Chapter 9: Hikikomori
It had been four days since Subaru arrived at Mondstadt. And every single day of the journey was unexpectedly fun.
He got to know the people of Mondstadt a lot better. He started to speak to the different vendors about their wares. Out of them all, he felt that Marjorie had some of the wackiest stuff he had ever seen in her store. Too bad she only accepted something called Anemo Sigils as currency.
Aside from that, he spent a lot of time with other people. He played a bit with Flora every now and then, much to the displeasure of Donna who always hawked in from overhead like a creep. He oftentimes smacked Quinn up in the head for treating Beatrice the way he did (Subaru always ignored the way Beatrice's name rang something in his mind). Despite wanting to visit, he kept his distance from Angel's Share, however, since he wasn't of drinking age yet. At least, not that he remembered. In his last memory from Japan, he was 17. He still didn't know if he passed his birthday in the other world. There was no way to confirm it either since this one used a completely different calendar.
Mondstadt had its own fair share of wacky characters too. He still remembered trying to get a few words out of Stanley. In return, he only got stories of his own ventures into someplace called the Mare Jivari. Since he didn't have the time to listen to the story, Subaru swore to come back later to hear the whole tale, even though he briefly and humorously commented that Stanley was basically tooting his own horn.
Subaru hadn't noticed the grimace that followed.
As for his training, it was going well. He was able to deploy his wind glider well, but he still struggled with the balance a fair bit. He still couldn't land without faceplanting, however. At that point, he wondered if he just wasn't cut out to use a wind glider.
On the other hand, his literacy education was working wonders. Even though it had to be slow, he could start reading the signs on the different shops. However, the fact that the structure of the script was for English, while the alphabet was similar to kanji, irked him. Individual consonants and vowels took up the same number of lines to write that an average two-syllable kanji would take. He hated how slow it got to write in that script. The good thing about English was that the script was oftentimes a breath of fresh air and that he could comfortably write in cursive. On the other hand, Japanese was his bread and butter, and with his raised familiarity with kanji, hiragana and katakana, he was most comfortable with the writing pattern it used. Teyvat's script embodied the bad parts of both the language scripts he knew. He couldn't write quickly or in cursive, and he had to use an English syllable pattern. It was absolutely awful, but he put up with it and learned the language.
Finally, he was proud to say that he had quite the severe impact on the mornings of each day in Mondstadt.
"Alright, now bend down from your lower back without bending your knees and try to touch the ground. Extra points if you do!"
Peering out of the corner of his eye, he briefly noticed Glory trying to reach out in front of her, only for Grace to get up from her position and help her get into the right position. The smile that Glory sent back to her mother made Subaru smile as well.
"Now, slowly get back up to a stand and take in a deep breath! Okay? Now, raise your hands to touch the sky and from the depths of your heart, call out for VICTORY!"
"VICTORY!" the entire horde of adults and children behind him yelled out soon after him.
"Wow, Paimon takes it back. This is kinda cool," Paimon said, hovering back down to her partner.
"Heh, didn't I say so?"
"Mhm, you totally did!"
"Huuh?! Paimon's not giving me back sass today? Did you wake up on the wrong side of the bed today?"
"Hey! Paimon can't even sleep properly because of your stench, Stinky Space!"
"Ah! She's back!"
"Hahaha, I seriously cannot get enough of the two of you," Amber laughed out as she approached the two of them. "Seriously, it's great to be able to do this after my morning run! Maybe I should ask Master Jean to come with next time…"
"Let her know!" Subaru cheered back. "Radio Calisthenics will accept anyone!"
Amber giggled. "I can see that," she replied, looking back at the small crowd of people moving away from the front of the church. "You're really making a name for yourself, huh, Subaru?"
"Hehe, never expected it to be so popular, honestly. But at this rate, we can bring the whole of Mondstadt here to practice this in just a week!"
"You really do love this activity, don't you?"
"Of course, I do it every day! And if it can give other people something to do to distract themselves, then I certainly won't keep them from joining!"
"Hey, Stinky Space!" Paimon called out. "Let's go! Sara's got a Fisherman's Toast waiting with Paimon's name on it!"
"Haha, alright, you little glutton."
"Oh yeah, that reminds me!" Amber called out, stopping Subaru in his tracks. "Subaru, you're alright now, aren't you? Recovered?"
"Well, yeah," Subaru said. "Barbara-san certainly overdid herself with the treatment."
"That's our Barbara for you! But in that case, what do you say we head out of Mondstadt today?"
"Head… out?" Subaru asked, his smile drooping and his eyes widening. "Out there? Why?"
"Ah, you see, we've been getting reports of something. One of the Four Winds, the Dragon Stormterror, was spotted making a move. I'm going to try and find it."
However, before she could continue, she noticed Subaru's expression. He was frowning. His eyes held back a glimmer of fear.
