Blu sat leaning against a wall in the hollow as he watched the sun rise against an orange and pink sky, unaware that on the other side of Rio, his arch enemy had devised another plan against him. A light and warm breeze flew in and out of the hollow, flowing seamlessly against his feathers and wings. It reminded him of the wind he felt when he was on top of the hang-glider the first time he was in Rio. It was a quiet, peaceful morning...
At least, it would be, if Yin wasn't rambling to Blu. The poor bird had been getting harassed by Yin all night, ever since he was at the river, weeping to himself.
Yin had been talking about a bunch of different topics, to the point where Blu couldn't even remember what Yin had first said at that river. All Blu was trying to do now was ignore Yin, his temper low and his body full of annoyance, as he tiredly stared at the rising sun.
"Tico-taco, tico-taco, tico-taco...", Blu repeatedly mumbled to himself, trying to ignore Yin's ranting, but to no avail.
"Hey, what do you think will go wrong today?", Yin asked. "Do you think some bird's going to make fun of you? Will the kids start fighting? Will one get hurt? How about two? Or, maybe all three of them? Is today the day Jewel leaves you? Or do you think another bird will steal her? What about Roberto, or that pitch-black bird from that one nightmare, what if he's real? How abo-"
Blu lost it.
"Can you please be quiet?!", he yelled, his patience entirely gone at this point. "I can't hear myself think! I've listened to you talk, and talk, and talk all night long! Please, shut your beak and leave me alone!"
"Hmm... leave you alone...", Yin repeated, as he began to stop and think. "Let me think about it...", he said, placing a talon on the bottom of his beak. He went quiet for a few seconds, before he opened his beak and smiled. "No.", he said happily, actively ignoring Blu's annoyance.
"Urgh, why?! What is your problem? Can't you just... ugh, never mind. You're not going to listen anyways."
"Absolutely. You listen to me, not vice-versa. Only versa-vice."
Blu rolled his eyes. "You talk way too much.", he said, tapping his talon against the floor, trying to control his voice.
"Yeah, I'm a real talkative bird...", Yin said, yawning. "Some say I talk too much."
He smiled.
"And if that's what they say about me... I can only wonder what they say about you."
Blu's body began to feel hot as a sense of embarrassment and shame began to wash over him. "Seriously, don't do this. I'm not in the mood."
Yin paid no attention to Blu's wishes. "You know Blu, I can't read other birds' minds, but... if I were to guess what they say about you...", Yin said, his eyes fully staring into Blu as he slowly began to creep closer to him.
"They probably say that you're an... awkward, stuttery macaw, who's voice is just a little too high and neurotic, to the point where it becomes grating to listen to after a while. And that's just your voice! Who knows what other birds say about you in general."
"God, you are insufferable!", Blu growled angrily. "Absolutely ins-"
Yin let out a small laugh. "Blu calling another bird insufferable? Oh man, that's the biggest hypocrisy I've EVER seen... and I've seen a LOT of that from you, Blu."
Blu growled again. "Yeah, well you know what I've seen a lot of? Other jackass birds, like you, who-"
"Woah, woah, woah. Foul mouth over here!", Yin called out, fully aware he was getting on Blu's nerves. "That's more hypocrisy from you. You tell your kids not to say words like that, but then you go and call me a jackass."
"Yes, because that's what you are. I tell my kids to tell the truth, and-"
"Ah, yes. Because God knows you've taught them well. Life lessons from Blu... leave your kids and mate worrying about you."
Blu stopped, his anger diminishing into a cold and scared look. "Stop. Don't bring that up right now... I don't want to think about that."
"Are you sure?", Yin taunted. "Because I want to think about it. Besides, nobody is awake. It would be a perfect time for you to-"
"Please, no. Just... please."
"Alright, fine. You win. I'll think about something else.", Yin said. "How about we think about... what others think of you?"
Blu began to feel the familiar feeling of dread and fear crawling up his feathers. "No... just-"
"You know how I just said "Who knows what other birds say about you in general"?", Yin interrupted, his once taunting smirk completely gone, replaced by a cold, uncaring stare.
Blu couldn't move or say anything. He just looked at Yin, his breathing becoming louder.
"I know what they say about you. They say you're not good enough, and they're right. I also know that they say a few other things about you... some choice words."
He paused, his voice becoming quieter, colder, and more sinister.
"You know what those words are... those same five words that loop in your head... the five words that perfectly summarize who you are, and what you are...", Yin said, his voice becoming a mere whisper as he trailed off.
