I was doom scrolling and came across a BakuDeku picture of Katsuki's arm in a brace that essentially prompted the story. I have no real plan for it, but I couldn't let it go!

There are mentions of abuse, bullying, and attempted suicide. All the usual hurt/comfort angst that seems to be a pattern with my BakuDeku fics. I hope you enjoy it, and I do the characters' justice. I really should watch it already

He groaned, standing up. He didn't want to go. He still felt nothing from his right forearm. And he knew the diagnosis was going to confirm he could no longer be a hero. On top of the psychological issues, he also hadn't passed his physical screening because he had just given up. On top of it all he swore, he saw someone from his past he hadn't let himself think about. He'd never known anyone else to have a green mop of hair like him. But he'd moved away, left school after he had stupidly burnt him, and said such unforgivable shit. He'd hated himself for it and spent years trying to become the hero they both wanted to be, to somehow be the man that he had promised when they were kids. He'd think about him now and then when there was a major catastrophe or a serious fight with civilian casualties, and he would stare at his Mums' number. Wanting to call and ask her to find out how he was, if he was safe.

But he never did, because he didn't deserve to know. After they moved away his Mum, obviously kept in contact with Aunt Inko, but he had never, ever asked. So walking through the hospital three months ago to finally go home, and seeing that mop of hair... he'd turned and tried to hide, knocking his head into the corner of the wall and being glad the wounds there had healed. But he had only growled out and his behind the corner, confusing the nurse with him.

He could never face him. He wasn't deserving and he had failed. What the fuck would he have to be proud of now?

"Come on Brat! We will be late!" His mother yelled

"I'm 26 years old Hag! Stop calling me a brat" he yelled back moving to pick up his trainers and awkwardly put them on with one hand. As he made it to the open front door she stood there leaning against the floor frame with an all too familiar cocky smirk. His smirk, he hated how much he got from her. He snorted and walked past her

"You'll always be my brat. Because you'll never fucking grow up" she quipped practically skipping behind him to the garage.

"Says the grown woman skipping like a teenager" he grumbled getting in the car.

She got in and started the car in silence, she was tense and he looked at her from the corner of his eyes. She never hesitated, and she never got nervous like this. And when they made it to the motorway he couldn't take the weirdness of it anymore.

"Fuck sake, spit it out" he growled noting her bite her lower lip and grip the wheel hard. The squeak from the leather and her palms showing the strain on her white knuckles. And it caused a pit in his stomach. Izuku. Did something happen? Oh shit, he couldn't hear this.

"I had a call from Inko this morning" she started and it immediately caused the panic to rise. Fuck. Were they really here? Was it really him? He had convinced himself he was wrong, they moved away and Izuku hadn't even said goodbye, only solidifying the fact he fucked up. That he had managed to hurt the most pure person he knew enough to leave without trying to make him feel better. Which was well deserved. But it had been eleven years. And his Mum stopped trying to talk about him six months in. His throat closed up as he tried to will down the pain and tears. He couldn't deal with hearing something happened not with his career and arm, and... It'd be the final straw. His heart flooded his ears and he jumped at the hand on his shoulder

"Hey, did you hear me?" His mum asked her voice soft, it felt wrong. She'd never treated him so delicately before. He shook his head and he could feel the fear on his face but he couldn't school his face, or his raging heart. His mum took a deep breath and let him go putting her hand back on the wheel.

"Inko called me. She said Izuku has asked of he can see you" she gave a hint of an affectionate smile "today" she tacked on the end.

What. The. Fuck? Katsuki looked ahead, not seeing the road, he wasn't expecting Izuku to ever reach out. Ever. He was sure the only time he'd ever see him again was...

"He's in Tokyo?" He asked voice distant as his mind couldn't come back into the car.

"Yes. He- he has been for a while" she admitted causing him to blink, his vision finally coming into focus in the car.

"What is a while?" He asked cautiously

"Seven years" she admitted calmly but her tension gave her away. "I've seen him a few times"

"What?!" He yelled turning to face her.

