Back to Business
The holidays flew by and it was suddenly the second week in January. Arrangements were made, good-byes said, automatic banking and bill pay set up to avoid the single members of Bravo coming home to cold, dark houses when they returned to Virginia Beach in the spring.
After their first really bad mission in Syria, Brock and Clay did as they were told, worked the plan, and had a peaceful, happy and productive three month reprieve from missions before the agreed upon long deployment halfway around the world and far from friends and loved ones going about their normal lives back at home without them.
No one on Bravo was looking forward to this extended spin up, but it was a life they had chosen, and they were all focused and committed to doing their jobs and returning home in the spring, alive and together.
The last two months before shipping out had been somehow busy but relaxing at the same time. The knowledge that, barring some kind of national disaster or unexpected attack, Bravo wouldn't be getting any zero dark thirty calls to pack up and head out anywhere provided Bravo's youngest with a sense of calm predictability Clay had never experienced, and Brock hadn't known since becoming an officially minted Navy SEAL five years earlier when he was placed on Team Eight.
For the senior guys, the three month taste of what life might be like when they finally left the SEAL Teams was surprisingly satisfying. They continued to report to their jobs on base Monday thru Friday, but the requirement to be constantly on call, bags packed, ready to disappear into the night headed virtually anywhere with no prior notice was a welcome relief the older guys had not expected.
Ray relished being home at night by five-thirty at the latest, enjoying the family life he loved with his wife and kids. They made weekend plans that Naima didn't need to carry through on herself so that the kids wouldn't be upset or unsettled when her husband was suddenly gone for two days or two weeks. Sonny made his first three week long visit in years to his beloved Texas when he went back home in November to touch base with family and do some work on the house and land he owned.
Trent took advantage of available training that would be an asset if he decided to take a job in a hospital setting down the line, while also making time to catch up and play some golf with other medics he had become friendly with over the years. And Jason tore apart and remodeled the bathroom which he hadn't found the time to do since the previous winter when Clay had turned on the tub, gotten distracted by something on TV, and let the water overflow for thirty minutes before he noticed it flowing into the hall, destroying the floor and causing water damage they had been just living with for months.
Uncle Trent as always made time for his boys who he took on a much talked about weeklong camping adventure in the Blue Ridge Mountains. Clay especially, who had never been on any kind of family vacation, was on cloud nine. They stayed in a cabin with a giant fireplace near a creek where Trent taught him to fish. Clay hung out in the cabin reading and catching up on all the beginning of the school year back work from the AP U.S. History class Jason had made happen as promised, while Trent and Brock went bow hunting deer in the surrounding woods.
Brock continued to bunk at Trent's place, but he and Katie saw each other regularly and enjoyed a young adult 'dating' relationship they hadn't really experienced before jumping straight to marriage from her college years and his SEAL training. They had the opportunity to get to know each other in a way they hadn't before, without the pressures of a young military marriage which was temporarily in limbo.
When Brock and Clay first started the joint sessions with Dr. Jeff, Trent was driving them to the downtown office three times a week. But after the first month of the intense, emotional visits, the doctor cut them back to twice a week, and by December, the boys were back to seeing Dr. Jeff just once every week.
During his individual time with the doc, Brock talked a lot about his relationship with Katie and his fear that maybe she would pull away completely and move on without him while Bravo was away. He shared his anxiety not knowing what his life was going to be like when he got home, but the calm doctor and his loyal big brother Trent assured him that both he and Katie would be fine, no matter what they ultimately decided about their marriage.
Dr. Jeff, who had never actually met Katie, asked Trent during one of their post-therapy talks what the much loved medic thought about the young couple.
"I've admitted many times that I am no expert on women or love," Trent said to the doctor. "But I think eventually Brock and Katie are going to come through this hard time stronger and more committed."
"I think the plan to give them some time apart was a really good idea," Jeff told him. "The time under the watchful eye of Uncle Trent has obviously been just what your boy needed. He looks like a completely different kid than the skinny, nervous wreck with dark circles under his eyes that fell asleep on my couch mid-session back in October."
Trent chuckled,"Between the nutritionist, the trainer, and your endless patience with our boys, they are both one hundred percent calmer and healthier than they were after the Syria shit show."
"How are they doing at night?" the doctor asked. "They both certainly appear to be a lot less worn out than they were a couple months ago."
"They're making progress," Trent reported. "Brock still needs me to sit with him to settle and fall asleep. But once he's down, he's been making it through the night fairly consistently. The nightmares still happen sometimes, but he's less confused when he wakes up in the night. And he's willing to talk about what happened in Syria and the fear and panic he felt knowing he was the one in charge, with Clay being so sick, and the real possibility that they could have been discovered and captured at any time hanging over their heads."
"What about your baby?" Jeff smiled. "He's been a lot more talkative this last month. And he seems to be enjoying his time at school."
