Sorry it's been a while, been busy and hadn't had much time to write. I hope this chapter makes sense, but don't expect the next one for a bit, as I have no idea where I'm going with this, but I promise I will finish it... Flashbacks in italics. Thanks for reading...
Chapter 5
Arizona
Pushing the front door, to my house open, "hello" I call out but got no reply, which was odd, letting out a sigh, I continue to the kitchen placing the bags I had in my hands on the counter and head back out for another trip. All the while wondering where the other occupants of the house had disappeared to. As I make my way back through the door, I hear "hi mom" coming from the couch.
"hi" I smile, Steph had once again taken up residence on the couch "how you feeling?" I ask, it's the same question I have asked her everyday since she was released from the hospital.
"oh you know" she shrugs, I let out a soft laugh, that's the same reply she's given me every day. I hear the clunk of her cast hitting the coffee table as she rests her leg on it. Setting down the bags I had in my hands I start going through them to put the items away. Hearing the sound of crutches hitting the floor, a sound I myself know all too well, I look up and see my daughter standing in the doorway "you want some help?"
"no, go back to the couch and rest" I say not taking my eyes off the bag I have my hand in
"mom, I can help, I'm not a cripple"
"really?" I look at her, we both look down at her cast, which at one time was white, but after the kids got ahold of some markers while she was asleep, is now an assortment of colors, we laugh "ok maybe I am a little but I can help"
"fine" I sigh, and get the chair "sit here and I'll hand you stuff"
"mom" she shakes her head "I can do more than that" she's getting irritated "you of all people know that" she's right, I sigh, I do a lot when I'm on my crutches, and with as much as she's had to use them over the years, she's gotten pretty good at it. "fine" I move to put the flour I had in my hand in the pantry, when I turn around Steph is at the fridge. I couldn't help but stop and watch her. She was a good kid and turned out to be an amazing adult. I remember when the girls were teenagers, and Steph came home from school one day and told us she was a lesbian.
Xxxxxxxx
"make sure your backpacks go in your room. Do you have homework?" I asked, coming into the house after picking up the girls from school.
"no" Sofia says, dropping her bag by the door and going into the kitchen, shaking my head I looked at my other daughter "how about you?"
"I have a bit" she says shrugging and not making eye contact with me, I nod and head into the kitchen, where I found Sofia digging around in the cupboards looking for a snack. I stood there and watched as she jumped onto the counter and was digging in the cupboard above the fridge. "what are you doing?"
"I'm hungry" she whined
"get your dirty feet off the counter, and why are you wearing shoes in the house?"
"oh" she says looking down at her feet "I forgot to take them off" she giggles, and goes back to digging into the cupboard
"why don't you get down and I'll make you something, I'm sure Steph is hungry too" shaking my head I open the freezer and pull out some pizza rolls, Sofia sees what I have and jumps down "yum pizza rolls" I swear she was salivating as she said it.
"will you turn the oven on?" I hear the beep of the oven, but when I turned around, I was alone in the room. Laughing to myself I reach for a cookie sheet and lay out the pizza rolls. They actually sounded good, I had gotten called into work early today, and didn't have a chance to eat lunch. After placing enough for the three of us on the cookie sheet, the oven beeped telling me that it was up to temp. After closing the oven door, I turn around and am met by a mopey looking blonde. "Steph?"
"I, I" she starts to say, she lets out a sigh "can you help me with my homework?"
"of course" I smile, she nods and goes to the table, opening her text book and notebook. Following her I sit down "what are you having problems with?" I ask resisting the urge to reach for the book. "stupid algebra" she groaned. "I just can't seem to get it"
"oh algebra" I smile, that was my favorite subject, after science of course. She slides the book over to me and she goes over the problem. Within minutes I had it figured out "do you understand how I got that?"
"no" she shook her head, I smile and begin to explain, in a way I know she'd understand. "oh I get it now" she smiles as she scribbles down on the notebook. "you should have been a teacher"
"yeah maybe" I laugh as the oven timer beeped, I push my chair back and stand calling for Sofia as I did.
With everyone's belly semi full, the girls ran off to do whatever they do after school. Steph had finished her homework while we ate our snack. Looking up at the clock I realize I need to find something for dinner. Callie would be hungry when she got home, and the little snack the girls and I just had wouldn't last long. Finding something simple that I knew Callie would like I set to work, and the next thing I know I feel a strong pair of arms wrap around me, and lips on my neck. "hi" I moan, as her lips hit that spot.