"He came to the hospital... while you were unconscious"

He shook his head and couldn't even string together any words. What? Why? Maybe it was a satisfaction thing? To come see him damaged and hurt the way he deserved. And this wasn't all he deserved. He knew that but he just wanted to make Izuku see he would live their dream for the both of them. He'd been here seven years and never reached out... so it wasn't as if he wanted to see him.

"What does he want?" He finally asked looking down at his hands clenching his left hand, his right resting on his lap pathetically.

"She didn't say. I know him leaving without a word hurt you" she was using that soft voice again "and you pretended to not care but... he was going through a lot back then, he didn't want to get you involved" she explained and he looked at her in stupefied amazement. She really thought he wasn't involved? What the hell did the Nerd tell them?

"Are you serious?" He asked his voice low and shaking with barely contained rage and self disgust.

"Kats-"

"You really don't know?" He asked "he didn't tell Aunt Inko?!"

His mum frowned clearly confused but there was a hint of fear in her eyes.

"Tell her what?" She asked instead

"I'm the fucking reason they left! Me. I was the worst fri-" he snapped his mouth shut as his skin prickled in repulsion because he couldn't even try to claim he was a friend. Even a bad one. "Excuse of a human there was! I-" he cut off as the guilt, fear, all the nightmares for the first year they had left came to the surface. And he'd never told anyone. Not Kirishima, not Denki, not his psychologist. No one. They would look at him differently but his mum? Well, Inko was one of the most important people to her. They had been through a lot from what he'd overheard in the past. Traumatic things and Inko saved her life. At least in her words. He didn't know if he could survive the grief he'd cause her to know how he treated Izuku. What he had driven him to... if she'd look at him disgusted and wish he'd never been her son.

"What? Did you two have a fight?" She asked turning off the exit to the hospital.

"Yeah" he snorted in self-loathing. "A fight"

He was only lucky Izuku hadn't gone and tried to finish what he had started. Fuck he was lucky he was there in the first place, that his weak, sweaty hands managed to keep hold. The memory flashed behind his eyes... the light gone replaced by defeat in the usual bright, happy eyes. The moment he realised that Katsuki had stopped him following through with his own awful words. The way his eyes teared up and quickly reaching up with his other hand.

"We're here" his mum spoke pulling him from his living nightmare. "Will you see him?" She asked

"Yeah" he breathed out, he didn't want to but he really had no right to refuse. If Izuku decided he wanted to punish him, hurt him he'd agree. This caused the bright smile to take over his mother's face and she looked relieved, happy.

"Great" she laughed nervously and nodding then pointing ahead toward the main entrance. He couldn't move. He couldn't bring himself to allow his eyes to be graced with the sight. Taking in a shaky breath he unbuckled his belt and opened the door. Eyes only taking in the same, dumb, red trainers. Well, not the same but similar.

"Hey, Kacchan" his voice made it to Katsuki's ears and he swears it stopped his heart. It was deeper, smooth and it had the same affection, the one only Izuku could give. He hadn't heard his nickname since that awful night. It was so broken and scared when he last heard it. That was the way he remembered it and he felt the tears sring to his eyes. He never thought he'd hear it like this again, and he felt guilty he had. But the sound had his head straightening as his eyes shot up to take in the grown up version of the face he remembered. The green pools as bright as ever, the huge smile. He was tired, pale with dark circles under his eyes. He spotted a pink, healing line on his jaw. But none of it affected the clear adoration on his face.

"Hey" his voice sounded gravelly and he had to clear his throat "Hey Izuku" he nodded stiffly felling a twinge at the way the smiled dropped slightly, the way his eyes dulled. As if he'd pulled the floor from under the man.

"I'll go get a coffee" His mum spoke before locking the car and walking away. He almost reached for her, but had to plant himself.

"Come on, Kacchan" Izuku said nodding his head into the hospital.

"I have an appointment" he said stiffly but his feet moved to walk toward him anyway.

"I know. I spoke to Recovery Girl and Dr Inoue. They are happy for me to give you your diagnosis if you agree"

"You're a Doctor?" He asked leaning back in surprise. The soft snort and smile had his heart squeezing.

