Chapter 20: Back when we were still kids (2)
Katsuki's POV
I can't believe I'm an idiot for staring at coward's face like that. Back when we were still kids I couldn't help myself from wanting to see his sleeping face when he rested. He had a soft look on his face when he slept, and it made me somewhat happy seeing him peacefully sleeping like that. It was because of Deku that I made the first move of befriending that coward, and when we started to hang, I could say I enjoyed his company.
Back when we were kids, his touch was foreign to me and it made me mad seeing that he was treating Deku the same way he did to me. I should be the only special person in his eyes that quirkless Deku can't compare to my quirk and strength. So, when I noticed that Kold was avoiding me and being close with Deku, it made me mad.
'How come Deku get's treated special when I am the one with power. I am the one with strength that's incomparable to others'. I tried to look back at the walking figure of Kold, and just seeing him makes me angry… He treats Deku like they were still friends, especially during the rescue training, so why does he treat me differently?
That scumbag of a Lizard said that it was my fault alone that drove Kold away. How it was my damn fault? He chose to run away from me, and he chose another path when we could be unbeatable together.
I grit my teeth in anger, while clenching both my hands in to fists in my pockets. I'll prove to him that I am so much better than Deku… and I will prove to those damn units of his that he doesn't want them anymore because he has me. I am the only one that Kold's need to protect him. I'll also prove to that worthless nerd that he isn't so special to get treated by Kold like they were still friends.
*FLASHBACK*
It was another day of the Nursery that when some of our teacher introduced one of the new classmates we have this year. All I got from him was that his name is Kold, a weird name because it was supposed to be 'cold' and he preferred for everyone to call him Kold, rather than his last name. It was also weird in some sense, because it also sounded foreign.
I look to my side and notice that Izuku was watching the boy with a look that said 'I want him to be my friend' and being the one that often leads at times, I decided that it was my duty to claim this new kid as part of our group. I dragged him towards our seats and for some reason my hands were not allowing to let his go. It fit right in with his, warm hands… and it felt nice for some reason. Upon realizing that my hands are naturally sweaty I apologized at him and he didn't seem to mind one bit so I opted to hold his hands some more.
Gentle touch was really scarce in my family, and when I felt in with Kold's hands I can't help but feel to keep that feeling for myself. We tried to talk about All Might, and to my surprise Kold wasn't even aware of his existence, so I and Izuku had made it our priority to introduce him to the very top hero in the world.
After sometime the teacher's said it was for our nap time, like it does even exist in the first place. "Everyone gather your pillows and find a nice comfortable place to rest, so that, you'll become bigger and stronger" the teacher said and that was the only thing that convinced me to do what she said.
I noticed that Kold was having a hard time looking for a place to rest, so I called him over to our side and made him place his pillow to wherever he was comfortable. However, he chose at the very corner, which made me confused because it was a weird choice. It didn't really bother me because I took the spot next to him, and Izuku was also beside me.
I look over at my side and notice that Kold was shaking, and I thought he was scared so I offer my hand to him again and he accepted it reluctantly. I felt that he scooted a little closer to me and I didn't mind it because it felt good that someone was depending on me like this.
The teacher turned the lights off and after sometime… it made me fall asleep.
5 months after…
"Katsuki, what would you think if we invite Kold and Izuku to our house for a sleep over. How does that sound?" mom asked with a gentle voice, which I knew that she has something planned to herself.
"Yeah… I don't mind, actually that would be great!" I said in glee thinking about Kold visiting my house again and us three hanging out again would be awesome.
"Okay then, I'll call them to come over, and I expect you to behave like always" she replied with a smirking smile on his face. 'Now I definitely know that she has something planned'.
I know it was wrong to eavesdrop but I did, because I was curious as to what exactly mom was planning. "Hey Rasu, Katsuki agreed just like you said, so is our plan set in motion?" she asked, what I think is Kold's mom.
"I still don't understand what you're doing but please… be careful and make sure that both you and Kold are doing well. I couldn't help but notice that Katsuki is quite attached to Kold, and I hate to see him miserable when things will change between them" mom said in worry… so, there really are planning something behind our back.
