John Phoenix was in his office as usual and it was another day of no Ace Attorney news.
That is, until a little red bird perched itself on John Phoenix's window.
"A Chinese account named Subo, which is the most followed there for Nintendo news, appears to be hinting at the appearance of Ace Attorney in Direct," said the bird.
"Is that so?" John Phoenix raised an eyebrow. "Care to explain?"
"I will Investigate It," said the bird.
Just then, everyone started screaming excitedly!
"Investigate? Investigations confirmed!" said a Yamazaki fan.
John Phoenix groaned. Still, he supposed it was acceptable for the bad games to be rereleased, just as long as the writing team didn't waste their time with a bad third entry. John Phoenix knew that for the past Phoenix-Wright's-Disbarment years they were working tirelessly on The Adventures of John Phoenix Game, and that is much more important than silly Edgeworth and his "logic."
The little bird spread his wings and prepared to fly away.
But then a big net appeared and caught him!
"Ha ha! Ha! We finally caught Pyoro!" said Nintendo.
"Kill him!" said Capcom.
"Objection! Not until he stands trial!" said John Phoenix.
The news had a field day with this. John Phoenix, defending a bird in court? Preposterous!
John Phoenix smirked. He was taking advantage of Capcom's embracing of the Yamazaki games to play by their rules (Yamazaki had Phoenix defend an orca in court, so this is fair game.)
"Court is in session for the trial of Pyoro!" said the judge. "Make your opening statement!"
"Yes Your Honor!" said Payne. "Pyoro leaked top secret information from the Nintendo Direct!"
"I see, but how?" said the judge.
Gumshoe came to testify.
===WITNESS TESTIMONY===
"Pyoro lives in Youtube HQ and can view Nintendo Directs before they're made public, that's how he knows about stuff early."
"OBJECTION!" shouted Pyoro! He presented 1 2 Switch. "1 2 Switch was not announced in a video therefore I could not have known about it!"
"That's what YOU say, worm," said Payne. "But I present this!"
Payne presented a newspaper article by d4rkm4ster4 that said "Ace Attorney Investigations 3 announced!"
John Phoenix was shocked! He can't let a third Dungvestigations game get made! But how did d4rkm4ster4 come to this conclusion, anyway?
John Phoenix called d4rkm4ster4 to the stand.
It was Dylan Fitchar! John Phoenix rolled his eyes into the back of his skull as the testimony began.
===WITNESS TESTIMONY===
"I'm not an insider, promise, I just heard it from Pyoro. He capitalized three Is in his tweet and III means 3. Half li I mean Investigations 3 confirmed!"
"OBJECTION!" shouted John Phoenix. "I present the clock!"
"What the shit is that?"
"Thank you for your deductions Dylan, for proving what Pyoro was actually claiming," smirked John Phoenix. "Now we'll find out if he was an insider or not... by waiting three minutes until the Direct happens!"
John Phoenix was right! It was 6:57 AM on June 18th PT, three minutes before the Direct!
"Get your clown make-up on fellas!" said the judge.
The Direct announced the Ace Attorney Investigations Duology! And there was no third game!
John Phoenix and Pyoro smirked at the foolish-looking Dylan Fitchar who was sweating buckets having realized his grave misassumption. The three Is were actually an I and an II, signifying a duology! But it was too late to revise his testimony now.
"DELETE YOUR ACCOUNT!" shouted John Phoenix and Pyoro.
Dylan Fitchar ran away!
"So you see, Your Honor," said John Phoenix. "Pyoro's prediction that AAI3 was NOT insider info, he is just a humble songbird posting his ramblings!"
"I see!" said the judge. "I declare Pyoro NOT GUILTY!"
"YAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!" everyone was so happy that Pyoro was saved and Investigations 3 was cancelled forever!
THE END