Chapter 15: Aftermath

Kold's POV

It's been two days after the USJ attack and I haven't been the same ever since that incident. I forgot to summon the units for 2 days because I still haven't had the guts to face any of them as of the moment. Meals are also becoming tasteless and unappetizing, I know that Jarren and I haven't had much of a bond but the thought of just them dying, leaves a bitter taste in my mouth.

A sudden knock resounded from the main door, and it made me turn to the source of the sound. 'Who is knocking at my door at this time of day?' to be perfectly honest, I don't have an idea as to what time it is, but I do know that it's late in the afternoon. "Who is there?"

"Oh! Umm… are you okay? It's been two days and we were discussing things in the group chat but you haven't seen the conversation. I also left a message that I will come stop by around 4 to check on you" Midoriya said, with a worried look on his face.

"… Yeah, I'm alright. No need to worry…" I replied with little to no energy at all. I tried to be cheerful or act like myself but there is nothing I could do. Every day feels like that I'm still tired from everything.

"The look in your face and smell says otherwise!" someone said from behind Midoriya, and I tried to take a peek and it was Bakuguo.

"Bakuguo… you're also here… why?" I said shortly, clearly confused as to why these two are in here of all people. I mean, they don't get along quite well, and we three don't interact much at all.

"Don't go thinking that I care about you fucker. Thank my mom for it because she said 'she hasn't heard from your mom for a long time' and sent me here to check on you" he replied with a foul mouth and attitude in his voice.

'I know I don't like Bakuguo's personality, but he sometimes comes through when it involves his mother' I thought and looked at Midoriya silently asking his reason for visiting.

"Mom also said the same thing, and she was kind of worried that you were feeling down or something after the USJ" he replied with a worried face, and is that also shyness I hear from him. Is it because Bakuguo is here or… 'Well it doesn't bother me at all…'

"How about you guys come in and have some snacks, lucky for you guys that I've made early dinner," I said let them into my house and prepared a plate for their snacks.

I grabbed chips and two glasses of orange juice, to hand to the two unexpected visitors. "This place looks shit! When was the last time you cleaned this place up?" Bakuguo said looking at the place with disgust in his eyes.

"I don't know… I don't really have the energy to get up and clean" I replied sitting down on the table where they also sat down and made themselves comfortable.

"So, how is your mother? Mom was worried about her, she hasn't been in touch for quite a while, and she is kind of freaking out" Midoriya asked and I was expecting this question for a long time now. Specifically during that 10 months of training.

"She is on vacation; she said that she was meeting my father and catch up for some time and she hasn't really said when she'll come back" I replied grabbing a chip and it still taste bland, but I still need to keep an appearance that I was doing okay especially in the eating department, even though the place looks like a storm hit the house.

"You've never met your father, haven't you? Why aren't you on this vacation?" Bakuguo asked looking disgusted at the state at my home. 'I know that it's dirty, but it's not that filthy' I thought grumbling at the face of Bakuguo.

"They promised to be back in no time, and besides I have school to attend to. UA is not a walk-in-the-park kind of school" I replied, still trying to put food in my mouth for appearance's sake.

"Uhuh… you say that like I'll believe you, but I don't particularly care what you do, you don't obviously care what I do too," Bakuguo said ending the conversation with a bit of awkwardness in present. His last comment was really something, and I can't help but feel guilty because of it...

"So… what have you been doing during these last 2 days, and did you know that the school has given us 4 days off?" Midoriya asked, changing the flow of the conversation into a much more lightly topic.

"You could say that I am taking a break from training and getting myself together" I replied with a forced smile on my face, hoping that they could let it slide. I know that I am not really a happy person, but I do know how to smile once in a while.

"Why?! I mean, the sports festival is right around the corner and you haven't been training?" he asked surprised that I let this opportunity to train go to waste.

"That's just it, I've been training at UA and home for the last few months, and I need to recharge quite a bit. I don't really have an endless supply of energy, so I rather think of this as vacation training" I replied with a smirk on my face, hiding the fact that I am not comfortable with my units as of the moment.

