The first thing Ren did upon arriving at the nearly empty classroom was take a cat nap. Momo often glanced at him in disapproval from the seat in front of him, though he didn't give enough of a shit to ever acknowledge it.

He only woke up when the sound of people shouting around him made sleep impossible.

"Take your feet off of that desk now!" demanded a familiar voice with a stick so far up his arse that it was probably poking the person he spoke to.

"Huh?" responded a mocking voice Ren had never heard before.

"It's the first day and you're already disrespecting this academy by scuffing school property, you cretin!"

"You're kidding me, right?" said whoever the mocking voice belonged to. "Did your old school shove a stick up your arse or were you born with it?"

Ren lifted his head from the school desk he'd been napping on and let out a loud yawn. He never paid much attention to his own yawning, so he had no idea that it was considered unusual for someone to sound like a meowing cat when doing so.

A boy he recognised as Ferrari Legs from the entrance exam turned to look at him. The spiky-haired blonde he was admonishing did the same, as did the rest of class.

"Bit too early in the morning for shouting, innit?" Ren rubbed the sand from his coppery orange eye with the back of his wrist like a cat swatting fleas off its face. His black cat tail gave a single wag before standing up behind him. "...Why is everyone staring at me?"

"...Cute!" shouted a chorus of three nearby girls.

One was pink with horns, another looked like a human frog, and the last one didn't look like anything at all on account of being invisible.

"Can I pet your tail?!" asked the pink girl.

"Can I touch your hair?!" added the invisible girl.

"You're really cute, ribbit!" said the frog girl, her puffy cheeks turning pink.

"...I guess?" said Ren, not sure how to process all the requests.

The three girls swarmed over to Ren. The pink one gently rubbed his slowly wagging tail while the other two took turns ruffling his fluffy black hair.

"It's so soft!" said the pink girl.

"Your hair smells nice too," added the frog girl.

"What shampoo do you use?" asked the invisible girl.

Ren merely shrugged in response. "No idea. Never bothered to remember the brand."

Momo huffed in annoyance from the seat in front of him. She turned around to face the three girls with a deadpan expression on her face.

"Don't let the cuteness fool you, ladies," she said. "This guy's a total arse."

Ren flipped Momo off, his cat tail flicking behind him. "Only an arse like me can deal with your shit, princess."

"Princess?" The pink girl darted her black-gold eyes between Ren and Momo. "Are you two dating?"

"Not a chance!" said Ren and Momo in perfect unison.

"He's my brother," said Momo.

"Adopted," Ren added. "Only started living with her last year."

An unbelievably obnoxious scream rang throughout the classroom. Ren and the girls turned around to look at its direction.

A boy even shorter than Ren himself with a bunch of purple balls for hair sat behind him staring at them. His teeth grinded against each other in apparent frustration and his eyes were somehow crying blood.

"You get to live with a busty hottie who isn't related to you?!" the tiny guy shouted while pointing an accusatory finger at Ren. "Not only that, all you did was nap and yawn a little cutely and you already have three more girls coming after you?! How the hell is that fair?!"

Ren blinked at the little guy.

Momo blinked at the little guy.

The three girls surrounding Ren blinked at the little guy.

"...The fuck is wrong with you?" Ren asked after a moment of silence, sounding halfway between disgusted and genuinely perplexed.

"Ignore him," said Ferrari Legs, who walked up to Ren. He moved his arm up and down as he spoke like a robot for some reason. "Anyways, my name is Tenya Iida from Somei Private Academy. It's a pleasure to meet you!"

Tenya held out his hand, and Ren gave it a hard shake.

"I'm Ren," he said before adding dryly. "From the School of Hard Knocks."

"I appreciate your joke!" said Tenya loudly in a stiff tone that was probably supposed to be cheerful. "But I'd still like to know which school you went to if you don't mind."

Ren shrugged.

"Never been to one," he said. "This is my first."