"Oh, Clay is definitely having a good time playing school," Trent confirmed. "He's doing such a good job managing the transition from base to school to home that Jason is going to let him take AP Physics next fall with Josh's daughter since JJ is a year older than Clay and graduating in May."
"How is he doing with sleeping in his own bed?" Jeff asked.
"According to Jason," Trent reported, he is also doing much better. "Rocky has been a godsend. He's a cuddler, and he spends the whole night in the bed with Clay. He also does better sleeping through the night if Jase gets him tucked in and settled, but he still won't stay alone in the room with the door closed - even during the day. But he's doing everything we ask of him. Jason and I both agree that you having the joint sessions with him and Brock has been really helpful all the way around. Allowing them to talk openly and honestly about not just Syria, but also that whole ridiculous tale Ash told Clay about being cursed and ruining Bravo, and Brock's reckless behavior, I know it must be a lot for you to manage, but it's making a really big impact on both boys."
"I'm just glad to see them both looking happy and healthy," Jeff said sincerely.
"We owe you big time for agreeing to take them both on at once," Trent said.
"So what's the plan for Rocky while Bravo is deployed?" Jeff asked. "Clay says that Derrick's allergy shots haven't really kicked in and made a noticeable difference yet."
Trent smiled, shaking his head. "Alpha's head grouch Metal has offered to keep Rocky at his place while we're away. And when Alpha is spun up, Derrick's wife Catherine will take him."
"All hands on deck." Jeff chuckled.
"Absolutely," Trent agreed.
Brock spent the last night before the deployment home with Katie.
They had been talking on and off about getting a dog of their own since Brock first returned from Syria several months earlier. Josh mentioned the idea to him when Bravo had been sent out on a mission before their boys were cleared for a return to active duty. A few days before shipping out, Brock and Katie drove to the animal shelter in Norfolk where Josh and the kids had gotten their much loved family dog Nacho, several years earlier, when Josh was returning to active duty after a year long recovery from an explosion that nearly killed him.
"I'm going to miss date nights when you're gone," Katie said in the truck when they were driving out to the shelter. "You know my sister is going to try to make me her party partner every weekend. I don't know if I'm up for being Jenny's babysitter slash therapist for the next three months. Let's say a little prayer that the guy she met at her gym last month sticks around for a while before she gets bored and cuts the poor thing loose."
Katie was doing her best to make the situation seem light, but Brock knew that he wasn't the only one worried about their future together. Brock had been caught up in his own adjustment to life as an operator since becoming part of Bravo. The lights were just coming on, and Brock was beginning to understand the sacrifices Katie had been making since she married him and became part of the SEAL world without ever having enlisted herself.
"You know how much I love you, right Katie?" Brock said sincerely, reaching over to take hold of her hand while he was driving. "I'm so sorry for putting you through this whole mess. I feel like things finally settled down, and we were getting back to how it was before the whole Syria shit show. Now I'm going again. And I want you to be happy, and not lonely or sad while I'm gone. But I'm also worried that maybe you are going to decide that your life would be simpler and better without me."
"My life would for sure be more simple, and probably easier," Katie admitted. She wanted to be honest, but she also was afraid of upsetting Brock before he had to fly off to God knows what craziness.
"But, I know it wouldn't be better," She went on quietly, squeezing his hand. "I love you so much, Brock. And I partly understood what our life together would be like because I grew up in the military. I saw how it was for my parents, and for me and my sisters, too. But, my dad's job was different, and he would be gone sometimes for long stretches. But then, he'd be back working on base, and it was like we were a normal family. He didn't come and go all the time like you do. And it's been hard for me to adjust and figure things out. But Brock, I love you just as much as you love me. And I don't want you to worry or think while you're gone that I'm going to change my mind, or do anything crazy. Because I'm not."
"I just want you to be happy, Katie," Brock said, trying really hard to control his emotions and not lose it on his wife. "And when I get back, I want to come home to our house. And I want us to be like we were before I messed everything up."
"You didn't mess anything up, Brock," Katie said honestly. "You went through something really bad, and it was hard for you to just snap back from that. Clearly, you made some questionable decisions, but I did too. I absolutely should have gone to Trent or Jason and let them know you were struggling, because you obviously were not thinking straight. Or I could have asked my mom or Catherine for help, but I panicked too. So it's not all on you. I love you, and we are going to figure this all out together when you get home."
Katie slid over and leaned up against Brock's shoulder, still gripping his hand.
"And Brock," she said, tearing up. "I don't want you to worry while you're away, about me, or what's going to happen when you get back home. You need to focus and do your job so you can come home in one piece. I am fine. And I'm going to have a new fur baby to keep me company. And you know my sister, wild as she is, has been my best friend and Irish twin since before I can even remember. Jenny is not going to ditch me alone in the house, and neither is my mom or The Colonel. He's already got poor Corey on a Saturday schedule for keeping up the yard and being my assistant for any errands that need to be done."