"No. Not a doctor. But I've been pretty invested in your case. And I'd have had to come talk to you anyway... if you agreed. If not someone would have come in my place"

"Why?" He asked frowning and feeling a twinge of dissapointment. Was this only for work? But he said he'd been invested. Then he chastised himself. He shouldn't hope for anything. Be glad for this. The fact he could even smile at him, and call him Kacchan with the same, if not more adoration was a miracle he hadn't earned.

Izuku lead them through the corridors and then into outpatient clinic. Katsuki took the time to look him over. He was taller, but still a few inches shorter than Katsuki. He looked run down and there were scars he could see now. Littered over his face, his hands clasping the file he had. And there was a bruise that looked suspiciously like he'd been restrained poking out on his wrists, where his sleeves had rode up. It had worry and anger bubbling in his chest. Was he in trouble?

They entered a consultation room and Izuku took a seat behind the desk, gesturing for Katsuki to take the seat opposite. He didn't know how to talk to him, would he let him talk personal? Was he only hear to be his... consultant?

"I work with recovering heroes. Helping them get through their recovery and assisting with their Quirk control where it fails after the event. I upgrade their suits and such"

Katsuki nodded hanging onto his every word, searing the sound of his voice to memory because he was sure after all this he'd never hear or see him again.

"So like physiotherapy?"

"Sometimes" he smiled then it fell as he looked so incredibly sad. "I can't say I'll be completely professional so if you want Dr Inoue to come-"

"No. Its okay" he blurted and winced at the way Izuku reeled back in surprised. "You should tell me, I don't mind how it's delivered" he nodded shuffling the chair forward, putting his arm on the table while his right arm just lay on his lap. Izuku smiled, eyes brightening with his oncoming tears. He didn't seem satisfied or smug at all. He looked as if he was genuinely hurting at the knowledge he had. Taking in a deep breath he leant onto the desk his arms over the file he put on the desk.

"Your lower arm isn't responding to treatment and as you know it isn't moving"

He nodded glaring at the offending appendage.

"Still can't feel anything either" he admitted.

"The final diagnosis is you're arm isn't going to heal. That you're done being a hero and will be discharged from duty"

He clenched his teeth together trying to remain calm. Trying to snuff out the popping from his left hand. He never, ever wanted to activate his Quirk around Izuku again. But there he was, using it and his emotions out of control. A cool hand covered his fist and everything froze, the popping stopped, his heart stopped while he could only feel the coolness. His eyes moved to see the other man's hand over his, the bruises becoming more visible.

"I'm sorry Kacchan. But-"

"What?" He asked his chest tight throat closed up that he sounded strangled.

"I know how much this means to you. And you're an amazing hero. I really thought you'd be number one within the next year" he smiled and his tears began to fall. Why is he crying for me? He thought, mouth falling open. Did he really believe that? Sure he wanted to be the best, and he wanted to keep saving people. But he also failed Izuku. It was their dream and he had been so reckless he had now ruined his chances.

"I'm here to offer a new arm. To help you acclimate to civilian life. You can choose not to and keep your arm but-"

"It's useless" he nodded

"If you can... put up with me I don't want to just give you a new arm"

Katsuki scowled at the words because if anything it's the other way around.

"What else can you do?" He asked

"Help you stay a hero. It'll be hard, and take time. A year at least, even with your drive"

"You- you think I can?" He asked looking down to his arm, uncertain and trying to quell the hope.

"I do" he said with such certainty that Katsuki believed him. "I don't think anyone else could pull it off. You need to get used to a new, foreign arm, get back in shape- not that you're out of shape- and prove you can fight just as well, if not better than before. You were in fighting shape in middle school Kacchan. This can be done."

Katsuki wanted to accept. He had to bite his tongue to stop his usual selfishness from coming out. But it meant spending probably hours a day with the man. Getting close and he knew himself to know he'd start asking for more. More than he deserved and more than he had any right to ask for. Not to mention he'd seen enough to know his Mum never wanted him to fight again.

"I'll take the arm" he started carefully and again saw the same look dull his face like at the front of the hospital. His heart lurched at the loss of Izuku's hand.