"hi" she says in a whisper "what you making? It smells amazing"
"nothing too fancy" I shrug
"we'll it smells amazing" she says just above my ear "no wait that's just you" she nibbles on my ear "can I just have you for dinner" her breath on my ear send shivers down my body, I set the spoon I had in my hand down and turn around in her arms. "how about desert?"
"sounds good to me" she smiles as she pulls me in, our kiss is soft at first, but heats up quickly.
"gross get a room" Sofia whines as she enters the room
"we have a whole house" Callie says laughing when Sofia groans.
"dinner should be ready in a few minutes" I say after placing a kiss on Callie's lips and turning my attention back to the stove.
"great I'm starved, I'm gonna go change" I didn't reply, she wasn't looking for a reply, as she left the room.
"I don't understand why you two are always all over each other" Sofia whines yet again. She always complained when she sees us kiss, but I know deep down she loves seeing it. After all she was the one who wanted us back together. It wasn't long before dinner was ready and the 4 of us were eating. Once we are done Callie and I tackle the task of doing the dishes together, I washed and she dried and put away. She was just putting the last fork in the drawer, when Steph comes in still mopey. She sat down at the table, letting out a long deep sigh. "what's up with you?" Callie asks as she tossed the towel onto the counter.
"nothing" Steph sighs
"you've been acting mopey since I picked you up from school" I say filling mine and Callie's coffee cups, and setting them on the table, as I sit down. Steph lets out another sigh, shaking her head. "I, ah, I" she says, not making eye contact. I reached for her hand, when Callie says "Stephanie" her tone is soft. When Steph looks up, meeting Callie's eyes, then mine, I can see the unshed tears in them. Cocking my head, I squeeze her hand "you know you can talk to us right" Callie says her voice still soft.
"I know" Steph nods, as a tear slips out of her eye, she quickly wiped it away. She sniffles "this is hard"
"your homework?" I ask
"no you already helped me with that" she sniffles "and I understand it now, you explained it way better than Mrs. Haney" I squeeze her hand again "I asked someone out today, and they" she stopped meeting both mine and Callie's eyes again, she took a deep breath, but didn't go on.
"who was it?" Callie asked "was it your science partner Scott?"
"no" she shook her head, and sniffled "it was Andrea"
"Andrea" Callie says sitting back in her chair, I could tell she was a little shocked at the news, but I just smiled, I knew something was going on, Sofia would come home talking about how hot Mike, the star of the basketball team was, but Steph never agreed with her, she didn't disagree either, but it reminded me of myself when I was a teenager. "I think" she starts to say, but corrects herself "I know I'm a lesbian"
"honey there's nothing wrong with that" my voice is soft, as I squeeze her hand
"in case you haven't noticed, your mom and I are lesbians" Callie says, causing us all to laugh
"well duh" Steph snorts, causing us all to laugh harder
"so what happened?" I wanted to know more "when you asked Andrea out?"
"she" Steph shook her head and I see the tears well up again "she told me she wasn't a damn dyke and to go find Stacey Marshall"
"Stacey Marshall?" Callie asked confused, I knew who Stacey Marshall was, at this point she was the only out girl in the girls' class. Plus, I had done an appy on her a few months back. While my brain is off it's own little tangent, Steph explains to Callie who Stacey is. "why would you think it'd be ok to ask out the head of the cheerleaders?" I hear Callie ask once my focus comes back.
"I, I don't know" she shakes her head "but now she's going to be telling everyone I'm a stupid dyke"
"I really hate that term" I mutter and I did, whenever I heard it, it brought me back to high school, kids, especially teenagers, can be so cruel.
"well I say roll with it" Callie says "we" she points to me and then back at herself "are here for you" a voice comes from the doorway "we're here for you too Steph" when I turn I see Zola standing there, Sofia behind her. I hadn't heard anyone at the door, I look at Callie confused, as Meredith walks into the room, and the tv turns on in the living room.
"fuck Andrea" Zola says
"I think that's what she was trying to do" Sofia laughs
"no, I wasn't" Steph starts to say but is cut off by Meredith "teenagers are so stupid I swear, I had one in the ER the other day, she was so worried that she wouldn't be able to participate in the game that night that she wouldn't let us do the surgery she needed to survive. Meredith continues as she reaches into the cupboard above the coffee pot, "and the boys" she shakes her head "one came in last week, or was it the week before" she pauses, shaking her head again "he and his buddies were lighting off fireworks, and they decided it'd be an amazing idea if they lite one off in his bum" the use of the word bum instead of butt, made the girls giggle. Or maybe it was the way Meredith said it, holding back my laugh I said "I remember that, poor boy had burns on his" I pause and smile "bum"
"I think the point they are trying to make Steph, is people are going to say and think what they want, some may be jealous, or some may feel threatened, but you" Callie says pointing at Steph "you need to just be you, and if you are a lesbian" she smiles, I feel myself smiling too "welcome to the club"
"we meet every 5th Thursday" I add, causing everyone to laugh.
