Francesca woke up first and shook Michael.

''Wake up! Something is happening?''

''What is going on?''

''I've heard someone screaming…''

''Stay in the room and lock the door.''

He took his pistol from the nightstand and left the room. Francesca locked the door and sat on the bed waiting for some news. Michael walked quietly to see what was going on and he found earl's room opened and his aunt sitting on the floor screaming and crying.

''Aunt Janet, what is happening?''

''John… My son is dead.''

At that moment, Michael saw his cousin in the bed. He looked like he was asleep. He lifted his covers and clothes.

''What are you doing?''

''Looking if someone killed him…''

''Why would someone…?''

''I don't know aunt Janet…It makes no sese that he died just like that. He is too young just to die… Maybe they gave him something?''

''Who Michael?''

''Those people… Maybe they killed him for something in those bloody marriage papers.''

''Michael, they have no use of him dead…certainly not before the child is born…''

On the rational level, Michael knew all that…

''Did you send for the doctor?''

''Yes , he is on the way…''

''I'll go back to my room to get dressed. I can't really see the doctor in my breaches.''

That was the moment Janet noticed her was not appropriately dressed, not even for bed.

''You better… And tell your wife to get dressed too… Does she have mourning dresses?''

''I don't think so… The darkest dress she has is navy and it is an evening dress…''

''I will send her some of your mother's dresses after your father died. They will have to work for tonight and tomorrow.''

He got back to the room and Francesca let him in.

''What is going on Michael?''

''Take a seat Frannie.''

She did and he kneeled in front of her.

''John has passed.''

''No! How? He is too young.''

''I know, but he did. We are waiting for doctor and solicitor…''

Before he could say anything more his valet enters the room.

''Earl Kilmartin, Countess Kilmartin, I am here to express my condolences and ask you how to proceed?''

''With what?''

''You must send letters and inform tenants and other lords of old Earl's passing.''

John was still warm and they spoke of him as old earl. Michael's anger was boiling. Francesca got up from the bed and came to the valet.

''Earl will be in the study in twenty minutes, as soon as he gets dressed. Please, give him a moment.''

Maid came in with Helen's dressed and Francesca picked the only one she could alter a bit. She took thread and needle and in ten minutes she mended the dress so it would fit her. She put her hair in the braid and put on silver slippers. It was most neutral color she had. Mait took her measures to mend the other dressed for her and they left the room. Michael went downstairs and she went to John's room to see if there was something she could do for Janet. She entered the room and found mother siting on the bed holding her son's hand.

''Is there something I could do so you could have more time with him?''

Janet looked at her and Francesca was not sure if it was hate, sadness or just expression of loss on her face.

''Nothing can be done for me.''

''Michael said that the doctor will be here soon.''

''He can't help him.''

''I know, but he needs to sign off…''

''…the death certificate, I know that.''

Francesca chose not to respond. She knew Janet was in pain. Maid came in and came to Francesca.

''Countess, what shall we serve when people come to express their condolences?''

Countess… That would take a minute to get used to.

''Let me accompany you to the kitchens. I have no idea what we have in the house. We shall come to some conclusion with the cook. I will join you in a minute.''

''Yes, Lady Kilmartin.''

Janet looked at her…

''Lady Kilmartin… Countess… My son is not cold yet and you and your husband usurp his title…''

''I never asked them to call me that. They came to our room and addressed us that way. If you wish, I will ask them to address me as Lady Sterling. That is title given to me by my husband, what he had before he married me so no one is usurping anything belonging to your son. But the fact is that Michael is an earl now and that makes me Countess…and regardless of how much you do not approve. People will call us that.''

With that she left the room and went to the kitchen. She inspected what was there and gave instructions. Some sandwiches were made and water for tea was to always be warm. She gave instructions and went to join her husband. Michael was in the sitting room giving instructions to the rest of the household. Doctor was escorted to John's bedroom and just as they were climbing the stairs, solicitor came with his briefcase and asked to see them all in the study. Michael said they would join him as soon as the doctor gives his instructions. Janet sat as a statue next to the bed and let doctor do his job. It was declared a natural death and they were instructed to bury him as soon as possible since the weather was getting warm. Janet gave instructions how to dress him and sent one of the valets to inform the family of his intended.

Solicitor read his will and informed of what they already knew. Michael was new Earl, his wife, if he marries would be Countess and until then, duties of Countess were on his widow Francesca Bridgerton Sterling he was about to marry just few days after writing his will. His mother was dowager Countess with amount of money provided for her and he asked Michael to keep taking care of his mother and widow too. Everyone was shocked by the content of the will. He didn't change it after her wedding to Michael and it felt weird to all of them to hear that. Also, he left a letter for Francesca that was addressed to Francesca Sterling Countess of Kilmartin. She took the letter and put it in the pocket of her dress.