Amber felt her throat dry out. She had never seen Subaru's joyful expression fade like that before.
'Maybe… he's not okay yet?'
"Ah, don't worry about it!" Amber interjected herself. "I mean, I thought I could get your help with some of my work, but you don't need to!"
"Haha, I'm glad to hear that, Amber!" Subaru replied, his smile plastered onto his face once more. "But you see, I've still got to do some work on my reading. Lisa-san gave me a lot more homework than I'd expected."
Amber gulped. "Y-Yeah, that's alright! Oh, we've gotta go, looks like Paimon's getting frowny!"
"Ah, right!"
As Subaru followed her, he couldn't help but tsk. He hated lying to her, he was actually keeping that homework for later. But still, there was something about leaving Mondstadt that made his bones quiver.
"Hey, Subaru?" Paimon asked, unusually using his actual name. "Are you okay?"
"Y-Yeah, why wouldn't I be?" Subaru said back, wearing his smile on his face once again.
"Hm, should I actually start working on that assignment Lisa-san gave me?"
Paimon grumbled from over Subaru's shoulder. At this moment, Paimon and Subaru had found themselves in the middle of the square, having just finished their breakfast. Amber had headed away since she had her duties as an Outrider, while Subaru was still not being given any Adventurer duties since he wasn't able to read well enough.
"Paimon still doesn't understand why you didn't want to go with Amber. It's been so long since we've left Mondstadt, Paimon wanted to sightsee!"
Subaru grimaced at Paimon's confession. "I'm sorry, Paimon, but I'm just not ready yet. I guess fighting that mitachurl took more out of me than I expected."
Paimon was about to respond but then chose to keep quiet. She had no clue what was going through his head, after all. She had never fought anyone.
"Um, Subaru, why didn't you tell that to Amber?" Paimon chose to ask instead. "She could have helped you a lot better than me, you know?"
"Amber is… well…" Subaru looked away from his partner. "I just didn't want her to worry. She's already done a lot for me; I don't want to add more of myself onto her plate of issues."
"Oh, um, okay," Paimon said. "Paimon still wanted to go with her. Didn't she say she was going to look out for a Dragon? That would have been so cool!"
Subaru sniggered. "Yeah, it really would have been. But I guess I should get started on my assignment. Paimon, you can roam around Mondstadt if you want. I'll be in our room."
"Roger that! Paimon, out!"
With that, Paimon fizzled out into a flash of sparks. Subaru smiled as he set his eyes ahead.
After getting to his room, he managed to finish his exercises quickly. Lisa had commented that he was able to learn the script a lot faster than anyone else; maybe that was why the task was so easy for him.
"Hm, should I ask Lisa-san for another assignment?" Subaru asked himself in the silence of his own room. "I mean, I have way too much time right now."
Upon reaching the Knights of Favonius HQ, he was unexpectedly stopped by the front guards and asked to leave. Apparently, there was some important meeting going on with all the higher-ups of the Knights of Favonius, and they weren't to entertain strangers. Even though Subaru mentioned that he was trying to enter the Library and meet Lisa, they still refused, saying that she was involved in the discussion as well. Subaru even asked for Kaeya, though he had already anticipated their refusal.
"Well, that's a bummer," Subaru muttered as he walked away. "Hm, what about the Church? How's Grace-san doing? And it's been a while since I last saw Barbara-san too."
Heading to the church next, he found that prayer was going on at that time. He did join the proceedings for a while out of boredom, but he found their act of sitting and praying far too quiet for himself. For some reason, he also felt uncomfortable there. Confirming once more that he wasn't one for religion, he decided to take his leave early and leave the nuns to their jobs.
"Who else is there… ah, what about the kids? And the people in the Square?"
After looking around, he confirmed that the kids were not present anywhere. After asking around, he discovered that they were all being schooled at that moment. It would have been odd to see any kids running around at that time.
Heading to the square, he decided that he could try and recreate some more recipes in Good Hunter, Sara's restaurant. However, upon reaching there, he found that there was someone there already.
"Ah, Paimon!"
"Stinky Space! You're back!" Paimon said in between bites of her Crab, Ham and Veggie Bake. "How'd studying go?"
"Alright," Subaru muttered as he sat down at her table. "Early lunch?"
"Yep! Hope you don't mind, it's on you."
"Nah, it should be fine, just don't go overboard. Remember that you should still be able to fly after this."
"Hm, hm! Paimon remembers!" she said, not stopping her ambush on the bowl in front of her. "This is just sooo good!"
Subaru smiled at her antics. "Yeah, if Sara made it, I could bet on it. But that's not why I'm here."
Standing up once more, Subaru approached Sara and asked if he could experiment with the kitchen. However, it turned out that she was running low on supplies and that her latest shipment of goods was delayed. The fact that adventurers were still in 'vacation' mode due to Subaru's actions and with the Knights focusing on Stormterror, there was hardly anyone left to defeat the new Hilichurls popping up.