Blu shook his head, trying to shut Yin out. "Stop, not those words. I'm not listening to you.
Yin got angry at this, but still had a smirk on his beak. "To be honest, Blu... I'd tell you that you're a good listener, but I don't believe that to be true. Not anymore, at least. Do you know why?"
Blu shook his head. "Uh, no, but honestly, I don't care. Just-"
"Because, when I tell you that you're an absolute embarrassment of a macaw who others would be better off without... I mean it, but you don't listen. When I tell you to give up, you still don't listen. You try to keep yourself around, and act like you're not Blu. You like to stare at your reflection, whether it's in a glass window or a river, expecting something to change. It won't. You're still Blu, no matter how much you dislike it."
Blu went quiet as his body began to shake in confusion and anxiety as he realized what Yin was saying. He was repeating what he had said in Blu's dream, where Yin was acting as a therapist.
Blu, on the verge of a panic attack, managed to splutter a few words out. "H-...how did you..."
"I said I can't read other bird's minds, Blu. I didn't say anything about yours. Remember... I'm the yin to your yang. You're Blu... I'm Blu. Same body, same everything... same mind."
"...So that's what you take notes of. You take notes of how to mess with me."
Yin smiled devilishly.
"Bingo. You know, Blu... I'm disappointed in you, honestly. I figured if there was one thing you were good at, it would be listening to others."
Yin turned around and began to walk away, but stopped once he reached the ledge of the entrance.
He didn't turn around, but Blu knew he was thinking of something to say.
"I guess I expected too much from you. I should've known. You can't do anything right."
Just as Blu was going to respond, he heard a quiet, calm feminine yawn coming from his nest, and after a few seconds, heard the noise of talons hitting the floor.
Yin turned his head to the noise. "Oh, Jewel's awake."
He turned back to Blu, his uncanny smirk back on his beak. "Maybe I'll stay for this one."
"No... no." Blu stuttered quietly, as he hushed Yin and tried to shove him out of the hollow. "Out, out, out. Go away, and don't come back!"
He couldn't move him, no matter how hard he tried. Yin just stood there in place, and began snickering to himself. "Nope. Not gonna happen. Besides, she can't see me anyways."
Blu instantly stopped pushing. "Oh... right."
"Geez, you really do suck at listening.", Yin said, continuing to snicker quietly, as he hopped off the ledge and walked into the hollow, placing himself in a corner as he watched Blu.
Blu wanted to glare at him, but instead, found himself quickly panicking before turning to the direction of the talons, and saw Jewel walking into the room, her eyes barely open, her cerulean feathers as bright as always, contrasting greatly with the brown wooden walls behind her.
"Uh... g-good morning, Jewel. My love...", Blu stuttered.
She took a quick look at Blu and yawned, a tired smile forming on her beak at the sight of her lover. "Good morning, honey.", she said as she walked over to Blu and gave him a gentle kiss on his beak.
Blu, who was normally more than calmed down by something like this, found himself still roughed up as their beaks met.
Once their beaks separated, Jewel began to frown. "What time did you wake up? You went to bed early yesterday."
"Uh... I woke up a few hours ago. I've just, uh... been flying around.", Blu lied, not wanting to tell her about his interactions with Bia or Yin.
"Liar.", Yin said, faking a cough. "Why don't you tell her about me?"
Blu looked at Yin, his eyes unable to send the daggers he wanted, but rather, a bit of a frightened look. Yin, however, seemed unfazed by it.
"That's not good.", Jewel said, not noticing Blu's look of anxiety to a seemingly blank corner. "Macaws aren't supposed to be up all night and sleep during the day. We're not bats, silly.", she teased.
Blu faked a small laugh. "Yeah, yeah, I know. But don't worry, I'll get a good night's rest tonight.", he smiled, before turning to the sun, which was still rising.
"Should I ask her if she wants to watch the sunrise?", Blu asked himself, as he heard Yin begin to laugh.
"Don't bother, she's going to say no."
"What? Why would she say no?"
"I'm telling you, she will."
The two voices began to argue, with one arguing from the corner of the hollow, and the other arguing from Blu's mind.
"Blu?"
As soon as Blu heard Jewel say his name, the internal arguing stopped, and Blu shifted his attention over to Jewel. "Yes, Jewel?", he asked, trying to hide his growing discomfort.
"Can I ask you something?"
