AN: Yay, the hurricane is passing me by unscathed. I was worried the power would get knocked out and I wouldn't be able to post this chapter for a few days. Anyway, glad I didn't get blown away. I hope you enjoy this chapter. :)
Chapter 5
The next morning, Sam woke first and saw that Cat was still wrapped around her. The redhead's legs were tangled with hers, her head resting on Sam's shoulder, and her fist was gripping the blonde's shirt tightly as if to keep Sam from leaving her again. Sam smiled down at Cat's sleeping form. God, why does she have to be so beautiful? Sam thought. And adorable? And gorgeous? She felt guilty for falling for Cat and she was angry at herself, feeling as if she were somehow cheating on Carly. How can I love two different women at the same time, even if one of them is dead? I'm despicable. But…would Carly really be angry at me? Deep down, Sam knew the answer was 'no', but she still felt guilty. And she wasn't ready to move on. She couldn't let go of Carly yet. Grief was a complicated beast.
Sam noted that she felt a little better than the night before. Breaking down in front of Cat had actually been cathartic for her, finally letting out a bit of her sorrow. Holding her grief in all the time was exhausting and she knew it would eventually kill her if she didn't do something about it. She felt slightly better but still guilty and depressed. She didn't want to be in love with Cat. But it had happened and she needed to figure out how to deal with her complicated emotions before they got the better of her. Even though Sam felt guilty, she decided to indulge her aching heart just a tiny bit and wrapped her arm around the redhead's waist, resting her hand on her hip and then kissed Cat on the top of her head. This made the redhead stir in her sleep and she smiled as she met Sam's eyes.
"Good morning," Cat greeted, smiling even wider once she realized Sam had just cuddled and kissed her.
Oh, god, the dimple! Sam thought as her heart sped up. And the eyelashes. And the lips!
"Morning," Sam mumbled sleepily.
"Did you sleep well?" Cat asked, hoping the blonde had had some restful sleep after her stressful night, all the while loving the feeling of Sam's arm wrapped around her.
"Not too bad," Sam replied with a slight smile. Because I had a beautiful redhead wrapped around me all night.
The awkward tension from the previous night's events had mostly vanished and Cat was relieved to see that Sam was feeling somewhat better. She knew it would be a while before Sam got through her grief, if ever. It seemed that Sam had finally allowed herself to start to mourn and that stage was different for each person who went through it. Cat hoped she could help Sam heal over time. She knew it could take a while but she was willing to put forth the effort. She would do anything for Sam. "Good," Cat replied. "I'm glad."
Cat realized she had been gripping Sam's shirt in her fist and slowly released it, smoothing out the fabric and then letting her hand simply rest on the blonde's stomach. Sam had tensed at the intimate contact but then relaxed. The two of them laid there in silence for a while, still cuddling close, not meeting each other's eyes. Sam started to feel nervous as her heart rate picked up. Just holding Cat close was enough to make her edgy. Cat listened to the sound of Sam's breathing and she smiled. Normally, they didn't just lay together like this in the morning. Usually, when they woke up, one or both of them got out of bed right away to start the day, trying to diffuse the awkwardness. It felt nice to simply be with each other.
Then Cat felt Sam gently caressing her arm with her fingers. The redhead smiled wider and blushed a deep red as she felt her heart speed up. Just the simple loving contact from Sam was enough to drive her crazy. Her breathing increased and she felt excited. Sam was never this affectionate with her, especially while cuddling close in such an intimate way. Suddenly, thoughts of Sam kissing her and covering her with her body raced through Cat's mind and she was flooded with arousal.
She was suddenly hyperaware of Sam. The feeling of her toned abs under her hand, with only the thin fabric of her shirt in between. The sound of her nervous breathing. Her natural scent that was a mix of vanilla and summer rain. And like Cat, Sam was also abruptly aware of everywhere the redhead was touching her. Cat's hand resting on Sam's stomach. The redhead leaning into the blonde's side. Cat's legs locked with one of Sam's. And her head resting on Sam's shoulder. It was enough to make the blonde crazy.
Cat looked up at Sam's face to see the blonde staring down at her. Her deep blue eyes that Cat could stare into forever seemed to be gazing back into hers with a fierce love. Eyes that could pierce directly into her soul and make her hypnotized and compelled to do the blonde's every bidding. Then Cat's eyes glanced down to Sam's plump lips, aching to kiss them and wanting so desperately to lick the cute little freckle just above the top of her upper lip, to the side of her mouth.