Xxxx
Stephanie
I could feel mom watch me as I put the food away in the fridge, I don't know what was going through her mind, but when I turned around, I saw she was either deep in thought or needed to poop, as Ollie would say. "mom" my voice is soft "are you ok?"
"huh?" I see her come out of it "oh yes, I'm fine" she smiles. Before I can ask anymore, the house phone rings, she reaches over and answers it. No one ever called that, I don't even know why we still have it. "hello" I hear that sweet voice of Arizona Robbins say, then tune the rest of the conversation out. Looking at the coffee pot, it was off, so I decided to go about filling it. She'd want some in a few minutes anyway. After running the water and putting the grounds in, I'm about to hit the power button when I hear "we'll be right there" and she hangs up. "don't bother with that, grab your coat" I look at her confused "that was your momma, I don't know why she called the house phone, but" she says meeting my eyes "get your coat" I momentarily have a flash back to when I was a kid and her telling me that. I nod and head into the living room, reaching for a sweatshirt I had on the back of the couch I slipped it on, and we're out the door. I still have no idea where we are going or what's going on. "mom" I ask as we are at a stop light, I noticed we headed towards the hospital "Sofia is awake" she says quietly, almost too quietly, I almost didn't hear her. "Sofia is awake?" I parrot, she turns and looks at me. Her blue eyes full of tears she nods "Sofia is awake" I couldn't stop the tears from rolling down my face. It's been over a month since the car accident, I was in the hospital for 2 weeks of that, I'm told my leg was completely crushed, but momma taught Jo well, and she was able to piece everything back together, and in time I will have normal use of it. I reach up wiping the tears away, and notice we are already pulling into the parking lot. As we walk through the doors, mom walks over to a wheelchair, opening it up she points "sit" I learned not to argue with that request, besides I knew I'd be in pain if I tried to crutch my way to Sofia's room. Going around the house on these is one thing, but going long distances, nope not gonna do it. So I sit, and we start to move. At the elevator, she hits the button, and we wait, when the door opens Meredith is there. "good you're here" she smiles, and moves over so we can enter. "Callie called" was all that was said, as we ride the elevator in silence. When it stops, and the door opens "I'll push her" Meredith says, referring to me. Mom didn't argue, which was a surprise to both Meredith and I. As we get closer to Sofia's room, I find myself getting antsy. I couldn't wait to talk to my sister again, I missed her. I thought we would hear voices, or at least momma talking to her, we did that when we visited, I told her all about everything going on in my life, which consists of whatever corny tv show I found to watch. As we enter, I see a somber looking momma, and a confused looking Sofia laying on the bed. I watch as Sofia's eyes lit up when she saw mom but dulled when she focused on me. Mom must have noticed it too, as I saw her walk over to momma and have a whisper conversation. Meredith then leans down and whispers "her memory is a little fucked at the moment"
"what do you mean fucked?" I ask looking at my mother-in-law. Meredith looks at mom and momma who are in a whispered conversation we couldn't hear and pushed my wheelchair out of the room. Once we are in the hallway "Sofia doesn't remember you, or Sammi or Mark"
"but she remembers mom and momma" Meredith nods "and you?" she nods again. I could feel my heart break. "she remembers Zola too, but that's only because she's known us her entire lives"
"she's known me for nearly as long" I couldn't stop the tears now if I tried. Meredith bends down in front of me taking my hand. She took a deep breath "the first thing she asked was if she had to go back to New York"
"so she knows she's in Seattle?" I ask reaching up to wipe my face. Meredith hums, then steps away, handing me a box of tissues. "you got boogies" I can't help but let out a snort at that comment she used to tell us that when we were kids. I hear her take a deep breath "just give it sometime, this often happens to people who have been in a coma for a while" she goes off on some doctors speak which I tune out, I don't understand it anyway. "and what I'm saying is like gibberish to you" she laughs as I nod "just give it time" I nod again. As she takes hold of my chair and pushes me back into the room.
