Sorry for slow upload this week, my birthday was Sunday and then I got acrylics and they are so hard to write with haha

Hope this extra long chapter makes up for it. There is a lot going on in this chapter so be warned.

Side note my mac hates uploading chapter longer that 2,000 words, does anyone else do that?

Much love

Nessa

xoxo

Chapter 11

As the weeks went on Harley could start to feel the lines between good and bad slipping from her grasp. She was a very honest person, never would she lie or deliberately do something that could get her into trouble but she had been finding lately that it was easier to not feel about having evil thoughts towards someone.

On Saturday afternoon Harleen decided she wanted to go and look at some new clothes at the shopping center, she wanted something that her puddin' would appreciate. She wanted for J to not be able to take his eyes off of her. She walked around for what felt like hours looking for the perfect clothes and she had an armful of stuff she wanted, oh how happy J would be to see her in these tight shirts and short skirts.

She tried every item of clothing on precisely, making sure it looked good from all angles and that there was no hidden secrets in the garments that J would pick out, he was good at finding flaws. Once she was happy that all the clothes were joker approved and that she would kill him with seduction she bounced happily up to the counter, ready to make her purchase. Whilst she was waiting for the cashier to ring her up she caught sight of a beautiful pair of sunglasses with a beautiful gold rimming and intricately designed arms. They were the kind of sunglasses she could imagine supermodels wearing in the Bahamas. She picked them and flipped them over noticing all the zeros on the price tag and putting them back down, as if they burnt her hand.

The lady at the counter beamed at her as she took her new clothes and thanked her for shopping with them. Harley gave her a small smile and waltzed from the shop, in search of something sugary and cold. She made her way to her favourite shake shack and hummed whilst they created her masterpiece of an order, smiling as the teenage boy swirled more than enough cream on top and blushed as he gave it to her. She said her thank you and winked at him, sashaying away. Her outfits had changed recently; she went from dressing in jeans and t-shirts to tight anything and tops that showed way more than they should. Today she had on tight leather trousers and a red tight crop top, a pair of red wedges to match that made her legs look miles long. She was in it to kill.

Harley sat down to enjoy her sweet drink and the pastry she had purchased with it when something shimmery attached to her bag caught her attention. Her blood ran cold as she saw the beautifully expensive sunglasses from earlier had managed to entwine themselves in her bag. She should take them back… but on the other hand she really did like them. She sighed and checked around her before taking the label off of them and tucking them into her bag, her heart pounding in her chest. This wasn't Harley at all, she never stole even if it was an accident, she should take them straight back but they were already in her grasp now. She may as well enjoy them.

She got up quickly, taking the last bite of her pastry and chugging the rest of her shake before quickly rushing out of the shopping center, again checking that no one had seen her.

…

Later than evening Harley couldn't help the feeling of discomfort she felt for the glasses, although she didn't want to give them back, the feeling of joy and the thrill that stealing them gave her was almost insane. She had to keep reminding herself that she didn't intentionally steal them; it had just been a bit of happy accident and that the shop clerk clearly didn't miss them much or the security guards would have been looking for them. Nonetheless Harley knew she wouldn't be wearing them for a while.

She took a while to decide on her outfit the next day she wanted to look good for her session with J. he had made a comment in yesterdays session about her dressing more like a mother than a young woman so she had made the vow to make sure that he liked what he saw. She still wasn't sure why but she like to think it was because she knew he would open up to her more if were to listen to him. Really she knew it was just because she wanted him to notice her.

Harley decided on a tight white skirt that was just short of her knees and a green shirt, the same colour as her clown's hair. She smiled at her reflection and decided to match it with a pair of white heels she knew her legs would look amazing in. She carefully curled her hair into perfect ringlets and applied a light layer of make up, smoothing her skin and amplifying her long black lashes. She applied a coat of red to her smile and beamed at the image in her mirror. The green of her top was perfect, it would make sure he knew this was all for him and she was pleased that he would be happy. No more mother Harleen for Mr. J.

She sashayed into Arkham three hours late, not wanting to listen to the babble of those who were not really insane and having only interest in what Mr. J had to say. Dr. Arkham said nothing as he saw her walk into her office, putting it down to the fact that Harley had been through a lot recently and that this was her way of dealing with it. He was going to take her other cases away anyway so that she focus all her time on getting that god forsaken clown back to health.

Chewing her gum absently, Harley made her way down to the treatment room, her hells clicking on the floor. The joker had been deemed safe enough for her not to have her sessions in the white room of insanity and they were allowed to meet in a more stimulating environment. She also managed to persuade Arkham to let J be free during their sessions, no straightjacket or cuffs in sight. She still had to wear a little panic button around her neck, which protected her if he went crazy on her again but she knew better than to use it. He would kill her if she showed fear.