And, as if she could read her mind, the blonde licked her lips, almost in anticipation. And in return, Cat felt herself unconsciously moistening her own lips. Their faces were mere inches apart. Cat looked back up into Sam's beautiful, penetrating eyes, mesmerized by their beauty. And Cat felt like she was falling all over again. A shiver involuntarily spread throughout her body and this made Sam gently run her hand up and down the redhead's bicep in an effort to warm her up. This only made Cat feel like she was going to have a heart attack, and the aching and throbbing between her legs intensified.
"Are you cold?" Sam asked; her voice almost breaking the spell that was over Cat.
She cleared her throat but her voice still sounded husky from her arousal, "Um…no, actually. Quite the opposite." Cat felt hot all over. Her clothes suddenly felt itchy and uncomfortable, like they were a foreign entity that didn't belong and her skin was on fire and she wanted nothing more than to strip naked in order to feel normal again. Sam gulped at Cat's reply, knowing exactly how she felt. Cat wondered what it would feel like to lay naked with Sam. To have nothing between their bodies. To feel that wonderful skin on skin contact. It made Cat's heart speed up even more if that were possible and she felt like she'd suddenly had 10 cups of coffee all at once.
"Uh, I should probably, uh…get started…for the day, I mean," Sam said, trying to ease the tension but she felt like she had just made it more awkward. She, however, made no move to get up, but tore her eyes away from the redhead in an effort to regain control of her faculties. She felt like every time Cat stared her in the eye, she lost all sense of time and forgot how to breathe.
"I think I'm gonna get started on breakfast," Cat replied, sitting up, just as Sam's stomach rumbled loudly making her giggle. The sexual tension in the room lessened and they were both grateful to Sam's belly with its perfect timing. "I see your tummy is in agreement." Sam grinned at her as the redhead climbed out of bed and headed for the kitchen. Sam laid there for a few minutes trying to get her erratic heartbeat back down to normal and then staggered into the bathroom. She took a deep breath and then splashed some cold water on her face. Sam didn't know how much longer she could go without grabbing Cat and kissing her like there was no tomorrow.
Later, they sat down to whole wheat protein waffles, uncured bacon, and fresh fruit. They ate in silence. Sam still seemed somewhat quiet and depressed from last night and Cat wanted to try to cheer her up.
"Do you have to train today?" Cat asked, hoping Sam had a free day.
"No," Sam mumbled around a bite of bacon. "Today is my rest day because I worked out the past two days."
Cat smiled at this and said, "So, since you don't have to train, I was thinking maybe we could go to the beach. It will be one of our last chances. Once school starts, I may be too busy. And you'll be training more, possibly." Cat held her breath, hoping Sam would agree.
"Sure," Sam said with a grin, "sounds like fun."
"Yay!" Cat cheered excitedly, sounding like her typical self again. "Oh, this will be so much fun! We can build a sand castle and swim with dolphins and catch little baby sea horses!"
"Cat," Sam tried to cut in.
"And pet a unicorn!"
"Cat."
"And visit SpongeBob!"
"Cat!" Sam yelled and Cat finally paused her rambling to look at Sam. But the blonde wasn't angry. She actually chuckled at the redhead. This was why it was hard to stay depressed around Cat. Her childlike naivety and wonder were just too adorable to Sam. And amusing.
Sometimes it felt tiring but for the most part, Sam found it fun to be around the endearing redhead. Occasionally, it seemed strange to the blonde. One minute, Cat would be staring into her eyes with the sincerity, love, and desire of a mature adult and the next, she would be rambling about little baby unicorns. But Sam was used to it. Cat could go from full on crying about something that upset her to giggling non-stop about cookies with mustaches. It probably had something to do with why Cat had to take "special vitamins". Sam had never really asked her about it but assumed Cat had some emotional issues that she dealt with.
Cat grinned back at Sam and batted her eyes, making her eyelashes seem ever longer. Sam gulped as her heart sped up and said, "Maybe we'll just stick to sunbathing and swimming. Without the dolphins."
"But what if we happen to run into one?" Cat asked.
"Well, I wouldn't say 'no' to a swim with Flipper," Sam replied with a grin, making Cat giggle.
"Ooo, we should watch Flipper when we get home!" Cat exclaimed excitedly.
Sam just rolled her eyes and grinned at her, "Sure, kid. Whatever you want."
"Yay!" Cat cheered happily. "And then we can watch The Little Mermaid and Titanic and-"
"Cat, no!" Sam cut in. She shook her head but grinned. Those were two of Cat's favorite movies and they just happened to be aquatic themed. "We just watched The Little Mermaid last week and Titanic is too long. How about you pick a movie and then I pick one?"
"Kay kay," Cat agreed with a grin.
