Disclaimer: I don't own, except maybe Monica.

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Monica Banes wasn't used to not getting what she wanted. She was, for lack of any other term, hot. Tall, standing in at five eight, with a slim yet curvy figure that drew men's eyes to her like candy. So why was she alone, wanting romance, but rejected by the guy who'd gotten her attention. Her hand went to her phone, calling, hoping she could sound breezy. "Hi, it's Monica, the auburn haired girl from the party… You know, the one you and your friends threw at Kenan Thompson's house?"

"Auburn?" The voice asked.

"Dark red." Monica explained. "Sometimes bordering on, you know what? I'm the tall girl with the big knockers who was flirting with…"

"I know, he gets all the girls." The voice replied. "So why are you calling me?"

"I wasn't flirting with your friend." Monica snapped. Then, calming herself down, she tried a different approach. "Look, dude, I'm not calling to talk about him. I got your number from, well, far to many people to count, and I was wondering, you need a friend?" Her smile faltered. 'Good move, put him in the friend zone first. Like that won't blow up in my face.'

"Look, Monica… Um, red hair, blue eyes, and tall, right? I remember you." The voice said. "Look, I know why you want to hang out, and it's okay. Just, I can't be playing at helping him right now, cause I have romantic drama of my own…"

"I know, and she's playing hard to get." Monica reminded him. "Too hard, cause she wants someone else. I don't care what you think she wants, she wants someone else. So, maybe I want to be friends, and maybe, just maybe…" She hesitated, not wanting to be so obvious. 'Fuck it!' She decided, done with playing games with boys. "Look, I was thinking, you and me, we could maybe, you know, hang, and if things worked out, see where things go. I'm free, and your romantic entanglements don't seem to be working. Besides, I'm your type, cause I'm most guys type."

"Our type isn't just female." The boy insisted. But she could hear it, how his resolve was breaking. "Plus, I know, you saw my friend, and that's who you want. Northridge girls always want my friends..."

Sighing, she clarified. "Okay, three things. First, not all Northridge girls want the same thing…"

"Thus friends." The boy cut in. "If not…"

"Don't care." She snapped. "Two, I'm not from Northridge."

"Oh…"

"Yea, I was at that party because it was epic, and I wanted to have me a night of epic fun." Monica continued. "And three, and this is important, some of us have odd tastes in men. Like me, I'm into that whole nerd vibe, and I had me a shmorgishborg there last night. So no, I'm not calling because your friend is cooler, or hotter, or even a fucking puppet. I'm calling because I talked with you, up until we were interrupted, and I liked who you were. Yes, I get it, you're awkward and will have trouble getting used to me, cause hello, I know I can be high maintenance. Or rather, I come across as high maintenance. What I need is for my man to understand, I need a certain amount of attention. Nothing more, not six foot, with the six figure salary…"

Robbie Shapiro was speechless. "I…"

"I get it, even someone who comes across as desperate can reject a hottie who want them." Monica continued. "I mean, wasn't it Groucho Marx who once said 'I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member'? Some guys don't want the girls who want them, they want the unattainable, and it's less about looks than winning some contest. Well, mister, I'm a prize, and the way to win me is by being yourself. So, think you can handle that?"

"I… I…" He tried.

"Catarina, wasn't that her name?" Monica changed tactics, to frustrated to just admit she wasn't giving him time to come to terms with her liking him. "Loved the red hair. Dye job, right? That can't be too good for her hair. Mines natural, and sometimes, in the sun, it changed, bleaches a bit or gets darker. Whatever, you'll see, mine goes to the core." She had a momentary jolt of embarrassment when she realized what she'd just said. "I mean, you know what? Forget it. I'm hot, available, and frankly, mister, you're holding out for a girl who wants you, just, not you. So, I'm gonna pick you up tonight, cause I'm betting you don't have a car. I'll pick you up, take you on a nice, safe, chaste date, where we may have a good night kiss, but nothing more intimate, and we will see if I'm the girl for you, or if I'm just so frustrated with the guys who know they're the chiz that I'm willing to date a guy who admits to losing girls to his puppet."

"He doesn't like it when you call him a…"

"Okay, manikin. Whatever." Monica huffed. "I don't care how hard his little thing is, cause he can only talk with a hand up his ass. I need me a man who can at least talk without me having to push my fingers up his rectum…." For the second time, she felt that flash of embarrassment. Huffing, she let it go. "God, I never have to work this hard to get a fucking date…"

"But there won't be any, um… Not on this date." Robbie tried, but hesitated before saying the swear word.

"You know, you're right?" The tall girl stopped, smiling at the unintended humor. "There won't be. Not on the first date. But, and this is important, if the stars align, and everything goes exactly right, then we may eventually get to it. Just, sorry, I don't know why I'm so desperate to date a boy who needs is manikin to be his best friend. Leave Rex at home. I'm not finding him a date..."

"Rex can find his own dates." Robbie said.

"And while that doesn't surprise me, it does say a lot about Northridge girls." Monica told him. "I'll pick you up at seven, assuming you give me your address…" As he responded, she wrote down the number, and then said her goodbyes. Moments later, she walked over to her dresser, where she'd mounted a picture of an old man holding a puppet that looked a lot like Rex. "Okay, Grandpa, I've found a man like you. So, like Grandma, I'm going to give him an honest chance. Just, I did more for this date then any girl ever should, and somehow, I still want to blow him. Thinking, if we get along, maybe the second date…?"

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Not sure about this one, except to say, sometimes there are people with very specific tastes. Thoughts?