Embarrassment. Anger. Emptiness. All for a few moments of pleasure. She had given into him, her own monster emerging from the shadows. It must have been some sort of mistake, right? The effects of the calming potions she had taken days ago must have been still having some sort of effect, she tried to convince herself. But she knew all well the half-life of nearly every potion in the human system. Calming potions would have been completely flushed from her after day two.

She was completely sober, and he was drunk. Aside from Draco initiating contact, she had done the rest. He had even asked her if she wanted it, and by all accounts, she said yes in numerous ways.

Hermione mindlessly turned the page of the book she had opened, she hadn't read a single word on the page, still fuming with rage. It wasn't even directed at him anymore. She was mad at herself.

But she couldn't stop thinking about it. She had never had someone speak to her that way before. Hermione had always found herself to be the more domineering type. She certainly always was more so than her previous partners. Fucking Viktor Krum was fun, which is to be expected from an athlete, but always left something to be desired. He was strong, fit, and handsome. But he was quiet and straight faced, never giving any feedback.

Sex with Ron? If she were completely honest, it was a little boring. They had tried to spice things up, but it always felt awkward. They'd go back to their usual routine, but she didn't mind because she loved him. Seamus was a good mix of fit and a little silly. He always made her laugh, and made her feel good. But most times she felt as if she was just using him to get over Ron.

And even though Draco didn't even need to touch her to send her over the edge, his words alone were enough to drive her wild, she had to remember what he had done.

He was a monster, and now she knew why.

However, he had made his intentions clear, everything he was doing that could make him the slightest bit redeemable was for his own selfish intentions. He only cared about himself and the Greengrasses.

But the way he had washed away the blood from her hair and softly tended to her, that had to mean something, right?

It didn't matter though, because it happened because of him. She was his prisoner.

It broke her heart to learn that he had lost so much. But she did too. Would the horrors of what he endured make the pain he's caused others justified? Could the fact that his own mother was forced to drain the life away from him be the reason alone for him to do it to so many others?

Lock it away, she told herself over and over again.

There was a slight knock on her door. She was hoping that it would be someone, anyone else but him. Hell, she'd take Pansy being in the hall at this point. To her dismay, standing there was Draco Malfoy with a drunk smile on his face.

"For fuck sake, haven't you already had your little fun with me already?" She turned away and sat back onto her red velvet reading chair, pulling a book open to try to avoid him. He still looked disheveled, but in new clothes from the night before. "Are you still fucking drunk?"

He entered the room, leaning against her desk. "God, that big fucking mouth of yours, does it ever stop unless I make it?"

Something deep inside her stomach stirred, coming alive. She tried to suppress it. "What do you want?"

"After our little adventure last night, I forgot I had to take you to class this morning and have some meetings to get to."

Hermione looked at the clock, completely forgetting that she was to report to Umbridge on Tuesdays at 8 am. "That isn't for another fifteen minutes."

"Perfect, I only need half that." He got on his knees in front of her, his cold fingers trailing her thighs just below the cut off of her night gown. Her body nearly shook at the sensation.

She stared at him. "What the fuck are you doing?"

"Did you bathe last night?"

"Of course I did, I'm not a heathen. Any time you touch me I have to wash it away."

"Tsk tsk. What a shame," he said as his hands rubbed her knees. "I couldn't stop thinking about your warm cunt last night, Granger. I wanted to know what it tasted like."

"In your dreams, Malfoy." She held her legs closed, not giving in.

He kissed the top of her thighs and bunched her dress in his hands. "What is it, Granger? Do you want me to beg? I can beg real nice." His cold breaths brushed against her skin, giving her goosebumps. "Please Granger, let me eat this pretty little cunt of yours."

He kissed higher up.

"Please let me taste it while you think about how much you hate that you love it."

Another kiss, higher.

"I'm begging you to think about how good it feels compared to anyone else who has had their face buried here."

Another kiss, even higher.

"And how much you hate me."

This time, his icy tongue licked her skin.

"And I want you to please, please think of all the other things you want me to do to you."

Hermione hadn't noticed that her fingers had laced into his hair and that her mouth was hanging slightly open. Draco's nose was practically buried in the crux of where her thighs touched, gently kissing as his fingers ran along her body.