"Let Corey help you out with the dog," Brock said, worrying about his other little brother. "And I know you aren't a fan of the 'four idiots pranking each other' as Trent calls them, or PlayStation or movies about history. But maybe bite the bullet, and do some of the stuff he usually does with me or Clay."
"My mom is worried how he's going to do without Clay, now that he finally found a good friend," Katie said. "And even The Colonel acknowledged this will be a hard time for Corey. Which for Daddy is practically like suddenly going woke."
"Corey looked despondent about Clay being gone for three months," Brock said. "And I asked Josh to remind JJ not to forget about him while we're gone, but it's JJ's senior year, and you know he'll be busy with all kinds of school related things. Josh promised to have JJ and the girls keep him in the loop, but it's still going to be hard."
"I won't forget about my baby brother," Katie promised. "I will get him over to order Mexican and watch those highly disturbing, true life crime documentaries he and Clay find so entertaining. Jenny loves those too, so we can have brother-sister bonding while enjoying murder and mayhem together."
"And!" Katie said, suddenly sitting up and turning to face her young husband with a big grin on her face. "I totally forgot to grill you about this. The Colonel told me that you actually showed up unannounced to pay him a visit while I was at work. That was a bold move. Jenny suggests I had better alert your step-mother Trent to search your room for edibles if you are suddenly brave enough to face Daddy alone."
"Tell Jenny I suggest she takes her comedy tour on the road," Brock said sarcastically. "I'm sure she'd be a big hit."
Katie laughed, relieved to hear Brock sounding like his old-self again.
"So what did you and The Colonel possibly discuss?" she said. "Jenny and I are dying to know. And my mother told us to mind our own business when we asked."
"That is excellent advice for you and Hurricane Jenny," Brock said, rolling his eyes.
"Come on, Brock," Katie said, getting annoyed that he was being secretive. "I'm not shutting up about this, so you might as well cave and tell me everything. You better not have been talking about me like I'm some damsel in distress who needs her daddy and her Navy SEAL husband to rescue her."
"Oh Jesus, AOC," Brock teased. "Calm the hell down. Your daddy and I did not even discuss you. You are getting very narcissistic. Not everything is about you."
"I'm going to be getting very homicidal. And very pro-abstinence for your last week before a three-month long dry spell in the desert," Katie returned. "So I would strongly suggest you stop evading the question, and start talking, Bravo Five."
Brock looked at his clearly flustered girl with amusement.
"Okay, okay," he said. "Let's dial it down a notch. I'm not avoiding anything. And I would never consider you a damsel in distress, but I can't speak for The Colonel on that. We were not discussing you in any way. I went to bring him the RISK game that Corey and Clay had set up in the basement."
"You asked daddy to play RISK with Corey?" Katie asked genuinely surprised. "What did he say?"
"I didn't open with RISK," Brock said. "I apologized for everything I've fucked up since coming back from Syria. Told him I'm getting my shit together as you ordered, and it's not going to happen again."
"I assume you didn't say 'fucked up' or 'shit' in hearing distance of my mother and her much detested bar of mouth washing soap, since I didn't come home from work to find you whining, brushing and rinsing with the minty Scope, " Katie deadpanned.
"I did not," Brock deadpanned back at her. "Unlike Clay, I learned when I was a kid not to poke the bear."
"So how did you segway into father-son bonding?" Katie asked. "And how did daddy react? Because you know Jenny and I have been trying to get him to relax with Corey for years. And everyone knows we're his favorites. You, not so much."
"Well, Special Princess," Brock said. "Your handsome and charming husband may not be a fan favorite, but apparently The Colonel is a fan of old school RISK. Which Trent suggested he might be, since apparently it was a thing for the ROTC crowd back in the day, before technology killed the board game. And Dr. Jeff concurred and suggested it might be a 'bridge' as he called it between your daddy and baby brother."
"You and Clay talk about my family with your shrink?" Katie snorted.
"Not regularly," Brock chuckled. "But last week, Clay had himself all worked up about Corey. Apparently Mr. Doomsday was thinking in his busy brain that maybe Corey would be so upset without his loyal wingman to drag him into trouble for three whole months, that your honor student and teacher's pet little brother might 'pull a Brock and start boozing and pill popping'".
That cracked Katie up. "Is that a direct quote?" she laughed. "I love that kid so much. While I'm watching The History Channel and The Colonel is playing RISK, you better be watching out for my sweet baby seal."
"I am on the case as always," Brock assured her, pulling into the lot of the animal shelter.
While Jason was painting and nailing up floor molding in the new bathroom, Josh and Company whisked Clay away in the ten-year-old family minivan, affectionately known as the 'big rig' to Alpha Four's babies and their random assortment of friends and hanger-ons. Daddy Josh and Mama Melinda were taking the kids out for 'Bon Voyage Baby Seal' dinner and bowling fun. They were loaded up in what had become their regular seats since Clay and Corey had been welcomed into the posse: daddy and mama up front, girls in the middle bucket seats, boys on the bench seat in back.
