harry. "It's your birthday, Sirius. You deserve a cake," she insisted, waving her hand in the direction of the cake. "If I can't sing, you have to at least blow out the candles and make a wish."

Sirius sighed, his head leaning down close to Harry. "Can you blow out the candles for me?" he asked, showing him how to blow air out. "Like that, kid. Can you help me?"

Harry immediately started blowing out air and most likely a lot of spit onto the cake. Marlene sank down into a chair across from them, her chin resting on her hand as she watched them with a fond smile. When Harry struggled to blow out all the candles, Sirius was forced to help him. As the last candle went out, Marlene clapped and cheered. Harry smiled, clapping and bouncing on Sirius' lap.

Marlene picked the cake up, taking it over to the counter to cut. She sent the cake plates floating over to the table with forks. Licking some icing off her thumb, she sat the knife in the sink before grabbing the birthday gift off the counter and making her way over to the table. She bought him some nice dragon-hide motorcycle gloves as well as a new transfiguration book he had been interested in reading about wandless conjuring. Now that Harry was with them, she signed the card from both of them. She had even managed to get Harry to scribble in the card while Sirius had been in the shower that morning.

Sirius sat Harry in the chair next to him, his little legs tucked under him to give him some height. Sirius ignored his own piece of cake as he helped Harry eat his. Marlene sat the gift down off to the side before she sat next to Harry.

"Here, let me help him," Marlene insisted, reaching for the fork. "It's your cake. You should be eating it."

Sirius sliced the fork down through the cake. "It's fine," he said, moving the fork to Harry's mouth.

Marlene searched Sirius' face. "I know everything is… is hard right now. I know we have the funeral tomor–"

"Marly, I really don't want to talk about the funeral right now," Sirius interrupted, his eyebrows tugging down. "I don't want to bury my best friends. I'm anxious about Harry being out in the open. I know it's supposed to be a closed service and, and the entire Order will be there to protect Harry, but just the thought of the funeral makes me want to bloody well vomit."

Marlene pressed her lips together. Lily and James were a topic of conversation that they had steered clear of, both still trying to tackle their grief into manageable levels. It didn't help when Harry cried out for his mum and dad every evening and randomly throughout the day. Sirius obviously wanted to grieve in stoic silence, avoiding any mention of them. He probably didn't know but Marlene had heard him quietly sobbing in the shower when he thought no one could hear him. Marlene, meanwhile, wanted to talk about them. She wanted to remember them and cry over them. Every time Harry called out for his parents, Marlene couldn't help the ugly sob that crawled up her throat and prickled at her eyes. She wanted Sirius to comfort her and for her to comfort him. Instead, they pretended like everything was normal. But nothing was normal.

Marlene crossed her right leg over her left, leaning back in her chair. "We have to talk about it, Sirius," she argued in a gentle tone. "We need to tell Harry something. He's been asking for them multiple times a day and now he's going to see their bodies tomorrow. We have to find a way to explain it to him in an age-appropriate way."

Sirius screwed his eyes shut for a few moments. "I don't know what to tell him. I don't even know how I'm supposed to take care of Harry and not fall apart tomorrow. I don't even know how I'm going to stand looking at their bodies," he said, letting out a dry sob at the last word.

Harry stared at Sirius, his big green eyes widening. Sirius tried to force a smile on his lip, albeit failing miserably. Sirius sliced the fork through the cake once more, holding it out for Harry to take a bite.

"Sirius, love, you don't have to be strong all the time," Marlene reasoned, her hand reaching across the table with her palm up. "You can fall apart. We can take turns falling apart."

Sirius sniffed, his lips pursing to the side. "We have Harry now," he whispered, reaching out his free hand for hers. "Aren't we supposed to make life as normal for him as we can?"

"We are," Marlene assured him. "But we can talk about the hard stuff and we can fall apart and comfort one another. Harry's probably so confused. Talking to him might help not just him, but us as well."

Sirius swallowed as he watched Harry drink out of his dragon cup. "Do we tell him they're gone? What do you even say to someone this young? His knowledge of the world is so small."