Discreetly sending an unaccepted apology to her, Subaru grimaced as he sat back down with Paimon. Looking down at his hands while ignoring the small sounds that Paimon took with her every bite, Subaru realised something.
'How long has it been since I had time off?'
Subaru's frown deepened as the quietness forced his mind into the pain that he had been harbouring for a while.
"Ma – han!" Subaru remarked out loud, trying to keep up a conversation with Paimon before he could lose himself. "What's a guy gotta do at a time like this? I've got literally nothing to do."
"That's awesome! Paimon's gonna catch some sleep after eating this!"
"Oh, go ahead, you fairy loli."
Subaru would have agreed with her if it weren't for the fact that sleep came hard to him recently. He had started to dread the middle of the night. Whenever he was awake and lying down on his bed, his mind would automatically drift back to his experiences of death, filling him with dread and making his body incredibly itchy for some reason. Whenever he was asleep, the same memories would haunt him in the form of nightmares.
Remembering something from when he had first met Paimon, Subaru reached into his pocket. He smiled when he felt it in the palm of his hand.
Pulling it out, he inspected it once more. Rem's headdress.
"What would you do here, Rem? What… What was I to you?"
He found himself repeating the latter question over and over again whenever he would remember her. Due to being someone that had tried to both kill and love him, Subaru was lost in his own perception of her. He had no idea who she really was, whether she was a girlfriend he rejected or an enemy to die against.
And in these moments of quiet, his mind would automatically head back to his unknown past in that other world.
Subaru scowled as he felt the painful memories enter his head once more. Once again, he was forced to ask himself why he had gone so far. Why he had subjected himself to so much torture.
However, the fact that he had to resort to dying, something he was absolutely terrified of, had confirmed something for him.
'I'm absolutely useless unless I die.'
Looking back out at the entrance gate to Mondstadt while scratching the budding itch on his stomach, Subaru thought back to his interaction with Amber earlier that day.
"I don't want to leave… could it be…?"
"Stinky Space? Did you say something?"
"Ah, nothing, I was just talking to myself."
"Oh, that's weird but sure!"
Subaru closed his eyes as he went back to his earlier thought process. 'Am I resorting to my old hikikomori methods? Even in this isekai world?'
Subaru felt his mouth dry as he remembered how much of a burden he was to his parents back then.
'If I repeat that in Teyvat, who would I be a burden to? Amber? Kaeya-san or Lisa-san? Paimon, maybe?'
And yet, despite hating himself for being a burden, he was even more hateful of the idea of leaving Mondstadt.
'This isn't like school, it's not social anxiety. I don't want to die, so I don't want to leave. Even in this blank slate of a world, I still can't escape the fear of death.
'Then, what will it take for me to not be a burden anymore?'
Subaru was knocked out of his stupor by the sound of rushing footsteps accompanied by loud breathing. Looking up, he noticed a familiar face.
"Amber?" Subaru asked, standing up as he watched Amber running up the steps of the Square. However, she was drenched in sweat, enough to weigh down the 'bunny ears' of her hairbow.
"Ack… Subaru… Paimon…" Amber heaved out as she stopped for a moment. "I… need your help. Go… to the Favonius… tell them that… Stormterror is – "
Before she could finish her words, her voice was taken over by a much more ambient one. The sound of the wind picking up.
"Huh?" Paimon got up from her seat, leaving her dish behind as she floated to their side. "What's going on?"
"Oh no… EVERYONE!" Amber cupped her mouth and bellowed out in the middle of the Square. "ENTER YOUR STORM BUNKERS IMMEDIATELY!"
"A-Amber, what's going on?" Subaru asked, raising his voice to be audible in the middle of the roaring wind.
"Stormterror! He's here!"
Those words were what set everyone off.
Immediately, chaos flooded the entire Square. People started to run away in different directions. Some people started to run up the steps to the higher levels of the city, while others started to seal up their own homes hammering planks to the door and windows. However, those that weren't in a shelter at that moment were busy running around to their homes or to someplace that would accommodate them for this event.
Paimon yelped from beside him. "The sky…"
Looking back up, Subaru stood bewildered at the sight.
"A typhoon?"
Sure enough, there was a huge typhoon covering the sky above Mondstadt. A swirl of wind, threatening to destroy everything below it.
"Subaru, you need to get to shelter too!" Amber called out. "Follow me! I'll take you to the nearest Bunker!"
Subaru was about to follow her but was cut short in his gait from the sound that followed.
*ROOAAAAAAARRRRRR!*
Paling, Subaru looked back up at the source of the voice. From the surface of the forming typhoon, a shadow started to form, only to break into a huge body that soared down into the sky of the city.
