TW: SH, ED

Alfred was excited to meet Mattie. They have not talked in a couple of weeks, and Alfred missed when his brother lived with him. But when Alfred and Mattie did live together all Mattie did was pick a fight. Or maybe it was Alfred that picked the fight. They would fight about the same stuff as adults that they did as kids.

Now they live apart, they talk less. Mattie once told Alfred even though they talk less Mattie feels their relationship is better. Alfred feels that they rarely see each other.

The one aspect that Alfred liked about Mattie living a town over was the drive to his apartment. Mattie liked to hike so he got out of the city with his girlfriend. Mattie lived next to a pretty park.

When Alfred arrived at Mattie's apartment he texted, "Here."

Mattie responded, 'On my way!"

Mattie got into the car and asked Alfred, "Want a hit of my dap pin?"

Alfred did want a hit of the dab pin but he said, "Mattie, you know that I am driving." Mattie shrugged his shoulders and said, "Yeah, whatever, let's get coffee."

The cafe was filled with people doing homework on laptops. When they walked in there was a line to the door but Mattie said, "The line is usually out of the door."

They waited in the long line of people until they reached the counter to order. Once the food and coffee was handed to them they found a table in the corner but with a good view of the door. Mattie could not smoke, but he would walk outside about every 15 minutes after they got their coffee and muffins.

Once they were settled into their table Alfred said, "I went on a date."

Mattie then responded, "You went on a date! With who? When? Where?"

Alfred then summarized everything that happened, "The guy was really nice, but I ended up driving him to work."

Mattie responded, "What! Do you have a picture?"

Alfred did not want Mattie to judge the guy, but he had to pull up the man's Tinder profile. There was not a lot to the profile but two pictures and some basic interests like superheroes.

Mattie looked at the pictures for a while and then said, "He is not cute, and it is weird that he asked you to drive him to work."

Alfred said, "He doesn't have a car, what was I supposed to do?"

Mattie then laughed and said, "You're supposed to tell him goodbye as he get on the dam bus."

Alfred thought about this. Mattie was right. It is weird that he asked him to drive him to work but it could have been worse. He could have asked him to go home with him and have sex. Alfred would have ended whatever they had right there.

Mattie then said, " I am glad that I met Tina in high school, I could not do dating."

Alfred also could not do dating either; he was just lonely. Alfred said to Mattie, "I think that I need to get a cat or something."

Mattie said, "I agree, it does not sound like you actually like this guy. You shouldn't lead him on. But it is fucking weird that he even asked you to drive him to work."

Alfred then said, "Well he already asked me on a second date and I said yes. We are still thinking about where to go."

Mattie looked suspicious about this, but he shrugged his shoulders and responded, "Me and Tina are moving to Florida."

Alfred's mind went into overdrive. How was Alfred supposed to live without his brother? Alfred then said, "When?"

Mattie said, "In about a month, Tina got a job."

Mattie was looking through his phone to show Alfred where he was moving to. Alfred's eyes started to wander to other places in the cafe. Alfred started to look at the front door where the line was still ended at. Alfred saw a very familiar face walk through the door of the cafe. It was Ivan, a childhood friend who cut contact with him in 6th grade. The moment that they made eye contact Alfred said, "I am going to the bathroom."

Alfred texted Mattie, "Ivan B is here. Let me know when he leaves."

Alfred waited 5 minutes and there was no response but the text was read. So Alfred decided to walk out of the bathroom to see Mattie talking to Ivan. Alfred did not want to chat with Ivan but Alfred also wanted to leave.

When Alfred walked to the table he said to Mattie, "Are you ready to go?"

He then looked at Ivan and pretended to be surprised, "Hi! I haven't seen you in so long! When was the last time we saw each other? It must have been high school!"

Ivan then said, "Hi Alfred, it is nice seeing you but I have to get going."

Ivan then walked to a table in the back of the restaurant. Alfred could feel his heart in his chest.

Alfred then said, "Mattie, what did he say to you?"

Mattie laughed and said, "Ivan said next time I talk to you to let you know then he is sorry about trying to get you expelled in high school. He now understands that our dad was shitty."

Alfred looked to where Ivan was sitting. Ivan was talking to a group of friends. Alfred was glad Ivan was doing well for himself. It was weird to see someone he used to be so close to be a stranger.

Alfred drove Mattie home. Matted got out of the car and said, "Good luck with your classes! Love you!"

When Alfred entered College he knew exactly what degree he wanted. He wanted to get a psychology degree and then eventually get a master's. his dad on the other hand was surprised he even got into college. Alfred applied to 15 schools and only got into two. The first one he got into was a school on the west coast. The second one he got into was the community college.

When he got the acceptance letters he was so excited and said to Arthur, " Look I got into college!"

Arthur then responded, "Everyone can get into those colleges."

Alfred knew that he only got into the second college because Kiku helped him apply. Alfred wanted to go to the college that was far away but Arthur told him, "I will only fund the college that is close to home."

