Author's Note: Salutations to all who have connected to the fifteenth installment of Drifters! Buckle up because this chapter is on the longer side, and definitely picks up speed towards the end. Without too much more to say this go around though, onto the reviews!
JCINNABAR: The Vees dynamic is an incredibly interesting one to write. From my point of view, none of the Vees, while leagues above the average Sinner, are actually that strong in terms of physical power compared to the other Overlords.
They have incredible influence over Hell to be sure, and that's not a strength to be underestimated. Nor is the fact that the three Vee, despite calling each other out on numerous occasions, are really the only Overlords to be in a permit state of corporation. An example of said strength being their ability to remind one another that there is quite a power gap between them and some other beings… and pissing off one at the top would be a very bad idea XD.
PS- No joke, I actually had a sore throat a couple days ago and the ginger tea with honey worked great! Thanks man!
Gamer of Action 44D: To Vel, there are no such things as happy accidents. Just convenient opportunities! Although Val certainly did his best to crash and burn the one Angel presented.
But when determining how much of Vel's snap at Val was due to her plan to cause a rift between Angel and Charlie? Due to how much she wanted to use the opportunity to gain Charlie trust? Due to how much she genuinely didn't want to risk pissing off a larger threat (aka Lucifer)? Or due to how much she was just genuinely disturbed at Val creeping on Charlie? Well, as cliche as it may sound, you'll have to keep reading to find out ;)
PS- Can't say it will go exactly as it does in the show, but if I was a betting man, I'd bet on AngelDusl as a shipping.
PPS- Unfortunately for Nester… he's got to buckle up, because this chapter is 70% about him and his quest for everybody's favorite demonic pig XD
As always thank you guys for the comments! But without further adieu, besides my traditional apology revolving around any grammatical mistakes that may pop up along the way, I welcome you back too….
Drifters
A Hazbin Hotel Fanfiction
Chapter 15
Pig Poachers
Nester had felt safer in the pitch darkness of the dumpster than he did under the dim light of the setting Pentagram. And not for the first time, he wondered if he'd be able to convince himself to head back to the hotel when it eventually set.
Outside of Vaggie's disappointment, or worse Husk's passive aggressive wrath, the bird was quick to conclude he couldn't even trick himself into believing that excuse.
Especially when the mud the pig painted onto the street didn't even fade in the approaching darkness. If anything the dried stains sparkles were becoming more noticeable in it.
Sure, that technically meant his job was easier to complete. But would that even be worth it if the stress of following the swine killed him.
If the horns in Fat Nugget's head made him part demon, then his twist, haphazard, and chaotic tracks he left behind proved he had some fox in him as well.
For whether it was on purpose or not, the piglet's choice to weasel its way through every decrypt alleyway in a ten block radius certainly slowed down his purser.
Admittedly, it wasn't that the corridors were too cramped for Nester to squeeze through. Rather, in the ever dispersing light, the avian had to spend a good half minute psyching himself up to follow them into the unknown.
It was a slow process, and grew slower as the light of evening lost more and more of itself to the approaching night.
The beige feathered Sinner had been forced into this task with more fear than hope to begin with, and what little had remained of the ladder flickered away when the street lamps flickered on.
Each set of footprints the lights shined upon, conflicted with the directional arrow the previous one was heading. And rather than lead him to a convergent destination, the avian was convinced that any clue he followed would simply take him to a different starting line.
Yet, without much of a choice, Nester waded after the first, of what he feared would be many, trail in vain.
And to make matters worse, the coming of night also meant the end of the work day. As the traffic of the street quickly trickled into a riptide of demons.
The grounded bird found himself having to hug the storefront coast. The added footfall slowed him down dramatically, as the crowd not only blocked his path, but also his line of sight on the one he needed to take.
Ping ponged by opening doors on one side, and battered by the tide on the other, Nester tried his best, or at least what he thought was his best, to keep the search alive. Which with no visual, meant any direction that wasn't backwards was fair game.
Unfortunately, within ten minutes, the worker's commute had grown so rough, Nester had not only lost the pig's trail, but his own sense of direction as well.
One intended step around the first corner was all it took for him to be swept up by the rush hour into ten involuntary ones away from it.
'Stop stop stop stop!' Nester thoughts increased in crescendo. As his fear over what would happen when he came home empty handed was replaced with the terror of not coming home at all.
He tried to slow down, and was immediately accelerated forward by the hundreds of shoulders that rammed past him.
With little choice, Nester followed the flow. His survival instinct left his mind with just enough adrenaline to keep it from going blank. Which would have been a good thing… if he was able to focus on anything other than how fucked he was.
The bird's own panic fought against his arms journey to pull out his phone. Outside of the horror that would come with it being knocked from his hands in this chaos, the brunette's terror reasoned to itself that nobody he called would be able to hear him over the footfall. And at this point, his deadweight wings had a better chance of taking flight than his trembling fingers had of composing a coherent text.
His safety laid with time now, and it proved an anti-hero at best. For by the time enough passed for the crowd to disperse, who knows where'd he'd end up. Or how far from the hotel he'd be, let alone Fat Nugget.
