Fransesca never imagined she would be returning to Bridgerton House only 6 months after leaving. She never imagined that she would be accompanied by Michaela Sterling who had quickly become a close confidant, despite their differing personalities. And she never could have imagined that her husband would have a riding accident that would leave her a widower at such a young age. Nothing seemed to be working out in a way that frankly made any sense to her at all.
It had only been 3 weeks since John's passing and Fransesca still felt numb. Her dear and kind John was no longer in the world. It was an odd feeling. On one hand, the man she loved and her closest friend was snatched from her far too soon. But on the other hand, they really had only known each other less than a year. If she was being honest, although the loss was great, she wasn't experiencing the grief she felt was expected of her. And that made her feel more guilty than she could stand. John deserved a grieving wife. But all she really felt was numb.
Michaela, obviously realizing her friend was lost in thought as she stared out the carriage window, reached over to grab her hand to gain her attention. Fransesca jumped slightly at the contact, so lost in thought that she barely remembered she was traveling with someone. Michaela's hand felt warm and caring in hers. She truly had been such a great support since they were given the news. Fransesca locked eyes with John's cousin and gave her a small smile, it was all she could muster but she hoped that it would help alleviate her concern.
Michaela finally shattered the silence between them, "Will you be glad to see your family? Sorry that is a silly question. Of course you are, they are your family.". Fransesca let out a faint laugh at the awkwardness of her friend. Michaela Sterling was filled with charm and effortlessness. So it was rather cute to see her flustered with how to handle the situation. Michaela smiled wide at the small sound that had escaped Francesca's lips. It had been too long since she had heard the musical tones of her laugh and she had very dearly missed it. Making Francesca laugh had quickly become one of Michaela's most important duties in life, and she did not care if it was at her expense or not. She gave her friend's hand a small squeeze of support, and was surprised when the Bridgerton woman leaned over and placed her head on her shoulder.
If there was one thing Michaela had learned in her time with Francesca, is that she did not show vulnerability easily. She was a proud woman of quiet nature, who tended to stoically handle all matters. Michaela admired her nature, but it did make her protective of her friend, who she still hadn't fully figured out how to support in her time of need. That is why she and John had made such a good match. They just seemed to understand each other and what they needed. It was really quite a beautiful sight to see the subtlety of their relationship and how they loved each other in such simple and quiet ways. Their home was truly a place of solace and comfort to Michaela, which is why she had spent so much of the last 6 months drawn to their estate. And with John's passing, Michaela vowed to return the favor to her cousin's wife and be the solace she needed while she dealt with the loss of her husband.
Francesca's new position on Michaela's shoulder was seemingly the comfort she hadn't realized she needed. She could feel herself becoming more grounded and at ease by just her mere presence. The warmth of her hand in hers had become a familiar sensation to the women, who had always been quite close with their physical touch. This intimate connection started early on in their time in Scotland.
4 months a go
Michaela arrived to the Kilmartin castle to stay with her friend while John was out on a hunt. Although Francesca did like her alone time, she didn't truly like being isolated at the castle, so John had asked her to come keep his bride company while he was away. Eloise had left on a trip with Benedict shortly after her arrival, realizing that Scotland, although beautiful, was really far too deserted for her and she was craving a more grand adventure.