It had turquoise feathers with a pale blue underbelly. It had two forewings and two rear, both an ornate mix of aqua and navy blue. It had a long tail with a feather-tipped end, as well as two additional strands that accompanied it, almost resembling a three-tailed whip. It possessed four-taloned dark turquoise claws and two horns on its head that had a gradient from blue to black, adorned further by a mane of fur-like feathers. Subaru would have called the creature beautiful, but the moment it opened its maw to expose its pink tongue and let loose a loud roar, all his feelings of awe were replaced by terror.
Subaru, even though not having seen him before, understood what he was due to Amber's comments. This was the catastrophe known as the Dragon Stormterror.
"Subaru, we need to go! Now!"
Subaru felt himself being jerked ahead by Amber who was pulling him with her. Catching up his gait, he started to follow her, Paimon hovering with them by his side.
Their run was interrupted by the sudden appearance of a tornado in front of them.
Suddenly, Subaru and Amber felt themselves being pulled up by the tornado. While in the middle of the swirl, they managed to make out several other tornadoes forming across Mondstadt, wrecking the construction around them. However, no one else was carried up by them other than these two.
Subaru felt his ears pop as he was tossed out of the tornado. He was feeling dizzy from the sudden rotation within the tumultuous winds, and in a panic, managed to raise his hands up.
That action was what saved him.
Subaru felt the inertia of his downward speed as he slowed mid-air. Despite being hundreds of feet over the ground, Subaru was falling slowly. And it was all thanks to the deployed wind glider on his back.
Looking back, he noticed Amber flying with him as well.
"Subaru!" she yelled out, her voice barely audibly over the sound of the wind. "Go to the Headquarters! The Knights will keep you safe! I'll hold off Stormterror!"
"W-Wait, what – "
Subaru blinked as Amber bent ahead. Despite gliding, she sped ahead so smoothly that it felt like she was boosted in some way. Easily crossing the body of Stormterror and landing on his back, Amber summoned her bow and aimed a charged Pyro arrow at it.
However, Stormterror detected the odd presence on his back. It then twirled its body around in the air, a motion that Amber hadn't precedented. Not having a good grip on the dragon due to the possession of her bow, she was forced to fall. As she fell, however, she didn't get fazed in any way. She still twirled her body upwards so that she could face the dragon and aimed her bow at it.
She fired her arrow.
Despite it meeting its mark on his underbelly, Stormterror barely registered the attack. However, instead of hurting him, it managed to infuriate him.
With another loud roar, Stormterror curled up high and then shot down, ready to ram straight into Amber's still falling body. Yelping in fear, Amber suddenly unsummoned her bow and reactivated her wind glider, drifting out of the way.
Watching Amber dodge this Dragon, Subaru couldn't help but grimace.
'If I… If I die, could I save her? Could I prevent something like this from happening?'
And then, he arrived at his answer to a question he had earlier.
'What will it take for me to not be a burden anymore? I see, I have to be as Brave as a Knight. I have to be Brave enough to die for the sake of my friends. That means saving Amber too.'
Amber was at her last ropes. She had already made far too many complex turns with her glider; she was rapidly running out of energy. She didn't know how much longer she could hold out against Stormterror. Even though she was in that state, she still held on. She knew that Subaru was in danger too, and it was her responsibility as a Knight to keep him safe. So, she was completely willing to face Stormterror despite knowing that she barely stood a chance against it.
Still flying away, Amber made out a roar from behind her, slowly getting louder. Sparing a look behind her, she noticed Stormterror closing in. Looking ahead once more, she yelped as she narrowly avoided another tornado within the area, but instead used the wind to travel in another direction to throw the dragon off.
However, it wasn't fazed. It easily turned its body as curled itself to Amber, bringing it even closer than it was before. Looking back, Amber noticed that its maw was open, revealing its long pink tongue to her. From within its throat, a concentration of Elemental Energy started to form, one that Amber knew was going to be weaponised against her.
'I need to drop soon! I can't stay in the skies for long!'
Just as she got ready to take the risky dive for how close she was to the ground, she barely managed to hear a familiar shout from nearby.
"Amber! I can Return by – !"
Amber paled the moment she recognized that cut-off phrase. That was like what Subaru had said back when they were fighting the hilichurls. That was what he had used to attract the monsters to him.
Suddenly, Stormterror stopped charging its attack and stopped following her.
"Oh no, oh no…" Amber muttered. "SUBARU! WHAT DID YOU DO?!"
"I'm being Brave, that's what!" Subaru yelled back, grinning as he noticed Stormterror turning around to face him. "I'm going to save us all, Amber!"
'No, Subaru, that's not your job! That's my job!' Amber yelled in her head, although she wasn't willing to yell it out when she noticed Stormterror roaring at her friend and charging at him.
Amber rarely ever did it, but she cursed under her breath. Due to her earlier falls, she was far below Subaru's height in the air. Her wind glider was unable to raise her higher into the air without an upward draft.