The kids had a great time, filled with laughing and reminiscing, free from sibling bickering.
The adults played along for the sake of the kids.
They spent a fortune, including the two hundred bucks each that Uncles Sonny and Metal wouldn't take no for an answer, insisting the money be added to the spoiling of the babies' fund. Josh and Melinda agreed to pretty much everything, including fancy ice cream sundaes from Ben & Jerry's on the car ride out to Norfolk to deliver Corey home. It was a full night of fun that included dinner at the local pizza place with arcade gaming, go-kart racing, and late night glow in the dark bowling.
But the grown ups rarely made eye contact with each other.
More than ever after Syria, they both understood that the boy they had grown to love, this child who was the same age as their own baby girl Lori, could climb up into that plane in a few days and return home in a flag covered box.
Melinda had already spent the afternoon hiding out in Derrick and Catherine's apartment. The dependably unshakeable Navy wife cried for over an hour, unable to control her emotions. Melinda knew that she could count on Catherine to share her couch and her wine. Her longtime friend and fellow SEAL wife knew that Melinda would not let herself lose control of her emotions in front of the kids, especially Lezlie who suffered from anxiety and regularly acted out when Josh was deployed. But alone with Catherine who was even more emotionally attached to Clay, not having any biological kids of her own and living right across the hall, Melinda felt free to share her fears, not just for Clay, but for her own husband who had been doing this job for so long, and was finally close to making it through alive and back to a more stable life.
"Believe me, Mel," Catherine said, pouring them both another drink. "I know exactly how you feel. I love that kid so much it hurts. And I can't even make myself think about what I would do if something terrible happened to Derrick. We have no kids of our own. He's my entire life."
"So," Melinda said, feeling seriously buzzed and knowing she would need to call Josh to pick her up, or have Derrick drive her home. "You have no words of wisdom, deep thoughts, nothing?"
"I have more wine," Catherine snorted, equally buzzed. "But aside from that, sister, all I can say is we both know, after all these years, that it is what it is. There is nothing we can do about it. So I guess we should have another drink and be thankful both our husbands are home safe tonight. You have Josh looking after your kids. And I have my handsome medic to go out and bring us home some Mexican."
"Cheers," Melinda said, laughing through her tears and tapping glasses with her longtime friend. "We definitely need to add some nachos to this situation."
The night before they left, Jason insisted that both he and Clay hit the sack early.
"We have a briefing before taking off," Jason said, tousling Clay's just showered, wet curls. "And then a long-ass flight. I want you in bed and snoozing ASAP. No phone, no PlayStation, no nonsense. You hearing me, son?"
"Yes, sir," Clay sighed, standing to slowly trudge off to his room. "Are you coming in to say goodnight?"
Bravo's Baby looked back over his shoulder in order to assure himself that, as he had been doing since returning from Syria almost 4 months earlier, his dad would be coming into his room to say goodnight. Jason would sit on the side of his bed, rub his back, and talk quietly for a few minutes to be sure he was settled with Rocky at his side before kissing his head and heading off to his own room down the hall.
"Yes, Sunshine," Jason assured him, checking over the apartment to make sure everything was set for morning. "I'll be in to sit with you in a few minutes. Brush your teeth and go get in bed."
Clay had something he had been wanting to talk about with his trusted protector, but he was hesitant for two reasons. First, he did not want to be accused of eavesdropping again. His boss-daddy had made it crystal clear, and Clay had received multiple reminders from his grumpy uncles, that he was not going to enjoy the consequences if Jason heard about any further sneaking around and minding other people's business.
Clay had been 'like a choirboy on Sunday', according to Uncle Josh, for three whole months after he had managed to get himself grounded by Jason, lectured by Trent, and spanked by Josh. All in one very unfortunate weekend. Three months in the punishment free zone was a record for him, and Clay was not looking to kick off this long-ass deployment on Jason's trouble list.
The second reason Bravo's youngest was anxious about initiating this particular conversation, was that as usual he was afraid to hear something bad. He had brought up the subject during the final group session with Brock and Dr. Jeff that they would have before the deployment. Both his trusted counselor and much-loved big brother assured him that if it was causing him to be nervous, he should take a deep breath and talk about it with Jason.
"Do you think I'm going to be in trouble for eavesdropping?" Clay asked Brock hesitantly.
"I don't know, runt," Brock chuckled, leaning back in Dr. Jeff's comfortable chair and shrugging. "Were you eavesdropping again? After being warned multiple times by literally everyone but Santa Claus and the guy in the cafeteria who sneaks you extra brownies?"
"Ugh, Brock," Clay whined. "I wasn't 'eavesdropping' on purpose. Sometimes, I just hear stuff."
"You just 'hear stuff'?" Brock said skeptically.
