A/N: Takes place between Chapters 27 & 28 of I'd Eat Your Heart.
This is a different sort of smut chapter; it's really not spicy so much as it is capturing the awkwardness and miscommunication that can occur particularly at the beginning of a sexual relationship. Rang ends up being pretty uncomfortable with what is happening at one point, and that begins about halfway through the chapter when Ga Eul starts kissing him and the theme pretty much continues until the end. I promise, the chapter doesn't end on a bad note, but I mention this in case it would be difficult for someone to read a situation where one person doesn't like what's happening but they don't tell the other person to stop, ultimately leading to some hurt feelings, which is basically what happens in this scene.
Tags: hurt/comfort; angst and discomfort regarding a sexual situation; masturbation; references to vaginal sex, oral sex, rough sex, and hand jobs; (brief) sex dream; innuendo; touching; a lot of discussion about sex; really brief references to past trauma (not of a sexual nature); references to dom/sub dynamics
If that didn't scare you away, here's the chapter! :)
To Rang's delight, Ga Eul had decided to stay at his apartment the entire week, and this suited him just fine. Unfortunately, this did not mean that from the time he picked her up from school to the time she went to bed, he had her undivided attention. There was always some work to be done for the next day, and frankly, Rang didn't understand this human concept at all. He thought the idea of going to work should mean that one went to work and came back, leaving their work wherever it was, but Ga Eul insisted that she had to do some things in the evenings, so after dinner he let her do whatever she wanted, and later they cuddled and fooled around until it was time for her to go to sleep.
Perhaps he wasn't being a very good pet, but it had only taken Rang an entire day to crack and bring up the subject of Saturday's activities—partly because of his sky-high libido and partly because he felt as though he'd been given a shiny new toy to play with, and...well...Rang wanted to play. If he couldn't get any more new toys at the moment, so to speak—he was trying not to push Ga Eul too far in her delicate state—he at least wanted to play with the ones he had. From what he could tell, humans liked drawn-out progressions, where something was accomplished or gained through a lengthy series of steps. Like the concept of dating that Ga Eul had explained to him, which sounded tiresome and was tiresome, except for the fact that he was doing it with Ga Eul.
He'd been trying to think of their relationship as a video game; he had to beat each level before he could continue on to the next. Still, Rang thought if this was a video game and he was currently on level 'tonguing Ga Eul's clit until she cums,' shouldn't he be allowed to do just that?
So even though, for the entirety of Sunday, Ga Eul hadn't mentioned what they'd done on Saturday, he felt that someone had to. Having no previous experience with humans, he didn't know if foxes were more direct than humans or if Ga Eul was simply that shy, but either way, someone had to say it. Someone had to ask if Rang could feast on Ga Eul's delicious cunt every night, and that someone was him.
As they were preparing for bed on Sunday, he'd asked her, point blank, if he could do exactly that, and she'd stammered around in front of the bathroom mirror where she'd just finished brushing her teeth, adorably flustered, but eventually she'd said 'uh, um, okay.'
'Really?!' he'd said, hugging her from behind.
'What about nine o'clock?' she'd shyly suggested. 'After I finish my work?'
'Okay!' he'd agreed, kissing her cheek and squeezing her until she said she couldn't breathe.
'Rang-ahhh, I can't breathe!' she'd said, and he'd responded that if she could talk she could breathe, but of course, he'd let her go, as he always did.
Rang liked living with Ga Eul.
He liked kissing her every night. He liked cuddling with her every morning until she begged to be set free so she could get ready for school. He liked watching her cook. He liked eating her food. He liked picking her up from school.
He didn't like driving her to school but only because school began at such an ungodly hour. Why couldn't it start at eight in the evening instead of eight in the morning?
Oh. But then Ga Eul would be unavailable for what he was about to do to her. He guessed that wouldn't work well either.
School shouldn't exist.
Except...Ga Eul seemed to like it, so...he guessed it could continue to exist. But not now because it was precisely nine o'clock at night—time for Rang to do what he'd been waiting to do all day.
