On Monday night, Itachi didn't go to bed. Instead once Ouka had finished giving pets to Sakura's head, while cooing and begging for sneezes, Itachi scooped Sakura up and walked her out of the common room and back into the halls of Hogwarts..
She struggled a bit, until he hissed, "My mother requires pictures. This is your own fault."
Oh. Well, ok, maybe a bit confused now. What did pictures entail?
He went to the seventh floor, made several passes, until a door appeared.
A door? Secret room! So cool.
In, they went.
The room had a striking resemblance to the Ravenclaw common room. But instead of blue and bronze, it was scarlet and black. The room almost looked oppressive and dark, if not for the roaring fire and the sofas and armchairs looking far more lush and comfortable than the ones in the tower. The majority of seats were already taken, and the bustling noise of quiet conversations made for a cozy atmosphere that differed greatly from the black looming walls that seemed like a cavern.
Sakura blinked. Kisame was there, sitting in an armchair across from Yahiko who sat on the left side of a sofa. Next to Yahiko was a Slytherin prefect, his arm tossed on both sides of the couch. Next to him, a blue haired female. Hufflepuff prefect. Konan perhaps?
But the room wasn't just full of prefects. Sasori was there, in a discussion with both a white haired Gryffindor and two Slytherins over a coffee table where newspapers were strewn about. The moving images from the Daily Prophet amongst others she hadn't heard of. But it was clear what exactly was being discussed. Politics. War. An impending doom was upon them all.
"You bring the camera?" Itachi asked.
Kisame looked up with a wolfish grin, his smile spread so far that his teeth showed. "I did indeed. I also brought a hat, but it looks too small."
Kisame pulled out an old fashioned camera and a magician hat from under his armchair.
Oh, boy. Kisame had her dad's humor.
Itachi raised a brow. "A hat?"
Immediately, Sakura knew exactly who had familiarity with the muggle world from the ones that laughed. Everyone on the sofa burst into giggles. Kisame had a shit-eating grin. But that was it. The others looked just as confused as Itachi.
"Muggle humor when it comes to rabbits," Kisame provided as he got out of his chair. He left the hat upside down by the foot of his armchair and took the camera with him. "Take a seat, Kakuzu already has the potion for making the pictures. We'll have it in a couple hours."
So old school. All Sakura needed was to grab her phone from upstairs and take a shot. Why did wizards have to make it all so complicated? She was a bit surprised that Kisame wasn't saying much on it, given how much he'd talked about the backwardness of wizards.
Itachi took a seat and Sakura tilted her ears back as he didn't let go.
"Oh come on, Itachi, you look so stiff. Your mom's gonna think we didn't do the potion right. Just act… well not normal, but you know. Interact with the rabbit. I dunno, pet it or something."
Itachi managed to shift her weight so he'd one hand free and gave one long stroke.
"Uh, no. I promised your mom for ten galleons I'd get something good."
Itachi sat her down on his lap and his hands went to the armrest. His nails dug into the sides. "Look, just take the picture, guaranteed anything will do for her."
Sakura looked over Itachi's knee at the hat. She wasn't that big. She'd fit. For sure.
"All I'm saying is—"
She hopped down and into the hat. Flash.
Well, maybe more like crushed the corners of it. She didn't 'quite' fit. Ok, more accurately, she hadn't fit at all. But, it had been a rather small hat, that's all. A child's hat. Probably from a child's magician kit.
Kisame bellowed out a laugh. "A good lie has elements of truth."
Itachi propped a chin on one hand as he leaned over his armrest to look at her.
"You're too big."
Rude! She stood up, forelimbs reaching up to the arm rest. She did her best rabbit glare at the smirk on his face.
He leaned further down as if to boop her nose with his own. Not on her watch.
Flash.
She raspberried.
Flash.
Itachi, of course, started chuckling away at the noise.
She wiggled her way towards the seat and attempted to jump up and onto his leg and lap.
Flash.
She didn't quite make it and he had to pull her up by her armpits.
"You got all that, Kisame?" Konan asked.
Itachi let out a sigh.
"I did indeed. Found yourself quite the cute animagus, Itachi."
"Animagus?" Yahiko asked. "I thought it was his familiar."
"Definitely an animagus," Kisame said, lowering the camera. "Or I know a witch just like her that lives in my neighborhood."
Sakura bolted up. What? What did that mean, 'just like her.' She wasn't anything like this as a human!
Kisame laughed and put the camera down on the table shared by Sasori and his fellows before turning back to Sakura.
"No worries, chubby bunny, I ain't no snitch. Nobody here is either, prefects included of course."
"Really, the giant ass rabbit is a human?" The gryffindor asked.
Mean!
"Yes," Itachi said, "but there is no need for such crass language Hidan."
"Piss off, Itachi. You are such an uppity bitch."
"So you think you know who it is?" Itachi asked, ignoring the white-haired young man glaring at him.
"Pretty obvious," Kisame yawned.
"Really, which one of our classmates do you think?"
Kisame grinned in response. "What makes you think it's one of our classmates?"
