After Party
The morning after the all night Risk game, Jason took the boys out to breakfast at Bravo's favorite diner and then drove both JJ and Corey home before getting Clay back to the apartment to get some sleep before his regular Saturday afternoon appointment with Dr. Jeff. They arrived home just after nine in the morning, and Jason sent Clay off to his room to sleep until it was time to leave.
"Bed, shorty," Jason said firmly, pointing to Clay's room. "You've been up twenty-four straight hours. I want you in that bed, under the covers, sleeping until I wake you for your appointment."
"Okay," Clay yawned, looking beat. "When do we need to leave?"
"It's 9:15 now," Jason said, leading the clearly exhausted kid to his room. "I'm going to wake you at 2:00 so you can shower. Trent is picking you up at 2:30 so you can be downtown for your appointment at 3:00."
Clay crawled into his bed with no complaining, gently pushing Rocky over so that he could settle into his regular spot on the bed. Jason sat down by his side, rubbing the boy's back to help him settle quickly. The cat was snuggled up against Clay purring softly, and the kid was fading fast.
"Thanks Jase," Clay whispered softly. "That was the best birthday. And thank you for letting me keep Rocky. I promise I'll take care of him, and he won't bother you."
"Well Sunshine," Jason said, "Turns out you were right. Rocky and I bonded last night while you were partying with your boys. He's already growing on me, and your mean ol' Uncle Metal has offered to let Rocky stay at his place when Bravo is spun up if Derrick can't handle the furball."
"Really?" Clay mumbled almost out. "Metal said he would take care of Rocky? I'm gonna close my eyes, but don't leave yet okay?
"Okay, Sunshine," Jason said softly, continuing to rub his boy's back. "Not leaving until you are in dreamland."
"Love you," Clay whispered, finally passing out.
Jason stayed another half hour before standing quietly and bending to kiss his worn out kid's head. "Love you, shorty."
Later that afternoon, Clay trudged behind Trent into Dr. Jeff's office. He was still tired, and not anxious to get himself out of bed when Jason had woken him to say that he needed to shower and get ready. When they arrived in the waiting room of his psychologist's office, Trent went up to the receptionist to get the kid checked in while Clay sank down into one of Dr. Jeff's comfortable chairs. As always, Trent sat patiently reading the latest Time magazine while Clay met with his trusted doctor.
"Happy Birthday," Dr. Jeff had greeted the clearly worn out boy cheerfully. "You look like you might need a nap. How was the big day?"
"Thanks," Clay smiled. "It was really great. Even better than I expected. And thanks for helping Trent convince Jason to let me keep Rocky. He's been saying no way since Rocky started hanging around, so I know you guys must have worn him down."
Dr. Jeff chuckled. "Well, I think your Uncle Trent did most of the wearing down," he said. "I just told your dad that in my opinion having Rocky to keep you company at night or when he needs to go out might help you settle and feel less alone. What do you think?"
"I like having Rocky in my room at night," Clay said. "It's only been one night so far because last night I stayed with Corey and JJ at Derrick's apartment, but the night of my birthday, Rocky slept in my bed with me."
"Do you think having the cat helped you sleep more soundly?" Dr. Jeff asked.
"Having him near me makes me feel better," Clay said. "I still woke up once, and I started having a lot of thoughts at once like we talked about before. I tried to stay in my own bed and not bother Jason, but when I got up to use the bathroom he must have heard me walking around because he came in to check on me."
"How did you feel when your dad came to check on you?" Dr. Jeff said.
"Mostly I felt relieved," Clay said honestly. "Seeing Jason always makes me feel safe. But I also felt kind of nervous that I was bothering him. Like maybe he was thinking that he let me have Rocky so I should be able to sleep in my own room like a normal seventeen-year-old without waking him up."
"Hmm," Dr. Jeff leaned back in his chair. "Did your dad say that you were bothering him or that you should be able to sleep through the night?"
"No," Clay said softly, looking down at the carpet. "Jase never says anything like that to me. But sometimes I can't help wondering if that's what he's thinking."
"Have you asked him if he's bothered?" Dr. Jeff questioned calmly.