Subaru kept his grin up as he watched Stormterror fly up to him as fast as it could. Nodding, Subaru immediately turned to the side and started to float off to the side. He started to wobble in the air after his turn and couldn't go as fast as Amber had, but he was still barely keeping his distance from the incoming threat.
However, he knew it wasn't enough. His current objective was to try and get the dragon out of Mondstadt where he would have it kill him so that he could retry. He had no idea what would happen to this timeline if he died, but he didn't want to risk anything, so he opted to keep the nation safe. And if the cost was his death, it didn't matter in the slightest. His life didn't mean much more than his death, after all.
Looking ahead, Subaru noticed his salvation in the form of a tornado.
"Stinky Space!" Looking to his side, he noticed Paimon floating with him, trying to keep pace. "What are you doing?! Amber told you to go to the Headquarters, remember?!"
"Paimon, you need to run! I'm taking Stormterror out of Mondstadt!"
*ROAARRR!*
Subaru winced at how loud that roar was; it left a ring in his ears and almost threw off his mid-air balance. Despite that, Subaru still held on to his gliding position.
"No, Paimon's not going! Not until she can confirm you're safe!"
"Well then, Paimon, I hope you can forgive me for this!"
With a yelp, Subaru collapsed his wind glider and grabbed onto Paimon, ignoring the way she choked under his hold. He was still moving forward due to his initial forward speed from gliding, getting even closer to the tornado he had set his eyes on.
Twirling back, Subaru noticed Stormterror opening its maw, almost ready to eat Subaru whole.
"Not yet!" Subaru yelled out. "Go away, Paimon! I can Return by – "
Quickly ignoring the Witch's intervention once more, he opened his eyes back to the same hellish sight. Turning to the side once more, Subaru threw Paimon away with all his strength. As he watched Paimon clear away into safety, Subaru let himself be consumed by the tornado behind him.
Spinning up higher, Subaru felt himself get dizzier and dizzier. Yet, he did his best to hold on and keep his eyes on the dragon chasing him. When he felt like he was a high enough distance, he finally unfurled his wind glider. He was afraid that it would rip in the strong winds, but luckily, it held together. More importantly, it managed to expel him from the drift of the tornado.
Looking back down, he grinned as he noticed the new distance between himself and the dragon. He estimated that he would have to travel his own full length to reach him at that moment.
But in a sudden flash of blue, Subaru found his left wing missing.
Stormterror was not sitting idly while Subaru was in the tornado. He was charging up another one of his roars which it finally fired at Subaru. It somehow missed but did manage to vaporize Subaru's wing.
Since he could not fly on a single wing, Subaru started to spin around as he fell to the ground. The growing dizziness started to compound with his interaction with the tornadoes, and he could feel his own consciousness slipping.
That was until he found himself in someone's arms.
"Subaru, you idiot!" Amber chided. "What were you doing?! I was going to handle it!"
"Amber…" Subaru made out once his dizziness spell settled. "How did you…"
"Make it up here? I used your daredevil technique! I rode a tornado! Now, I'm certain that my gliding license is on the line yet again!"
Stormterror roared out in anger as it found its prey being rescued by another person. It stormed the two once more, roaring as it climbed up to them.
Looking down at Stormterror who was still quite a distance away, Amber decided that her old decision was the right one to take. She collapsed her wings and held Subaru's down, letting both of them nosedive down to the earth. Amber held Subaru's flailing body to herself as she looked down at the ground. Gauging a good distance to the ground, she finally unfurled her winds and managed to land safely, Subaru safe with her too.
"Subaru, we need to get going now!" she yelled out. "We can't stand a chance against Stormterror ourselves! We need the rest of the Knights!"
However, their discussion was cut short by a large blue beam cutting into the building behind them. Subaru barely registered Amber's panicked shriek as the top of the building fell upon the two.
"Knights! Keep on the attack!"
*ROAARRR!*
Subaru barely managed to open his eyes, only to find his Vision tinted red. He noticed another darker shade of red in the distance, one that held a familiar form. It was Amber, however, she was not in a good state. On top of the shards of wood cutting into her body in odd places, the one that stood out was the one in her throat. Amber gazed lifelessly into the sky, and when he looked lower, Subaru noticed that her Vision lacked its signature glow.
"N-No…" he choked out, crawling to the two.
He couldn't stand up or even move properly. Looking down, he noticed that shards of wood were piercing his body, the worst being a large stake in his abdomen. His mind was barely registering the pain, but he counted his lucky stars for that. It made his death a lot easier, after all.
However, as he slowly started to come to, he focused once more on the sounds of the battlefield around him.
Numerous sounds of yells, shrieks and roars filled the field, paired with the constant din of the wind. After listening for a while, one particular voice made itself known above all else.
"Retreat! All forces retreat!"
'I see. So, they failed too, huh?'