Out of reach, he feared at what was going to happen when the billboards above transitioned from the familiar Imp assassination scam to foreign-
Nester's eyes widened. And his pupils narrowed a scope onto the horned 'M' of the company his waiter had denounced. And if the advertisement was nearby then that meant…
A quick turn of his head revealed the illuminated glow of Canine Cuisine. Fast approaching, the flow of traffic was no more than three arm lengths away, and just past the window at a mere five was a familiar rat bussing tables.
"Stewie?" Nester questioned the shock of his own answer. Then realized the foolishness of doing so when the crowd would have him speeding past it in a matter of minutes, "Stewie!"
Nester flared his hands up, and in vain tried to shuffle towards the restaurant. His display and shout were soon drowned out by the annoyed quips of a sea that beat him back into place.
Unable to fight, Nester quickly succumbed to the force. His words barely made it to the glass, let alone through it. Yet, the same violence that had beat it down, also provided his lifeline hope.
The percussion from the brief scene he caused hit the glass window a fly. One whose buzz twitched its occupants head upwards. Where his vexed curiosity at an unwanted pest, soon morphed into one of genuine surprise when he saw the gnat was actually the flailing form of Nester.
The bird saw the rat blink at him once, as if to confirm the sight. When he did so a second time, Nester then frantically threw his arms around to confirm he was in peril.
When that became apparent, Stewie quite literally stopped what he was doing and rushed outside.
"Holy shit, Nester?!" The rodent's shout followed the slammed door he shut on his wide eyed boss, "Where are you going?!"
"Your place!" Even as Nester yelped the destination, the tide around him didn't recede. Which added to the panicked look he gave the mouse, "Please!"
"Oh… shit, yeah." Stewie cursed, as he ran alongside the crowd that now passed the store, "Let me just- um- hold on!"
Nester saw the rat have a hard time finding a place to enter the riptide. And the bird realized the rodent's small frame was even less equipped to bulldoze his way through it than his own scrawny build.
"Crap… dude you're gonna have to meet me halfway-"
"You fucking idiots!" a growl plucked Nester's hope away.
The fanged sight of Roadie filled the bird with a sense of dread.
"Boss, I'm trying to-"
"Have me waste my night wringing your trampled asses into a bucket!"
The bird's fear was replaced with confusion at the canine's use of plural. And the rodent went through a similar emotional rollercoaster when his boss lifted him by the legs, and outstretched him over the crowd towards Nester.
"What are you doing-"
"Fucking land fishing!" Roadie snapped, "Now grab him before I remember I hate all things seafood!"
The street didn't provide the space Stewie needed to run his mouth, so without delay he planked his body linear to the ground, and outstretched both his arms.
"Come on!"
Luckily, Stewie's order was a command Nester had already heard twice. With a jump forwards, the bird's single handle clamped down on both the rat's wrist.
His moment of joy at grabbing the lifeline morphed to dread when he saw the rod bend towards him rather than away.
"Wings!" Roadie gritted his words as well his feet into the sidewalk, "Unfurl your stupid fucking wings!"
Unlike when Nester asked, the appendages actually listened to the restaurant owner's order.
Like an explosion, the feathered kites pushed out a cavity in the crowd.
Before a stream of fists came down to fill it, a groan from the coyote reeled him and Stewie up. And the air left behind pushed beneath his wings just enough, that he shot forth from the crowd a short lived paraglider.
One whose escape from the rough sea, was in the form of a crashed landing onto Stewie and the sidewalk.
"…ow." the rat squeaked in pain once the adrenaline of the moment subsided.
"O-oh shit, I'm so sorry!" Nester scrambled himself off his two rescuers.
"You better be." Roadie growled.
The canine's feet dragged him up, his hands dragged Stewie to his side, and his eyes dragged Nester to his glare.
"Jesus man, what are you even doing out right now?" Stewie offered with far kinder curiosity.
"And know that I dragged your ass to safety because I assume the answer has something to do with the princess!"
"Um…" Nester gulped when he saw Roadie's teeth flared at the answer he didn't want to hear, "Kind of. I'm looking for a runaway pig on her behalf..."
The bird hoped the reworded truth would work for the Sinner before him. If nothing else, the coyote's anger was replaced with a deadpan expression.
"A pig to cook?" the chef asked.
"… a-a pet actually."
"Then you're shit out of luck, cause I only deal with swines when they're fried." The coyote snarled.
Nester didn't have time to be disappointed by the answer… mostly because he was afraid Roadie would kick him back into the crowd if he did.
Stewie faced furrowed with more empathy. And his mouth opened for what Nester thought would be an apology, and the confirmation that they couldn't offer anymore help.
However, just as the rodent's mouth opened, his eyes snapped with the inspiration of a new script his brain worked up,
"What about your suppliers boss?" Stewie chirped, "They're always posting about the latest FF."
"FF?" Nester cocked his head.
Stewie raised a hand to answer, before the sigh from his boss turned it into a suggestion.
"We can show him when you go inside to check." the rat's sly smile was seen through immediately, "You know, since we'd hate for the princess to lose her pet."
The follow up remark stopped Roadie's sigh mid breath. As the slag of his shoulder couldn't lower the money bars in his eyes.
"Alright, let's take a look." the owner motioned towards his door. And when his back turned, and Stewie shot Nester a fuel thumbs up, the bird nervously smiled.
As he followed them inside, he decided to keep the fact Fat Nugget wasn't actually Charlie's pet to himself.