In the black t-shirt and gray sweatpants he'd been lounging in, Rang crept down the hallway to the guest bedroom. On Monday, Ga Eul had decided to try using the desk he'd set up for her, and she'd been doing her work in there up till today, Wednesday. As he entered the room, he saw her sitting at the desk, busily scribbling something on a piece of paper. She wore a pair of pink and blue plaid pajamas and had her glossy copper hair pulled back with a blue and white plaid headband which featured a little bow that rested atop her head. He'd never seen Ga Eul wear a headband until recently, although she'd told him she used to wear them a lot when she was a student. He supposed the style was schoolgirlish, but it suited her. He could imagine her as a little girl wearing headbands decorated with bows and flowers, picked to match her dresses. She had probably been cute back then, the cutest human child.
Then Rang remembered that he might have seen her when she was a kid, and he would have looked exactly the same age as he did now. That was an odd thought, especially considering what he was about to do with her, so he put it out of his mind.
Halting directly behind Ga Eul's chair, he smiled when she didn't notice him, absorbed as she was in...whatever she was working on. As he leaned in towards her, he noted the scent of her floral shampoo, lingering from that morning.
"It's nine o'clock," he said in her ear.
Ga Eul's shoulders jerked up, and she gasped, looking behind her.
"Oh my...You scared me! How did you…" She trailed off, and Rang cocked his head.
"Never mind," she finished.
"It's nine o'clock," he repeated.
"I know. I know. I'm sorry, but could you give me five more minutes?" Ga Eul held up one hand and wiggled her fingers.
"It's nine."
"I know. I just have to finish this page."
Ga Eul held up the piece of paper she'd been writing on and gave him an apologetic look.
Rang stared at the paper, which he couldn't make sense of, then back at her, who didn't make sense either. Nine was nine. A promise was a promise. A promise to a fox was a double promise, a triple promise even.
However, Ga Eul did this pleading thing with her eyes and said "please," and Rang screwed his face up, disgusted by how adorable she was and how weak he was. A pet.
"Please, Rang?" She cocked her head and twirled a strand of hair around her finger.
Stop it. Stop that. Don't look cute.
Ga Eul bit down on her perfectly kissable bottom lip, the one he liked to suck on.
I said stop!
"Five minutes," he commanded, pointing at the paper. "Not a second more."
"Not even one second?" Ga Eul asked.
"Not even half a second."
Ga Eul smiled.
"What about a millisecond?"
"Ah, just get going already." He gestured to the collection of office supplies on Ga Eul's desk. "You know where to find me." Spinning on his heel, Rang marched out of the room. Ga Eul's laughter followed him down the hall and into the kitchen, where he paused to preemptively pour two glasses of water, both for Ga Eul, since she was an irritating, fragile human who dehydrated easily. Then he marched the glasses of water into his bedroom and set them down on the nightstand on Ga Eul's side of the bed—forcefully, uncaring if the water sloshed over the sides.
'Please, Rang,' he mimicked, flopping onto the bed.
How dare she be so persuasive. So infuriatingly bewitching. She wasn't a fox. She didn't get to do that!
The most awful part was that he didn't even think she was trying to be seductive most of the time. She just was. Was something. Not human, that was for sure. Not a fox either. Foxes had to try. She didn't even have to try.
So when she did try, like just now, with those pitiful eyes, he kind of wanted to strangle her, and sadly, she was the one human in the world he couldn't strangle. And Kim Soo-oh, of course.
And Nam Ji Ah, unfortunately.
At least, she'd agreed to his request.
Rang closed his eyes and sighed, remembering Ga Eul's intoxicating scent, her soft smiles and nervous giggles; since Saturday, he'd gotten to undress her every night, unwinding the clothes from her body piece by piece, down the to the last scrap of fabric between her silken thighs. He could still feel her delicate skin under his fingertips, her pulse fluttering under his mouth…
As his daydream progressed, his mouth watered; his fingers clenched and released; his cock twitched in anticipation. Living with Ga Eul—getting to touch her and kiss her anywhere he wanted every night—was like eating azalea flowers for lunch every day.
No.
Better than azaleas.
Speaking of which, where was Ga Eul?
Rang opened his eyes and glanced over at the clock on his nightstand.
9:12 PM, it read.
Rang frowned.
He'd been good all day. He wanted his dessert.
Huffing, he rolled over on his side and gathered himself into a ball. He wished he had Ga Eul's soft, warm body to form a ball around. He made several noises of discontent.
As if summoned there by his thoughts, Ga Eul appeared through the doorway to his bedroom.
"Sorry about that," she said sheepishly, tucking her hair behind her ear. "It took me longer than I expected."
