Shadowhunters || Jimonael || Light of Their (After)Life || Jimonael || Shadowhunters
Title: Light of Their (After)Life – How Jace Accidentally Got Two Sugar Daddies
Fandom: Shadowhunters: The Mortal Instruments
Disclaimer: All rights to the Shadowhunters show reserved to Ed Decter, the books the show is based off and its characters belong to Cassandra Clare. This fanfiction on the other hand is entirely mine. No money is made with this, though reviews are more than welcomed.
Tags: polyamory (m/m/m), alpha/beta/omega dynamics, wingfic, hurt/comfort, courting, fluff, BDSM, kneeling, spanking, explicit intercourse, anal, oral, knotting, sex toys, f/f, m/f
Main Pairing: Raphael/Simon/Jace
Side Pairings: Magnus/Alec, Lydia/Izzy, Luke/Catarina
Shadowhunters Characters: Jace Herondale, Simon Lewis, Raphael Santiago, Lily Chen, Magnus Bane, Alec Lightwood, Max Lightwood, Isabelle Lightwood, Lydia Branwell, Clary Fray, Luke Garroway, Madzie Loss, Catarina Loss, Imogen Herondale, Rebecca Lewis, Elaine Lewis
Original Characters: Harold 'Hal' Armstrong, Timothy Jeong, Grace Oriol, Salvador Oriol Salazar, Phoebe Nightingale, Elisabeth 'Betty' Ledoux, Michel 'Mitch' Ledoux, Tobias McKay
Summary: In the aftermath of the war, the New York Institute wants to strengthen its bonds to the local Downworlders by assigning permanent liaisons to each fraction. Jace becomes the liaison to the vampire clan and thus starts spending much more time with the mated Alpha clan-leader pair, Raphael and Simon. At the same time, he's come to the decision to start embracing his omega nature and get off the suppressants he'd been on his entire life.
Light of Their (After)Life
How Jace Accidentally Got Two Sugar Daddies
Chapter 12: The Nest
Simon hadn't slept at all. He simply kept staring at Jace the entire time. Like he was afraid Jace would get worse if he looked away. Rarely had he been as worried as yesterday. Specifically because it was Jace. Jace was so tough, he had worked so hard through everything – the war and abduction and torture and imprisonment and death and possession – so to hear that he was bad enough that someone had to carry him and go and get help?
Soft knocking on the door gained his attention. "Come in, but be quiet."
It was Magnus, carrying a vile of sorts. "This should help with his fever, he has to take it when he wakes up. And I have made some arrangements, they should arrive soon."
"What arrangements?" Simon frowned confused.
"Someone, a friend of Jace's apparently – I'm delighted to learn he's making friends – works at Best Nest, I arranged for her to bring by some… basic nesting materials for Jace," Magnus explained in a soft voice. "Since he is… in no shape to do the shopping himself and Alexander and I came to the agreement that there's no way he'd thought ahead and already bought nesting materials at one point. So, she will be by later with everything Jace may need. Tell him when he wakes up."
Simon nodded his understanding, his focus returning to Jace, who looked so peaceful asleep on Raphael's chest like that. Adorable, really. Nearly made him feel stupid for yesterday's worry. Leaning down, Simon pressed a gentle kiss to Jace's forehead. Not as warm anymore. Good.
/break\
"He—ey," Phoebe's voice was light and soft as she walked in. "Everyone decent?"
"I have a fever, I'm not fucking," Jace rolled his eyes. "Mag said you'd be by."
He sat up slowly, under more effort than this should be. Raphael gently grabbed him by the arm and helped him, until Jace was leaning against the headboard. Everything was so exhausting right now. Cat said that was to be expected, his body was undergoing something that it never had before but should have for like a decade at this point. The suppressants had done serious damage. People weren't supposed to be on suppressants 24/7 for years, after all. This, Jace hadn't anticipated when he'd gone off them, but perhaps he should have thought of the possibility.