XxxxxxX
The night sky of Hell shone with darkness. Yet beneath the void lit light, one small and one scrawny figure scampered over to stand above the brown hue of two crescent moons.
"God… you weren't kidding about the tracks." Stewie quietly gasped, "Does the princess keep him in a mud room made of actual mud or something?"
"… I… don't know." Nester honestly stated back.
One of the few truths he's actually squeaked out this evening.
He felt guilty having only gotten Roadie and the mouse's assistance after leading them astray. But with the coyote having loaned Stewie out to help locate Fat Nugget, Nester reasoned to himself that whether the pig was Charlie's pet or not, she'd be thrilled to know two souls of Hell had helped the hotel out in its time of need.
… he'd just make sure to tell her that before she came to shoot the restaurant's commercial.
Especially since the information Roadie had provided actually proved instrumental in leading Nester back to Fat Nugget's trail.
FF's, or Food Falls as Stewie and Roadie explained to him, revealed two things to Nester.
The first was that animals, evidently, could go to Hell too… and that the slaughter houses they were taken to when captured were more like recycling centers. Because the overwhelming portion of the city's meat production didn't come from new arrivals… but rather the regenerated corpses of old ones that the plants harvested from the sewer.
A fact that led Nester's to his second revelation, his sudden fascination with a vegetarian lifestyle.
Regardless of the moral dilemma all the meat he had eaten down here gave him, Nester was, if not thrilled, then relieved to know the FF community were the one who dedicated themselves to hunting down new critters rather than composting the old.
And a quick look through their chats revealed the location of Fat Nugget's marking, and the knowledge the hunters didn't want to pursue a portion size so small.
Which, in theory, hopefully meant Nester and Stewie's search for a pet wasn't on the heels of somebody else's hunt for a meal.
"Guess we shouldn't question the gift horse anymore then we should kiss it." the smaller demon shrugged, "Pig's got even shorter legs than me. Shouldn't be too hard to catch up to."
"You say that, but…" Nester gestured a hand to the marks they began to track.
Stewie craned his head up towards the motion, only to be met with the thousands of misaligned clues his vision saw on the way up.
"Oh… well..." the criss-crossed red strings Fat Nugget had stitched all over the city knotted the two improvised detectives' minds, "Shit."
"A-at least if we see any, we'll know how close he is…" Nester offered meekly.
"Won't find out standing around." the rodent sighed a smile.
It was hard for the avian to tell if Stewie was annoyed that his boss essentially volunteered his down time away to help Nester, or if the rodent was happy because this was the closest thing to relaxation he could get in a twenty four hour shift.
"So," as they started to draft behind the markings, Stewie broke Nester's train of thought before the awkward silence could settle into an unbreakable wall, "What caused the pig to bolt in the first place?"
"Loyally to-" the bird stopped himself just in time, "t-the hotel. One of the guests left in a panic, and Fat Nugget didn't want to wait for him to come back to see if he was okay."
"… the pig's name is Fat Nugget?" the rat snickered. His pause didn't stop when he did to follow the opportunity of the poorly named swine, "As rough as my boss is, you're lucky you ran into him before the princess. She probably would have named you Slender Pork."
Nester's neck craned the wrong animal, before a suppressed hyena rose from his throat to straighten out his understanding.
"Yeah… yeah I guess I am." the bird ruffled a chuckle. The small glow of laughter made the glow at the end of the alleyway Stewie lead them down a nightlight, "Probably would have just given her my real name by accident. Although, if you guys didn't kick me out, who knows if I would have met Charlie at all."
"Don't tell boss that," Stewie crawled beneath the opening of the chain fence that blocked the street, and Nester's wings fluffed out telling his arms to start climbing, "He'll think causing your accidental run in with royalty was a deliberate networking move on his end to get you a job."
The bird hands cursed his feathers with each muscle twitch, as he scurried up the barrier.
"Next thing you know, he'll demand fifty percent of your salary as compensation."
"Pfht!" Nester turned the grunt he used to hoist himself over the apex of his climb into something more uplifting. With Stewie's comedic commentary on the job, the bird pushed himself off the fence and found it easy to glide down on the butterflies that left his stomach, "S-should I warn Charlie that she'll have to pay to be an actress in her favor to Roadie?"
When Nester cautiously lobbed up his return to keep the back and forth going, Stewie's cheeks puffed out.
"No, if only because he doesn't want to go through the hassle of having to make a contract for a Royal-" a gust of air spewed forth from the mouse when he saw the avian float down in front of him, "Woah! Look who's flying! I mean… you have wings so I probably should've guessed they worked."
"Well, you would have guessed wrong." Nester flicked his ear quiver till his smile lopsided in that direction, "They can't lift me off the ground or anything. And until I can control where I land with them…"
He awkwardly glanced back behind the rodent… where he had meant to end up.
"The best they can do is delay a fall." The bird wings twitched, but the pulsating pain from his primate appendages' sour mood kept them quiet by daring them to complain.
"That's still really awesome…" Stewie's eyes downcast back to the trail. His words shuffled after it along with his legs, "You actually got something cool when you died. I had to give up three feet."
The avian's brow furrowed in guilt as they zig zagged along the street, until his eyebrows raised in shock at the idea Stewie had been above the six foot mark before his death.