"Yes," Clay said, frustrated that his go-to excuse maker wasn't supporting him. "People talk, and I hear stuff. Why are you not backing me up on this?"
"Sorry, Squirt," Brock said, shaking his head. "You know I love you, and I'd do anything for you. Anything short of pissing off the boss or Trent. That's where I draw the line. And we both know that they wouldn't be pissed off at me unless I lied by covering something that they need to know."
Brock stopped to let his currently pouting little brother think about that for a minute.
"Do I need to remind you how horribly golf club baseball ended for us both?" Brock prodded. "You lied to Jason. And then I lied to save your little ass from getting worn out. Is this ringing any bells for you?"
"Golf club baseball?" Dr. Jeff asked, raising his eyebrows.
"Long story," both boys said at the same time.
"I bet," Dr. Jeff chuckled.
"And for the record, Clay," the doctor continued, calm as always. "I'm going to agree with Brock on this one. Even though I make it a point not to take sides. You have been on a three month winning streak as far as acting out goes. Now, you are getting ready for the kind of deployment you have never experienced. And I suspect that is making you anxious about the temporary end of the regular schedule you have enjoyed, as well as upset and possibly a little angry about leaving school, your friends, and some of the other adults you love and depend on like Josh and Melinda, Derrick and Catherine. Am I right about that?"
Clay nodded, looking over at Brock sadly.
"I'm sorry I snapped at you," he said softly. "I know I need to talk to Jason about this, even if I get in trouble for eavesdropping on the adults again. But I really wasn't trying to be sneaky. Jason and Sonny were talking in the kitchen, and Corey and I were coming back from helping Derrick carry some boxes for Catherine. We were outside the door in the hallway talking to the kid Jason doesn't like from down the hall, and Sonny started yelling - and you know how loud he gets when he's worked up. Joey took off back to his apartment because he's already scared of Jason, and me and Corey were just standing there. I guess we could have gone back to Derrick's apartment, but Sonny was yelling about me and Ash. So we listened."
Clay paused before asking, "Corey didn't tell you?"
"Nope," Brock said. "This is the first I heard about it. I assume Jason was filling Sonny in about the ridiculous crap Ash told you about curses and him fantasizing that he could ever 'trick' Jason into doing anything. And Sonny, who loves you even more than Texas and the girls at Foxy's combined and multiplied, lost his shit and started threatening to round up Metal and make the Ashole disappear permanently for upsetting his baby."
"We couldn't hear what Jason was saying, because he was probably trying to calm down Sonny," Clay said. "But based on what we could hear, I'm guessing that's what it was all about."
Brock looked over at Dr. Jeff for back-up.
"I don't know, Doc," the older boy shrugged. "But, I'm going to say in this situation, Clay is correct that it's not really eavesdropping. I mean, they could have gone back to Derrick, but if Sonny was riled up and yelling at full volume, they would have heard the show either way."
"So what are we weighing in on here?" Dr. Jeff asked, smiling. "Are you asking me if I think Clay should tell Jason honestly how he's feeling about what Ash said to him?"
Jeff paused looking back and forth between both boys.
"If that's what you're both asking," he said, "The answer is, yes. I think this is something that you should not be afraid to talk about with Jason. Or any of the other adults you love and trust."
"What about the eavesdropping on him and Sonny?" Clay asked Dr. Jeff, looking hesitantly over at Brock to see his reaction.
Dr. Jeff smiled sympathetically, shaking his head at the boys he had grown so fond of.
"If you're asking me to give an opinion that you can take back to Jason about what constitutes eavesdropping, or if you should or should not be punished for listening in on the adults, you are out of luck, kiddo," Jeff said solemnly. "That is between you and Jason. It's not my place to insert my two cents into his decisions as your dad and guardian, unless I reasonably believe you are in danger of being hurt or abused. Which for the record, I think we all can agree you are not."
The doctor, who was well aware how kids operate, paused to let that sit for a minute before continuing.
"Am I wrong about you being in danger of being hurt or abused?" Jeff asked gently.
"No," Clay said honestly, making eye contact. "You're not wrong."
Jeff turned to look at Brock expectantly. "Son?"
"No, Doc," Brock answered confidently. "Clay is in zero danger of being hurt or abused by Jason. And that also goes for Trent, Sonny, Ray, or any of the other grumpy old guys who love us both."
"Well that's a relief to me," Dr. Jeff smiled, standing to pat Clay's curly head. "Times up, boys. I'm going to go call Uncle Trent back to chat with us for a few minutes before you get going. Are we good here?"
"Yes, sir," Brock and Clay responded together. "We're good."
When Jason had the apartment locked up, and their bags by the door ready for morning, he turned off the kitchen lights and headed back to Clay's room to get his boy settled for the night. Bravo One was ready for bed after a busy last day at home, but in general he was feeling more rested than he had been in a long time. Jason knew he and his team were both physically and mentally ready to face the upcoming extended deployment together.