Sam knew that Cat related to Ariel from The Little Mermaid because of her red hair and her amazing singing voice. Cat had admitted that her favorite song from that movie was "Kiss the Girl" and Sam had been nervous while that scene played out. It was like the movie had been giving her a not-so-subtle message. And Cat had even cuddled into her while the song played and batted her eyes at her. Sam had smiled at her and then just turned back to the movie, trying to ignore Cat's obvious hints.
Cat had also mentioned how she related to Rose from Titanic because of her red hair and her desire to break free from a family (and society) that wished to control and repress her. When they watched the movie together not too long ago, she had casually stated how Jack reminded her of Sam a bit with the blond hair and blue eyes and his fun, rebellious nature. His personality wasn't all that similar to Sam's but Cat had noted the similarities and the fact that he was a sweet, sensitive artist, like Sam. The redhead had seen some of Sam's drawings and was impressed by them. Then the sex scene had come on and Sam felt herself go hot all over with Cat, once again, snuggling into her.
They finished their breakfast and then prepared for a day on the beach. After changing and packing everything into Sam's motorcycle, they headed off to the coast. It was partly cloudy but the weather was beautiful. They found a spot not too crowded and Sam parked the motorcycle. They grabbed the tote bag and small cooler they packed, from the storage compartment and then made their way down the sand towards the surf.
After picking a spot, they spread out their large beach towels and Cat began taking off her outer clothes as her swimsuit was on underneath. Sam had a hard time not staring as the redhead revealed a white bikini with little pink hearts. Sam was sure her own eyes were flashing little pink hearts as she stared at Cat's gorgeously tanned body and gulped. She tore her eyes away as she began to remove her own clothes. It was Cat's turn to stare and gulp. The redhead was sure Sam would wear short swim trunks and a corresponding top but the blonde had on a matching two-piece of her own in different descending shades of blue. Cat was glad she was wearing sunglasses because her eyes were bulging wide at Sam's bikini and she quickly shut her mouth after she realized it had been hanging open in awe. She'd never seen the blonde in such a state of undress before. Even when they occasionally changed in front of each other, Sam always wore boxers.
They got settled on their towels and Cat dug through the tote bag for some sunscreen. They each started to apply the lotion to their own bodies in silence. After a few minutes Sam heard Cat call to her, "Um, Sam…would you help cover my back please?"
Sam looked up at Cat from behind her sunglasses and blushed. "Uh, Sure," Sam replied, grabbing the tube of sunscreen from her. Cat turned around and Sam began massaging the lotion into the soft skin of her back. The redhead pulled her hair to the side and let it rest on the front of her shoulder. She wanted to moan out loud but held back as Sam rubbed her. The blonde's hands felt incredible on her skin. And as Sam slowly glided her fingers underneath her shoulder straps, Cat had to bite her lower lip to keep from gasping. She didn't think she could blush any deeper as she felt her heart speed up.
All too soon though, Sam was done and Cat heard the blonde clear her throat, "Uh, you're all set. You think you could do me?"
Oh, god, YES! Cat thought as racy images ran through her head. I could do you all day and all night! But she understood what the blonde meant.
Cat grinned and turned around, "Sure, Sammy." She took the sunscreen from Sam and started applying it to Sam's back. The blonde's heart jumped when she felt the contact. It felt so good to have Cat's fingers gently caressing her all over, almost like a massage. And she fought to keep her breathing steady. But the awkward, yet wonderful, moment came to an end a few short moments later and they both laid down on their towels. They soaked up the sun for a while, relaxing and talking about various things.
The sound of the waves and wind were soothing and Sam had tuned the redhead out as she rambled on about dolphins but caught the tail end of what she was saying.
"-funny how dolphins laugh. Do you think they're ticklish?" Cat asked. "What do you think makes them laugh so much?"
Cat paused for a moment waiting for Sam to reply. Just when she was sure Sam wasn't paying attention or had fallen asleep, the blonde replied, "They probably do their own stand-up comedy. You know, about life under the sea."
Cat laughed deeply at this, picturing a dolphin up on a stage underwater with a microphone, surrounded by an audience of dolphins, fish, and other aquatic life. Sam grinned at Cat's laugh. It was so childlike and innocent. She loved making the redhead laugh. And Cat appreciated that Sam didn't make her feel stupid and would contribute to the conversation even when she talked about strange, silly things.
So many times when she spoke about random things in front of her Hollywood Arts friends, they would either say something rude or cut her off, or just downright ignore her. They would often stare at her as if they couldn't believe they were friends with someone so ditzy. But Sam usually went along with the conversation as if she were interested in what Cat had to say. It made Cat feel good inside. Like Sam cared about what was on her mind and actually listened to her. Sam never made her feel stupid.