"I guess my sniffer works better too," the rodent continued down the street. And the further they went along, the faster it became apparent they were taking the scenic route back to the road they had come from, "Which would be awesome if half my job didn't consist of throwing out crap."
"I-I'm sure there's other cool things mouses have going for them." Nester stuttered.
"Like what?" The rodent shook his head, and revealed a smirk to the bird. That, if nothing else, told Nester he didn't have to think himself into an aneurysm to cheer the smaller Sinner up.
Luckily, as he looked away unable to conjure up a silvering lining in his head, the answer reflected in the Doorman's eyes.
"Like the fact you don't have to climb a different fence to get to the same location."
Stewie's eyes followed Nester's pointed finger till they shut to suppress his amusement at seeing the tracks had brought them to an alleyway ten feet from the one they cut through. And that the pig had punctured another hole in the chain links base.
"Wish I could be short right now." Nester sighed much to the rat's glee. The ladder scurried beneath while the bird's wings further infuriated his arms by being quite literal dead weight added to their workout.
"For the off chance you have to find the pig again?"
"… y-you say that as if I know he won't run away again." Nester groaned exhausted.
Hands on his hip, Stewie watched from the road as the paraglider soar down to the same starting line.
"Fair enough," the rodent snickered, before his red eyes scanned the sidewalks. The pupils heading past the tracks, rather than along them, "Besides, we've both got brains we should probably use if we want to make this easier on ourselves."
"What do you mean?"
"We should've taken the extra second to see if the tracks ended anywhere before we started following them."
"Huh-" Nester pants pushed his hands off his knees… and the sight of what Stewie revealed almost made him wish he remained ignorantly winded, "Y-you've got to be joking."
No more than two hours earlier, Nester had looked above Stewie's fingers to find the rodent at the shop across the street… unaware that if he had simply looked down when the two had come out of the restaurant, they wouldn't have had to traverse half a mile to find the trail… because the tracks had ended on the other side of the road.
"I-I probably shouldn't say this," Nester sucked in air till his puffed chest lifted his back straight, "but I really hope Fat Nugget came here after we had left."
Stewie snorted at Nester as the two walked up to the finish line… of the mud clues at least.
Because as the bird and rat skittered to a stop, the swine's foot prints didn't seem to line up.
"Shouldn't they have kept going?" Stewie asked when he saw the dry mud positioned as if the pig walked with the grain of the sidewalk.
"Maybe it crumbled away?" Nester's attempt at an answer was shot down by his own eyes before the rodent's head even shook.
"Looks just as clear as all the others… no signs of it having faded." The rat kneeled down to get a closer look, "If anything, more of this crud dripped off."
Nester pupils focused in. Sure enough, large brown spots dotted the concrete.
"Huh… wonder why there's more here?"
"Probably because he wasn't tall enough for it to fall off his chin-"
The rat's words shattered with the bird's pupils. As both realized the swine appeared to have been swooped up. Eyes glued to the splatter paint, they slowly followed the short path of stains. The highest density of which ended, not in the street, but at a building door.
Their head's craned back, a familiar billboard filled their eyes. Hesitantly, their eyes lowered themselves down three stories, as their feet walked them to the window their vision waited.
Inside, their pupils traversed across gray oak desks, monotone striped walls, and even a bland water cooler.
Whose normal appearance would have made this office look like it belonged on Earth… if not for the fact a horned pig's mouth had been forced to the tap.
Held in place by a gap toothed woman, who whistled to the pet. Another individual, a tuxedo adorned man, looked on at the scene concerned. While a third sat behind his desk. Lazically swiveling back and forth in his chair, as he swirled a sidearm between his fingers.
Nester's emotions became caught up in their own whirlwind. Not just because he had found Fat Nugget in distress. Not just because the three people causing it were all four feet tall, crimson skinned, and had a pair of horns as sharp as their speared tails. And not even because the three devils were each armed to the teeth with blades, axes, and guns.
No… Nester stared blankly ahead because the corner of his eye saw the small smile Stewie grew, and realized he was going to have to go in there.
"Follow my lead dude," the rodent grinned, "we're about to scam them scammers."
XxxxxxX
"No! I'm not going to shoot the pork fucker because I agree with Moxie! I'm gonna shoot it to because it's a fucking eye sore-"
Whelp, it was a good thing Nester was frozen in fear by the fact Stewie had dragged him through the door with absolutely no indicator what their plan was. Because the sentence he just heard, mixed with the sight of a scarred imp in a trench coat motioning his pistol in the vague direction of the pig's ass he was supposed to save, would have triggered a nuclear powered panic attack.
Although, as three hellish creatures turned their sharp snarls at each other into a trifecta of awkward stares towards him and the proud mouse in front… Nester wasn't going to count out a meltdown from happening.
"Oh great!" the hairless imp snarked out, "See what you've done Millie! Now I've got to shoot it because your boy toy's right!"
The well tailored imp, who Nester could only assume was the boy toy/Moxie, opened his mouth and arms wide in bewildered offense.
If the taller demon cared… he certainly didn't show it as he sprung to his feet, dusted off his coat, and marched across the room.
"Spotted turd's already making us look bad in front of customers."