"How about you guys go back to the hotel?" Jace suggested after a moment, regarding his alphas.
Simon looked at him absolutely miserably. "But we want to be here for you."
Jace balled a fist around his sheets. He wanted Simon and Raph with him, but he also wanted to be alone and he wanted this whole thing to be over. He was so embarrassed and frustrated by it all. Raphael took his hand, easing it off the sheets and offering him a smile.
"It's a good idea for us to check in with Lily, and to reassure Grace and the others too, that you're going to be fine. Also, a shower and a change of clothes would be a good idea."
Jace's eyes shone with gratitude for Raphael understanding what he meant, that he didn't mean to send them away but also just… needed some space, right now. Raphael leaned in to kiss his temple gently, while Simon pulled him into one more tight hug, before the two vampires left. Heaving a relieved sigh – more relieved that he didn't hurt their feelings than relieved that they left – Jace leaned against the headboard. His eyes found Phoebe, who was still standing there.
"Okay," she relaxed in her stance once she had his attention. "So, you really never built a nest before? Not judging, just want to know what I'm working with."
"No," Jace's voice was small and he drew his legs up. "I never… had a heat."
"Unrelated," Phoebe frowned at him. "Omegas nest for comfort. For safety. Sure, particularly fortifying our nests during heats and spending heats in them, but nests, in general, are a source of… comfort. It's okay. I brought some basic materials and once you feel better, you can come by the store and buy more personal things. For now, I'll teach you how to build a nest, okay?"
"I don't want to trouble you," Jace whispered frustrated.
"First of all, we are friends, not a trouble," Phoebe offered a bright smile. "Second of all, this is actually my job, like, Magnus did pay for these things."
"Magnus did?" Jace frowned at her, looking displeased. "He-"
"Nope. No, you can sort that with him, on your own, after. For now, we'll build a nest. C'mon, out of the bed you go, Herondale. You have to tell me where you want it. Also… here? I mean, you are living at the institute, right?" Phoebe paused. "Omegas can have multiple nests too, I have one at my girlfriend's too, and at my own apartment. Just, for your own reference. You can build one at the institute too, and here. So, where is a place that is safe and able to give you comfort?"
Jace frowned and ran his fingers through his hair. This was going to be very exhausting.
/break\
Magnus was sitting on the balcony, reading the newspaper – he liked being old-fashioned sometimes and there was something to the feeling of the paper, as opposed to reading it on his phone. He'd managed to shoo Alexander out of the loft to get back to work, because it wasn't going to do either of the parabatai any good if Alec kept hovering close by. He had also sent Raphael and Simon back to the hotel with a portal. And he'd texted Luke and Catarina that Jace had slept well and that his fever was going down. So many people worrying about that little Shadowhunter.
"Magnus," Jace spoke softly as he walked out on the balcony. "Phoebe just left."
"Ah," Magnus folded the newspaper, looking at him. "You're upright and walking without help, I take it you're feeling better…?"
He sniffed curiously. Jace did smell like close heat now, his natural scent heightened and spiking to the extremes. Slowly, Jace approached him and sat down, looking exhausted from the short walk from his room to the balcony. So not feeling perfectly well just yet.
"She said you paid for everything," Jace didn't sound pleased. "I'll pay you back."
"Nonsense," Magnus' eyes softened. "Your father should have bought your first nesting materials. It's the responsibility of an omega's Alpha to buy their first nesting materials. So, indulge me, as our little mismatched flock-pack's Alpha, to buy this for you, mh."
Jace looked ready to argue more with him, but he didn't. Magnus counted that as a victory. What he'd said was true. A young omega should get their first nesting material as a present from either their alpha parent, or the Alpha – the leader – of their pack or flock. Yet another thing that Valentine had failed Jace in. Magnus reached out to rest a hand on Jace's thigh.
