Rusted Gold

Quick authors note - starting to hate putting an exact time every time I write about Jaune and his time, so starting now it will be 'past' until I need to mention it otherwise.

Chapter 7 - Inner Concerns

Past

Jaune stood outside with the others in front of a house. Well not a house per say but still a home to someone he knows and works along with. He could immediately tell the twins were wondering why we were standing in front of a giant mushroom with them looking around and all, but still he waited until the door opened and out stepped the local homeowner.

"Humm Ah, if it isn't the knight himself. What brings you to my home?" the Herbalist said as he greets him in his usual way in front of his home until he spots the others. "And you brought guests, how very unusual…" He took a moment to observe the people in front of him. "Say…they do look alot like you. Are they from the same place where you are from?"

"The very same, and it's great to see you again herb. It's been awhile since I've been this far out." Jaune said to his colleague.

He has worked alongside with herb over the many years of his stay in the ever after. There were always people here who needed help of some kind and there were some problems that Jaune simply couldn't do, especially if it was something like an ailment of some kind or if people needed to find a part of themselves. Herb was someone that can help with those kinds of problems. But there was one thing that kept him from moving around alot.

His legs.

He was not the fastest thing in the ever after, it also doesn't help that he lives in the deepest part of the dense forest with a lot of paths that anyone can get lost in. Herb didn't mind, he always preferred staying at his home and tending his garden more than anything. Helping others was more a hobby for him and if anyone could find him he was willing to lend a hand and his thoughts.

But over the years he saw him less and less. Unwillingly wanting to go out from the base of the tree and much rather helping out the gems with their training and problems. The gems would also help with the region and its people like leaving landmarks, leading folks to herb and taking remedies he would make to give to those who needed them. It was something that kept both parties busy.

"Yes it sure has, and can I say you look much better than the last time I saw you. But there is something else…" Herb looked into Jaune's eyes. "I feel like you were expecting something different but are left…disappointed."

Jaune stammered back a bit, he almost forgot Herb was someone who can tell how a person was doing with just a glance. "Yeah sorry, it's not with you though, it's something else."

"I know…Why don't we get your folks in? It's been awhile since anyone showed up besides the gems." as they entered he spoke again. "And since you're here why don't I help you people out, I can tell you two are lost."

As the door was closing the cat gave a wide grin.

Present

"We're huntresses," the red one said. Herb can't help but feel like he heard something very similar to that but he can't quite put his hand on it, but for now he will put it at the back of his mind as he had other things to worry about.

"And what exactly does a huntress do?" he asked them. Hoping to get an answer so he can get this moving along. He usually finds this line of questioning to work for him and to get a good look at what they do.

"Fight..a..Monsters? I guess. I'm sorry, I don't see why this matters." The red one spoke.

Herb can only sigh. This was going to be a long day isn't it? Only until recently did he find himself with more work than he had ever before. Something happened, he knew, he just didn't know what it was or why he was not getting help like he usually did. But his assistance was needed everywhere it seemed and the gems were showing up less and less. Now he had 4 humans who wanted his help and now he can't help but think back to when he helped the last batch of humans to show up at his house. The last batch he could tell had problems and he was sure this batch was the same.

He wondered how Jaune was doing, and if he was doing well. Like last time it was starting to be some time since he last saw him. The remedies the order asked him for were getting erratic and lacking focus, it seemed they were having problems on their end which was probably why they are showing up less and less. Maybe it was because of the humans that showed up. He was starting to think humans were just way too complicated for his liking.

"I don't understand how you don't understand," he placed down his stone mortar and picked up a scale. "I am a herbalist, I make medicines and remedies to help others on their journeys," after setting the scale just right, he grabs a jar with the tree's leaves. "It is what I am. So…do you know what a huntress is? Or do you guess?"

"Huntresses are…heroes, we protect those who can't protect themselves." The black one stated. He can't help but catch that last bit of hesitation at the beginning but was just glad he got an answer, but he wanted to make sure if that spoke for all of them.