The female imp Millie, if Nester followed the chaos that spawned their names, shot the white scarred one a dirty look. Her hands clutched Fat Nugget tighter, and Nester stiffened when the water logged pig looked ready to burst.
"I'm sorry," the tall imp's voice went up an octave and turned towards Nester and Stewie. Sauntering up to the ladder, the demon offered a hand with the posture and smile of a con artist, "Employees found a piece of bacon outside and dragged it in like it's our new freaking house cat."
"Sir, I never wanted to let the pig in-"
"That's so weird, I don't remember asking for your FUCKING take on it Moxie!" the long horned imp stitched the white haired one's mouth closed. Before he turned a forced apologetic smile to Stewie, "Good help, so hard to find. Now, how may I assist you gentlemen this fine hellish night?"
Stewie's smug smile carried all the confidence Nester lacked.
"We were-" too bad the fowl mouth imp interrupted the mouse's attempt to unleash it.
"Hoping we can find the pricks back on earth who sent you here!" the demon flared his coat nearly as fast as his quick draw lips, "Well, you've come to the right place. Blitz is the name, the 'O' is silent of course, and murders my game! Now, let's get down to business! How'd those fuckers off you? Let me guess, rat poison mixed in your drink, sprinkled on your sandwich, coated on the cock you were sucking? Guess it doesn't matter, you ate it up, and now you're here!"
Blitz waved his own train of thought off… and the wind it produced blew across two bewildered faces.
"… I didn't die of rat poisoning." Stewie droned out.
"… there's an 'O' in Blitz?" Nester, quite literally, stated the only thing on his mind.
Remarkably, the German offensive decided to tackle that matter first.
"A strangled, mutilated, and now very mute 'O', yes." Blitzø confirmed with aggressive murderous hand gestures. Which ended abruptly when his eyes reflected Nester disturbed face rather than whatever illusion he had his fingers wrapped around, "But enough about me, let's get back to you. I suppose we don't need to know how you were killed, just tell us who did it, and my associates and I will pop up to the mortal plane,
The demon mocked out his words as he walked to fingers in air, before he turned them into the barrel of a gun and flicked them up.
"and pop a lead bullet in your mortal enemies ass."
"Well actually, it'll be a Hell sulfur and brass alloy round," Moxie hand raised, and explained his words as if they didn't just confuse Nester more, "since they've long since faced out lead bullets due to-"
"Moxie?" Blitzø's voice took on an eerie silence.
"Yes sir?"
"Please shut up before whatever stupid metal in my chamber splits you in half ass to throat." the long horned demon's smile and cheerful words managed to make Moxie as silent as his 'O', "That's better. Now, tell me who we're killing."
"W-well… that's just the thing." Stewie used the dysfunction of the situation to make his pause more natural, "I don't know who killed me. I was hoping you guys could… find out."
Nester's face filled with panic for a moment, as he looked to see if the mouse was just saying an excuse to garner the imps attention, or if the excuse was an errand to send their attention elsewhere.
All the bird got was a white furred finger that shooed him in the direction of the water fountain. Which he hoped meant Stewie wasn't actually gonna have these Imps go on a hit just so they could grab a pig. I mean, this whole guns for hire business was a scam, but it still didn't sit well with Nester to bank on their mission statement being false.
"… hmm, we're more hitmen than detectives," Blitzø rubbed his chin, before he shrugged, "but if we can find a target, I'm sure we can find a culprit just as easily."
'Those are two very different objectives.' Nester winced inside his head, as he tried his best to shuffle his way to the water fountain.
"So, what's our search area looking like? City, suburb, Christ on a stick if my weekend gets taken up because you're from some hick place in the country."
"City… you guys," Stewie's eyes shifted to the female demon still clutched to the pig Nester inched towards, "and gal will need to go to a city."
When he trailed off, silence, stares, and gulps of unwanted water filled the room. Lucky, all of it but the former was zoned in on the mouse.
"Does this city have a name?" Moxie voiced up.
"Yes…"
Another wave of awkwardness followed, before Stewie tried to cough it away into his hand.
"Its name is Ne-", he elongated, and Nester followed the rat's eyes into Millie. As he realized he was trying to see if he could get an reaction out of her that could separate her from the piglet, "Neeeww Yo-"
Nester inhaled his mouth, and made it to the fountain. Having had far more luck reaching the destination then Stewie did in getting it lowered.
"YoOrle-"
"New Orleans?" The suited imp finished with a raised eyebrow. And Nester felt his mouth go dry.
"New Orleans!"
Until a southern draw dropped the swine into a super soaker. Whose impact with the ground squirted a tsunami onto the bird's face.
If Mollie cared her prized pig had fallen, her clenched teeth biting her fist in excitement certainly didn't.
"The city of romantic steamboat rides, beignet, and-"
"Mosquitos." Moxie interrupted, before the other 'M' returned the favor by jumping on his back in joy.
"Mardi Gras!"
Nester watched as the female imp got into the Louisiana spirit by tackling Moxie to the floor and thrashing him around like an alligator in a death roll. The displays of both panic and absolute excitement were so at odds, the avian was honestly a bit mesmerized.
Which lasted until the high pitched grunt of a mouse caught his attention, and motioned it back on the pig vomiting a river.