"Honey! I'm heading out" dad yelled and mom yelled back an okay, so I decided to head back to my room before she notice that I was eavesdropping with her call.
Before their arrival I arranged my room for a bit, making sure that Kold will see how clean my room is. The computer that we often use is from across the room so, I also made sure to clean that place up a little.
Upon their arrival I greeted them with a smile on my face, and quickly Izuku was heading to the computer room to let Kold witness another one of All Might's biggest achievement in his life. It was All Might saving the people from a burning building which made me and Izuku admire him much more. 'We three are going to be the best of the best when we grow up…'
"Let's watch it again!" Izuku said exclaiming how it was so cool and smiling at Kold's way, and it made me feel threatened somehow. I quickly snatched Kold's hand on my own and held it tightly… It was like I was afraid of him leaving me somehow.
The call with Auntie Rasu and mom was coming back to me. 'Why does it seem that aunt Rasu and mom has been hiding something from me?' I didn't really understand their conversation, but with Kold holding my hand now. It feels like everything is alright and nothing will go wrong at all.
A year later…
I finally have a quirk, and it is 'Explosion' which is both flashy and powerful, with this quirk we are going to be the best heroes there is.
"Your quirk is so awesome Kacchan, you're so lucky!" Izuku said complementing me with my new found quirk, which is awesome, I bet no one, can beat me with a quirk like mine.
"Yeah… he's right, you're going to be so awesome than All Might if you keep training with it!" I heard Kold complimenting me, and I felt giddy all through my body. Hearing him praise me, combined with his utmost attention, it really made me happy and smile for some unknown reason. Just knowing that he is looking at me, and praising me, it sent shivers down every being of my body. 'This is the best day ever!'
"You think so Kold!?" I asked with wide eyes, and I can feel that he genuinely meant what he said. 'Someday… we both are going to be together… fighting, saving people, and laughing together like we're only the two people on Earth'
The image of us being together laughing, eating, and waking up next to each other came into mind. It made me blush just thinking about it, 'I can't wait to grow up!' that was the only thing on my mind, and how I could get more attention from him using my quirk.
"Then someday, I will become the world's greatest hero and with you two by my side we are going to be the best three the world has ever seen!" I said in full confidence. 'I promise you Kold… I am going to be the best hero you'll ever see.'
"But isn't it Kold's dream to be a doctor?" Izuku asked confused as to what I had just proclaimed.
"What are you saying Izuku, Kold is never going to be a doctor because he is going to be with us! We three are going to be the best known hero in the world, and no one can stop us from reaching that goal" I said tilting my head, looking at them that it was the most ridiculous idea of all. The image of him being a doctor and not by my side beating villains, it made me mad. 'I can't let that happen!'
"… Yeah, Izuku… I'm not going to be a doctor anymore, being a hero is much… fun" I heard him say to Izuku, and that made me somewhat relieved because my dreams for us three are not a fantasy, because I am going to make it a reality.
"T-that's right! We three are going to be the best, and become as strong as All Might" Izuku agreed, but I can hear a slight tremble in his voice… and I didn't like it one bit. Him and Kold are plotting something together, I notice how Kold's eyes were silently communicating with Izuku… and it made me mad at Izuku. 'Kold's attention should only be at me… no one else's!'
Our teacher's led us to another discussion, but my mind is filled with things much more important than school. The training I could do, the things that we three could possibly achieve, and having keeping Kold at my side at all times. So, many things are filling up my mind that I couldn't stop myself from grinning at all the limitless possibilities I could do.
However… all those hopes was nothing but a bunch of nonsense. During a night where I was supposed to be in bed, I decided to disobey my mom and stay up late. I couldn't sleep because I can't wait for tomorrow to come. Me, Izuku and Kold could go explore and have them watch me train my quirk, just the thought of that makes me excited that I couldn't bring myself to sleep.
