Thunderous Soul

by Primordial Vortex

Kurosaki Ichigo was a normal boy. Well, normal if you ignored the gangs trying to constantly beat him up, the ghosts that just would NOT leave him alone, and the God that lived in his soul and kept throwing a giant hammer at his face when he wasn't giving him mead. Heavy AU. harem. Different Zanpakutos.

3. Chapter 3

I'm on a roll baby! Here's hoping this lasts for a while so I can get a backlog going.

Note: Rangiku is a redhead in this story. I'm talking Erza Scarlet/Rias Gremory redhead. Why? Fuck you, that's why. LOL No but seriously, redheads are superior. Fight me.

For you fanfiction . net readers: Unfortunately, the admins are fucking brain dead idiots and they decided to make a change. You now have to enable notification emails for stories you've followed, and they even doubled down on that galaxy brain shit by making the setting automatically default to "opt out" every six months. So, unless you keep track of that, you guys are going to miss updates.

And with that out of the way, enjoy the chapter!

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Chapter III:

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In the cloudless skies above Karakura, a set of Shōji Doors simply appeared out of thin air. They slowly opened, revealing an inner light shining from within. And then a buxom, redheaded woman wearing a shihakushō, a pink scarf, and a katana behind her waist was unceremoniously ejected from within. "Ah!~" She landed in midair easily and looked down to make sure she hadn't slipped out of her uniform. Somehow, her breasts were still contained, so she turned to the doors, "Captaaain!" She whined, turning on the crocodile tears, "Come on! Surely you're overreacting! It was just an accident!"

From the Shōji Doors came a much smaller male. He had white hair and the same uniform she wore, though he also had a white haori with a green sash pinned with a star around his shoulder, which was strapping the sheathed katana behind his back. He was much younger in appearance than her, but evidently held a superior position. Normally cold in expression, the boy looked like he was very close to visibly seething, "No Matsumoto." He said flatly, "You went too far this time, and what's done is done."

"But Captain-!" Matsumoto Rangiku tried to protest, but the white-haired boy cut her off flatly.

"You've already been demoted to Third Seat." He looked like he was just barely keeping from snapping at her, "Shall I make it Fifth?"

Rangiku blanched, finally realizing how serious he was in punishing her, "I'm sorry." She managed to keep from yelping.

"Well, sorry isn't going to bring back the six months of paperwork for the entire Seireitei you managed to destroy, you damned alcoholic!" The boy yelled at her, "Do you have ANY idea how much important information could have been in that?!"

"But it's not fair! Why aren't Hisagi and Iba getting punished?!" Rangiku asked desperately, "They were responsible too! Why is it only me?!"

Hitsugaya Tōshirō smirked mirthlessly, "Oh, they are. They were given to Kenpachi with explicit orders to, oh, what was it… 'do his worst' for the entire month." Rangiku turned pasty white, and held her hands up in prayer for her drinking buddies' souls. Hitsugaya snorted, "Regardless, what the other Captains do with their Lieutenants is their business. You, on the other hand, have been pushing most of YOUR paperwork on ME for months!" He yelled, "Which means your idiocy didn't just ruin six months of my work! It destroyed TWELVE!" He yelled at the redhead, making her wince. "Since you clearly don't want to do the work, you don't deserve the position either!"

Rangiku slumped in defeat, "…My orders?"

Tōshirō grabbed both of the Shōji doors, "You're to be stationed within the current Jūreichi for a minimum of one month. Pray my mood has improved by the time you're allowed back. And if I smell even a DROP of alcohol on you when you get back, I'm sending you right back out!" He stepped back and slammed the doors shut before they dispersed into particles.

Rangiku winced at the noise, before slumping in depression, "Great job Rangiku…" She mumbled to herself, "I don't think I've ever seen him so angry…" She pinched the bridge of her nose. She still didn't even know how it had happened! She, Hisagi, and Iba had been no wilder than they normally were during their parties, and nothing like this had ever happened before. She didn't remember any of them doing anything that could have set off that fire!

She sighed in self-recrimination. She knew she was a lazy cat and often messed with Tōshirō, but she never wanted to actually make him mad. It was practically a game she played, with the boy who was basically her little brother. Maybe she should actually cut back some…

She sighed and straightened out, "I'll apologize when the month is up." She mumbled, "Hopefully things are quiet. Who knows… maybe this will be like a vacation, and I'll even be able to try out some cute human clothes!" She tried to perk herself up, but honestly?

She still felt pretty guilty…

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Honestly, Ichigo probably should have stopped beating on the idiots on his turf years ago, but he honestly couldn't help it when they were this smooth-brained. "Shut the fuck up!" He yelled, and the gang all cringed. "First question! What the hell is that?" He pointed at a small glass bottle that had fallen on its side. All of the water was leaking out of it, and parts of the neck had chipped off. Even the flowers inside were a little crushed. He glared at one of them, "You! The smelly looking dude! Answer!"

'S-Smelly?' The man pointed at himself, "Uhh… an offering for some dead kid?"

"LIL MITCH?!"

The other two yelped as Ichigo kicked him in the face with a congratulatory message, "Check out the brains on smelly!" He glared at them, "Question two. WHY is it on its side?"

They trembled, "W-We knocked it over with our skate…boards?"

"Oh, is that so?!" Ichigo unleashed the shackles on his Reiatsu the tiniest amount, and to the delinquents' terror, a ghost became visible right beside him. The poor girl had floating little animated souls next to her, and the left side of her face was absolutely covered in blood. "THEN WHY DON'T YOU FUCKING APOLOGIZE TO HER, HUH?!" The remaining delinquents screeched and ran away sobbing their apologies out. Ichigo shook his head, "Fucking morons." He groused, before turning to the ghost, "Sorry Mika-chan." He patted her on the head, "Hopefully they won't bother you again."

"It's okay, Ichi-nii-san." Mika answered, "Thanks for getting rid of them."

"Wish I could do more." Ichigo replied, "If only I could manifest my damn Zanpakutō. Then I could send you on…" He muttered under his breath.

"Hmm, did you say something, nii-san?" Mika didn't hear what he had said.

"Nah, just muttering to myself." He patted her on the head again, "You rest in peace, Mika-chan. Try to find the next life. You don't want to stay around here too long."

"Okay! Will I see you again, nii-san?" Mika beamed at him.

"Yeah, I'll bring some fresh flowers tomorrow." Ichigo told her and gave her a smile, "See you around." He waved at her before departing. It took only a few minutes more before he got home, and he called out, "I'm home…" upon walking in.

"You're LATE!" His father threw a flying spin kick at him the second the door was closed.

Ichigo caught it with one hand with a roll of his eyes, before some quick twists had the both of them crashing to the floor with Isshin in an ankle lock, "And you're slow! Get off my case!"

Karin laughed, "Nice ankle lock, Ichi. Might want to call uncle, dad!"

"Uncle! Uncle!" Isshin cried out, tapping out on the wooden boards beneath them.

"Huh? What's that?" Ichigo feigned deafness, "I can't hear you over the sound of your rules being stupid!"

Isshin found his second wind, physically dragging Ichigo towards him with his leg and trying to throw his son. Ichigo simply let go and they were both on their feet in a flash, "Stupid?! I won't take that from a delinquent! Dinner at this house is 7 o'clock sharp! No excuses! The rules of my house are iron! You break 'em, you gotta bleed!"

