Letter

Dear [REDACTED],

My mommy never smiled at me, and my daddy was always so angry at me. He wasn't like the other girls' daddies. I never got goodnight kisses from mommy or daddy. My daddy only ever gave me one gift: a teddy bear on my fourth birthday. My mommy told me I should be grateful, and my daddy told me I should stop crying so much. My daddy always told me about how much he hated me, sometimes he gave me a slap on the face, or worse. We had a pretty-looking apartment, I remembered where everything is, like the tiny stain on the wall, or the spot where Nickel (my cat.) threw up because it still stinks. Nickel is really cute, but he likes running away, and my daddy only ever feeds, or talks to him. My daddy sometimes had a job, and sometimes he didn't. If he didn't, he liked to sit on the couch and watch TV all day. Every time I talked to him, he always told me to go away, or he hit me. My mommy went to work every day and sometimes came back with another man. They always went to mommy's bedroom and told me not to tell my daddy. One day my daddy saw her doing that, and he started arguing with both of them. Everything got really bad after that. Then a few weeks later, mommy told me I was going somewhere else, but why? Soon she took me to this place called the "Little Sister's Orphanage", she said I was going to be better and safer there, but it didn't feel like that.

There were a bunch of other girls there, like me, and I made some friends. Best of all, I made a best friend! Her name was Agnes, and she was the prettiest of all the girls at the orphanage. I liked her little bunny teeth, but she told me that the other girls picked on her for it. There was Debby, she was seven and she was shy, like me, but she never spoke and had a weird laugh. Ann-marie was mean sometimes, but she told me she never meant it, and once she even got me a bunch of candy from somewhere. Last, Mildred was 10, the adults called her a troublemaker. She had really long ginger hair and had these scars on her face. She said it was from an accident from making cookies with her aunt, but I don't believe her because your face doesn't go in the oven, I think. Sometimes I felt really different from everyone else. I didn't know if I should be feeling sad or down all the time, all the other girls looked so happy. Why am I not like them? Am I not pretty enough?

One day we were playing hopscotch, and it was my turn. When I jumped onto the last part, I fell and hit my head! Ann-Marie helped me up and she gave me a hug. And I don't get hugs very much, they feel weird. Really weird, like I should not be giving them. I get called silly by the adults sometimes too. Ms. Green talks to me the most, sometimes she'll do my hair extra special and ask me if I am okay. I always say I am, because I don't know how to say I'm not.

My favorite adult is Miss Tenenbaum, she's really pretty and smart. I forgot what she does, but I think she's a scientist. She has pretty shoes like my mommy used to wear, and a pretty dress too. Sometimes she will play with us or talk to us, and it's always really fun. She reminds me of my mommy a lot, I even asked her if she could be my new one, but she said no. I drew her a picture once, and I think she liked it. I hope that means I'm a good artist.

One day they started making us do funny things and we got moved into another place. I don't really remember it, but they made us do this training thingy - Watch movies telling us what to do, made us put makeup on our face and other stuff. It felt safer than the orphanage, but one day everything changed so quickly. Everything looked so much more beautiful. It was like I was in a art museum, or a big party in a mansion. (That's what Debby told me it was called.) There were fancy adults talking everywhere, rose petals, vines, butterflies, and angels! It was like I was in a dream come true. Sometimes I saw princesses walking around too, and I wanted to live with them in their castles, but they never said anything to me. I saw some of the other girls say they got daddies too after waiting so long.

All of them talked about how good their daddies were, how strong and handsome they were, and how they protected them from bad people. All of my friends eventually got daddies, but I didn't. I thought they were really scary, and I always hide from them. I think I did something wrong.

Why didn't I get a good daddy yet?

From Linda Miller

P. S.- I got help with bigger words and the grammar stuff from my older friends, they're really good at that stuff.