"350 words per minute on average and they read all of our textbooks for DA last year. They are currently working on a term paper for magical discipline."
Itachi knew how fast she read. That was… oddly enlightening, last time she got tested before Hogwarts she'd been at 300 words a minute.
"Well my bet is it's not one of our classmates."
"That leaves the majority of this school, odds are too much in your favor," Yahiko said. "Should we start a pool, Kakuzu?"
"Done. Everyone picks a year, 10 galleons in. I'd like nothing more than to take the few coins Kisame just earned."
"Sixth year, just like us," Itachi said without hesitation.
"Seventh year," Konan said. Nagato took the same number as her.
Everyone then began placing their bets, mostly keeping with Itachi, or going one year lower.
"Teacher," Hidan said, "It's a teacher wanting to sit in Itachi's lap. Nothing like a good teacher's pet relationship but in reverse. I'm willing to bet our muggle studies professor is kinky like that."
Itachi glared; Sakura felt warm. Maybe she was spending a bit too much time in Itachi's lap.
Kisame went last. "Fourth year."
Everyone snorted and laughed. Sakura sweated, feet feeling itchy.
"An animagus in fourth year, no way. You are out of your fucking mind," Hidan laughed, smacking the table.
"Not while I'm working," Kakuzu hissed as he poured a potion into a bowl.
"Looking back it was a convenient case of bronchitis," Kisame said. "Too convenient."
"Of what?" Sasori asked.
"She goes to my dojo. She passed off her silence as a medical muggle condition."
"Dojo?"
Kisame rolled his eyes and sighed. "It's like a dueling club, but physical fighting instead of spell fire. She's got a 2 nd degree pooma ."
"Pooma?"
Kisame sighed again, "It's like a ranking system and she's well ahead of me."
Had Kisame really been paying that much attention to her? "Also she's pretty much got a college degree, everyone in the neighborhood knows that. Her dad owns the local grocer and boasts every chance he gets. He's a super chill dude, though." Her dad was talking about her, to every customer!?
"College degree?"
"Higher education, like what you'd do after this place."
"Apprentice? Mastery?"
"Yeah, that."
"I call that a load of bullshit," Hidan said. "That giant ass hare is Professor Anko. She's the one leering at Itachi all the time."
"So what is it? The winner? Let's settle it," Sasori said, pulling out his wand. "My bet is that it's a demon from hell."
Sakura gulped and bolted from Itachi's lap.
She was in her jamjams! Boy shorts, braless, thin t-shirt. It would be the sight of the magcialborns' life with their proper, high class, sheltered existence. Not to mention she still didn't want to get caught.
They didn't have evidence, nothing on her.
Out, she needed out!
And then her prayer was answered. The door to the room appeared right in front of her and when it opened, she bolted out into the hallway and hopped down the stairs taking three at a time before crash landing into a column. She scrambled to her feet and raced down a corridor. It took her all the way to the end to realize no one was chasing her. Breathing a sigh of relief she took a hidden passageway to the Ravenclaw Tower. The best thing about being an animal is she didn't have to answer any riddle at the door. When she entered she sniffed the air and peered about the room. No one. Good.
She sprung into bed that night and curled under the covers. Once she turned human, she sprawled out and attempted to get comfy.
No luck, sleeping as a rabbit was much easier than sleeping as a human. She tossed and turned, heart still thrumming as she realized how close she'd come to getting caught. She didn't want to go to prison. She might trust Itachi, he'd kept quiet thus far, and Kisame, goodness knew the dirt she had on him, but the others were unknown.
The next day she almost fell asleep during lunch. But then she blinked rapidly when she found Sasuke claiming the seat next to her and then Naruto loudly crashed into the place on the other side.
"Good afternoon?" Sakura asked. The expressions on both of their faces were… misplaced to say the least. Naruto's was more normal, in that typically Naruto did have a mischievous look upon him. Sasuke's however, it was a strange sight indeed.
Sasuke pulled a thin square piece of paper from his pocket and slid it to her.
It was a moving picture.
It was a moving picture of her fat bunny bottom, climbing quite happily into Itachi Uchiha's lap and Itachi being quite happy himself about the whole thing, laughing as he pulled her up.
Oh no. They knew.
"I can ex—"
"We need intel, Sakura," Naruto said, leaning in with a whisper.
Wait. "Intel?"
"Yes. And access to the tower to see Bunny-boo."
Oh. Oooh. Ok, she was in the clear. But with that look on Naruto's face. Hell no.
She turned to Sasuke. "What's this about?"
"We just want to see my brother's familiar." Sasuke motioned once more to the bobtail and haunches, taking up most of the frame. Such a bad angle.
"No."
Sasuke and Naruto blinked in surprise, likely from the venom in her tone.
But what if they found out who she was? What if anyone did? She'd be the laughingstock of the school, especially if there were pictures of her fluffy butt floating around! (Not to mention prison.)
"Look," Sakura lowered her voice, "I've heard that Bunny is really shy. That's why no one sees her in the common room. Even if I got you in, you wouldn't see her."
