Spoilers: Takes place post 7.10 All Fall Down

A/N: Had this idea bugging me all day long and finally gave into writing it.

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"It is much easier to become a father than to be one." ~~~~~ Kent Nerburn.

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When Eddie first opened his eyes, he lay there for a few minutes listening to the birds that liked to perch on the tree next door before he remembered what day it was.

Father's Day.

He'd been dreading the coming of this day all week, having been bombarded with too many advertisements and other reminders that the day was coming. He'd stopped listening to the radio to and from work and had also stopped watching TV just so he could avoid many of the reminders. For the most part, it had worked, but he hadn't been able to escape them entirely.

At the 118, he'd tried to avoid the discussions about Father's Day, but he hadn't been entirely successful, and he was tired of the pitying looks made his way from those who know about his situation.

So, of course, this year he had the day off despite putting in for overtime or to cover for someone unable to come in to work, but he highly doubted he would be called in. From something he'd overheard, and the nod Bobby had given Buck before their shift had ended, Eddie suspected there had been some behind the scenes maneuvering to keep him off the schedule.

Eddie appreciated that they cared and were worried about him, but he also wished they would have butted out of this situation. Did they think it was better for him to stay home alone rather than going to work so he could keep his mind off what day it was?

Just as he was not expecting any communication from Christopher today, Eddie had no plans to contact his own father. He knows he well and truly messed up his relationship with his son, but his father had done nothing to help him or to mend things with Christopher.

The relationship between him and his father had slowly been getting better, but apparently one phone call had changed everything between them. Apparently, his parents still thought their son was not allowed to make mistakes. Apparently, only his son Chris was worthy of concern, and not him. Apparently, only Chris needed saving, and not him.

He loves his son with all his heart, with all his mind, and with all his soul, and genuinely wants what's best for him. He absolutely deserves to have Christopher to be angry with him. Deserves for his kid to not want to talk to him.

But did he deserve to have to have his child taken away from him in such a manner? Did he deserve to have his parents to not even try to help them both?

Eddie sighed, knowing he had no answers to those questions, and looked at his clock. It was just after 5 AM.

He had a feeling that staying in bed and trying to sleep the day away would be a no go, so he decided to leave for the day instead. He suspected he would get a visitor or two at some point during the morning to make sure he wasn't wallowing or brooding when he had perfectly legitimate reasons to do so. He wasn't in the mood for visitors and didn't want any pity visits, pity invites, or anyone attempting to cheer him up.

If they wouldn't let him work, then he would go somewhere he could be alone.

He quickly got ready for the day and then packed some extra clothes, not knowing what he wanted to do or where he would end up.

Which reminded him….

Feeling a bit petty about being denied the chance to work, Eddie disabled all the location sharing on his phone and activated the do-not-disturb feature. He had no desire to talk to anyone.

After making and eating some toast, Eddie packed some snacks and other things he thought he might need and was out of his house by 5:45 AM.

Flipping a coin, he ended up going south, driving along the Pacific Coast Highway. He thought about going to San Diego, but he ultimately decided to go somewhere he'd never been with Chris.

Eventually, he ended up in Huntington Beach, where he ended up staying for the rest of the day, only packing up and moving to a new location when he needed to use the restroom.

As he'd expected, it was a long, lonely day, and he still hadn't heard from Christopher.

His thoughts continued to stray towards the mess he was and the mess he had found himself in.

Were you still a father if your only child hated you?

Were you still a father if they didn't want to talk to you or even look at you?

What if Christopher never came back?

Would he still be a father?

Did he even deserve to be a father any longer?

But if he wasn't a father, then….

Who was he?

Eddie sighed, wiped the tears from his face, and continued to watch the father playing soccer with his son just down the beach from him.

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The end.

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Thanks for reading!

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