The Royal Court of Eibon,
I must thank you all dearly for your patience these past few months as I understand how difficult it can be to communicate through a third party. His majesty Wesley has done a wonderful job, I believe, and between you and I, I am proud to see that Cinder will have such a strong leader in the years to come. I do believe leaving the crown in his hands will be the best decision we could ever make.
Again, I must apologize for not writing myself all this time. Wes has been very adamant about my recovery process and resting.
In regards to your most recent page, however; I must highly disagree with this plan thus far. Keeping Maka in the dark, in my opinion, is not worth it. I understand that her recovery process so far has been just as rocky and you fear putting pressure onto her, but I don't believe she'd be the type to just run from something like this. I don't want to scare her away with such a proposal, but if she truly isn't ready for something like this, I am sure we can all understand. I do not want this to be seen as just a political scheme, and if she were to believe that, I would be truly heartbroken.
I hope to send a letter to her soon, with your permission, of course. Until then, please reconsider the terms of the agreement you have spoken thus far with Wes.
With much appreciation, King Solomon.
The first week of March came marching in without warning. With March came more uncertainties- more sleepless nights- more meals eaten alone. But, most of all, with March came spring.
After the conversation she'd had with her father, Maka had done her damn best to avoid speaking to her parents again. She'd arrive at dinners in utter silence, brush off their conversations like the plague, and as soon as her dish was finished, she was gone.
Hero had scolded her after the first two nights she'd done so, saying it was "highly inappropriate" how she was acting. As he'd put it, "A proper Princess deals with the thick and thin, Maka. I understand that right now isn't the best time to be thinking of such things, but please, you must focus on other things at hand- like preparing for the ball- and getting up on your studies. When was the last time you brushed up on our kingdom's policies? Are you even-"
Frankly, Maka had tuned him out pretty fast and after that encounter, Hero was not allowed back into her bedroom.
As best as she could put it, for the past week, Maka felt like she was back at stage one all over again.
Was it fair for all of this to affect her so much? It'd been months now, shouldn't she have been able to move on?
Each night, she remembered the putrid smell of blood on her tongue- remembered the sight of thick red blood trickling down once beautifully tanned skin- remembered seeing wounds so deep to the bone and heads snapped at uneven angles-
Some moorings, she'd wake up with bile rising in her throat and tears pricking at her eyes. Other mornings, she'd sit still as a plank in her bed, her skin itching- telling her to get up and do something- telling her that she needed to get herself together and stop wallowing in her own despair- telling her she needed to get her fucking act together because she was starting to look rather pathetic-
All she did was bare her eyes shut on those days and pretend that life wasn't existent.
It was so hard to just pretend life was normal again. It was so hard to ignore the belongings that littered her desk- all of which were not her own. It was so hard to pretend that for a month straight, Soul had been there the whole time. Each time she'd step out onto the balcony, she could almost feel his presence beside her. Each time she glanced over to her dresser, knowing well enough that two cloaks hung which didn't belong, she knew something was missing.
Wes had yet to write back to her yet.
She'd yet to hear from Soul.
She was certain she knew what the letter that had been sent to the court had been about now. Cinder and Eibon had to separate all their ties, didn't they? Maybe Soul had changed his mind. Maybe he wanted to stay in Cinder permanently- maybe Wes had been lying, saying he wasn't happy there.
When she voiced these worries to Blackstar, curled up at the foot of her bed with the palms of her hands dug harshly into her cheeks, the knight had scoffed.
"You really believe they'd want to keep you two apart? You know Soul wouldn't let that happen," He'd said with confidence, "Soul doesn't give up on things easily, Maka."
Even so, Maka found no comfort in Blackstar's words.
There had been a few times Maka had acted purely out of instinct- very, very few times.
Usually, Maka could pride herself in being at least level-headed. When she had a plan, she'd think it out thoroughly before initiating. If anything, those skills could be confirmed with how she'd treated Soul in the first two weeks of them knowing one another and how she'd worked Crona down to just make them take her out for a walk.
But today, she was not thinking at all.
The moment she'd woken up, a sob trapped in the back of her throat and a cold sweat dripping down her back, her eyes had landed onto Souls book on her desk, having been untouched since the last time she'd broken down tiredly at her desk.
It had been at that very moment she decided that the castle felt suffocating and that she needed to leave in that very instant.
With tears cascading down her cheeks, Maka had hurriedly untangled herself from her sheets and tripped over to her wardrobe. With trembling hands and her hair in her eyes, she'd swung open the doors of the wardrobe, plucking the plainest clothes she had and one of the familiar cloaks from it.
In seconds, she was changed, hopping around her room with belated breaths as she pulled her shoes on.
She'd never made a decision so fast before- it was so unlike her, but honestly, she had no care anymore. She just needed to get far away- far from the castle- far from the memories that were threatening to tear her apart limb by limb.
With familiarity, she packed a bag, pulling a pocket knife she had hidden away somewhere in her room into it, and with saddened weakness, the book from her desk.
A moment she stayed- lingering- eyes tracing the book.
Her heartbeat echoed in her ears as she stuffed the book into the bag, her heart ached as she did.
"I'm sorry," she had said, her hands gripping at the bag so harsh that her knuckles turned white, "I love you."
A quiet admission made to no one but herself and the still air around her. A quiet admission that wouldn't leave the confinements of her room. A quiet admission she knew she needed to make before she could let go.
Drying the tears from her eyes, she stumbled out her bedroom door, her hand reaching out for the brick wall of the staircase. Even with trembling legs, she practically flew down the staircase like she was running for her life, her eyes set on the window at the bottom.
She hadn't touched that window since the night she and Soul had stumbled back into the castle from Loew, but even so, without any sort of care she threw the window up loud enough for the sound to echo around her.
Without another thought, she heaved a leg over the ledge, grabbing onto the top of the window with shaking fingers.
She just needed time- just a moment of fresh air- just a moment away from everything- She'd feel guilty about it- but would it matter anymore?
Did anything matter anymore?
The moment she'd been ready to jump down to the grass below her, the corridor door had slammed open, revealing her guard. Blackstar stood there with his lips parted, his hands wrapped around his sword with panic. And even as their eyes locked, Maka couldn't find herself feeling the slightest bit of guilt.
"Leave with me, Blackstar," She'd said quietly, "Just for now."
Maka,
I wish I could have sent this sooner. I must have drafted this letter over and over again, but truly, I don't think I could find the right words. I still can't. There's no amount of words I can write on paper that'll ever convey how I feel, but I think that's okay, for now.
I promise, finally, that I'll come back to you. I should have promised that night too, because always, I'll come back to you.
You know how I always told you I wanted to be a poet? Well, not actually, but I am sure you know what I am getting at, right? Regardless; if I had the choice, I would always make sure I come back to you, Maka. Even if you don't want me the same way I still want you, I'd give the world to you regardless. If I had to, I would give my title a thousand times over just to protect you. I would go through that hellous guard training for you a thousand times.
This world is dark. It's tried drowning me in the darkness time and time again, but for the first time, I feel like I've finally found the sunlight. You're my sun.
I can't wait to see you again. I've been counting down the days.
Love, Soul.