Alfred did not want to be in debt so young so he decided to go to community college. Alfred wanted to move out but Mattie needed him. Mattie would not be able to handle Arthur yelling at him. Mattie was already stealing papas wine and smoking at 15.

Like many colleges Alfred had to take standardized tests for math and writing. The results came back and he had to take two prerequisite writing classes before he could take the basic English class. Alfred cried on his way home.

When Alfred got home, Arthur reading a book by the fire in the living room. He Saw Alfred's face and said, "What happened?"

Alfred said, "I have to take like two classes before I can take the basic writing class."

Arthur then responded, "Didn't you already think that was going to happen?"

Arthur closed his book and sat up straight. Arthur looked at Alfred crying. Arthur did this a lot because Alfred cried a lot. Arthur said, " You can work at my company as a secretary. You don't even have to go to college for that."

Alfred thought about this but realized he would rather die than have to see his dad at work and home. He then said, "Dad I much rather take the classes."

Arthur then responded, "Well when you fail because you don't have the friend that will let you cheat off him just know you can be my secretary."

Alfred went up to his room and laid on his bed. Alfred thought, "I have to succeed at college."

Why does my dad think that I cheat?

The second date with Tinder guy started off great. They got pasta and walked around a store. The date ended with an awkward kiss. At the end of the date Alfred did not understand why his date was not leaving the car.

Alfred said, "Goodbye, this was nice."

Alfred's date did not make a motion to get out of the car. The date did make a motion to start getting closer to his face. Alfred said, "I have not done this before."

The date responded, "I haven't either."

The date started to lean in again and Alfred felt stuck. Alfred thought the guy would not leave the car unless there was a kissing exchange. Alfred leaned in and their lips met. After they separated Alfred said, "Goodbye."

Alfred did not know what his first kiss was supposed to be like, or if he was supposed to feel anything. Alfred felt weird and needed to talk to someone.

When Alfred called Kiku, there was no answer. Alfred then got a text that read, "I am doing homework, I will call you in an hour."

Alfred decided to make dinner while waiting for the call back. Alfred made grilled tilapia and salted green beans. He has been trying to eat healthy and it was going well five days of the week.

On Saturday nights, Alfred would get lonely picking a fast food place to order from. This leads to eating three meals of food in one sitting. On Sundays he felt nauseous all day and laid in bed and would not eat anything but yogurt and popsicles.

Sundays were also the days that he would plan his healthy meals for the week. Alfred used to track his calories but it did not help with anything. All that tracking calories told him is that sometimes he eats too much but he already knew that.

Alfred did enjoy fish though, it just did not make him feel full. He was trying to have a healthier outlook on food. He looked into intuitive eating but he was not ready for that. What Alfred's intuition was telling him right was to order a gallon of ice cream for delivery.

Another issue Alfred had was binging led to other ways of hurting himself. Alfred would hold a hot pan against his leg. He would also break open a razor on a really bad day.

Alfred could not remember the first time he cut himself. Alfred does know the first time he hurt himself he thought, "I will stop one day."

Alfred was thrown out of his thoughts of the sound of his phone ringing. Alfred picked up the phone and Kiku said, "Alfred, I can only talk for ten minutes and then I have to go back to homework."

Alfred responded, "I kissed this guy I went on a date with, and it was so awkward, I might swear off men."

Kiku laughed and said, "I think you need to stop trying to look for love on those silly apps and look right in front of you!"

Alfred without thinking said, "Right in front of me is you!"

Alfred realized that what he said could be misinterpreted. Kiku responded, "Very funny, are you going to ghost this man too?'

Alfred responded, "It feels too cruel to go no contact, I will send a text telling him I don't want to meet again."

Kiku laughed at this too. Alfred then got a text from Kiku. It was a stack of textbooks. Kiku said, "Do you have anything else you wanted to talk about before I go back to my homework?"

Alfred said, "Do you remember Ivan from high school?"

Kiku responded, "Yes, he was the guy that tried to get you kicked out of school right?"

Alfred then said, "Yes! I saw him when I was out with my brother. Ivan told my brother to tell me that he was sorry for trying to get me expelled. Should I feel happy about the apology?"

Kiku said, "That is strange, I think the apology was more for his conscience."

Alfred said, "Bye Kiku, I will see you when you get back in town."

Alfred then spent twenty minutes drafting a text to the Tinder guy. Alfred did not know how to call the two day relationship off. Alfred decided to send, "You did nothing wrong, but I am not ready for a relationship, I do not want to go on anymore dates."

After he sent the message the Tinder guy responded quickly and wrote, "I understand, I thought we had something, but I will respect your boundaries."

Alfred felt bad.

A/N: Let me know what you think! I have a outline for this story so I do plant information that will make since later. I am good with any feedback. I am not sure if I will bring Tinder guy back. He purpose is to set up that Alfred does not know what to do in romantic situations. Tinder guy is also to show that Alfred does not always make the best decisions. Don't drive Tinder guys to work people.