Rang scooted over and patted the spot next to him on the bed. Ga Eul sat down cross-legged, facing him.
"Hi," she said, smiling.
Rang tugged on a strand of her hair.
"You're twelve minutes late. That means you owe me twelve extra minutes of cuddling."
"Oh?" Ga Eul's eyes sparkled with humor. "Would you like those now or later?"
Rang considered.
"Later. If you lay down, I can kiss you now," he urged, his excitement stirring.
"Actually…" Ga Eul began, fiddling with the cuff of her pajama shirt, "I'm a little sore, um, down there from all the, you know...Maybe we could take a break for a day or two? Just from that."
"Sore?" Rang wondered aloud, realizing abruptly that it wasn't only Ga Eul's neck that took a while to heal.
Ah. Well, that was disappointing, but...of course, he didn't want his little human to be in pain.
"Okay," he answered.
"Okay?" she clarified, with an expression of surprise.
Rang shrugged.
"I'm your pet. You can always say 'no' to me if you want. What's that look for?"
"Nothing." Ga Eul shook her head, seeming relieved. "I just thought you'd be more...sulky...about it."
"I don't sulk."
"You do sulk. You sulk all the time. Like a baby. Instead of a pet fox, I should call you my baby fox."
"Your baby…" Rang narrowed his eyes. "I don't sulk," he repeated. "I'm a nine-tailed fox, and the world owes me a lot of favors."
"Favors?" Ga Eul seemed amused by this. "Favors for what?"
"Things!"
Ga Eul laughed, not grasping the seriousness of the situation, as usual. She was so terribly human. Foxes were divine creatures; certainly the world should owe them favors.
"Well, in any event, I don't owe you any favors. You said so yourself, so there's no reason for you to sulk around me."
"I won't!"
"Okay," Ga Eul said, in a tone that indicated she didn't believe him at all. She laughed once more to herself, and he asked her what was so funny.
"Mm, nothing. I just remembered what the gatekeeper of the Samdo River said, about you having no shame. He was right."
"Of course, he was right. Why should I have shame? What would I gain from that, exactly? Nothing. I'm only interested if I can get something out of it."
Ga Eul held his gaze for a moment, then looked down at the bed.
"Well, I know that's not true," she noted quietly.
Rang wasn't sure what she meant by that and would have protested, but she didn't give him the chance.
"So I thought...we could do something different tonight."
"Different? Like what?" Rang perked up.
"Um…" Ga Eul bit her lip. She stayed quiet for a moment, then blurted out, "Don't you want something?"
Rang blinked, puzzled.
Did he want something? Of course, he wanted something! What had he been waiting all day for?!
"I mean, um"—Ga Eul gestured helplessly—"you've been doing things for me. Is there something I can do for you?" She gave him an uncertain look, and it took him a moment, but he finally realized what she was trying to say in the vaguest way possible. "I mean," she continued when he didn't answer right away, "I don't really know what to do, but maybe you can teach me?" Her voice rose at the end, punctuating the statement as a question.
It was funny. Rang had been so caught up in wanting to do things to Ga Eul, he hadn't given too much thought to her doing things to him. He certainly hadn't expected her to ask, unprompted, what she could do for him when really she could have continued receiving orgasms until the end of the week without having to do anything. As someone who liked to take things, that was what Rang would have done. Just take and take as long as he could away with it. But not Ga Eul. Of course not. Ga Eul was a giver. He should have known she would ask, innocent and bewildered as she was.
Unfortunately, he couldn't remember the last time he had to teach someone what to do—or rather, how to do it—during a tryst; he certainly couldn't remember the last time he was with someone who didn't know basics. Most of the foxes Rang had played around with had decades to hundreds of years of experience, and as a general rule, he liked partners who didn't require hand-holding, as Rang had neither the patience for it nor the interest in doing so. He found novices boring and exhausting, and Ga Eul was young. So young. Twenty-seven.
But she was special, and he'd promised to take care of her and teach her things. And Ga Eul's face was turning redder by the second; he should really be a good pet fox and put her out of her misery.
"Of course, I can teach you," he said, "but you have to be more specific." Rang sat up so he could face her easily, crossing his legs to match her position. "What exactly do you want to learn to do? Love bites?" he teased. "I think you were almost getting the hang of them earlier."
