Title is a piece of the lyrics of Burning Pile, by Mother Mother.

"Don't misunderstand… I'm only wondering because it was so sudden…" Hmm? Who's speaking? What…? Was Ai sleeping? No, that couldn't be. She had to record a small thank you-ad piece for everyone supporting her return… She should've woken up early.

"This really, really doesn't happen. The training our idols partake in might be punishing, but we're not a black company. Having Ai be floored like this is…" Was that Miyako-san? She sounded tense, worried. But why? Did something happen? Ugh… Her whole body hurt, and there was a lot of unpleasant sensations all over her body. Perhaps something did happen? Were where her babies? Were they fine? Why is Ai lying on…?

A pool of blood, a dying breath. Hollowed out eyes that were unable to see anymore. Aqua, poor little Aqua, tearing fabric and cables alike to force the gaping would close. To make it let out less blood, to buy that young man a handful precious seconds…

Ai startled herself awake. She shook like her body would fall, like she'd began drowning. It also scared everyone around her, making some jump and other flinch as her left hand pulled back and touched something strange.

Wha…? It wasn't her ceiling. Hell, the sensation beneath her definitely did not belong to her comfy bed. What the…? Why was she resting on the floor? And this weird soft…? Oh, her breast. She'd pulled back her hand and was touching her own breast.

Wait, but did it hurt? No. Not that. It was beneath, within. Their lungs burned.

"Ai-chan!" One of her fellow idols made the attempt to crouch and help her up, but Ai's body was too limp and too sweaty to be of any help. The girl's grip slipped and she fell back as Ai's head landed back on the floor.

Now, that? That made her limbs work again. She cradled the back of her head, turning around and going into a fetal position without thinking.

"As expected of a pro, I guess…" That voice… It was coming from the same side as Miyako-san's. But it was one that Ai hadn't heard many times "If this much could keep you down, you'd not have become everyone's Ai-chan, right?"

She looked around, eyes narrowed. And her mind started putting things back together.

Right, the recording. Ichigo-san had asked director Taishi to work on this, as a token of friendship so that the still-rising-star director could have a bit more cash to fund his projects. And then… And then what?

She'd been there when Ai arrived, chatting along with the girls that were already there.

That woman.

Ai slowly sat up, her breathing irregular and shallow. She was caked in her own sweat and the makeup they'd put on her for the occasion. Her limps felt frail, like they'd snap under her own weight if she wasn't careful.

And yet…

When she looked up, the woman smiling at her was fine. Mostly.

Her short dark hair didn't look different from when Ai first saw her, although her shallow breathing and running sweat indicated that she should've been as much of a mess as Ai was. But, in spite of Ai's expectations and wishes, she looked fresh. Fresher than Ai, at least. Like she'd just come out of the gym, finished a routine she was used to. A simple hour of exercise, with a towel around her shoulders that had probably been used before Ai came back to her senses.

Ai's gaze darkened when her brain finished processing what happened, and only her own nature prevented it from becoming a glare.

Yukinoshita Haruno held that darkened glance with the same expressiveness and attention that one would see a piece of newspaper flying because of a strong wind.

It started innocent enough, or as innocent as someone that had broken into Ai's life the very next day that went out looking for her. Ai might've been a little nervous about it, she'd convinced everyone that she wanted to go out on a walk. Look at things on her own, maybe buy something on the way back. It'd been a bit difficult to trick them, but Ai had spent years working with Ichigo-san and Miyako-san. She'd managed to hide Hikaru, she could most certainly slip out for a couple of hours and come back with pastries.

And yet, that woman hadn't even commented on it. She'd brought some stuff to eat, yes. But it could've been a coincidence that the one that she was eating was a piece of cake made out of chocolate and coffee. Because, apparently, the fact that she'd come to the place they meant to use for recording was also a complete coincidence. One that none of the B-Komachi bought, and the tension skyrocketed as the woman explained how she'd, sometimes, do a photoshoot or participate on a recording. And the project she was managing could use the space.