I stood up from bed and decided to get a glass of milk to help me sleep, but I heard something interesting than what I already planned earlier. "Rasu, what are you saying? Kold has a quirk, but it's still unknown? That might be the dumbest explanation I ever heard in my life, all children can already tell by instincts what their powers are, maybe little Kold is just hiding it"
When mom said Kold has a quirk that was unknown, a sudden rush of pride swelled within me. 'I knew that Kold is something special and I'm gonna find out about it' that was the only thing that made me go back to bed and force myself to sleep. 'I can't wait for morning… I'm gonna make Kold use his quirk. It will definitely be amazing, not awesome than mine, but within the range'
Morning came and I immediately confronted Kold about his quirk, and making the other people in the room look at him in excitement and interest. I didn't mind them and focused on Kold… he has to already know what his quirk is, he is special after all.
"The thing is… my quirk is still unknown so I don't know quite yet what kind of power I have…" Kold said looking all shy about it and it hit something in me.
"Huh!? That can't be right, we automatically know what ours are, you must be a defect!" one of the kids proclaimed, and I look to see that it had hurt Kold being called a defect. I didn't know what to do… he has the look of a terrified cat.
'Does Kold not trust me… is that why he's keeping it a secret from everyone? Doesn't he want me to know…? Am I really not that important for him?' the thought of just Kold not being able to trust me is terrifying.
"No… I'm not…" Kold mumbled out and I could tell he was looking directly at me, but I could say and do anything. So, I stared at him. I couldn't speak anything to him.
As I was about to say something, Izuku had taken that chance away. "Don't worry Kold, you'll eventually know your quirk. When the time comes, you've got to show it to us!" Izuku was comforting Kold with a hug and it made me swell in pure anger.
"… Come on, let's get out of here" I said grabbing Kold's hands in mine and dragged him away from Izuku, who following behind us.
'I'm going to prove to Kold that he can trust me, even though it hurts to think that he keeps secrets from me, because there is no other explanation as to why he can't show us his quirk' I still that warmth in Kold's hands and it brought me a little comfort. It eased my mind a little that he is still holding my hand like any other day.
However, it was proved to not be the only surprise for me. With Kold's quirk and now… Izuku has nothing. He doesn't have a quirk, he was quirkless, and he is much beneath me and Kold. When Kold is describing as defect, Izuku is a Deku. He isn't able to do anything, he's useless and he has no power, and I started to display that to Izuku… no, Deku… he is now Deku, because he keeps spouting nonsense that he could still become a hero. Honestly, it didn't bother me at all because I know for certain that he has no chance in being one, because why could they want Deku when they have me and Kold, the better duo in the world.
One time when I'm leading a bunch of wannabes Kold confronted me. "Katsuki… what you are doing to Izuku isn't right…" he said it to me nervously, and that just made me turn to him with a smirk in full display. I am raising my chin, and staring down at him.
"What isn't right? Izuku is quirkless, he deserves to be called a 'Deku' because of it" I replied still with a smirk in display.
However, hearing Kold defend Deku like this… It made me tremble in anger, and upon looking at him. What I am seeing is not the same Kold from a year ago… it was a different one now. He had chosen that useless Deku without a quirk instead of me. He chose Deku rather than me and it made me seep in anger, he was changing and it was all Deku's fault.
"And you… you are in the same boat as him, a defect and a coward. You say you have a quirk, but you don't know what it is… that's called being a defect" I yelled blowing up my anger on him, but when I realized the weight that I had said, it froze me on my spot.
'How can I say that to him… he isn't a defect… he is special, a special person to me….' I look up and tried to take back what I said, but all I could see from him was nothing. Kold has his head down and I notice little tears falling from his eyes to the ground. It made my heart sting in pain. I wanted to hold his hands to reassure myself that he can forgive me for what I did, but before I could do that… he ran away. He ran away from me, and I bet he was going to Deku for comfort.
I followed him and what I had expected was the truth. He is in Deku's arm crying his heart out to him, and there was Deku comforting and hugging him and the guilt that was eating me up turned into jealousy. It made me mad seeing them hugging like that, and when I remembered that I was the cause of that, sadness is starting to bloom within me. 'I'm starting to lose Kold…' but one thought in my mind had started to occur.