I know that they are going to be pissed if I summon them, but I don't really have the guts to face them at the moment. I know it's a coward's way out, but sometimes I can't just deal with these kinds of things and I just let it all unfold itself whether I like it or not. Besides, I always know myself as a coward when it comes to my problems.

"… How are you Kold? You know, after the fight at the USJ things happened to all of us. So, how are you holding up?" Midroiya asked, now I know why these two are here. They are both clearly worried, although it was kind of out of character from Bakuguo, so, I'll give him the benefit of the doubt that he is not here for that and just to fulfill his mother's request. That sounds about right regarding Bakuguo's personality.

"I'm doing fine Midoriya" I replied shortly but I heard a snort came from the blonde-haired dude in the room.

"You call this fine, then I'm fucking blind," Bakuguo said in anger.

"I know the looks of my house is not up to standards, and to some extent I, myself is also not up to par but it doesn't sum that I'm not feeling good" I replied reasoning to the both of them, although if you consult a shrink they would say otherwise.

"Yeah, keep telling yourself that. Also, I'm out of here, you clearly aren't going to say what your deal is, but who am I to care. See ya, loser…" Bakuguo said letting himself out of the house with his arms in his pockets. I can't see his face, but I could tell that he has a scowl on display.

"I better head out too, and know that I and mom are here for you whenever you need. Just ask" Midoriya also left, albeit not following Bakuguo. 'He does have a point… there was no need for me to just keep this all in, but I can't just let it out to people that someone was killed because of me'

I nodded at what he said and followed him out of the house. As soon as the green-haired boy was out I gently closed the door and locked it. There is no way in hell; I will be letting anyone in at this moment. Talking to those two drained the last of my energy, and I am not about to waste it on convincing other people that I'm fine.

Though, I never expected those two to not be on each other's throats like any other day. They both behaved like awkward friends who have a bad history with each other. Don't really know the reason behind that but I am not complaining they create a perfect duo if both of them just get along with one another. "And here I am talking like they weren't my two best friends back when we were little…"

I'm really pathetic… a coward and a pathetic human being. I distanced myself from the two and they made an effort to at least visit, and ask how I was doing, while here I am wallowing in pity because of my fallen unit. I should be much more civil with the two… it is also after all, partly my fault that our friendship broke apart.

It made me incredibly guilty, but what's done is done. I can't undo what's already happened, but at least it felt nice that they visited me even though I know that they were both forced to come, especially Bakuguo. He really does have a soft spot for her mother behind that messed-up attitude of his.

I might have been dragging this too much, but being ashamed and disappointed in myself is a thing I take too seriously. I know I shouldn't be feeling this in the first place because Cray itself is a place full of power and death is quite common in that place, especially when it comes to the Kagero clan.

'I guess it's time for me to face them…'

"Call, Dragon Dancer Monica…" I mumbled softly throwing the card quite far from me and closed my eyes to brace for something to come.

"AHHH! It's finally time to come out! I've been cooped up for quite a long time, why haven't you been sum-" she spoke, but she stopped herself from speaking upon noticing me. "Are you doing okay Kold?" she asked, with concern laced in her voice.

"If you mean shit as okay then, yes. I'm doing fine… or shitty fine" I replied still bracing for something that may come from her, she does have the tendency to be impulsive.

"Hey… I know the news of Jarren's death is quite a lot to take in, but death is normal. Even in this place, everyone is dying left and right and it's the same with Cray" she said crouching down beside me and trying to give a side hug for comfort.

"That's just the thing… it's my fault he died. It's… because of me…" I said, trying to hold in the tears that were starting to fall from my eyes. I really tried but they kept on coming and it seems like every single tear has a mind of its own.

"Come on… let it all out" Monica said, voice filled with understanding while comforting me with a quite hum. A song resounded from her, and it made my tears fall endlessly. "You have been enduring it all… but it's time you let Jarren's death go…"

The tears still kept coming from my eyes, but at least Monica is here to offer her support. "I can't handle losing someone because of me… first was my mom and now Jarren, what's next? You, Elaine. Or Barcgal? Someone would end up dead if I keep summoning you guys to fight my battles" I never really was a vocal person but I don't know why, but Monica being here quite made me feel somehow relieved.

