Sorry for the delay!

18 July 1992

"What, so that's it? You just never speak to him ever again?"

"I thought you'd be in favour of that."

"Well, yeah, I am but…on the strength of what Ryan Brown said?"

Christina cast her gaze down the bar to where the rather good-looking barman was mixing their drinks, avoiding her friend's look. She had revealed the information she had been given days earlier rather casually, not wanting to make a big deal of it. "Maybe I was just looking for someone to tell me like it is. Maybe it doesn't matter who it was that told me."

"But a rapist…" Viv shook her head. "I mean, you were with him all those years. Do you really think he'd be capable of that?"

"I don't know. Part of me doesn't want to know. If you'd asked me years ago…" she sighed, memories flooding back. "When I left him on New Year's Eve…he did try it on."

"How do you mean?"

"We were back at his parents' house, he was drunk, he wanted sex…" she shivered slightly at the memory of her desperately fleeing to the Travelodge in Leicester and calling Frank to tell him she had done what he wanted her to do. "I had to fight him off. I mean, I don't think he would have thought of it as rape but…" Viv said nothing. "I know you think I'm a terrible person…"

"I've never said that," Viv interrupted. "I might have questioned your judgement at times, I might still be questioning it, but I've never thought you were a terrible person. Only you know what Stewart might have done that night if you hadn't gotten away. Christ, a few weeks later he stabbed you! You would never have predicted that."

"No," she agreed, as the drinks were placed on the tray in front of them and she handed over the money.

"What did Burnside say? About you never wanting to speak to Stewart again?"

"He was relieved, understandably."

"Still on track for next week then?"

"Yep," she nodded. "I've taken the day off; told Meadows I need to sort out some personal stuff. I don't know what Frank's told him. No doubt he'll just wing it as usual. What about you?" She felt slightly anxious asking the question, as though her friend, her ally, might change her mind about supporting her after all.

"I'm not sure yet. It'll probably be a bit suspicious if I disappear for the day too. Don't worry, I'll think of something. You nervous?"

"No, should I be?"

"I don't know; I've never been married."

"I'm not nervous," she said. "I'm excited." It wasn't the whole truth, but it wasn't a lie either. She felt a keen sense of trepidation at the requirement for deceit, but a warm glow spread through her whenever she thought of finally being Frank's wife, even if only a few select people could know about it.

"Are you going to tell Meadows? Once it's done, I mean?" Viv asked, as they made their way back to the table.

"No idea," she replied. "One minute Frank's all for it, the next he changes his mind. I can't keep up. I suppose we'll just see how the land lies once the dust has settled a bit." Arriving back to where the others were waiting put paid to any more wedding conversation. As far as Norika, Cathy and June were concerned, it was a girls' night out prompted, for no other reason, than the fact it had been a long time since they had had one. In fact, if she thought about it, the last time would have been the night she and Matthew had stumbled upon the sexual assault in the street. The night she had slapped Frank across the face in front of everyone. It wasn't exactly a night she cared to remember too often. Of course, on that occasion, she had been as willing as the others, to a degree, to court male attention and she wasn't quite sure how she would react if this night went the same way as that one.

"You look worried," June commented as she sat down next to her. "What's up?"

"Nothing," she replied cheerfully, "I'm great."

June regarded her carefully. "Nothing you want to tell us then?"

"Like what?"

"I don't know, anything."

She took a sip of her drink for distraction and then fixed her friend with her best casual look. "Honestly, there's nothing to tell."

"Look," June sidled closer to her. "I know what it's like to feel as though all that's stretching before you is an empty road. I mean when thing ended between me and Gordon, and that wasn't yesterday, I wasn't sure what to do with myself."

"I'm fine, really. I don't feel bad about being divorced. After everything that happened with Stewart, trust me, I'm not in mourning for our marriage not anymore."

"Well, I wasn't really thinking about Stewart actually."