"For God sakes, we're supposed to be professionals here." Blitzø mumbled, and when he went to pinch his eyes closed, Nester grasped the pig skin and tucked it in his arm.
Before the demon could open his lids, the bird turned and walked back towards Stewie. Who motioned for him to just keep his stroll going for the exit.
"I promise, we're far more effective as killing machines than receptionist-"
"I'm sure you are." Stewie stated as Nester slowly moved past him towards the door. For once his feathers seemed beneficial in hiding all the nervous sweat that slicked his skin, "But, you know what, maybe I should really think about who killed me before I place the hit. Just to make your guys' job easier. So… I'll just come back tomorrow-"
"Woah." Blitzø's voice reached out further than his arms trying to turn Stewie around, "Don't worry about details like that. The job might take longer, but it's our work not yours. Besides, I don't pay these shitheads by the hour, so they can work twenty four seven and it's no skin off my back."
"Oh… well, that's good to know. But let me just try to narrow it down anyway." Stewie's words hit Nester back a push to scoot him along faster.
"What about your friend though?" Blitzø words slowed the avian down, as he tried not to act like he was committing a… Well, it wasn't really a crime, more reverse pet napping, but the principle of not acting suspicious still applied, "Can you really look me in the eyes and say you don't have somebody you want offed?"
Nester's face paled at the very notion, and luckily the truth was all he needed to mask his escape. Turning around he stated it simply enough.
"O-of course not-"
"What are you doing with our pig?"
A smack echoed across the office, as the hand Stewie struck his own forehead with froze everybody in place. Unfortunately, Fat Nugget's location in Nester's arms just so happened to be where the lead Imp's fingers pointed… and where the female one's eyes widened under the broken pressure of her rising blood.
"R-run?" Nester's stutter tapped the silence.
"Run." Stewie's confirmation shattered it.
Not thinking twice, the two Sinner's burst out the door into the night. The sound of loaded magazines followed, all to the tune of an ear splitting war cry.
"You yellow belly pig poachers! I'll have your heads!"
XxxxxxX
Velvette hardly cared enough about her time alive to allow memories of it to echo into her present.
Her previous life had left her poorly equipped to handle the environment of Hell, that the time spent filing through its neuron archives for some sort of use would be better spent simply building a new foundation.
That's what she had done ever since she arrived in the pit of despair. And unlike others who fought to ignore their suppressed thoughts of Earth, Velvette's efficient driven mindset had allowed her to pave over them without even knowing they'd been flatten.
However, once in a while a crack emerged in the asphalt. Hairlike fractures that didn't, and couldn't, threaten the integrity of the infrastructure she constructed, but did allow the scent of what rotted below to waft to the surface.
And no matter how weak or pungent the odor that came was, it always ended up finding a way to vex the Vee in the end.
Case in point, her current task to track down Angel.
Ignoring her own disdain at having to hunt down the person she had already bent over backwards for today, when Husk had sent the chicken to snatch the pig, Velvette's scoff of frustration held an air of amused pity to it.
Having seen the avian depart along an all but literal trail of breadcrumbs, the influencer figured catching up to the spider who had a three minute head start at best would prove just as easy.
'Even posh pricks gave foxes more time.' she had thought amused. And in a rare occurrence, she had recalled the pixelated hounds her family tube had displayed back when she was a child.
A simple thought that should have passed her by unnoticed, and when she and the cat traversed down the hill, she had done just that. Quickly having forgotten it mere seconds after it had emerged.
It was only half a night later that the childish thought caught up to Velvette.
Were tired, cold, and pissed beyond complaint, she realized its mere presence earlier had been an omen the hunt would suck. No matter how short a head start their quarry got.
And now, as her nihilistic partner and her finally turned the corner to find their target, she understood that her pity had been misplaced.
Because after four hours of searching, the sight of Angel mumbling out curses as he shouldered rammed a meth dispenser, had transformed her.
From the rich privileged fuck taking a stroll on his horse, to the pissed off dog who had done all the work in an a game that always ended the same.
"God dammit." The white haired demon mumbled, as his fist for the machine hit it with a weak palm that slid down in defeat.
When his head followed suit, Velvette made sure to march forward so he'd see her heels would snap his eyes up.
"God dammit!" The sight of her shoes had the desired effect, and his neck slammed the back of his cranium hard enough into the vending machine the Vee may as well have kicked it, "Don't you people know how to take a hint!"
"About as well as you take a gift." Vel fumed forward, hand balled into a mace, "So better take a deep breath, because you're in for a lot more kicking and screaming as I drag your sorry arse back to Charlie-"
"I'm not going back."
Velvette stopped. Because even if the cold crisp of the actor's words had turned her frustration into a happy form of anger, the cold front had hit the feline next to her. And before her arm could reach out for Angel's neck, Husk claws had dragged her and her wrist to his side.
"Why not?" Husk's voice didn't carry the concerned tone his action conveyed. Hell, it barely had enough curiosity in it to sound like a question.
"It's none of your business." Angel sneered, and his upper half turned away from the conversation.
"You're right." Husk words all but shrugged his empathy away.
Velvette's own head turned to see the action itself. Ready to redirect her anger to Husk. Not in any sense of duty to return to the hotel with Angel, but that the cat would just let the actor waste the better part of their nights with no repercussions.
"You can't be fucking serious-" her curiosity snapped shut when he saw he was.