Marlene hesitated. She had no idea what they were supposed to say or how to explain any of this. There was no one to ask. Her parents were dead. Fleamont and Euphemia were dead. Marlene would rather eat dragon dung than even think about speaking with Walburga Black. None of their other friends who were still alive had kids.

"See-See, pway?" Harry asked, sitting his cup down onto the table with a loud thump.

Marlene leaned over, her fingers running through his hair. "Sirius needs to eat his cake still. Don't you want to finish your piece, love?"

Harry shook his head, a pout working its way onto his face.

Marlene grabbed his arm, tugging him gently to her. "Come here. Marly needs a hug. Can I have a hug? Please?" she asked, an exaggerated frown crossing her face.

Harry clamored over to her, wrapping his arms around her neck. Marlene rocked him in her lap, her cheek pressing against his temple.

"I'd eat quick if I were you," Marlene advised. "I can only keep him away from his favorite godparent for so long."

A ghost of a smile appeared on Sirius face as he used the fork he had been feeding Harry with to slice through his own piece of cake. He popped the piece in his mouth.

"It's good, Marly," he said after he swallowed. "I didn't know you could bake."

Marlene rocked Harry in her arms, her fingers carding through his soft hair. "Guess I still have some surprises up my sleeve. You're just used to…"

Marlene cleared her throat. She was going to say Sirius was just used to her mum's Euphemia's, and Lily's baking but stopped herself. While she had cooked plenty for Sirius and their friends, she let others take over the dessert portion of the meal. Especially because Lily loved to bake, having learned from her grandmother when she was little.

Sirius tapped his fork onto his plate. "I hate this," he admitted, his gaze focusing on his cake.

"It'll get easier," Marlene insisted, because she had to believe that.

Sirius let out a long sigh, leaning back in his chair. "It's been nearly a year since Fleamont and Euphemia died. It's been four months since your parents died. It's been a couple of days since…" he trailed off, his eyes flickering up to the back of Harry's head. "None of it is any easier."

Marlene's eyes searched Sirius' defeated face. The past year had been hard for them. They had lost so many loved ones. They had been beaten down and trampled on. Now that there seemed to be a bit of calm surrounding them, they were struggling to figure out how to breathe again in the wreckage. It didn't seem like it would be any easier for the three of them for a while.

Sirius crouched down to Harry's level, tying the kid's black tie with ease. He could remember tying Regulus' ties more often than not when they were kids and forced to attend some boring posh party. The summer before Regulus attended Hogwarts, Sirius had to actually teach the kid how to do it for himself. Sirius had learned when he was small from his Uncle Alphard, because Orion couldn't be bothered to actually spend any amount of bonding time with his sons.

Adjusting the tie, Sirius offered Harry a closed mouth smile. The kid looked cute in his Muggle black suit with his shiny new shoes. The reason for the outfit made Sirius want to die inside though. Reaching into his pocket, Sirius pulled out a tie clip for Harry. His godson stood patiently, too still for a fifteen-month-old.

"Look at us, we match," Sirius said, running his fingers through Harry's hair to try to smooth it down even though he knew it was fruitless.

Harry reached out to grab Sirius' black tie. They even had matching tie clips, courtesy of Andromeda and Ted. They had gone out with their measurements to buy Sirius and Harry suits for the funeral. Sirius had been grateful, because he didn't want to leave Harry nor did he want to take Harry out in public.

"Can we talk?" Sirius asked, settling down onto his bum. "About today?"

Harry peered at him, his fingers still playing with the tie. Clearing his throat, Sirius gently tugged Harry onto his lap. Harry gazed up at him, looking so innocent and inquisitive.

"I know things have been… well, they've been different lately," Sirius started, his eyes locking with Harry's. "I know it's been very confusing for you. I know you've been asking for your mum and dad."

At the names, Harry perked up. He started to look around the room. Sirius didn't think his heart could shatter any more than it already had.

"We're going to see your mum and dad today, Harry," Sirius continued in a strained voice.

"Mama? Dada?" Harry asked, his gaze snapping to Sirius.