"How about I tell you the real reason of one of the General rules that the clans agreed on, I think it's time for you to know, what it really meant," she said and that made me immediately look up to her. 'What does she mean, isn't it because they want to know what kind of place this is… at least that's what I think'

"This is prohibited to tell you, but you being like this. I think they would understand where I'm coming from" she said with a sigh. The tears had stopped when I heard her say that, but the trail it left just was enough for me to wipe them out from existence.

"As you know the game Cardfight Vanguard has been around for years, even in the time where quirks were not around. The game was popular, we were popular, and we were satisfied with what we already have. However, quirks started to appear, it tore our satisfaction into greed. It made us jealous, and that jealousy turned into a fight between clans. The Kagero, Royal Paladin, Orale Think Tank, and Nova Grappler clans are in a treaty, in a way we called the pact quadrifoglio. We deemed it necessary to protect each other, under the rule of our Vanguards we were getting by with only little damage." She started the story with a soft voice, opposite of how she usually talks, before it was kind of lusty and sexy but now you can hear her grief and pain from her voice.

"However, other clans started to form their own pact, the Pale Moon, Shadow Paladin, Dark Irregulars, and Spike Brother clans were teaming up to take us down. They were known as asteroids, and in the process both of our pact engaged in a war, and in turn, we paid the price of having the Nova Grappler clan's Vanguard sacrifice itself for us to survive. Perfect Razor was the embodiment of their creation, although we Kagero units tend to be aggressive towards them, we care about them just like the other clans. But because of the loss of Perfect Razor, their clan started to deteriorate like mindless animals. They didn't know whose side they were and attacked both ally and enemy, so we made the ultimate decision to also destroy each of them" she continued looking at a piece of metal in her bracelet.

She directed our attention towards a piece of metal wrapped in her arm. "This piece of metal once belonged to Battle Razor, a Grade 0 unit with a stand trigger and he was the very definition of joy. Everywhere he goes, he finds joy in everything, and I was the one who killed him in the war. I had no choice, so I left a piece of that joyful unit in my person to always remind me of his happiness"

"But what does that have to do with the 2nd General Rule?" I asked now curious as to how this comes along together.

"As you know because of quirks our popularity clearly diminished, because of it we started to lose other units part of the clan. My lover, Aleph was also one of those units who perished, and do you know how we units perish?" she asked looking up to the ceiling like it was the most interesting thing on the planet.

"How…?" I asked softly not really liking where this is going.

"Humans started to forget… Cray is created through imagination, and because of imagination we exist, and without it… we are nothing. When humans forgot us, they lose the ability to imagine us and thus making all of us pass away. We were lucky that your mother and her husband treasured their Vanguard cards, and it was because of them we still exist albeit in small quantity. We made that rule to instill in ourselves and in your mind, up to the point of your subconsciousness, to never ever forget our existence. It might be underhanded of us to use you like this but it is the only way for us to survive… and I know-" she started to explain but I heard quite enough from her.

"Retire Dragon Dancer Monica!" I yelled in anger cutting her off… The very people I thought I could trust were using me for their own personal gain. They weren't here for me, but to use me so that they could still live. I can't take it anymore, mom's kidnapper is a manipulating smartass, and now the units I thought that I could lean on are doing the same…

It never occurred to me that they could do such a thing to me, if they were upfront about it in the very beginning I might have already moved on and accepted it. This, now… I thought they just wanted to be with me, to spend time with me, but it turns out they were instilling themselves to ensure their own survival. 'I just need time to process this all… they used me… and that was not right. I need some time for my thoughts to settle'

It was another sleepless night due to what the units had done to me, I know they want to survive but manipulating me to do their bidding was not the right way to put it. The night pass and I were still staring at the ceiling, there was nothing left for me to do. Mom is clearly not coming back anytime because of that damn kidnapper, the units whom I consider friends were using me, and I was the very reason someone died, their blood is on my hands and it didn't sit right with me.