Blu just responded with a blink.
"Um, yeah. What is it?"
Jewel paused for a brief moment. "About yesterday... about what the hyacinth told you."
Blu felt uneasy, his once omnipresent discomfort beginning to show. "Uh, yeah... what about it?"
"I can tell that it's not easy for you to talk about.", she began. "But... how do you feel?"
"Yeah, Blu.", Yin said, standing in the corner of the hollow. "How do you feel?"
Blu couldn't do anything but think back to his therapy dreams, the question echoing in his mind.
"Hide it."
Blu just shrugged and faked a smile. "Oh, Jewel. I feel, uh, great! I feel great.", he nodded awkwardly.
"...Are you sure?", Jewel asked, uncertainly. "If it's bothering you, or-"
"Why would it bother me? How could I be bothered?", Blu asked nervously. "As a matter of fact Jewel," he began, "I bet we could fly over to the Bahia forest, ask birds who live there if they've seen him, and end up finding him, today or tomorrow. That's how confident I am! I have nothing to be bothered about."
"She knows you're lying. You're an awful mate.", Yin called from behind him.
Blu seemed to pay no attention as he smiled nervously at Jewel, waiting for a response.
"Blu, tell me how you really feel. I know that's not the truth."
"It is the truth. I promise."
Jewel began to feel a little frustrated. "Seriously, Blu. Why won't you just tell me? You know you can tell me anything, so why are you lying to me?"
"Lying? Wh- I-I'm not lying!", Blu said, becoming defensive.
"Told you you're a liar. And a hypocrite too." Yin stated.
"And besides, why are you getting angry with me? I already told you the truth!", Blu said, ignoring Yin's remark.
"You didn't tell me the truth, that's the thing!", Jewel cried, raising her voice.
"I did! W-what else do you want from me, huh? Is the truth not good enough?", Blu responded, beginning to feel angry himself.
Jewel went silent for a few seconds, her expression turning from mild anger to a look of sadness.
Blu felt his own anger quickly turn into guilt, noticing Jewel's reaction.
"Nice going, jerk."
He let out a small breath. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to get angry."
"Yeesh. I bet you two will be together forever!", Yin shouted sarcastically.
Blu began to panic, his voice became weak, knowing he had messed up. "I'm sorry. I really am."
Jewel seemed defeated. "I know you didn't mean to. It's just... I feel like you've been acting different lately. I'm not just talking about this whole... parent thing."
Blu didn't say anything as he let Jewel keep talking.
"I'm talking about the Amazon too.", she began. "Ever since the logging incident, there were days where you wouldn't leave the nest, some days you wouldn't talk to anybody except me or the kids..."
She stopped.
"I know you're a shy bird, Blu. But completely avoiding interaction, and purposely trying to hide from others? It's not like you."
Blu could tell Jewel was looking him directly in his eyes, but was too scared to look back. Instead, he looked at the pink flower that resided next to her eye, trying to notice the details in it, as he awkwardly avoided looking at her diamond-blue colored eyes.
"Can't even make proper eye contact.", Yin scoffed, beginning to laugh to himself. "Pathetic."
"And another thing.", Jewel said, her voice becoming quiet. "Every time that I've brought this up to you... you dismiss it, as if it doesn't matter. As if I can't see that's something's wrong."
She placed a wing around Blu, raising her eyes to purposely meet his own, noticing what he was doing.
"Blu... all I'm trying to do is help you. You're my mate, and the only bird who I love... I love you and I care about you and how you're feeling. I want you to tell me what's going on."
"Just tell her."
As soon as Blu began to contemplate it, he instantly heard a noise coming from the corner behind him. "That's a bad idea... think about these possible outcomes."
Blu began to quickly think of scenarios in his head, all ending with something he didn't like.
"Alright, fine... I... I've been in a rough spot recently... I've just been really sad, becau-", he would say, before he was abruptly stopped by a reaction.
One was full of laughter, another one full of anger and criticism, a third one where she just walked away, and so on.
Blu shook these thoughts off, scared for them to become reality. "Jewel, I absolutely swear. There is nothing going on.", he said blankly.
"But-"
"Everything is fine, okay? Now, if you'll excuse me,", Blu began. "I'm tired. I'm gonna go take a nap. Good night, honey.", he said, kissing her on the beak, before quickly turning around and heading to the nest.
Jewel just sighed as she shook her head. "Blu."
Blu turned around, a grin on his beak, not wanting to ignore her. "Yes, honey?"