Cat's laughter died down and Sam added, "Or maybe they fart a lot," referring to the laughing dolphins. Cat started giggling again picturing a group of dolphins with bad gas and fart bubbles rising to the surface of the ocean and after a few moments, Sam added, "Yeah, it's probably all the farting."
"Oh, Sam," Cat playfully chided around a giggle. Sam chuckled in response to Cat's laughter.
They continued to soak up the sun and chat for a while and then Sam said, "I need to cool off. Feel like taking a dip in the water?"
"Sure!" Cat said enthusiastically.
They took off their sunglasses and then headed into the water. "Oh, it's so cold!" Cat exclaimed as they waded in; the water splashing up to their knees.
"Holy chiz!" Sam agreed when her legs were hit by the chilly ocean water.
They continued to go further out and Sam finally made the decision to go all the way under to get it over with. She dunked her head under the water and then came back up. Cat was still a few feet away, the water still at her waist.
"Just dunk yourself under real quick. It's not so bad once you do that. You get used to the temperature. Like ripping off a Band-Aid super fast," Sam encouraged.
Cat looked at her warily and then did as she instructed. Cat slipped underwater all the way, her head disappearing under the surface and then she quickly came back up. "Oh my god! I'm so cold!" she exclaimed.
"But it's better now, right?" Sam asked her as they went out further until the water was up to their chests.
Cat waited a few seconds and then her shivering died down. "Actually, yeah," she agreed. "It's not bad now."
They were standing on a submerged sandbar so they didn't have to worry about treading water but they kept the water level up to their necks so they wouldn't be too cold. It was only cold when their bodies felt the cool air on their wet skin. The ocean was actually pretty tame that day; the waves calm. And they continued to kick off the sandbank beneath their feet every time a calm wave came at them to keep their heads above water. As they swam, they continued to chat about various things. The topics ranged from Hawaiian pizza to how seahorses mate.
"You know, in seahorses, it's actually the males that get pregnant," Sam said, remembering the interesting fact from some show she'd watched.
"Really? That so cool!" Cat exclaimed.
"Yeah, the female apparently lays her eggs inside the male's pouch and then he carries them around until they're fully formed and are born."
"That's so amazing! I wish people were that magical," Cat said. When Sam looked at her quizzically, she went on, "You know, with how humans are born. I wish things could be different, instead of just the typical way babies are born," Cat said with a glint in her eye.
"What do you mean?" Sam asked curiously.
Cat looked shy at first but then replied, "Like, wouldn't it be awesome if two girls could make a baby together? With their love? That would be the best." This seemed like a topic Cat had thought about quite a bit. "Or two boys," she added. "But, you know, I just thought about girls because I'm a girl and you're-" she cut herself off when she realized what she was about to say. She suddenly felt self-conscious about what Sam would say in reply. Would she think it was stupid? But when she glanced back at the blonde, she saw Sam staring at her with a serious expression. Almost like she was hypnotized.
"Yeah, that would be…really interesting," Sam mumbled staring into Cat's brown orbs, her heart picking up in pace.
The two of them just continued to gaze at each other and blush as they floated on the water. They were inching closer and closer to each other. Sam reached out and brushed Cat's bangs out of her eyes and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. Cat grinned at her and blushed even deeper. Their faces were just inches apart now and Sam's breathing increased as she glanced down to Cat's lips and then back up into her beautiful brown eyes.
"Sam," Cat whispered in want as she stared into the blonde's deep blue eyes. Eyes that seemed even bluer somehow, now that they were in the ocean. She desperately wanted Sam to kiss her. Her heart fluttered and her breath hitched when she noticed Sam leaning her head in towards her face.
But before anything else could happen, a rogue wave suddenly overtook them and they were both forced under the water. Sam quickly pushed her way to the surface and took a deep breath. She looked all around for her friend but started to panic when she didn't see her anywhere.
"CAT!" Sam yelled in fear and her heart jolted in terror. She was just about to plunge underneath the water to search for her when she saw a mat of red hair break through the surface and Cat began sputtering and coughing as soon as her head was above the water. Sam sighed in relief and grabbed her by the shoulders to steady her and keep her afloat. "Cat, are you alright?!" Sam asked in concern.
Cat brushed her wet hair out of her face and took a deep breath, "Yeah…I'm okay. That was kinda scary, wasn't it?" She grabbed tightly onto Sam's arms in an attempt to stay above the waves.