"I see" he swallowed audibly and moved to lean back into his chair. "Well... that's good to hear" he sounded distant now, more professional and Katsuki wanted to blow his own face off. "If its too... uncomfortable for you to have me work with you, I have a colleague. She is very capable and knows the mechanics just as well as I do. She works with me as I make them so someone else can help the patients. So I assure you it'll be a smooth transition" he picked up the file and looked on the verge of tears again. He handed it to Katsuki and stood up.

"I'm really... I'm really glad you agreed to talk to me. I'll make sure Kaia calls you in the next two days. They'll set up a time for the amputation and work with the prosthetic fitting. He stood wiping at his eyes "Good luck. And I wish you all the best"

Katsuki dropped the file instinctively trying to catch his wrist. Only for his hand to wave worthlessly. He cursed himself and cursed out loud turning to use his left arm. He didn't like the way it seemed to upset Izuku. The look of sorrow had him wanting to push it out and find that smile again. His hand gripped his wrist and the hiss of pain had him moving his had as if he had been burned.

"Shit! I'm sorry I didn't mean to..." he trailed off as he realised he hadn't actually grabbed him that hard. Izuku pulled his arm to his chest cradling it. Then he forced a smile shaking his head.

"No, it's fine" he held up his other hand "I hurt my arm the other day and you just surprised me"

That pit opened up again, and he felt something was off. The scars, the bruises.

"I'm sorry. I didn't-" he couldn't speak or get the right apology out.

"No, honestly it's okay" he forced out taking a step back "I'm sorry I pushed. I just hoped-" he cut off and shook his head. And Katsuki realised he yet again, fucking ignored Izuku's feelings and let his own guilt cloud everything.

"Why?" He blurted out "I don't get why you'd ever want to help me. And you really do I can see it in your stupid puppy dog eyes!"

"I'll always want to help you Kacchan" he said quietly, looking sheepish.

"You should be revelling in my well deserved Karma. I've fallen so far and it's every-"

"You can't mean that?!" He almost yelled at him. "Kacchan you saved countless people, and I've personally helped some of them. You're their literal hero and I helped some of them with their letters" he smiled softly eyed glazing over to whatever memory he was having. Katsuki felt like wincing. He had so many fan letters, most stalkers, some fans, pleas to visit fans and occasionally they were letters of thanks. How many of them had he helped with? Had he written any and he had never known.

"You're really okay? To help me?" He asked cautiously looking over every corner of his face, looking for that hint of hesitation, fear, or uncomfortability that he used to always hide with people.

"I wouldn't be here if I didn't" he shrugged looking genuinely sincere.

"Do you still lie to make everyone else happy?" He asked sceptically only to see his face fall in guilt.

"Not- I mean I'm better than I was" he admitted in defeat. Then waved his arms "Okay let's get back on track. I am still happy to help you. Whether that's to help with the rehabilitation or train to be a hero again. If not, that's okay too, Kaia can help. I don't want to push you or make you uncomfortable. This was a pretty selfish move on my part I just thought this was a good opportun-" he cut of eyes widening "no not that your injuries are a good thing, I just mean that I was glad I had- no that sounds bad too..." he trailed off looking at Katsuki wide eyes as a laugh burst out of him. His head was thrown back as his entire upper body shook with the force of his laugh. He had honestly not laughed so hard in years.

"Relax, Nerd. I get what you mean" he gasped through his calming laughs waving his hand lazily. He hadn't changed. Still kind hearted and wanting to help people, he was still awkward. "I wouldn't mind you treating me" he agreed

"You don't have to force it. I know you don't want me as a friend but I'll be professional all the way through. If I can't I'll step away" he promised.

Katsuki couldn't even argue with him. What else was he supposed to think after everything?

"Okay" he nodded and felt that pit fill some as the blinding smile took over his face. It was a beautiful thing, someonthing he hadn't seen in almost twenty years. Something he had made dim in the first place. He moved back to the desk to take the file

"This is for you. It'll explain the process. It'll be time consuming as we will have to wait for you to heal before putting on the prosthetic. And I suggest you keep up with your psychiatrist living without your arm will have a profound mental hit too. If there is no complications and you heal smoothly we can fit the prosthesis within six weeks"

He looked down to the arm for the millionth time.

