AN: Just to clear something up, for this story, because Seddie never happened, Cat didn't call Freddie during #TheKillerTunaJump episode. Neither did Sam call Robbie. The jealousy only happened between the three girls, Sam, Cat, and Jade. Plus, we all know Sam and Cat being jealous in that episode was because they have feelings for each other and had nothing to do with the guys anyway.
Also, remember when I said this would get angsty AF? Well, this is your second warning. Complicated emotions lie ahead. It's what I'm best at, really. Angst. And hopefully, the romance. We'll see.
Chapter 3
The first thing Sam noticed when she woke up was the feeling of a light body resting on top of her. They had fallen asleep during their movie marathon and Sam was stretched out on her back on the couch. She looked down to see Cat resting directly on top of her laying on her stomach. The redhead's cheek was resting blissfully on Sam's chest and she was out like a light. Sam couldn't help but smile. She barely recalled Cat cuddling up next to her on the couch and didn't remember how they had gotten into this position.
The room was dark, only lit by the TV which was now rolling the end credits of the last movie they put on. Sam now remembered what happened. Cat had gotten up to use the bathroom at some point and Sam had taken the opportunity to stretch out on the couch on her back. She assumed she'd fallen asleep and Cat had just decided to lay on top of her after returning from the bathroom. Sam didn't know what to do. Should she wake Cat up? Her arms ached to wrap around the tiny redhead. She decided to indulge her heart a little. What harm could it do? Cat was asleep and it wasn't like Sam would be sending her mixed signals as she slept.
Sam slowly wrapped her arms around Cat and rested her hands on the redhead's back, hugging the smaller girl to her. It felt so good to hold Cat, even though Sam wouldn't admit it. Her heart melted just a little more when she heard Cat moan happily in her sleep. The blonde looked down and saw a smile form on Cat's lips. She worried that she had woken the redhead up when she hugged her but the smaller girl still had her eyes closed. Sam smiled, looking down at her. She is so ridiculously adorable, Sam thought. That dimple is going to kill me one day. Cat looked so happy in her slumber. She's probably dreaming about rainbows and little baby unicorns.
The redhead slightly moved in her sleep and she moaned again and made other 'happy sounds.' Sam wondered who she was dreaming about. Maybe she's dreaming of me, Sam thought as her heart sped up a little. Don't be stupid, Puckett. Cat probably has a string of guys (and girls) lined up ready to date her. What makes you think she'd choose you? Sam's heart gave a pang at this thought. What if she's dreaming about that dork, Robbie? Then Sam's heart dropped thinking about how she would feel when Cat inevitably brings home a date. Her heart ached at that and rage started to pulse through her at the thought of someone else kissing her Cat. Wait, my Cat? she thought. Cat is not mine, she reminded herself. But it felt that way since they spent the majority of their time together. Sam didn't have any other friends in LA, outside of Dice and Goomer. And Cat never spent time with her Hollywood Arts friends outside of school.
Sam had met her friends a couple times. They seemed like a nice group. She especially got along with Jade since they had a similar personality. Cat had seemed jealous when Sam had started hanging out with the goth girl more during that time when Dice needed someone to 'jump the killer tuna' and Sam just assumed the redhead was afraid of being left out. But her resentfulness seemed to take more of a 'jealous girlfriend' feel rather than just an 'abandoned friend'. What Sam didn't know was, Cat was worried that Jade would steal Sam away from her and the two would inevitably start to date.
Not knowing what to do, Cat simply began to withdraw from spending time with the two of them (together and separate) and became depressed. Sam sensed this and felt bad about becoming close with Jade. She didn't want Cat to feel left out or sad, so she stopped hanging out with Jade. Every once in a while, they would get together as a group but Sam made sure to hint at the fact that she wasn't interested in Jade romantically, or anyone for that matter. And the truth was, Sam didn't have feelings for anyone other than Cat. But for the most part, Sam and Cat only spent time with each other, no one else. Cat usually only hung out with her other friends at school. Sam didn't know it, but it was because Cat wanted to keep Sam all to herself.
Sam continued to ponder her feelings for Cat but the blonde's thoughts halted when she heard Cat's breathing pick up and she gasped in her sleep. Sam instinctively tightened her hold on the redhead in a protective way and Cat moaned again in response to Sam's touch. "Don't stop," Cat mumbled in her sleep. Sam's eyes widened. Oh, so it's that kind of dream, Sam thought with a grin. Cat hardly ever expressed any 'naughty' thoughts or feelings and the redhead's subconscious intrigued the blonde.