"It sure was, kid," Sam replied, brushing Cat's hair out with her fingers, as it had gotten tangled from the wave, "you even scared me." Cat saw the look of concern and fear in Sam's eyes and she was suddenly overcome with emotion.
"Aww, Sammy," Cat said in sympathy when she realized Sam was scared for her, not scared of the wave itself. And Cat smiled at her. She always felt her stomach do loops whenever Sam showed concern for her safety. The blonde was currently smiling back at her and tucking her hair behind her ears.
"Come on, Valentine. Let's take a break," Sam said, "I don't need you drowning on me. And it's time for lunch anyway."
Cat's heart fluttered at Sam's worry over her and the use of her last name, and they started to make their way to the shoreline. Cat clutched Sam's hand tightly the whole way back and her heart melted a bit when she realized Sam was holding hers just as securely, ensuring that the redhead wouldn't lose her balance if another rough wave plowed through them.
Once they made it back to their spot in the sand, they pulled out their extra towels from their bag to dry off with. Sam wrapped a towel around Cat and affectionately rubbed her hands up and down the redhead's arms in an effort to warm her. Cat smiled shyly at Sam and the blonde smiled back and then grabbed her own towel to use on herself. They settled down on their beach towels and then Sam started pulling out the lunch and bottles of water Cat had packed from the small cooler they had brought. As they ate the delicious meal that consisted of sandwiches, fruit salad, and mixed nuts, they chatted about Cat starting school soon and which courses she was excited about. Occasionally, Cat would get distracted by something on the beach, like a seagull and would stop and say, "Ooo, Sam look at that cute little seagull!"
Sam smiled at the redhead. The way she was so excited about certain things made her content. Sam couldn't remember the last time she, herself, was that excited about something so mundane. They finished eating and as they were packing up their lunch containers, Cat spotted a parasailor out in the water. "Oh, that looks like so much fun! Can we do that?!" she exclaimed excitedly.
"Hmm," Sam pondered, "I think it's pretty expensive." Cat looked disappointed but seemed to understand. "But don't worry," Sam added, "once I start winning tons of fights, we'll be rolling in dough and I'll take you parasailing and jet skiing, snorkeling and regular sailing every weekend if you want."
A look of interest initially crossed Cat's features but then she quickly looked sad, thinking about Sam fighting, and her worry came back.
Sam caught the somber look on Cat's face and said, "Aw, kid. I told you there's nothing to worry about. No one can take down ol' Sam Puckett." Cat looked at her confused.
"You changed your last name for the fight?" Cat asked. "Why'd you do that? I like Puckell."
Sam closed her eyes and slapped her hand over her forehead in a frustrated facepalm, making Cat giggle. Sam looked up at her. "What's so funny?" Sam asked.
"You get so upset when I say your last name wrong," Cat grinned at her.
At Sam's stunned look, Cat giggled even harder. "You do it on purpose?" the blonde asked incredulously.
"Of course," Cat replied around a giggle, "I know it's Puckett. I just like to hear you correct me every time I call you Puckell. It's cute. And funny. I mean, the first few times, I was actually confused on what your last name really was but after a while, I kept doing it just to mess with you."
Sam chuckled at her in surprise. "I gotta give you more credit, Valentine. That's a good one." Cat smiled wider at her. Sam secretly always thought it was cute whenever Cat 'mistakenly' called her "Puckell" and now that she knew the redhead did it deliberately, she thought it was even cuter and funnier. Somehow the idea of Cat intentionally trying to annoy her in a good-natured way made Sam admire her even more.
They continued to chat for a while, letting their lunch digest, and after about an hour of conversing, laughing, and relaxing, Cat asked Sam if she would like to go for a walk on the beach. Sam agreed, so they stood and began their leisurely stroll. The saltwater splashed their bare feet as they walked in the surf and it felt refreshing. Cat smiled happily as she listened to Sam talk about their favorite TV shows and various meats. It was nice to just be with Sam and get to enjoy a whole day with her, with no distractions. No kids to babysit and no neighbors barging in unannounced. They walked for quite a ways and then decided to turn around and head back to their spot. As they strolled, Cat shyly took Sam's hand, hoping the blonde wouldn't flinch away from her like she sometimes did.
Sam looked over to Cat and then, to the redhead's surprise, grinned at her. Then the blonde looked back straight in front of her as they walked on. Cat's heart fluttered when she felt Sam's thumb caress the back of her hand. This was, not only a public place, but also one considered to be somewhat romantic and Sam was willingly holding her hand. Cat smiled so wide her cheeks hurt. The redhead knew that it wouldn't be a good idea to come on to Sam too strongly while she was still in mourning over the loss of Carly but if Sam were making the advances, she felt like it would be alright. She didn't want to take advantage of Sam's grief but, earlier while they were swimming, it looked like Sam had been leaning in to kiss her before that wave knocked them over.