"No," Clay said, still not making eye contact. "I told him I was sorry for waking him up, but he just sat with me and said there was no reason to be sorry. He never gets mad at me when I can't sleep."
"Do you think he's not being honest with you?" Dr. Jeff asked.
"I don't know," Clay shrugged, looking up to finally make eye contact. "Jason doesn't lie to me, so I think he means it when he says I don't bother him. But I can't help but think that especially now, he's going to get tired of having to get up every night. And sick of having me sleeping with him so much. It's not like I'm a little kid anymore."
Dr. Jeff was quiet because Clay seemed to hesitate, and he wanted to see if he would continue on his own.
"And Jason isn't getting any younger either," Clay said, looking suddenly concerned. "Did you know he's almost fifty?"
"Are you worried about him getting older?" the doctor asked.
"Yeah. Kind of, I guess," Clay said. "When I was staying with Josh, back when Bravo was in Venezuela and I wasn't cleared for active duty yet, the support guys were talking about how Jason and Trent and Sonny are getting older. They said the old geezers can't run and climb as fast as they used to. And one of the guys said he hopes they are getting to bed early and eating healthy or they might drop dead on us."
"Do you think they were just teasing and trying to be funny?" Jeff asked. "Or did they seem genuinely concerned?"
"I'm not sure," Clay admitted. "I mean, they weren't talking to me. I was in the support cages because when Bravo was gone, I hung out with them in the afternoon before I went back to Josh's house. Tim, the support team leader, he made me lay down and rest on a cot because I wasn't feeling great and I was having trouble sleeping at night."
"So Tim was there for this conversation as well?" Dr. Jeff clarified.
"No," Clay said. "It was just the other support guys. Tim's head would explode if he heard them talking about the senior guys like that. Tim was at a meeting or something. The other guys were hanging out, cleaning their cages."
"And they thought you were sleeping?" Jeff raised his eyebrows at the kid.
Clay nodded. "I guess so," he said, knowing where this was going.
"So you were eavesdropping on them when Tim put you down for a nap?" Dr. Jeff chuckled. "And they were joking about Jason and the other senior team members getting old, not knowing that you were listening. And thinking they were safe to run their mouths because their boss was out of the room."
"Pretty much," Clay smiled.
"Do you think your dad and grumpy uncles can't keep up anymore?" Dr. Jeff asked.
"No way," Clay scoffed. "I mean, they can't run as fast as me or Brock, but they have never had any problems kicking ass and taking names. And the support guys are all intimidated by them - especially Sonny and Metal. They don't say anything but 'yes sir' to their faces."
"It sounds like just young guys fooling around and teasing," Dr. Jeff said. "But you are still worried?"
Clay nodded. He turned to look away, suddenly emotional and not wanting to start crying like a baby in front of Dr. Jeff for no good reason.
"I'm scared that maybe they are getting old," Clay said softly, wiping his eyes. "I don't want anything bad to happen to them. I love them so much."
Dr. Jeff reached over, handing the suddenly upset boy a box of tissues.
"Clay," he said gently. "I know it's been a really busy few days for you. And you looked pretty worn out when you came in today. Do you think maybe you are overtired from the birthday fun and maybe feeling overwhelmed? Or is this something you have been worrying about for a while?"
Clay wiped his eyes and tried to pull himself together.
"I guess maybe it's both," he admitted. "I was still tired when Jason woke me up today. And I feel tired now. But, I have been thinking about what's gonna happen when Jason and the other senior guys keep getting older. I don't want everything to change. And now I'm almost eighteen. I just don't know what's going to happen."
"Okay, Clay," Dr. Jeff said calmly, leaning forward and squeezing his knee gently. "Let's take a breath here. I hear what you are saying. And we've talked about you turning seventeen and your concerns about things changing as you get older. But kiddo, you just turned seventeen two days ago - so let's not fret about eighteen just yet."
The doctor paused to let that register with the exhausted kid.
"You are the exact same boy you were a few days ago," Dr. Jeff went on. "And as far as I understand from you, and what I've heard from Trent and Jason, and what I heard from Brock and Derrick when Bravo was away, absolutely nothing has changed. And as far as your place on your team or especially in your family, nothing is going to change in the near future."