"It's not like I have an arm now" he shrugged.

"But it's still there. And after the amputation you may have phantom limb pain. Or struggle to accept the arm is gone"

"It's already gone. At least with a fake one I can get back some fucking dependence" he scowled at it again. He'd hated the last three months. He had people helping him dress, couldn't do half of the stuff he usually did because he instinctively tried to used his right hand. It was his dominant hand.

"It must be torture for you" Izuku nodded. "Do you need time to adjust to the idea?"

"No. Sooner the better" he said quickly, didn't even hesitate.

"Okay. I'll try to book an OR for as soon as I can. I can call you or send a letter with the date but the letter would delay-"

"Call me"

Izuku took a pen and peice of paper nodding as he wrote it down.

"I can assemble the team for the surgery but most heroes tend to do that themselves. So-"

"It's fine. You do it" he waved his hand and Izuku nodded

"The prosthetic is already done and ready for you" he said a tiny of pink flushing over his freckled cheek.

"I thought you had to make it and measure?" Katsuki asked and smirked as the blush only deepened.

"I did mention I'd been invested in your case for a while" he rushed out "and the measurement will be done later I can adjust it there" he shrugged.

"Can I see it?" He blurted out and was surprised to see the surprise take over his face as he quickly looked up.

"I- I mean if you really want to" he stammered out. Nodding hesitantly

"You can tell me no" he smirked

"That's not it. It's fine. We'd have to go to my lab though" he explained

"You got a lab?" He asked raising a brow. Trying not to smirk, but that was cool.

"Yeah, making hero suits requires space and equipment. It an entire building and the lab is only a small part really but it sounds right"

"You still ramble" he smiled softly making no attempt to try and hold it back. He only blushed again. "So when can I see it?"

"Uh... Well I have a few more things to do here. Then I'm heading back to the Lab. I'll be about an hour"

"I can wait" he shrugged.

He really should have stopped himself, but he wasn't ready to say goodbye. And he was hoping to get some answers, he was worried Izuku was in trouble. That was it, thay was all he was allowing himself to make sure he was safe, and if not, well he was still perfectly capable of blowing someone apart with his left hand. It was the least he could do.

He sat in the outpatient waiting room, he'd called his mum to say he was sticking around and she didn't even hide her smugness. Clearly pleased with the outcome. But she agreed to go home. He reminded himself that he wasn't here to be his friend. And his feelings didn't matter here, he just had to... not be himself. And not hurt Izuku. That was the first priority. Izuku helping him this way was more than he deserved and he would not ask for more. He knew himself better than that though.

"Ready?" Came his new favourite sound, even if it was full of anxiety. But he'd never thought he would hear it again so he was taking what he could get. He picked up the file he had gone through that was on hid lap. It was clear Izuku had personally written it to make it easy to understand. It didn't have that usual brochure/doctor feel to it.

"Yeah" he nodded standing up and letting Izuku lead the way. They walked in silence and Katsuki could see the tension building in the greenette and wondered if he'd made the right call. Maybe it was too much to be alone with him out of a proffesional setting. The car ride was going to be just them.

"If its too much... I can make my own way and meet you there" he offered feeling bad about the way Izuku was clearly spiralling. He may not say it but Katsuki could see it and it twisted his insides to know its his fault. Its completely natural for Izuku to be afraid of him.

"Oh that's just silly" he laughed nervously and stopped at a silver car.

"You're all but shaking" he pointed out surprised he wasn't at this point. "I get it if... you have some... unresolved negative feelings"

The man frowned scrunching up his nose as if that was absurd.

"Why would I have negative feelings?" He asked and it took Katsuki back because, fuck, he meant it.

"You can't be serious?" He asked anyway and Izuku rolled his eyes and opened the car getting in. Katsuki sighed and got in a moment later. And he never got a chance to bring it up again because Izuku spent the whole drive rambling about other things. None of it made sense really because he was talking to fast but Katsuki found himself relaxing to the sound of Izuku's voice carrying in the car. As he tried to ignore the now obviously showing bruises that Izuku had completely forgotten to hide them in his attempt to distract Katsuki.