A lie. She most definitely was not improving in that area. While it was technically true that she wouldn't be able to mark him, if she tried hard enough, she would see the tiniest bit of discoloration before the faint bruise disappeared within seconds.
"Uh, well, I want to learn what you like. So…" Ga Eul chewed her lip; she stared at the hem of her shirt sleeve, the one she kept picking at. "I wanted to learn...how to...give you an orgasm." She rushed out the last part of her sentence, then glanced up at him shyly.
"You mean you want to make me cum?" Rang clarified.
Ga Eul nodded slowly.
"You're cute." Rang smiled. "But you have to be more specific."
"What do you mean?" Ga Eul paled.
"What's your weapon of choice? Your hands?" He tugged on her finger. "Your mouth?" He traced her bottom lip with his thumb, then grinned as he slipped his fingers into the waistband of her pajama pants. "Your—"
"Hands!" Ga Eul interrupted, and he removed his fingers. "Hands," she repeated sheepishly.
Hands. Of course, it was hands. Rang hated hand jobs.
Not from himself, obviously, but from other people, definitely. They never got into the right rhythm or used the correct amount of pressure, and most foxes who tried to do that to him were attempting to exert some amount of control over him, and he hated feeling manipulated for any reason. It was hard to take control over another person's hands on his cock. Blow jobs were another story; he could easily twist that into an exercise in fucking his partner's throat. In fact, he only allowed blow jobs if he got to be in charge and if he got to cum down his partner's throat or on their face or somewhere else on their body.
But he couldn't imagine putting Ga Eul in a position like that, and he supposed it couldn't hurt to let her use her hands once. If he focused on teaching her—only on teaching her—maybe he could get through it. It was the most logical place to start from, and surely this would help move them along in a direction Rang wanted to go. Maybe he'd reach another level in this game he was playing. This game with infinite levels and no way to tell what the next level would require.
Humans were exhausting beings.
"Hands it is then," Rang acquiesced, stretching out on the bed and resting his hands on his stomach.
Looking over at Ga Eul, he instructed, "If you want to use your hands, you should start by taking my clothes off."
"All of them?"
Rang nodded.
"Oh, okay." Ga Eul crept up the bed and snaked her hands underneath his t-shirt, then tugged it over his head. His skin tingled as her hands slid up his stomach and chest.
He waited for her to take his pants off as well, but instead she hovered over him and asked, "Can I kiss you?"
He cracked a smile.
"You don't need permission for that."
"Ah, okay." Ga Eul lowered her eyes, but instead of kissing him on the mouth, as he assumed she would, she wrapped her hand around his throat so that she could tilt his chin at an angle while she kissed his cheek. Then she maneuvered his chin so she could access the side of his neck, then one side of his jaw, then the other side of his jaw. She wasn't gripping him hard—as if she could!—and Rang often did the exact same thing to her—surely, she was copying him—but Rang's first reaction was fear, brought on by years of hunting and being hunted. A switch flipped in his brain, and even though Ga Eul wasn't putting her weight on him, he suddenly felt cornered, lying underneath her. Trapped. She scraped her teeth against his throat, and he felt a knife there. She pressed her thumb into his jaw, and he felt the weight of someone's foot on his neck. But worse than that was his second reaction—when she pulled away, and he could see her face inches from his, he actually found himself being turned on by the idea of submitting to her. It was the sensation he got from her petting his hair or telling him 'good fox' or ordering him to take a photo with her, dialed up times one hundred. Her soft hair formed a canopy around them, and he found his nose flooded with the scent of her shampoo. Azaleas upon azaleas. She pried open his bottom lip with her thumb, and he obediently let her kiss him; suddenly, it felt good to allow her to explore his mouth uninhibited and bat his tongue around at will. The more pressure she put on his jaw, the more his cock ached and stood at attention. She'd kissed him before but not like this, like she owned him.
It scared the hell out of him. What the fuck was happening to his brain?
He wanted to push her off of him, but he found himself frozen. Obliviously, Ga Eul continued kissing him, though she thankfully removed her hand from his throat after some time. He could still only take shallow breaths as she kissed down his throat. When her tongue flicked the dip in his skin at the base of his throat, right above his collarbone, a burst of electricity shot down his spine.