"Mmm, Sam," Cat murmured in that voice. The blonde thought her heart had stopped but she knew that couldn't be the case because she could now feel it pounding erratically in her chest. Sam had heard Cat say her name in many different ways over the months they'd lived together but never that way. Never in desire. Cat whimpered again and shifted in her sleep, squirming on top of the blonde. Cat's knee fell between Sam's legs and the blonde girl's breath hitched as arousal shot through her core.
Fuck! Sam thought as she tried to get her breathing under control. Cat had stopped squirming but her leg was now nestled precariously between Sam's legs. After a few awkward moments, Sam got her breathing in check and then decided she should try to get up. But how to do it without waking Cat? she thought.
Sam slowly began to maneuver herself out from under Cat, rolling the smaller girl onto her side onto the couch as she went. As Sam finally disentangled herself and stood up, Cat rolled onto her back but didn't stir once. Sam breathed a sigh of relief and shut off the TV. She wondered if she should just cover Cat with a blanket and head off to bed but then she realized Cat would be more comfortable in her own bed surrounded by her stuffed animals. Sam also didn't want Cat to become scared or confused if she woke up in the middle of the night in the dark living room by herself. The strong blonde gently scooped Cat up in her arms, bridal style, and carried her to their shared bedroom.
As Sam carried her down the hall, Cat stirred in her sleep and looked around confused. "Hmm, Sam…?" Cat trailed off sleepily. Sam looked down at her and smiled. Cat was half asleep.
"It's okay. I'm just carrying you to bed," Sam whispered trying not to wake her up all the way. Realizing she was safely in Sam's arms, Cat slumped her head back onto the blonde's chest and closed her eyes.
Sam finally made it to Cat's bed and gently laid her down in it and covered her with the blanket. Cat opened her eyes, sleepily smiled up at her and then wrapped her arms around the blonde's neck before Sam had a chance to straighten back up. "Mmm, thank you," Cat murmured and then placed a soft kiss onto Sam's lips. The blonde froze, still leaning over the sleepy redhead. Sam was stunned, her eyes wide open. Cat, on the other hand, had her eyes closed and looked so content as she smiled into the kiss. Then, after a few seconds, Cat finally released her, allowing Sam to pull away and stand up straight. The redhead mumbled, "G'night," and then rolled over onto her side, cuddling her purple giraffe in the process.
Sam just stood there dumbfounded. Cat had never kissed her on the lips before. Never even kissed her on the cheek. After a few seconds of standing there like a confused drunk, Sam finally made her legs work and stumbled over to her own bed. After flopping down onto it unceremoniously, she struggled to get under the covers and then just laid there on her back and pondered what the hell just happened. Cat had acted like nothing out of the ordinary just occurred and Sam wondered if she had imagined the whole thing.
Okay, maybe Cat actually likes you, LIKE THAT, she thought to herself. But…maybe she just did it in her half-asleep state and didn't even realize what she did. She'll probably forget about it by morning. And even if she meant to do it, it doesn't mean she's in love with you. And…even if she is, it doesn't mean you have to do anything about it. I'M NOT IN LOVE WITH CAT!
You are such an idiot, Puckett! She has a sex dream about you and then she KISSES you!
Sam knew she was screwed. Her heart had leapt for joy the second Cat's lips touched hers. She knew she loved Cat. But she wouldn't dare do anything about it. She couldn't. Her heart was still broken from Carly and she didn't know if she had the strength to heal it, not to mention the courage to let it feel love again. It was too painful. Especially if things didn't work out with Cat. For the longest time after Carly left, Sam didn't know if she could continue her life. But Cat had started giving her reasons to stay and making her feel like life was worth living.
It took her a long time before she felt drowsy enough for sleep but she finally felt herself drifting off. No sooner had she slipped into the dream world, then she felt the covers being lifted and a warm body scooting up next to hers. She groaned in frustration.
"Cat! I'm too tired for this," Sam angrily mumbled without even opening her eyes. She was no longer flustered at the kiss situation. She just wanted to go to sleep.
She felt Cat cuddle into her side and wrap an arm around her waist. Sam was still on her back and she groaned again. "I-I'm sorry," Cat whispered nervously.