"You chose to come here," Magnus continued. "When you were feeling… vulnerable, you chose to come here. And I need you to know that this is still your home, even if you chose to move back to the institute, the bedroom is still yours and you are still welcome here whenever you want to be here. I know I tease that you're stealing Alexander's attention, but I need to emphasis that it is just that, teasing. I want you to feel comfortable coming to Alexander, and to me, when you need."
Jace swallowed hard, like he was struggling with Magnus' words. And he probably was. Magnus knew, from experience, that kind words and kindness were hard to accept when one wasn't used to them. Jace pulled his legs up against his chest and wrapped his arms around them.
"Even a year after his death, my father still manages to fuck me over."
A bitter smile spread over Magnus' lips at that. "You were… doing so well, moving on. This must feel like a set-back. But it isn't, Jace. You accepted help, you were ready to admit that you weren't well and needed help, you gave in to your body's needs instead of forcing it to keep going with runes, the way you used to. That, that is what you have accomplished. You built a safety-net that you are finally accepting to lean into, you're listening to your body's needs. He can't take any of your progress away from you. Don't ever think that."
Silence stretched on for a bit before Jace spoke. "Thank you. That's very insightful of you."
"What can I say, you're not the only one in this family who's been working on himself with a therapist," Magnus chuckled dryly. "I've been working on my issues too. And on… better articulating my emotions, I know that's… been a weakness of mine. Drinking, rather than talking. Is there anything else I can do for you, Jace? Anything you need right now?"
"I want…" Jace blushed faintly. "Phoebe helped me build a nest. She also… talked to me, about what heats are generally like. Which… just not a conversation I wanted to have with anyone."
"Mh?" Magnus made a curious sound to indicate he was listening.
"I always thought, and never questioned it because for the most part, I had no reason to, and then… I… forgot? No, not forgot. I just, never remembered that I should also question this," Jace looked frustrated as he ran his fingers through his hair. "Valentine taught me that heats make omegas… mindless. Only driven by their instincts, only there for breeding."
Again, Magnus made a small noise, unwilling to interrupt Jace. He was feeling a little nauseous though. But then it figured, didn't it? Jace had told them, plainly, that Valentine had raised him against his nature and there had to be a reason for it. This was the reason that he had taught Jace. That omegas were weak, were slaves to their base instincts. It took Magnus a lot to keep from commenting and trying to reassure Jace; that wasn't what Jace needed right now.
"Phoebe says that being in heat is essentially just a heightened state of being horny," Jace wasn't looking at Magnus. "I never… bothered to ask anyone about that. And it's not like I knew any omegas before Clary came into our lives. All this… for nothing. I'm just… so frustrated."
"I know," Magnus whispered gently, resting a calming hand in Jace's neck. "How can I help?"
"Can…" Jace turned to actually look at him now. "Can Simon and Raphael stay here, during my heat? If they want to, I mean. I don't know if they would want to, but I didn't want to ask them without asking you first, since that's…"
"As I said, this is your home. You can invite your… boyfriends," Magnus smiled bemused as he used that word. "Yes, they can stay and spend your heat, if that's what you want. Is it?"
"I… don't know," Jace frowned again. "I'm trying to listen to my instincts, but it's honestly hard, I fought against them so often for so long. But… being with them, last night… it did help. I know part of it were the potions from Cat – which, I want to thank her for – but… they made me feel… safe. I am… not afraid, but… you know… about this, because it's something I never… experienced before and I… want to feel safe, during it. I just don't know if they… I know they want to be there for me, but we also only just got together? This feels like… a lot to ask of them… And I don't know how comfortable Raph would even be with it, at all, since he's – you know – not into sex…"
Jace was rambling. Magnus couldn't help but smile a little at that. That was very untypical for the blonde. It must really make him nervous, to want to ask Raphael and Simon for this. There was a warm feeling in the pit of Magnus' stomach, a sense of pride that Jace was confiding this in him.