Right. Ai would be hard-pressed to forget the multi-talent layer to this woman, it was the main thing that Ai wanted to see. Someone placed in such high regard by her benefactor should be a sight to behold, or else it didn't make sense that her being mentioned moved him so much. She suspected a deeper connection there, given the name she shared with one of Hikigaya's generation-mates. But Ai figured that she could piece things together talking, interacting with the people her savior interacted.

Being in the presence of them, interacting, learning. People do not become themselves in a vacuum, they are not individuals without all the context surrounding them. The director often insisted on this, even his tertiary characters had a rudimentary backstory. Something like "you're a girl that likes cats but are allergic to them, and you're dying to have one" for someone who only appears in a scene talking about pets; or "your hatred for women stems from your first girlfriend whispering someone else's name as you lost your virginity to her".

…

Anyways. The point is that, although Ai might be extrapolating a bit too much from her own experience, she wanted to believe that she could do this. That she could piece enough of "Hikigaya Hachiman" together for her to not be blinded by the light. To be able to stand on common ground, on the same level, and… And…

That woman's presence was still souring her mood.

"I think she needs some water." The tone wasn't mocking, but it wasn't worried either. Instead, she turned to Miyako-san as matter-of-fact as possible without coming off as a jerk. It made Kyun move and bring a bottle of water for Ai, open the cap and bring it to her lips.

Ai took the bottle from Kyun's hand and slowly drank without moving her gaze away from the woman.

She had some difficulty swallowing, but if a bit of discomfort and pain could stop Ai, her twins would not have been born.

"Take it easy, girlie." The woman smiled more brightly at Ai, just marginally though "Maybe we went a little overboard. It was honestly kind of fun."

Her smile became colder in spite of not changing at all.

"I actually had to stop holding back at the end."

It had started innocently enough, that woman hadn't even given Ai her whole attention at first. Instead, she'd talked a bit with the older folk. Fooling around until Miyako-san relaxed a bit, asking director Taishi about the differences in composition between a movie poster and something to promote B-Komachi… It started small, chit chat. It got everyone comfortable enough that Ai wanted to try and get into it. Plant the seed to talk to that woman at the end, preferably alone if possible.

Her first mistake was indulging the question of how hard it was to do idol things.

Ai had done a small piece to demonstrate. Singing, then dancing. Then slowly doing both at the same time. Telling this woman a couple of tricks had sounded like a small price to pay for her attention, but then she'd asked Takamine to do the same. And when she managed to move along and cover for the parts that Takamine had someone paired up with her in that particular song… Something inside Ai felt wrong.

It became wonder. That woman pretended not to know a lot about the idols, but she clearly had seen the choreography before. Ai had asked, and the woman only dismissed the notion. Saying she knew a bit about dancing and singing and that's it. Ai had wanted to know how "a little" looked like.

It'd been innocent enough at first. But at some point, Ai and that woman were singing and dancing. They did one of B-Komachi's most popular songs, and the girls were enthralled enough to move on to the next, and the next.

It wasn't fun anymore. This person was moving along, hitting the necessary notes, and neither Ai nor the girls had demonstrated them in slow motion or given her the music sheets to know the tone and rhythm. This woman simply looked up each song's lyrics on her phone and winged it until she was covering Ai's parts and pushing her to greater lengths.

She tried to fake her out at some point, and the only thing Ai managed to do was to lose the rhythm while that woman kept on singing and dancing.

It finished with one of the newer songs, one that Ai also needed the lyrics to actually sing. In retrospect, not knowing the full song by heart might've been her saving grace. Because it gave her enough elbow room to challenge the woman to move on to songs from other people and improvised dancing.

They ended up singing some weird mix of idol/heavy metal songs and doing the closest to breakdancing that the room let them. Ai's mind was going overdrive by that point, already wondering when she'd trip on her words next, trying to catch herself before it happened.

Then… Ai was on the floor.

"Can you… Can you leave her alone for five seconds?" Miyako-san looked on the border of hitting that woman. She quickly crouched beside Ai and checked her face for any traces of unwellness, or at least that's what Ai guessed "Are you okay?"