"Are you sure everything is going to be okay?" Clay asked, looking to the older man for reassurance.
"Yes, Clay," Dr. Jeff said confidently. "You are going to be okay. Jason and your uncles aren't going anywhere as far as I know. Trent is where he is every Saturday afternoon. Just down the hall, reading my old magazines and waiting for his best kid. He's not going anywhere without you. Jason isn't going anywhere without you, and I'm pretty sure the rest of your team don't have any plans to take off without you either."
"So you think maybe I was listening to the support guys when I should have been minding Tim and sleeping," Clay said quietly. "And maybe I got what they were saying mixed up - or you're right and they were just teasing and I'm tired and getting anxious for no reason. Maybe because I've been worried about turning seventeen and things changing."
"Is that what you think, Clay?" Dr. Jeff asked.
"Maybe," he said, shrugging.
"I think that might be it, too," Jeff said. "But that doesn't mean we shouldn't talk about it, or your feelings aren't real or valid. And like always, son, if you talk to Jason or Trent or one of the other men you love and trust, they can help you better understand what's happening now, and what if anything is changing going forward. And we both know that they are always willing to listen to their favorite kid."
"Do you think I should ask Jeff or Kevin if they were just kidding about Jason and the other guys getting older?" Clay was clearly still concerned. "I know them the best because they were with me in the infirmary in Mexico. Or maybe I should see what Brock thinks."
"That's definitely something you could do," Jeff said. "And you could also just go straight to the source and tell Jason or Trent or Sonny how you are feeling. Is there a reason you don't want to do that?"
"I know this is stupid and makes no sense," Clay started. "But sometimes when I say something out loud, it's like it becomes real. And I don't want to talk about something bad happening to my family out loud."
"Okay," Jeff said, slowly. "First of all, nothing that is causing you to feel worried is stupid. And you aren't the only person who feels like saying something out loud might somehow make it real. A lot of people who are anxious feel that way. But, on the other hand, if you just keep it to yourself, and don't let the people who love and take care of you know how you're feeling, they likely won't know that you need help or reassurance."
"Do you think you could talk to Trent about it when he comes back to see you?" Clay asked hopefully.
Dr. Jeff smiled at him. "Sure," he said. "I can do that. And I can see that this is a big concern for you. But can you try something for me this week?"
"What?" Clay asked skeptically.
"Can you practice maybe once or twice talking to Jason or Trent or Sonny about something that you have been thinking about?" Jeff asked. "It doesn't need to be something big or scary. Just anything that you've been wondering about or maybe worried about."
"When Jason came home from Venezuela, the first night I woke up scared and didn't know where I was," Clay said quietly. "I thought maybe I was back in the cave in Syria."
"I'm sorry, Clay," Jeff said, sincerely. "That sounds really scary."
"It was," Clay said. "It still happens sometimes. But that night, I went to lay down with Jason because I knew I couldn't be alone. And after I calmed down, I told him how I was kind of sad that I can't go to school like JJ and Corey. I told him I'd been thinking about it, and that we talked about it here."
"How did your dad react?" Jeff asked.
"He didn't get upset at all," Clay said. "Jase said that he wasn't mad and that he wished I could just be a regular kid sometimes too. He said I could talk to him or Trent anytime or anyone else I felt like talking to about that or any other things."
"I'm really proud of you, son," Dr. Jeff smiled. "How did you feel after you talked about it?"
"I felt better," Clay said. "Before I was worried that Jason might be mad or frustrated with me. But now I know he understands."
"That's great, Clay," Jeff said. "So do you think you can try talking to Jason or Trent about something else that you've been thinking or wondering about this week?"
Clay nodded. "Yeah," he smiled. "I'll try."
"Ok," Jeff said. "We still have some time, but it looks to me like you might be ready for some more rest. Is there anything else you want to talk about today, or do you think you're ready to get going?"
"I think I'm ready to go," Clay said honestly. "Are you going to talk to Trent?"
"I will," Jeff said standing up. "How about you go hang out in the waiting room, and I'll have a quick chat with your Uncle Trent?"
Clay nodded tiredly. "Thanks Dr. Jeff."
"No problem, kiddo," the doctor said, tousling his hair and leading him out to the waiting room.