John left some more instructions and just as the solicitor was getting ready to leave, McDougal family showed up.

''Why were we not invited to the reading of the will?''

Solicitor looked at them.

''I don't know who you are…''

''This is his wife….''

Now that was a surprise to the solicitor.

''Wife? I believed Lady Kilmartin was his wife?''

Michael responded.

''No, they were engaged but we ended up marrying… And Miss Josephine McDougal was not his wife. Wedding was to take place next week, so no… She has no right to Kilmartin estate or any inheritance.''

Mr. McDougal started shouting how Michael killed his cousin so he could inherit the estate. Solicitor looked at Michael and Mr. McDougal and had no idea what to say.

''I didn't kill John. I retired before the dinner ended and my wife followed. We were in our chambers when we heard my aunt's scream. We traveled for two weeks and needed our res. So, no, I went to sleep not to kill my cousin. Doctor said he died of natural causes.''

''Because you told him to say that.''

''No, I was not with him at all. My aunt was only person in the room with the doctor. She told us about his findings.''

''You killed him so my daughter wouldn't marry him.''

''I would gain more by killing her than John. I never wanted the earldom. So, with that move, I would get John alive with prospects of better wife.''

''My daughter would have been a good wife!''

''No, she wouldn't have been, but you would have gained control of the estate. As soon as she would have given him a son, you would have gained control. And THAT is what you are mad about. He died before two of them could marry… Because, let's say that they were adventures and consummated the union before it was blessed, it would still be an illegitimate child, regardless of it's sex. So, I would be an heir again. So, if you are done, you may leave and never come back to this house…''

McDougals left and now Michael had another thing on his mind. He turned to the solicitor.

''He got from my uncle land in a way I don't think was legal. I think he scammed him. I will look through books and all to learn how that took place and I will visit you to see if there is a way for us to recover the land.''

''Lord Kilmartin, please don't start things with that man. Ne is too dangerous.''

''People here fear him, but I do not. I want to know what happened. I need to.''

''I am at your service, but just know that it would not be easy.''

''I know, but also, I was never the one to back off.''

''You and your lady should order your new signets. She is new Countess and both of you will need one that is yours.''

''I shall speak to Lady Kilmartin about it.''

He looked at Francesca and she came to stand beside him.

''Mine can have letter F, thistle and a bee.''

''That is a good idea My Lady, and you, my lord?''

''M with two sords crossed over it.''

''I shall make sure you get them in a day or two. I know a man who works fast…''

''Thank you, sir.''

Next on Michael's agenda was the funeral. News of John's death spread pretty fast so at eight o clock in the morning people were already coming to the house. Francesca kept the things going since she knew Janet was no in the state to do anything bur mourn her son. Valets dressed John's body and he was removed from the house and ready to be buried by noon that day. All of the tenants were at the funeral and Francesca and Michael were happy because John was so loved. Francesca, Michael and Janet were seated in the front row of the church and Francesca had a perfect view of the casket. It made her think of many things. What would have happened if they did marry? Would she be a widow now after just few weeks of marriage? What would those weeks of marriage look like? Would have she been happy being his wife? Did she really love him? She was very sad for his death, but there was not pain on her face that even resembled how her mother looked after her father died. After learning of John's death, she took over organizing servants for food and drink that had to be provided to the people who would come to the house. She kept her head clear and did all she had to do… Her mother couldn't do anything but cry and stare at one spot on the wall. Looking at his casket she realized she cared about him but never really loved him as she should have. Letter was still in her dress pocket and she was not sure if she wanted to read it. She looked at Michael and saw pain on his face. He kept it together just for appearances and she knew her husband would fall apart as soon as the audience is gone and he can face his pain and loss. Now he was new Earl who was giving proper burial to the old earl. Irony was that old earl was just few weeks his senior.

Janet retired to her room after the funeral and Michael and Francesca dealt with guests. Around eight in the evening, everyone left and they could finally take a breath. Michael took a seat in the chair and closet his eyes.

''I have a feeling this day will never end.''

''There are still some things to be done. I have to see with the kitchen staff what we need and tell them to bring something to your aunt so she has something to eat when she is ready.''

''Thank you, Frannie, you are an angel.''

''I am far from its Michael.''

''You are my anger.''

He pulled her down and kissed her on the lips.

''Are you hungry?''

''No, I don't think so…''

''I'll be back in a minute… Enjoy a moment of silence.''