Everyone in the classroom turned to look at him.

"You've never been to a school before?" asked a girl with dark purple hair and earphone wires sticking out of her earlobes. "Like, ever?"

"How'd you learn to read and write?" asked a boy with spiky red hair.

"I'm self-taught," said Ren. "The internet helped."

"But you had to take the written entrance exam, right?" Tenya asked, sounding confused. "How did you pass?"

"Just because I didn't go to a fancy school doesn't mean I'm a dullard." Ren pointed a thumb at Momo. "The princess' family has a pretty big library, so I helped myself to it."

Ren wrinkled his nose upon noticing a new scent in the room. He turned around to see a freckled boy with fizzled green hair unsuccessfully trying to sneak into an empty seat. Everyone else's gaze followed him, and soon they were all looking at Freckles caught with his arse halfway into his seat.

"Uh-uh-uh hi everyone!" said Freckles, his face red from the sudden attention.

"Oh, hey, I remember you, Freckles." Ren's black cat tail gave a single wag at the familiar face. "How's the arm?"

The boy's shoulders slumped. He let out a sigh that seemed a mix of relief and exasperation.

"It's fine," he said. "Thank you for saving me."

"I didn't do shit," said Ren bluntly. "You should be thanking that brunette with the gravity quirk whenever she arrives."

"Uh, yeah." Freckles cleared his throat and straightened his back. "W-well, I'm Izuku Midoriya! It's nice to meet you!"

"And I'm Tenya Iida!" said Tenya beside Ren, moving his arm up and down like a robot for some reason.

"Yeah, I heard," said Midoriya politely, though he was clearly nervous.

"And I'm Momo Yaoyorozu," said Momo with a friendly smile. "Ren told me about you in the entrance exam. He said you were the bravest person he ever met."

"No, I said he was the ballsiest motherfucker I've ever had the dubious pleasure of seeing in action," said Ren before turning his attention back to Midoriya. "I quite frankly think you're a suicidal moron, but I can still respect the pair you got on you."

"Um, thanks, I guess?" said Midoriya. "You were amazing as well, Yaoyorozu-san."

"Oh, I don't share the princess' surname," said Ren. "Adopted, remember? My surname's Isshiki, but you can just call me Ren."

"Huh?!" the spiky haired blonde who Tenya had been chastising before suddenly stood up from his seat. "You're Ren Isshiki?!"

Ren raised an eyebrow at the guy.

"Uh, yeah, but just Ren is fine."

"You're the one who took the top spot in the entrance exam?!" the spiky-haired boy shouted, completely ignoring what Ren said. "A damn pussycat?!"

The black fur on Ren's tail bristled in annoyance. His voice turned low and the pupils of his orange eyes narrowed into sharp slits.

"Got a problem with that?"

"You wouldn't even be in the top ten if not for those damn rescue points!" The boy stomped over to Ren with fire in his red eyes. He pointed at Midoriya as he spoke. "Useless Deku over here is the only reason you're in the top spot! If his dumb arse didn't need you rescuing it then I would've become number one!"

"Oh, so you were second place," said Ren, causing the boy's eye to twitch. "What was your name again?"

"Katsuki Bakugou!" said the blonde boy, his spiky hair bristling like porcupine quills. "You might've been top of the entrance exam, but I'm going to be top of this class from now on! Got that you damn pussycat?!"

"Better a pussycat than a rabid dog, bitchboy," said Ren dryly. "You're a sore loser if I've ever seen one."

Bakugou slammed both hands on Ren's desk. "What did you say to me?!"

Ren crossed his arms and leaned back in his chair. He looked Bakugou dead in the eye as he spoke.

"You heard what I said, you hair-triggered twat."

"Why you!" Bakugou held up his hand, and miniature explosions sparked in his palm like firecrackers.