Things had started to change, Kold had joined me less and less, he didn't want to talk to me, and he openly avoided me and had distanced himself from me all together. He didn't want to come to my house for sleepovers, so I decided to not hold sleepovers again when Kold isn't in them. Deku was still joining us in our expedition to the forest that I found near our kindergarten class.
However, one thing that I had noticed… Deku was also still around Kold. They were laghing and talking together, eating and sitting next to each other, and it made me angry seeing them like that. One thought had occurred to me.
'I am losing to a quirkless Deku!' That sadness is starting to change into anger, but not at Kold, it's towards Deku. He is trying to steal Kold from me… He only joined me till this day because he wants me to see that he is still friends with Kold and not me.
During the days that Deku was with me and my new friends, I started to openly call him Deku, and others were joining in on the fun. I flaunted my quirk at them and some other times I 'accidentally' ignited explosion at Deku's way. It was this time I started to let Deku know his place. I called him names, let others hurt him and sometimes I joined too, but mainly I wanted him to feel the hurt that I was feeling. He is stealing Kold from me and it hurts so bad, that I want him to experience it himself.
After all that nothing had change between us three, except for Kold also avoiding Deku at the start of Junior high, and I was slightly happy that he did too, because I don't know if I can handle seeing them touchy-touchy with each other. I'm not usually the jealous type, but when it comes to Kold, it feels like a new side to me altogether, and I hate it that he can do things to me even without doing anything.
I looked back at him again and this time I notice that he was staring at me from a far, and that made me a little happy that he was finally giving me the attention I should have gotten form the very start. During the entrance exam I expected to place top in the practical, but Kold beat me to it and it didn't really bother me at all. I just wanted him to notice me at that moment, and when I called him a coward… it was true, he hide behind his units like they were the only ones who could protect him, when in fact, I am also capable of doing that. He just needs to say the word and I'll be there for him in a heartbeat.
When I met his salamander unit… the thing provoked me that it was my fault that we separated all these years, and that I wasn't capable of protecting him. So, I made that damn lizard fight me, and I beat the crap out of him. This just goes to show that I am much more capable than this other extras he has on him. However, that damn coward just assaulted me and challenged me to a fight, and that was my chance of proving myself to him, that I was strong and that his units aren't capable enough to beat me.
It was all wrong form the beginning, and that coward was hiding a power I didn't even know… and it reminded me again that he doesn't trust me to keep that secret of him. If had the given the chance to beat the information out of him, I would have already done it.
Midoriya's POV
Words cannot express how I long to have been with my two best friends today. If the three of us are still close till this day… what kind of life would I have lived? When both Kacchan and Kold discovered that I was quirkless, everything changed between the three of us. Kold started to hang out less and less, and then there was Kacchan who kept calling me names like it was his new nickname for me. I don't really have any idea as to why our friendship ended. I promised myself and to Kold that we would be friends forever… but look at us now. Kold and Kacchan are fighting, Kacchan keeps on making sure that I was reminded of being quirkles, and there is me and Kold… who I assume was pretty civil with me now after leaving me in the air.
However… I could remember the time when Kold said otherwise…
"Kold… am I fit to become a hero?" I asked with a worry in my voice. I was hesitant to ask this question for the reason that Kold might say I could not because I don't have a quirk.
"What are you saying? Izuku you can become a great hero! No one's fate is set in stone, remember that in the past people don't have heroes in their lives. Heroes were doctors, fireman, policeman and other people that are willing to help people. You don't need to have a quirk to be like them!" he replied in pure honesty and determination… I could even feel it that he believed in me weather I believe in myself or not.
When All Might had given me a quirk I thought it would be the start of something new for me, and maybe even a new start for my best friends, but that was proved to only be wishful thinking because nothing had changed, except for Kacchan being suspicious of me having a quirk, and Kold showing hostility and anger towards others, that is a complete contrast to his attitude when we were young.