Cat figured that hand-holding, hugs, and kisses on the cheek were okay because she had done that before she found out about Carly. And Sam seemed alright with all of these forms of contact. The redhead also didn't want to completely cut off all forms of physical affections because, one, she knew Sam might take this as a sign that something was wrong, two, she knew Sam needed some form of comfort, and three, Cat really couldn't not show Sam some form of affection. She loved her too much to just go cold with it. And Cat didn't think she could go through an entire day without lovingly touching Sam in some way, much less go the next several weeks or months without doing it. She craved that contact from Sam too much. She would probably go crazy not being able to touch her.
"So, uh…I meant to ask," Cat started hesitantly and Sam looked over to her. "Where did you go last night?"
Sam chuckled nervously, "Well, I uh…was kinda frustrated and angry and I didn't have my hitting tree, so I…kinda pulled up all the parking meters along Park Avenue." Cat looked shocked at this as Sam went on. "I thought about going back to Punchy's but it was too late for that."
"Oh, well, I'm glad you weren't doing anything too destructive," Cat replied. She had been worried what Sam had gotten up to and she was relieved that Sam hadn't gone out and hurt anyone, including herself. Or done anything else that could have devastated them both, like calling Jenna and getting out her pent-up frustrations in other ways. Not that Sam was known to do things like that. She'd never gone out and had random one-night stands. Sam had never even dated anyone the whole time she'd been living with the redhead.
But Cat had been worried that she'd kissed Sam, turned her on, and then made her leave, off into the night all hot and bothered and frustrated. And Jenna seemed like the type of girl who was sure to offer Sam what she wanted if the blonde showed any interest at all. Sam was so gorgeous and confident, she could get anyone into her bed if she wanted to. But luckily for Cat, Sam didn't seem interested. The redhead just hoped that she could persuade the blonde into being interested in her.
"I'm sorry, by the way," Sam added, "for making you worry and…for leaving like that."
"It's okay, Sammy. It was pretty much my fault anyway," Cat replied understandingly.
"I wasn't mad at you," Sam quickly added. "I was just mad about…stuff."
"I know," Cat replied sympathetically and reached over with her free hand and caressed Sam's arm.
Cat continued to think about Sam as they strolled leisurely down the beach. She was the whole package to Cat. Even Sam's tough, rude, and aggressive exterior was appealing to her. Sam had gotten angry with Cat multiple times over the past several months but she never hurt her in anyway, whether physically or mentally. Sam didn't play games or intentionally try to hurt her. Sam was pretty straight forward. And because Cat wasn't afraid of the blonde, Sam's aggressive nature just made Cat feel even more safe, because she knew Sam would do anything to protect her if there was ever a threat. Sam had a natural instinct to protect what was hers. And it was not only comforting to Cat, but also a major turn on.
Cat felt safe whenever she was with Sam and that was a big deal to the redhead, more so than the average person. She'd had abandonment issues that stemmed from her parents leaving her. And she had been terrified and sad when her Nona announced that she was moving to Elderly Acres Retirement Home. Luckily for Cat, Sam had moved in that same day. She remembered shouting, "This is the best day ever!" when Sam decided to be her roommate. And it was for Cat. Having Sam from iCarly, her celebrity crush, move in with her was like a fairy tale. And for weeks after the blonde had moved in, Cat found herself second guessing her sanity. Every so often when Sam was out, Cat had convinced herself she'd imagined the whole thing.
But then she would hear Sam's motorcycle approaching their home or she would step into their shared bedroom and see all of Sam's boyish things on her side of the room, and relief would rush in at the knowledge that Sam existed. She was real, alive, and her best friend. Once, Cat had even had a nightmare that she'd woken up and found the entire apartment exactly how it looked back when Nona was still living with her but she was alone. No Nona. No Sam. It was devastating. She was heartbroken and scared. But she'd woken from that horrible dream and then heard the comforting sounds of Sam's light snores on the other side of the bedroom and she breathed a sigh of relief. Seconds later, she would find herself sneaking into Sam's bed, wrapping her arms around her; seeking out the one person who always made her feel safe and protected.
As they strolled down the beach, hand in hand, Cat squeezed Sam's hand tighter and sighed contentedly with a smile on her face. She was so happy and excited to have Sam in her life. She didn't know what she'd do if Sam ever left her. She just hoped she never had to find out. The previous night had nearly destroyed her when Sam left, not knowing if she would return. But hearing Sam tell her she hadn't intended to stay gone when they'd returned home, had put her at ease.