Sirius attempted to swallow down his sorrow. "They're going to look like they're sleeping, okay? They won't be able to talk to you or, or hug you or anything. You'll come home with Marly and me afterwards, okay? Because you're going to live with Marly and me from now on."

Harry only blinked at Sirius, his face blank and clearly not understanding. "Mama. Dada."

Sirius sniffed, wiping his fingers underneath his eyes. "I miss them too, kid. I know I'm a poor replacement for your dad, but I will always be here for you. No matter what."

Harry burst out crying, sobbing for his parents as he pressed his face into Sirius' dress shirt. Sirius could only hold him, whispering comforting words in hope it was enough to calm him. But they felt empty and insincere. Nothing was all right. Nothing would be better anytime soon. There was just a pit of darkness that had engulfed them, threatening to drown them. Somehow, he was supposed to put on a happy face and pretend like a part of him hadn't died on Halloween as well.

Later that morning, Dumbledore arrived to escort them personally to Godric's Hollow. Luckily, Dumbledore and Remus had taken over the funeral arrangements so that Sirius and Marlene could focus solely on Harry. Sirius didn't even think he had the emotional bandwidth to plan a funeral anyway. Luckily, Marlene had been in her right mind to ask Remus to ensure that James was not buried with his watch so that they could gift it to Harry when he was seventeen. If Sirius was being completely honest with himself, he didn't even want to attend the funeral. How was he supposed to say goodbye to James and Lily?

Sirius held Harry in his arms, instructing him that he needed to hold onto the hat Portkey. Harry only curled into Sirius' arms, his eyes watching Dumbledore with an unhealthy level of suspicion. When Harry finally did grip the hat, Sirius made sure to place his hand on top so that the kid wouldn't let go during travel.

Harry screamed when Sirius felt the familiar tug behind his navel. His hand tightened over Harry's, forcing the kid to keep holding on. They arrived in a room inside the church by the cemetery. Sirius brushed away Harry's tears as Marlene rubbed the kid's back. Harry had to be so overwhelmed the past several days from the new locations to the new means of travel. His life had been so sheltered up until this point and now he was being thrust into so many new situations without his parents by his side. It seemed so cruel.

"I got you, kid," Sirius soothed, pressing his lips onto Harry's forehead.

"Alastor has the church perimeter secure," Dumbledore explained, keeping a healthy distance away from Harry. "The only people in attendance are Order of the Phoenix members and some Ministry of Magic officials."

"Who?" Sirius demanded.

"Minister Bagnold wanted to pay her respects as well as a few other high ranking Ministry officials," Dumbledore explained. "I have the upmost confidence that they are all here with good intentions. There will also be one reporter."

"No," Sirius said in a flat tone. "No fucking reporter."

Dumbledore nodded. "He was instructed to not speak to any of you and to keep his distance. In order to keep this funeral under wraps so the public at large didn't find out about it, this was a concession that needed to be made. One reporter to report on the event. As frustrating as you may find it, the public is wildly invested in what has happened. James and Lily are being hailed as heroes. Harry is being hailed as a savior. I feared the funeral would have been overrun with reporters and the public if these concessions were not made. That would have put Harry's safety in jeopardy."

Sirius only sneered. None of these people even knew James, Lily, or Harry. They weren't even being seen as people with feelings. Harry was just a bloody symbol, someone to gawk over as he buried his parents. Sirius wanted to scream.

"I don't want a camera in Harry's face," Sirius insisted, hiking Harry up in his arms. "That reporter better stay in the back of the fucking church."

"Sirius," Marlene said, her hand pressing between his shoulder blades. "It'll be all right."

"Magnus Shacklebolt has assured me he will be with the reporter the entire time to protect your privacy and to provide you room to grieve," Dumbledore assured them. "I know you hired him to help you with filing custody for Harry, so I knew you two already trusted him."

Sirius nodded. Magnus had been a year ahead of them at school, Ravenclaw prefect and Head Boy. While most prefects and heads found James' and Sirius' antics exasperating, Magnus had a good sense of humor and let them off with plenty of warnings. During their time in the Order together, Sirius and he grew quite close. Sirius trusted Magnus and it only seemed logical to hire him as their lawyer.