Francesca left the room and he took out of his pocket John's watch. It was present from his father for his sixteenth birthday. He got a watch and Michael got few weeks later engraved dagger. That dagger traveled with him to all the battles he was in and he saw it as a lucky charm. Michael decided to keep the watch as a memory of John and their childhood. He really missed his cousin and that calm and tenderness there was about him. For every mistake Michael made, there was John's calm and understanding and way to provide him with some words that would help him weather the storm in his heart and mind. John always joked that Michael was restless because he didn't find something to ground him. John had the estate and after that his fiancée. Michael had nothing to keep him rooted. Now, Michael was married to that fiancée and in charge of the thing that made John rooted. Will it give him reason to ground himself or make him be even bigger wondered? Would his wife follow him into all the madness he could create?

Francesca came back to him and he took her hand and kissed it.

''I need you Frannie…''

She felt a bit unconfortable.

''Michael, it is inappropriate… Here? And it's my time of the month… I don't think…''

He laughed…

''I was not talking about THAT…''

''Oh… I beg your pardon. I didn't understand right then.''

''I do need you in THAT way too, but I will respect your wishes…''

She was glad to hear that.

''What I need from you is your eyes and mind.''

''What do you mean?''

''I need you to look at the books with me. Books for past let's say almost ten years…''

''That is a lot of books…''

''I know… It will take us some time…''

''What are we looking for?''

''How McDougal tricked my uncle and after that John…''

''Do you know where can we look for?''

''Honestly, I have no idea where to start.''

''Maybe you should give it a moment…I know it matters to you to learn what took place, but maybe give yourself just this night. Mourn your cousin. Cry, think of him. Do what you need to do to let your emotions out. You kept it together entire day and now, that no one is here, give yourself a moment to be a man, not Earl or whatever they all expect you to be.''

''How can I? I have to find out what happened. There are so many books and contracts to go over.''

''I know, but now is not the time…''

Michael wanted to protest but she put her finger over his lips.

''We are too tired to look at numbers and sensitive wording. We should go to bed and start early tomorrow. I promise to give my best to help you find what you are looking for. But, to find something, we need to have clear mind… We are up since three in the morning… I don't think we would be able to find anything at this state. In all honesty, I don't think I could properly read sheet of music I am familiar with in this state.''

''You are right… Help me lock the office and secure the windows.''

''Do you wish to sleep in the office. I am sure we could fit in those two large sofas.''

''You deserve a bed.''

''So do you Michael.''

''Let's just secure everything and then we can go to bed.''

She took his hand and they went to the office. Michael checked the locks on windows and locked the office bringing the key with him. They went to bed and Michael fell asleep holding her. They woke up early and Francesca put on different black dress that morning. They had something to eat and went straight to the office. Michael checked if someone tried to break in and found no traces of the attempt. He gave Francesca early ledgers and she took a seat on the sofa and started reading them. With a sheet of paper, she marked places she wanted to show Michael or she didn't understand. At some point she put big pillow on the floor and sat there because the table was better height when she was sitting on the floor. They heard commotion in the hall and then door burst open and his aunt walked in.

''What is the meaning of this? We buried John yesterday and you are already getting rid of his things? Are you in such a rush to bed your new wife in the bed my son slept in… She would have shared with him?''

Both Michael and Francesca were confused and a bit insulted.

''Aunt Janet, can you please explain?''

''They are clearing up his rooms and preparing a room for Earl and Countess.''

''I assure you we have nothing to do with it.''

Davis, who was in charge of the house entered behind Janet.

''I am sorry My Lord…but you have to explain to dowager Countess that is how things are done. As soon as the previous earl dies, new Earl moves into the house and chambers intended for him and his spouse if he has any.''

''Davis, I understand, but my cousin just died.''

''And we are sorry for young master, but there are some rules this household has been following for centuries. Must I remind the dowager Countess that she and her husband moved in their chambers the same day, old Earl died?''

''My father-in-law was in his late seventies.''

''It doesn't matter My Lady… Rules are the same for everyone…''

''Can I at least sort through his things before they throw them away?''

''Davis, can you move all the trunks with my cousin's things into his mother's room. She will sort out what she wants to keep or give away.''

''Yes, my lord.''

Davis left the room and Janet looked around and saw them with the books.''

''What in God's name are you doing?''

''Getting familiar with state of the estate.''

''You think my son did poor job?''

''No, but I need to know the books in order to run the estate.''

She just narrowed her eyes at them and left.

''She is not happy about any of this.''

''That is to be expected. She lost her son.''

''I know… And I feel for her, but that is not the way to speak to any of us.''

''It is grief speaking out of her… I wouldn't want to be in her place. She lost a husband she loved deeply and now son. He was not ill; he was young and he just passed.''

''I know… I feel heartbroken for her. She has nothing to live for now.''

''We have to move again.''

''Move?''

''Yes, into Kilmartin house in London. We can't live in my father's home anymore.''

''I shall make arrangements for the move when we come back.''

''We also need to know where she would live.''

''Maybe she could stay with us?''

''You are an angel Francesca, but she would rather sleep on the streets than in the same house as us.''