Ai instinctively knew that speaking would let more on than she was willing to reveal, so she simply offered the woman a pressed-lips smile and a thumbs up while she struggled to swallow the water in her mouth.

"See? Everything's fine. Not all the power of a top-tier idol is posturing." The woman chuckled, slowly going back to the pastries she had brought and going for the same kind she'd chosen at the beginning "She's probably in better condition than all of us combined."

"Posturing, you say…" Niino looked kind of perplexed. Her stare was beyond the here and now, seeing things that probably weren't physically here. It must've stung to have her role be executed better than she could manage. Because this cunning woman seemingly did everything in a very targeted fashion, from her movements, her tone, to the details in her words and the choices she made. A couple of the other girls took it worse, but in a very "I can lose my job" way instead of Niino's actual dismay at seeing her own effort be surpassed by someone she just met.

One way or another, Ai felt the closest to this girl she'd ever felt then and there.

"Well, yes. I mean, you know better than I just how much backstage planning goes on." The woman lifted a hand. Her voice still sounded rough, but she managed to pull her sentences well enough without pausing. She didn't sound like before all the dancing and singing, but she still pulled off the vibe of only being a bit out of air well enough "All of you are masters of your craft, but the same goes in the opposite direction: Your performance is tailor-made for all of you."

That felt like being stung after the performance she pulled off, but some girls didn't get that. They didn't understand that she was looking down on them, or perhaps chose to take it on a kinder side. Who knows? Ai would be hard-pressed to say she ever understood her co-workers that well.

"Nino-chan, your voice is something that I cannot replicate. And I only just noticed while we were at it, but it's kind of awkward to pose in the way someone smaller or taller than myself is supposed to. I'm sure the director can explain it better than me, but the illusion of aesthetic is something very fragile." The woman took a lungful of air and released it slowly. It looked like she'd meant to sigh, but the way her shoulders slowly went down made her look more tired than before. Let alone the way she closed her eyes and fell silent for a moment "I guess that's the limit of my abilities. That I am too "me", if you understand what I'm saying. I'd be hard-pressed to perform a role similar to any of yours."

"Don't flatter yourself so much, Yukinoshita-san." The director spoke up from his spot behind the camera. He'd stayed silent, stoically looking at how things developed while Miyako-san stayed by Ai's side. And although the idol couldn't read his expression, she did recognize that his attention was solely on the woman he was talking to "I'm sure you'd be able to, with a bit of practice."

The woman chuckled in return.

"That'd be a waste of effort and time." The woman sort of stretched her shoulders to the side, pushing her elbows out to manage it, and made her bones audibly pop as she did the motion. Those sounds made Ai cringe, harden her stomach muscles without thinking "Isn't it better for most people to play to their talents?"

The director's eyes narrowed.

"What are your talents then, Yukinoshita-san?"

"Eh, you know. A bit of this, a bit of that. I do perform the best with things that do not require passion though."

"Everything requires even a little bit of passion."

"Eh… Does it? I don't know about that." The woman shrugged "Maybe it's just the way I am. I sure know I'd not be able to push myself to my absolute limit like Ai-chan, there's a precious few who would."

The woman walked toward Ai, slowly. She had some trouble crouching and not losing her balance. But when she managed it, she reached out with her palm extended.

"Congrats on a race well run." The woman gave Ai a perfectly acceptable smile.

Ai's glow returned.

"I did give you a fight." She took the hand, feeling the small tremors that just looking at the woman's face would hide.

"Uh huh."

Ai's smile felt a bit more pleasant on her face, noticing the small details on the woman's behavior.

Posturing, she said? Not too far off from the mark.

"How does it feel to beat a national-level talent?" Ai tilted her head, trying to shake the hand in such a way that it'd make the woman lose balance without pulling too obviously "I want to think I brought my A-game to this."

The woman twisted her wrist in such a way that Ai's fingers couldn't keep holding the hand, freeing herself to go back to her feet.

"It was entertaining." The woman looked at her wrist, pulling her sleeve a bit to check the watch "I didn't even notice how much time I've been here."

Again, the smile she offered Ai was perfectly pleasant. If a bit hollow.