Subaru let himself fall onto the floor, making sure his hand was still holding Amber's lifeless one. He had to lie down on his stomach mainly because he couldn't turn his body around and risk the wood piercing him getting even worse.
However, that was the last of his concerns.
'How am I going to save them?' he wondered, finding himself unable to speak out loud. 'Not even the Knights could defeat the dragon, how could I somehow help them win?'
Subaru noticed the surface of the house surrounding them be burst away by another beam. From the open cavity exposing the typhoon in the sky, Stormterror gazed into the room, looking right at the boy. It opened its mouth, charging up another one of its roars.
'I see,' Subaru smiled as he looked up at the monster ready to kill him. 'I don't stand a chance, don't I? The only way to escape this loop is to run away from Mondstadt.
'And yet, I can't leave.'
Natsuki Subaru was killed by the roar of the dragon Stormterror.
A/N: And here we have the end of Subaru's Life. Finally. Something fun. I hate myself for saying that.
So, yeah, I get that the warning I mentioned in the last chapter wasn't as big of an issue in this chapter. That's because I rewrote the entire Stormterror fight. The original was a lot more introspective and much less active. It was more of Subaru wallowing in his regrets and agony, and finally succumbing to the madness from his experiences. However, that did not flow well since it was just a mish-mosh of random psychological issues. It is true that reality can oftentimes be like that, but it did not make for a good reading experience. So, I scrapped it. I've still included it into the chapter in case anyone wants to read it, but it's as an extra. Remember, it's no longer canon to this fic. What's above this A/N is the real content.
Anyway, this is just me leaving you all on a cliffhanger before I start studying for my exams. I'll be taking another hiatus for now, hahaha! I'll be back in about two weeks though, but it might take longer since I uploaded this early. As in, I haven't finished the next chapter yet, but considering the changes here, I'd have to modify that as well.
Now, onto the reviews!
Kamimon1205: Oh, it certainly is.
ExoticIdiot: I'll admit, I hadn't planned on letting Ganyu join Subaru on his ventures. Lord knows how Rem would react when she sees her with him, that is if she remembers him. I also don't really have much of a plot set out for the Liyue Book, so I might consider your proposal. It certainly sounds like Subaru to do something like that, after all.
Although, I certainly don't think that Ganyu is uncared for. She ends up taking most of the work because she wants to and because no one else is able to do it due to their own lives and pleasures coming in the way. Ganyu's an immortal, meaning that she'd already be drained of most of her pleasures, leaving only her work behind. Seriously, the most prominent emotion felt by any immortal will be boredom (I should know, I have a story plan featuring immortals. I've already placed myself in their shoes.). That's why I see it more as Ganyu trying to entertain herself by doing her work, because she's already experienced everything the world has to offer. I'm not saying that there isn't anything to work with from what you said, that's certainly not the case. I'll have to think about it some more. Luckily, Liyue will be written in Book 2 of this series, so I have a ton of time. RbD can drag out an Arc of Genshin into a whole book.
As for the powers you mentioned, because of your previous suggestion, I will confirm that you hit the nail on the head. I won't be saying which point is right, though, that should be obvious after this. Also, it is true that Subaru could use elemental energy as a sub for mana, but his gate is busted. It's trait is that it won't let any energy out of him, meaning that even though he can call in the mana, he can't use it.
That's all! I know, not a lot of reviews this time, but I'm glad for that. I'd prefer not to sit here for an hour just filling out responses.
Next up, Subaru comes to terms with the new threat looming over Mondstadt. He also meets someone new. Feel free to guess who. Here's a useless hint, it's my Sub-DPS that I mainly use for their physical damage stat and reactions.
I actually think I should declare this right now. I'm a bit of an oddity among Genshin players, you see. Even though I'm AR 55 now, I still main Anemo Traveler. I'll admit that his Burst isn't the best, although it's great for a small army of hilichurls especially for a laugh or sustained damage to an unshielded Abyss Mage. However, his Skill is incredible. I love AoE attacks, and the fact that Windblade can pull enemies in is a godsend for me. I'm still building my teams and I don't have enough 5-stars, but I'm not getting rid of Aether anytime soon.
With that said, I'll see you next chapter!
EXTRA: The original script for this Chapter
WARNING! The following content is not to be read by those with psychological issues such as trauma, depression, severe social anxiety, or any others. If you do suffer from these, please not only skip this section, but drop this story. This extra is meek compared to what I've got planned for the future.
Please read this at your own risk.
"Hm, what to do now?"
"Why didn't you go with Amber, Stinky Space?! It would've been fun to go outside, right?!"
"Hey, hey, I have my reasons, okay! I spent so long out there; I'm not exactly looking forward to heading out so soon!"
Paimon grumbled from over Subaru's shoulder. At this moment, Paimon and Subaru had found themselves in the middle of the square, having just finished their breakfast. Amber had headed away since she had her duties as an Outrider, while Subaru was still not being given any Adventurer duties since he wasn't able to read well enough.