I can't really help but miss those times when we three were still smiling like nothing was wrong. It was us three and nothing more. I could still remember the first time I saw Kold crying… he was completely hurt and until now I didn't know why he was crying that day.
*FLASHBACK*
I was about to look for Kacchan and Kold, but someone bumped into me making me fall on my butt. "Ahh… that hurt" I mumbled but before anything I heard soft sniffles from the person who bumped into me. "…Kold… it's you?! Why are you crying?"
"It's nothing…" he replied but I noticed that the tears in his eyes still kept coming even though he said that it was nothing.
"Come on… I don't think it's nothing…" I said, but I think he couldn't hear anything. So, I opted with just a hug, mom always said that when someone is upset, the person all needs a hug. That was why she hugged me during that time.
Kold kept on crying on my shoulders and I could feel tears started to form… '… Why am I crying?' I thought so I thought hugged him tightly and my tears kept on coming.
"Midoriya… what is happening? Why are you both crying? Are you hurt anywhere?" one of our teachers asked, and I turned to look at her.
"Come on… calm down, there is no need to cry. Tell teacher what happened slowly, okay Midoriya?" she asked, crouching down on her knees and is now handling both of us in her arms. "There, there… no need for more tears, teacher is here to protect you…" she said softly, while hushing us to stay quiet and calm.
I didn't know what happened but after that I was starting to feel calm, the tears started to disappear I was starting to feel great. I look at Kold's way and he was also in the same boat as me, except that he was resting now and was breathing slowly.
"What exactly happened to the both of you?" she asked, looking at me for an answer.
"… I don't know… Kold just started crying when he bumped in to me" I replied in pure honesty, it was the only thing I know.
"Okay… how about let's get the other kids to rest up, it's almost nap time" she suggested and I nodded as a response and was quietly snuggling in her arms, just like what Kold is doing.
She gathered my other classmates and they were quietly placing themselves on their respective beds on the floor. Teacher dropped us at our pillows, while Kacchan was avoiding my gaze and was also holding on to Kold tight, like he didn't want to let him go. I decided to also stay next to Kold for warmth but I felt like someone was staring at me. However, I ignored the feeling and grabbed Kold's hands in mine and proceeded to rest.
After the event that happened everything started to change between the three of us. Kacchan was started being mean to me, calling me Deku, while Kold was starting to distance himself from us both. He didn't join us for lunch when Kacchan and I invited him, he started to make excuses to not be part of our group and finally he started to not join any sleepovers. He changed the most out of the three of us, and I was not happy about it.
"Kold… did we do something?" I asked one of my best friends when we were writing characters.
"What do you mean Izuku?" he replied turning his entire form towards my way, and looking confused at me.
"You won't go exploring with us anymore… and you don't join us for lunch no more… Did we do something wrong?" I asked, and I could feel the tears starting to form in my eyes. I tried holding it in, but no matter what I did it kept on rushing.
"… You didn't do anything wrong Izuku… I'm just not being myself…" he gave a small reply and that was it. He turned his attention back to where our teachers were making us write characters.
I look down at my paper filled with words, and I notice that the tears were slowly wetting the paper. I sniffed it out the snot that was trying to come out of my nose and wiped my tears with my arm and continued writing. 'I promise, I'll get the three of us to be best friends again!'
It was the start of Junior high when everything completely changed, but not for the better. Kold was obviously avoiding me now, as well as Kacchan, he deliberately makes it so that we cannot see, hear, or even smell him. It looks like he made it his goal to not see us, but it kind of backfired because we are still in the same class.
However, that didn't stop him from avoiding my gaze and my invitation to hang out. When I start to talk to him you can clearly feel that he wasn't interested, or that he wasn't paying attention to what I was saying. For a better word… it hurt… a lot, all those times when we were kids did that not mean to him anymore.
The times we spent together with Kacchan, were just not important to him now… I think, and it made it hurt enough that he was actively not engaging in activities that involves us. When there are group projects he could go by the other people in class, and when the teacher chooses the groups he made excuses to not be part of me, or even Kacchan's groups.