"I am. This ain't my business," the cat's statement first sent a claw towards his own chest, then he sailed it into Vel's, "and it ain't your business. All Al signed me up to do was work the front desk and bar, and you're just a guest. Nothing in our job description demands we have to be here for him."
Velvette snatched her arms away just to throw it up. Her mouth agape, ready to remind him of what little choice that they actually had… except… she couldn't.
Sure, Vaggie's threat pushed her into it, but Husk was right, she could have easily gone back to her room and justified why to Charlie in the morning.
But she hadn't. And while she could tell herself she was here to kill two birds with one stone, by showing both Charlie and Angel they could rely on her greed more than one anothers humanity, she still chose to track Angel down. Despite the fact she could probably make just as good of an argument as to why it would be beneficial for her to just leave him be for the night.
Hell, even if she was ethically right for morally wrong reasons… in some twisted way she was being a better person then the bird brain idiot. Who had come up with so many excuses to get out of this search and rescue, he had accidentally excused himself into going.
Left with nothing but a metaphorical weight above her head, Vel slowly found her arms lowered in silence as if it was real.
"So go… you hate putting up with me on the clock. If you didn't, you wouldn't need to get your masochist fix by coming after me now." Angel's legs turned with his head, yet the actor's feet stayed put, as if they'd only move when he heard theirs fade away.
"Then I must be here for something else." Husk crossed arms signaled that wasn't going to happen anytime soon.
The Vee's frustration, if not having gone away, now fueled her bewildered confusion. As her head silently turned back and forth between the two Sinners.
Almost like she was watching a tennis rally in which she didn't know the score of the game, set, or match… and had to wait for the crowd's emotional eruption at the outcome to piece together the history that came before.
"You're here for Charlie," Angel's back remained the only face Vel could see. However, she heard his tone falter, "Whose so Disney fucking perfect, she still wants to help me, even when she's thinks she's the one causing the problem."
Perhaps his first statement had hit the net, because Velvet heard the grit of Angel's teeth as him tossing up his next serve.
"Which only ever makes it worse," the strike rang the strings a high pitch, "Because any answer she'll come up with is gonna make it worse so long as a piece of shit like me is in the equation! So thanks for coming Husk!"
Angel whipped around, and Velvette expected a lot of emotions to stitch the actor's face as he watched his ace. Anger was to be expected… the choked back water works it had to claw past wasn't.
"And let Charlie know you came here as a fucking Samaritan! Then she can realize what I already know!" the amount of energy the actor wasted to evaporate his tears into steam made his whole body shake, "That I really am the most fucked up person in that entire hotel!"
"You're kidding me right?"
Velvette was about as ill prepared for Husk to casually bat back the ball as Angel. And like the actor, she merely stared at his nonchalant swing in shock. Unaware that he won the point against an opponent who hadn't even moved.
"You're actually gonna leave the hotel, because you think you're the least deserving. Do you even know who's standing next to me right now?"
Velvette blinked twice before remembering that she could actually be present as something more than a bystander.
"The wannabe Overlord, who's just as heartless as my boss. Yet has somehow made more progress in becoming a better person in a program she wants to tear down then I have."
"Don't insult me." Velvette snipped back in instinct, although her venom was heavily watered.
"Then don't play fucking dumb! There's no way Charlie could stand up to a guy like Val," the actor snatched his phone, just for her to catch his sliced serve into the bench, "and unless his sick sense of humor turned terminal, then you were the one who actually got him to back off."
A quick glance down at the wall of text he had opened showed her the most straightforward message she'd ever seen from Val.
"Most people," not one for being a ballboy, the Vee tossed it back to the player, "would be thrilled if their boss is gonna give them time off while they rework schedules."
"You want a thank you." Angel sneered, "Cause know I'm pissed at the fact a bitch like you deserves one."
"Damn right I do-" Vel reigned herself in. Taking a page from Husk's book she steadied herself, albeit, having to hold back the rage the actor wished he had, "But I only got Val to change your hours because I was pissed at the structure of his shoot. God, you want to thank something, thank that my greed for capital just so happened to align with worker satisfaction today."
"First time for everything." Husk grumbled, his teeth flared beneath smirk for a millisecond. Enough for Velvette to roll her eyes.
"No there's not, I would have overlooked it if Charlie wasn't ready to tear Val's head off."
"… she was gonna what?" Both players looked at her as if she was the ref.
"Rip off his wings with claws, burn him under her crimson eyes, or maybe gorge him with those two bi polar horns of her." Velvette shrugged, "How the fuck should I know. All I know is she snapped when he called you a pet."
Angel's mouth closed shut, and his outburst seemed to thaw itself into a more organic stillness of disbelief.
"Sounds hard to believe." Husk mused, already having accepted it.
"No, what's hard to believe is that she endured Val's flirts, perverted nature, and 'casting' attempt."
Angel shivered when she mentioned all three so close together.
"Yet it was his treatment of you that broke the pacifist skull." Velvette bore her hands to her hips to stare her point into Angel, "So buckle up, because if Val being a creep can't scare Charlie away from helping you, good luck running away from it."
"…" Angel opened his mouth, but didn't have the strength to even walk across the court to start the next point. Even as Husk kept playing.