It was when they were ten minutes into traffic that Katsuki caved. Breaking his resolve to be distant.

"What happened to your arms?" He blurted cutting off the rambling about a costume being in the works as his face paled more than it was.

He shot his arms down to pull at his sleeves.

"Oh that's nothing" and the clear lie pissed him off.

"Bullshit. I barely touched you earlier. And those are obviously bruises from struggling on restraints"

"How would you-"

"My job comes with risks, don't change the subject" he said flatly.

"It's not a big deal. Just a missunderstanding" he shrugged and Katsuki felt sure he wouldn't get answers if he pushed.

"Fine. Lie. But if you're in some sort of trouble..." he let the sentence hang, hoping he would understand. The shy smile as he shook those green curls told him he got the message.

It took them another twenty minutes to get through the traffic understanding there had been an accident ahead. Izuku worried but kept on driving. Muttering to himself and Katsuki could only pick up peices. He felt his jaw drop as Izuku turned and pulled up to the gates of Hero Corp. This was the most prestigious company that worked with Heroes in multiple different ways. He pulled out his badge smiling to the security guard who only looked bored.

"And hi-" he cut off eyes widening in surprise "D-Dynamite!" He then glared at Izuku "are you insane? Why would you think its okay for you to bring him here?"

Katsuki narrowed his eyes, not missing the way he had hissed the word 'you' at Izuku. It caused him to immediately want to smash his face against the car door.

"Oh, well he asked to see his arm. Who am I to say no?" He chuckled nervously and the man only nodded seeming to agree before pressing the button to open the barrier.

"Do not upset him" he warned viciously and Katsuki felt like something bitter was thrown down his throat. But Izuku only smiled giving a small wave and driving in.

"The fuck was that?" He asked

"Oh he is the security guard. I don't really bring people to the Lab. They come on appointments and are made aware of my condition so they can decide if they want my help or not"

Condition? Katsuki had to swallow down the anger. He isn't suffering from some sort of disease! Then a horrifying thought occurred to him, was he still being abused? Was the bruises not someone he knew but the general public?

The further they went through the 'lab' the more he believed that was the case. The scars... the tired aura around him. Fuck. He had to grit his teeth almost snapping at the woman who met him at the door to his office.

"Good afternoon, Izuku" she smiled softly and seemed to be the first person to look at him with any ounce of respect.

"Kaia. Everything okay?" He asked

"Oh, yeah I was just dropping of a gift for you" she smiled "looks like Kai sent some flowers for you" she blushed while Izuku's smile seemed to suddenly become forced as his entire body stiffened.

"He really shouldn't have. He's too sweet"

"You're a lucky man, Midoriya" she winked. Katsuki felt the twinge of relief at hearing it implied Izuku was involved with a man. But it was drowned out by both his jealousy and the way he seemed to be afraid. Was this who hurt him? Kaia smiled politely to him and excused herself. Izuku went into the office, not looking at the huge bouquet of roses. The card was visible.

I'm sorry, I'll make it up to you.

I love you, see you soon xx

Kai

Izuku rummaged in his drawer pulling out a card key.

"Aha" he smiled "Okay let's go" he waved for him to follow, he did in silence.

They entered what was really best described as a lab. The equipment everywhere but Izuku walked right passed it all not given Kaatsuki a chance to take in all the impressive things he was looking at.

They went to a side door and it held multiple cases with prosthetics, some had hero suits. The bench in the middle had and arm rested on a brace, the hand relaxed the fingers curled in slightly as if the person was simply resting. It was a dark grey in colour with a hint of orange over small lines. He figured it was his.

"I can get the colour more natural to your skin if you prefer?" He offered "some patients don't really like the robot look and get more upset with it"

Katsuki shook his head leaning in closer noting the drawings underneath multiple sketches on how to decorate it. The one that took his breath away was the one where there was obvious patterns on the wrist that resembled a grenade... like his gauntlet. He really wanted to make him a hero again...