Xxxxxxxxxxx
Sofia
"you know you have to go back" my dad's voice is soft, so soft I almost didn't hear him over the waves crashing on the sand. I let out a sigh and look at him "I know"
"your family needs you" he says again, trying to give me a reason.
"I know dad" I sigh "I want to go back, I'm just" I stop and turn my focus to the water. "not ready yet" he says and I nod. "I'm enjoying this time with you"
"you know this isn't real right?"
"what?" I turned my attention back to him confused.
"all of this" he waves around "me, Derek, Lexie, this beach, it's not real" taking a deep breath, nothing hurt here, and the air smelled so fresh, how can this place not be real. "you know" he starts to say "a few years back when your momma was here" my mind flashes back to when the light in the OR had fell on her. "I had the same conversation with her" I nod "you're just like her" I look at him, meeting his eyes "and I'm so proud of you"
"thanks dad" I smile, I see the unshed tears in his eyes "I've always wanted you to say that" I give him a sad smile. And we sit in silence for a few minutes "how different do you think my life would have been if you wouldn't have died?"
"well" he says taking a deep breath "there's no way to know that, but I can say, the New York adventure wouldn't have happened"
"mom's say that too" I smile "I think if you were there they would have tried to work out whatever problems they had"
"before I died" he starts to say, he turns his head to look out over the water "your momma told me how bad it was at home, how your mom was treating her"
"I've heard it was bad, luckily I don't remember any of it"
"that's good"
"I wouldn't have been able to fix that, but maybe I could have talked to her, maybe make her realize sooner that her life didn't end because she lost a leg"
"it took her a long time to realize that" I reply "I honestly think it was up until momma got hurt and couldn't walk for awhile that she finally realized it"
"that long huh?"
"I don't know" I shrug "but I know momma told her she understood why she cheated"
"that's another thing, that's not the woman I knew, the Arizona Robbins I knew, wouldn't" he pauses "she loves your momma, has since their first kiss at Joe's" I smile I've heard that story more times than I can count. "and momma has loved her for that long" he nods. We are interrupted by Lexie "Mark" I see him take a deep breath "Sofia, you really need to go now" giving him a small smile I nod "ok"
"good" he stands, I do the same "oh one more thing, you're not going to remember Steph, or Mark or Sammi, I don't know how long it'll last" he didn't need to say anymore, I knew how all that worked. I nod and give him a sad smile and wrap him in a hug, I feel his stubble on my cheek, and I can't help but start to cry. He lets go and Lexie embrace me "be patient your memory will come back" she whispers as she lets go. Dad then reaches for me, and from a strength I didn't know he had he picks me up and throws me into the water. As I tread water to stay afloat, I start to hear the beeping of machines, and hear someone talk to me. I recognized the voice, it was my momma, I fight to open my eyes, as I do, I'm blinded by the light in the room. Closing my eyes shut, preparing myself for the brightness, I open them again. Turning to the right, where I heard momma's voice come from, she has her head down, and softly talking. No, that's not talking that's, that's praying. I try to talk, but that's when I realize I have a breathing tube in my mouth, and start to gag on it. "Sofia" momma moved quickly "shh baby, relax" she says as she moves, I'm starting to panic, this thing in my throat is. It wasn't long before someone comes in, oh thank god it's Aunt Bailey. "Sofia, honey relax" she says "I'm taking the tube out now" she says and I feel the thing being pulled out "now cough" she demands as I force myself to cough. I let out a loud bark, and I can finally breathe again. Taking a deep breath, I find my momma. "momma" I say, my voice is hoarse, and quiet. "I'm here Sof, I'm here" she says taking my hand. Then lean in placing a kiss on my forehead. "where's mommy?" I ask
"she's at home"
"home? Aren't we in Seattle?" I was confused, I feel a straw being pressed to my lips
"take small, slow sips" Bailey says, as I do as I am told "good" she smiles
"I want to see mommy"
"I'll go call her" Bailey says
"no, I'll call in a minute" momma says as she kisses me again
"it'll take her a while to get here, call her now"
"go I got her" Bailey says, it was then that I noticed how old they were, Bailey had some gray hair around her face, and my momma, my momma had bags under her eyes, but no gray. Looking down at my body I realize I'm an adult, but I don't remember growing up. "we're in Seattle right?"
"yes Sofia" she answered
"do I have to go back to New York"
"New York?" Bailey says shaking her head "no honey, you don't have to go back to New York" it's not long before momma and another doctor come in. I'm told it was Dr. Shephard but that can't be, Dr. Shephard is a guy, he was Uncle Derek, but he was dead…. Wasn't he? I'm so confused. "momma" I ask, once Dr. Shephard finished looking me over "yes baby"
"what happened?"
