I was starting to regret agreeing to Thor's God Lessons. This morning he dragged me to a meeting of the Convocation of Skyfathers, a meeting of the Grand Pooh-Bahs of the various Tribes of Gods.

I was made to formally introduce myself as the Skymistess of a New Pantheon and then it was just two hours of the divine equivalent of old men arguing about stuff that doesn't matter and getting nothing done. Luckily by what I assume was coincidence, I ended up sitting right between Thor and Venus, who seemed to be covering for me when my mind wandered, but... I have never been more bored in my life.

Also, I don't know who this Crom is, but if I ever meet him I'm going to kill him on principle. He's apprently been blowing off these meetings for over ten thousand years and yet Atum-Ra and the Angel whose name I can neither spell nor pronounce who was representing the interests of the forces of Heaven still both took offense at his absence and spent thirty minutes bitching about it.

Afterward, Thor informed me that regular meetings were rare and that I wouldn't be expected to attend all of them unless something actually important was being discussed, which would have been nice to know ahead of time. Also, there was apprently a similar Council of Earth Mothers but they didn't meet anywhere near as often nor were they as formal, so Kelda gets off better on this one.

I really wish I'd known about this ahead of time regardless, as Thor had come to take me just as I was putting the brisket in the smoker. I was having the Champions over today to properly talk to Miles and clear the air and the meeting of all-powerful dingbats had really cut into my prep time.

I was just finishing up a barbecue sauce when I felt a presence behind me and reflexively struck behind myself with my left fist, making contact with someone with my knuckles.

"Gahh," came an as-of-now annoyingly familiar voice.

"Loki, how did you get into my house?" I asked without turning.

"You forgot to lock the front door," he replied.

"What do you want now?" I asked, "I'm kind of busy."

"Well, seeing as how I... Sill. Can't... Lie!" Loki declared somewhat hysterically, "I decided to do some more digging into your little Carnage Problem and I... May have both under-estimated his threat. And accidentally sort of screwed you over..."

I slowly turned to face the storyteller still sitting on my floor. "Explain?"

"So... The thing is, before it disappeared across the multi-verse, the Carnage symbiote sort of... went on a rampage across the Nine realms. Stole the power of a couple of Spider-Man's enemies, slaughtered his way across Svartalfheimto steal a Hellhound, invaded the realm of my daughter to steal something from the soul of Malekith the Accursed, and finally visited the same forge where my brother's hammer was forged to create a weapon of Uru, dark elven magic, and the Living Abyss itself. I won't bore you with the details," the god said as he finally pulled himself up, "but your enemy is a well and proper God-Butcer, wildering and merged with an enchanted weapon whose power rivals that of All-Black itself, at the height of its power."

Codex memories came forth unbidden, of an ancient blade that could cleave the dawn from the night, shatter planets, bestow onto its host a form of immortality and the strength to withstand the heat and gravity of stars and the crushing pressure of a black hole. And, most relevant to me, the anti-divine properties of an ordinary symbiote cranked up to 11 and focused to deadly precision. It was like I was a vampire and Carnage had a wooden stake tipped with blessed silver and saturated with garlic extract and a little hole leading from the tip to a super-powered sunlamp in the very back of the stake.

Then I thought back to my confrontation with Kassady in the heart of the hive mind.

If you want to beat us, it's not enough to be strong, kiddo. You're gonna have to be a God.

Then I'll just have to become a God then, won't I?

"...That son of a bitch played me like a god-damned fiddle."

"Now don't feel bad," Loki reassured, "the thing about sociopathic serial killers is that despite being of below average intelligence, on average, they tend to e decent enough at manipulating people and you're just a stupid teenager who wasn't in a good headspace."

I blinked. "You know I could probably kill you in a straight-up fight, right?"

"Yeah, but you won't," Loki said coldly. "Even at your worst you only did what you could justify to yourself. Can you truly say that you could live with yourself if you smote me for a petty insult after what you did to Blake?"

I glared at him. "You're an asshole."