"I can not speak for either of them," Magnus was careful in choosing his words. "But I do know that they both care deeply for you. They were so worried, when we were waiting for Catarina's verdict on your condition. I think that you should ask them. If this is something that would make either of them uncomfortable, then they will tell you so, and they won't hold it against you that you asked. There is no harm in asking, and giving them the choice."
Jace was half turned toward him, looking at him curiously. "Thank you, for listening. And helping."
Magnus offered him a pleased smile in return. This was important to him too, after all. Having a good relationship with Alec's parabatai had been important to him for a long time now, and along the way, Jace had become important to him, even if Jace was still struggling with the concept.
/break\
Raphael knew that Simon thought he had all the answers, because he had an easier time finding the right words. That was due to decades of diplomacy and it didn't change how anxious and stressed he felt either. He'd been just as worried as Simon and he had also not been happy when Jace sent them away, even though he understood why. Raphael's instincts still had screamed at him to stay, to scoop his omega up and hold him and not leave him out of sight until Jace was feeling well again.
"Raphael?" Salvador's voice was gentle. "You still with us?"
Blinking, Raphael looked up at the others in the room. Even tough Jace had sent them home, Raphael had every intention of returning to the loft until Jace was better, even if that would mean him and Simon had to sleep in a guest room, he didn't care, he needed to be close to his omega. They both did, he could tell by the tenseness in Simon. So, after a quick shower and feeding, Raphael and Simon had called upon the inner circle for a bit of householding. Lily, Raphael's second-in-command, Salvador Salazar, third in command, and Timothy Jeong, head of security. To ensure the Dumort would be running and the clan would be organized even if Raphael and Simon left for a couple of days. A week, was what Raphael estimated, just to be on the safe side.
"Sorry," Raphael cleared his throat. "My thoughts… wandered."
"To your not-present-bae?" Timothy smirked at him.
"As the present bae, same," Simon heaved a sigh and leaned against Raphael, grabbing his hand to link their fingers. "I just wanna be with Jace to make sure he's safe."
"How about," Lily heaved a sigh. "You two get out of here then? We got this."
/break\
He'd texted Simon and Raphael and they had been back at the loft in record time, both their eyes so intense as they checked how he was doing, if he looked better or worse. It was comforting and unsettling at the same time. Magnus and Alec were sitting on the couch, pretending not to pay any attention to them, but Jace was aware they were watching closely. Watching… out for him.
"I…" Jace trailed off and turned around toward his room.
He walked into his room and toward the closet because showing seemed so much better and easier than using his words. Words were hard, and finding the right ones was such a struggle. Asking for something, for comfort, was still something terrifying. Part of him still couldn't shake the memory of his father's disgust and punishments when Jace was being 'weak'.
"Jace?" Raphael asked, voice gentle. "What is it? You… called us here."
Jace started fidgeting with his stele. "I just. I was… I know you don't… and it wouldn't…"
"Jace, sentences," Simon requested with a confused frown.
A huff escaped Jace at that. He wanted them with him, but he also didn't want them here to see him so weak and pathetic. All the progress he might have made lately, but he still felt like that little boy who first presented as an omega and got the beating of a lifetime from his father for it.
"I'm not good with this… feelings stuff. And asking for… things…"
"Yeah, yeah, we can tell," Simon raised one eyebrow though he also approached Jace to take his hands in a reassuring manner. "C'mon. Tell us what it is. Raph and I got your back."
They did, but Raphael had also made clear that he wasn't interested in sex and if this was a 'very horny' thing – Jace was still struggling with that and how true it was – would that make him uncomfortable then? The last thing Jace wanted was to push him too far.
"I wanted to ask if you…" Jace looked away from them, looked at the closet instead. "Would you… spend my heat with me? Just, be here with me, not… sex. We only just started dating and I want to do this right, this shouldn't be like my one-night-stands and you don't even do sex, Raph, I-"
"Slow down," Raphael interrupted him, gently cupping his face. "Breath and then tell us what you actually want from us. You don't want sex. Okay. But what are you asking for?"