"Hey Mr. J, how you feeling today?" Harley sang as she sat down in her chair, making sure he got a good look at her cleavage.

"Mmm, all the better for seeing you pumpkin. You look might fine my little jester." His eyes burned hers in intensity and she felt herself warm under his stare.

She beamed at his compliment and sat up straighter, her confidence inflating, "thanks puddin', so I thought we could do something a little more fun today… tell me about the first time you ever did something bad?" she grinned and lent on her hands as they leaned on the table, not taking her eyes off of the god in front of her.

"Hmm, I did lots of bad things growing up Harls, but the first really bad thing I did… I killed my neighbors rabbit." He looked pleased, like he was telling her his results in a test he had done well in.

"Y'know J they say that pyscho's always show their insanity at a young age… by playing with dead animals." She mused and looked at her clown as he tipped his head back howled at the ceiling, finding her comment as amusing as if she had just told him the funniest joke ever. His movement mesmerized her; his body flowed into a laugh so perfectly, as if the action was made for him.

"I ain't no pyscho angel face, I'm the real deal. More insane than any of those crazies on death row, more insane than anyone this asylum has to offer, other than you of course." He grinned and she knew that it was a compliment but it struck way to close to home.

"I'm not crazy J." she whispered, barely able to speak with the intensity of his gaze.

"Oh you are Harls, and I can't wait to show you how to work it to your advantage, I can see it in your eyes baby, there's something different in them today. Tell daddy what you did wrong, I know you did something." He was hypnotizing, his baby blues bore into hers and she couldn't help but spill her guts.

"I stole something yesterday, not on purpose but I didn't give 'em back. I just left with them and now they're sat in my room at home, glaring at Me." she stated, her voice dreamlike and unrecognizable to her.

"Oh pumpkin that is a good start, you'll be freed sooner than I thought. I made good progress with you haven't I?" he waited for her to respond, she nodded, knowing that's the answer he wanted. "We can have it all Harley Quinn, the whole of Gotham will kneel at our feet, and your name will strike fear into those that hear it. The bat will never be able to catch us alive. We'll be the perfect lovers and partners, partners in crime. What'd ya say pumpkin? You want to be daddy's little monster?" he leaned in closer, his smell intoxicating her and his presence alone disabling her brain. Her head nodded without command and she was scared, scared of what she could become under his instruction. But he made her feel so much more alive than anyone else ever had, she wanted it, she wanted all of it if it meant that she could be with him. And that terrified her. His lips touched hers in a healing kiss, her scattered mind easing and her heart fluttering, he was softer on her today than usual, the kiss always signified the end of their session. The experience was both amazing and sad; she wouldn't see those wonderful eyes until the next day.

"I will free you Harley Quinn, and then we will have some fun." He grinned and was then escorted from the room, the guards looking at Harley too make sure she was okay, no idea of what had happened moments before they had walked in.

…

J's words were swirling through Harley's head all evening; did he really want all that for them? Did he really want Harley to be with him? She smiled to herself despite knowing that this was crazy, she was playing a dangerous game with the joker and she wasn't sure she was ready for the consequences if it all went bad. She need some advice and as much as she hated to admit it, the only person that could help her was Ivy.

She picked up the piece of paper with Pam's name on it and sighed as she dialed the number, knowing she was going to regret this. "Hello, Pam here." She heard the female voice purr on the other end.

"Jesus Ivy, do you always answer like that or are ya expecting someone?" Harley laughed.

"Harley? You finally called! Are you okay?" Pam may be a villain but she had one hell of an intuition.

"Not really, Pammie. I need some guidance and you're the only one that knows about this particular… issue." Harley mutters uncomfortably, she was confiding is super villains now for crying out loud.

"Gotcha, I'll be right over clown girl, hold up." She hated to admit it but being referred to as clown girl really gave her thrill, she liked feeling closer to the clown prince of Gotham.

Not twenty minutes later Harley heard the tapping at the door and opened it to see a the pretty redhead in her pajamas, a bottle of wine in her hand. "I am ready for girly chats and making up." Pam beamed and pulled Harley into hug.

"Okay, okay, don't go soft on me red. I need your help here." Harley laughed.

"Right, okay tell me what happened with the pyscho clown." Pam grabbed to glasses from the sink and poured wine into them, passing one to me as she sat down at the kitchen island.