"I've been breaking iron since I was thirteen, so your rules are too flimsy!" Ichigo replied, ducking under a punch, and grabbing his dad from behind. Karin had gotten up with a piece of steak in her mouth, and casually pushed a collapsing table behind the two idiots. Ichigo hauled his dad up in a textbook German Suplex and shattered the table, leaving Isshin moaning in the pile of wood with his leg twitching in the air. "Nice assist, Karin." He high fived his sister, "What's for dinner, Yuzu?"

"Rice and some marinated steak!" Yuzu replied brightly, "Come eat before it gets cold!" She twitched, "Oh, Ichi, you got another one."

"What?" Ichigo looked, "Oh for crying out loud!" He glared at the middle-aged ghost, "Sorry! Fresh out of exorcisms today! Go bother someone else!" he groused, falling into his seat at the table and smiling at Yuzu as he accepted his bowl.

"You should just not believe in them. Like me." Karin finished her piece of steak and took a drink.

"Huh?" Yuzu turned to her, "But you can see them too. And so can I! They're just a little fuzzy."

"And?" Karin deadpanned, "If I don't believe in them, it's like they don't exist. I'm in permanent denial." The ghost stared at her in dumbfounded shock. He even looked like a bit of snow was settling on his shoulders.

Ichigo snorted, "I think that ship has sailed." He took a bite of his steak before rolling his eyes, "Dad, if you attack me while I'm eating, I'm making you eat the plate."

Isshin froze behind him and teared up, before he ran to the poster of their mom, "Masaki, our children are so mean to me. Maybe it's because they just hit puberty, but even our daughters are treating me like crap. What do I do?"

"Maybe stop being a preschooler inside a 40-year-old body." Ichigo threw at him lackadaisically.

"And take down that poster of mom while you're at it. It's embarrassing." Karin followed up, making Isshin sag in front of the poster. Ichigo quickly finished up his dinner before standing, "Delicious as always, Yuzu." He pecked his other sister on the top of her head, "It was a long day, so I'll be upstairs if you need me." He rubbed the back of his head after ruffling Karin's hair and making his way upstairs.

He opened the door to his room and completely froze, "Lord Buddha, what do you feed those things?!" He couldn't help but repeat what Thor had said the first time they had met Orihime. Standing in his room was an utterly gorgeous, grown woman with striking, brilliantly red hair. She was wearing what looked like a pretty old-style uniform, but while the style may have been ancient, her way of wearing it sure wasn't. In fact, he was pretty sure if she bounced on her heels, her boobs would fall out, seeing as the shihakushō was open to just above her navel. She also had a pink scarf wrapped around her shoulders and arms, and she had a katana hanging behind her back.

The woman ignored him. No, he didn't think she even realized he was speaking to her, "What is this pressure?" She mumbled to herself as she looked off to the side, "It's like its drowning out my-"

Right, that was enough of that. Ichigo used Sonido to grab her and flipped her right onto his bed. She let out a squeal of shock as she landed, her bountiful bosom bouncing before his eyes, "That get your attention?"

She gaped at him, "Y-You can see me?" She shook her head, "Wait, forget seeing! You can touch me?!"

"Oh, are you still stuck on that?" Ichigo snarked, letting her go, "Who the hell are you and why are you in my house?" He stared at her as she rolled and got to her knees on his mattress, "You don't look like any ghost I've ever seen." He leaned closer, "Where's your spirit tail thing, and what's with the getup?"

"Spirit tail thing?" Rangiku asked cluelessly.

Ichigo rolled his eyes, "Sec." He went back into the hall and grabbed the middle-aged ghost and hauled him into the room, "See?" He pointed to the wispy tail that had replaced the man's legs.

"Oh." Rangiku blinked, before starting to giggle into her hand, "Wow, I can't say I expected tonight to go like this." She tilted her head, "Hmmm, let's see. I'm Matsumoto Rangiku."

"Kurosaki Ichigo." He saw her eyes flip to his hair, and immediately a vein started throbbing on his head before she even opened her mouth, "And it stands for 'He who protects,' got it?"

Her expression must have given her away because she had immediately given him a Cheshire Cat Grin upon hearing his name. And seeing how irritated it made him, she couldn't just let it go, "Whatever you say, Strawberry-chan!"

"You wanna die, huh?" His expression must have been hilarious because it set her off on another set of giggles. He growled, "Anyway, what are you doing in my house?"

"Hmm, a demonstration maybe?" Rangiku replied with a smile, before she reached behind her and drew her blade.

Ichigo's eyes widened, 'Wait, is she?!'

She walked over and tapped the hilt of her blade to the middle-aged man's head, leaving a red stamp on his forehead that started to glow purple. "No!" The man wailed, "I don't want to go to hell!"

"You won't, mister. You're heading for Soul Society." Rangiku reassured him, before he sank backwards into a glowing purple portal that shut behind him. The final remnant of his presence was a black swallowtail butterfly flapping its wings as it exited the portal. She smiled and sheathed her blade, "As you can see, I'm-"

"A Shinigami…" Ichigo shuddered in rapture.

She blinked in more shock, "You even-EEP!"

She squeaked as Ichigo crossed the distance between them in a blink and grabbed her hands in an almost prayer-like motion, "PLEASE TELL ME HOW TO GET ONE OF THOSE!" He blurted rapidly.

She stared at him, before taking a step back, "One of those?" She grabbed her Haineko's hilt, "You mean my Zanpakutō? Sorry Berry-chan, you need to go through the Shinōreijutsuin. And you kinda need to be dead for that, and I'm not volunteering."

Ichigo looked crestfallen, "Anywhere I can steal one?"

Rangiku snorted, "No." She said flatly, "And if there was, why would I-"

"GRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"

Ichigo flinched as the loud noise penetrated his ears, "What the fuck!?"

"What?" Rangiku blinked in shock again as Ichigo's eyes snapped to his wall, "What's the-"

"GRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"

She drew in a shuddering breath, "Wait, how did you hear that before me?!" But Ichigo didn't answer, because he had leapt over his bed towards the window, slammed it open, and jumped outside in one smooth motion. "WAIT!" She shouted at his back, trying to follow him out, "You're no match for a-"

"ALRIGHT YOU FISH-FACED ASSHOLE!" Ichigo landed in front of his house right as the Hollow was about to break in. "Get the FUCK away from my house!" He blitzed forward and punched the Hollow in its torso, sending it flying away. Rangiku almost tripped at the window and had to hold herself up from how great her shock was. Ichigo cracked his knuckles, "You fuckers know the rules! DON'T COME NEAR MY FAMILY!"

"Ichigo, stop! Brute force can't-" Rangiku had one leg out the window and was calling out to him when Ichigo started to crackle with lightning. The amount of Reiatsu in the air almost had her choking in shock. 'It's him.' She realized, dumbfounded, 'He's the reason my senses feel scrambled in this area!' Her jaw dropped as he thundered forward faster than she could Shunpo. It was clear he had some sort of equivalent technique because he vanished even from her disbelieving gaze. Unlike the swishing sound of Shunpo, this sounded more like a far-away crackle of thunder. With her jaw unhinged, she watched as Ichigo pounded another fist into the Hollow's mask. The bolt of lightning he shot from his fist lit up the night sky and practically vaporized the Hollow as it passed through its skull. It rapidly dispersed into spirit particles. As she landed near him, she felt the souls the Hollow had consumed passing on towards the Soul Society. Something which shouldn't have been possible for a non-Shinigami to do. "What are you?" She asked, wondering how in the hell this was possible.