When Michaela arrived to the castle, she walked into the salon to see Francesca wiping tears away from her eyes at her piano with vigor, trying to regain her composure before she could notice. Michaela swiftly moved over to the piano, sat down on the bench beside her friend, and placed her arm around her. Trying to lighten the mood as she so often did she said "My sweet Francesca, surely your playing wasn't that atrocious. I am sure it was better than you think.". Francesca let out a laugh between her ragged breaths, but attempted to pull away from Michaela's arm so that she could put up her walls again. As she tried to leave the piano bench, she caught the petite woman's hand in hers and held her in place. The jolt of electricity they shared surprised them both as they made eye contact. Michaela always felt warm under Francesca's gaze but there was no time to analyze this as she needed to find out what was troubling her friend. Michaela stood up and grabbed her other hand and held her close while she said "I am sorry for my lack of decorum, I am always insensitive, preferring humor to deeper emotions. But please my friend, tell me what troubles you so. I hate to see you in this way.". Francesca's tears ran harder as she placed her head on Michaela's chest and cried into her dress. After a few minutes of holding the smaller woman, her cries ceased and she pulled back. And in all of a moment, her composure had returned. Francesca sniffled, and cleared away her tears with an unsteady hand as she broke the news, "I had missed my monthly, and got my hopes up that I may be with child, but today it has returned. And I know that it is foolish to feel so upset about something that wasn't even real, I just thought...". She kept her eyes trained on the ground as she trailed off so as not to fall apart again.
Michaela quickly crushed the smaller woman against her in the biggest hug she could muster. She knew how much Francesca and John had wanted to start a family together. They had not been together long, and there would be plenty of time to have children, but Michaela's heart broke for her friend at this moment. They stood in each other's arms for quite a bit longer than most friendly hugs normally would. Michaela did not much feel like letting go. And as long as Francesca did not pull away, she wouldn't either. Her friend trembled in her arms, and Michaela realized just how tired she must be. She had an idea. She warmly spoke into the smaller woman's ear, "Come now, let us lie down on your bed, you must be exhausted. I will be your stand-in for your husband as support until he can return to you.". Francesca pulled back to look into her eyes. Michaela could not place the mixed emotions she found staring back at her. Francesca hesitated before saying "Is that appropriate? It is my marriage bed. I have never shared it with anyone but John.".
In truth, Michaela was not sure if it was appropriate, however she also did not care. She only sought to comfort her friend, and let her get the rest she needed. Michaela placed her hands on either side of Francesca's face and smiled warmly at her, "We are just good friends, Francesca, it is not as if you are lying with another man. And in the middle of wild Scotland, I do not think the people of the ton will catch word. Plus we have an in with Lady Whistledown, there is no need to worry. You need rest and I need to make sure you are okay for John. Now let us go, you are so tired I can tell.". Francesca was clearly very tired as she did not fight this logic. The pale woman led Michaela by her hand to her bedroom. What had seemed like a good idea, quickly felt more awkward once standing in front of the bed. They stood side by side staring down at the bed for a moment before Michaela cleared her throat, and sat down on the edge. She removed her shoes and swung her body to lay down. She held out her hand to invite the grieving woman to lay down next to her.
Francesca walked around to the other side of the bed and took her hand as she lay down. For a moment they lay there on opposite sides of the bed staring up at the ceiling. Michaela looked over to Francesca, who's eyes would not look back at her, and her breathing was still a little ragged. Michaela always being the bold one, finally inched her way over to the Bridgerton woman and placed her arm underneath her head. Almost on instinct, Francesca rolled into her side with her head resting on her shoulder. Her exhaustion very quickly consumed her and she fell asleep. Michaela did not dare break this moment at risk of waking the woman who so clearly needed her rest. And if she was being honest, she was relishing the feeling of laying next to her friend. Confusion was the best word for what she was feeling right now. Holding another woman was something she really had never done when she thought about it. She had laid with men on numerous occasions for very different reasons. She had heard of women who lay with other women but it was certainly not something a woman of such breeding as the one in her arms would have ever considered. But something about this experience was leaving the places where Francesca's body touched hers on fire. Michaela softly shook her head as if to physically shake the thoughts away before she also succumbed to sleep.
Ever since, the two women had shared an intimate connection that neither had ever experienced with their other female friends. But both arrived to the same conclusion that they must just be very close friends indeed. Michaela was startled from her thoughts as the carriage finally came to a halt. Francesca also seemed to wake from a stupor at that moment because she quickly removed herself from her place at her side and pulled away her hand. Michaela felt cold at the loss of touch. It seemed they had arrived at the Bridgerton Household.