"No?" she took another sip, well aware of what June had meant, but reluctant to open the door for conversation about it.

"No.

"Well, it's over, so there's no need to worry about it, is there?"

"Yeah, but…I think we both know that neither of you wanted it to be over, I mean, Gordon was never going to leave his wife and I wouldn't have really wanted him to but…well…your situation was different, wasn't it?"

She looked at her friend again, trying to gauge whether she was being led into a trap, or whether the concern was, in fact, genuine. She decided to turn it slightly on its head, aware that she had never really asked anyone, beyond Viv, what their opinion had been of what had happened between them. "What was the talk at the time amongst the relief?"

"Well…a bit of shock if I'm being honest. About you that is, not Burnside. I think everyone thought that you and Stewart were pretty solid, but they all knew what the DI was like when it came to women. I think, certainly initially, a lot of people thought he'd taken advantage of you. Many probably still do."

"But you don't?"

June paused. "Do you remember that time I came into the CID portacabin when the station was being refurbished and I said that I wouldn't like to be alone with the DI? You jumped down my throat, told me he would never do anything like what I was suggesting."

She felt her face flame slightly, "Yes, I remember, but that was a long time before anything happened between us."

"I know that but, well, looking back after I found out about you, I realised that you probably had feelings for him back then. And then other things started to make sense, like the way I sometimes saw him looking at you, or how you looked at him. Then, after you were stabbed and it all came out, I mean…well…Dave and Steve said he was distraught when he found you at the house…"

"And so, you concluded what?"

"That it wasn't just an affair. That you loved each other. That you would have been together, stayed together, if there hadn't been all the rules and regulations stopping you." June peered at her. "Am I right?"

She didn't know how to feel. On the one hand, it seemed ludicrous listening to the other woman pontificating over the supposed end of her relationship with a man that she was, in fact, destined to marry in seven days times. On the other, it felt poignant that someone had actually recognised the true depth of their feelings for one another and wasn't hellbent on giving her a hard time about it. "It's complicated," she settled on.

"I can understand that." June paused again. "I'm sorry."

"For what?"

"That you can't be together, if it's what you would have wanted."

It was tempting, so very tempting to just tell her the truth, but she knew it would be the wrong thing to do. Having too many people aware of what was going on was dangerous and, more than that, she knew Frank would go ballistic if he found out that she had told anyone else without consulting with him first. "Well, like I said, it's over now, but thanks."

At that point, Norika started talking about something else and she was grateful for the turn the conversation took. She knew that, deep down, she was a terrible liar and the last thing she wanted was to give anything away. But June's words had struck a chord, she always having assumed that everyone in the station had viewed the revelation about her and Frank in the same way as Viv, Jim and some of the others had; that it was something wrong, something to be ashamed of and that she had been a victim of a man's ruthlessness. It was comforting to realise that perhaps there had been some people rooting for them after all, even though that was no indicator as to how they might react were they to learn the truth.

Twenty minutes later, she excused herself from the table and headed over to the payphone on the wall by the door of the bar. Sliding in some change, she dialled his number, glad when he picked up on the third ring.

"It's only me," she said after his greeting.

"I can barely hear you," he replied. "You still in the bar?"

"Yeah, we're having a good time."

"Been sniffed by any blokes yet?"

"No," she laughed, "not yet anyway."

"Yeah well, be careful."

"I will." She paused. "I just wanted to say that I love you."

"What?"

"I wanted to say that I love you!" she yelled over the din.

"Are you pissed?"

"Do I have to be pissed to tell you I love you?"

"No, course not. I love you too." It was his turn to pause. "What are you wearing?"

"What?" she stuck a finger in her free ear.

"I said, what are you wearing?"

"A dress."

"What kind of dress?"

"A short one," she replied, grinning.

"Very nice. Pop over when you're done if you feel like it."

"I might just do that. I'll talk to you later."

"Well, like I said, be careful."