"You wake me up almost every night-"
"About the kiss," Cat cut her off.
Sam finally opened her eyes and could just barely make out Cat's nervous face. She had been hoping the redhead would have forgotten about it. But Cat had woken up almost as soon as she had drifted off after the kiss and was nervous about it. She was always worried she would eventually scare Sam off with her abnormal ways and random behavior. But now, Cat was scared she had made things irrevocably awkward between them.
"Ah, don't worry about it, kid. It's okay," Sam played it off as if it were nothing. She closed her eyes and tried to get sleep to come to her again but she felt soft lips kissing her cheek and her eyes shot open again. Was this an apology kiss or did Cat think the blonde was giving her the green light to do it again since Sam said it was 'okay'?
Cat's lips lingered on Sam's cheek and then the redhead pulled back and closed her eyes, nestling into Sam's side even more. Guess I won't be sleeping tonight, Sam thought as her heart rate shot up. But in spite of Sam's anxiety, she was able to drift off about a half hour later after trying in vain to convince herself that her pulse was only racing because she couldn't remember if she had left her motorcycle key in the ignition or not. But deep down, she knew her heart was racing because of the adorable redhead that was currently wrapped around her.
Cat woke to the sound of heavy breathing. It was light in the room but still early. She saw that Sam was still asleep but she appeared to be having a bad dream. Her face was contorted in pain and sadness and she was gasping for breath.
"I'm sorry!" Sam mumbled in her sleep. She looked so sad. "It's all my fault!" Sam's head turned from side to side. "No!" she nearly shouted.
Cat leaned over her and placed her hand to the blonde's cheek to try to wake her. She didn't like it when Sam was upset, even in her sleep. "Sam?" Cat called gently, trying to wake her friend so she wouldn't have to continue the disturbing dream. "Sam," she called again and started shaking her shoulders. In a flash, the blonde had unexpectedly grabbed Cat's wrists and flipped her onto her back, straddling her and pinning her wrists down to the bed above her head.
"What the chiz?" Sam asked confused and sleepy, having finally woken up all the way. She blinked and glanced around the room. Cat just stared up at her startled and surprised. Her cheeks flushed when she felt herself stir below the waist at Sam's closeness. Sam looked down at her and felt remorse. "Uh…sorry," Sam mumbled when she realized what she'd done. She rolled off the redhead and started to get up.
Cat didn't mind. She loved the closeness to Sam. The blonde pinning her to the bed had flooded her with arousal and she gulped, trying to get herself back under control. It made her want to jump Sam but she held back. "It's okay, but it sounded like you were having a nightmare. Are you okay?" Cat asked in concern.
"Yeah, sure. I'm fine," Sam said, not sounding sincere at all. She headed to the bathroom in order to prevent any further discussion. She didn't want to have to tell the redhead about her dream which involved her old life back in Seattle. Once she closed the bathroom door behind her, she wiped away a tear and started getting ready for the day.
Sometime later, they were at Punchy's Gym. The redhead had insisted on going with Sam again. She secretly liked to watch her workout. Cat cheered Sam on as she sparred with her training partner. Sam focused on the fighter in front of her and tried not to let Cat's cheers distract her, but they were making Sam's face flush. Luckily, no one could tell since they would just assume it was from her exerting herself. As Cat watched Sam take down her opponent, she felt her face go hot. Watching Sam fight and work out was a major turn on to the redhead. Seeing her toned muscles in action and the sweat rolling down the blonde's smooth skin was enough to make Cat's heartbeat speed up and her loins burn. Throughout the rest of the training session, Cat stared longingly at Sam in desire as the blonde lifted weights, did sit-ups, ran a few laps on the running track and did other various exercises. Cat didn't know how much more she could take.
After three hours of rigorous workouts, Sam was done and Dice told her to hit the showers. Sam sprinted over to Cat where she was sitting on the bench and grabbed her water bottle. She was out of breath from her workout and took a few gulps of cold water. "Hey, you ready to get out of here?" Sam asked her with a smile, still panting.
"Sure," Cat smiled back, unable to hide her blush, and Cat's dimple made Sam's heart flutter.
"Okay, just let me shower real quick and we can go get some lunch," Sam responded, still grinning at her.
"'Kay 'kay," Cat replied. And with that Sam grabbed her bag and headed for the showers.