Rang felt even more thrown off balance when Ga Eul began working her way down his chest and stomach, sending him spiraling further into panic. Ga Eul pinched his nipples, and it sent a spark of heat straight to his groin. Then she soothed the hard peaks with her tongue, and he felt his body going limp against his will, responding to her ministrations; his body was telling him to give in, and Rang gave in to no one. Even worse, she kissed the entire length of his scar, which no one bothered with—not wet, open-mouthed kisses like she gave him everywhere else, but gentle pecks, like she was trying to soothe the ancient wound. Her touch was feather-light, like a soft wind, and Rang wasn't accustomed to receiving such gentleness, though he had often craved it. He wanted more of it even while he hated the flood of emotions it unleashed.
If he had outright hated what she was doing, maybe he could have pushed her away, but her lips were so soft, so full of care. He felt drugged. He felt unsettled. Maybe he wasn't in any physical danger, but he was rapidly losing control of the situation.
On some level, Rang understood that Ga Eul was copying him. She was trying to make him feel the way he'd made her feel, and he would have been a proud teacher if her ministrations weren't arousing him so much, like he might beg for her to let him cum. He was okay giving her a little bit of power, like when Lee Yeon would pretend to lose to him at baduk; it was a generous gesture, nothing more. But Rang didn't want to feel the way he'd made her feel. He could give her space or time or the last shred of softness left in him, but he didn't want to be at her mercy.
And so, part of Rang wanted to arch into her touch and remain there forever, while part of him wanted to recoil, to push her away and push her onto her back and roll on top of her and kiss her and make her feel this cavernous, aching want instead of him. He didn't want to want, not like this. Instead, he wanted to tell her that her touches were too timid, that she was taking too long, that she was touching the wrong parts of him. That she was an ignorant human who didn't know what she was doing. Anything to get her to stop making him feel so out of his element. But he couldn't bring himself to snap at her, so he kept his arms rigidly by his sides, balling the bedcovers in his fists. He closed his eyes, but that only made the sensations stronger, so he opened them again and stared straight up at the ceiling.
"Do you like it?" Rang heard Ga Eul's voice as though she were far away, and it took him a moment to drift back to himself.
"What?" he managed.
"Um...you just seem kind of tense. I can stop or do something else," Ga Eul offered, her eyes filled with concern. She'd stopped touching him. And that was the last thing Rang needed—her feeling sorry for him. Rang had taken his brother's sword in his stomach and survived; he ought to be able to take her kissing his scar. If not, how pathetic was he?
"Of course I like it. But I thought you were going to do the other thing." Rang tried to sound teasing. "Quit stalling. I promise my cock doesn't have teeth."
"Oh...okay." Ga Eul laughed nervously. "Sorry."
To his relief, she didn't say anything else but pried the waistband of his sweatpants from his abdomen, and he helped her slide the pants down his hips. Underneath, he wore a matching pair of gray boxer briefs, fitted snugly over the bulge of his cock. Ga Eul's fingertips ghosted over his abdomen as she carefully pulled his underwear down, periodically glancing up at him as if to ensure she was properly undressing him. Her cheeks remained blush-pink, and he could hear the slight unsteadiness in her breathing as she took in the sight of him fully naked for the first time. This did not help his conflicting emotions regarding the situation.
Ga Eul's tongue darted out to wet her lips, and he imagined her drawing her tongue slowly around his shaft, taking him in her mouth for no reason other than she wanted to. Because she wanted him. He bet she would hold him in her mouth and suckle him him so tenderly. Or kiss down his length with her lips of crushed silk, her eyes lowered and her cheeks dusted with the same pink they wore now.
His cock twitched.
Fuck, that sounded exhilarating.
And also, terrifying.
He tamped down the image as Ga Eul glanced at his face uncertainly.
"So, um...Should I...touch it?" she asked.
No. You should stare at it, Rang thought in his discomfort. He wanted to get this over with, and he wished Ga Eul was more experienced so she would just get on with it. He didn't know if he could even cum this way...Or, rather, he feared he would cum this way. Quickly. Explosively. He didn't want to find out how quickly. He wasn't ready for this. He wanted to go back to what they had been doing. He could make her cum, and they could cuddle and then go to sleep.
"Rang? Are you okay?" Ga Eul asked, tilting her head. "You're really quiet. You're not even making any jokes." Her voice didn't hold any judgement, merely concern, but Rang, as always, didn't care to be pitied.