Ichigo turned to her, smirking. Like he knew he was hot shit. And she had to hold back a groan as she realized it was working. She hadn't really noticed before, but he was damn hot. He was at least six feet tall and had really packed on some good muscle from his training with Thor. He went to respond, but both of their eyes widened as more roaring started making the area rumble.

"GRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"

"GRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"

"GRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"

"GRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"

"GRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"

Rangiku used Shunpo to get close to him, drawing her Zanpakutō, "How did SIX Hollows sneak up on me?!" She cried out as plumes of dust and cracked concrete erupted close to them, "This is your fault, Ichi! Your Reiatsu is drowning my senses!"

"Get ready to fight." Ichigo wasn't nervous, but he was wary. These five definitely weren't run of the mill Hollows. And Rangiku's sharp gasp proved that wariness correct. All five of them were Huge Hollows.

"Shit." Rangiku swore under her breath. She was so glad she had been demoted and put on this mission. A regular Shinigami would have been a waste of space if this was what the Jūreichi was like. All five of these seemed very close in power to a Menos, though they weren't quite there yet. But the fact that they were working together was very much cause for concern because it went against what she knew about the beasts. She wouldn't be able to take this lightly, and her next action proved how serious she was. She grabbed both the hilt and the saya of her Zanpakutō and drew them from her belt, "Erupt! Leave naught but cinders in your wake, Haineko!"

Her sword and sheath started to glow red in her hands, before they warped. The blade and saya shortened just a tad, but what they lost in length they more than made up for in width. In her hands were now two blades. They were massive, angry, jagged looking things that really did not look like they could possibly be useful as swords. They had many different hollows and turns, with frankly silly geometry. And every single edge was beyond razor sharp. The guards were far more ornate than they really had any right to be, looking like snarling panther heads trying to swallow the blades. Finally, what looked like swirling ashes were coming from the hilts and chaining around her arms.

"…" Ichigo looked on in awe, "I've got to get me one of those."

"Why?" She snorted at his awe, "You look like you've got Hollows around here locked down tight."

"I can't Konsō with my fists! Do you have any idea how annoying these fucking ghosts are?!" Without waiting for a reply, Ichigo shot off towards the closest one, sending him towards the bigger group of three.

Rangiku laughed at that, "Well, I guess I can unde-" She leapt, avoiding the Bala that one of the Hollows had just shot at her. The attack shattered the pavement where she had been standing, leaving her to land on a lamp post, "Rude!" She huffed, before leaping and raising her blades behind her head. She swung them forward, letting go of the swords, sending them flying. The ashes around her forearms looked almost solid, chaining the weapons to her. The Hollow she was targeting was too slow to react, and just barely dodged them. Or so it thought, because the ashes connected to her ignited, burning bright and racing down to the blades. They ignited and what seemed like a volcanic eruption blasted at the Hollow.

The Hollow howled in agony as the molten pavement impacted it, making its skin start to hiss and bubble from the sheer heat, "Damn you, Shinigami!" It howled furiously, revealing its intelligence.

"Yuck. Keep your mouth shut, honey." Rangiku told it playfully.

"DIE!" The second of the two Hollows roared, opening its maw, which disgorged a nasty looking green liquid which rapidly started solidifying in midair.

"Tch." Rangiku clicked her teeth in annoyance. "I hate when they have special abilities. You never know what they do." She complained childishly as she jerked her wrists. Haineko returned to her hands, before she threw one straight into the air and started spinning it around her body so quickly it looked like a buzz saw. "Pyroclastic Flow!" She called out, ashes leaking from the 'chains' and engulfing her in a tornado of ashes. The Hollow's attack approached rapidly and seemed to impact the tornado, splattering everywhere. What few bits of it that touched the ground seemed to start to hiss as it ate through the concrete, proving it was highly acidic. The rest of it stretched around her with the consistency of taffy or gum before it started to rapidly heat up and turn to cinders. The ashes continued to spiral around her, up towards the night sky.

Inside the cyclone, Rangiku took a step forward, spun once, and then swung her blades in a wide arc. The tornado raced forward, engulfing the Hollow. It howled in agony as the ash started to practically shred it, drawing blood, and adding it to the ashes, turning it into a wet mess that caked onto it, slowing it, and stopping it from moving well. "No! I'm so close! I can't die here! I won-"

One of Haineko's blades impacted it clean in the chest, "Sorry. Better luck next time." Rangiku winked at it with an arm extended. And then the ash chain ignited, and the Hollow almost immediately started burning from the inside out. It dispersed, freeing thousands of souls. "Hmm, I wonder how Ichi-chan is doing?"

Well. The answer was well. "IS THAT ALL YOU GOT?!" Ichigo cackled as he grabbed one of their arms. Ichigo discharged his electricity, stunning the Hollow and preventing it from moving. He let go of its arm and kicked it onto its back before grabbing its leg. He started to spin wildly, lifting it clean off its feet. It looked utterly hysterical, what with him being just over six feet tall and the hollow being thirty-five. He was so glad he had kicked his first target over to the nearby park. He suspected the other three wouldn't have followed, but a quick taunt had them angry and stupid and chasing after him. Which he was about to use to his advantage, "And he steps up to the plate!" He stomped his foot, "SWING! IT'S A HOME RUN!" He had always wanted to beat a motherfucker with another motherfucker! The first Hollow's head smashed straight into the other, cracking both of their masks and causing them to howl in pain.

Ichigo quickly turned to the third of them, a lizard-like beast on all four legs with a mask shaped like an eagle's head. It screeched at him, and despite being the closest to becoming a Menos among the three, it would have been a garden variety one due to its mindless lack of real intelligence. But that didn't mean it couldn't fight. It raised up onto its hind legs before slamming down. The earth erupted in front of it, bursting in a series of shockwaves that raced towards Ichigo.

The erupting plumes smashed into him, forcing him back a step, before he roared and pulsed his Reiatsu around him. The dust cleared, and his eyes widened as the Hollow had vanished. And then the earth beneath him rumbled, and the beast burst out from underneath him, chomping down with crushing force. "GAH!" He shouted as the air was driven from his lungs, blood escaping his mouth. Its jaws had actually been strong enough to penetrate his Hierro! He quickly ignited his veins, increasing his defensive power and keeping it from biting clean through him. Even his right leg hadn't escaped, with the secondary set of jaws chomping on it. He raised his one free arm and slammed it down on the hooked beak piercing his diaphragm, shattering it.