Neither of the boys looked like they bought her story.
Nor would her story work on anyone else.
And Naruto and Sasuke managed to get into the tower just by following Shikamaru through the portrait hole that evening.
The pictures must have circulated everywhere in just a single day. The common room was bustling, mostly with older students on the quidditch teams and female populace. Itachi was a favorite amongst many houses.
Itachi, in his usual armchair trying to write an essay, looked ill amused at the commotion and shot death glares at the Hufflepuff on the couch across the way.
Kisame would smile wickedly back before turning to the crowd around him. And then Sakura noticed exactly what Kisame was doing. He was selling the pictures! The monster.
She weaved through the crowd and up into her dormitory. Well, there'd be no Bunnying tonight or ever. She crashed on her bed, wished for less magic in the air so she could listen to music from her phone, and fell asleep attempting to meditate on the dark spells she'd learned.
Surprisingly, or not, the common room continued to be crowded, even past curfew. Thus, early bed, thus Sakura did incredibly well on her Potions exams. In fact, Neji had questioned whether or not she'd cheated. She hadn't! She just had gotten a good night's sleep.
His response. He was going to start slipping sleeping draught in her pumpkin juice at night.
On Saturday morning, she woke before dawn. She forced herself out of bed and curled up in the window sill and watched the world in twilight. She thought of healing, and sleep, the natural rhythm of the human's cycle. What she wouldn't do for some scientific papers on the topic. Not to mention the ability to read the next chapter of Itachi's book. It was going to cover curses, counters and healing. How was she supposed to read it now?
Sakura's head bolted back, almost slamming into the stones. She bit her lip. Well, she did know where the other copy was.
She threw meditation out the window, metaphorically. She dressed quickly but quietly, pulling on a thick sweater, late October almost November guaranteed the hallways were chilly.
It had been busy last night in the common room, but were people still around? Surely not right? Just in case, she'd slip out of the common room door as a human and then turn into a rabbit in some empty classroom. She'd read the book in the library as an animal, avoid the spell on the book, and then transform back in some other classroom. Solid plan. Heck, once it got light, maybe she'd walk to the corner of the forbidden forest where there was internet reception and call her mom too. She shoved her phone in her pocket. Off she went.
She slipped out the door with ease, eyes peeled for anyone that might be in the room. Nobody. Good. All clear. She gave several loud sniffs, freezing in place after realizing what she'd done. Crap. Well no one had been around to hear it. Or more importantly, question why a human would do that to the air. Thankfully.
Onward, post-haste.
It was fairly easy, once she got to the fourth floor, she found an empty classroom to transform in. And then, to the library!
She flopped her way to the entrance, ears twitching for any sound, but none came. In the library, came the familiar leathery scent of old spines mixed with adolescent B.O. She was in the clear! With ease she squeezed through the grates of the restricted section and came upon the shelf, she knew exactly which one now.
Her paw, almost, just barely, right there —
"You are persistent and predictable, aren't you?"
Ahhh!
She bolted, only to find herself floating in air and facing Itachi, and running, going nowhere. Goodness this little bunny heart. Did this man know that a bunny could die from startlement!?
The red eyes observed her in the darkness before she floated into his arms.
He cradled her and looked down as he canceled the spell.
Quick. Look innocent.
She attempted large eyes and flattened her ears.
"Book."
Her ears perked. Dammit!
He chuckled and gave her haunch a squeeze.
Hey! That was practically ass grabbing. Oh wait... Itachi grabbed her ass. Well, the majority of the female population would kill for that. Sakura felt a bit warm now and opened her mouth to take a breath. Yuck. Ok, well Itachi was the B.O. Well, she no longer felt warm now.
"My, my just what am I going to do with you?" He asked, his wicked smile firmly in place. "I think you ought to be punished for coming back to the restricted section after getting so many warnings."
Wait. What? Punishment!
She drooped her ears, widened her eyes, and attempted to look as pitiful as possible. Sakura snuffled the hand upon her head. Don't tell the headmaster, please.
He positioned her on his left arm, freeing his right and withdrew his wand from his sleeve. He tapped Madara's book several times. A blue glow emanated from it. He tucked his wand away and then pulled the tome from the shelf.
He showed it to her.
Was he going to spank her with it? That was a bit kinky. Her ears went back a bit further. While that might float some people's boats… that was a big ass book to be doing it with. Couldn't he have picked Tsunade's little pamphlet instead?
"You see this?" he asked. His wicked smile, still in place.
Warily she gave a nod. Maybe it would be a light tap.
Slowly he slid the book into his bookbag. Odd.
She looked back up in confusion.
His sharingan red eyes stared back at her. "Well, it's mine now."
Rage pumped its way around her bunny body. Her ears vibrated in place. Her front paws swung in the air back and forth as if running, her entire frame wiggling on his arm. Her nose flared.
His dimples deepened. "Guess I'll be seeing my familiar around more often, no?"
That son of a bitch.
She let loose a raspberry, louder than any before.
A/N: Happy Halloween - hope you all enjoyed this short story