Cat exhaled heavily, trying not to picture Sam in the shower. Naked and wet. Does she have any idea what she does to me? Cat thought. The redhead had never seen anyone as beautiful as Sam. Someone so strong, independent, and tough. Yet, sweet and sensitive at the same time. Cat knew that Sam didn't show her sweet side to just anyone and she felt lucky to be one of the few who got to see that side of her.
Dice caught Cat wistfully staring off in the direction Sam had headed. She had a pained, longing look on her face. He could tell the redhead was crushing majorly hard on the blonde and he decided to say something to her. The curly haired boy strolled over and sat down next to her on the bench. They just sat there for a few moments and then Dice finally broke the silence.
"Do you want to talk about it?" the 13-year-old asked. Cat looked over to Dice with a nervous expression. When she didn't say anything, Dice went on, "I know you like Sam. I've seen the way you look at her." Cat gulped but remained silent and a scared look crossed her features. "It's okay," Dice quickly added with a smile, "I'm fine with it, just so you know. There are plenty of people who judge others' personal preferences but I'm not one of them. You can't help how you're born or who you fall in love with."
Cat sighed and said, "I…I don't know what to do. I've never felt this way about anyone before. It's scary, not just because she's a girl and I'm not supposed to feel this way about her. But also, because she's my best friend and I don't want to lose her. I don't know if she feels the same way."
"You're supposed to feel however you feel," Dice said with sympathy. "It's natural. Have you talked to her about it?"
"No," Cat replied sadly. "I can't. What if she hates me after I tell her I'm in love with her? What if I make her leave?" She looked down at her shoes uncertainly. Dice didn't have an answer for her. He hoped that Sam wouldn't react that way but she was sometimes unpredictable. "I can't lose her. She means so much to me. I-I don't even know if she's into girls. Do you think Sam likes me that way?" she asked.
"I don't know," Dice replied uncertainly. He'd seen the way Sam was with Cat. Sweet and soft. She wasn't that way around other people. He knew Sam cared about Cat but he wasn't sure if the blonde was in love with her. He was pretty sure Sam liked girls. He'd seen the flirty way they would talk to Sam. And Sam never seemed to shy away from them. "But there's only one way to find out," Dice went on, "don't you think it's worth it to find out? Yeah, she might not react the way you want but you'll never know if you don't try and you may even lose her anyway if you don't show her how you feel."
Cat considered this as she looked down at the floor deep in thought. As Dice looked at Cat, he realized the redhead wasn't nearly as ditzy as she let on to everyone. Maybe that's just a façade, Dice thought. At least some of it, maybe. To cover how insecure she is. The way Sam uses anger and humor as a front to keep people at a distance.
"How is Sam when it's just the two of you? When no one else is around?" Dice asked. He had a feeling that Sam was probably sweeter to Cat when they were alone.
"Well," Cat thought about it for a second before continuing, "she can be really sweet. Like last night, she carried me to bed after I fell asleep on top of her on the couch." Dice smiled at this. Cat intentionally left out the part about the kiss. "But I sometimes get mixed signals too."
"What do you mean?" asked Dice.
"Sometimes, she can be rude. Like pushing me off the bench on Yay Day, even though I deserved that one. And other times, she does really sweet things for me. Things that I don't think she would ever do for anyone else."
"Like what?" Dice asked, wanting her to continue. He already knew of some of the sweet things Sam did for Cat but he wanted Cat to voice them so she could see that Sam really did like her. Because Dice knew that Sam wasn't sweet to just anyone and he had a feeling Sam was in love with Cat but was too afraid to admit it to the redhead.
Cat went on to tell Dice about the many times Sam had done nice, sweet things for her. She spoke of the time Sam had stolen the entire set of That's a Drag and brought all the furniture back to their apartment just so Cat would always have a piece of her favorite show that got cancelled. She recalled Sam looking sad when Cat had come home crying about the show being cancelled and she even wiped Cat's tears away.
Then Cat told Dice about the time Sam intentionally got herself arrested just so Cat wouldn't go to Juvie by herself after the whole 'Magic ATM' fiasco. Cat also spoke of how Sam made an entire audience pay attention to her one-girl play, "Babe-raham Lincoln" when all they wanted to do was play Brain Crush. She got a whole dojo of kids to destroy all their phones and tablets so they could finally pay attention to her. And she recounted the time Sam defended her to Peezy B when he hurt her feelings and then later Sam quit her job with him just to make Cat happy because she missed Sam.