"I'm"—Rang searched for an inoffensive lie, or a half-truth—"tired. I've been waking up too early all week. How about I show you first?" he said. "You can try next time." He gestured to the clock on his nightstand. "Anyway, isn't it almost time for you to go to sleep?"
"Uh, yes, but—"
"I'll show you. If you do it, it will take all night."
Disappointment clouded Ga Eul's face, but slowly she nodded and said, "Oh. Okay." She managed a small smile, and despite not wanting to be in his current state, he couldn't leave her looking so wounded. Grabbing her hand, he guided it to his hair.
"If you pet me, it will help," he encouraged her, and her smile grew a little.
"Okay," she agreed. She climbed up higher on the bed so she could lay next to him, and he much preferred that position to her hovering over him. Ga Eul carded her fingers through his hair, and the familiarity of the gesture calmed him. He let his head sink further into his pillow.
"Watch carefully," he commanded as he took himself in hand, and Ga Eul nodded. Rang set a steady rhythm, and pre-cum rapidly beaded at the top of his head. He rolled the clear liquid around with his thumb until the head was slick, and he imagined it was Ga Eul's saliva, for he could comfortably imagine such things as long as they stayed in his mind. As long as he knew the hand on his cock was his own and only the gentlest brush of fingers against his scalp was Ga Eul. Her massage relaxed him and brought him closer to the edge of his climax, but it wasn't enough to make him tip over. Only he could do that.
"Do you like this?" she asked, and this time Rang could truthfully answer 'yes.'
Yes, he liked this.
This was a manageable distribution of power. To prove his point, he closed his eyes, rubbed himself harder, and picked his favorite imaginary scene involving Ga Eul, one of many he hadn't managed to play out in real life.
The scene involved an elevator—specifically, the one in Shin-joo and Yu Ri's apartment complex. Ga Eul wore her pink skirt and cardigan with her white blouse; her hair had been up, but he'd pulled it free from its pins and ribbons. Her tights and shoes, he'd pulled off as well, and he'd tugged aside her panties so he could thrust himself into her through his unzipped black dress pants. Her legs were wrapped around his waist as he pinned her against the elevator wall, driving into her over and over again. Her eyes were glazed over and half-closed, but her mouth gaped open as she gasped and cried out in pleasure with each thrust. He could see the flush in her cheeks, the crease of her brow, and the tiniest bit of cleavage from where he'd popped the first few buttons of her blouse. He drove into her faster and faster, and her body trembled as he snapped his hips and jerked her into him with his hands on her ass. The harsh sounds of their collective breaths filled up the metallic box. When he was close to cumming, imaginary Ga Eul looked up at him with pleading eyes.
'Good fox,' imaginary Ga Eul said, and he thought it was an odd thing to say in the midst of him pounding into her until he realized that the whisper had come from outside of him. Close to his ear. A soft breath that shivered over his earlobe.
"Good fox," the near-whisper came again. This time, he identified it as Ga Eul's real voice, warm like roasted nuts on a winter's day. She tugged on his hair, clenching fistfuls in her hands.
Fuck.
Rang came without warning, sticky ropes shooting over his chest; he shuddered violently, then fell limp on the bed. Having come down, he lay there, completely disoriented and heaving breaths as if he'd been exerting himself far beyond moving his wrist.
Good fox.
Ga Eul had said 'good fox' like she did in his dreams when he'd finished ruining her, as if it was his occupation to keep her satisfied in that way. He didn't think he would mind that so much—ravishing her day and night—but he hadn't been doing anything to her just now. In fact, quite the opposite. So why had she said that?
"Why did you say that?" Rang asked, opening his eyes. Ga Eul was sitting up and staring at the mess on his stomach as though she might want to touch it but didn't dare.
"Huh?" She snapped her head around to face him.
"You said 'good fox' a minute ago. Why?" Rang squinted at her, still dizzy.
"Oh, um…" Ga Eul lifted her eyes, as if the answer were on the ceiling. A shy laugh escaped her. "I don't know. I just thought you'd like it since I call you that sometimes when I pet you. Anyway"—she pointed at his stomach—"So...that's what happens?"
Rang nodded.
"It's interesting...I've never seen it before."
Interesting? What a vague word choice. He couldn't tell if she'd liked it or not, and he was afraid to ask. Maybe she was upset with him for not letting her touch him.