"Should I just go back to my room and study, then?"
Subaru couldn't help but gulp. His current behaviour was incredibly familiar to him.
'Why… am I trying to be a shut-in again?'
Subaru took a moment to look around at the people around him.
Not many people were at the square that day. And yet, those that were there were indescribably normal. They paid attention to their current actions and took their own forms of joy in those acts.
More importantly, no one was hurting in any way.
"Paimon?" Subaru whispered. "Is… Is Mondstadt peaceful?"
"Huh, what kind of question is that, Stinky Space? Of course, it is, can't you see?!"
"A-Ah, you're right. It certainly is."
'I should be happy to hear that. I'm safe here. But… why do I feel like something is being taken from me? Why can't I remember these feelings?!'
"Paimon?"
"What now, Stinky Space?!"
"Do you think I'll ever remember what happened in my past? In that other world?"
'Why I had gone there? What I was doing there? Why I had gone so far, suffered so much, all to die another time?'
"Huh? Oh…" Paimon drifted off, finally noticing Subaru's expression.
It wasn't sombre like one would expect. In fact, Subaru was keeping his head lowered while crossing his eyes and gritting his teeth.
"Um, Subaru, are you okay?" Paimon asked, lowering herself to meet his eyes.
Then, those eyes moved.
Paimon shrieked and shot away as Subaru's naturally scary eyes, now filled with emotion that amplified that trait tenfold, stared directly at her. In that lone moment Paimon saw his eyes, she saw a lot of what was going on within him. His rage, his grief, his anguish. However, Paimon couldn't truly notice these emotions, so her mind resorted to calling those eyes scary.
Noticing Paimon's fear, Subaru finally snapped out of his daze and forced his eyes shut.
'Dammit, don't let her get worried!'
"S-Sorry, I didn't mean to do that…" Subaru muttered, still not willing to look at her. "Forget the question. I'm… going to study for a bit."
Paimon didn't say anything as Subaru walked away from her. She didn't know what to say. She had no idea how to react to what had just happened. At that moment, Paimon wished that anyone else could have been there to be there for him. Paimon, however, had no idea what was going on.
Paimon's lip quivered as she watched Subaru's back. 'What should I do? Should I call someone? Should I get help?'
As she drifted off, out of the corner of her eye, she noticed another familiar face running into the square from the front gate.
"Amber!"
But something was wrong.
Amber was there, but she wasn't smiling. She was running up the steps of the square, not bothering to stop despite her being out of breath.
"Amber?!" Paimon called out, floating over to her immediately. "What's going on?!"
Amber didn't bother to stop as she huffed her words. "Paimon… get somewhere safe… Stormt-"
Suddenly, the wind started to pick up.
"Oh no…" Amber huffed and finally stopped running. "Is it already here?"
The wind didn't stop. It got even faster. And then-
*ROOOAAAAARRRR!*
Line break...
Subaru groaned as he walked away from the square. He scolded himself for scaring Paimon like that. Now she'd ask questions, or even worse, try and ask other people to help him. Subaru naturally wanted to avoid that. To be as Brave as a Knight, he had to be able to handle these things himself, with no one's help.
'Yeah, right. Like I was as Brave as a Knight when I didn't want to leave Mondstadt.'
Shaking himself out of his stupor, Subaru turned around and started making his way back to the square. He decided that he wanted to make peace with Paimon and try to reduce the blowback of his loss of control.
Feeling his neck itch, he quickly scratched it, only to proceed to the other side of his neck as well. But even then, it didn't stop. The itch spread across his entire body.
'Why is my body like this? And… is it just me, or is it really windy today?'
The roar of the wind suddenly boomed in his ears.
'No, that's definitely not normal. What's going on?'
Gaping, Subaru looked up at the sky.
It had darkened. Clouds had covered the entire surface. In fact, it had reminded Subaru of a natural phenomenon from back on Earth.
"A… typhoon?!"
Subaru's eyes widened in shock as he looked further. From the clouds, a shape shot out into the skies of Mondstadt.
It was a Dragon. A huge blue dragon almost filled the view of the sky.
It had turquoise feathers with a pale blue underbelly. It had two forewings and two rear, both an ornate mix of aqua and navy blue. It had a long tail with a feather-tipped end, as well as two additional strands that accompanied it, almost resembling a three-tailed whip. It possessed four-taloned dark turquoise claws and two horns on its head that had a gradient from blue to black, adorned further by a mane of fur-like feathers. Subaru would have called the creature beautiful, but the moment it opened its maw to expose its pink tongue and let loose a loud roar, all his feelings of awe were replaced by terror.
Subaru felt his mouth go dry as he looked up at the monstrous dragon.
'How… how am I going to save everyone from that?!'
As the people around him started to run away, Subaru kept staring up at the creature. For some reason, it stared directly at him.