Jason didn't bother to enter his kid's room quietly, knowing that Clay would be awake and waiting for him to say goodnight.
"Alright, Sunshine," Jason said, plopping down on the side of the bed next to where his boy was curled up, facing the door in anticipation of his chosen dad's late night visit. "Scoot over and make some room for your old boss-daddy to take a load off."
Clay moved over to make room for Jason to take a seat at the top of the bed, leaning back against the wall and stretching his legs out on the bed next to his kid. Since returning home from Syria, Clay had gotten in the habit of laying on his belly, arms wrapped around his pillow to give Jason the not so subtle hint that he was angling for a back rub to help him relax and fall straight to sleep.
When Jason smiled to himself and reached out to provide the expected massage, he already knew that Clay was fretting about what he had overheard from a pissed off Sonny in pitbull mode. Jason decided to cut to the chase and let his youngest know that Brock had already reported all the details to Trent, who had passed the update on to him. On the night before a deployment, it was better to let the kid off the hook and reduce the chances of a drama situation developing that could last half the night and require an intervention from Uncle Trent.
"So Shorty," Jason said calmly, not mad about the eavesdropping or fazed by Clay's fretting over Ash's typical bully bullshit. "A little bird told me that you have something to discuss, but you are worried about my reaction."
"Is that little bird a snitch who travels with a big dog attached to his waist and an old school GameBoy in his bag?" Clay grouched, turning his head to look away from his boss-daddy so that he could show his displeasure at being tattled on without interrupting his back rub.
Jason laughed, pausing the back rub to give his boy's upward facing backside a good hard swat.
"Ow!" Clay complained, reaching back to rub his butt. "What was that for?"
"That's to cover the sneaking around in the hallway and minding adult business we have discussed too many times for me to count," Jason said.
"That's it?" Clay asked, turning his face back to make eye contact skeptically. "One swat? I'm not grounded, or about to get my butt wore out?"
"Was that your end goal?" Jason asked, putting on his most confused expression. "I mean, it's been a minute since we've had to go there. Were you hoping for a good-bye dance with Mr. Spoon? Because there's still time to throw him in the bag and bring him with us to the sandbox."
"You're not good at being funny," Clay said, turning his head away again. "Maybe Derrick can give you some tips on how to be the funniest guy in the room."
"And that hurt," he pouted, still rubbing his ass.
"That was my end goal," Jason said. "Did you get the message, or do we need to further discuss the sneaking?"
"Did Deep Throat at least tell you that I wasn't trying to eavesdrop?" Clay asked. "Me and Corey were just walking across the hall, minding our own business. And Sonny was yelling like a crazy person. Mrs. Conroy with the hearing aides probably heard him from her apartment down on the first floor watching Antiques Roadshow on full volume."
"I know. You are all about minding your own business," Jason said sarcastically. "And I'm still waiting for an answer to my question."
"Yes," Clay said softly. "I got the message. And we don't need to further discuss my sneaking."
"That is a great relief to me, Sunshine," Jason smiled, resuming the back rub. "It's late, we're both tired. And I'm not up for any unpleasant discussions the night before a long ass flight."
"Does that mean you don't want to talk about what I heard in the hallway?" Clay asked anxiously. "Because if you want me just to shut up and go to sleep I will. I don't want you to be all frustrated with me before we even get on the plane."
"Hey," Jason said calmly, giving his backside a much gentler pat. "Sit up and look at me, Sunshine."
Clay pushed himself up, turning to make eye contact as directed.
Jason reached out and rested his hand on the side of Clay's head, using his thumb to gently rub the boy's cheek. The Master Chief had learned that kid taming hack from watching Trent handle the runt in panic mode. As usual, it worked like a charm and Clay immediately settled and crawled under Jason's offered arm seeking comfort and reassurance.
"When I said that I wasn't up for an unpleasant discussion," Jason explained quietly. "What I meant is that I have no intention of punishing you for overhearing Sonny and I talking. I'm aware that he was in pissed off Mighty Quinn mode and the entire building probably heard him expressing his displeasure. And before you decide to spend the entire flight giving Brock the stink eye, your loyal big brother and lead attorney already told both Trent and me that once again, you were an angel who did nothing whatsoever wrong."
"Well," Clay said, peeking up at his boss-daddy, trying to hide his smile. "Brock's not wrong about that."
"So," Jason said, shaking his head fondly at his kid. "How about you just cut to the chase, and tell me what you have been fretting about. Because, as I have told you many times, you can come to me at any time and tell me anything that is bothering you or that you are confused about. Or excited about. Or scared about. I will always listen to you - even the night before a long ass flight. I love you, Sunshine. And there is nothing that is more important to me than making sure my youngest baby is secure, safe and settled."
Pulling the kid in close to his side, Jason kissed his boy's head before continuing.