I was really disappointed, we three were the bestest of friends… and all because of our quirk issues we broke apart. Kold still didn't have any idea what his quirk is, while I am completely blank, and Kacchan were actively using his to show his dominance to our fellow classmates. It wasn't fair at all… one of my friends didn't even bother to notice my existence just because I don't have a quirk. Kacchan was different because he was just being mean, but what Kold is doing hurt much more than the mean things Kacchan say about me.
'Kold… he… he didn't even want to look my way, is it because I am quirkless? Surprisingly, if that is the case, I don't resent him for that… I'm just hurt that he was being cold, and distant. I just want to understand why… why are our friendship disappeared like it was nothing.'
All these thoughts were plaguing my mind every time I see him in class. His silhouette just gave me the feeling of longing; I want us to become friends again. I want three of us to become friends once again. That's all I want… I just want to be happy with them again.
Days and nights I could feel something missing every time I wake and go to bed. It felt like my whole world isn't complete without having to talk, smile, and laugh with them. 'Is it really that abnormal to not have a quirk…?'
I sometimes even imagine what was it like when all three of us developed quirks like any normal children would. Will still be friends by then? Or something would have already changed? However, that is just wistful thinking, because in reality I will never have a quirk, and my dream to become a hero would not come true. The closer I could achieve that dream is to become a doctor, policeman, or even a fire-fighter…
I vaguely remember when Kold told me that I could become a hero in more ways than one… one's quirk could not determine one's future career that's why Kold wanted to be a doctor no matter what his quirk was. He believed that he could achieve that dream even when this entire people say otherwise.
I really admire him for that… he had a perspective uncommon to the people around me have. When people notice a flashy quirk or even a strengthening quirk, they immediately praise them and say that they are hero material. They say they have the capability of being a hero when all they have is a powerful quirk. However, in Kold's perspective… he determines the person's attitude and personality; he emphasizes the feeling rather than the power.
'Where is that Kold now…? Where is the Kold that has conviction and belief that everyone can be whoever they want to be' I asked… but all I know is that I was holding him in a pedestal because he just gave me the answer I want to hear.
If he really meant what he said when we were kids… then he would not be doing this to me. He would still be here with me and Kacchan smiling and laughing like there was no one in the world. 'I just miss him… one day, I just need one day with us three again'
I was really depressed during that time, it made me question Kold and it made me question what he said to me. Heck, even I manage to doubt my determination of wanting the three of them to be my best friends again.
That was until aunt Rasu came to see me specifically. He asked mom to have an alone time with me and she reluctantly agreed.
"Izuku… how are you feeling?" she asked with worry in her voice.
"… I'm fine…" I mumbled out with my head hanging down, which suggest otherwise.
"I'm sure your missing Kold and Katsuki, but I need you to hold on… Please, I need you to hold on, hold on to that belief that Kold, Katsuki and you will become friends again" she said, pleading could be heard from her voice.
"What's the point… they left me because I am quirkless… I am weak, and that they couldn't be friends with someone like me"
"That's not true Izuku… Kold is just, he is lost… he doesn't know what is happening, and he always tries to avoid confrontation and pain. He doesn't want to feel hurt, and what he is going through now is that he is hurt… and he just needs time to accept that pain. So, please… don't give up on him yet" she said, while she held me in her arm and I could feel tears in my head.
Aunt Rasu was crying… she was crying because she believes that we three could still become friends in the future. For some unknown reason, I believe her, and that made me determine to hold on to our friendship. I couldn't give up now… all those times we spent together as kids, is not going down the drain just because of this.
"Alright auntie… I'll never give up hope" I said swelling with new determination that we three are going to be best friends again.
"Thank you Izuku… thank you…"
*FLASHBACK END*
That was how I remembered it. It was because of aunt Rasu that I'm still hoping that we three are going to be friends again. 'With this given quirk of mine… I will succeed no matter what' I thought full of resolve to make things between us three right again. That is all what I really wish for, besides being a hero that is…