"I can make any changes, just let me know" Izuku was stood behind him looking over his shoulder as he smiled, chin nearly resting on his shoulder. He ignored the flutter in his stomach and chest. He refused to let his buried feeling interfere. He'd keep that to himself and suffer the consequences he fucking put on himself.

"How does it work?" He asked trying to keep himself focused.

"Well there are two options to attach it. It's called a suspension system and it can be applied with straps or the use of suction -which is the most common" he explained reaching around him, making sure not to touch him, using his pinky to point at the top of the arm "there are microprocessors in the prosthesis that pick up and amplify the EMG signals from your muscles that make the arm, wrist and fingers move"

"EMG?" Katsuki asked looking back over his shoulder only to freeze at the proximity of their faces. Fuck. Izuku only smiled and nodded seeming completely unphased. And it made Katsuki want to change that, he may be useless but that didn't mean he was okay with being beaten at anything. Well, at least right now, he'd not really given a damn the last month.

"It's just jargon for Electromyography. It measures the electrical activity of a nerves stimulation of muscles. It'll take some time and practice to get the hang of it" he shrugged "But this is you. No doubt you make some sort of record at mastering it" he snorted softly and it make Katsuki's brain turn to mush. Why was he so fucking pure? How did he ever think he was better than this living, earth walking Angel?

"It's sensitive enough to keep me fighting?" He asked curiously.

"Not the one in it right now. I've been working on a new, updated one. It'll be three times more sensitive and pick up the EMG more smoothly. I don't see it needing to be more powerful than that but you'd be the first to try. If you want to that is" he added softly

"Sounds like a lot of work" Katsuki whispered leaning closer to the arm. Izuku didn't answer and he felt him step back and leaving him to inspect his new arm.

"It's smaller than I expected" he spoked catching Izuku's attention.

"Well the damage is only to your lower arm, so the amputation will be just below your elbow"

He figured as much. He could lift his arm, bend his elbow the problem was below that, there was no feeling and the hand and wrist were just limp. Sometimes he would think he could feel it try to move it on instinct. Usually knocking something over in the process. He turned to look for Izuku, seeing him leant over a bench with something lay out over it. Seemed like some sort of tech as he held up a probe.

He was very focused and his tongue was sticking out to the left ever so slightly. Katsuki couldn't help the smile, remembering a much smaller, louder and outgoing version of the man sat over a journal scribbling in notebooks about quirks his tongue stuck out obnoxiously. That was before he caused damage. He knew Izuku was dealing with problems before he abandoned him. But Izuku never let it get to him, looking back, as he did sometimes... it was him that made that confidence and happiness die, little by little, day by day. Now he was anxious and hesitant. But seeing him still poke out his tongue in concentration was nice to see. A part of him wanted to see what else he still did.

The designs underneath showed he had put time and effort into this, especially the hero design. There were diagrams and notes on the side for features to add on. Was this why he was so tired? The circles under his eyes looked like he hadn't had a good night's sleep in years. Was he just overworking himself? It wouldn't surprise him.

"So what's this?" He asked moving away from his arm to Izuku.

"Oh, well a hero has had some malfunctions on their suit. I've found the issue in the wiring of this" he explained "I need to repair it and put it back together.

"So you just work with Heroes?" He asked "keeping their tech going? Giving them a way to live as normal a life after they can't fight no more?"

Izuku gave a sad smile and nodded

"Well, it's what I can do. I couldn't be a hero, but if I can help them, support them in this small way I feel like I'm contributing. And you deserve to be able to live as peacefully and stress free as possible. You've fought for us all, saved us. And I think people forget that when they are face to face with a retired hero"

"And you're over your fan-boying? How long did that take?" He asked chuckling at the way he blushed

"Oh no. But I've learnt to keep my mouth shut, and not as... enthusiastic with the Quirk obsession" he smiled.

"Oh I bet" he snorted but his heart felt heavy. Izuku couldn't achieve their dream so he was overworking himself to help the very people he wished to be. He looked hesitant and Katsuki hated it. He was clearly holding back questions he wanted to ask.

"Jeez just fucking ask!" He huffed his skin felt tight at the shyness and hesitation from him, even if he was the one to blame for it.