The morning had come, and I was still staring up the ceiling, my stomach grumbled but the food didn't taste appetizing at the moment. I tried cleaning but I easily got tired just from the little garbage I disposed of. My sight was turning black and white, it was like life has been made monochromatic, the place I found quite stunning was now in two plain colors.

I tried to think positively and tried to think of ways to improve my mood but I was just lying to myself. I was not even sure anymore if I could go to school at this rate. I didn't have the face to show and I'm afraid that school may either help me cope or the place I could lose control and be impulsive.

I felt like I was walking on thin ice and with one misstep I could lose myself in a snap. However, who am I to say done, there was still my mother waiting for me to succeed and get her out from that kidnapper's clutch, and what Monica said to me, I thought why not also do the same to them. It's only fitting. I could just think that I was using them for my own gain, and pretend that the bonds we've made are nothing. That I was just faking, till I break it. Then again, that's just lying to myself all over again. Besides, I'm not that cruel to others and to myself, I may act indifferent but I mean no harm.

"Call… Dragon Dancer Monica, Ygdrasil Maiden Elaine, and Lozenge Magus" I said tossing 3 cards, and bracing myself if they wanted to push and hug me till my daylights are out.

"Good Morning… summoner," Elaine said with her stoic face in place and hovering above the ground just like what she always does.

"How are you Kold! You've never called me for quite a long time? How I've missed you!" Lozenge screamed launching herself into me for a hug, and may also be squishing me with her huge assets, which I didn't particularly enjoy.

"Stop that Lozenge, I'm gonna die from suffocation if you don't stop," I said trying to get her off me, and forcing her back from my personal space with a frown on my face. 'Sometimes she is just too much for me'

"Y-yeah… Morning Kold…" Monica said with a shy gaze and demeanor present from her form. I know that what occurred last night was a big blow to our relationship, but it does not mean that I can't get along with them.

"I know that what we talked about last night was pretty dark, and it was quite shocking to hear, but I am willing to put these behind us if you all come clean and admit what the clans are planning for me," I said with a serious tone lacing my voice. I pretty much mean business here. It doesn't matter what the reason is, but I just need them to be honest so that I know what I'm getting myself into. "I just want you guys to be honest, and if you keep beating around the bush like what have you been doing then I can't help but feel betrayed and manipulated"

"W-what!? Monica! You told him!" Lozenge screamed at the top of her lungs.

"I k-kind of did… he was suffering and I can't bear to see him that miserable, so I decided to come clean" she explained while rubbing one of her arms with the other, indicating that she was shy about what she did.

"I understand where you're coming from Ms. Monica, but if the Vanguards know about this, what do you think will happen?" Elaine said, joining the conversation of the three.

"What do you mean by that exactly?" I asked, holding my hand out momentarily stopping their conversation to enlighten my question.

"You know… they made the rules and we were not supposed to talk about it when the time was right, so there is a chance that they will punish us," Monica said, but then Lozenge came in and smacked Monica in the head hard, with a fan that I didn't know that she had.

The both of them were fighting now, verbally, while Elaine was the acting judge of the two. "Okay, that's enough!" I yelled stopping all of their squabblings. I heard quite enough from them already.

"How about I call one of the Grade 3s so that they can enlighten me on this?" I asked, but honestly, I wasn't asking for their permission so I had gone ahead and searched for a Grade 3 card from the Royal Paladin because they are the most peaceful unit I have met and I doubt the other 2 clans are compromising.

Before the three of them could stop me I started to chant, "See the King as he once was… Call! Alfred, Early!" I chanted but before I could toss it, a golden light had blinded me and I could just let the card go and stumbled back and into the floor rubbing my eyes from the intense light.