Francesca could understand.

''Maybe she could move into the house we are in currently?''

''I shall ask her.''

They skipped lunch because they were too busy with the ledgers. Francesca found few more suspicious things in some of them and marked them again for Michael. By dinner time they were too tired and too hungry to keep going. When they entered the dining room, they found that the seating arrangement was changed they were at opposite sides of the dining table and his aunt was at his right. She wanted to sit closer to him, but she didn't want to bend too many rules on the first day. Davis came in and informed them that their things were moved into new chambers. Michael didn't know what to say, but Francesca thanked him and continued eating. Now the staff started addressing her and asking what would she put on the menu for the week or what they should buy and she could see that Janet was not comfortable with it.

''Maybe you can use instructions dowager Countess gave you for this week and on Sunday, I shall present you with the new one.''

''Yes, Mam…''

After they were done with dinner, Davis brought them small package. They were presented with their signets and now it was time to finally inform her family of what took place. She retired to her new room and took a sheet of paper and wrote a letter to her family she closed with her new signet in the vax. Francesca Sterling, Countess of Kilmartin. It still took some time to get used to it. Maid helped her change for bed and she got into it with a book. Soon a door separating the bedrooms opened and Michael came.

''Can I sleep here? I can't use that room yet?''

She moved covers of her bed and Michael got in. She put away her book and opened her arms for him. His head was resting on her chest and she was stroking his hair. After few moments of silence, he started sobbing. Finally… Francesca was glad he was letting it all out.

He fell asleep after he was all cried out and she didn't let go of him. She was not very comfortable, but she still held him and didn't move at all. He needed this and she would give it to him. He saved her when she was on the brink of ruin and she was here, not to save him, but to stand by him. It was her duty as a wife and companion to be the rock for her husband now.

In the morning Michael went to the study to keep looking at the ledgers and Francesca decided to walk around the estate. She wanted to see it and get to know it better. She went to the gardener and asked him for peonies. She took them to John's grave and finally opened his letter

My sweet Francesca,

If you are reading this letter, it means that I am no longer with you. I know you are hurting, but I want you to know I will always be with you. Maybe my body is not by your side, but my spirit will always be. My sweet girl, light of my life, my quiet tempest…Oh, how I shall miss living my life by your side and with the family we created. Be good to my cousin. He is not good with expressing his feelings. Let him mourn in his unconventional ways. Be patient with him. (If he is still alive…you never know with man in war).

I hope that I gave you a good life and left you with enough children that you don't have to worry about anything. I need you to live the rest of your life to the fullest and enjoy time with children and grandchildren that we had. There will be plenty of time for you to follow me…

Love forever,

John

She closed the letter and wiped tears that started falling. It was a beautiful letter, but none of it was true. She was not his wife…they had no children and they didn't have life that he imagined they would have. She finally got to cry and mourn. She was mourning John; she was mourning life they never had and loss of a dream. Yes, she was happy with Michael, but she still, at that point, didn't let go of her dreams of life with John. Now, at his grave, she was ready to finally say good bye to them and to him. She kissed her fingers and placed them on the flowers on the grave.

''Good bye John… I am sorry we never got to live what you imagined… We would have been happy, but life had different plan for us… Rest in peace and know I am safe and taken care of. I'll look after Michael… I'll be there for him…''

She got up from the bench and went walking back to the house. She got into the study and took off her coat.

''Are you all right? You look like you've been crying.''

''I went to his grave and read the letter.''

Michael wanted to know what was in it, but didn't ask. He didn't want to invade her privacy. If she wanted to give him the letter, he would read it, but he would never ask her to give it to him.

She took a seat on the sofa.

''He wrote about an amazing life he was sure we had…''

Michael still just listened. What could he say?

''He really imagined beautiful life for us… He even asked me to take care of you after his death…''

That got Michael to smile a bit.

''Yes, he would have wanted for someone to take care of me… he never believed I could take care of myself.''

''I think that he just saw life in a different way compared to what you. You lived an adventure and he lived simple and safe life at this estate.''

''Are you sorry that you never got to marry him?''

He didn't know why he asked this…

''I did have days when I wondered what my life would be like with him…But I do feel my life is good with you… We found a way to function and be good for each other…''

She got up and came to him. She took his hand and knelt in front of him.

''Our marriage didn't start out of love or affection we had for one another… But I think we have every chance to be very happy together… I am grateful for you Michael… Life was good to me when it sent you to me. You came into my life to show me different life from what I imagined and I am excited for every day ahead of us.''

She pulled him into a kiss and he deepened the kiss and held her even tighter. She had no idea that he fell in love with her that first night in the garden and that he would have loved her forever…even if she married his cousin. He was glad that she was his wife and not his cousin's widow. At least now he could kiss and hold her without guilty conscience.