Trent was reading his Time magazine as expected. He looked surprised to see Clay and the doctor come out together. Usually, Clay came out on his own, and then Trent would go back to talk to Jeff in his office.
"Hey," Trent said, standing to shake hands with the doctor. "That was quick. Everything okay?"
Clay, who looked ready to crash, leaned against his trusted protector's side. Jeff made eye contact with Trent and smiled letting him know there was no drama coming.
"Everything is fine," he said. "Clay filled me in on the birthday events. He says Jason is warming up to Rocky. But I think your boy might have had enough talking for today. I heard there was some all night fun happening at Uncle Derrick's place, and I think someone is ready for a serious nap."
"Yeah, Doc," Trent chuckled, pulling the kid close and kissing his head. "My favorite kid will likely be out before we leave the parking lot."
"If it's okay with you," Jeff said, "Clay is going to relax out here for a few minutes while we chat."
"Sure thing," Trent said to the easygoing doctor.
Turning to Clay he continued. "Have a seat, squirt. I'll be out shortly and we'll head back to get you some lunch and a good long rest."
"Yes, sir," Clay said obediently, flopping down in a chair to wait for his favorite uncle.
When Trent came out of the doctor's office twenty minutes later, he found his boy alone in the waiting room, sleeping in an oversized chair.
"Poor baby must be exhausted," the receptionist said sympathetically. Melissa, Dr. Jeff's regular greeter, didn't work weekends. On Saturdays there was an older retired nurse who came in one day a week to help out the doctor. Like pretty much every adult with a soft spot for kids, the weekend receptionist was a fan of the sweet blond boy with the big blue eyes and messy curls.
Trent smiled back at her nodding. "He's had a busy few days," he said. "His birthday was this week, and he was up all last night with his friends playing games. But I'm going to get him fed and back in his bed as soon as we get home."
"Come on, honey," Trent said, shaking him gently. "Let's get moving. You can sleep in the car."
"Okay, Trent," he mumbled, looking confused and disheveled.
"Happy Birthday, Sweetie," the nurse smiled kindly from her desk. "How old are you now?"
"I turned seventeen on Thursday," Clay responded politely.
"Are you a junior in high school this year?" she asked. "My grandson lives in Chesapeake. He's seventeen, and he just started his junior year last month."
Clay looked up at Trent, not sure how to respond. He wasn't used to talking to adults who didn't know he was in the Navy.
"Clay's not in public school right now," Trent said politely, smiling at the older woman. "He's working on a special program."
Knowing that Dr. Jeff was a child psychologist working with kids from many different situations, she nodded cheerfully.
"Well, it sounds like you had a great birthday," she said lightly. "Get some rest. We don't want you to get sick. I'll see you boys next Saturday."
"I will," Clay said politely when Trent squeezed his arm. "Have a nice day."
"You too Sweetie," she smiled waving as they headed for the door.
As expected, Clay went to sleep as soon as the car started. He slept the rest of the way home, so Trent didn't have a chance to talk to him about his conversation with Dr. Jeff. While he was sleeping, Trent called ahead to Jason to let him know the kid was dead on his feet.
"Can you make him a grilled cheese or hot dog to eat before he goes back down for the rest of the afternoon?" Trent asked his longtime brother. "He's beat. We could be spun up anytime, and I want him rested and ready for his first time back in the field since Syria."
"Copy that," Jason agreed. "I'll fix him something he can eat as soon as you get back. Then he's going down, and hopefully he'll sleep straight through until morning. You're done earlier than I expected. Everything go okay with the doc?"
"No major drama," Trent said, looking over to confirm the kid was really out and not listening in. "Dr. Jeff let him out early because it was obvious Trouble is beat from the birthday extravaganza. But I'm going to stick around for lunch because we need to talk about what the doc told me after he sent the kid out to the waiting room."
"Do I need to mentally prepare?" Jason sighed.
"No, Jase," Trent said. "It's nothing insane. Or surprising. But it's all connected with the Syria trauma and the standard abandonment anxiety, so I know you want to be sure we're all up to date and on the same page before we find ourselves back out in the field."