"It's glad that you finally summoned me, my Vanguard" Alfred came and had kneeled in front of me. 'Okay… this is weird…'

"… Got it… thanks for responding to my call…" I said while sudden light-headedness attacked me. It kind of made me drowsy and see double. 'Okay… staying up all night and summoning 4 units in a short amount of time is not a good idea. Happy that I'm still alive and well though' I thought before blacking out.

I think, some time had passed and I opened my eyes stirring awake, and then notice that the other 3 Grade 0 units that I had just summoned were gone. I took the hand that was offered for me to stand and I took it without a second thought, slightly holding my head in pain.

"Arghh… What happened?" I asked the unit that just helped me, still wincing in pain. 'I really need to get better at summoning units' I scolded myself for doing this, but at least I didn't get over fatigued to the point of not waking up in days.

"My Vanguard, you have fainted for a long time. Though it is nice to see you awake" A low tone and smooth voice echoed in my ear.

I quickly turned my head to the source of the voice and witnessed a smiling Alfred Early without his helmet on. "What?! Alfred, why are you still here?" I asked, but didn't my quirk had a time limit or something.

"Judging by your confused façade, you are thinking as to how I am still summoned, when I already have reached my time here on earth?" he asked clearing the confusion and it sometimes amazes me that units can easily tell what I am thinking based on my face only. 'Do they secretly have mind-reading abilities?'

"Y-yeah… that's just it, why is that?" I asked clearly taken aback by this strange predicament. I need things to be set in order, with no surprises after surprises. I just want someone to lay it on me in one go. Though, it might not be good… too much information could overload my brain.

"About that, My Vanguard, that is just the restriction that we purposely told the other units to not overload you. We deem it necessary because as of the moment you still aren't in an optimum shape to summon us all the time. So, to prevent your body from experiencing shock, we took the liberty of not informing you of this and just let the units know, it also increases their discipline in controlling themselves" Alfred said, and it all made sense… they were just looking out for my well being. Although I'm still salty about the 2nd General rule, I think if Alfred explains their side of the story I might reconsider forgiving them for their actions.

"So, you mean to say that I have the ability to summon any unit indefinitely as long as I have the energy to keep them here?" I said emphasizing my point because that would have been a game-changer if I had known.

Think about it, I would not have to exercise at all because as long as 1 of them is summoned it was like working out all the time. Thus, making me fit without putting too much work into it, a lazy way of working out would be a lifestyle I must have.

"I know what you are thinking, a lazy workout I presume? That may be a convenient way of training, but do remember that what good is a workout if you don't put the effort in yourself." He said, with a smirk on his face, it was like he is begging me to say that my methods are the easy way out.

"Okay… got it, I'll stick to my usual way of training. With that done, let's proceed to the issue of using me?" I asked challenging the unit to a harmless stare-off. Which, by the way, he gladly complied and he didn't falter at all.

"I know what you're getting to; precisely we don't have the excuse of the matter. It has to be done no matter what for the sake of my companions and my survival. You could hate us, or even resent us, but I stand proud of what I had done for my fellow units. We lost too much, and I can't let their sacrifices be in vain" Alfred said in full confidence, you can definitely tell that he is a leader that chooses the life of his comrades rather than feelings.

'I kind of get where they are coming at… and it was really bad for them to use me like that, but in the end. I still have badass units at my beck and call. So, it's a win-win deal. Besides, all I wanted from them is honesty, and that's all I asked and Alfred gladly gave that to me. So, there is no reason for me to be upset about this' I thought to myself, now that I really know what they are up to.

"Also, in regards to Jarren's death, you already have mourned quite enough. It's time for you to let him pass and be rid of your guilt. We units are already pleased to have you as our Vanguard, and there is no greater pleasure than protecting your life" Alfred continued with a soft look on his face. He knows the burden of what life is, he has it in his hands every single day but he didn't get that plague his mind, instead, he thought of what he had done for the rest that was still alive, and maybe I should do the same.

It was thanks to Jarren that I avoided a major injury, and it was his sacrifice that helped me live another day. So, instead, I should have been grateful to him, mourning with the memories that it is because of him, I had the opportunity to see another sun. It may be my fault that he is dead, but it is because of him that his friends get to see another day through me. It may not all be sunshine and rainbow, but there is, without a doubt a light at the very end of a tunnel.