They soon made it back to their beach towels and decided it was time to head home. They pulled on their regular clothes over their swimsuits and then packed up all their belongings and made their way towards Sam's motorcycle. On the ride home, Sam felt content. It had been a wonderful day. Sam felt, dare she say it, happy. Happier than she'd felt in a long time and she wondered if she should feel guilty for feeling so happy. She hadn't been constantly depressed over the past several months of course. Grief was strange, often only rearing its ugly head during the most unfortunate times. Cat had been a constant source of happiness and comfort for her and the redhead didn't even know it.
Sam had good days and bad days. And whenever her sadness got too overwhelming, she would either fall back on her usual destructive ways to deal or just let Cat take over that day and follow her lead, no matter how unusual and bubbly the redhead acted. It was a nice distraction. Whether Cat's hand was unexpectedly glued to Sam's ankle for a couple days or they were helping Dice find an identical dog to his so they could trick the "Dog Dancers", life with the redhead was unpredictable and often adventurous.
Sam thought back to that day when Cat's hand was glued to her ankle at the texting competition and grinned. Sam had been annoyed, having to do everything literally attached to the redhead. But Cat seemed excited by it. Figuring out how to use the bathroom, and sleeping, were particularly tricky but they got through it by helping each other out. It was an interesting lesson that taught them how to compromise and helped both of them understand each other better.
Cat smiled as she rested her cheek on Sam's back and tightened her hold on the blonde. The day had been perfect to the redhead and she sighed happily. She was grateful that Sam seemed to be having a good day as well. She hated to see her sad or upset. Now that the blonde had come clean to her about her past with Carly, some of Sam's behavior over the past several months had started to make sense. Sam often seemed grumpy, upset, or sad for no reason. Now Cat understood. But most days, Sam just seemed laid back and just went with the flow, even when the redhead was being overly strange and upbeat. Cat didn't know it, but her constant optimism was a source of strength for Sam.
When they got home, they showered; Cat using the bathroom connected to their bedroom and Sam using the bathroom down the hall; the one used by guests. It was right next to the small bedroom they used for kids to nap in when they babysat. As she showered, Sam nearly snorted out a laugh remembering the night she "bed-jacked" Cat before they'd decided to share the big bedroom. Sam had only been living with Cat for few weeks and the blonde had been sleeping on the horribly uncomfortable couch she'd taken from the set of That's a Drag. More like, failing to sleep on it. Their neighbor's big, dumb dog, Rover, had broken into their apartment again at 3am and Sam had had enough.
She'd dumped Cat out of her bed and then tricked her way into sleeping in the comfy queen-sized bed. After Cat had angrily left the bedroom, she stuck her head back in the doorway and said, "You trickered me, right?"
Sam had nodded while she lay on the comfy bed with her arms propped behind her head and said, "I did."
"It won't be the last time," Cat acknowledged and then turned out the light and left, closing the door behind her.
"No, it won't," Sam had said satisfied that she had gained the whole bed to herself for the night. However, only ten minutes later, Cat had snuck back into the bedroom and crawled in next to Sam, spooning her from behind. Sam had been on the verge of falling asleep when Cat had crawled into the bed and she didn't feel like putting up a fight so she let the redhead stay. It had become a common thing for Cat to come and lay next to Sam (or on top of Sam) even while she was sleeping on the couch. Sam had even confused the neighbor's dog for Cat after the smelly canine had hopped onto the couch and laid down on top of her head. That's how common an occurrence it was for Cat to sneak into Sam's "bed" even before she had a bed.
It never even occurred to the two roommates for one of them to take the smaller bedroom. They'd just decided to share the big bedroom. But if Sam were being honest with herself, she knew it was because neither of them wanted to be alone at night. Sam had been content to sharing a room with the redhead, not necessarily her bed. But as time went on, she didn't mind so much anymore when she felt Cat cuddle up next to her. With the amount of time Cat spent in Sam's bed, they should have just kept the queen sized one in the big bedroom for them to share.
After they'd finished showering and dressing in fresh clothes, they sat down to watch the movie, Flipper, as Cat had suggested earlier.
As the movie went on, Cat asked, "Isn't that the guy who played one of those hobbits with the ring in those Middle Earth movies?"
"Oh, yeah," Sam said, recognizing the actor. "Yeah, that's him. He looks younger. This was a few years before those movies."
