Deadpool meets the Twin gods of Pandora
Kind of

"FUCK THIS SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII-OOF!" Perking up at hearing the impact from over a pile of crushed cars and technicals, a woman wearing orange pants with makeshift boots turned to the pile with her head tilted in confusion, her face hidden behind a Psycho's mask, her hair was Bright red with a wild Mohawk with the tips dyed white, her exposed skin being that of a Caucasian with a scar running up her right arm with bandages heavily wrapping around her right hand, her weapon was that of a Baseball bat like weapon with a functioning buzzsaw spinning slowly.

Slowly approaching the pile of metal, the psycho climbed up to the top to find the top cars roof caved in with a red blob groaning from within.

Seeing the ruined clothes as much to her astonishment, the flesh began knitting itself back together.

Perking up in excitement, the Psycho began digging up the body parts to dump them onto the slowly restored human body.

Listening as bone popped and snapped into place, Wayde gave one final groan as he sat up to fix his left shoulder properly.

The red masked man looked up to the Psycho to notice… her large breasts wrapped up in a bandage bra.

Blinking at the sight of each other, the psycho sat with her chest puffed forward between her arms, Wayde gave a wave that the woman herself returned with a child like excitement.

"Uh, Hi?"

"YOUR SPLEEN WAS LEFT TO TICKLE THE SCREAMING MITES!" Hearing that sentence with a happy voice, Wayde to his astonishment, understood her as words flowed into his head.

'You fell from the highlands and you were in pieces, are you ok?'

Giving a nod to the Psycho, she gave a happy clap before grabbing his arms and dragging him away from the Deadpool shaped imprint on the car roof.

Stumbling as he was dragged away by the very curvy Psycho, Wayde had a thought.

'Where is she taking me?'

Some time later, outside of the Highlands

Following his newly acquired guide of Pandora, Wayde and the nameless Psycho babe were pretty much outside of the Map in game terms from the Borderlands game, and despite this turn of events, Wayde was feeling pretty calm above this situation.

I mean if he can get horny over Harley Quinn the warning of don't stick you dick in crazy became quite pointless if your crazy yourself.

Except this left Wayde confused as he found himself and the Psycho-babe entering a compound sporting poor graffiti of two teens as above them.

Recognition echoed in Wayde's mind as he was led into the compound where it was shown barren with but a few people hanging around.

"Uh, Where are we?" turning to him with an excited hop, the Psycho-babe spoke.

'The holy twins must meet you, a fellow god amongst them would make a trinity for our broken minds' oh great she was a religious psycho babe, oh her breasts are bouncing with each ho-SNAP OUT OF IT WAYDE!.

Shaking his head to free his mind, Wayde went to speak fi not for a voice to call out to them.

A Much saner voice thankfully.

"Tin-tin, your back from your pilgrimage early, did you bring gifts for our rising gods?" turning to a horrifically robed man as he approached with a squad of bandit like men, they eyed him with suspicion as the now named Tin-tin hopped in place.

"GOD TWINS HAVE TRINITY, RED BLOOD MELTED TOGETHER A MEATSHAKE!" gesturing to Wayde whose eyes stared at her as her words slowly faded into sense, Wayde groaned.

'The twin gods have a third twin, red man pulled himself back together to walk amongst the living again, a third god defying death'

Turning to the guy, Wayde spoke hoping slightly.

"I fell after fighting Loader bots from this handsome jackass, do you know which way u-BAM!" feeling his chest blown open from a shotgun blast that left Tin-tin flinching at the suddenness, Wayde looked down to find his shirt ruined with his bloodied chest stitching itself back together, leaving his shirt ruined.

Looking to the robe guy who dropped the shotgun in awe, Wayde sighed.

"Was that really necessary?" the only answer he got was a stunned silence before he rushed off.

"Yeah didn't think so"

"Holy Twins Tyreen, Troy, fantastic news has been bestowed upon us!" getting the attention of two teens as they were fixing their looks, a tanned teen with black hair in the process of being dyed blonde turned to the cultist with an annoyed look.

"And what would that be?"

"A lost twin has been found!" getting blinks of confusion, Tyreen and Troy Calypso turned to one another before back to the cultist.

"What!?"

Stepping through a door with a loud crash, Tyreen, in a overly large Jacket that belonged to her father, looked around the compound with Troy following behind her, his right arm a large mechanical prosthetic.

Spotting a crowd at a stage, the two made they're way to it to hear cheers as a man in a red mask spoke to the crowd with an awkward air from him, and seeing the large hole in his chest to show unmarked skin, Tyreen frowned as he spoke.

"I believe there is a misunderstanding, I'm not a triplet to these twin gods of yours, I grew up in America not some weird planet called pandora!" walking through the crowd that slowly parted upon noticing her, Tyreen crossed her arms in silence as a disciple spoke up, showing he had a voice from that Monk planet.

"But your wounds healed before death could claim you, you're a god walking among us!"

"I heal fast is that so hard to understand!?" turning to the crowd with his masked eyes snapping to Tyreen, the man in red perked up while Tyreen could see he was checking her out before he turned back to the crowd.

"Please everyone just let me leave so I can help against the Jack Ass and his robot army"

Turning to see Tin-tin in the crowd jump up with a cheer, her "Bra" however chose that time to fall down, leaving Wayde staring blankly.

"Someone cover her up as much as the sight is enticing I have things to do" moving to leave, Tyreen spoke.

"Who the hell are you?" turning to the bombshell before she becomes an evil bitch, Wayde spoke.

"Wayde Wilson, who are you gorgeous?"

"Tyreen Calypso, this is my brother Troy."Hi". what's this I hear about our followers calling you our twin?" getting a sigh of annoyance from Wayde he instead answered by pulling out a gun and aiming it below his chin after removing his mask, leaving Tyreen blushing at his handsome face, her mind caught up to her as she noticed the gun finally.

"DONT!?"

BANG!

Staring at the sight of Wayde's face being blown off from the chin up, Tyreen sighed as she spoke in annoyance as Wayde's body stumbled.

"All that godly praise and the moron kills himself" turning away without giving Wayde a second glance, Tyreen looked to Troy who was pointing behind her with a dumbfounded face.

Turning back her eyes widened as Wayde's face healed back, giving her a look he gave a flirtatious wink that left Tyreen Calypso, future bane of Pandora… a blushing mess.

"Oh god that was hot"