The Hollow went mad with rage and agony as it lost part of its mask, and it started to thrash with him inside its maw. It reared up and threw itself forward, driving him into the ground. His head split open from the impact, and he had, "ENOUGH!" Roaring furiously, Ichigo wrenched open its jaws, before he kicked down at the secondary set and freed his other leg. Another kick had the Hollow gagging as its inner teeth shattered and rained down its gullet. Ichigo escaped, fuming that his lapse of attention had led to his worst injury from a Hollow fight in over two years. He focused his Reiryoku, rapidly regenerating. "Alright you big-beaked turd. No more Mr. Nice Ichigo." He used Sonido to mount it and speared his hands into its back, before igniting them with electricity. The Hollow lit up like a Christmas tree, its skeleton flashing. It fell back to the ground and Ichigo stood, before stomping. His attack split the Hollow in half, and it started to disperse into spirit particles. He glared at the other two, and saw that one of them had gotten up and seemed to be bulging. Likely some special ability or another.

Well, he definitely couldn't have that. Especially not so near to so many houses. His hand shot into his pocket and pulled out a coin. His hand started to spark, before his thumb jerked. The coin shot forward at hypersonic speed, piercing through its head in what looked like a bright lightning bolt.

He glared at the last remaining Hollow, who was still twitching from his earlier electrocution. With a quick Sonido, he kicked it onto its back once more and reared his fist back. It crackled with electricity as he drove it down, piercing through its mask and shooting a lightning bolt into the sky.

He landed, still irritated with himself, "Tch. Fucking careless." He chided himself.

'Yeah, wasn't a great look.' Thor confirmed with a growl, 'First time fighting an enemy that used the terrain and misdirection. Probably would have caught me as well. Good thing it was weak.'

Ichigo leapt up onto a light post and raced back to where he could sense Rangiku wrapping things up.

…

Rangiku let out a satisfied sigh as she swung both her blades, slicing off the Hollow's head. "Well, that sure worked up an appetite." She resealed Haineko and rubbed the back of her neck, "I could sure use some sake!" She said, before freezing as she remembered why she was even in the human world in the first place. Before she could worry about it any longer, her head snapped towards the lightning bolt that had shot into the clear sky, a ways away. "…I hope that none of that was visible with him still in a human body." She took a step to meet up with him before her senses screamed and she threw herself to the left. But it was too late.

A squelch rang through the night, followed by the sound of splattering blood. Rangiku was on one knee, and she shakily looked down, seeing the tongue piercing straight through her chest from the other side, 'What? H-How did?' She trembled as her head turned, and saw a sixth Huge Hollow that had hid itself perfectly. It was just now disengaging its camouflage, appearing out of thin air. 'No…' She thought to herself as she felt her Reiryoku start to go wild. 'Nonononononono, not that!' Her Reiatsu started to become visible as it leaked out of her from the damage to her Hakusui. Its tongue had snaked towards her rather than shooting in a straight line, so when she had thrown herself to the side, it had just nicked the vital pressure point.

The Hollow, sensing its meal getting less and less tasty by the second, wrapped its tongue around her and reeled her towards its mouth.

And then Ichigo crashed down on it like a bolt of lightning, crushing its skull in one go. As it dispersed around him, he reached out and caught Rangiku, "Rangiku!" He cradled her and gently lowered himself to one knee, "Shit!" He didn't know any healing techniques! She grabbed his shirt and tried to speak, but nothing but a spurt of blood came out. Her sword turned into spirit particles and vanished, and her shihakushō turned into a white robe as her Reiatsu died down to just a trickle. "What the fuck?!" He blurted as she passed out in his arms, "Shit! Rangiku, don't fall-"

"Ichigo!" His head snapped up and his eyes widened as he beheld his father. "Shit, it had to be her, too! Quickly, lay her down!" He was wearing the same shihakushō Rangiku had been wearing! Ichigo's eyes bulged as he realized that meant his father knew this lady personally! Isshin kneeled in front of him and swore, "Damn it! That's her Hakusui!" His hands glowed green and he held them above her wound, "I can't heal this. Her Reiryoku is leaking out. That's one of the two worst spots for a Shinigami to be pierced." The cuts closed up, but Rangiku remained unconscious.

"Is that what happened to you?" Ichigo asked flatly.

Isshin shook his head, "No, and we'll talk about it later." Isshin said, "I need to get her to a friend of mine. Kaidō can't heal a damaged Hakusui or Saketsu. She'll need to be put in a Gigai to heal."

"I'll just pretend I know what any of that means." Ichigo said, before lifting her easily, "Where to?"

"No need." A new voice rang out, revealing a somewhat disheveled-looking man with light skin and gray eyes. His hair was messy and a rather ashy-blonde, with strands framing the sides of his face and hanging between his eyes. He wore a dark green samue, and over it he had a black haori with a white diamond pattern along its bottom half. "Six Huge Hollows was more than enough of an attention grabber. I rushed over just in case."

"Kisuke. Can you help her?" Isshin asked his apparent friend.

"Of course. You've stabilized her. We just need to get her into a Gigai." Kisuke replied. He took her from Ichigo, "Well Kurosaki-san," He smiled lackadaisically, "I'll leave the two of you to it. Looks like you've got a bit of a sleepless night ahead of you."

"Oh yes." Ichigo said, causing Isshin to sweat lightly, "I'm pretty sure we do." Kisuke inclined his head goodbye, before vanishing with a whisper of wind. Ichigo stared at his dad, "So? You've been pretending to be unable to even see ghosts for three years. What's different now?"

"They never dared come so close before, and Rangiku being here is a surprise. It also means that things are starting to move." Isshin let out a sigh and ran his hand through his hair, "Let's go back to the house, son. This isn't going to be a short conversation." Ichigo nodded and vanished with a crack of thunder. "Damn, he's good at that." Despite himself, a proud smile rose on his face.

He quickly took his phone out of his pocket and shot a very direct text to Kisuke, before he put it back in his shihakusho and simply faded away, revealing an afterimage.

-]|[-

"So. You knew her?" Ichigo asked his father.

Isshin nodded sheepishly, "She was my Lieutenant back when I was Captain of the Tenth Division. Really makes me wonder what the hell she's doing here without even her Lieutenant armband."

Ichigo's eyes widened, "Is that like in the army? You were an officer rank?"

"Ha! No, we had much fewer positions." Isshin shook his head, "There are Thirteen Divisions, with the Captain being the head honcho for the Division. Only the Captain-Commander was above us, and he was also the First Division's Captain."

Ichigo's eyes bulged, "Holy shit!"

Isshin smirked, "That's right. Your old man was a big deal!"

"Actually, I was more shocked they let your preschooler ass be in charge of anything." Ichigo smirked as Isshin fell over. He got serious, "Alright. So, what the fuck happened?"

Isshin looked at him, rubbing his beard, "Okay, how much do you know? Seeing as I'd happily have you as my Lieutenant and not a single person could accuse me of favoritism or nepotism, it's far more than you should know. How did you manage that?"

"Not much." Ichigo admitted, "I met my Zanpakutō spirit years ago." Isshin snapped his finger at the confirmation of Kisuke's theory, "And most of what I do know is just conjecture from him. I know that mom was some sort of magical girl-" Isshin sputtered and sprayed his drink to the side before bursting into laughter.

"Bwahaha! Oh, Masaki would have loved that!" He crowed, before getting his chuckles under control.

Ichigo snorted. It was pretty funny, "And he guessed that my Shinigami powers came from you and not her. He also knew that somewhere, a Hollow was involved because I have Hollow powers. I only know simple stuff that Thor-"

Isshin sputtered, choking on his tea again, "THOR?!"