"And I told you about how she saved me from the garbage truck the day we met, right?" Cat asked Dice.
"Yep," Dice nodded. He remembered how enamored Cat had been that it was Sam from iCarly who had saved her and how they had started becoming friends. When Cat had first told him about it the day after it happened Cat was so excited and smitten.
"She literally saved my life that day," Cat said with a smile, remembering that day fondly. "I wouldn't be here right now if it weren't for Sam."
"I think you have your answer," Dice replied, "Sam seems to really care about you. I know she wouldn't do all those things for just anyone."
"But I don't know if she cares about me as just a friend or something more. And I know she's helped you out a few times too," Cat said uncertainly, knowing that Sam would help out someone who was 'just a friend' as well. And they had been complete strangers when Sam had saved her life from the garbage truck.
"But it's different," Dice replied. "When she helps me out, she always acts like she wants to be somewhere else. Mostly, because I think she does. She wants to be with you." Cat thought about this with hope but still looked uncertain.
They sat in silence for a while, each in their own thoughts. "So, are you excited about starting your senior year?" Dice asked trying to change the subject after seeing the sad look on Cat's face. They talked about different things over the next several minutes until they looked up and saw Sam exit the restroom dressed in fresh clothes and her bag slung over her shoulder. But before she could get too far, a girl stopped her. Dice caught the concerned look on Cat's face as she watched them from across the room. They were too far away to hear what was being said over the noise of the gym. The girl who stopped Sam was a pretty brunette dressed in a skimpy sports bra and short athletic shorts. She smiled at Sam and said something to her.
Cat wished she could hear their conversation. Sam grinned and said something in reply and the girl laughed and put her hand to Sam's shoulder, gently shoving her in a flirtatious way. Cat gasped and her heart dropped. Sam had a smile on her face but looked uneasy at the same time. The flirty girl said something else to Sam and the blonde scratched the back of her head in a nervous way and then shrugged. She reached into her pocket and pulled out her cell phone. Flirty girl took Sam's phone and then tapped on the buttons for a few seconds. Is she giving Sam her number? Cat thought fearfully. The brunette handed Sam her phone back to her and smiled with a blush on her face. Then she took a hesitant step closer and touched Sam on her bicep, letting her fingers glide down her arm. That's it! Cat thought angrily.
"Uh, I gotta go, Dice. See you later," Cat quickly muttered to him and then hurried off in Sam's direction.
Who does this chick think she is? Flirting with MY Sam! Cat thought furiously as she approached them.
As soon as she was close enough, Cat said, "Hey, Sam, you ready to go?" with a smile on her face and then grabbed Sam's hand possessively. The brunette took a step back away from Sam and disappointment spread across her face.
"Oh…uh, yeah," Sam said confused, looking down to their hands intertwined. Why is Cat…? Is she…jealous?
"So, who's your friend?" Cat asked a little too politely.
"Um, this is Jenna," Sam introduced, "she goes to college nearby."
"Yeah, I'm starting my sophomore year at USC in a couple weeks," Jenna said boastfully. "And…you are?"
"This is Cat, my roommate," Sam said.
"And her partner," Cat quickly added with a smile.
"Business partner," Sam clarified and Cat had a hurt look.
"Business partner?" Jenna asked.
"We run a part time babysitting service together," Sam answered nonchalantly.
"Ah, and where do you two go to school?" Jenna asked.
"Well, I'm planning to take some online college courses while I train for the MMA," Sam answered and Jenna's eyes lit up in interest.
"And I'm a senior at Hollywood Arts," Cat added.
"Isn't that a high school?" Jenna asked in a snobbish way.
"It's more of a prep school for those who want to go into the preforming arts," Cat replied.
"Ah, well I was just telling Sam that she looked so familiar but then we were interrupted before she could tell me why," Jenna said somewhat rudely.
"Oh, you probably just recognize me from iCarly," Sam mumbled casually, becoming a bit nervous with the way Jenna and Cat were speaking and glaring at each other. She was hoping they could wind down this conversation soon.
"Oh my god! You're Sam from iCarly! I thought you looked familiar. I loved that show!" Jenna gushed as she realized. She seemed even more interested in Sam now. "Didn't you do that show from Seattle? What brings you to LA?"