Once Harry calmed down, the three of them made their way into the main part of the church. The air left Sirius' lungs when he saw the matching black caskets in the front of the room. Bile rose in his throat as he caught sight of James' black hair in one of them. Harry clearly hadn't seen them. His face was buried into the crook of Sirius' neck as his little body shook with fear from all the people around. Harry had never been amongst a crowd before.

Marlene pressed close to his side, their shoulders brushing against one another. He looked down at her to see her fighting back the tears that swarmed in her eyes. She squared her shoulders, her chin tilting up just slightly.

"Do you want me to take Harry?" Marlene asked, turning to look up at him.

Sirius swallowed, his head nodding. Sirius transferred the toddler to Marlene, despite Harry clawing at his neck and making protests in the back of his throat. Once he realized it was Marlene that had him, Harry wrapped his arms tightly around her neck and pressed his cheek against hers. Harry's big eyes stared up at Sirius.

Wrapping an arm around Marlene's shoulders, he pressed a kiss to Harry's temple. The three of them walked into the room, drawing all of the attention onto them. Sirius tried to pay no attention to any of them, his gaze focusing on the caskets in front of him.

"Potter and Black were always inseparable," one voice commented.

"I heard they filed for custody of the boy," another voice said.

"The McKinnons are a good family but I don't think a Black should be allowed custody of any child," said another voice in a nasty tone.

"She's pregnant?" a voice exclaimed.

"They're going to raise two kids? They're just kids themselves!" another voice whispered loudly.

Sirius tried to block out the noise. He really did. It wasn't until Harry began to cry that Sirius was able to. His back straightened as he looked down at his godson. The kid's gaze was straight ahead at the caskets.

"Dada! Dada!" he exclaimed before his head turned to the matching casket. "Mama! Mama! Mama!"

Sirius pressed a hand against Harry's back as they stepped up to James' casket. He didn't look like himself and his hair was way too flat on his head. Sirius bit his bottom lip as he took another step closer to the casket, his hand reaching to grip James' cold one.

"He's sleeping, love," Marlene whispered behind him, her voice breaking. "Daddy's sleeping, okay?"

Bending down over the casket, Sirius pressed his temple against James'. His shoulders shook violently, unable to keep his sobs at bay any longer. James was gone. He was really gone. Sirius wished more than anything he could wake up from the nightmare he found himself in. They had been morons and reckless. They thought they were smarter than they were. How could they trust Peter? They should have only trusted each other, just like Fleamont told them after the prophecy had been brought to light. Sirius thought he knew better. He thought he was so damn clever. But he wasn't.

He really fucking wasn't.

"I'm sorry," Sirius gasped, his eyes screwing shut. "I'm so sorry. I'm sorry, James. I'm so sorry for everything."

It was unfathomable to imagine his life without James. He couldn't even remember how he had survived before he was eleven without James by his side. They had hit it off immediately, laughing within the first few moments when they decided to sit together in a train compartment. Sirius remembered him brandishing his pretend sword, so excited and full of life. He seemed like the type of bloke who just wanted to have fun. Sirius had been so desperate for fun, to forget about all the pureblood bullshit and always being on his best behavior to avoid trouble. James had breathed life into him and showed him how to enjoy life. James taught him how to be a good person.

It seemed wrong that James died and Sirius got to live. Sirius wished more than anything they could swap places. James was the far better man. Sirius could only hope to be half as decent as James was.

"I'll keep Harry safe," Sirius croaked. "I promise, James, I'll keep him safe."

Letting out a ragged breath, Sirius shifted his body. His lips pressed against James' forehead briefly before he rose to his full height. Harry's whimpers caught his attention. He turned towards the kid and held his arms open for him.

"Come on," Sirius urged as tears continued to spill down his face. "Do you want to talk to your dad?"

A red-faced Marlene passed Harry over to him. Sirius wrapped both arms around his godson, bending down so Harry could see his dad a bit better. James looked peaceful. Harry probably really did think he was just sleeping.