"I will. I love you!" she hung up the phone before he could reply, laughing in the process, visions of herself turning up at his door and engaging him in sweaty, drunken sex flooding her brain, heightened by the alcohol already in her bloodstream. She turned around from the phone, intending to make her way back over to the table, only to find June standing behind her, clearly having heard every word. "Christ!" she exclaimed. "You startled me!"

"I thought you'd got lost," the other woman replied. "I came to make sure that you were all right."

"Well, I'm fine, as you can see. You fancy another drink?" she gestured to the bar, hoping to throw her off whatever scent she thought she had picked up. "Maybe we could get a shot when the others aren't looking."

"Who was that on the phone?"

"Nobody." June raised her eyebrows. "It's not what you think." Panic shot through her. "Look, come on, I'll get you another drink…"

"It was him, wasn't it? It was Burnside."

"No…"

"Come on Chris, it's written all over your face!"

"I don't know…I don't know what you mean…"

"You and him…you're still together, aren't you? Well, aren't you?"

June was staring intently at her now and she felt like a criminal, weighed down by the other woman's gaze, trapped in a corner with no other option but to admit everything. "Yes, but…"

"Oh my God…"

"But wait, please June, please listen!" she said urgently. "You can't…you can't say anything…you can't…"

"Who else knows?!"

"No-one…well, no-one except Viv…"

"Viv?!"

"Please, please June!" she took hold of friend's shoulders. "Please, you can't say anything! We'll be in so much trouble after everything that came out last year! I'll probably be transferred; Frank won't get his promotion…"

"What promotion?"

"DCI. The boards are in October, and you know as well as I do that he's destined for it…please…please don't say anything."

June remained silent for a long moment, the cacophony of sounds from the bar swirling around them as their gazes remained locked. "Everything I said at the table was true then. You love each other, want to be together…" She nodded. "So, all this time…?"

"No, no it only started again about four months ago and before that it was…" she struggled to find a word to encapsulate the nature of the pattern of their relationship and found herself wanting. "I mean it's…it's private, it's…no-one else can know."

June nodded slowly. "I won't say anything. I won't even let on to Viv that I know. This is what you want?" She nodded again as June stepped forward and pulled her into hug. "Then I'm very, very happy for you."

It felt so strange, being congratulated on something that was meant to be so secret, so under the table, so taboo. Viv's feelings had always been smothered in disapproval but June…June understood. She didn't know why she would have considered that she wouldn't, given her relationship with Gordon. Perhaps it should have been June that she'd confided in instead, perhaps she might have received more support and felt more sure of her own decisions. "We're getting married," she said suddenly, before she could stop herself.

"What?!" June gasped and pulled back. "Married?! When?!"

"Next week."

"But you just got divorced!"

"I know. I know it might seem crazy but…I love him, June, and he loves me, and I know what people think about him but…"

"It doesn't matter what people think about him, does it? It's what you think that counts. I know people thought Gordon was a shit for cheating on his wife with me, and I don't feel great about it, but their opinions don't count. Like I said, if this is what you want, I'm very happy for you."

"Thank you," she said, feeling her eyes well up. "It means a lot."

"What's going on?" Viv suddenly appeared beside them. "We were starting to think you'd both got lost."

She didn't trust herself to speak, given the huge lump that had formed in her throat, not to mention Viv's potential reaction if she found out that June was privy to the secret too.

"Chris was just about to buy us all another drink," June replied with easy divergence. "You fancy another?"

Viv glanced between them, and she could tell the other woman suspected something but, to her credit, simply nodded. "Is the Pope Catholic?"

19 July

The relentless sound of the buzzer woke him from a dreamless sleep, and it took time for him to unfurl himself from the tangle of bedclothes and make his way to the front door. When he opened it, he found her lounging against the doorframe, one finger hooked in the left strap of her dress, her other hand pulling the skirts up her thighs.

"Good evening sir, in the market for a bit of business tonight?"

"Get in before someone sees you," he said, taking her arm and pulling her gently inside. "What time do you call this?"