She considered asking him again. "Don't do that.", she thought. "It's going to make him uncomfortable."
"After you wake up... do you really want to fly to Bahia and try to meet him? Your father?"
Blu paused. "Oh, uh, yeah! Yeah, I... I do want to try and find him.", he said, trying to ignore an oncoming nervous breakdown. "We'll go later, alright honey? Love you.", he finished, as he turned back around and quickly walked back into the nest, his talons quickly tapping against the surface, before they trailed off as Blu disappeared.
Jewel just sighed again, as Blu instantly laid down in the nest. Once he closed his eyes, he was automatically asleep, weary from Yin's bothering.
After a few minutes, however, he slowly opened his eyes to find himself staring at the ceiling. He looked down, and saw that he was no longer in the nest, but in the same bird-sized psychiatrist's couch that he was becoming familiar to.
"Oh, this again.", he mumbled. He raised the upper half of his body and turned over to the bird-sized chair that Yin normally sat in.
Once his eyes met the chair, Blu yelped and jumped back, now fully aware of his surroundings. "Ah! Wh-what the hell are you doing here?!", he cried.
Yin, who normally resided in the chair taking notes of Blu's problems, had been replaced by the pitch-black bird who Blu had seen in his nightmare, holding the same off-white colored and red-lined notepad. The figure didn't say anything as it lowered the notepad and turned to Blu, not saying a word.
"...Well?"
Silence.
"Where's Yin?", Blu asked, before he corrected himself. "Actually, I don't want to talk to Yin anymore. Don't answer that.", he said as he let out a nervous laugh as the bird in front of him remained silent. "Heh... well, I'm guessing you weren't going to answer that anyways."
After a few seconds, the bird slowly began to write on the notepad. Once it was done, it flipped it over so that Blu could see what it had written.
"Do you know what I am?", Blu repeated as he looked at the paper. "Um, no... and to be honest, I don't know if I want to know."
The bird turned the paper and quickly wrote another sentence, before he showed Blu the paper again.
"I am what you are afraid of."
Blu gulped, before he slowly got off the couch and began to distance himself between the figure, becoming uncomfortable. "Uh, listen, I don't want any trouble. Okay? So can we just, uh..."
Before he could finish his plea, the bird turned the page and began to write another sentence, before showing it to Blu again.
"Why did I come back?"
Blu stared at the paper, unsure of what it meant. "Uh, wh-... what do you mean?"
The bird pointed to the couch, instructing Blu to lie back down, before writing again on the notepad. It flipped the notepad over again, and Blu read the message.
"I am your fears. I am "not being good enough". I am the thought of Jewel leaving you, what others think of you... but above all, I am loneliness. I am an amalgamation of all of them. Even more physical things, like spiders.", Blu said, as the figure turned into a silhouette of a bird into that of a spider.
Blu jumped back. "Ah! Don't do that, change back!", he said, backing up into a corner as he began to panic.
Once the figure turned back into a bird, Blu's panic disappeared, and began to inch closer back to the couch. "Okay, thank you... so, I think I get what you mean. You're asking... why did my fears come back?"
It nodded.
"...I would say they came back after the loggers.", Blu responded. "When I started feeling like crap every day, when I started feeling depressed."
The bird began to write again. "And why did you start feeling like crap? Why did you start to feel depressed?"
Blu contemplated answering, before he let out a deep breath. "After the logging incident,", Blu began, "For a couple days, everybody treated me like a hero. Everybody had accepted me, and then out of nowhere... it all stopped."
He paused.
"I don't care about being praised as a hero. It was never about that... I never did it for recognition, I did it because it was right, I did it for my family. What I do care about is that once the praise stopped, everything began to go back to how it was when I first arrived. Eduardo went back to hating humans, and it felt like that judgmental side of him came back, Roberto was still flirtatious, and everybody went back to ignoring me. No matter how hard I tried, they acted like I wasn't there. Whether it was stuff like futbol matches, or dancing and singing... even simple group conversations and meetings."
He paused again.
"Think of it like this. You're in a group, and you're trying to say something, and nobody looks at you. Nobody even glances. It's like you're invisible. It hurts."
His voice became weak and quiet.
"It's either... I get treated like I'm not there, and have to slip away from the group without them noticing, or... I get completely kicked out and laughed at, like what would happen in Minnesota."