"Dada?" Harry called in a soft voice. "Dada, up. Dada?"

Harry's hand wrapped around the base of Sirius' neck, his body leaning closer to James. Sirius held onto him tightly so he didn't fall. The kid's fingers brushed along James' cheek. His little brows furrowed on his face, looking for too pensive for a toddler. They stayed like that for a while. Sirius didn't want to pull Harry away before he was ready.

Harry turned in Sirius' arms, both of his arms wrapping around his neck. Sirius stood up straight, feeling Harry's chin digging into his shoulder. Sirius stepped to the side to allow Marlene to say her goodbyes. When she bent down close to James, Sirius couldn't watch because he feared he'd break again. Putting his back to James, Sirius tangled his fingers in Harry's soft hair and just held him. The kid pulled back to look up at him with tears spilling down his cheeks. Sirius leaned his head forward, their foreheads connecting.

When Marlene touched his arm, Sirius pressed his lips to Harry's forehead before they made their way to the next casket. This time, Marlene said her goodbyes first. She whispered in Lily's ear, tears streaming down her face. Lily looked just as wrong as James did. Something off about the way she looked that Sirius couldn't quite pinpoint.

Marlene stepped to the side to allow Sirius and Harry to step up. Sirius did the same thing with Harry for Lily that he did for James. He leaned Harry in close to touch her face as he said her name several times and asked her to get up. The kid obviously wanted his parents to wake up, to talk to him, to do something other than just lie in some odd bed. When Lily didn't move, Harry hugged Sirius tightly around the neck.

Pressing a hand onto the back of Harry's head, Sirius leaned down further so he could say his goodbyes to Lily. She had been like the little sister he never had. She understood him better than anyone, maybe perhaps even better than James had. She could relate to having a shitty family, one that could be cruel and horrid. It was one of the first things they had bonded over, their mutual disgust yet longing for the sibling that they could no longer call their own.

"I'm sorry, Lils," Sirius croaked, pressing his lips to her cheek. "I promise I'll keep Harry safe. I'll make sure he has a good life, okay? I promise. I really, really promise."

Rising to his full height, Sirius ran a hand down his face to wipe away his tears. He focused on his breathing as he wrapped an arm around Marlene's shoulders and led her to the front row of seats. They sat pressed together, their thighs touching. Harry sat sideways on his lap, his face burying into Sirius' chest as his feet rested on Marlene's thighs. She wrapped her fingers around the kid's leg, her thumb brushing against his calf.

People filtered up to pay their respects. Nearly everyone shot the three of them pitied looks. All Sirius could do was stare at the top of Harry's head to try to avoid the staring. Andromeda and Ted came up to them, offering their condolences. Andromeda kissed him on the cheek, whispering in his ear that she was there for him before she moved Marlene. Ted clapped him on the shoulder. Nobody else dared to come up to them. Sirius didn't want anyone else's condolences or comfort, especially not when Harry cried off and on. It was taking everything Sirius had in him just to comfort his tiny godson.

When the speeches began, Sirius only felt numb. He knew he should say something because he knew them better than anyone else in the entire bloody world, but he couldn't bring himself to do it. There wasn't a chance in bloody hell that he'd be able to say something without breaking down. He managed to convince himself that it was okay that he didn't speak because Harry had fallen asleep crying on his lap. Surely, no one would expect him to disturb an orphaned kid at his parents' funeral.

Except, when people stopped talking and there was no one left, Sirius couldn't leave it like that. He couldn't just sit there and not say a proper goodbye to his family.

"Take Harry," Sirius whispered to Marlene.

Harry protested as Sirius slid him onto Marlene's lap. Sirius leaned over, pressing a kiss onto Harry's temple before he made his way up to the stage in front of the caskets. His breaths came out in harsh huffs, his fingers coiling around the podium. Harry watched him with watery eyes, looking like he was trying to bury himself into Marlene.