"Ah, is it getting smaller?" she asked, and he glanced down. Indeed, his cock was slowly shrinking back into itself.
"It does that...afterward," he said.
"Oh, I see."
For a moment, they stared at the phenomenon of his cock retreating while his stomach remained bathed in its fluids. When the silence became too unbearable, Rang asked if Ga Eul would get him some tissues from the bathroom.
"Oh! Of course," she said, jumping from the bed as though she'd forgotten. She disappeared from the room, and Rang sat up, slowly regaining awareness of reality. Now that he'd cum, his senses were returning to him. His earlier panic seemed distant and ridiculous. Still, he felt overwhelmed by everything that had happened, and he didn't feel like contending with the awkwardness left in its wake. The immediate danger had passed. He'd cum, and now he wanted to sleep. Just sleep and forget.
"We should cuddle now," he said when Ga Eul returned bearing the tissues. "You owe me twelve minutes of cuddling."
"Okay," Ga Eul easily agreed, without elaboration, and he took her acquiescence as a sign that perhaps everything was fine. She set about performing her nightly hygiene routine, and Rang sped through his own routine, then rejoined her on the bed in his pajama pants, clicking the lights off without comment.
Trying to act normal, he got under the covers with her and snuggled up to her from behind, at just the right height that he could tuck her head under his chin. Once he'd enveloped her in his limbs, he was finally able to truly relax, and he thought that perhaps the night hadn't been so bad. He'd gotten to cum, and he'd never done that in Ga Eul's presence before. And Ga Eul had taken it pretty well when he'd suggested she watch instead of touching him herself. She'd even guessed at something he would like and had gotten it correct. All in all, not a bad night, aside from the preliminary discomfort, which he did not intend to repeat.
Rang had gotten so comfortable, slumped around Ga Eul's softness, that he had nearly dozed off when he heard Ga Eul make a noise of dissent and request that he let her go.
"I have to go to sleep now," she whispered.
"Mm. Okay." Reluctantly, Rang set her free, and she rolled onto her back. He scooted over to his side of the bed and would have let her be, except that when he got situated, he noticed her cheeks were wet. The lights were out, and it was pitch black in the room, but Rang could see Ga Eul's upturned face clearly with his night vision. Her eyes were wide open, and silent tears were spilling out of them, one by one.
She was crying. Why was she crying?
"Why are you crying?" he asked, without thinking. Surely, if he had thought about it, he would have realized that Ga Eul didn't think he could see her in the dark and wouldn't have expected him to say anything. He could have gone on to sleep and avoided whatever awkward conversation was about to ensue. And he would have done that if he had been thinking. But he didn't think; he just saw her crying and reacted.
"Huh?" Ga Eul gasped, and her voice hitched. She turned her face towards his. "H-how do you know I'm cr-crying?" she asked.
"I can see in the dark," Rang answered. He kept his voice calm and straightforward, for once.
"Oh." Ga Eul wiped her face with her pajama sleeve. "Is that one of your p-powers?"
Rang caught her hand and tugged it to the side; he swiped his own thumb over her damp cheeks, catching a few fresh tears.
"It's not really a power," he informed her. "It's just a...characteristic."
"Oh," she rasped, her brown eyes glistening as he traced his thumb over the bones beneath them.
"Why are you crying?" he repeated, and Ga Eul took in a shuddering breath.
"I…" she began, pausing to wet her lips. She let the silence draw out, then took another breath and tried again, "I thought I was doing a good job," she said in a weak, watery voice.
Rang frowned.
"What do you mean?"
"You know. Earlier. I thought...you would like it. The...kissing and stuff." Ga Eul stared down at the bed; she had her shoulders bunched up defensively. "I'm sorry if it was boring," she said. "Or"—another deep breath—"if I was taking too long." Another deep breath. "I don't know much, so I tried to...research it...They said...not to...pull too hard or…" She broke off and curled further into her pillow, which now bore a dark stain from her tears.
A minute ago, Rang had felt relieved that he'd gotten to cum and had gotten out of Ga Eul's tentative attempts at making him feel something; now he just felt shitty.
"Is it because you don't like humans touching you? Is that why you wouldn't let me?" Ga Eul asked quietly. It was more of an aside to herself than a direct address to him.
"No," Rang snapped, and Ga Eul glanced up. "No," he repeated, more softly.
