I'm so sorry this is really late, i have been working and this chapter just wasn't sounding right.

I hope you all like it.

Nessa

xoxo

Chapter 21

"Mother, mother." The boys were chaotic, all pulling and shoving at each other for her attention, all wanting to share their news first. The girl laughed and tried to calm them, tried to get them all to sit for dinner. They weren't having any of it.

The boys were feral, no parents had raised them and no father had told them what was expected of them, the world was a playground and their 'father' was biggest child of them all.

Harley felt like she could relate to Wendy darling, here she was, cooking yet again for twelve oversized children all begging for the first bite, the biggest one of them all cackling at the other end of the dining table. She made a face at the Joker as the boys all used their hands to grab at the food on the plates, their utensils sitting useless on the table. Harley had settled herself by the TV for most of the day, re-watching childhood movies and eating her body weight in salty snacks. Which is why she wasn't too worried about getting a lot of the food that she had cooked as the boys cleared the plates. All waiting for J to take what he wanted first, and then finishing off the rest like a hungry pack of hyenas picking at scraps.

She sat and nibbled at the remains of her pasta, sipping her wine and watching as J hummed in pleasure at the food she had cooked. It was still a surprise to her that she had picked up cooking so quickly, she was only ever used to making dinner for one and now for fourteen, it was an adjustment.

"I'm going to have a bath." Harley announced, pardoning herself from the table and heading upstairs. She sighed in the mirror and turned, examining her naked body. She was attractive she knew that for sure, and she knew she could get what she wanted with her body, apart from the one thing she really wanted. He hadn't even looked at her in the last week let alone given her any of the loving she deserved; it was like she just wasn't interesting to him anymore. Perhaps she had been too willing to give it up, but in the moments she refused he would get so angry he'd lash out. So what was she to do really?

Sinking into the water she let the warmth wash over her and let her worries melt away with the tension in her body, as if she was once against submerged in acid and it was eating away at the dead skin. She looked at her non-pigmented skin and sighed as she watched it glisten in the light of the candles, the water dancing in the soft glow. She was fascinated by how perfect her skin now was, there were no issues with complexion, any scars or bumps blemishing her body. She was a clean canvas, she decided it was time to let her Puddin' decorate her like a fancy art piece.

She heard him entering the room, his holster hitting the floor with a thud and his shirt following soflty. His shoes hit the wall as he flung them from his feet and the small thud as his trousers joined the pile told Harley he was naked, but what was he doing with it?

His footsteps made their way to the bathroom and the knob turned on the door slowly, the door swinging open and the green haired criminal was standing proudly at the door, completely naked. Harley giggled and watched as he entered the bathroom slowly, watching her the entire time.

"You were awfully quiet at dinner Harls, bat got your tongue?" he grinned wide at his own pun.

"I got a lot on my mind," she looked away, not wanting for him to read her thoughts, plus looking at him naked really wound her up the right way and he didn't seem to want that.

"We're insane Harl," J looked at her questioningly and climbed in the bath behind her, pulling her to his chest without thinking.

"I know but... I just keep thinking about all the innocent people we're going to hurt y'know?" She was trying to make up lies to cover her tracks, anything so that he didn't find out she was feeling insecure, he'd never let her live it down if he found she was doubting herself.

"We're bad guys Harls, it's what we do." He whispered in her ear, sounding confused and reassuring all at once.

"I know, I know. I'm being silly." She tried to smile, knowing that even though he couldn't see it he would be able to sense it.

"There is something else Harley, you won't even look at me when I am speaking to you, you're acting all shy. Quinsel ain't chatting up again is she, I'll rip her from that pretty head of yours." He growled against her neck and she smiled, the old doctor she used to be had recently joined the voices in her head as a stupid, nagging conscience that Harley really didn't need. J had silenced her with some really good persuasion but since they hadn't done much…persuading recently she had come back a little. That wasn't the problem though.

"A little but I can handle that, its something else but don't worry about it, I'm still yours." She turned in the water and kissed him passionately, hoping the surprise and her current state if undress might coax a response out of him. He reciprocated the kiss for a little while and then pushed her back softly, getting out of the now cold bath and wrapping himself in a towel, offering her one as well. She couldn't help but feel a little disappointed, she could see no fire in his eyes, no lust in the way he held himself. It was like he really wasn't effected by her at all.