Sirius cleared his throat. "I, uh, I met James when I was eleven. We ran into each other on the Hogwarts Express trying to find a compartment. Lily was there too, but we didn't give her much attention at the time," he started, sniffing and wiping his finger under his nose. "We became instant friends. By the time we took that boat ride, we were best friends. Later, James would tell me that the Hogwarts Express was magical. It's the place where you meet your best mate. He said it was destiny that we met that day, because James was also a bloody sop."

Sirius' grip on the podium tightened until his knuckles were white. He sucked in a breath, his gaze lingering on Harry. The kid was still crying, looking so much like his dad. His fist rubbed against his eye.

"James and I were inseparable. It got so bad that Professor McGonagall banned us from serving detention together because it wasn't a proper punishment if we were goofing around while serving it. Merlin, did we serve a lot of detention," Sirius continued, small chuckles echoing in the room. "When we were in our fifth year, I had started talking to Lily. I found her crying in the common room one evening after I snuck back in after curfew. So, I went over to her and asked her what was wrong, because I couldn't just go to bed knowing she was upset even if we weren't friends. It seemed wrong. She had this letter clutched in her hands from her sister. I don't know what it said nor did I ask. But she told me how they fought a lot and things were strained between them. Anyone who knows me knows that I know all about strained family relationships. We talked for hours, just relating to one another and understanding what the other was going through in a way no one else in our lives understood. I think we became each other's siblings in a sense."

Sirius paused, trying to calm his emotions. He could do this. He could give a nice speech about two people who meant the bloody world to him. All he had to do was keep staring at Harry, the perfect blend between them.

"I was elated when James and Lily started dating. These two people that I considered my family were together and happy," Sirius said, struggling with his emotions. "I was best man at their wedding. I was named godfather to their son. I remember the day Harry was born. He was so bloody perfect and amazing and he came from my two favorite people and…"

Sirius bowed his head, a sob escaping his lips. His shoulders shook as he tried to swallow his grief. When Harry's little voice sobbed out his name, Sirius was a goner. Placing a hand over his mouth, he didn't know how he could even continue.

A hand pressed between his shoulder blades. Sirius turned to see Remus standing there with tear-tracks down his cheeks.

"James and Lily were so excited to be parents," Remus said in a shaky voice. "All of us were so excited for them. They created this perfect little family. I know we were all envious of their relationship and the family they created. It was… it was what we all hoped to have one day. They were the gold standard. They were the best people I have ever met in my life. So kind and intelligent and funny. The world feels empty without them. I know anyone who knew them feels the same way as we do."

Sirius rose to his full height, turning towards Remus. The two of them stared at each other for a moment before Sirius pulled him into a fierce hug, his hand thumping on his back. Sirius had never been more grateful for Remus' friendship than in that moment. All the anger and sour feelings between them the past year seemed to just slip away. They were the only friend each other had left.

The day after the funeral, Marlene felt drained. She woke up when the sun was barely in the sky, sliding out of bed as quietly as she possibly could because Sirius and Harry were still sleeping. Harry laid with his head against Sirius' chest and Sirius' arm was wrapped protectively around their tiny godson. Marlene's heart melted in her chest at the two of them together.

Making her way to the kitchen, Marlene put the kettle on for tea as well as brewed some coffee for Sirius. She glanced out the kitchen window at the water. It was calm, serene even. The total opposite of everything going on in their lives. The funeral had been hard. She had never seen Sirius break down so completely before. He was normally so in control of his emotions, being able to perfectly mask what he was feeling. Marlene had tried her hardest to remain strong for both Sirius and Harry, but her own grief had overtaken her. Honestly, the entire day had been a blur.

The kettle whistled. Marlene jumped to take it off the burner before the noise woke Sirius and Harry, especially since she knew how little sleep Sirius had gotten the past several days. His body had most likely finally shut down, allowing him to receive some much-needed rest. She made herself a cup of tea when a pecking sound filtered through her ears. Looking up, she noticed the Daily Prophet owl with a rolled-up paper.

Grabbing some coin from the dish by the window, she paid the owl and accepted the paper. She took a seat at the kitchen table and froze when she saw the picture and headline on the front page. It was a picture of Sirius holding Harry in front of Lily's casket, his arm slung around Marlene's shoulders. They had all obviously been crying and little Harry clung to his godfather.