"That's what he calls himself." Ichigo shrugged, "And I don't exactly have anything to dispute that. He's huge, Viking, drinks mead like it's mother's milk, and has a giant freaking lightning hammer."

His father goggled at him, "That's…" He rubbed his chin, "That's very different from most Zanpakutō." He said, "Yeah, they're not exactly physical mirrors of us. Hell, my Engetsu is a fire demon! But I've never heard of any Zanpakutō claiming to be a Mythological Deity…" He shook his head, "We're getting sidetracked. We'll get back to that later. Sorry I interrupted you."

"Whatever." Ichigo shrugged and continued, "I only know simple stuff that Thor was able to beat into me, along with a whole hell of a lot of combat practice in my Inner World."

"High-Speed Regeneration?" Isshin questioned, and got a nod from his son, "Well, that explains why you stopped waking up with bruises." He mused under his breath. "Is that everything?"

"Yeah. Now what the hell is going on, why did you pick now to reveal your powers, why couldn't you save mom, and how do I get a goddamn Zanpakutō of my own!?" Ichigo nearly snarled. That third one might have been a low blow.

"What do you mean? You said you know your spirit already!" Isshin looked confused.

"The blade!" Ichigo yelled, "Thor and I think that not having one is blocking me from hearing his real name! Not to mention that I can't Konsō the damn ghosts without one!"

Isshin facepalmed at the second reason, "Of all the-" He shook his head, "I'll give Kisuke a call and see if he can't get his hands on an Asauchi. It's the 'empty' blade given to all Shinigami when they enter the academy. The Asauchi eventually becomes the Zanpakutō." Ichigo nearly sagged in relief, and Thor started getting excited inside of him. He sighed, "As for the rest of your questions… initially, I wasn't. But I felt Rangiku get injured, and with the way her Reiatsu started to go out of control, I knew it was pretty bad and she was going to be out of commission. Meaning she'd need someone to help her with her duties, and you fit the bill. If I still know her half as well as I remember, she took a liking to you and will want to crash here, meaning she'd-"

"Recognize her old Captain immediately." Ichigo finished, revealing a twitching eyebrow, "Why did you never tell us? Were you EVER going to tell us?"

"Well for one… you never actually asked!" Isshin laughed at the look of rage on his son's face. He seriously looked like he was going to blow a gasket. He focused again. "In all seriousness…" Isshin sighed again, "Eventually…" He said heavily, "Your mother and I never wanted any of you to be wrapped up with the dead, but you were determined to be ever since you were a baby. Back then, neither Masaki nor I could even use our powers anymore, and by the time she died, only she could. I was still practically powerless. I… I couldn't even feel it when she was gone." He clenched his fist, and Ichigo's hard stare softened. He pulled his dad into a hug for the first time in years, and the man let out a shuddering breath, "After that, I REALLY didn't want to bring you into this world, and once you kicked the door open anyway, you were doing so many impossible things that we decided to let you keep on your own path without any biases from us. We just kept a close eye to make sure you were never in danger."

"Well, I suppose if there were any reason to not speak up…" Ichigo muttered, "Still, it would have been really useful if you had. You know that Tatsuki, Orihime, and Chad all have powers as well, right?"

Isshin blinked, "Uhh… well, shit."

Ichigo coughed in surprise, "You didn't?! How?!"

"Well in my defense, I'm kind of just getting back into the swing of things. Until I'm at full strength, your Reiatsu will be stronger than mine to such a degree that you'll blot out my senses." Isshin replied.

Ichigo winced, "Rangiku said the same thing."

"Okay, so I'm assuming you were able to teach them something, right?" Isshin asked him.

"Yeah." Ichigo said, before he raised his arm in front of him and allowed his veins to light up with power. "I was able to teach them this, and they eventually developed some weird abilities of their own. No idea what they are."

"Blut Vene?!" Isshin gaped, "Wait, you have Quincy abilities too?!"

"The hell is a Quincy?" Ichigo asked, though he was glad to finally have a name for that particular power.

"Oh, for crying out-" Isshin stopped, and took a breath, "Okay. Let me start from the beginning." He paused, and then stared uncharacteristically hard at his son, "Let me be blunt, Ichigo. Whatever you were expecting of the afterlife and us losing our powers, you were underestimating it. I want to be very clear here. If this is too much for you, or you want nothing to do with it, that is your choice. None of us are going to force you to participate in any of this."

Ichigo stared at him for a few seconds, surprised at how serious his father was being, "Alright. Lay it on me."

Isshin nodded, "The first thing you should know is that the current situation goes back more than a hundred years. There has been a conspiracy within the Gotei 13 lasting at least that long. At minimum, there are two, maybe three Captains that only have their own interests and goals in mind. One of them in particular was responsible for an incident 100 years ago that led to eight Captains and Lieutenants suffering from Hollowfication, which is just about as deadly and nasty as it sounds. Imagine someone stronger than you being turned into a mindless Hollow." Ichigo stared at him with his jaw slightly unhinged, "We're not sure exactly what the mastermind is after, but at the very least, he's aiming to breach the gap between Shinigami and Hollow. Something which will make him and his conspirators orders of magnitude more powerful than a pure being of either kind could ever be. We ALSO know that the ringleader has some kind of illusionary-based Zanpakutō of extreme power and capability, which is how he is able to get away with so many of his misdeeds. He currently has the complete trust of the Gotei 13, and that makes him a dangerous enemy. My friend from before, Urahara Kisuke, was the lead scientist in the Seireitei as the Captain of Division 12, and he had created a device which was capable of doing what the mastermind desired. Fearing his invention, he attempted to destroy it, but was unable to do so. Once the eight were Hollowfied, Kisuke was able to use his device to stabilize their souls. Unfortunately, the mastermind used that to his advantage, and was able to frame Kisuke and one other for the incident. Kisuke was to be stripped of his power and exiled to the human world, and all of the victims were to be put to death."

Ichigo had slowly grown more and more horrified at what he was hearing, but that did it. "WHAT THE FUCK?!" Ichigo leapt to his feet, completely incensed, "What the fuck do you MEAN they sentenced all of them to death?! None of the victims had any fault at all!"

Isshin sighed, "And therein lies the biggest of Soul Society's problems. Before the Gotei 13, the afterlife was… completely lawless. A feudal society, with all that entails." Ichigo grimaced, "If you had power, you did anything you wanted until you died once more, throwing you into reincarnation. After the founder of the Gotei 13 established order, a government rose. Unfortunately, that government was full of nobles who did not want to share power. This in conjunction with the fact that souls (and especially powerful souls) are extremely long lived, meant that Soul Society has really barely moved past that initial state. Imagine a Japan just barely into the Meiji reformation being stuck that way for 1000 years and you'll have an idea. The Central 46 holds all the power over laws and sentencing and is made up of forty 'wise' men and six judges. Whatever they decree is law, and because they operate with the authority of the Soul King, no one dares to challenge their rulings even if they have the power to."

"That's disgusting." Ichigo spat, clenching his fists in fury.

"It was normal for me." Isshin shrugged, "It's only now that I've lived in a modern society that I realize just how fucked up it all actually was. I'm only giving you the basic details. It's actually even worse."