"Thank you. Now, would you say you are good huntresses?" as he said that he saw the pause and hesitation in their eyes, not just one but all of them.

Herb was starting to believe his earlier assessment on humans was right and he hated the fact that he was right. Why can't they be more simpler? It would make his work more easier.

"Look, can you help us or not?" The yellow one spoke up and he could tell she was more agitated than the rest were.

"I am trying! But you are making this far more complicated than it needs to be. We all have our titles, our roles we play. But in order to help anyone and what they need to be, You have to have a better understanding of what you are now. Both the good things and the bad things especially." Hopefully with what he said he can give them what they want and what he's trying to ask them for.

His hopes were immediately dashed as soon as the white one spoke. "Okay? How do we move around without getting stuck?" he could only sigh and give a dull expression. Tree damn humans.

Ruby sat down with the others around a bonfire with the herbalist facing them. She wondered if this was how it feels to be around a therapist. It certainly felt like one with all the questions about themselves and what they do. It was like being around a teacher again. It felt kinda nice when she thought about it but that's not why they were there now though.

They needed to get to the great tree but it seems like it's getting harder to do that with each passing day. The locals are not a great help either with the herbalist being the prime example. Instead of telling them how or where to go, he instead wants to know what we do and how we are doing with it.

As much as she appreciates the gesture and good nature, they simply didn't have the time for it. They needed to get back home as soon as they could and she didn't want to rely on the cat. But at the same time he was willing to help them and he had information that could help.

But…there was something in her that felt very uncomfortable. Not with him but the questions he asked earlier, and now that she was sitting and was able to think for herself, she was unsure. Unsure how to answer the questions, unsure how she should feel and unsure what she and her team was going to do next. It buzzed around in her mind and it won't stop, unrelenting.

Was she a good huntress? She did not feel like one. Being one was her only goal and she could not see herself being anything different. It was the one thing she likes more than anything and was also the thing that she believes would bring her closer to her mother in a way. But it's been nothing but failure after failure.

She presses Penny's blade closer to her.

And I know I'm sad…no it was more than that. Everything recently has been nothing but awful, absolutely everything. Atlas, Ironwood, the crossroad…penny.

Ruby hugs the blade. Starting to curl her legs closer.

This is the only thing that's left of her isn't it? No body, no crossroad, nothing. And what are we going to do after? I have no idea and I don't think anyone else does either.

She felt a hand on her shoulder and she did not bother looking to know who it was. It felt nice, even though it felt cold but before they could lean an arm around her, the herbalist started.

"This won't take long, just answer the question," after getting their attention the bundle of leaves he was holding dropped into the fire and colorful smoke moved all around them. It was thick and filled the room in no time. "What…are…you."

As soon as the smoke reached her face it was nauseous and made her head swirl. All the color played around in front of her, blurring her vision and she could not help but cough as she breached it in. she could hear her team doing the same, the hand that was on her shoulder left. She whipped her head to the side to try to see her sister but she was not there.

She tried to get her bearings together and the colored smoke seemed to move away from her as her vision began to clear. "Are you sure you know? You have to be sure what you are. And what…you are…going to…be." His voice echoed across the smoke. She could hear her teammates across the smoke but they sounded far, just on the edge of her hearring. As her vision cleared she looked ahead and found someone standing in front of her. Her eyes went wide but she could not stare for too long before she had to look away.

"So…are you a huntress? Like the ones we read about in books." It was her. Not just her but one before she even left for beacon. Standing in front of her like an ever haunting presence. Ruby looked up at her for a second before she had to look away. Seeing herself smile was something she could not stomach, with everything recently it felt almost wrong. Why did seeing herself smiling feel wrong?

"I guess?…I don't know." her voice was shallow and low like a whisper, she hated how defected she sounded. When she finally gathered the courage to look up at herself, the smile was gone and was replaced with a frown.