The Potters Laid to Rest

The Boy Who Lived Attends the Funeral with His Godparents

It was a somber day in Godric's Hollow when James (21) and Lily (21) Potter were laid to rest. The ceremony was kept small with just immediate friends and family. Aurors were stationed around the cemetery to give those closest to the Potters time to grieve away from the prying eyes of the public. One of the biggest questions was answered yesterday: where is Harry Potter (1)? The Boy Who Lived arrived at the church with Sirius Black (22) and Marlene McKinnon (21). Black and McKinnon are named Potter's godparents and documents reveal that the two have filed for custody of the child.

The names Black and McKinnon are no stranger to the wizarding world. Both are descended from prominent pureblood families. McKinnon is the daughter of Merrick McKinnon (deceased) who was Deputy Head of the Department of Magical Law Enforcement and Geraldine McKinnon (deceased) who was a Healer in the Dark Curses and Ailment Ward at St. Mungo's. They, along with her brother (Matthew McKinnon) who was a respected Auror, were all murdered last July in a massacre planned by He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named's most faithful followers. McKinnon was the sole survivor out of her family. Black is the son of Orion Black (deceased) who was a prominent member of the Wizengamot and Walburga Black (56) a socialite currently residing in London. He is also the grandson of Arcturus Black (80) who currently presides as Chief Warlock on the Wizengamot.

Black and McKinnon are currently unwed but reside together and are expecting their first child. They have had custody of Potter since he defeated He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named. Their whereabouts are currently unknown.

Marlene stopped reading, the paper slipping from her fingers. Sirius would be irate when he saw. Not only was it leaked that they filed for custody of Harry, but it was also leaked that she was pregnant. Now, his family would know. Sirius wanted to keep the pregnancy a secret from them for as long as possible. He even claimed he'd be happy if they never found out.

"SEE-SEE!" Harry's voice cried.

Marlene bolted from her chair, rushing as quickly as she could to the back of the flat. She rounded into the bedroom to see Sirius sitting on the bed and crushing a sobbing Harry against his chest. Marlene stumbled into the room, her wide eyes staring at Sirius who looked like he was struggling to hold his emotions at bay. She sank down onto the mattress by Sirius' knees, her fingers brushing against his leg.

"What happened?" Marlene asked. "Was it a nightmare?"

Sirius shook his head. "I think he was scared when he woke up and I was still sleeping."

Marlene's heart shattered, her hand pressing against her mouth.

"I don't know what to do," Sirius croaked. "I don't know how to make this better."

Marlene scooted closer to them, her hand pressing against Harry's knee. "I think it just takes time."

"I hate this," Sirius whispered before he placed a kiss on top of Harry's messy hair.

Marlene sucked in a breath, a wince crossing her face. "I have something else you'll hate."

Sirius looked up at her, his eyebrows raising. "What now?"

Marlene cleared her throat. "There was an article in the paper this morning about the funeral. Our picture was on the front page. It's been made public knowledge that Harry is with us and we filed for custody."

Sirius let out a breath. "It was bound to come out sooner or later."

"That's not all," Marlene continued, her hand moving to touch his arm. "There were little blurbs about us. It was stated that we were… well, that we were living together and pregnant with our first child and unwed."

Sirius' lip curled, his head shaking. "Just fucking…" he trailed off, his eyes sliding shut.

"What's the worst Walburga can do? Honestly, Sirius," Marlene insisted. "You're an adult who has gone no contact and made it very clear you don't wish to ever restart contact."

Sirius sighed, his eyes opening to look at her. "I hope the baby is a girl. They're less likely to care about sinking their claws into a female. They're sexist wankers obsessed with male heirs and carrying on the Black family name."

Marlene frowned. "Would you be upset if that baby is a boy?"

"Of course not!" Sirius exclaimed, not even hesitating for a moment. "I would be more concerned about them attempting to contact the kid when they're older then. Probably try to entice them with some bullshit. But a baby is a baby. I don't want to be the kind of dad who cares about stupid stuff like that."