Blu felt a tear begin to form in his eyes, but he quickly wiped it away, trying to hide it. "Sorry... I've, uh... got something in my eye."
He looked at the black silhouette, who seemed to be paying attention, and wasn't writing anything down. It just nodded, which invited Blu to continue.
"It happened over and over. And after that, I realized... I'm never going to be like them, and I'll never fit in. They'll never fully accept me, like all those birds back in Minnesota told me. I'm not a proper bird, and I never will be... I'm the bottom of the barrel."
He stopped and took another breath.
"Once I learned that, I realized I'm not good enough. I will never be good enough, and it's not going to change. Those birds in Minnesota were right, Yin's right... I don't know why I even bother. There's no point. My whole life, I've been told I'm not good enough for anybody. And if Jewel ever realizes that, she's gone. I think she's gotten hints of it, but if she fully realizes that now? After coming back to the jungle, meeting a whole tribe of other spix macaws? The whole thing about saving our species is out of the window, so she wouldn't have a reason to be with me anymore."
He began to slowly tap one of his talons against the floor in a familiar pattern, as he thought of what else to vent about.
"I mean, what quality do I have that other birds don't? For example... Rafael is smart and wise, Pedro is a good singer, Tiny's charming, Roberto is all of the above, random scarlet macaws from the scarlet tribe have better qualities... I mean, even Nigel has strength over me. Every single bird I've ever seen is better than me, and better at something. Like I said... bottom of the barrel. I can't think of one good quality I have."
Blu began to feel angry with himself.
"For example... I couldn't fly until three years ago, so I'm still not good at it, I have no idea how to have a conversation with a stranger, my beak isn't sharp enough, I'm weak, nerdy, I have an annoying voice, I'm slightly chubby for an average macaw...", he trailed off as he angrily pushed himself up from the couch with his wings and began to pace around it.
"How would anyone like that be good enough for the most beautiful, lovely, kindest spix's macaw to ever grace this green Earth? Or how about their amazing children? Somehow, me and my pitiful, stumbling, anxiety-ridden tail feathers ended up with that same perfect spix's macaw who gave life to those perfect kids. A perfect mother and children with the least perfect father possible."
Once Blu finished his ranting, he caught his breath and laid back down, his short legs and talons resting on top of his tail feathers as he folded his wings over his stomach, the feathers on his back hitting the soft cushion underneath.
"I'm sorry for ranting... I just had a lot on my mind. I don't want Jewel to see those qualities and leave me... not to mention, the kids will realize that too and find solace in another macaw, who will be a much better father. I'll lose them all. I'll be alone... and I don't want that. That's where you came back, and that's why you... exist, I guess.", he finished, as a dismayed frown appeared on his beak.
After a few seconds, the bird picked up the notepad and began to scribble on it again, the black ballpoint pen gently pressing against the white paper, between the red lines. The bird once again turned it over so Blu could read it.
"Do you want Jewel to leave you?"
Blu's look of dismay became a look of nervousness as he began to stress. "No! No, of course not! I love her, and... I don't know what I'd do without her."
It began to write again.
"Then why do you refuse to tell her?"
Blu took a few seconds to answer. "Because... it will make me look weak. No other macaws have this problem. It'll make me look like I don't care about her or the kids, and that I'm going to be unhappy forever. All the things I just mentioned, mixed with this... my depression will be the last straw. She'll realize I have no redeeming qualities on the outside or the inside. Then she will understand why others say I'm not good enough, and then leave me."
Blu paused for a moment, thinking back to a prior conversation he had with Yin.
"But... Yin also said that if I don't tell her, I'm going to push her away, and she's still going to abandon me regardless... I mean, he hasn't been wrong about anything yet. I don't know what to do.", he said quietly to the bird.
Scribble.
"You need to tell Jewel. You need to open up."
The bird turned the page, writing a new sentence.
"You know she's not cruel. She loves you. She just wants to help, yet you hide behind me and listen to Yin. Don't you know he's your enemy? He is your depression and anxiety. He is not helping you, he's making it worse. Why do you listen to him?"
Blu thought for a moment, before the bird began to write again.
"Don't you remember what he told you last night?"
Blu nodded. "Yeah, I remember... that was dark. I never thought it would get to that point."
cw: mentions of suicidal thoughts below
"You CAN deal with it yourself."
Blu continued to stare at the river, ignoring Yin's introduction. "No hello, huh?", he murmured.
"You don't need a hello. You know who I am, that's why you're not even looking up. But... I need you to do that. I need you to look at me, I have something important to tell you."