"You'd better hurry and make up your mind, Granger. We don't have much time left. I'm good, but not that good."

Everything in her head was screaming no, alarm bells ringing. But her legs slowly opened, and she saw him lick his lips as his arms wrapped under her knees to pull her closer.

His tongue licked up the entirety of her slit over her underwear. She gasped loudly as the already wet fabric was now soaked and freezing cold. Instinctively, one of her hands released its grip from his hair and went towards her breast.

Draco moved the fabric of her underwear to the side, looking up into her eyes. He dipped his tongue against her skin, licking right at the spot that nearly made her scream. He repeated the same motion over and over, licking further down each time until he was spanning her whole entrance up to the very tip of where her nerves were bundled. The frigid tongue danced along every crevice, making her knees buckle.

"You taste better than I imagined. Have you ever tasted yourself?" he whispered onto her thigh, kissing it, nipping it gently. She flinched when she felt his teeth against her skin. When he felt her response, he did it again to the other thigh, making her twitch again. "Merlin, I want you to come all over my face."

"If you fucking bite me…"

He spread her open and spit on her open hole, making her silent as she felt his cold saliva dripping down her. The sensation of cold shock silenced her before she could finish her sentence. "What are you going to do, Granger?"

It felt like an ice cube was being run along her as his index finger traced along her opening. She moaned, tiling her head back slightly.

"You think you're in control here?" He smiled, taunting her. "I think I'm about to have you wrapped around my finger."

She felt his fingertip apply pressure, preparing to breach her. His lips returned to her clit, applying a soft sucking motion to it that nearly brought her to the edge. Hermione felt an agonizing desire, she wanted him to enter. To feel his fingers curl and hit that sweet spot as she felt his tongue glide against her.

How could the touch of a monster feel so fucking good? To have the single brush of his finger make her crumble beneath him, making her forget all of her morals and dignity.

He ripped Seamus apart right in front of me. He's killed hundreds of people. He watches as they torture me. He kidnapped me and I'm being held hostage. He's a fucking vampire.

But she didn't want to lose control again. Not twice within the span of hours. Allowing him inside her would be a whole new level of intimacy. It would be something she felt like she couldn't wash away. Though he had awoken a beast inside of her, she would not allow him to tame it.

Draco, still lapping away at her, pushed his finger forward ever so slightly.

"Stop," she commanded, and he took pause. "Nothing of you will ever go inside of me. Not your fingers, not your cock, and especially not your fucking teeth. Do you understand?"

He paused, and for a fraction of a second, she thought that he may have just gone and had his own way with her, disregarding her demands. To her surprise, his eyes found hers, and without removing his lips from the spot they had been, his hand pulled away.

His arms wrapped tighter around her thighs as he pulled Hermione closer to his face, grinding his nose into her clit while his tongue continued to explore her. Hermione let out small whimpers, weaving her fingers through his hair once more, moving her hips and creating more friction, trying to feel that same level of bliss she had felt just hours before.

Fire whiskey. Calming draughts. Draco Malfoy.

Three things that gave her a sense of euphoria that was always met with consequences. They'd always end up leaving her with more pain than she had to begin with.

Fire whiskey was poison. She'd forget all the hurt she endured when she drank, but the following day would cause a cruel reminder of it in the form of a throbbing head.

Calming draughts were just a mask. They would suppress all the agony she felt, only for it to be amplified when its effects wore off.

Draco Malfoy was a monster disguised as a man. The illusion of pleasure, but had been the cause of so much of her pain.

Her breaths became heavier and faster. In response, Draco's movements became more deliberate, fixating on what made her moan the loudest. It was as if he was trying to memorize each spot that made her body shake and what would make her toes curl.

"I… fucking…. hate… you…" she gasped out between breaths. "You're a… pathetic piece of… shit…"

He mumbled something back onto her that she couldn't hear or care to understand.

"Just… like that," she murmured again after he found the place she wanted him to assault his tongue with. "I really… fucking… HATE… you…. FUCK."

Hermione held his head tightly between her thighs, gripping his white hair between her fingers. Her legs were shaking as she released him. The only way she could describe the feeling in her body was intoxicated. She felt drunk off him, like nothing else mattered but the sensations he was presenting to her.

The smile on his face sobered her quickly. He looked smug, like he had won a game they were playing.