If that was supposed to be intimidating, Ren could say without hesitation that it failed miserably. He slowly got up from his seat. Though he was only five feet and some change, no fear showed in his eyes as he returned Bakugou's glare with one of his own.

"Kacchan, calm down!" said Midoriya.

"Yes, that's quite enough out of the both of you," Momo agreed. She shot Ren a disapproving glare. "Bakugou's being difficult, but you don't need to antagonise him so much either, Ren."

Ren flipped both Momo and Bakugou off-one hand for each of them. "Both of you can stick it where it fits."

A still scorching hot hand trembling with fury grabbed Ren by the necktie of his UA uniform.

"You damn pussycat," Bakugou growled, shaking Ren in place.

The three girls that had been fawning over Ren instinctually backed off, though they all glared at Bakugou with disapproving scowls on their faces.

"Hey, what do you think you're doing?!" shouted the pink girl.

"Teaching this damn pussy cat a lesson!" Bakugou shouted back, shaking Ren in his grip.

The fur on Ren's black cat tail bristled behind him. Calm adrenaline seeped through his entire body. He grabbed Bakugou's wrist, secretly tethering himself to his blazer as he did.

"Before you try anything…" Ren's voice was low but clear. The pupils of his feline eyes were like tiny needles as they studied Bakugou's face. "Ask yourself: Is this really worth it?"

"He's right, Kacchan!" said Midoriya. "Let's all just calm down, alright?"

"Yes, this is highly inappropriate!" Tenya agreed, his robot hands now balled into fists.

A chorus of agreement came from all around them, but Bakugou's grip remained on Ren's tie.

Momo stood up from her chair, her pretty face morphed into a furious frown.

"Let go of him, now!" She stomped over to them.

When she got too close, Bakugou raised his free hand at her, palm already glowing with the beginnings of an explosion.

"Stay out of this, ponytail girl!"

Momo didn't have time to react, but Ren did.

The moment he sensed the first sparks of an explosive reaction with his tethered radar, he teleported beside Bakugou, grabbed him by the wrist, and shoved his glowing hand at his own face.

The explosion went off, sending the one who caused it stumbling backwards.

Bakugou let out a small grunt of surprise where most people would've screamed or passed out. He evidently had some level of resistance to his own explosions, but Ren knew one thing he probably wasn't immune to.

Before Bakugou could regain his bearings, Ren kneed him hard in the groyne. He let out a squeaky wheeze that was quickly silenced when Ren grabbed him by his spiky blonde hair and slammed his face into the nearest table.

A small crack audible only to Ren's enhanced hearing came from Bakugou's face. He was fairly certain that it was the cartilage in his nose shattering. But in case it wasn't, Ren dropped a sharp elbow on the back of Bakugou's neck, slamming his face into the desk again.

Now his nose was definitely broken.

Ren grabbed Bakugou by the ears with clawed hands and dragged his face down against the tabletop, nearly tearing off his ears and leaving behind streaks of blood that presumably came from his nose. He only let go of Bakugou's bloody ears when his mouth was aligned with the edge of the table, at which point he kicked the back of the head against the edge in a messy impromptu curbstomp.

The force sent the table skittering away with Bakugou's staining the edges. Tenya, Momo, and Midoriya had to jump out of the way to avoid it slamming into them.

Bakugou fell towards the ground. He was somehow able to retain enough consciousness to cushion his fall with his hands.

Time to change that.

Ren shot his foot up between Bakugou's legs, hitting him square in the nuts. A high-pitched rasp of excruciating pain emanated from Bakugou but he still managed to stay on his knees.

Seeing that he wasn't literally laid out yet, Ren grabbed the chair behind him by the legs and smashed it down on Bakugou's spine. The back of the chair hit with enough force to finally flatten Bakugou on the floor.

But just for good measure, Ren kept beating him over the back with it again and again until their classmates finally recovered from the shock that'd gripped them in the past ten seconds.

"Ren, that's enough!" Momo grabbed Ren by the shoulders and pulled him away from Bakugou.