It's been some time that passed after my talk with Alfred and something really lifted my spirits during that talk. It was like he knows what I'm going through and he knows that I needed to hear that from him. I'm quite grateful for him, but I guess now I can safely say that I am worthy of summoning the other grade 3 units of the Royal Paladin clan and I can't wait to test them out on the battlefield.

However, before anything else I need to start cleaning up this place, but before that, I heaved out a tired sigh. I am tired of all that happens and also summoning a total of 4 units. Quite an achievement if you asked me, but it does prove the fact that I still need to improve my body, not my quirk but my physical body. I need to speed things up a little if I want to summon powerful units, I can't afford to lose another life because I'm not optimum enough. Once is enough, and I'll make sure that it stays that way.

With that newfound determination, I lay back into my bed and let my tired eyes take me to sleep. I need to wake up early tomorrow and start training again, but with a little twist.

Morning came running, and it made me excited for some unknown reason but what I do know is that I can finally summon without any repercussion. During the last two days, that I haven't summoned any unit because my mind was constantly on the verge of breaking down, I didn't have the focus to summon anyone, and when it finally came time for me to confront a unit. I thought summoning someone would be the key for me to accept what happened and that's why I could summon Monica, albeit hard but I still managed.

Then what she said bothered me to no end, and in turn, forced me to summon the three units I summoned for the very first time of training because I think they are the sanest individual to carry out that kind of talk. Instead, I was forced to summon a Grade 3, a unit I didn't imagine I could summon up until that moment. However, he had another surprised that was in store, apparently, I am able to summon units for a long period of time, just as long I am still awake, which by the way would have really helped in the long run.

'That was a lot to take in one single day... Glad that it was over and done with ...'

However, today is another day and that means that I need to face another day, but the difference now is that I know that my units are my protector, as well as my friends. They may have made a mistake in the past, but it doesn't mean I can't give them another chance, and I know I don't really trust them because of that incident but what I do know is that they won't waste this chance of proving themselves once again.

"I guess it's time for me to clean this place up, and school restarts tomorrow. Better get ready for that," I said to myself with determination. I may not be the happy-go-lucky type but I do enjoy this kind of thing once in a while. "Call Monica, Elaine and Lozenge"

I summoned the three women in my place to help me clean up, besides they owe me this much for not really being honest to me in the first place. "This place really stinks!" Lozenge said pinching her nose from the smell.

"That's it, if you called us just to clean then I am going –"Monica said in slight anger, but I didn't care about the matter.

"That's exactly what I've called you here, except we four are going to clean this place up!" I cut her off and that made her stop talking and faces me with an annoyed look on her face.

"There is nothing to be mad about this Monica, summoner said we should help him then we should. After all, he deserves some help after what he had gone through" Elaine said agreeing with me, while grabbing a clip and put it in her nose to keep her from smelling the place.

"Yeah… this much isn't such trouble… Dear, Monica" I said with a very sexy voice I could muster, and that made her blush immediately. 'Looks like someone can't handle when they flirt back at them…' I thought laughing at her face being all shy and all.

But the other two are a different story because they were staring at me like I grew a second head. "What's wrong?" I asked the other two.

"It's just that… we've never seen you laugh like that" Lozenge said, looking at me with wide eyes. While Elaine was staring with the same stoic face, just like any other expression she expresses.

"Well… I was deep in thought last night, and then it hit me. Even if my mother is still out there with a kidnapper, it doesn't mean that I have to change how I am. In fact, I don't even know how to act with her gone" I said to the three with my head down, and my hair covering my face.

'It is true though… I didn't really know how I should react to the news. At first, I was mad, but with her gone… it somehow made me quite free. I always identified myself as a distant individual, not caring to interact with others because it just felt right. But now, it feels like it was time for me to change my attitude and perspective… and maybe it's time to seek help for my mother.