"Guilty as charged," he agreed with a grin. "Now the question is... What do you want to do about this?"

"Try not to die long enough for whatever the Avengers are working on to kick off, I guess."

Loki facepalmed. "I continue to be baffled by how you can... No, I mean... Do I have to do everything for you?" My unamused expression forced him to continue. "We can't de-god you, only a Skyfather can do that and, well, you're the Skymistress of your pantheons. But... We can make you a stronger god."

I blinked. "How will that help, exactly." I can't say I wasn't tempted but... Just seeking power for the sake of seeking power, that was a problematic behavior, right? Woulnd't... Wouldn't it just make me feel more empty inside? Or was I overthinking this?

"People like to think that weaknesses scale," Loki continued, "that they can always kill the vampire with a crucifix and a bulb of garlic... But it doesn't work like that. While, in some cases, more power means more weakness, there's always a bare minimum threshold here one starts to build resistance... did you ever play Pokemon games as a kid?" Loki asked suddenly. I shook my head. "Well, they've got this whole complicated elemental system where some types take more or less damage than others from other types... But if your little monster is significantly higher level than the other guy's then even if you're taking times eight damage you're still not gonna take that much, and, well... You're already as vulnerable to anti-divine effects as you're gonna get."

"So if I get to be stronger than Carnage by enough..."

"Then it won't really matter that he's got an anti-god weapon," Loki concluded. "Now, have you figured out what it is you're the God of yet? I must admit given your... Unique circumstances, it's a bit hard to place you."

I shrugged. "No clue."

Loki grunted. "Okay, so training the mystical and conceptual abilities tied to your authorities are a no-go then, so Plan B would be... cultivating the Cosmic power of a Skyfather."

"Thor hasn't exactly gotten to that part in my god lessons," I quipped. "Mind giving me a crash course?"

"The cosmic power of a Skyfather is cultivated as the power of the pantheon is cultivated," Loki explained, "That is to say, the more gods in the pantheon and the stronger the gods in the pantheon, the faster it grows. Even now, as you and young Kelda grow into your power and she practices her abilities, the mantle you bear grows in power. Additionally, the health and potency of the realm of the pantheon play a factor. Part of what makes the heads of the Kings of the Asgardians, Olympians, and Daevas so powerful is the sheer number of gods and even minor divinities within those tribes and the relative vastness of their realms. Even a random Asgardian peasant, as far from a tue god as you can get without being mortal, carries a small ember of the Odinforce which is cultivated throughout their lives, and strictly speaking, Asgard and the realms that share its physical plane are a planet in their own right."

"I'm guessing that the manner of my apotheosis gave me one hell of a headstart when it came to that?" I asked. I'm pretty sure I had a hell of a lot more of that power than I would if I was dependent solely on that source of power.

"Exactly," Loki replied. "So... Until you figure out what you're the God of, your best bet for getting stronger in a hurry is going to be recruiting more people for your pantheon, and if I were you I'd focus on quality over quantity."

"Oh?"

"Gods are beings of power and story," Loki lectured. as if I didn't already know that. "If you tried ascending some random mortal that no one's ever heard of, you'd be lucky to get a minor divinity on par with a random Asgardian mud farmer. You'd need to uplift thousands to get noticeable results. Instead, look for people who are already powerful or who have already got some appreciable stories under their belts. Kelda came out the way she did because of the magic in her blood and the feat of forging a god," Loki declared, "so if you want full-fledged gods with their own authorities to buff up your pantheon..."

"I need to find heroes," I finished.

"Or villains," Loki agreed. "Or anyone else with great power and great deeds."

"Assuming I'm willing to do that," I replied, "is there anything in particular I should look out for in regard to recruits?"