"I can see why you're everyone's Ai-chan. You're truly remarkable." The woman closed her eyes, stretching her smile.

"I do my best for my fans." Ai chuckled.

"Eh~. So that's how it is: You're at your strongest when you're being watched." The woman chuckled, and this was the first action that actually felt human since she'd come "That's so funny, I know someone like that. Man, now I wish I could've done a competition on stage."

"Eh?"

"Ah, don't get me wrong. You're marvelous, incredible. It's just… You lacked something here. And now I know what." The woman shook her head with some lingering amusement "That, too, is something I can't do. I can't extract strength from wanting to prove something, show something to the world."

She put her hands together, intertwining all of her fingers except for the indexes. And stared at those hands like they didn't belong to her, like she was projecting into them something that Ai couldn't see or understand.

"What a pure, innocent desire. I can see how you managed to get ahead in life, knowing with absolute certainty what you want." The woman chuckled to herself, dropping her arms and breaking the mystique in this one-side conversation "Were you able to find it?"

"Yes." Ai wheezed, not wanting to give this woman even a second to make her own conclusions.

"Is that so?" It sounded like the answer disappointed her, but her expression turned more contemplative than negative.

"What? Is this business too fabricated to sound true?" The director scoffed, looking away but visibly relaxing.

"Ha ha. You sound like someone I know; she'd always criticize my outlook on things." The woman returned to the cheer she'd shown in the beginning, the traces of tiredness all but gone with the exception of the glower of her sweat "Perhaps you should meet."

"Is she beautiful?" The director returned his gaze toward the woman, regretfully curious.

"She's out of your league, director-san." The woman laughed it off.

"You say that now, but just you wait. I'll make it big in time."

"Is that so? Then, I can't miss this chance. I can offer you my services if the need arises." The woman went to her purse and produced a card, handling it with two fingers and giving it to the director.

"Aren't you just administrating a company?" The man frowned while reading the small rectangle on his hands.

"Officially, yeah. But I can do anything if given enough to work with." The woman cheered "If you need a talent, I am one. Regardless of category or specialization. Maybe I'm the muse you need?"

The director chuckled.

"I doubt it."

"Aww, sucks." The woman snapped her fingers "Worth a try."

"If your specialty is soulless labor…" The director didn't look at her, but he still pocketed the card while speaking "…You're the farthest thing from what I'm looking for imaginable."

The woman's expression did not break, her smile did not stretch disproportionally, nor her eyes glazed over or darkened like Ai expected. She didn't lash out or flinch, nor did she seem to be at all aware of the backhanded insult, even though there was no way she didn't get it.

She just… Nodded along.

"You have a terrific eye." The devil nodded sagely "I know a guy like that too."

"Do you enjoy toying with him too?" The director sounded a bit curious now.

"Toying has such bad connotations… It's more like, I like couching him on the tough things in life." She shrugged "No matter what anyone thinks, I'm not evil or anything."

She returned her gaze toward Ai.

"I'm just a wandering soul looking for something fun to make myself busy with."

Ai's expression broke a little.

"Thank you, girls, really. For making this onee-san company. I hope we can eventually work together." Her words visibly made the tension rise again, and that apparently satisfied her as she gave the room a look over "See ya, Ai-chan. I'm glad I heeded my gut feeling and came here."

"I thought you had work to do here?" Ai spoke more normally now, still struggling a bit, but now just a little out of air instead of literally suffocating. Her temperature also dropped to more normal levels, so she managed to get back to her feet with Miyako-san's help.

"Yes! And I might need to reschedule, time sure flies when you're having fun!" The woman cheered as she checked her watch "Normally I wouldn't bother other people just going about their business. But, well, it's B-Komachi."

The devil's eyes fell squarely on Ai again.

"I was just dying to know about Strawberry Production's jewel of the crown." Or so she said, because her stare felt the same as an anchor's reading the script behind the camera: Unable to look at the viewer, professional.

Cold.

It was a stare Ai couldn't even hold when it appeared in the mirror on a bad day. So she looked away first.