"you don't remember?" she looks at me, I could see sadness in her eyes, I shake my head, I see her take a deep breath "you were in a car accident baby, you've been in a coma for over a month"
"a car accident?" I ask confused, she nods "and we are in Seattle?" she nods. My head is starting to hurt, and I'm so confused. "Sofia" momma says softly, meeting her eyes "what's the last thing you remember"
"you and I were living with Penny in New York"
"ok"
"and I was coming back on a plane, alone, to visit mommy" I didn't feel right calling her mommy. Momma nods "but I'm guess that isn't right, since I'm in a grown ups body and your hair is gray"
"no honey, it's not right" she says taking my hand "why don't you get some rest, when you wake up your mom and sister will be here"
"sister?" I was confused, when did she or my mom have another kid, and why is she wearing that necklace? She told me I wasn't allowed to touch it. My head was starting to pound, I reach my hand up to rub at my temples. "here" she says handing me a little button, push that for the pain. I do, and am met with almost immediate relief. Laying my head back against the pillow, I start to doze off.
Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Callie
It wasn't long before Arizona is walking into the room, Sofia had woken up with the sound of someone coming into the room. I watched as her eyes met Arizona's and she smiled, but once she turned to Steph she got confused again. "I should have been here" Arizona says to me.
"its ok I was here"
"but it should have been me" she says "I want to know everything" thank god she is talking softly, I hear the sound of a wheel chair leaving the room, and when I glance up Meredith and Steph are gone. I motion for Arizona to sit, and to my surprise she does. "she's got amnesia"
"how far back?" she ask, this was the nice thing about talking to another doctor "um" I turn to Sofia "Sof, tell me again what's the last thing you remember"
"hi mom" she smiles
"hi baby girl" Arizona says reaching for her hand and kissing her cheek "I'm so glad you're awake"
"me too" Sofia smiles
"Sofia baby, what's the last thing you remember" Arizona asks, I have always loved how Arizona was with the girls when they were younger, "me and Zola playing and hearing you have a bad dream, so we called auntie Mer, and momma came" it changed, oh thank god she's getting her memory back slowly but it's coming. Arizona leans down kissing her forehead, "but who was that person in the wheel chair" I clear my throat "do you remember right before you took your little nap I said you had a sister?" she's quiet a moment, then I see her nod "that was Stephanie, your not much older sister"
"she's older than me?"
"not by much" Steph says from the doorway, Arizona and I watch as their eyes met.
"I, I don't remember you" Sofia's voice is soft and I can hear it start to break, Steph wheels herself to the other side of the bed, and reaches for Sofia's hand. "that's ok, you will in time"
"are you a doctor here too?"
"no" Steph shakes her head, that was when Sofia noticed the cast of Steph's leg "were you in the accident too"
"yes" Steph nods.
"Sofia" Zola almost screeches from the doorway, "you're awake"
"shh" Meredith scolds her "she just woke up from being in a coma, not to mention I think we are all deaf now"
"sorry mom"
"Zola?" Sofia says hesitantly, Zola nods and goes to the side of the bed that Steph is on, kissing Steph on the cheek.
"and you and her are together?"
"married, just over 10 years" Zola smiles
"so you married my sister?" Sofia laughs, Zola nods "remember when we used to joke about me marrying Bailey, so we'd be sisters?" I remembered that, that was when they were teenagers. "and Steph had just come out"
"it's coming back slowly" Arizona whispers to me. I nod, I could tell by the look in her eyes that she now remembered Steph, I look at Meredith who nods for us to join her in the hallway. Taking Arizona's hand I lead the way. "I think we should have Mark bring Sammi in, maybe Ollie and Liv too"
"you don't think that'd be too much?" Arizona asks
"she remembered something from their teenage years just by seeing Zola, maybe it'll help" I nod and reach for my phone. "I'll do it" Arizona says taking it and walking down the hallway. "how's she doing?" Meredith asks nodding towards Arizona. "oh you know" I said looking at my friend. She nods in understanding, it has been a long month. Meredith and I stand quietly until Arizona comes back "he's getting the kids from daycare and he'll be here" she says handing me back my phone, the three of us turn and look into the room. Watching as our three daughters giggle like they did when they were teenagers. "I sure hope this works" Arizona whispers
"me too" I hear Meredith say
"me three" I say letting out the breath I was holding.