"You're bored of me aren't ya Mistah J?" She wondered is a small voice, her eyes glued to the floor and her body deflated, like a sad balloon.

"What?" he looked round from where he was combing his fingers through his hair and saw Harley looking like a berated child in the corner, the too large towel swamping her tiny body. She looked so innocent and damaged; she really was his perfect match. A perfect innocent for all his evil, a counterpart for his insanity but equally as fun as he was. Even with a small frame and a neck that could snap so easily she was perfect, indestructible and unbreakable, well that's what he had thought at least.

"Harley I am not bored of you, where would you get such an idea?" He pondered, slowly wrapping his arms around the slender girl and forcing her to look to look at him. Sad blue eyes meeting crazy icy ones.

"Because you don't look at me the same way anymore, you barely touch me, and we haven't had sex in a week." She cried and wrapped herself around him like a second towel, annoyingly making his shoulder wet with her tears.

"Pumpkin pie… daddy doesn't have time for fruitless acts of human intimacy, he has an annoying flying pest to deal with and a whole team of men to keep in employment, he can't be babysitting all day." He whispered to her, not meaning to sound condescending but well aware that he most definitely did. His explanation didn't put fire back into her eyes the way it should have, neither did it make her smile, and he hated it when she didn't smile.

"Okay…" she sighed and walked away from him, into the shared bedroom, snuggling in her side of the bed and sniffling, trying to hide the fact that she was crying. She didn't want him to see her weakness, see that his words hurt her. She was nothing but a nuisance to him, she knew that now. The Joker got in beside her and snuggled under the covers, pulling her against him and inhaling the scent of her hair.

He fell asleep all to quickly and although Harley wanted to shove his stupidly perfect body away she knew she couldn't, she loved him too much and it was moments like these that she treasured. She sat awake for hours, thinking about ways to get back into the good books of her beloved clown when she began to hatch a plan to make him smile, and it didn't involve sex, well not directly anyway. She fell asleep finally, smiling at her new idea to keep Mistah J happy.

…

The next day Harley put her plan into action, calling up all the people she knew in the underworld of Gotham and telling them the news, determined to get everyone involved. By the time she was finished with the initial plan it was already lunchtime and her and the Joker hadn't eaten all day. She wondered into the kitchen to make lunch, hoping the Joker would like her surprise later and that he wasn't too busy to enjoy it. Knocking on his office door and not waiting for an answer she sauntered in, a big glass of grape soda under her arm and huge sandwich clutched in her hand. She smiled broadly at the Joker and presented the food time him.

"Aw thanks pooh, you're so thoughtful." He pinched her cheek lovingly; them tingle of pain making Harley's blood rush. He took one little sip of his soda and the engulfed a hug bite of his sandwich. Harley chuckled and gave him a quick peck on the cheek before leaving him to work on her own plans.

Harley went 'shopping' for the necessary bits for her plan and went home to prepare the house for their guest, unable to contain her excitement any longer. The Joker wouldn't notice the cleanliness of the place even if he did leave his office so he would be none the wiser to her idea but she couldn't have the guests thinking they lived like slobs.

She polished the oak table and then set it up for the events of the evening, looking at her work happily once she was finished. She looked down at her own appearance and her grin faded: She was complete mess. She needed toe clean up before her special guests arrived or J came out to get more food.

Skipping to the bedroom, Harley hummed a random tune and admired all of her cleaning of the home, it was really lovely when it was clean. She picked the perfect outfit, a tight blue dress and gold heels, and then applied a light amount of make up, fluffing her hair to perfection. She was just finished with her look when the doorbell rang and she squealed, her first guest arrived.

"Honestly Harley, do you really think me being here is going to make that damn clown happy?" Ivy asked as she walked into the entrance hall, handing Harley a bottle of wine and removing her outside coat.

"I'm hoping he'll be so happy to see his friends that he won't even care." Harley beamed and walked Ivy to the kitchen, hearing the doorbell ringing again.

"Oops more friends." Harley sang and ran to the door, opening it wide to see the rest of her guests patiently waiting for her. First in was a darker skinned man with a handsome jawline, his stare was so calculating that Harley felt a little bit uneasy is his presence.