"And you think you're the only toxic personality Charlie's wasting her time on." the cat raised an eyebrow.
"… Being compared to a Vee on that scale isn't exactly a high bar-"
Velvette wasn't surprised Husk interrupted, after all it's not like she could deny being a manipulative arsehole. Trying to hide that would just make people try to see just how much of one she was.
"Are you kidding? Even at her best, little miss corporate ladder couldn't out pity Feather's."
She could be shocked at who he had interrupted with though.
Nester was a pitiful Sinner for sure, but that had to be just in the fact he was so pathetic… it's not like the bird had the brain cells to actually-
"Surprised the guy didn't come back as a crocodile with all the tears he cries," Husk snorted amused.
"You're serious?" Angel barely believed the question enough to answer it. And quite frankly neither did Vel.
"Dead serious," the cat tapped his own corpse born body, "Don't get me wrong, he's a naturally nervous guy, but ever notice when he truly panics, his speech clears? His stutter vanishes? Just long enough for him to squawk out a coherent excuse to get out of whatever Charlie and Vag's ask him to do?"
"No-" Velvette recalled how she had been ready to go after the pig after the beige loon had looked ready to keel over from a heart attack, "That son of a bitch!"
Angel still seemed perplexed, but Husk's chuckle fueled her growing anger.
"He's got that suggestive aura crap doesn't he?!"
"Wait… you mean like Pentious' snake eyes?" The actor finally started to piece things together.
"Yep." Husk chuckled, and the cat was lucky Velvette was so pissed at the bird, or else she'd direct her anger onto him for having kept that secret hidden.
"No wonder his wings don't work, they're too busy adding to his whole fucking 'woe is me' bullshit!"
"Don't know if I'd go that far, and it's definitely something you can shrug off once you know to look out for it."
"Yeah, probably because he doesn't know he's doing it!" Vel countered.
"Which only proves he's not actually a bad guy." Angel steered the conversation back to him, and pointed to his own, albeit organic, depression that had brought them to this god forsaken alley in the middle of the night.
"Maybe, but he's far from the unlucky soul we think he is. Involuntarily or not, he's all too happy to put himself first to get out of something he doesn't want to do, and doesn't complain when he gets others to do it for him. Maybe he's no more of a manipulative asshole than the rest of us, but he is like the rest of us." Husk walked up and wrapped a hand around Angel, whose pondering minds, and or exhausted brain, didn't think to make a dirty pun at the action, "Face it, only one whose not riding the pity train is Niffty, Pentious, and I… and it doesn't take a genius to realize we're all just as fucked up in different ways."
"… maybe… but maybe that just means Charlie's entire cause is a lost one."
Velvette was still fuming. Although whether it was because Nester had pulled the pity card on her, or because she hadn't been the one to figure out that's what made him a shitty loser like the others, she did not yet know.
And she'd have to answer that on the go. For when she noticed Angel's words trail off in a direction rather than off his point, she realized Husk had begun walking him back to the main street.
"And the only admiral thing to do is quiet." Angel mutter fueled the bartender's chuckle.
"I don't think this Redemption things gonna work how Charlie thinks it will. But if you still think you can be admiral in defeat, maybe that's a sign she's right about the good in everybody." the cat looked back, "After all, Velvette may have stopped Val because of greed, but she still stopped him. And Feather's may feed off other people's pity for him, but he's probably still looking for your damn pig right now. A starts a start-"
"Wait…" Angel face puckered, "Fat Nugget's missing?!"
"… ummmm, maybe." Husk's own face went slack, as he realized maybe that would have been a fact best saved for the hotel.
"What do you mean maybe?! Where is he?!"
"Hopefully with Feather's." Husk admitted.
Velvette crossed her arms.
"Who probably guilt tripped the pig into coming home." She narrowed her eyes toward the hill they approached, "Sitting on the porch with a pout like some sort of pity bait. Bet he went back that second we left and hasn't moved a fucking muscle-"
The base of the mountain lit up her eyes… at the same time the volleys that did so echoed into her ears. Along with the thunder of her theory's immediate disapproval.
For Nester's muscles were actually working overtime. As the panic bird wasn't sitting on the porch, but was in a dead sprint towards it. Chasing, and or following, a rat up the hill. All while carrying an actual pigskin in his arm… and dodging the tackles of bullets fired by a trio of-
"… are your guys seeing what I'm seeing…" Angel raised a hand, "because I'm seeing three imps shooting at Fat Nugget, as Nester's carrying him to the hotel like it's the fucking end zone."
"That is… not inaccurate to what I'm picking up." Husk said. His words, for once, flabbergasted.
"Gotcha… because," Angel replied, taking in a deep breath, "Holy shit, my fucking piglet!"
XxxxxxX
I would like to remind everybody this is a Hazbin Hotel Fanifc and not a Hazbin Hotel and Helluva Boss crossover Fanfic. That being said… for this chapter and the next it may certainly feel like the ladder as the good old IMP trio bulldoze their way into a quick stunt as side characters/antagonist/victims XD
Thanks to all who have read through the fifteenth chapter of Drifters. I will try my best to upload a chapter every Friday. Criticism is always welcomed, so long as there's an attempt for it to be constructive.
As of this moment I am still looking for a beta reader, so to anyone interested please feel free to shoot me a PM.