"Well today he told me he wants me to be with him, to rule over his empire with him but I don't know… am I really cut out for that? And besides I don't know if I can be a villain." Harley sighed and looked down, she had way too much of a moral compass to be a criminal.

"Hey blondie, if he wants you to rule with him then he's serious, I may hate the guy, in fact I think he is the crowned prince of being an asshole, but he hasn't ever showed interest in someone like that before. And as for being cut out for it… you never really are. Its just the thrill of it that keeps you going. If you feel adrenaline from doing the wrong thing than you just kind of stick with it. You don't need to go around killing people and stealing things to be a bad girl Harley, the joker just wants someone as insane as he is, and if you're truly considering turning to a life of crime for him then I think you might be it." Pam touched Harley's arm and smiled. She was right, Harley was willing to give up everything to be by the joker's side so who cared if she could kill or steal, she would be feared just by being associated with J.

The girls chatted for an hour more before Pam told Harley she needed to go and let herself out the door, leaving Harley alone with her thoughts. It was a little after eleven and Harley wanted to do something fun to get her mind off of everything. She decided the only thing to do was to go and have a good drink. Her hair was still curly from the day and her make up still intact, she pulled on her leather trousers and a corset like top, sliding into leather heeled boots and reapplying red lipstick before winking at her reflection and grabbing the keys to her apartment, stashing them in her clutch. If he wanted crazy he was going to get it.

She arrived at the 'grin and bare it' at half eleven and the pulsing music inside promised a good night, without evening paying attention to the cue of people she made her way over to the bouncer, smiling as he nodded and lifted the rope for her. She scanned the room of the club for anyone that could ruin her fun but couldn't see any signs of Frost so she headed to the bar, ordering a sweet cocktail and relaxing in a stool, observing the room.

"Hey dollface, what's a pretty little thing like you doing out all alone on a Sunday night?" a sleaze ball walked up to her, clearly thinking he was some kind of criminal because he wore leather and slicked his hair.

"I'm just enjoying a drink mistah, you're welcome to join me." She made sure she said it loud enough for the barman to hear, she needed this to get back to J.

"Well I'd love to honey but my friends are all waiting for me, why don't you come join us." He pointed to a group of men who were one too many steroids. Even better, she grinned. She nodded and let herself be whisked away to their booth, catching sight of a very shocked looking Frost in the corner of the room speaking into a walkie talkie. Yeah you tell J I'm here, and I'm about to have some fun.

Half an hour later Harley was feeling a familiar buzz from the alcohol and a smile made its way to her lips as slick started to pepper kisses down her neck, slobbering a little. She was putting on a good show of enjoying it, making sure that Jonny could see the whole thing. She needed J to be mad, to hit her just so she could remember that he wasn't a good guy, then maybe she could shake the feeling of wanting to be his. She needed him to show her what she would be getting herself into if she chose him over her sanity, she needed a reason to say no.

After a further fifteen minutes Jonny had enough and went over to the booth, pulling Harley up and growling in her ear that he was taking her home, and that J would definitely know about her little night out.

Mission accomplished. She thought happily as she was dragged into a cab and commanded to go home.

…

Harley woke up with a splitting headache she was becoming accustomed to and she smiled at the memory of last night. Oh he was going to be pissed and she was going to be free of her feelings for him, all she needed was reminder of the damage he could do.

She showered and dressed quickly, choosing a tight black pencil skirt and a blood red shirt, tights and black heels to match. She applied her make up and smiled at her reflection in the mirror, popping in her contacts instead of glasses.

"Have you ever thought of wearing contacts, those glasses hide your pretty eyes." The joker's smile was beautiful as he tugged the glasses from her eyes.

"I have them, I just find these easier."

"Nothing good in this life comes easily doctor Quinsel."

Don't I know it, she thought bitterly and grabbed her bag, not much caring for breakfast today, ecstatic to get to work and see the joker. Her other patients had been taken from her care so she could devote her time to the clown's treatment and so she got to have earlier sessions with him from now on, one in the morning an one in the afternoon. She still didn't know whether seeing him twice a day was a good or a bad thing.

"Good morning J." She smiled as she entered the therapy room.

"Is it? What justifies a good morning doctor Quinsel?" he was pissed, she smiled at the ground and composed herself, sitting down.

"I suppose if nothing bad happens then it is a good morning Mr J, wouldn't you agree?" She looked at him and she could see that he was itching to attack, do it J, please.

"Then it is not a good morning, you see I found out something today. I am a very possessive man Harley, I don't enjoy people touching my things and I found out that last night someone had touched my prized possession. Now I don't care much for sharing Harley."