After a few seconds, Blu slowly raised his head and looked at the other side of the small river stream, where Yin was standing.
"Do you feel good about yourself? Making-"
"Does it look like it?", Blu responded, annoyed. "No, of course I don't feel good about that! My daughter was about to cry, because of how worried she was! I can't keep hiding from this. My family is clearly worried about me, and-"
"I wouldn't say you can't keep hiding, you just don't want to. But, hey, I have a solution."
Blu's annoyed look became a curious one. "And... what would that be?"
"Give up."
Blu rolled his eyes as his annoyed expression quickly came back. "Yeah, you've already told me that, but I honestly don't know what you mean. I'm just going to assume you're rambling."
"Okay, let me simplify it. You don't want Jewel to leave you... so instead, how about you leave Jewel?"
"What, like... divorce her? No way! I love Jewel, I would never do that!"
"No, I don't mean divorce, dummy. I mean..."
Yin pointed a wing to the end of the river stream, which led into a pond, as the pond itself led into a waterfall. Yin flew over to the edge of the rocks next to it and peered over, where the current gushed crystal water into the nearby ocean. Blu stayed behind, watching what Yin was doing. "Uh... what are you-"
"Sure is a steep drop from up here."
He turned back to Blu. "Maybe you got sucked into the water, and couldn't get out in time. Maybe you slipped on the wet rocks and hit your head... or maybe, you couldn't handle your miserable existence anymore, and didn't fly off the edge... but rather, you jumped off."
Blu's eyes widened as Yin said that. "Woah, woah, woah... are you suggesting...?"
"That's exactly it."
He stared at Blu silently, waiting for a response, as Blu looked at the edge of the waterfall. He turned back to Yin. "But... wouldn't my family miss me? Or Linda?"
Yin shook his head. "No. Jewel would find a new, better mate who would be a better father to the kids. Linda has a family of her own at this point, and your friends would find a new bird to take your spot. They're all better off without you."
Yin flew back and landed in front of Blu in the river, making no noise as his talons splashed in the stream.
"You are nothing. And deep down, you know that too."
Blu gulped as he considered what Yin was saying.
"Okay, think about this.", Yin began. "You want me to go away, don't you?"
Blu nodded slightly.
"Well, here's your chance. If you do this, I go away, forever."
"...Uh, yeah, but that's only because I would be dead."
"So? Look, you hate me as much as I hate you. Not to mention, it's not just us who would benefit from this. Think of your family... you don't want them to worry about you anymore, right?"
"Y-yeah, but..."
"But nothing. It's selfish for you to keep them from getting what's best for them... and what's best for them, is not you. What's best for them is for you to end your life. It will be a blessing for them in the end."
Blu gulped, becoming nervous. "I... I don't know."
"Have I ever been wrong, Blu?"
"...No."
"Alright then. Why not?"
Blu didn't say anything as he turned away from Yin and stared at the waterfall, listening to the current.
"Not sold, huh?", Yin asked. "Okay, but think about it. Keep it in the back of your mind..."
"...C-can we, um, talk about something else now..? Please?"
"Sure. I've actually got a few questions to ask you..."
Blu stared at his talons at the end of the couch. "...That was the first time it's ever been brought up. I had never considered it before, but Yin..."
He trailed off, beginning to zone out, before the figure snapped his talons, which brought Blu's attention.
"It doesn't have to get to that point. You can get help, you can talk to Jewel. You're comfortable talking to a physical form of what you're supposed to be afraid of, but you can't do it to the one who loves you the most. Why?"
"Well... because this isn't reality.", Blu responded. "You're not... real? Not in the way Jewel is, at least. And besides, what is this place to begin with? I get it's supposed to be a therapy session, but that barricade over there..." Blu trailed off as he raised his wing and pointed it to the hole in the room, which was a darkness that couldn't be moved.
"Last night, or... last time I was asleep, I tried to leave and that hole blocked me, but when everything froze, that hole became my vision. Once I walked over to it, I woke up in reality. I'm guessing I'm asleep in reality, but I feel awake right now... what state am I in?"
The bird scribbled a response.
"It's kind of like a sleep paralysis place. Yin created it."
Blu became suspicious. "Yin created this? Why?"
More writing.
"Because, Yin wanted to get to understand your emotions better. He wanted to understand how to better mess with you and your mental state. He also created that nightmare that I was in... sorry about that."