Half of the class rushed over to help her, but stopped when Ren casually set the chair down without further protest.

"Bitchboy started it," said Ren, his black cat tail flicking in casual indignance. "Not my fault he wasn't ready for the smoke after asking for it."

"You're not wrong but…" Momo looked at Bakugou's crumpled form, his battered face covered in blood, snot, and some tears. "Don't you think you went a little too far?"

"Nemo me impune lacessit. (No one provokes me with impunity.)" Ren gave Momo a hard flick on the nose that made her let go of him. "As far as I'm concerned, an attack on you is an attack on me."

A chorus of 'Awww!'s came from the girls around them, somewhat offset by the sound of Bakugou gargling in his own blood.

Midoriya rushed over to Bakugou on the ground, his hands hovering awkwardly over the broken boy's shoulders.

"Kacchan, are you-"

Bakugou swatted away Midoriya's hand and stood back up on shaky legs. His face was bruised, his front teeth barely held onto his gums, and his nose bent at two different places, yet the anger in his eyes were still clear as day.

"Damn pussycat!" he pushed away Midoriya when he tried to hold him back. "I'll kill you!"

"Don't make promises you can't keep, bitchboy." Ren took a single step forward and immediately felt Momo and the three girls from before hold him back by his blazer. "Lest I help put your balls where your mouth is."

"Bastard!"

Bakugou lunged at Ren but was held back by four boys that included Midoriya, Tenya, the red-haired boy, and a tall masked boy with multiple arms.

"Calm down!" shouted the red-haired boy.

"You need to go to the nurse's office!" Tenya added. "That nose looks broken!"

"I'm fine!" Bakugou said, spitting out one of his teeth as he did.

Ren made no attempt to break from the girls' grip but readied his foot for another crotch shot just in case. "If you want to get neutered so badly just say it."

Bakugou was about to reply when the sound of the classroom door opening stole everyone's attention. Ren's nose twitched at a familiar scent, accompanied by a not-so-familiar one.

"Oh, hey Newton." Ren turned to look at the round-faced brunette he'd met during the entrance exam. "Guess we're in the same class."

"Hey, I recognise you too!" said the brunette upon seeing him. "Also, it's Ochaco Uraraka! Nice to-"

Ochaco suddenly noticed Midoriya, Tenya, and two other boys holding down a battered but still very pissed off Bakugou.

"Uh, what's going on here?"

Ren pointed a finger at Bakugou. "He fucked around and found out."

"You just got the jump on me, damn pussycat!" Bakugou shouted, sending blood and spit into the air as he did. "I would've pummelled you in a fair fight!"

"Why the fuck would I fight fair then?" Ren asked bluntly before turning back to Ochaco. "Anyways, who's the sleepy bloke behind you?"

"Behind me?" Ochaco asked, confused. "What are you-ah!"

Ochaco jumped upon noticing the tired man behind her. He had long black hair, a face full of stubble, and laid in a yellow sleeping bag behind him like a caterpillar with a human face sticking out one side.

"Welcome to UA's hero course," said the person in the sleeping bag.

At that moment, a single thought shot through the minds of everyone there:

'What the heck are you?!'

The tired man slowly rose up with the sleeping bag still around him and unzipped it to reveal a plain black outfit with a single off-grey scarf around his neck for colour.

"You noticed me right away, well done," said the man as he folded his sleeping bag. "Hello, I'm Shota Aizawa. Your teacher."

'Teacher?!' everyone thought.

Aizawa's tired, bloodshot eyes drifted towards Bakugou. They hardened for a moment before closing as he sighed.

"First day of class and there's already trouble." She shook his head. "Whatever. I'll let it slide since this is the first day. Someone take that boy to the nurse's office."

"On it!" said the red-haired boy, who hauled Bakugou over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes.