Ichigo sparked, a small tongue of lightning striking his comforter and lighting it on fire. He yelped and hurried to put it out, while his father first gawked and then burst into laughter. "That's… I don't even know what to say to that." Ichigo was blushing slightly as he glared at his father.

Isshin nodded grimly, "Right. So, the eight victims were sentenced to death for, well, being victims. All Hollows are to be put to death, after all. It is the Shinigami's mandate. Kisuke and his friend Tsukabishi Tessai were to be permanently banished and imprisoned respectively."

"Fucking blow it all up. It's all broken." Ichigo grumbled.

"You're not wrong…" Isshin sighed, "But that is just history. Kisuke, Tessai, and all eight of the Captains and Lieutenants were able to escape with the help of one last friend, Shihōin Yoruichi. Aizen Sōsuke (the mastermind) was able to get away with it, and continued whatever experiments he was performing after getting wind of Kisuke's invention. Fast forward to eighteen years ago. I was Captain of the Tenth Division as I said, and we got a report stating that a Shinigami had died while on patrol in Naruki City. A month later, we got a report saying the cause was still unconfirmed, but that two more had died. I left on an unauthorized mission to the city and ended up facing a Hollow that was extremely powerful, and yet seemed to be mindless. Ones that powerful are generally very intelligent, so it was strange. While fighting, I was attacked from behind by an enemy I couldn't see, and because of the injury I was unable to fight at full power and was being defeated by the Hollow."

"Aizen?" Ichigo asked, "His illusions would have kept you from seeing him, right?"

"Not sure, but it's the most likely scenario." Isshin confirmed, "In any case, I'm there getting my ass beat, and then Masaki showed up. There I am, a Shinigami Captain, and this wonderfully brave girl who has to know that the Soul Society and Quincy don't get along pops in, and she just starts blasting the Hollow to save my life."

"Wait, why don't they get along?" Ichigo asked in confusion, "And what are Quincy anyway?"

"Quincy…" Isshin took a breath and then a drink, "Are humans who gained enough Reiryoku to start developing spiritual powers of their own. And that creation is the entire problem. These were humans who at one point had no idea what had been attacking them for generations. All they knew was that their people occasionally got savaged by something they couldn't see. And then they could see them, and saw their brothers and sisters and mothers and sons get eaten by monsters. They developed a method of killing them." Isshin closed his eyes and bowed his head, "Only they had no idea what they were doing. They knew nothing of the afterlife or of reincarnation or how the balance of souls in each world must be maintained. Hollows eat souls and hoard them inside their bodies. Shinigami slay Hollows, freeing all of the souls inside of them. And more importantly, we allow the dead to move on from this world, where they do not belong. The balance of souls is precarious, and maintaining it is the most important goal of the Gotei 13. The Quincy were outsiders who knew nothing, and so they developed the worst possible method of dealing with their attackers." He opened his eyes and stared sadly at Ichigo, "When Quincies kill Hollows, the beasts aren't purified. They are eradicated, destroying every single soul they have consumed, and removing them from the cycle of reincarnation."

Ichigo choked, letting out a horrified noise, "You're kidding!" Even Thor felt like he was unsettled slightly at the revelation.

"I'm not." Isshin said heavily, "And if all they did was defend themselves, it would have been one thing. But for the Quincy, Hollows had been massacring them for years. Hollows devour the souls of Humans, so 'why do those who harm and kill friends and relatives get sent peacefully to Soul Society?' And so, they decided to massacre them in return. The Quincy didn't only defend. They attacked with the intent of wiping out Hollows. And that eventually got the Seireitei's attention. The Shinigami tried to get the Quincy to stop. To explain that what they were doing threatened ALL of life. To leave the Hollows to the Shinigami and only defend themselves if needed. But the Quincy didn't care, leading to war. I'm sure you can guess what the result of that was."

"…Fuck. They killed most of them, didn't they?" Ichigo bit his fist, raging at the idea of a genocide that was done because if they didn't, the world might have been destroyed.

"Twice…" Isshin sighed heavily, "The Quincy had an emperor a thousand years ago, and he wanted to conquer Soul Society itself. They failed, and were almost entirely wiped out. The Sōtaichō was much more bloodthirsty in his youth. It's part of the reason he gave up so much authority to the Central 46. Pockets of the Quincy remained, and were able to rebuild without their Emperor, leading to the situation being reignited 800 years later. Again, the Shinigami tried to reason with them, and again, they were rejected at every turn, leading to another massacre."

Ichigo ran his hand through his hair, "This is just…"

"Awful all around." Isshin finished, "But regardless, Masaki saved me, and for some reason the Hollow turned around and started targeting her. She couldn't hit it. It was too fast and agile. So that crazy woman allowed the Hollow to get in close. It bit her, and she held it down so she could blast its head off at point-blank." Isshin laughed, "I swear, it was love at first sight, even if I didn't realize it until long after." Ichigo smiled at the thought that his mom was such a badass, "Unfortunately, things weren't all fine. I returned to Soul Society and escaped punishment, but I could not get Masaki out of my head. I again came to the human world in secret, and discovered that the Hollow's bite had infected her. She had a hole in the middle of her throat, like she was Hollowfying." Ichigo looked utterly horrified at the news, "And that was exactly what was happening. Kisuke had run into her and had her under observation, since he recognized the signs. When she collapsed, the family she had been living with rushed her out of the house, running into me. Kisuke found us and offered to help save her life. He had been studying Hollowfication for almost a century after all, and had found a way to keep a Hollowfying soul from committing Soul Suicide. In laymen's terms, think of it like the soul being a matter-antimatter reaction and annihilating itself."

"How?" Ichigo asked him. From what his father was describing, it sounded like his mother should have died, "Did he use his invention?"

"No." Isshin shook his head, "He created a vaccine, but it could only prevent Soul Suicide. It did nothing for the process of Hollowfication. For that, there needed to be a constant presence diametrically opposed to the Hollowfication to keep it suppressed. The opposite of a Hollow is a Human, and the opposite of a Quincy is a Shinigami. Kisuke had created a special Gigai which would give a Shinigami an actual human body (rather than the facsimile they normally used) making them the polar opposite of a Hollowfying Quincy and able to keep the Hollowfication at bay. My soul was bound to Masaki's for the rest of her life, and it was the easiest decision of mine." Isshin smiled, "Like I said… it was love at first sight, and being able to be by her side for the rest of her life? I'd take that any day."

Ichigo closed his eyes, smiling and feeling happy for both of his parents. He only wished that they hadn't had that happiness torn from them. That his family hadn't lost her. But unlike long ago, the thought didn't burn within him. He still wanted to rip the Hollow responsible limb from limb, but there wasn't a threat of him drowning his Inner World anymore. He looked at his dad, "I just wish she was still here."

"Me too, kid. Me too." Isshin said before continuing his story. "Urahara helped me open up the clinic, since that was the one skill I had which translated over to the human world. Before too long, Masaki and I had married, and then you were born." He chuffed, "Both of us had miniscule powers left after the incident, but we had enough power to still sense Reiatsu. We worried because even as a baby, you had enough to perhaps draw a Hollow if it was close enough to you. We had no way to protect you, with both of our powers gone. Mine because of the Gigai, and Masaki's because of the Hollow. And then something quite unexpected happened." He winced slightly, "Masaki's power started coming back."

