Evening all, well at least it is in tea country,

Sorry for late update, work has been really kicking my ass recently.

Hope you enjoy

Nessa

xoxo

Chapter 20

Bruce fucking Wayne, are you kiddin' me? Harley screamed in her head as the van raced through Gotham city, her Joker cackling in the front seat. How am I going to tell J that I used to fuck batman? Will he hurt me? Fuck, I can't tell him. She looked around nervously, as if any of the masked goons around her could hear anything. The spandex of her suite was beginning to stick to the sweat on her body and the eye mask was itching. Damn, how do these superheroes wear these damn costumes all the time?

"Harls." The joker purred from the seat in front of her and she snapped her head up, making direct eye contact with him.

"Yes, boss?" She asked loyally, she couldn't let him know something was up.

"Upstairs as soon as we get home." The Joker turned back around and there was anything but romance in his voice, he sound cold and efficient, like when he was discussing killing Batman. That was fine she had her own words to be said to the damn clown, leaving her to think he was going to abandon her, making her see who the true identity of the black caped freak really was. She watched the city blur around them from the window in the back of the van and sighed, watching as they passed her old street and wondering if anyone had moved into her old home, would they be happy there? Would everyone really ever be happy when her and her lover were wreaking havoc?

"Boss, look at this." One of the goons grabbed the remote from next to him and a screen came down from the ceiling of the van. When the fuck did that get there? On the screen was the reporter of the ten 'o' clock news with a disguised Bruce Wayne, speaking of the events that had happened that night.

"It seems that the Joker has a new side kick of his own, the woman dressed in a jester costume has been identified as none other than Doctor Harleen Quinsel, who was the Joker's newest psychiatrist at Arkham asylum. It has been brought to public eye that Miss Quinsel had a real soft spot for the Joker that led on to be a little more than non-professional, the police say she could have even had a hand in the Joker's escape. Looks like a real work romance gone wrong." The reporter looks to Batman and waits for his statement but he just looks at the screen, staring right at Harleen through the glass. She knew that he couldn't really see her but she knew that's what he was doing, searching for her in the thousands of people watching the broadcast.

"Harleen, if you're out there then know that he doesn't love you, you're nothing more than a to-" Batman was cut off as the screen went black and sparks fizzled from the bullet hole that was made in the screen.

"Don't listen to the oversized bat cupcake, daddy thinks of you as more than just a sidekick. You ain't no bird boy to my bat brat doll, you're my harlequin." She glowed from the compliment he was giving her and reminded herself exactly who she had done this for, her clown prince of crime. The boys around them coughed awkwardly as the gaze between Harley and Joker heated up, unable to keep the passion from their eyes.

As soon as the van rolled into the hideout the boys all jumped from the van, desperate to get away from the sexual atmosphere inside. The Joker jumped from the front seat and held a hand out for Harley, helping her daintly jump from the back. She smiled warmly at him and he pinched her cheek lovingly, putting his arm around her shoulders as they walked inside.

"Job well done men, the bat knows we're back and he's now met the clown queen of Gotham city." The joker spoke loud enough that a whole hall of people would hear him, as if he were giving a speech at a wedding. The boys all held up their beer bottles in a toast for Harley Quinn, clown queen of Gotham city. The Joker looked proudly at his queen as she gave the boys a little courtesy and giggled to herself, she was finally accepted.

The Joker grabbed Harley's hand and pulled her upstairs, giving her no time to say thank you for the boys. As soon as they got to their bedroom, J slammed the door and locked it, a predatory look on his face. "J? I-I'm sorry if I did something wrong." Harley started backing up, afraid of the glint in his eye.

"Oh no Harls, you did so well baby, so so well. Daddy wants to reward ya', do you want that Harley girl?" She nodded without even thinking and the Joker almost jogged over to her he was that fast, slamming her into the wall and kissing her hard. The breath left her as she made contact with the plaster and her body hummed when his lips made contact with hers. She groaned into his mouth, her hands tangling themselves in his hair. This kiss was different, fueled by a job well done and a passion that she had never seen from J before; perhaps he had now finally accepted her as useful. Before long he had her undressed and under the covers, proving to her just how useful she was.

…

She laid on their bed panting, the joker beside her already reading over the local news and other villians newest quests for chaos. She looked up at him, wearing glasses he didn't even need just for effect, and smiled to herself, she had never made a decision better than him. "Puddin' what am I to you?" She swirled her hands around his chest, devoid of any hair because of his acid-bleached complexion.

"You're my queen, pumpkin pie." He kissed her head and went back to reading. It was moments like this that Harley really didn't care about anything in the world but the Joker, the moments when he was being so damn sweet. She couldn't help the guilt at having to hide her secret from him.

"So, I'm like ya girlfriend?" She asked.

He thought for a moment and then replied, "Yeah sweets, that's exactly what you are." Then he went back to reading and Harley didn't disturb him again. She sat and looked at the ceiling, thinking about how being the clown queen of Gotham was going to be. Everyone would tremble when they heard her name, bow when she entered the room. She was going to be feared all over Gotham, and associated with the Joker by everyone. She really was his over half now.