Jace nuzzled into Raphael's hands, closing his eyes and taking a deep, calming breath. "I want you here, with me. I'm… I'm afraid of this…" Jace choked on that word, feeling like throwing up at admitting that. "Valentine told me nightmare stories about this, about what it's like to be an omega and what a heat is and… and… that was a big part of why I kept being on suppressants even after his death, because I was afraid of it. And Phoebe, when she came by to bring me the stuff for the nest, she also… she explained what a heat's really like, and I want to believe her, but I… can still hear my father's voice and I'm… I don't want to be alone and you make me… feel safe…"
His stomach was turning and his head was buzzing, not from the whole heat sickness thing, but from having to admit this. A Wayland wasn't afraid. But then he wasn't a Wayland, was he? Arms wrapped around him and pulled him against a strong chest and there was the scent of licorice and cherries all around him, making him relax into Raphael's arms, taking soothing breaths. Simon attached himself to Jace from behind like a clingy monkey, arms around Jace's waist.
"Thank you," Simon's voice was muffled by Jace's back. "For telling us that. I don't know what Valentine taught you – I don't think I could stomach it, to be honest – but we are here for you, we'll be here for you to fight that, okay? To see him proven wrong."
"When you sent us back to Dumort, we talked to Lily and the others, to make sure the hotel and the clan are taken care of without us, because we had every intention of staying at Magnus' during your heat, even if we'll stay in a guest room, we… want to be close-by, to you. As close as you'll allow us, angelito," Raphael whispered, pressing a kiss to the top of Jace's head. "Is that good?"
Jace nodded against Raphael's chest, taking an easier breath. Asking for this had stressed him so much, he was still getting used to asking for help or comfort. His fingers clung to Raphael's shirt.
"I don't want to have sex. I'm not… that's… Not just because we only just got together, but because that's the thing that always made heats sound… scary," Jace whispered, knowing his voice was as soft and frail as if he was that little boy again. "I just… I need you to hear me on that, now."
"Okay," Simon sounded confused. "Really getting scared of what that man taught you, but… heard. No sex. Just… comfort? Holding you, making sure you're safe, is that okay?"
Jace nodded sharply at that. Omegas were mindless, reduced to basic instincts, beyond consent, that's what he'd been taught, what he had always feared. That was why he needed them to hear him now when he told them in certain terms he didn't want to have sex, because a part of him still feared that he'd be overtaken and just lose control during his heat, even if Phoebe assured him it was different, that reassurance was too little compared with the years of teachings.
"I… This makes me feel weak and vulnerable and… defenseless. I'm never defenseless, I'm… I'm a fighter, I fight, this isn't something I can fight and that's… scary," Jace sighed. "I want you here, with me, making sure… nothing happens. I know that's asking a lot…"
"It's not," Raphael interrupted him, pressing another kiss to his head. "Like I said, we want to stay here to be there for you. We can take a guest room, if you are concerned about intimacy, or we can stay in your room, whatever you want, okay?"
"I want you in my nest with me," Jace peeked out. "Can I… show you?"
They both nodded sharply, seeming a little eager. Jace opened the closet door, motioning inside. There was a mattress on the floor now, covered with fluffy, comfortable blankets and pillows, setting up soft walls all around it, decorated with feathers from Jace, Alec, Izzy and Clary – Alec had gone to fetch loose feathers from the others for him.
"I don't know if it's… good, but it's the first nest I ever built," Jace whispered unsure.
"I don't know anything about nests, but it looks perfect to me," Simon grinned, kissing his cheek.
Of course he'd say that. Jace glanced at his alphas, feeling warm at their support.
Author's note: Isn't it GREAT that we are on chapter 12 of this 7 chapter long fic that fully ran away from me? xD
Jace's nest! Next up, Jace's heat, which is gonna feature some Valentine-induced angst and Saphael-related comforts ;D