"Christ, Granger, I thought you were about to rip my head off," he said, his lips dripping with her. "And look at the time. Get yourself presentable, I'll be back for you."

—

After Draco dropped Hermione off, he had to apparate to another one of Potter's meetings. It was a chore, but it was the only thing that would guarantee Astoria and Daphne security. He needed the Order and most of all, he needed Hermione.

Draco believed she was about the only one who could figure something out fast enough. There had to be a cure right? Curses can be removed from just about anything. Objects, people, places. What was so different about his and Astoria's blood curses?

With as many healers and professionals they had seen about Astoria's curse, it seemed nearly impossible. Draco never dared to ask about his, scared that word would get back to Voldemort. Voldemort needed Draco to be a vampire, that and the remaining horcruxes were about the only thing keeping his reign over Europe afloat.

If he found out Draco was betraying him or attempting to become human again, that would be the end of the Greengrasses.

He didn't care so much about his end. It was almost a guarantee with how the war was looking, he would probably be banished to Azkaban for the rest of his miserable existence or be burnt to a crisp. The latter was preferable. And that was okay, as long as Tori and Daph were taken care of. And if Theodore served a light sentence, he'd make sure they were safe.

The Order had to understand that they were all just kids when the war started. Teddy, Pansy, Blaise, hell, even Goyle, as nasty as he was. They were conditioned by their families, forced to fight a war their parents started.

Draco was determined to end it.

Once Potter gets rid of the last two horcruxes, he was gonna go and rip off Voldemort's head himself. For his mother, for Cornelius, for Astoria, for Daph.

"Took you long enough," Ron scoffed as Draco entered the dilapidated shack. "Been waiting like an hour."

"I told you not to bring him along, Potter. He annoys me." Draco ignored him, but couldn't help but think of Ron's sordid history with Hermione. They were together forever and he had the audacity to cheat on her? Sure, she was insufferable, hard headed, a smart ass, but that's what made her fun. She was a challenge, like a puzzle you'd want to take your time with. And he would bet every dime he had in Gringotts that she fucked like a fairy too.

And he craved her. Her blood, her flesh, her attention. He could still taste her on his lips and yet it wasn't enough.

Stop. Thinking. About. Her.

Ronald Weasley was nothing to him. A waste of a man, he thought. A waste of Hermione's time, he was sure. If it wasn't for Harry being there, he would have killed Ron without a second thought.

"Listen, where I go, he goes," Harry said. "Just be civil please."

"Oh, when Granger mentioned that her red-haired lover had an affair, I pictured someone with bigger tits than you, Potter."

Ron threw his hands up and scoffed, "How do you expect to work with this bloke, Harry? He's probably feeding on Mione and slowly turning her into a vampire."

Draco raised an eyebrow. "And you fucking care now for some reason?"

Harry did his best to redirect the conversation. "Listen, we haven't been able to find the locket."

"What do you mean you haven't found it yet? I told you exactly where it was," Draco's voice was annoyed and impatient.

"It's impossible to access now, it's a labyrinth, enchanted to all hell. We need Hermione," Harry said, his voice was stern, trying to puff out his chest to make his thin frame seem larger.

"No way in hell that happens. Forget that notion. You twats too stupid to figure it out yourselves?"

They both stood in front of him, shrugging. It was clear that the Order had used Hermione to the point where they depended on her for all of their success. They gave away their most vital tool, and now they were regretting their trade.

"Listen, if she just comes next time, we can tell her what enchantments we need broken," Harry nearly begged, and as much as it brought joy to Draco to see him pleading, he stayed firm.

"No."

Ron piped up, unwanted from both Harry and Draco, "Well, whose side are you on then?"

"I'm on the side that keeps the people I care for safe. You are not taking my one piece of leverage. Just tell me the enchantments, I'll tell her myself."

"I want to see her," Harry said.

"You should have thought about that before you gave her to me."

—

Draco had a long day. After meeting with Potter, the Dark Lord sent him all around England to meet with dignitaries and pure-blood families to force them into keeping their support for him. It was draining, talking to people, killing them if they didn't obey. Luckily, he only has to rid himself of two Ministry employees that had pledged their allegiance to the Order.