"And that is especially important to me as Bravo One, the night before a long ass flight to a long ass deployment where my baby seal is expected to do the dangerous, stressful job of a grown ass man, when I absolutely understand that he is very much a boy. A smart ass, tough ass, well-trained ass boy. But still just a boy," Jason paused.
"And Clay, I want you to understand that every man on Bravo knows that you are doing the absolute best that you can possibly do at being Bravo Six. And we understand that this is not something you chose for yourself. And, yes, we know you love being Bravo, and you love your family. But, us old geezers still understand that tomorrow, instead of getting on a plane to a warzone, you would much rather be getting on the bus and heading off to school with your friends. And Sunshine, we all wish that's where you were going as well."
"I know that's what you all want for me, Jase," Clay said quietly, holding tight to his shirt. "And I'm so grateful that you made school happen, even if it was just for a little while. No one ever in my life loved me or took care of me like you and Trent and Sonny and all of my new family has done. And I know I get crazy, and I make you all crazy sometimes. But it's because I love you and my life now so much. And every night, even though I trust that you want me, I still fall asleep a little afraid that I'm going to wake up back in the orphan camp, or the foster facility, or locked in Mr. Green's garage alone on a dirty mattress. And I want that to go away, but it just won't go."
"I know you do sweetheart," Jason said, holding him tight against his side and resting his chin on his kid's messy head. "And it will eventually. But until it does, I am going to keep telling you every day that I love you, you are my son, I am never leaving you alone, no matter how crazy you might make me sometimes. I promise."
"I believe you, Jase," he said softly.
"I surely hope you believe me Shorty," Jason teased. "Because I have never lied to you, and I'm not starting tonight. And while we are telling each other the truth. How about you fill me in on what you heard, or think you heard Sonny squawking about when you were minding your own business and definitely not eavesdropping in the hallway."
"I heard him say something about you going to talk to Ash," Clay said. "And then he was yelling that if you just let him and Metal get rid of Ash we wouldn't have to worry about him showing up and getting me upset with his bullshit."
"Well," Jason said. "You and Corey definitely had your listening ears turned up."
"Jason," Clay said seriously. "Don't let Sonny kill Ash. I know he's a waste of space, and he's done a lot of bad things to me, but murder seems like an extreme choice in this situation."
Jason laughed out loud. He loved this kid so much.
"It's not funny, Jase," Clay said, sitting up and turning to face him with an appalled look on his face. "Sonny and Metal could go to prison for the rest of their lives. And I know we think they're tough, but I don't feel like gen pop is a happy place for the senior citizen crowd."
"Okay Clay," Jason laughed, trying to catch his breath. "Let's reel it back in for a minute. First of all, I am absolutely not going to let Sonny or Metal murder Ash. Tempting as it may be. No one in the 'senior citizen crowd' is going to prison. Your Uncle Sonny loves you more than anything, and it makes him insane that Ash has allowed so many horrible things to happen to you. But that's over now, and Sonny understands that. He's been a pain in my ass, and my fiercest and most loyal brother for thirty years. But Sonny is not homicidal. He just likes to bitch and moan and hear himself rant. It's part of his charm."
"Are you sure?" Clay seemed unconvinced. "Because he sounded pretty serious to me and Corey. He looked it up online, and even if he got out early for good behavior, which let's face it, isn't likely - even with early parole, Corey says if he got thirty to life, the soonest Sonny would be out of prison he'd be like almost sixty-five-years-old. That's old Jase. I'll be over thirty by then."
"That is a shocking image," Jason teased. "Sonny and Metal being rolled out of Fort Leavenworth in their wheelchairs at sixty-five. You and Corey over thirty, practically ready for the old folks home yourselves. It's a bleak picture you are painting here for me. Lucky for us all, your boss-daddy has the situation completely in-hand. Ash is not getting murdered. And Sonny is not going to prison. I promise."
"Okay," Clay said, leaning back into his protector's side. "I just hope you know what you're doing."
"I feel confident I do, Trouble," Jason assured him.
"What did you and Ash talk about?" Clay asked, genuinely curious.
"Ray and I went to see him together," Jason said.
Clay smiled. "You took Ray to keep you from losing it with him?"
"No, smart ass," Jason smiled back. "I don't need Ray to keep me from losing it. But, I've been told he's more diplomatic than me. And he most definitely suffers fools better than I do, so he went as my wingman."
"And?" Clay asked.
"And we talked to him like civilized human beings," Jason said. "You would have been very proud of my restraint, because Ash does try my patience."
"I'm always very proud of you," Clay said simply, still holding onto his only true father's shirt. "We all are. Emma and Mikey too. And everyone on Bravo, and the support guys. You're our hero."
"Well, I'm always proud of you too," Jason said. "No one has better babies or better brothers than me."
"Did Ash say anything bad about me?" Clay asked hesitantly.