"You guess? They always knew what to do, didn't they? They always had a plan, always never backed down from anything that was thrown their way and no matter what, in the end, they always won. Can you say the same?" Her words were like daggers to Ruby, each statement reminded her just how far from being like a true huntress she was. She had no excuse. No reply she could say that felt right.

"Life isn't like in the books." ruby said to herself.

"You're right," younger ruby squatted down to her level. "Life never worked out like in the books, but that's why we are here aren't we? So that we can try to make it like in the books, up to us to find and fix everything to make it better. Our sister, our friends, the whole world…Up to us. And just us."

Ruby's eyes started to sting and her hold on Penny's sword was starting to hurt her hands from her grip. "What do you want me to say? That I shouldn't have bothered?" her voice was starting to crack.

"Why should we keep fighting? We know what we are up against and they already have 2 of the 4 relics. When you get back, what will be waiting? An invincible monster that will take everything…just like Penny."

Ruby's eyes went wide and she held the sword as close as humanly possible. She wanted this to stop.

"Penny was the best, but even she failed. Or… did we fail her."

Ruby's eyes were watering now. She was hugging her legs with the green sword between them. Was it her fault? She did everything to help her. But it was not enough was it?

"It seems unfair, none of this seems fair." younger ruby stands back up.

"What was I supposed to do? I don't even know what I'm going to do." ruby called out, trying her best to hold herself together, hoping for something.

"Well that depends on you. What do you want to do? Do you even want to be Ruby Rose when you leave?" she left that question in the air.

Ruby was unresponsive, this whole thing was overwhelming, and not just this but everything. Her and her friends were doing something seemingly impossible and with no clear end in sight except their deaths if this keeps going the way it was. She coiled in on herself.

"So what will it be?" Young ruby stood there until she faded as the cat jumped through her and blew the smoke away.

"GET AWAY FROM HER" the cat yelled to them as he stood in front of them and the herbalist.

The herbalist coughed the smoke away as the room cleared. "Oh, that was a bit much and very strong."

"Oh herb… look at yourself. Your done. You are supposed to helping others find their way but it seems like you lost your own." The cat walked closer to him. "Let me help, take a bit of me." The cat placed a paw on him and a small glimmer of light moved up though the herbalist. As soon as it reached his chest it disappeared and he took a deep breath.

The herbalist's eyes seem to change and he looks back to the girls. "I do apologize, I always was a workaholic. Lately it's been a bit much. Huntresses was it? Hmm…Oh. That's where I heard it." As soon as he came to that realization, the world seemed to open up below him and eat him whole.

Past

Jaune stood straight as he tried to adjust his eyes to the mist and the smoke all around him. As the colors back away, giving him much needed breathing room, he can't help but yell at himself.

Damn it! He should not have bothered taking part in one of Herb's sessions/remedies. Well it is true that they are very effective at what they do and it does help the residents, it leaves the mind open and it seems to manifest any problems whoever breathes in the smoke so the problems they are facing can speak to the recipient. But Jaune was starting to believe it was never meant for humans, the problems they face were always going to be complicated no matter what, especially if you are comparing them to the Afterians. The last time he tried this was many years ago, back then it left him in a very bad place.

As Jaune coughed one last time, lightly hitting his chest to get any smoke out of his system, a voice spoke up.

"Well it's certainly been some time since the last time we talked, right Jaune?" Jaune tried to not look at him, but knew if he wanted this to end, he had to at least hear what he had to say. Jaune turned around slowly and then had to look at himself.

He stood tall in front of him. But unlike last time, this time he was older, older than he was at beacon but maybe not older than he was when he was at atlas. He had a look at himself from what was maybe a lifetime ago. A bright expression to his dull look, colorful clothes to his rusted exterior and overall looked like he had a purpose, unlike himself.

"So how has it been? I hope it was for the better but I can tell it's not." Young Jaune looked him over but was disappointed at what he found. "You really need to have a look at yourself. The last time I thought it was bad but this…It's time to end this, don't you think?"