"You told me to pop over when I was done with the girls."

"I thought you might have been here before midnight at least. What time is it?"

"I have no idea," she wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him. "But if you'd rather I go…"

"No, of course not." He felt his body react to her. "You look very sexy, even if you are drunk."

"Drunk and wanton," she kissed him again, her hand sliding down his chest to his underpants. "Mmmm…what do we have here?" His breath hitched in his throat as she stroked his shaft. "Someone seems very pleased to see me." Before he could say anything, she slid downwards, her gaze locked on his, slowly pulled away the offending material and took him in her mouth. He watched transfixed as she fellated him, her lips running up and down his length and he swept her hair away from her face to provide a clearer view as she took him as far back in her throat as she could, though spots danced in his vision.

"You'll have to stop if you want me inside you," he heard himself say.

"Who said I want you inside me?" she mumbled, increasing the pressure on him by adding her hand to the base of his cock and stroking it firmly in rhythm with her mouth.

"Shit." His hand went to the back of her head as he felt himself spasm. "Shit, shit, shit…" His mind suddenly went blank as he came, unsure how he remained on his feet as he bucked against her. Gamely, she never moved from her position, her mouth remaining fixedly over him as he unloaded, her hands moving to his waist to steady them both as he slowed before she pulled back and rocked on her heels.

"Something tells me you enjoyed that," she smiled wickedly.

"Well, it's not every day a woman turns up at your front door with the seeming sole intention of sucking your cock," he replied breathlessly. "You're good."

"I like doing it to you," she replied, rising to her feet and sliding her arms around his waist. "Guv."

"Well, if the notion ever takes you when we're at work…"

"We've already had sex there, so I doubt a blow job would be too much of a stretch. Mind if I use the loo?"

"Help yourself." He wandered into the kitchen and waited for her to return. "Good night, was it?"

"Yeah, really good," she replied, wiping her mouth.

"Any talent?"

"None that looked my way anyway."

"I'm glad to hear it," he stepped forwards and put his arms around him again. "I can get quite jealous you know."

"Oh, I know," she laughed. "The last girls' night out I went on you got all bent out of shape because I had coffee with Matt Boyden."

"Don't remind me. Anyway, in a week's time you'll be my wife and you won't legally be able to look at anyone else."

"Not that you're possessive."

"Not at all." He kissed her again. "Do you want a coffee, seeing as you've woken me up at…two am."

She glanced at the clock and grimaced slightly. "Oops, sorry. Go on then." He turned to the kettle, conscious of her hovering behind him. "Ummm…."

"What?"

"Don't be angry." He turned back to look at her. "June…umm…June might know about us."

Disbelief shot through him. "Tell me you're not serious."

"I…umm…well…"

"Christina, please tell me that you are not serious!"

She shifted nervously in front of him. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean for her to find out but, well, she overheard me on the phone to you earlier and she put two and two together…"

"Brilliant."

"She was happy for us!"

"Oh, I bet she was! I bet she went running off to tell as many of the relief as she could find!"

"No, she didn't, and she won't! Look, June understands, way more than Viv or any of the others ever could."

"And how do you make that out?"

"Well, because of her and Gordon of course."

He sighed heavily and closed his eyes, once more irritated by the insinuation that he was anything like Gordon Wray. "I'm not even going to dignify that comparison with a response," he replied acerbically. "Is that why you came here tonight? Why you got down on your knees? To soften me up before telling me?"

"Did it work?"

The kettle whistled and he turned away, angrily flicking it off. "How could you be so stupid?"

"I'm sorry!" she exclaimed, "but it was an accident!"

"You could have told her you were talking to anyone on the phone! A new boyfriend or a relative or…I don't know, anyone other than me!"

"Ok, yes, I could have, but I didn't. I'm sorry. It's done now though, so I don't know what you expect me to do! I can't change the fact that she knows, but I swore her to secrecy!"