"Uh, well…we uh, just kinda went our separate ways after high school so we decided to end the show," Sam said with sadness in her eyes. Cat caught this and realized Sam was trying to avoid the topic. She didn't know all the details of how iCarly ended but she knew Sam wasn't being one hundred percent truthful. She knew Sam had left Seattle at the beginning of her senior year. And other things had transpired that led to that.
"Oh, well since you're new to LA, you should give me a call. I can show you around," Jenna said with a grin.
"Well, she's lived here with me for almost a year so she doesn't need a tour guide and if she did, I'd be a much better choice!" Cat said in an irritated tone. Jenna looked shocked.
"Cat…" Sam calmly said in a cautious voice, trying to diffuse the tension. She didn't know why Cat seemed to be so rude all of the sudden. Usually, Cat was polite to most people.
Cat looked at her wrist and said, "Oh, would you look at the time. We have to get going."
"You're not wearing a watch, Cat," Sam pointed out.
"Come on, Sam," Cat blurted out, ignoring Sam's comment. "We don't want to be late. It was nice meeting you, Gina."
"It's Jenna," the brunette corrected annoyed.
"Sure, whatever," Cat mumbled before gripping Sam's hand tightly and pulling her away and out the exit.
As they walked across the parking lot towards Sam's motorcycle, the blonde pulled her hand out of Cat's and said, "Uh, are you going to tell me why you were so rude back there?" Sam had an idea but she was hoping Cat would just come out with it and tell her that she had feelings for her.
"I don't know what you mean."
"Cat, you nearly bit her head off for making casual conversation. Now, will you tell me what that was all about?"
"You tell me, Sam!" Cat retorted, rounding angrily on the blonde and making her stop in her tracks. "I didn't even know you liked girls!"
"Is that what this is about?" Sam asked, "do you have a problem with gay people?"
"Of course not, Sam! I've just never seen you show any interest in anyone since I've known you." Except me, Cat thought sadly.
"Then what is it?" Sam asked, hoping to incite a real answer from her. Tell me you're jealous, Cat, Sam thought pleadingly as she waited for an answer. Tell me you love me and I'll kiss you right here, right now. Sam didn't know for sure if Cat liked her that way but she was hoping to find out. The kiss Cat had given her the previous night could have just been a friend kiss. Sam was almost willing to throw caution to the wind and just tell Cat she loved her, even though she had promised herself she'd never love again.
But if Cat wasn't interested, she wasn't going to put herself out there and get crushed. She'd keep her feelings bottled up and resume pretending. Her heart was still shattered and the pieces spread across the floor from how her previous relationship ended. She didn't have the will to pick them up and glue her heart back together unless she was 100 percent sure that Cat felt the same way. And even if Cat liked her that way, she still wasn't sure she could go forward with a relationship with her. Her wounds were still too fresh.
"Do you like her?" Cat finally asked with a frown, hurt evident in her eyes.
The question caught Sam off guard. "What?" she asked, stalling.
"Do you like that Jenna girl? Are you going to call her?"
"I…I don't know," Sam finally answered truthfully and sadly. She was sad because she was worried Cat would never love her the way she loved Cat and she didn't want to have to call Jenna or any other girl and try to move on but knew she probably would have to at some point. After a few silent moments, she added, "Is there a reason I shouldn't call her?" Give me a reason, Red. Please, Sam thought imploringly.
Cat looked her in the eye and saw that underlying sadness that Sam rarely ever showed anyone. But she misinterpreted it. She thought the blonde was disappointed with her. She thought Sam was asking Cat to let her be happy. Sam deserves to be happy, even if it's not with me. Cat looked down at the ground and quietly said, "No, I guess not." They both felt their hearts drop.
They decided to pick up free Inside-Out-Burger on their way home instead of going to Bots. Ever since resuscitating the manager there, they usually used their free meal ticket at least once a week just to save money. And it was one of their favorite fast-food places. They entered their apartment and then ate in silence as they sat across from each other at the kitchen table. Luckily, Cat had reminded Sam about her special diet now that she was in training, while they were at the drive-thru window. And, fortunately, Inside-Out-Burger had some healthy alternatives. They each got a grilled chicken sandwich on a whole grain bun with a side of fresh fruit. They also got a large garden salad to split. Cat didn't mind eating healthy and wanted to support Sam with her new training regimen. It made things easier to eat healthy when others around you were doing the same.