Bakugou, who was already weak from the asskicking he just received, could do little but flail in his grip. He screamed and shouted the entire way out the door.

"Come to the field outside when you're done with him," said Aizawa to the red haired boy. He pulled out a gym uniform from his bag and held it up for the class to see. "The rest of you, put these on and follow me."

After everyone got changed in a dressing room, Aizawa led them all out into a large field. They all lined up neatly in front of him, including the red-haired boy who was covered in scorch marks no doubt given to him by an uncooperative Bakugou.

Aizawa looked at the class, dead-faced as ever. "Now that most of you are here, it's time for a quirk assessment test."

"What?!" shouted the class in unison.

"But we're going to miss the orientation!" Ochaco protested.

"If you want to make the big leagues, you can't waste your time on pointless ceremonies," Aizawa said plainly. "Here in UA, we aren't tethered to tradition. Which means I get to run my class however I see fit."

A chorus of shocked gasps came from the students.

While Ren had no real frame of reference, he could guess that this probably isn't what a first day at school is usually like.

Aizawa's tired bloodshot eyes made their way down the line until they settled on Ren.

"Ren Isshiki," he muttered, more to himself than anyone else. "You scored top of the entrance exam, right?"

"That I did." Ren's tail flicked side to side behind him at the acknowledgement.

"And you've never been to a school before this one?"

"That I didn't." Ren's tail stopped moving. "Is that a problem?"

"No, but all of your classmates have experience taking standardised physical exams while you don't." Aizawa glanced at the line for a fifty metre dash. "Let's start with something simple for you."

Aizawa led Ren to a set of white lines taped onto the concrete. A little robot of similar design to the ones he fought during the entrance exam was stationed beside the finish line, presumably to measure the runners' speed.

"Try to cross the finish line as quickly as possible," said Aizawa. "Feel free to use your quirk for it. Just stay within the line tape."

"Okay?" Ren crouched down and touched the line tape under him. "When do I start?"

"Listen for a gunshot."

Aizawa pressed something on the robot and stepped away to watch with the rest of the class.

"Runners, on your marks!" said the robot in a cheerful but stilted female voice. "Ready…"

The sound of a digital gunshot echoed from the robot. Ren instantly vanished in a puff of black smoke and reappeared behind the finish line, having tethered himself to the line tape.

A small beep came from the robot. "0.01 seconds!"

Ren's classmates erupted into incredulous gasps.

"Ren, that's cheating!" Momo shouted. "You're supposed to sprint across the track! It's called a 50-metre dash!"

"Oy, I was just doing what I was told." Ren put his hands on his hips. "Aizawa said to use my quirk. So I did."

"That you did," said Aizawa. "Well done."

"Wait, that's allowed?!" shouted a blond boy with black lightning-shaped highlights in his hair.

"Of course," said Aizawa. "All of you need to know your maximum abilities. So you'll all be taking these tests using your quirks. If you can get creative with it like Ren here, all the better. It's the most rational way to gauge your potential as a pro hero."

Surprise turned to excitement among the students.

"That looks like fun!" said the pink girl from before. "I want a go!"

"Now this is what I'm talking about!" chimed a flat-faced boy with weird duct tape elbows. "Getting to use our quirks as much as we want!"

"...So this looks fun, huh?" Aizawa's voice turned low. "You have three years here to become a hero. Do you think it's gonna be all games and playtime?"

The students' enthusiasm immediately dropped. Their shoulders slumped, eyes fixed on what their teacher had to say.

Aizawa's face twisted into a mocking smile.

"Idiots. Today you'll compete in eight physical tests to gauge your potential. The one who comes in last has none, and will be expelled immediately."

"Huh?!" The entire class erupted into terrified confusion.

Ren eyed Aizawa with suspicion, his cat tail completely still behind him. Then his gaze turned to Freckles, or rather Izuku Midoriya, who stared at their teacher like a deer in the headlights.

The poor, poor bastard.