"Absolutely, brother," Jason said. "I'm making him grilled ham and cheese now. Once he's down, you can update me on what Dr. Jeff had to say."
"Sounds like a plan," Trent said, reaching over to gently rub his boy's head. "We'll be there in five. I'm gonna run into the Speedway down the street from your place and grab us a case of Bud Light."
"I feel like I'm going to need a few Bud Lights," Jason said. "Good call."
An hour later, Clay was fed, tucked in tight, and sleeping soundly with his new wingman Rocky curled up at his side.
"The cat seems to be making himself at home," Trent chuckled, sitting down across from Jason and taking a beer after getting Clay settled.
"Yeah, well," Jason said, shaking his head. "I've entered the acceptance stage on Rocky. He's pretty low maintenance. Clay clearly loves him, and he spent his first full night in his room Thursday."
"Really?" Trent said, surprised. "He slept straight through? He hasn't done that since before Syria."
"He didn't sleep straight through," Jason clarified, reaching for his own drink. "He woke up at some point after I was already in bed. I heard him in the bathroom and came out to check on him. I sat with him in his own room until he was settled and sleeping. But he didn't wake up again, and he made it the whole night in his room with just the cat. That's the first time since we got back that he hasn't ended up in my bed or I haven't spent the majority of the night in his room."
"That is great progress," Trent agreed. "At Josh's place, he was bunking with JJ, and he still woke at least once every night and needed Josh or Melinda to get him settled."
"You were right again, brother," Jason said. "No one has that boy's number like Uncle Trent. Rocky was definitely a good call. I never would have thought a scruffy dumpster cat could get Mr. Anxiety sleeping in his own bed, but he's definitely more relaxed with Rocky attached to him."
"Clay is definitely tricky," Trent said, shaking his head. "But once you figure out how to read between the lines and recognize the signs of trouble brewing, he's not hard to sort out. That boy has been screaming for someone to love him, protect him and provide a structured home with consistent expectations and boundaries since that waste of space Ash Spencer tossed him out like garbage. You gave him all of that, and he loves you more than anything or anyone. That's why it's so hard for him to come to you first when he's done something wrong or he's worried that you're going to be mad at him. The thought of losing you terrifies him, so he needs reassurance from me or Brock or someone he trusts that no matter how naughty or reckless or disrespectful he's been, you aren't going to abandon him."
"And I assume your little chat with the good doctor is somehow related to his fear of being cut loose again?" Jason questioned.
"Everything is with Clay," Trent confirmed. "But now with the whole Syria shit show, it's even more complicated."
"So what exactly did Dr. Jeff say?" Jason said, leaning back and taking a long drink.
"Okay," Trent started. "Apparently while we were in Venezuela, at some point Tim put the kid down for a nap on a cot in the support cages. He had somewhere to be and left the runt with the support kids who were sitting around supposedly cleaning their cages."
"Okay," Jason said, slowly. "And?"
"And, according to what Clay told the doc," Trent went on, "Our boy did some of his famous fake sleeping with a side of eavesdropping. And, unlike the grown-ups, the support kids are not hip to Trouble's game, so our nosey brat got an earful he was not expecting."
"Let me guess," Jason said, shaking his head. "The little shits had plenty to say about the 'old geezers' and our rapidly declining physical skills and our rapidly increasing age and health issues."
"Well, Boss," Trent chuckled. "Your mental acuity is clearly sharper than the twenty-somethings give you credit for."
"And when I'm done with them," Jason laughed, "Sonny and Josh will be moving faster than the whole bunch. We'll see how tough they are at the end of this week."
Jason stood to put a pot to boil on the stove and pull out a box of spaghetti and a jar of Ragu.
"What exactly did they say in front of Sunshine?" he asked, fixing a quick supper for him and his loyal medic.
"In their defense, Jase," Trent said. "They thought he was sleeping, and the brat had no business being sneaky."
"And the brat is gonna hear about that, too," Jason said. "He's been warned more than once about sneaking around and minding grown up business like he's working for The New York Times."
"Well, I don't know how 'grown up' this business was," Trent said. "But the support kids apparently suggested that if we old coots aren't careful, we might overdo it and drop dead in front of them."