"Oh," Ga Eul answered, but she still looked utterly dejected. Rang didn't understand it.
"I didn't think you wanted to give me a hand job that much," Rang said. "I didn't think you'd care if I did it instead."
"I wanted to do something you'd enjoy, especially since I don't think I'm ready for other stuff yet. Don't you like what you do for me? It's the same thing."
Rang thought about it, and well, he didn't consider the things he did to her as being exclusively for her. He enjoyed them as well; otherwise, he wouldn't have offered. However, ordinarily he wouldn't have lasted this long only focusing on his partner's pleasure, and he did derive an unusual amount of happiness from making Ga Eul feel good.
"You mean you'd be happy if I was happy?" Rang asked.
Ga Eul nodded.
"Yes, exactly," she said. Her tears continued flowing; she patted her cheeks dry with her shirt sleeve, and, again, without thinking much about it, Rang suddenly found himself being honest with her.
"Then you should know that I hate hand jobs," he said. "It has nothing to do with you. I don't like them coming from anyone."
Surprise showed first on Ga Eul's face, followed by a flustered sort of embarrassment.
"Oh, um, I'm so sorry. W-why didn't you tell me?"
"I don't know." Honestly, he couldn't remember his line of reasoning at the moment.
"Well, I'm...I'm sorry. I just assumed…The article said guys really like that." She laughed sheepishly. "But I guess it's silly to think that all guys like the same things."
"And I'm not just a guy," he added. "I'm a fox."
"That too." Ga Eul smiled faintly.
"And your kisses weren't boring, I promise. I taught you well." Rang winked at her though he knew she probably couldn't see.
Ga Eul's smile grew, though her eyes still glistened, and he tugged on her arm.
"Come here," he said. "I'll show you something."
"Huh?"
"Come here. Get closer." He pulled at her waist, and Ga Eul obediently sidled up to him until their heads rested on the same pillow. Taking her right hand, he guided it to the elastic waistband of his pajamas. "You can touch me if you want," he said quietly.
"Oh, um"—Ga Eul retracted her arm—"I don't have to. I mean, if you don't like it—"
"I don't care"—Rang grabbed her wrist—"if you touch me for a few seconds. It's fine." He pressed her hand to his abdomen, surprised that he meant the words. She was just curious; she wanted to be good to him; she didn't mean him any harm. He reminded himself of that as she timidly snaked her hand inside his underwear. He couldn't help, though, that his breathing sped up when her fingertips brushed his cock for the first time and when they slid down further to cup his balls. He was glad she couldn't see his face.
"They're...squishy," Ga Eul commented, giggling, as she fondled his balls gently.
"Yeah...They are squishy," Rang said with a breathy laugh, and he felt the tension between them ease.
"And this is...a lot smaller than it was, isn't it?" She moved her hand up his shaft.
"If you keep touching it, it will gradually get bigger."
"Oh...Should I keep touching it?"
"You can if you want."
"What do you want?"
Rang didn't answer for a moment. What did he want? Too many things. Too many conflicting things.
"You can touch it until it gets hard," he allowed, swallowing. "I mean, until it grows to its full size."
"Okay." Ga Eul tilted her face up to his and smiled encouragingly. "Then I'll stop, okay?"
Rang wanted to hate himself for needing her encouragement over something so silly, but he found himself falling into her smile instead, into the hypnotizing warmth of her eyes.
"Okay," he rasped. He let Ga Eul coax his cock out, little by little, her fingers dancing along his bare skin. When his cock had grown to its full length, he took her hand in his and wrapped it around his shaft, with his hand on top.
"This is how it is when it gets hard," he said, and she smiled. As soon as he let go of her hand, she withdrew her hand from his pants.
"Thank you for showing me," she whispered.
Rang nodded. His cock was rock hard, but oddly, he didn't want to do anything sexual with her. He felt like crying. He felt like laying his head on her chest and letting her stroke his hair until he fell asleep. Rang was glad the lights were off so she couldn't see the tears gathering in his eyes. He didn't know if they were there because he felt afraid or ashamed or loved or some terrible combination of all three. But he did know that a metaphorical table had been flipped, and he wasn't in charge anymore.
He couldn't admit to any of that, though, so instead, he said, in his usual teasing manner, "One day, I'm going to show you a lot of things."