"Excuse me?" He asked blinking at him with a blank stupid look on his face.

"I'm not like those other heroes. We're... more complicated. I don't fucking want professional Midoriya, I want the shitty Nerd so... stop fucking hesitating!"

He winced as he realised he'd just insulted him. Again. At least earlier it was more lighthearted and he was about to apologise, but it died in his throat. Izuku's face brightened up as he beamed at him. As if being called a 'shitty Nerd' was the best thing he'd hear all day. And if he thought back, he seemed to perk up each time he had said it today. No way he preferred that, right?

"It's okay, I'll have plenty of time to mither you with questions. It's the first day, with big news for you. I can wait until the next meeting" he waved his hand and moved to put the probe down. "You're welcome to stay and if you have any adjustments I can go through them"

"Don't you have work?" He asked looking around the lab.

"Nothing that can't wait" he shrugged

"It's okay, I better get home. Thanks, for all this. I'll think about the offer" he said awkwardly. He wasn't used to thanking anyone, or being so careful.

Izuku smiled and lead the way to the door and taking him back to the car.

"I ca-"

"No, I'll drive you home" he insisted before Katsuki could even try to offer to go home alone.

The drive was quiet and uncomfortable but it wasn't as bad as on the way to the Lab. As he pulled up to the drive Katsuki didn't make a move to get out the car. He wasn't ready to say goodbye. What if he disappeared again? Which he knew wouldn't happened at least until his arm was in place and his rehab with it complete. If he refused the offer to try and get back into hero condition that'd probably be it.

"I can stay and answer anymore questions you might have thought of" he offered

Katsuki shook his head frowning torn between his nature of demanding what he wanted and doing what was likely best for Izuku.

"I finish work at five. How about I come back and we can catch up?" He asked "eleven years is a long time and I'm sure you have as many questions as I do"

"Doubt it" Katsuki smirked looking up to Izuku through his lashes and again taking way too much enjoyment from the blush. Then it all died "You really want to spend time with me?" He asked finally holding his breath waiting for Izuku to answer.

"I really do. I miss you Kacchan" it was so easy for him to say it, there was no hesitation so Katsuki decided to trust him.

"Then yeah. I'd like that, I'll see you around quater past five?"

"I'll be here" he nodded his smile reaching his eyes as, so happy and excited you'd think he was meeting All Might. Katsuki nodded stiffly getting out the car and deciding to test his response.

"See you soon, Nerd"

Izuku's smile impossibly got wider as he nodded starting the engine.

"See you, Kacchan!" He called as the door was closed. His heart lurched as he took in the nickname, he'd said it throughout not once using his name and he couldn't help but love it. Even if he felt guilty about it. He watched him drive off before going into the house. His mother sat at the couch and smiled to him over her shoulder.

"How'd it go?" She asked he didn't know if she was asking about his arm or Izuku.

"As I expected. My arm is fucked so it's getting lopped off" he shrugged and her face turned horrified

"What?" She asked standing up.

"It's okay. I chose it, Izuku said it won't recover so there's no point in having it hanging there. Izuku has made me a prosthetic arm and is gonna work with the rehab on it" he explained "looks pretty state of the art, not like the ones I've seen on civilians"

She didn't speak for a moment, taking in the information that her kids arm was being cut off.

"When?" She asked

"I don't know. Izuku said he has to book the OR. Guess they'd decide on a surgeon and all that. He said he'd take care of it so I didn't ask" he shrugged realising he would have if it was anyone else. He just had trust Izuku would do what's best for him. Which if he thought about it was very fucking stupid. He'd have every right to want to get payback and fuck everything up. If it were anyone else they likely would have. "He is gonna call me with a date and all that shit"

"Alright. Can I- I have questions about all this Brat"

"I'll tell Izuku you can know whatever" he nodded knowing it'll only cause a fight if he tried to keep her out of the process.

"So it went okay? With you two?" She asked cautiously and he nodded

"He was working, why wouldn't it?" He scoffed "he's coming back after work so you can ask him whatever then" he turned and headed to his room suddenly exhausted. Today was more emotional than he had anticipated and it wasn't even lunch yet.