"Wonderful," Jason said, adding the spaghetti to the boiling water. "No wonder Sunshine was up half the night running Josh and Melinda ragged. And you better believe I'm siccing Alpha Four on their skinny little asses too."
"How did you know that's what this was all about?" Trent asked.
"Well," Jason said. "In addition to all the old guys vs. young guys banter being thrown around at the pre-Venezuela meeting, Clay has suddenly become very concerned with my health in general."
Trent laughed, reaching for another drink.
"Last week," Trent said. "He asked Sonny if he was aware that doctors now recommend a screening colonoscopy at forty-five rather than fifty."
"He asked me if I have a family history of Diabetes," Jason said. "And the night after we got back from South America, he had a bad dream and woke up thinking he was still in the cave in Syria. Once I got him calmed down, he said he was sorry for keeping me up because I need my sleep and shouldn't be awake and taking care of him at 3 a.m. at my age."
"He asked Dr. Jeff if he knew that you were almost fifty," Trent reported. "And then he got upset and confessed to the eavesdropping. He told the doc that the support guys suggested we might be on death's door, and he couldn't stand it if anything happened to us. From there he segwayed into you being fed up with his neediness and fretting about what's going to happen to him when he eventually turns eighteen."
"So basically," Jason said, adding sauce to the drained spaghetti while Trent took out two plates and forks, "The Syria fiasco, and the turning seventeen anxiety, combined with the support kids running their mouths thinking they're hilarious, is on the verge of blowing up in our faces if we don't reel in the crazy."
"That's it in a nutshell," Trent said. "The baby has himself worked up, worried about 'saying it out loud' and somehow making all his fears come true. So, instead of coming to one of us directly, Clay asked the doc to tell me what they talked about today. Then, he knows I will tell you, and I assume he's counting on me to stop you from immediately kicking him to the curb."
"And what are the doc's thoughts on how we should proceed with our seventeen going on seventy worry wort?" Jason sighed.
"Dr. Jeff says that we need to confront his fears head on," Trent said, dishing out spaghetti for himself and his longtime brother. "Talk honestly and simply about how us getting older will impact him and our Bravo family. Tease him into saying what he's afraid of out loud so it doesn't hold so much power in his head. Explain what will happen when he eventually turns eighteen, and then twenty when you will no longer be his legal Navy guardian and have control over what happens to him on the teams."
Sitting down to eat their dinner, Trent continued.
"None of us want to think about where we might be a few years from now, Jase," Trent said. "We all know that. And Clay is a very smart kid. He senses that, and it's ratcheting up his already raging anxiety and fear of abandonment. We need to make sure that our kid understands that, despite us not knowing exactly where we'll be in three years, he will still be your kid, and we will still be his family. Forever."
"I just told him that for about the hundredth time, Trent," Jason said, clearly frustrated. "When he got upset the morning of his birthday about being alone on the shooting range, when I texted you and Sonny, I assured him turning eighteen or twenty-eight or thirty-eight wasn't going to change how I feel about him. He is my kid now. Forever."
"We've all told him that," Trent said. "But we haven't talked about what's going to actually happen when he's eighteen next year. He's scared of that day because he won't legally be a child anymore. And he's right that changes things for him. He needs to know what being your eighteen or twenty-year-old kid means for him."
"I can't tell him for sure, Trent," Jason said. "Because I don't even know what I'll do when he's twenty. I'm committed to being Bravo One for the next three years while the kid has a legal contract with the Navy. I'm not leaving him as a teenager on Bravo without me."
"So tell him that," Trent said. "Out loud so it's real. You and he will be Bravo for at least the next three years. And you will be his guardian on the teams until he is twenty, so that agreement is not going to change for a while. He doesn't need to fret about it."
"And what do I say when he asks what happens when he's twenty and I'm not his Navy guardian?" Jason asked.
"Tell him the truth," Trent said. "You haven't decided yet, and you probably won't know until the time comes what you will do when he's twenty. But we both know that all of us forty-somethings have our team days numbered. We hate to talk about it, but we're the adults here, and we need to be straight with the kids. We may decide to stay in the Navy as instructors, or we may retire, but in the next five years, Jase, we aren't going to be Bravo because we are going to be too old."