Jaune stared at himself, wondering where this was going to lead him. It was true he was not doing good lately but that was before he met the twins. For the first time in a long time he felt like he was doing some good. And that last comment, he had a sickening feeling where he knew where he got that from. "What do you want? If you can't tell I'm doing better now, and me waiting had given results! The twins are living proof of that."

"Yeah, keep telling yourself that. But…if they are showing up now. How long do you think our friends will take? Months, years, DECADES! You had your faintest hope, that gut feeling that if you just wait they will show, but now it's gone! There is no hope and don't you lie to me! You know it's true."

Jaune tried his best to not think about it, to push this feeling at the back of his mind. But with him here it was impossible. That thought was always at the back of his head when traveling with them but he wanted to keep it buried. He did not want to lose the only good feeling he had in recent times. And he knew if he gave any thoughts to this it would only lead to despair. "I have been doing fine with it dying, I just have to wait a bit longer."

"Well listen to you! And what are you going to do when they leave? Go back to being alone with no purpose! How long do you honestly think you can keep this up!" Younger Jaune yelled at him.

Jaune honestly did not know, and that scared him. He did not like being alone and thinking about it was making a pit in his stomach. The last few weeks were great in his opinion. But he knew it will end at some point and he'll be back to waiting. "We know it works. We…just have to wait a bit longer. Just a bit longer." he tries to tell himself.

"WHO CARES ANYMORE! There's no way home! There's nothing to fight for! There's no more honor…Come to think of it, the only honorable thing to do now is to be-"

Jaune quickly shuts him up by yelling at him. "QUIET" he did not need to go down there.

"NO! I WON'T SPEND ETERNITY IN THIS FORSAKEN PLACE!" Young Jaune steps close until he is almost face to face.

"What do you want." Jaune growled out.

"I want it to end." his younger self took a step back and changed his expression. "Aren't you tired? Wouldn't it be great to be free from all of this waiting? And you know what you can do to end this, and still have some purpose. Just be the knight... and drink the poison."

Jaune was reeling with his thoughts, that was an option wasn't it? To follow the path that was laid out for him and seek it to the end. Even though it was leading him to his death. But it left him with a purpose like no other. All he had to do was forsaken himself. Leave Jaune behind. Let him die.

"You won't abandon your purpose right Jaune? To help others? They need you but not Jaune Arc."

"No." Jaune did not want to leave this world, this life like that. What will his family think? His friends? He had a purpose, he just…needed to wait. "I will help them, all of them. As Jaune Arc. I just need to find a way."

"Hmmm. We will see, we will see." younger Jaune crossed his arms and stared at him.

Authors notes

Jesus that took some time to write and I think this was pretty good all things considered. My longest chapter yet chock-full with inner turmoil and problems. Had a lovely time writing this but had to take breaks here and there to get it just right. Did not want to burn myself and write anything I think was lackluster. This is much more for me than just writing for the sake of it. Want to give life to this story and I just love a good drama.

Alright news of recent times. Life has been a bit busy lately but it is good, I just got my first vehicle and it's very nice. The games showcase showed last weekend and I'm excited for 2 games coming next year. A game called expedition 33 and it just looks fucken cool, the story sounds great as well from the little things we were shown. And of course the new DOOM. you can shoot skulls!…SKULLS! Like come on, it does not get any cooler than that when killing demons.

If you couldn't tell from the last couple of chapters, I love games and think it's the best pastime ever.

Lets see here, I also used scenes from the show for half of this chapter but I like writing about what people are thinking so there is that and I also used another show for Jaune's inner torment. And it works out perfectly for what I want. Wonder if you guys can figure where I got some of the dialogue from. Will maybe tell in the next chapter if I remember too. And just like in the tags I want to focus on Ruby and Jaune, mostly on Jaune for it makes some great writing.

And woo boy was this chapter something, some of you may figure out what will happen next. And for context I just need to write one more new chapter before I can use the other 2 I made earlier. About damn time too, I did not think it was going to take this long but as I write I want to put more in. and we are just about half way done. Well anyways see you folks in the next one.