Jason scoffed, moving his hand up to rub his boy's messy curls. "He's a narcissistic bully, but Ash isn't stupid. He kept his big mouth mostly shut, which was a smart move on his part, because if he thought he was going to say anything at all about our kid, Ray would have put him on his sorry ass before I even had a chance to make a move on him."
"You think Ray would knock Ash out if he trash talked me?" Clay asked
"I know he would," Jason said confidently.
"So what did you say to him?" Clay wasn't going to let this go. Jason could see that.
"I asked him if he had any real information about your mother," Jason said. "As in official information. Not just his unsubstantiated nonsense."
"Did he tell you anything?" Clay whispered. "Because when I asked, he got mad and wouldn't talk to me."
"That's because he's a bully, and he knows you're scared of him," Jason said. "I'm not one bit intimidated by him and he knows it. So he was relatively civil. He gave me a name which you already know. He claims she worked at the Bulkhead, and that's where they met. I don't remember her at all, but Sonny recognized her when I showed him a picture."
Clay sat up surprised.
"Sonny knew my mom?" he said, clearly stunned. "Where did you get a picture? How come you didn't tell me this?"
"Ash had a picture of the two of them from a wedding they went to together before you were even born," Jason explained. "He didn't really know a lot about her. He claims they were seeing each other on and off for a few months, but it wasn't serious, and they both saw other people. And I was planning to tell you everything we found out once we had a better idea of who she was and what really happened."
They were both quiet for a few minutes.
"Honey," Jason said. "I wasn't trying to lie or keep anything from you. I know Ash has told you all kinds of crazy things, and I'm not intimidated by him, but I don't trust him or anything he says without proof. I wanted to get everything sorted out and straight before I told you what we know. And I don't want you upset or focused on anything but his deployment until we get back. When we aren't on our A game, bad things can happen. Do you understand that, son?"
Clay nodded. "I'm not mad at you, Jase," he said honestly. "I never really thought much about my mother. I don't remember anything about her, and obviously I'm never gonna know her, so I'm not sad or upset. But, I'm kind of curious now. It's like a mystery or a puzzle we can solve."
"I'm glad you feel that way," Jason said, relieved. "I thought it might make you feel bad to talk about your mom, so I wanted to find out more after we get back in the spring before I sprung all this on you."
"Is that what Sonny was mad about?" Clay asked.
"Sonny was angry in general at everything Ash has done," Jason sighed. "He didn't know your mom well, but he recognized the picture because he's always spent a lot of time at the Bulkhead talking up the ladies. But, when she was with Ash, before you were born, I was still married to Alana. Emma and Mikey were really young, and I rarely had time between work and my family to be hanging out at a bar."
"What about Trent and the other older guys?" Clay asked, clearly interested in this unexpected development.
"Ray wasn't with us yet at that time," Jason explained patiently. "Trent was married to his second wife, and he doesn't recognize her from the picture. Josh was stationed out in California at the time. Metal and Derrick both remembered her being a waitress at the Bulkhead. But they don't know any more about her than Sonny."
"Ash talked about her like some street prostitute," Clay said lightly, as if he was talking about some character on TV, and not a woman who had anything to do with him. "He called her a junkie and a whore who overdosed to get away from me."
"That," Jason said firmly. "Is completely manufactured, ridiculous, and typical Ash Spencer. If your mom was holding a regular job at the Bulkhead, and attending events with Ash, she was most definitely not a prostitute living on the street. And no one overdoses on purpose to escape from a baby. That makes no sense."
"If your mother didn't want you, she could have taken you to any hospital, fire department or police station and left you with no questions asked. But she didn't. So obviously, even if she had problems and wasn't capable of taking care of you the way you have always deserved to be cared for, your mom must have loved you and wanted you," Jason said.
"She must have started using drugs at some point," Clay said. "Because my grandparents in Africa also told me she died from drugs. They blamed Ash for her being an addict and didn't ever want to talk about her."
"Okay Sunshine," Jason said. "I promise we can work on this mystery this spring when we get home. But for now, son, I need us all focused on this mission. Are you going to be able to do that for me?"
"Yes, sir," Clay said. "I understand. I'm going to do my job and not let you down."
"You letting me down is not possible," Jason said, motioning for him to turn back on his belly so he could get him relaxed and ready to sleep through the night. "Turn over if you want me to finish this top shelf back rub I started."
Clay did as directed.
Not five minutes later, he couldn't hold his eyes open any longer.
"Don't stop yet, Jase," Clay mumbled. "I'm not ready for you to go yet."
"I'm not going anywhere until you are sleeping, squirt," Jason said gently. "But I want you to zip up the motormouth and let yourself sleep. It's late, and tomorrow will be a busy day."
"I love you, Boss-Daddy," Clay whispered.
"I love you more, Sunshine," Jason said. Sinking back against the wall, he rubbed his youngest boy's warm back until he was sure that his son was settled and sleeping peacefully.