"Damn brother," Jason said, sadly. "The kid is right. Saying it out loud does make it real."
"Yup," Trent said. "It sure does. But it is what it is. We tell Clay and Brock all the time that they can do hard things. And we need to man up and do the hard thing now which is talk about shit that none of us want to think about."
"And when he's eighteen," Jason said, taking a breath, "He can decide what he wants to do. He's legally committed to the Navy until twenty. At eighteen, I would love for him to stay here with me. This is always his home. And I'm always his dad. But if he feels like he wants to be on his own with kids his own age, he can move back into the dorms. But he'll still be Bravo. He'll still be our baby. And he'll still be with us every day at work as long as the old geezers are on the teams."
"And that is exactly what you need to tell him, brother," Trent said. "He will still be anxious. Still fear abandonment. Still need loads of reassurance. And he's going to act out to test those boundaries and assure himself that even when he makes bad choices and gets himself punished, he's not going to be dumped. But once we actually start talking about the future, it won't seem so scary - not for him or for us."
"The night he woke up and thought he was back in Syria," Jason started. "He was asking all kinds of questions about school. If Mikey and Emma liked school. If we were a regular family when I was married to Alana like Josh's clan. Then he told me he's talked to JJ and Brock about how he wishes sometimes he could be a regular kid and go to school like the other boys. Has he talked to you about that?"
"No, Jase," Trent said, finishing his spaghetti and leaning back in his chair. "I would have told you if he'd said anything like that to me. But, honestly, it doesn't surprise me he would think about it after the whole Syria shit show, followed up with a week at Josh's place. He's never had anything remotely close to a traditional family. And after three days hiding in a cave in Syria, sick, injured, evading capture and wondering if his team would find him, we both know he and Brock had to be terrified. And then he has two weeks in a home with two loving parents, siblings his own age who go to school, hang out with friends, spend their time after school playing video games or going to football and soccer practice. They eat dinner together, go to church, do things as a family. To a kid who never experienced anything but horrible abuse and abandonment until he was sixteen, at which point he's dumped in the Navy, forced to lie about his age and do the dangerous and stressful job of an adult man, the life JJ and Corey have probably seems pretty damn good to Clay."
"When I told him I understood, and there is nothing wrong about wishing his life was different, he got worked up," Jason said. "Told me he loves his family. He loves me. He loves you and the other guys. Never wants a different family. But you're right, it has to be incredibly hard and scary to go back to active duty after what happened in Syria knowing that other kids his age are living in a completely different universe. It just pisses me off so much that we all ended up in this mess. And it tempts me to give Metal and Sonny the greenlight to tear Ash apart."
"Yeah, well Jase," Trent sighed. "You surely know it pisses me off as well. And it scares the shit out of me. But we are where we are. And so is Clay."
Jason nodded, standing to clear the plates.
"I'll talk to Sunshine in the morning," Jason said. "Be completely honest and reassure him that he's going to be alright. Talk about what's worrying him. Let him know we aren't going anywhere, and answer whatever questions he has about the future as honestly as I possibly can."
"You got this, brother," Trent said sincerely. "You got Emma and Mikey through losing their mother, and look how great they are both doing. Clay adores you. As long as he knows he has you for his dad, it's going to all work out."
"You think so?" Jason asked.
"I know so," Trent said confidently, standing to go check on the kid to be sure he was sleeping soundly.
When he returned and got ready to take off, Trent could see that his longtime friend and brother still seemed troubled.
"You good, boss?" Trent asked.
Jason was quiet for a minute before answering.
"You know how much both Clay and Brock depend on you, and how much they love you," Jason stated simply. "We both know I'd be in a river of shit if you didn't have my back 24/7. And I have no right to ask, but just to be clear, you'll be available in the morning if I need Uncle Trent back-up when Sunshine and I have this 100 percent honest heart to heart tomorrow?"
Trent laughed, slapping his brother on the back. "Yeah, Jase," he said. "Copy that. We are on the same page, and I will be just an SOS text away if the runt goes off the rails and you need an Uncle Trent intervention. But, I really think you got this covered."
Jason snorted, shaking his head. "From your mouth to God's ear, brother."