When they were done, Cat got up from the table, leaned down and kissed Sam on the cheek and then started to clear the table. Sam had frozen but didn't say anything. Her cheeks had flushed at the contact. Cat just acted like it was no big deal. She was now over at the sink washing her hands and humming a song. Sam just decided to let it go. Maybe it's just a friend kiss, the blonde thought. She's probably just trying to make me feel better after our argument.
That night, they sat so close to each other on the couch while watching TV, it made Sam reconsider Cat's possible feelings towards her. She was convinced the redhead was physically attracted to her. But that didn't mean she was in love with Sam. And Sam had to be careful of this. She couldn't get into a 'friends with benefits' relationship with Cat. She liked her home here and didn't want to screw it up and get kicked out. Plus, she knew her heart couldn't take it if Cat turned out to only want her in a sexual way. Not when Sam was harboring such strong feelings for Cat. Sam wanted to keep her hands to herself but was finding it harder and harder with the way Cat was constantly touching her and snuggling into her.
Sam also felt guilty for letting herself fall for Cat. She felt like she was somehow cheating on Carly, even though they weren't together anymore. It's your fault Carly's not here, Sam thought to herself sadly. You could still be with her right now if you hadn't made the biggest mistake of your life. You're so stupid! How could you let her leave like that?
Cat got up to go to the bathroom. When she returned a few minutes later, she plopped down next to Sam, grabbed her arm in a hug and kissed her on the cheek. Sam didn't react outwardly. On the inside, however, her heart rate had shot up, causing her to feel hot all over. They didn't discuss anything. Just kept watching TV. Cat had been doing this all afternoon and evening since they had gotten home. Sam assumed it was just that Cat was jealous of Jenna and didn't want Sam to suddenly start spending all her time with the girl. Plus, Cat had always been physical with her. The redhead always seemed to be touching her in some way. It was probably just the natural progression of being friends with Cat. Even though Sam knew Cat wasn't this way with any of her other friends.
But what Sam didn't know was, Cat had been kissing her on the cheek and being more intimate with her because she was taking Dice's advice. She was showing Sam how much she liked her in the hopes that Sam would return those feelings. She supposed she should just come right out and say that she loved Sam but Cat was still too afraid to do that. She didn't want to lose Sam.
The blonde felt Cat lean her head against her shoulder and this made Sam's heart flutter. She wrapped her arm around Cat and let the redhead lean into her. What are you doing, Sam? the blonde thought to herself.
Just shut up, brain. For once, just shut up. She knew her heart would probably pay for this later when Cat inevitably said something like, 'I'm so glad we're friends.' And only friends, Sam added sadly. But she couldn't help it. She craved holding the redhead close.
Cat's heart almost exploded when Sam wrapped her arm around her. Sam rarely showed any physical affection towards her but when she did Cat thought she'd died and gone to heaven. She smiled and sighed in content as she leaned against Sam and wrapped her own arms around the blonde, totally absorbed in the feeling of her. She didn't know what was playing on the TV and she didn't care. Sam smiled when she felt Cat's arms wrap around her in return and the redhead laid her head against her shoulder.
The movie ended all too soon and Sam stood up to stretch. "I think I'm gonna hit the hay," she said with a yawn. Normally, she stayed up later than 10pm but the hours she spent working out over the past couple days were starting to wear on her. She knew it would be a while before she got used to it. Her muscles were sore and she was tired. She knew it would be a good idea to listen to her body and go to sleep.
They got ready for bed, changing into pajamas, brushing teeth and finishing other nightly rituals, and then each got settled in their own beds with the lights turned off. Just as Sam was about to drift off, she felt her covers being lifted and a small body sliding in next to hers. Sam was laying on her back and didn't even bother to open her eyes. "Cat…" Sam sleepily protested. She just wanted uninterrupted sleep. She felt the little redhead roll onto her side and then soft lips kissing her neck.
Sam's eyes shot open wide. Cat was kissing and nibbling her neck. Because Sam hadn't protested to her kisses on the cheek all evening, Cat had taken this as her cue to proceed. She was assuming Sam was giving her the green light. She moved her lips to the blonde's in a searing kiss and caressed Sam's cheek with her fingers. Sam wasn't sure what to do as she felt her pulse skyrocket. It felt amazing but she suddenly felt nervous. She knew she had to put a stop to this soon or else her raging hormones would take over and then things would just be awkward in the morning.