They didn't discuss the topic any longer. Sirius helped Harry get ready for the day while Marlene cooked breakfast. They wanted a lowkey day to relax and forget about how horrid the funeral was yesterday. Harry, like he had since Halloween, stuck close to either Sirius or Marlene. He was like their little shadow, always following them around the small flat. Sirius was the one he clung more often than not, constantly asking to be held and to play. Sirius caved every single time.

While Sirius stacked blocks with Harry, Marlene turned on the wireless since the Arrows versus Puddlemere game was going to start in a good fifteen minutes. She unpacked some of the things she had grabbed from the cottage and Remus had grabbed from Godric's Hollow. Pictures and trinkets that could remind all three of them of home. Marlene paused at one photo of Sirius, James, and Harry lounging on the sofa together. Harry sat in the middle with his stuffed dog and stag. She debated on where to put it. While she knew that she didn't want Harry to forget his parents, she did wonder if it would be too painful and confusing for him to see their pictures and not them. In the end, she placed it on the bookshelf. As painful as the photos may be to look at, they couldn't forget them. Not even for a moment.

The game started, the players being announced onto the pitch while Marlene cleaned and rearranged the fireplace mantle to her liking. Harry's playful babbles stopped.

"Dada!"

Marlene turned around to see Harry jumped up from his spot on the floor next to Sirius. He ran as fast as his little legs could carry him, looking around the flat and calling out for James. Marlene just stared at him, her mouth dropping open. Sirius was off the floor in an instant, rushing over to Harry. He knelt down beside the toddler, his arm wrapping around his shoulders.

"Hey, hey, what's wrong?" Sirius asked. "What do you need, kid?"

"Dada!" Harry exclaimed and then let out a string of nonsensical syllables that Marlene couldn't put together even if she tried.

Sirius looked just as lost. When Harry was obviously not being understand, he started to cry. Sirius looked up at Marlene, silently asking for her help. She knelt down on the other side of Sirius, her hand reaching out to brush Harry's hair out of his face.

"Harry, love, it's all right," Marlene soothed. "Tell us what's wrong."

Harry let out a gut-wrenching sob. "Dada!"

Marlene bit her lip, her palms pressing against his cheeks. "Daddy isn't here," she said in a soft tone. "You live with Sirius and me now."

"Dada!" Harry cried again, his finger pointing at something.

Marlene tried to follow his line of sight but couldn't figure out what he was talking about. She really wished he was able to communicate with them better.

"Dada! Dada! Dada!" Harry said, becoming increasingly more distressed.

"Fuck," Sirius whispered as he tugged Harry close to him.

"What?" Marlene asked, turning her attention to him.

"James and Harry used to listen to the Magpie games together," Sirius whispered in a thick voice, wiping the tears off Harry's face with his fingers. "You want to listen to the Quidditch match with your dad, don't you?"

"Dada!" Harry sobbed.

Marlene hadn't even thought about that. Of course, now that Sirius had mentioned it, she could remember all the times that Harry and James sat on the sofa while listening to the games. Harry was always so animated, jumping on the sofa and cheering with James. Marlene felt like a horribly insensitive godmother.

"Hey, hey, Harry, will you listen to it with me?" Sirius asked, shooting Harry a tight smile. "I'll listen to the Quidditch match with you."

Harry's bottom lip quivered, tears swimming in his eyes. His eyes glanced around the room one more time before he slid his hand into Sirius'. Standing up, Sirius had to hunch over in order to hold Harry's hand. They made their way over to the sofa and sat down. Harry cuddled into Sirius' side, oddly quiet. Marlene took a seat next to Harry, wanting to be there for him as well.

Throughout the game, Harry didn't jump up or cheer even once. Sirius tried his best to engage Harry, which would have been comical in any other situation given Sirius' severe lack of interest in the sport. But Harry only sat quietly, listening and occasionally looking around the room for someone who wasn't coming.

I hope you enjoyed this gut-wrenching chapter! Don't forget to drop a review. They help me stay motivated to keep writing!

Special thanks to prewettpotter for her help!