"We should make it official toots, we should let everyone know what they should call you now. Lets go on the air." The Joker got up, calling for Jonny to get him his best suit and arrange for the lambo to be set up, they were going for another outing.

"Isn't it dangerous? Going out so quickly after the incident?" Harley watched her Joker go about getting ready, brushing his hair and re-applying his war paint.

"Nonsense Harl, it makes perfect sense, and besides, we need to make sure Gotham knows you ain't Harleen anymore. Now get ready, we want you looking real pretty." He smiled fondly at her and she smiled back. "And don't wear that adorable number from tonight, I want them to see your face."

She knew exactly the outfit she was going to wear, and she ran to the bathroom to retrieve it from its discarded place. Slipping on the fishnets and hot pants she hummed to herself, pulling the top on and strapping the boots to her feet. She applied matching make up to each eye and separated her dyed ends into two pigtails. Once she was ready she walked into the bedroom and smiled as the Joker froze in what he was doing, watching her through the mirror. "Damn Harls, that's a killer outfit. We should make that your uniform."

"I've got lots of outfits to show you pud, all of them fun like this one." She winked and walked over to him, adjusting his hair slightly and straightening his bowtie. "You look hot, puddin'" He growls in acknowledgement and turns for the door, opening it in one swift movement and walking out.

"C'mon Harl, lets go let Gotham know who they are dealing with." He calls as he walks down the hall and she grins, sauntering behind him.

They blur through the Gotham streets to the only news station they have, laughing as they wind through cars and almost run people over. The Joker drives like a complete maniac but it givers her such a rush that she doesn't complain, she likes a little danger. Once they get the radio station the Joker makes a show of shooting the one security guard on duty and dramatically opens the door for Harley, bowing low as if he is a doorman for the queen of England. She giggles softly and curtsies to him, walking through the door and seeing all of the shocked and terrified faces. "Harley Quinn, nice to meetcha'." She holds out her hand for one of the nearest people to shake but they just stand they, frozen in fear as the Joker comes up behind her, wrapping an arm possessively around her shoulders.

"Well you're rude," she smumbles and frowns, drawing her gun and shooting the man in the head without another thought. Kill them all, they don't derserve to be in the Joker's presence. The voices in her head coaxed but she couldn't, they didn't have time to play.

"C'mon toots, the news is just starting." The Joker beamed and pulled Harley over to the door that lead to the studio. The light of the morning sun was just beginning to shine through the windows of the station and she knew that lots of people all over Gotham were going to be watching, somewhere out there Harleen Quinsel was getting up to start her day at Arkham. She smiled fondly to herself at that joke.

"Well helloooo Gotham city, Joker here again." J pushed the news reporter out of his seat and he crawled to the side of the room, protecting himself in the corner. J ushered for her to come and sit on his lap and she bounded over, squealing as he wrapped his arms around her.

"Just a little message from us to say, we're back! The King and Queen of Gotham city are here to stay." He laughed cruelly and Harley smiled warmly at the camera.

"Names Harley, dontcha' all forget it." She laughed along with her king and the Joker raised his right hand, gun cocked at the ready. He shot the reporter in the head and then in a millisecond had the gun pointed at the camera, pulling the trigger and efficiently cutting off the broadcast.

Harley smiled wide at her Joker and he kissed her fiercely, her still cradled in his lap and the gun pressed to the back of neck, dormant but hot. She growled as the hot shaft of the gun pressed against her skin but she really liked the pain, You're really nutso, y'know that Quinn? She laughed at her own thoughts and climbed up from Mr. J, deciding to go and pay the rest of the staff a little visit. It was time to have some fun.

When she left the booth she saw that most of the people had scarpered at the sound of the gunshots, only one security guard and the receptionist stayed, although she was hidden under her desk. Harley laughed and sauntered up to the security guard, giving him her best seductive smile.

"Hi there handsome, wanna play with me?" She purred and dangled herself off of him like a cat, she wanted to make her J proud and he loved the chase.

"You're bat shit crazy." The man spat back at her and she frowned, recoiling from him like he had just struck her.

"Now that's not very nice, y'know the best people always are a little crazy, makes for an interesting tea party." She laughed allowed and went back to her Joker, pointing the gun he had given her at the man and shooting before she could even think about it. The kick back pressed her into the Joker softly and she smiled as the adrenaline rushed through her body, like a drug.

"Damn you're good with a gun pumpkin, think we need to get you something to hide that pretty thing in though don't you?" The Joker pulled her from the building and into the car, revealing a gun holster and passing it to her. "We'll get you another pistol soon to match that one, but for now… lets go home." The Joker peeled out of the car park and sped through Gotham city, his queen laughing beside him, her hand pressed in his.

A/N Thought we needed a little more H+J chaos don't you :P Please review!