She tried to ignore the flip flop her heart did at the way he described her as his prized possession and acted as innocent as she could. "I don't know what you mean J…"

"Oh I think you do." He got up, stalking towards her, "I think you did it on purpose, to get my attention. Well you have it now my little harlequin, what ya gonna do?" he crouched beside her chair, his eyes burning in barely disguised fury.

"I ain't going to do anything J. There's nothing for me to do." She sat straight, defiant.

"No? Not even to apologize?" He purred.

"What's there to apologize for? I ain't done anything bad…" She stated confidently. She heard the slap before she felt it, a loud ring in her ears before the pain blossomed over her cheek, burning and stinging all at once. Like when she accidently spilt hot water on herself.

"You let that man touch you Harley!" he screamed at her, in full rage mode. "You're mine damn it! Nobodies allowed to touch you, especially in my club." He hit her again, this time staining her other cheek with a deep red handprint. She felt alive, her body buzzed with the feeling of pain and it had the opposite effect to what it should have had, she wanted to be closer to him, she wanted him to do it again. He froze in mid air as he went to strike her again and began to laugh, a manic and threatening laugh.

"Oh my little harlequin, you really have dove right off the edge of sanity haven't you?" he purred and before she should reply he pulled her to him, smothering her in a passionate kiss. Her body was on fire, it was alive and demanding, wanting nothing else but him. She needed him and he invaded her senses. All she could smell was mint and gunpowder, all she could hear was his grunts and she bit his tongue, all she could see was pale skin and green hair. He was everywhere and she loved it.

All the quickly he pulled away, laughing evilly and pushing her back into her chair, returning to his own seat and staring at her for the remainder of the session. Neither said anything, both having their own internal battle.

…

Harley was busy doodling on her note pad, little hearts and H+J adorning the page when she heard a light knock on the door. "Come in." she called as she flipped over the pad, ensuring the person on the other side of the door wouldn't see it.

"Dr. Quinsel, I have something I must discuss with you." Dr. Arkham shuffled into the room and took the seat across from Harley on the desk, looking sheepish. "Now I know he is your patient but the board have demanded the joker receive ECT." Arkham stopped, judging her reaction.

Her blood boiled under her skin, Electric shock therapy was barbaric and ancient, it had no real value and no real evidence of it curing much more than mild schizophrenia, and even that Harley was sure was rigged. "But… he is showing great improvement, this would cause him to regress." She tried to fight her corner but she knew it was too late, if the board had deemed it necessary there was no way of getting out of it. It was schedule today for her normal sessions time with the joker.

She made her way down to his cell around lunch time to tell him the bad news but was told he was doing his exercise. She sighed and left a note with guard to tell him of the treatment he was going to receive and cried to herself in the women's bathroom. She hated the thought that J was going to be hurt and she couldn't do anything about it.

Around 2pm Harley made her way to the ECT room, knowing she couldn't go inside but wanting to see J before it happened. The gaurds guided him down the corridor and as he caught sight of Harley, his eyes burned with anger. She told the gaurds to leave him with her for two minutes so she could explain the treatment.

"I'm so sorry about this Mr. J I tried to fight it but they were having none of it. When you go in there they will strap you to a table and knock you out on anesthetic. Then they will put a rubber bit in your mouth so you don't bite you tongue. They will administer five rounds of electric shock through paddles on the side of you head," she touched his forhead softly in explanation, feeling his chalky, warm skin. "Each round will be more intense than the one before but you shouldn't feel anything. Its meant to re-align the neurotransmitters in your brain but I don't believe that, I think it fries them. Just know this isn't my decision J, I never wanted this." She could feel the tears coming again and felt his warm hands brushing them away.

"Don't worry toots, I've dealt with much worse. Now give me a smile so I have something to think about in there." He grinned at her and small smile made its way to her face. "There we go, I can handle anything they do in there as long as you keep smiling, kay? Can you do that for daddy?" She nodded quickly and he smiled, waltzing into the room as if he owned the place.

There were ten minutes of torturous silence before the first scream rang out through the halls of Arkham asylum. Her heart plummeted straight away, he shouldn't be screaming, he shouldn't be feeling anything. She tried to get inside but the door had been locked and no one could hear her over the laughs and cries of pain that were escaping her joker's mouth. No they're hurting him, they ain't following procedure. She tried to knock down the door and stop them but it was no use, she was to weak to open a heavy lock door.

She slid to the floor and cried, listening to the cries of her beloved clown coming from behind the locked door, each one tearing at her own heart.

A/N Please review :)