Cat cuddled into Sam as they watched and Sam casually took her hand. Cat smiled happily and leaned her head on Sam's shoulder. The movie went on and Cat would laugh every time the dolphin laughed or made a happy squeak sound. Sam grinned at her. She's so freaking adorable, the blonde thought. Cat seemed even more captivated during the scenes where Elijah Wood's character got to swim with Flipper. Then the scary scene with the hammerhead shark happened and Cat was gripping Sam's arm tightly.
After the movie ended, they decided to start on dinner. In keeping with their aquatic theme for the day, they made salmon. Sam decided to help Cat cook and they chatted and laughed. The blonde began snapping the ends off a pile of fresh green beans as the redhead started to put some rice on to boil. Sam was grateful to Cat for her newfound cooking abilities and her readiness to help the blonde with her new regimen. About 45 minutes later, they sat down to grilled salmon, rice pilaf, and green beans.
"Oh, my god, Cat! This is amazing!" Sam gushed over the delicious food as she relished a bite of savory salmon.
Cat grinned and blushed, "Well, I had some help." Sam looked up at her and smiled.
They ate and discussed their fun filled day, enjoying each other's company. Cat was ecstatic. The whole day had felt like a date to her. And Sam had seemed happy too, which she was grateful for as well. For dessert, they had rice cakes with Nutella, sliced bananas, and honey. It was the closest thing to a sweet treat that Sam could have. They had looked up what most MMA fighters could eat and the main thing they found was to just keep a balanced diet, while avoiding fried foods, things with too much sodium or sugar and foods that were overly processed with preservatives. The type of diet depended on the athlete, as it differed from fighter to fighter.
They started cleaning the dishes together but after a few minutes, Cat excused herself to go to the bathroom. After she finished up and was on her way through their bedroom, she heard Sam's phone ringing. It was just laying there on the blonde's bed and Cat could easily see that it was that same Seattle number that Sam was always avoiding. She hesitated. She didn't want to pry but she had been worried about Sam lately with her depression and grief. She decided to answer it before it could go to voicemail.
"Hello?" Cat answered.
"Sam, before you hang up…wait, you don't sound like Sam," the voice on the other end of the line said. "Who is this? Where's Sam? Is she alright?!" The voice was male and clearly sounded worried.
"I'm Cat Valentine. I'm Sam's friend and roommate," Cat introduced herself.
"Roommate?" the voice asked. "Sam never mentioned a roommate. I didn't think she would even stay put anywhere long enough to have a roommate."
"Who is this?" Cat asked curiously.
"My name is Freddie Benson," he answered. "I'm friends with Sam."
"Oh, yeah! Freddie from iCarly!" Cat said excitedly as she realized who he was.
"Uh, yeah that's me," Freddie replied. "Why are you answering Sam's phone? Is everything alright?"
"Yeah, we're fine. I just happened to see that her phone was ringing. Sam's in the other room."
"How long have you been living with Sam? And where are you?"
"Well, I'm kind of confused why she never told you any of this if you're such good friends, but I've been living with Sam for about 10 months now. And we're in L.A."
"Ten months?!" Freddie said in surprise. "LA?!"
"Yeah, and why is Sam always angry about your calls?" Cat asked confused. "Normally, I like getting calls from my friends."
"I can't believe Sam has been in LA almost this whole time!" Freddie said sounding shocked and a bit irritated. "She never tells us anything. Spencer and I have been trying to get in touch with her but she usually never answers her phone. Well, it's mostly just me calling her. Spencer tried a few times right after she left. Even Sam's mom has tried to reach out to her."
"Why? If Sam wanted to leave, that's her business," Cat replied.
"I don't think you understand," Freddie explained. "Sam left Seattle because Carly died in a plane crash."
"I know. Sam told me."
"Did she also tell you they were together as a couple? And that they were engaged to be married?"
"Yes," Cat replied. "Only very recently though."
"Well, I'm guessing she didn't tell you about the letter she left us that nearly devastated us all."
"No. What letter?" Cat asked, sounding concerned but interested.
"Listen to me very carefully," Freddie said with worry in his tone, "Sam's not well."
"What do you mean, not well? Is she sick with something? She seems healthy to me," Cat said but was then worried that Sam was possibly dying of some illness that she had been keeping a secret.
"No," Freddie answered, "please just listen. I'm gonna need your help."
"Okay?" Cat said sounding unsure.
The next words Cat heard Freddie say almost made her heart stop.
"Sam is planning to kill herself!"
AN: Send me some love in the form of a review. :) Pretty please! Also, I'm working on three other stories so I'm not sure when I'll get the next chapter posted. But I'm still working on it. I've kind of neglected my other stories while working on this one. If you're interested in Carly/Sam fics, please check out my other stories if you haven't already.