He dumped coffee into two mugs and then poured the water in. "So, any time I need to give her orders in the future, or give her a bollocking for something, I'm going to have to deal with her smiling knowingly at me, am I? At the fact she's got some secret to hold over my head? Her and Viv?"

"June isn't like that. Besides, you were the one who was banging on about us needing to tell Meadows."

"Well, we're going to have to now, aren't we?" He stirred the mugs viciously and then turned back to face her.

She blinked, "What?"

"Viv knows we're getting married, June knows we're getting married, Ted knows we're together at least, Jim was niggling me at your dad's funeral…"

"Niggling?"

"Asking me did I wish things could be different so I could be with you…"

"You never told me that."

"How long before he twigs and then everyone else does, even if June does keep quiet?" He held out a mug to her and she took it from him gingerly.

"That doesn't mean that we have to tell Meadows now, does it? I mean, the promotion board's coming up in October and if he does anything…I wouldn't want you not to get DCI because of me."

"Like I said before, if the board do have to know, maybe it's better they know we're married."

"But the last conversation we had about it we said that we'd wait until after we were married and then make a decision about telling Meadows!"

"Well, maybe we need to make a new plan on the back of you not being able to keep your mouth shut!" She looked away and he instantly softened his tone. "Look, I'm not suggesting this as some sort of punishment, but maybe it's just the right way forwards. You obviously felt some sort of relief in June finding out and being supportive about it."

"Yes, but…"

"Who knows, maybe Meadows will end up surprising us." She looked at him doubtfully. "Look, we're going to have to do it at some point and it's better he finds out from us than from whispers round the nick, don't you think?" She said nothing. "What's the worst that could happen?"

"The worst that could happen is that one or both of us gets shipped out! Careers ruined! You stuck at DI forever; me God knows what…" she ran a hand over her face. "At least if we wait until we're married then we've got that to fall back on."

"It's not as if he can stop us getting married."

"I know that, but it's only a week. Can't we just wait and see how we feel? What if something happens between now and then and we end up not getting married?"

He frowned, "Why wouldn't we?"

"I don't know, I just…please. Please can we just wait until it's all official?"

"I'm not about to back out of this, us getting married, if that's what you're worrying about."

"It's not and I know you're not. Neither am I. I suppose…" she smiled sheepishly. "I suppose having our bosses know just seems so much more frightening than having friends know."

"There's nothing to be frightened of," he said, pulling her into his arms again. "Whatever happens, we're always going to have each other, right?" She nodded. "Besides, I'm too good an officer for them to get rid of and you're not half bad yourself."

"Modesty being your strong suit, of course."

"Of course," he kissed her, his hands straying to the hem of her dress. "Now, how about we stop thinking about the job or Meadows and retire to the bedroom to let me repay your kind favour?" It took little persuasion for her to melt into him and allow him to propel her to his bed. By the time he had undressed her and kissed all the sensitive parts of her body, she was so desperate for his intimate touch that she orgasmed within mere minutes before burying herself against him.

"Will we still have as much good sex once we're married?" she asked after several minutes silence.

"Why wouldn't we?"

"Well, what was your sex life like with Julie after you got married?"

He thought back briefly. "It was all right."

"Just all right?"

"Well, we had other problems which meant we weren't always inclined to have sex with each other." He paused. "What about you and Stewart?"

"I was seventeen what I got married so it was pretty much just the same as before."

He wasn't quite sure what she was trying to get at. "Well, I can't see why our sex life could get any worse once we're married, can you?"

"No, I suppose not."

"I like having sex with you."

"I like having sex with you too."

"Well then. No problem." She pulled back to look at him and he could see uncertainty in her eyes. "I promise, everything is going to be all right, no matter what happens." She nodded and he pulled her to him again. It was his job to make sure that everything was going to be all right. He would have to handle Meadows, the promotion board, the Met, all of them.

And he would have to make sure that she was always protected.