Blu stayed silent as he read the page, staring at it for a good twenty seconds, before he let out a deep exhale.
"Of course he did... I realized it earlier that he took notes on how to make my anxiety worse, but I didn't know where this place came from."
The bird nodded.
"I have to ask... why are you helping me?", Blu wondered, looking at the bird.
The bird jotted down a few sentences.
"Because, fear is a real thing. It's not an enemy, everybody has a fear. It's not something that should be abused by psycho inner demons like him. Yin is using me to mess with you, and I don't appreciate it."
"Where is Yin now? I mean... earlier he said we share the same mind, and-"
Blu glanced at the figure, stopping in his tracks. "Wait. Wouldn't that mean he knows this is happening?", Blu asked quietly.
"You're absolutely right.", came a voice.
Blu's eyes darted over to the corner of the room, where Yin had appeared. "The exit was blocked off.", Yin said, as he walked over to the figure and glared at him silently for a few seconds before he opened his beak.
"What the hell do you think you're doing?!", he shouted at the bird, as Blu flinched and was taken aback by the volume of Yin's voice. "You're supposed to help me, not him!"
Blu got up from the couch and began to back away from Yin, a little nervous of how angry he was. Yin instantly turned his body around and looked at him. "You stay there!", he shrieked, as he pointed his wing at him.
"Okay, okay, relax!", Blu yelped.
Yin snatched the notepad and began to flip through the pages.
"Are you kidding me?!", he yelled, as he began to rip the pages up. "You come with me!", Yin commanded, as he stormed out of the room, quite literally dragging the shadow behind him. Blu couldn't do anything but stand there awkwardly, unsure of what was happening. Eventually, Yin and the silhouette reached the exit and travelled through it, completely vanishing.
Blu tried to follow, but his beak hit an invisible barricade, which prevented him from leaving the room.
"Ow.", Blu murmured as he rubbed his beak with his wing. He looked back at the hole, not sure what it meant.
"How did he... he just said the entrance was blocked, but he walked through it...", Blu thought to himself. Instead of trying to figure out where the two had gone, he simply shook his head and sighed and laid back down on the couch, and tried to fall back asleep.
After a few minutes of tossing, and turning, and reorganizing his body in anyway possible, Blu let out an annoyed sigh as he opened his eyes, aware that he still wasn't in reality.
"Cannot sleep. Fantastic. The one time I want to wake up, and I can't.", he grumbled to himself. He got up from the couch and walked over to the chair, where a bunch of ripped up papers resided on the floor surrounding it, with the notepad left behind.
Blu turned and began to scan the room, searching every inch and centimeter to make sure Yin wasn't there, before turning back around and beginning to pick up the papers and notepad with his talons and beak, organizing them into a pile on the chair. He began searching through them, separating ones that belonged to the shadow, and the ones that belonged to Yin.
"Oh, wait...", Blu said, staring at all the ripped up papers on the chair. "Yin clearly wouldn't rip up his own notes.", he said, picking up the notepad and flipping through it.
"Taking notes, huh? Alright then, let's see.", he said as he began to flip through blank page after blank page. Blu sighed angrily. "God, still nothing? What, was the pen not working?"
He continued to turn page after page, hoping for even a smidge of writing, but found nothing. Blu tossed it in frustration, exhaling deeply. "Oh, what the hell... this is pointless, it's all pointless.", he said to himself, before his amber eyes caught something in the middle of the floor.
The pen.
"Oh, maybe it's like a magic pen, and I can only see the writing if I'm using it!", he smiled, as he picked up the pen and placed it in his beak, before walking back over to the notepad and picking it up, as he turned around and laid back down on the couch.
"Alright, Yin. No more taking notes." He flipped the page, grinning widely, before he was greeted with another blank page as his smile instantly dropped.
"Damn... that was stupid."
Blu began to ponder to himself, staring at the blank notepad, the pen still clutched in his beak. "I think... I think I should write down and practice what to say to Jewel. I can't keep doing this... I can't keep hiding, it's getting really bad now. She obviously just wants to help. I'm just making things worse... as usual. I'm causing my family to worry."
He began writing down possible ideas of how he would open up to Jewel, and when he would do it.
"When I wake up? No, no... I already said we're going to Bahia, so... I'll do it tonight, after Bahia? If we're still there tonight, then when everyone else is asleep. Yeah, yeah, that sounds good. Now, what to say... I should probably start with what Yin suggested to me."