Cat situated herself directly on the blonde, laying on top of her; never breaking the kiss. "Cat…what…are you…doing?" Sam was able to get out around Cat's kisses.
"Kissing you," Cat whispered out around kisses. Sam had puckered her lips in order to cushion the blow of Cat's firm kisses but she had yet to really kiss back. She wanted to but knew she couldn't let this get out of hand. "Please, Sam," Cat breathed out desperately against the blonde's lips. She was aching for Sam to touch her. She'd been longing for it for nearly the past year since they became roommates and each day had gotten more painful when Sam didn't.
"Please…be with me," Cat whispered before going back to kissing her. It pained her to say the next sentence but she said it anyway, worrying that Sam might only be physically interested in her. "It doesn't have to mean anything if you don't want it to," Cat murmured. "Just please…" she trailed off as her lips went to Sam's neck and began sucking her soft skin there; her body pressing Sam's into the mattress. But Cat desperately wanted it to mean something to Sam because it meant everything to Cat.
Sam was in shock. She just laid there dumbfounded, allowing the smaller girl to kiss and caress her. Cat's last sentence broke her heart. It doesn't have to mean anything? Sam thought. How can she say that? Sam wanted it to mean something. But she knew for sure she couldn't do this if it meant nothing to the redhead. Cat's lips went back up to Sam's and her hand slipped from the blonde's cheek down to her stomach. She slipped her fingers up under Sam's shirt and began slowly caressing her soft smooth skin, admiring her toned abs. Sam had her arms resting at her sides. They ached to wrap around the redhead and her lips wanted to kiss back so badly. Her body was responding to Cat. She felt the throbbing and aching feeling between her legs. Sam squeezed her eyes shut, trying to push down the feelings. It took everything in her but eventually, Sam got her wits about her.
"Cat, stop," Sam managed to mumble against the redhead's lips but she didn't seem to hear her. "Cat!" Sam yelled more firmly. But the redhead just continued kissing her passionately as if her life depended on it.
When Sam felt Cat's slender fingers dip below the waistband of her pajama pants under her boxers, Sam finally pushed the redhead off her and climbed out of bed. Cat had rolled to the side but didn't fall off the bed. She looked shocked and hurt. Sam was just standing there staring at her wide-eyed and panting heavily. Cat was finding it hard to regain her own breathing. She didn't know what to say. The redhead suddenly felt ashamed and she sat up on the bed, pulling her legs up and wrapping her arms around her knees. She let her head slump down and she quietly sobbed. Sam doesn't want me! she thought devastated. She also felt guilty for forcing herself on the blonde when Sam clearly wasn't interested. She just loved Sam so much and thought that if she showed her how much she loved her, then Sam would be honest about her feelings too.
Sam didn't say anything as she pulled her boots on, grabbed her phone and headed for the bedroom door. Cat looked up at this. Oh, no! Sam's going to leave me! she thought heartbroken. Just like everyone else. Cat jumped off the bed and followed Sam out into the living room. The blonde grabbed her black leather jacket, helmet, and keys and headed for the back patio doors and flung them open.
"Sam, wait! Please don't leave me! I-I'm sorry! Please!" Cat cried as Sam mounted her bike after pulling her jacket on.
Sam paused and looked up at the redhead. Tears were streaming down her face and she looked so sad. Sam felt bad but she needed some air and needed to think. She always felt better after a ride on her motorcycle. She didn't say anything as she pulled her helmet on.
"Where are you going?" Cat asked as she continued to sob.
"I don't know," Sam mumbled quietly, tightening her helmet strap.
"When are you coming back?" Cat choked out sadly. When Sam didn't say anything, she added, "Are you coming back?" She sniffled and wiped her face.
Sam didn't say anything as she put the key in the ignition and started her bike. Cat just cried harder and then she wrapped her arms around Sam's neck in a desperate attempt to keep her from leaving. "Please, Sam! I'm sorry!" Sam froze for a few seconds, her resolve fading a bit. Then she forcefully pulled Cat's arms away from her and started backing the bike up out of her parking spot. Cat could do nothing but cry and wrap her arms around herself as she watched Sam ride off into the night.
AN: I'd love to know what you think. Please review. You'll also find out what went down between Carly and Sam in the next chapter.