p style="border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 15.12px; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif, 'GNU Unifont'; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 1.286em auto; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.5; color: #2a2a2a;" align="right"span style="border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-weight: inherit; font-style: oblique; font-size: 15.12px; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"July 2006/span/p
p style="border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 15.12px; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif, 'GNU Unifont'; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 1.286em auto; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.5; color: #2a2a2a;"br /Chad picked up the basics weeks ago but his practices continue every night that he has a shift, often going far to late in the night and being less about dancing than the two of them talking or just sitting together. If Ryan was going to let himself think about it he would think that it's odd that he and Chad are growing so close so fast. Odd that he had been let in on the gossip that Chad was still missing dates with Taylor but never missed a lesson./p
p style="border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 15.12px; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif, 'GNU Unifont'; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 1.286em auto; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.5; color: #2a2a2a;"But he won't let himself do that. Not now at least, not when Chad could show up at any moment and remind him that he is too old to be daydreaming like that. Not by saying as much, Ryan guessed that Chad was absolutely someone who still daydreamed. Just by being real, and present, an in an entirely different dating pool./p
p style="border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 15.12px; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif, 'GNU Unifont'; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 1.286em auto; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.5; color: #2a2a2a;"br /But if he did let himself, he would think about how comfortable Chad makes him. How absolutely disarming his presence is. How Ryan isn't sure he's ever enjoyed someone's company so much. How he knows he should just tell Chad not to come anymore but he can't imagine losing these moments. Who is he to tell someone they are done learning? br /br /But he won't let himself, not while Chad's in a relationship. One he must really care about if he is learning to dance just for her./p
p style="border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 15.12px; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif, 'GNU Unifont'; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 1.286em auto; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.5; color: #2a2a2a;"When their lesson starts that night Ryan is resolved to not let himself daydream,u instead forcing himself to stay fully /Present to being in Chad's arms, rocking slowly around the room to the same classical waltz they'd been using all summer. Present to that same, silent nervousness he'd been trying to decode. Present to Chad crashing at the club when he once again had more than enough time to get home./p
p style="border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 15.12px; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif, 'GNU Unifont'; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 1.286em auto; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.5; color: #2a2a2a;"He lets himself lack presence after Chad fell asleep. Lets himself drift into the warmth he's been feeling both internally and from the sleeping form next to him. Let's himself wonder directly for the first time since the sparks at the baseball game./p
p style="border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 15.12px; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif, 'GNU Unifont'; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 1.286em auto; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.5; color: #2a2a2a;"br /span style="border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-weight: inherit; font-style: oblique; font-size: 15.12px; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;""What if Chad likes me too?"/span/p
p style="border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 15.12px; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif, 'GNU Unifont'; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 1.286em auto; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.5; color: #2a2a2a;"br /Chad picked up the basics weeks ago but his practices continue every night that he has a shift, often going far to late in the night and being less about dancing than the two of them talking or just sitting together. If Ryan was going to let himself think about it he would think that it's odd that he and Chad are growing so close so fast. Odd that he had been let in on the gossip that Chad was still missing dates with Taylor but never missed a lesson./p
p style="border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 15.12px; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif, 'GNU Unifont'; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 1.286em auto; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.5; color: #2a2a2a;"But he won't let himself do that. Not now at least, not when Chad could show up at any moment and remind him that he is too old to be daydreaming like that. Not by saying as much, Ryan guessed that Chad was absolutely someone who still daydreamed. Just by being real, and present, an in an entirely different dating pool./p
p style="border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 15.12px; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif, 'GNU Unifont'; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 1.286em auto; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.5; color: #2a2a2a;"br /But if he did let himself, he would think about how comfortable Chad makes him. How absolutely disarming his presence is. How Ryan isn't sure he's ever enjoyed someone's company so much. How he knows he should just tell Chad not to come anymore but he can't imagine losing these moments. Who is he to tell someone they are done learning? br /br /But he won't let himself, not while Chad's in a relationship. One he must really care about if he is learning to dance just for her./p
p style="border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 15.12px; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif, 'GNU Unifont'; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 1.286em auto; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.5; color: #2a2a2a;"When their lesson starts that night Ryan is resolved to not let himself daydream,u instead forcing himself to stay fully /Present to being in Chad's arms, rocking slowly around the room to the same classical waltz they'd been using all summer. Present to that same, silent nervousness he'd been trying to decode. Present to Chad crashing at the club when he once again had more than enough time to get home./p
p style="border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 15.12px; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif, 'GNU Unifont'; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 1.286em auto; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.5; color: #2a2a2a;"He lets himself lack presence after Chad fell asleep. Lets himself drift into the warmth he's been feeling both internally and from the sleeping form next to him. Let's himself wonder directly for the first time since the sparks at the baseball game./p
p style="border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 15.12px; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif, 'GNU Unifont'; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 1.286em auto; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.5; color: #2a2a2a;"br /span style="border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-weight: inherit; font-style: oblique; font-size: 15.12px; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;""What if Chad likes me too?"/span/p