'Wait… what's… what's going on?'
From the hurricane above, tornadoes formed and started to wreck the surface of Mondstadt and the dragon started to fly towards him, Subaru couldn't move. He clutched the fabric on his chest.
'Why… why am I feeling this way?! Am I going mad?! I'm going to die again! Why am I acting like this?!'
Looking up at the dragon once more, Subaru finally let his expression be shown. A grin was spread on his face as far as it could go. It didn't approach his eyes, and yet he felt the smile. He felt the joy from it, even though he couldn't become one with it.
'Why am I so happy that this is happening?'
His body started to itch even more. He wanted to rip his own skin out. He wanted his own blood to flow on the surface of Mondstadt. That was what he deserved. That was what he needed.
"Ah… I just want to die. And yet, I can't."
Subaru barely even registered the reappearance of the Witch. He wasn't coherent enough to feel her grip on his heart, nor was he able to understand the way that the dragon roared once again, now even more focused on him.
"But I don't want to die. I don't want to feel that pain. Then why… oh, I just want it all to end. Euthanasia. That's it. But with no return."
Subaru felt his mouth go dry, even though that wicked grin was still upon his face.
Grabbing his forearm, he started to scratch the itch that was building up. His smile got wider as he felt the pain build up, as he broke skin, as he started to peel into his own flesh and muscle. He hated pain, yet here he was, doing this to himself.
'I'm such a hypocrite. But I deserve this. This pain is mine, after all.'
Looking up, he noticed the dragon perched atop a building, it threatening to break under its weight. It bent down its long neck and aimed its beak at Subaru.
Opening its maw, Subaru noticed something being built up within. A charging beam of energy. Upon looking at that, Subaru couldn't help but lose his smile.
'Why… I'm just going to Return by Death, right? What's the point? Why are you trying to kill me? I won't die, I'll just keep dying to you, over and over and over and over and-'
"SUBARU!"
Just before the dragon could let loose its roar, a girl with a red and brown dress dove in the way and dragged Subaru away.
Subaru looked back at the dragon now chasing after them from behind Amber's back.
"Subaru! What are you doing?!" another being yelled out, hovering in from Amber's shoulder. "Do you have any idea how worried Paimon was?!"
"Paimon, huh?" Subaru muttered, all trace of shock drawn out of his tone. "Sorry, I worried you. I'm okay."
"No, you're not! No one stands in front of a dragon like Stormterror and gets ready to die!"
"A-Ah, so you saw that…"
Subaru started to grimace once again.
"But why… why are you both trying so hard to save me? What did I do to deserve your help?! Why can't… Why can't you just let me die?!"
"Because you're our – "
Whatever Amber was going to say was cut off by the back of a large blue claw filling his view and hitting him in the side of his face.
Subaru was flung away immediately, Amber and Paimon by his side.
Subaru couldn't completely open his eyes. Even with his lidded vision, he couldn't actually see anything properly. Everything was blurry. Might have been because of the way blood was flowing out of the side of his head, staining one half of his face, and filling his tongue with the taste of iron.
For some reason, it didn't hurt. He felt like he should have been worried about that, but he was elated instead. He would die a painless death this time, after all.
Yet, his vision was filled with colour.
"The bodies… oh god… we've failed…"
"What… what can we do against Stormterror?!"
"My Lord, are you okay?! Please say something!"
"AMBER! WAKE UP, PLEASE!"
Subaru choked out a small cry. He couldn't move his body, only look out with his blurry sight.
"Subaru! Subaru, wake up!" a familiar shrill voice called out.
"Pai…" he couldn't say anymore. He couldn't make out the fairy loli by his side, but he knew she was there.
However, even with his blurry vision, he could make out other features of the area.
Bodies. All people he had once known. Donna, Flora, Quinn, Sara, Amber, Marjorie, Stanley, and so, so many more. All dead.
"Aah… Aaah…"
Tears once again hid Subaru's vision. So many people he knew were dead.
But why was he sad? It's not like he wouldn't see them again. He was going to die, he would certainly see them again. Then why was he so hesitant to see them in such a way?
Ah. That was it. He was the person who stopped a mitachurl. He was supposed to be invincible. He was supposed to be a hero. But he couldn't stop this. He couldn't even dream of defeating Stormterror; he didn't even know where to begin.
And like that, he had betrayed everyone's trust in him.
'I want to protect them all, but how can I? I can't do anything better than dying. I can't handle this!'
Hearing another bout of screaming, Subaru noticed a large shade of blue approaching him, roaring and booming as it did.
'I can't do anything right, can't I?'
Natsuki Subaru was thusly murdered by the Dragon Stormterror.
Extra A/N: Yeeeeaaahhh, so, I may have issues. I guess I just used this bit to work them out. Also, no need to leave a review for this bit, I know it's a mess.