"Because the Hollow had migrated to me." Ichigo said flatly.

"Got it in one." Isshin looked uncharacteristically timid at the moment, "We were terrified of what that meant for you, but Urahara never could find anything, and nothing bad ever seemed to happen. And at the very least, Masaki could now defend us. My powers had started returning too, but it was at a glacial pace compared to hers. By the time of the attack, she had been back to full strength, while I wasn't even at the level of an academy student. Even now, years later, I still haven't recovered fully. Urahara had never actually designed this Gigai to allow the recovery of spirit power, and we were afraid that if I left it, the Hollow inside you might become active. So, I never did… and then a Hollow that your mom should have been able to kill with the greatest of ease got her. We never figured out how or why."

Ichigo looked down, and thought back to that day. "Dad… There was something about that night I never told anyone else." Isshin's eyes widened, "Mostly because I didn't believe what I was seeing at the time. Not until Thor started training me." He took a breath and locked eyes with his dad, "Mom had been protecting me. I saw her bow. But before she could fire, a massive light shone from above and engulfed her. When it vanished… so did her bow." Isshin's eyes were wide with shock as he stared at his son, "The last thing I remember was her diving for me in a panic, and then nothing."

"This…" Isshin gnawed on his knuckle, "I have no idea what that means, but it is important. I know it. I'll have to speak with Kisuke about it. Maybe he knows more."

"Right." Ichigo said, "So where do we go from here? And when are we going to tell Karin and Yuzu? They both can see ghosts, which means they're going to be targets. We can't be everywhere."

"For certain, we can begin training you in full, if you're interested." Isshin said, "And we'll have to try to figure something out for your friends as well, if they are. As for the girls…" He chewed on his knuckle again, "I suppose you're right. We'll have to get them caught up with the less… dangerous stuff. I imagine I can start teaching them Kidō if nothing else."

"Obviously I am." Ichigo said, before smirking, "Like hell I'm going to leave an evil megalomaniac to your ass."

"Hoh? Cocky little shit, huh?" Isshin raised an eyebrow, "I'll admit, I expected that part of the story to throw you off."

"Dad, the first thing Thor ever did when we met in my dreams was throw his hammer at my face." Ichigo deadpanned, making his dad choke, "And quite frankly, I've got Thor in my head. I've long since given up on anything normal, and I love fighting.."

"Well…" Isshin cleared his throat, "That's that, I suppose. I don't want to interrupt Kisuke while he's working, so let's call it a night here. You still have school tomorrow, after all. Unless you have any other questions?"

"Just one…" Ichigo smirked, "Are they real?" Isshin looked clueless, so Ichigo raised his hands in a very obvious motion, and his dad did another spit take before bursting out laughing.

-]|[-

"You daydreaming again, Hime?" Tatsuki poked her friend on the nose.

"Wah!" Orihime jumped, "Mou, so mean, Tatsuki-chan." She pouted, "You sensed it too, didn't you? Do you think Ichigo will be late?"

"Course I did." Tatsuki scoffed.

Sado came and leaned on the wall next to Orihime, "I'm not really worried. Ichigo handled it, like usual. But…"

"There was that other signature." Tatsuki finished.

"Multiple of them… including his dad, I think." Orihime said, before giggling, "Sneaky Mr. Kurosaki! He pulled a fast one on us!"

"Ugh, I can't believe Thor was right." Tatsuki rolled her eyes, "Really would have been useful last year while Ichigo was failing to teach us anything."

"Yeah, yeah." Ichigo rolled his eyes as he flicked her on the back of her head. "Glad to see you still love my training."

"Gah! Jerk!" Tatsuki glared at him, "You and your stupid Sonido. I couldn't even tell you moved from your house!"

"Pay better attention then." Ichigo smirked, enjoying their little game. Every morning he would suppress his Reiatsu to a degree and sneak 'attack' his friends to train their senses. Today had been a 'hard mode' morning.

"So, did a Shinigami finally come?" Sado asked his best friend.

"Never mind that!" Orihime cut in, "Are you okay, Ichigo? They came so close to your house, and they seemed pretty strong! I had to stop Tatsuki-chan from running out of mine to go help!"

"Idiot! Don't tell him that!" Tatsuki flushed, looking away.

"Meh." Ichigo held back a groan, "Thor's going to kick my ass. One of them was a burrowing asshole and it surprise chomped on me from below. Had to fight it off and it got me good."

"Eep." Orihime made a funny sound, "Noooo! It's no fair if they're smart!"

Ichigo snorted, before turning to Sado, "And yeah, we finally got one. There was a final Hollow with complete camouflage, and it managed to injure her in a… pretty bad way for a Shinigami, so she's going to need to recover…" He rubbed the back of his neck, "And I'd put money on her showing up as a 'transfer student' at some point today in what dad said was a fake body."

Tatsuki brightened up, "Oooh, so Thor WAS right! Maybe we can learn some actual stuff now." She snarked at her second-best but oldest friend.

Ichigo smirked back at her, "Oh, you'll be too busy with Honshō duty to worry about learning anything."

"What?" Tatsuki glared, "What the hell does that mean?"

"It means she makes Hime here look inadequate." Ichigo patted the other orange-haired person in the class on the head. All three of them blushed, looking at him a bit agog before the bell rang and they had to get to their seats.

…

"Well, this is unusual." Miss Ochi said right after the first break of the day, "Looks like we got a transfer student, class. Make sure you welcome her warmly!"

"Here we go…" Ichigo hid a smirk behind his hands as the door opened.

Everyone in the class except for Ichigo choked as Rangiku stepped in, arms behind her back lackadaisically as if she was completely unaware of the absolute battle the top button on her uniform was fighting. The other two had already lost the fight, leaving her cleavage exposed. Her skirt looked to be riding a little high too, or maybe it was a bit shorter than it should have been. She had legs for days too. "Hey everyone." She gave them a wink with a happy grin, "I'm Matsumoto Rangiku. Please take care of me."

"PLEASE MARRY ME!" Several voices, Chizuru's and Keigo's the loudest, squealed out.

"No." Rangiku's happy smile didn't drop in the slightest as she turned them down.

'Damn… she looks fucking great.' Ichigo groaned in his head.

"What the fuck…" Tatsuki gaped at the redhead.

Orihime stared, then looked down at her own breasts, then back at Rangiku's. Inside her head was just a spinning loading wheel.

Even Miss Ochi had a brainfart, thinking to herself that that was just not fair. She quickly shook her head and welcomed her in, "Welcome, Matsumoto-chan! Care to tell us some things about yourself?"

"Hmmm." Rangiku brought a finger up to her lip and tapped it while looking clueless, and she even managed to make that look somewhat sensual, "Well, I suppose I love dried persimmons." She held back a snort as she noticed several other students taking notes.

"Wonderful!" Miss Ochi stated, "Go take your seat next to Kurosaki-san, please, so we can get started. Kurosaki-san, can you wave?"

"Oh, it's fine. I already know him." Rangiku dropped a bomb, making Chizuru let out a frightened/frustrated scream. She strolled over, "How's it going, Berry-kun?"