He had gone out drinking again. Theodore wasn't even there, he had gone with some of the few people he would tolerate. Normally, he would have rather just gone home or to Pansy's. But he was desperate to do something to keep his mind busy. The distraction was needed, it made him, in the moment, stop thinking about Hermione Granger.

At least until he was alone with his own thoughts again, and then his desire to have her became unbearable. He wanted to consume her in every way possible. With his mouth, his eyes, his hands. Draco feared nothing would be enough to satisfy his hunger for her.

Stop. Thinking. About. Her.

When Draco stumbled back into his home, he saw Astoria sitting by the fireplace. She sat perfectly still, her eyes closed, listening to a record playing very softly in the late hours. His heart broke when he saw how dark the circles under her eyes had gotten and how hollow her cheeks looked.

He kissed the top of her head before laying down on the couch, resting his own head on her lap. Her lips pulled into a smile, and she looked down at him.

"Out getting wasted again?" she laughed, running her fingers through his hair gently.

Draco mumbled in response, his head still a bit cloudy.

"You've been doing that a lot lately, are you okay?" she asked him.

"I should be asking you that, Tori."

"Oh hush, I'm fine."

"You look tired," he said, approaching the topic that she hated speaking about delicately.

She paused for a moment, looking at the fireplace. "I am tired, Draco. I feel so weak all the time. Can barely summon a tissue to my bedside."

"I'm so sorry," he said. Guilt again was filling his chest. He had been so busy trying to work both sides of the war, he hadn't realized how sick she was lately. "What can I do to help? I can take a few days off, we can go somewhere nice. Maybe Vancouver? Or Hong Kong? Make a weekend out of it. We can go shopping, sightseeing, whatever you like."

"I wish I could, but Pansy's birthday is coming up and we're doing a lot of planning for her special day." She sighed dramatically, like she was forcing him to look at her. "But you should take Hermione though."

"Why would I take the mudblood?" he rolled his eyes.

"She seemed really upset today when Tappy brought her back from Hogwarts. Been locked up in her room since."

"Not my problem," he muttered.

Astoria stopped combing his hair, putting her hand on his cheek. She felt warm and comforting. Her heartbeat was so familiar to him. "Actually, I think she is your problem. You made her your problem when she was screaming that she hated you at the top of her lungs this morning."

"She's got a big fucking mouth," Draco grumbled.

She giggled, "And you forgot to close the door. But I'm being serious, she hasn't acted like this once in like three months. Something happened today. You need to check on her."

"Tori, you're so much better at this than I am," Draco pleaded. "I can't see her now, I'm too drunk."

Astoria shook her head, and patted his cheek. "I tried, she won't answer for me."

"Fine," he conceded. "I'll check on her in the morning."

"You like her, don't you?" she asked him, smiling smugly.

"I don't. I'm just being a good host and showing her a good time."

It was mostly true, most times he couldn't stand being around her, but when he wasn't, he wanted nothing more than to touch her warm skin and to run his fingers through her curly mess of hair.

"You're lonely, Draco."

"I'm not. I've got you, Tori."

"I won't be around forever," she said softly, twirling some of his hair between her fingers.

The thought of Astoria dying made him sick. He couldn't imagine a world without her. Turning her into a vampire was the last thing on this earth he wanted to do. But he and Daphne would fall apart without her, and Astoria would be willing to subject herself to a life without feeling the warmth of the sun on her skin if that meant they would be happy.

However, there was a fear of what might happen to her. Astoria was the person who carried insects outside if they made it into the house. She was soft and kind, two things he wasn't. But that helped him adjust to the transition. Would she hate herself for constantly having the urge to kill to satisfy her thirst?

He took her left hand and held it against his, pointing out their matching wedding bands. They were both silver, with a brilliant emerald as a statement piece of both of them.

"Astoria, this was my promise to you and Dad that I'd keep you safe. We're going to figure this out. I swear to you. Just give it a little more time."

"I will," she whispered. "I'm going to try."

He set her hand on his chest and they listened to music quietly for a few minutes longer.

"Draco?"

"Yes, Tori?"

"Do you miss the sun?"

"Sometimes, yes."

"If I'm like you, will I still get tired?"

"Sometimes, yes."

She paused for a moment. "Will I want to hurt people?"

"Sometimes, yes."