"Certain concepts and archetypes hold more conceptual power than others," Loki answered with a wave of his hand, and several phantasmal symbols appeared before him. a hammer and anvil, for example, "you're already off to a good start with my descendant, the mysteries and magic of turning crude earth into mighty metal have all sorts of symbolic connection and associations, not to mention her lesser ties the elements... However" A fist smashing a collum, "a god of strength would, by their very nature, bring more strength to the pantheon than a similarly powerful god of some other concept." The next symbol was a leaf on the vine. "a god or goddess of plantlife, meanwhile... Well, the green things of the earth are symbolic of life itself and life is power." Next came an ornate mirror and an open book. "Someone like me, a trickster, a storyteller, or both? Gods are narrative, child," Loki repeated for the umpteenth time, "so a god of narrative is powerful indeed." A crude drawing of the sun, like any child might make when learning with crayons. "The sun is of course the ultimate source of all light and life, and almost all warmth and power, on this green earth." A pair of crossed swords. "War Gods are a classic for a reason." A pentacle. "Magic of course is the lifeblood of all gods, and finally..." A Skull. "Those like us, deary, are a minority. For most of existence, you only get one go around and one and so Death itself holds a great deal of power. If you see anyone who would be a good fit for one of these roles, prioritize them."

"Got it."

The next thing you could do... Is try to climb the divine ranks, so to speak."

"Huh?"

"There are gods and then there are Gods, Maria," Loki continued, "a good chunk of the power that was refined to fuel your ascension into the head of a pantheon came from imitations of my Brother and his hammer, which means right now you're at the same tier as he is: Above Lady Sif and I, but blow the Elder Gods. In addition to you and the blonde meathead, this position of occupied by the Greek Titans, including your acquaintance Lady Styx, and the Upper echelons of the Indian Daevas. Anyone you apotheosize, my descendant included, will also be here since their ascensions will be based on your own."

"So what's the difference?"

"An ordinary god," Loki replied, "will be able to lift between ten and fifty tons depending on the tribe and in some cases sex, unless they have a divine domain that would make them stronger, such as strength or athleticism. Someone who is in between the ranks of an ordinary god and an Elder God, such as my half-Elder brother or the other children of Gaea, would have strength measured in the hundreds of tons as well as the potential to wield vast powers over energy regardless of domain."

"Above them are the Elder Gods, of course, who are forces of nature in their own right," Loki continued, "and above them are potent cosmic entities representing higher and higher still concepts... Which comes back to you..."

I didn't need Loki to explain it to me, it clicked on its own. "I'm still a symbiote-hybrid beneath my divinity. And so is Kelda, after I ascended her. We're Gods, but also God-Slayers. If we kill a god, we claim their power for our own... If I killed an Elder God... I'd become an Elder God."

"Of if you killed say, Eternity, you'd become the cosmic embodiment of time and the universe but... People who try to usurp cosmic principles... Well, let's just say it tends to go poorly and leave it at that," Loki replied with a grimace. "so let's focus on Elder God for now, that should give you plenty of power. Thor and I ran into an Elder God who called himself the Loki of the Outlands in our youth and as much as I hate to admit it in terms of illusions and trickery he still has me solidly whipped. We're talking orders of magnitude beyond even the Titan tier of power"

I thought it over. I was tempted. Oh God was I tempted, but... "It doesn't feel right to just go up and kill someone for power..."

"Trust me, Maria, a lot of Elder Gods are dicks," Loki dismissed, "and the world would be better off without them. Most of the elder Gods of Earth murdered their siblings for shits and giggles or to gain power and even the good ones can be cold. Just ask the dinosaurs," Loki deadpanned... "Actually, that gives me an idea... How do you feel about snakes?"

"What now?"

"Never mind," Loki deflected, "I'll need to do a bit of research. before anything comes of that... I think your sauce is done."

I turned back to my stove and saw the pot was boiling. "So it is," I observed as I killed the heat and stirred it as it cooled.

"Do I detect a hint of cinnamon?" Loki asked.

More than a hint. "It adds a bit of warmth and earthiness to almost any recipe and plays well with both the molasses flavor of the brown sugar and the heat of the cayenne pepper," I explained. "Now if we're done I'm expecting company in about an hour."