'Oh. She wants to die.' Roughly half the class had the thought run through their minds.

Ichigo's eye twitch, "Sup, Titty-Queen?" Most of the girls gasped in scandalized shock.

"Oh, you noticed! I'm quite proud of them, you know!" Rangiku turned it around as she sat, making the other girls goggle at her now. "Think you could share your books? I don't have any of my own, unfortunately."

"Yeah, yeah. Get over here." Ichigo waved her over as the classes started. And then Rangiku remembered just how boring this would be, and spent the entire period moping. She really should have spent time thinking about a different cover instead of going with Urahara's 'easy' suggestion.

-]|[-

"Hmm, this isn't quite what I had in mind when I said we should talk alone." Rangiku stated, staring at Sado, Tatsuki, and Orihime. They had all come to the school roof to talk. "Also, was that some sort of tradition around here?" She asked, referring to the smoking craters she'd left in Keigo and Chizuru's faces when they came flying at her with very grabby hands.

"Nah, those two are just retarded around pretty girls." Ichigo chuckled. Keigo had immediately gotten up and tried to accost him, asking where he had been hiding the babe. Ichigo had predictably clotheslined him like usual and then tossed him on top of Chizuru. In a compromising position for good measure. Tatsuki had pictures!

Tatsuki grinned, "Good to see another girl not put up with their shit. They're dumbasses." She crossed her arms, "So you're a Shinigami huh?"

Rangiku blinked in shock, before whirling to Ichigo, "Wait, there are more of you?!"

"Nah." Ichigo shook his head, "I'm a special case. They're my best friends and ended up gaining spiritual awareness of their own. Probably my fault, there. I had no idea how to reign in my Reiatsu when I was younger. Eventually, they saw me deal with a Hollow during an attack while we were hanging out, and I started trying to teach them so they could defend themselves. They also don't know as much about the spiritual world as I do." Orihime, Tatsuki, and Sado blinked in confusion at that, before realizing he must have talked with his dad.

Rangiku groaned, "This is why Lieutenants and Captains need those seals, I guess. What a mess." She smiled, "Well, nice to meet you all!"

"You as well, Rangiku-chan!" Orihime had bounced back from her sudden bout of breast envy pretty quickly, "I'm Inoue Orihime!"

"Arisawa Tatsuki." The black-haired girl of the group shot her a peace sign.

"Yasutora Sado." Sado said, shortly, "Ichigo calls me Chad though."

"Strong name, tiger!" Rangiku smiled at him as well.

"You'll need to explain that, later. The seals, I mean." Ichigo said, "So, how long are you going to be stuck in that Gigai?"

Rangiku deflated, slouching, "Optimistically… month and a half?" She rubbed the back of her neck again, before flipping her hair out of the way, "The Hollow hit my Hakusui." She explained, "In Shinigami, the Hakusuiis one of two vital points, the other being the Saketsu. The Hakusui is the source of a Shinigami's Reiatsu, while the Saketsu can be considered a power booster. If both are stabbed, the Shinigami will permanently lose their powers, with no known way of getting them back." She said, and Orihime paled at the thought of stabbing.

"Yikes! You got stabbed?! It happened just last night! How are you already up?!" Tatsuki asked in shock.

"Healing Kidō is quite useful." Rangiku smirked, "I was good as new physically within moments, once an associate was able to help me." She replied, thinking that Urahara had been the one to help her, "Only problem is… Kaidō can't do anything for an injury to either of those two points." Orihime went to chime in that she could try healing her too, but the conversation moved on before she could. She'd have to try to remember to do that later.

Sado spoke up, "Ichigo told us about the fight. Are camouflaging Hollows common?"

"Not in the slightest. In that respect, I was really unlucky. Ones with prehensile tongues that can shoot twenty meters and pierce concrete even less so." She groaned.

"Oh, yuck! Its tongue?!" Orihime wrinkled her nose in disgust.

"Yeah. I'm no happier than you." Rangiku shuddered, thinking about how close she had been… "On the other hand, I was really lucky. It wasn't a direct hit. More of a nick. So, I'll be able to heal from it. It's just going to take a loooong, boring while." She sighed, before smiling at Ichigo, "Think I can rely on your help, big boy?" She winked at him, getting the lightest of flushes.

"Yeah, yeah. Not like I haven't been doing it for years. Still can't Konsō anything though." He grumbled, making her frown.

But then her Soul Phone rang, making them jump. She took it out of her pocket and flipped it open, "Hmm, Hollow incoming. Two minutes. Yumisawa Children's Park."

"Wow, that's nifty!" They all leaned in to get a better look, "You should get one of these, Ichi."

Ichigo cracked his neck, "Well, be right back." Ichigo said, before thunder rippled and he was gone in his Sonido.

Rangiku frowned, "He's better than me at that… Why does it sound different though?"

"What does yours sound like?" Sado asked her curiously.

"Like a rapid swish." Rangiku replied.

"Oh, cool! That's what mine sounds like. I'm the only one of us three who has managed one." Tatsuki said, happily.

"Oooh, that's impressive, Tatsuki-chan. Congratulations! Most Shinigami don't manage to learn Shunpo until they've at least become Seated Officers." Rangiku applauded her, making the martial artist smirk gleefully.

"Hmm, we should eat lunch before we run out of time!" Orihime said, pulling out her bag, "I've got a banana, pickle, and bean paste sandwich!" She smiled happily.

Tatsuki and Sado turned a little green, and then gawked as Rangiku leaned forward curiously, "Hmm, can I try?"

"Sure!" Orihime ripped off a piece for her, and to the other two's shock, Rangiku didn't vomit.

"Hmmm, I'd say it's either missing something or has too much of something." Rangiku told the much younger girl, who was beaming.

Tatsuki and Sado started to sweat, "Oh god, there are two of them!" They whispered to one another, covered in flop sweats.

-]|[-

And done!

Ayep! That just happened. I turned Haineko into the Blades of Chaos. Why did I do this? Frankly, her canon Shikai is fucking boring. It's just a sidegrade Senbonzakura. It functions very similarly and isn't very creative at all. Plus, I loved the idea of the ash chains, and of all possible stories to put them in, Bleach was certainly the fucking one. Zanpakutō have a component where they're actually pretty fucking easy to use for their owners. Can you imagine using these things without that ability? You'd cut your damn head off! LOL

Also, using Rangiku at all caught me by surprise. Usually, she isn't really on my radar, but some of my friends got me thinking and I realized she actually would work really fucking well with this Ichigo. There go another bunch of old plans thrown into the garbage LOL.

Anyway, hope you enjoyed it! I'm shredding a bunch of canon into so much confetti! An early Isshin has arrived, and had to reveal himself to help his old Lieutenant. I'm sure that won't have any ramifications at all.

As you may have noticed; I've been tweaking the power scales a decent amount. Huge Hollows are an official designation, just below Menos Grande. They gain access to the Bala ability, and also have their own unique ones like other Hollows.

As always, if you're interested in getting early access to all of my content, just search "Primordial Vortex" and you'll find my Pa Tre On! I've got quite a bit of content available, including some that are temporarily exclusive such as the first three chapters of my mass effect fic, ch2 and 3 of my mha/DxD crossover, the next Emerald Phoenix chapter, and more.