"Floyd," he held his hand out for her to shake and she took it, her arm nearly being ripped out of its socket.

"Ah you're deadshot. I'm Harley nice to meetcha." She beamed and gestured to the kitchen, turning her attention to their next guest.

"Pengy!" She squeaked and hugged the short man, having to bend at the waist to get to his level, "you actually came."

"Yes well, can't stay mad forever, even if you did mess up my club." He looked angrily at her and she smiled impishly, telling him there was water in the kitchen for him.

"Harley, right?" The man looked at her and she couldn't take her eyes off of him, not for any beauty but for the way he looked. Half of his face looked as if it had been burned away but his eyes looked so awake, so sure of himself. He was dressed oddly, as if he had sewn two suites together but who was she to judge, she wore a latex jester costume for a uniform. She smiled warmly and shook his hand.

"That I am, you must be Harvey Dent right? AKA two faced?" She instructed him to go to the kitchen where Ivy would pour him a drink and turned to her last two guests, smiling at them both broadly.

"Where's the party at then doll face?" Black spider, who Harley had seen on more than one occasion at J's clubs, pulled her into a rough hug and then danced past her, smelling the liquor in the air.

She giggled and turned to the last person at the door, ushering him inside. "You must be Nygma," She smiles warmly and offers to take his jacket, a little off put when he clutches to it. She ignores the feeling of unease and invites him inside, the kitchen becoming way to crowded and cramped.

"Shall we go into the dining room, I'll go and get J…" The door on the other side of the kitchen slammed open and his words bit into the air around them.

"Harley what is what that fucking doorbell always going, you know I am trying to work and yet you keep annoying me, it's beginning to piss m… hello everyone." His voice dropped to an alluring purr and he smiled at all of guests. "Mind if I just borrow the host for two seconds." He grabs her hand and yanks her into the hallway. Harley stumbles, almost falling flat on her face and looking confused when he gives her an angry glare.

"Pumpkin, why are there six bad guys in my kitchen sipping wine when they should be out causing chaos?" the joker asked sweetly, the menacing tilt to his voice recognizable only to someone who heard it often.

"I bought them hear to play Yahtzee puddin', thought you deserved the night off," She grinned at her master plan and his face softened.

"Oh pooh, you really know how to spoil a guy," he kissed her cheek softly and then pushed her aside, waltzing into the kitchen and welcoming his friends more thoroughly, ignoring Ivy sulking in the corner.

…

"Yahtzee!" Harley called for the fourth time that evening, the others around the table groaning in annoyance, the Joker however was glowing with pride, his girl was a real gem.

"How'd you get so damn good at this game darl?" Spider asked fondly and she winked at him.

"I played lots as a kid, always won then as well." She pulled all of the 'money' towards her and chuckled, gleeful in her win.

"What's the next plan for Batman then, Joker?" Harvey asked whilst he cleaned the board, re-writing everyone's names.

"Well I haven't really thought about it yet." The joker scratched his chin.

"Apparently him and some other meta-humans have joined forces, calling themselves 'the league for justice or some crap like that." Floyd shook the dice, glaring at his own bad luck.

"Justice league." Ivy chimed in and Harley felt like she was watching the world's weirdest game of tennis, everyone began talking, asking questions. They all seemed pretty worried about this new band of heroes, all ganging together to defeat the bad guys. They all thought the Joker would be the top of list; he was after all, the most successful villain of them all.

"Well why don't we just make our own group? Like an anti-justice league?" Harley piped up and the whole room fell silent, all eyes staring wide at her. Then they all began to laugh, loud screaming laughs as if a baby had just fallen out of its high chair and Harley looked around confused. "What? We're all getting along? We could bring them all down if we worked together." Harley put in stubbornly.

"Harley, we're the bad guys, we don't work together we just have a mutual appreciation for each other's work, and we aren't like the super heroes." Ivy said softly, unable to hurt her best friend.

"And? That's why it's brilliant, they won't expect us to fight against them as unit, they won't be ready for us." Harley couldn't understand why everyone else couldn't see the brilliance of the plan like she could. She looked to J for back up but he gave her the look that told her to shut her mouth before he shut it for her. She shrugged at the group and took her go at the dice.

"5 fives please." Harley muttered and kept her head down, no longer caring for the game, no matter how many times she won it.