Chapter 14: Safe Haven

Barbara Pegg was a great day so far, by the grace of the Anemo Archon. The sermons held that day as well as the prayer sessions were incredibly heart-warming. She had just received a new shipment of Jueyun Chillies that morning. More importantly, when she sang to the public earlier that day, people had ended up keeping their hands to themselves. Being Mondstadt's idol was not easy work, but on days like these, Barbara could easily see the smiles of the ones who would watch her. For once, a day of singing did not leave her weary for the rest of the day.

However, it cannot be said that she didn't have her worries. She still had patients to heal. Amber had made very good progress with her recovery, but there was still the matter of the other patient.

The dark-haired traveller came in with a bang, even though he was unconscious. Just as he was brought in, the knights immediately started to share that the boy had taken down a mitachurl with its own axe. When the boy was brought to her for healing, she couldn't help but admit that she was ever so slightly curious about his body's secrets.

A short session later, she realized that she couldn't even wrap her head around him.

The boy was an enigma. His damaged unidentified Vision was sealed within him, he had signs of Abyssal Infection but the boy seemed completely fine, that same infection patch had all but absorbed the Elemental Energy that Barbara provided it. The boy was dying from that Vision within him. Barbara had to fill out a whole page with everything she'd discovered, fully intending to hand the page to Albedo later.

Speaking of the boy, it was high time that she checked in on him.

As she walked to the boy's room, she couldn't help but hum a tune. There were times when she would feel creative and start making tunes on her own. And after such a good day, she was certain that the Anemo Archon was guiding her to another great song for her to create.

Just as she took the turn to the boy's room, however, she was forced to stop humming.

The boy had barged out of the door, as if ready to run away.

While Barbara briefly registered the fact that he was awake and alright, she couldn't help but feel as if there was something wrong. The boy's eyes were frantic, more than anything she'd ever seen. He also hadn't changed out his hospital gown, it was as if he'd just jumped out of bed. After having his eyes roam across the entire hallway in the span of half a second, they finally rested on hers.

His mouth contorted inwards, and his eyes widened.

Suddenly, the boy ran to her. Shocked by the sudden approach, Barbara leapt to the side to avoid him. However, to her surprise, the boy didn't grab hold of her. All he did was run away.

"Subaru, wait!" another voice called from behind her. Looking back, she noticed that flying creature that appeared by his side earlier. Paimon, she called herself.

"Paimon? What's going on?" Barbara asked, trying to understand what was going on.

"Paimon doesn't know! Subaru woke up screaming, then just ran away! Seriously, what is wrong with him?!"

Crossing her eyes in worry, Barbara opened the now shut door to the boy, Subaru's, room. Peering inside, she'd all but confirmed what she'd seen a moment ago and what Paimon had said.

The bed was misaligned and the blanket was thrown away. The small statue of the Anemo Archon on the countertop had fallen to the ground, still rolling. All in all, it seemed that the boy had just jumped out of bed and ran away. But why?

"Hello?" another voice called out. Amber, she recognized. "Huh? Where did Subaru go?"

"Amber, um, Stinky Space just ran away," Paimon reported to her. "Paimon doesn't know why, but he just woke up screaming, then ran away."

Amber stayed silent upon hearing her say that. "Well, did he have a bad nightmare? I mean, it had to be some kind of nightmare to make you want to run away, but he should come to his senses soon."

Barbara nodded too. "I believe so too, but we should still check in on him."


Subaru could feel his muscles beginning to burst within his body as he kept pushing himself to sprint away, but he didn't stop. He didn't want to.

'I thought this place was safe!' Subaru thought, not wanting to risk letting his thoughts known lest he invited the Witch once more. 'I thought I would be safe here! What the hell happened last time?! Amber shot me down from the sky, and Rosaria fucking killed me! Why is this happening to me?!'

Thinking about it was useless, Subaru realised. What mattered at that point was to keep himself safe. He wanted to protect Mondstadt for protecting him, but it was Mondstadt that killed him last time. That was why he decided that he wouldn't bother to help someone that hurt him.

He was a coward. He knew this. But he didn't care. Not when he was afflicted with a curse such as this one.

As he ran down the familiar stairs, this time not opting to jump down the roads like he had last time, he ended up earning the attention of everyone he crossed. People, especially the knights, tried to get him to stop, but he would just ignore them. If it were another time, he would have drawn pride in how he had outrun every single knight that came his way.

Running past the Market Square, the Adventurer's Guild, Wagner's Smithy, he finally found himself at the place he once feared over all else.

Upon seeing that front gate of Mondstadt, Subaru couldn't help but stop running. He heaved on his knees, trying to catch his breath. He barely even felt the tears flowing out of his eyes, for they were merging all too well with the sweat caking his body.

Looking up, he noticed one of the front guards approaching him, while the other alternated between looking at him and out at the bridge beyond the gate. However, he could not pay attention to what the knight was telling him. Blood was pounding too hard in his ears. His mind was too messy to process things properly, filled with a single question. Despite that, he still took slow, steady steps to the opposite end of the gate.

'Am I ever going to be safe?'

Subaru wanted to give back to his new safe haven last time. He wanted to become a fighter for them. Maybe he didn't want to be a knight originally, all so he could be an adventurer to find Rem instead. But Rem was the last thing on his mind now. While she was a key to understanding what was going on with him, he sure as hell could not meet her if he was traumatised to the point of being brain-dead. It was almost amusing that he couldn't ever see death as the end anymore.

And that was why it was paramount that he found a safe haven.

And now, nowhere was safe.

In his path to give back to his new home by defeating Stormterror for them, all he'd accomplished was to get himself pushed away by the Knights of Favonius, betrayed by his closest friends, and killed by someone he was warned about. And that way, Subaru realised something.

"I can't save you."

"Huh? What do you mean?" Lawrence asked from behind him, but Subaru didn't pay attention.

He would never be able to convince them. Maybe he would let them know that Stormterror is coming, but if he started to preach about it, Rosaria would come to kill him. That was an unavoidable fact.

And so, he realised something.

To save Mondstadt, Subaru had to save himself. If he kept sacrificing himself, he would end up making no progress in the slightest. Everything he would do would be for naught if he dies and has to start over. It was an awfully selfish train of thought, but at that point, Subaru would take anything. Subaru's only choice was to succumb to his cowardice and run away. He did not want to die, so he could not stay in Mondstadt. However, those creatures out there might pose a threat to him.

'I can still defeat the hilichurls with my whip,' Subaru realised. 'That means… I should be safer out there than I will be in here.

'But can I leave?'

Subaru was still self-identified as a hikikomori. He was a shut-in, a habit he could not shake from his home. Not even after being transported to another world. Did that mean that he could brave his fears for a slight moment and finally leave?

'Who am I kidding? I can't be Brave. I can't be a Knight. I'm leaving because it's the coward's way out.'

However, was he ready to leave Mondstadt? Was he ready to break his habits?

Looking down, he realised that he'd already done it.

He was seeing patches of grass on his sides, with the fortified walls of Mondstadt behind him. He could see the other knight by the gate gazing at him, still wary of him. They were all behind him.

Natsuki Subaru had left Mondstadt.

And he didn't feel any different.

He was still the same piece of shit that he was before. He hadn't changed in the slightest. This development did not come from his own growth, it came as a compromise he made himself.

And so, Subaru sought no joy from breaking his habits. For he still had them, even though it only seemed like he broke them.

"I want to go home," Subaru realised. "I'm done with this other world bullshit. I don't even want to go back to that world.

"Did you hear me?!" Subaru yelled to the sky, not caring about the way the two knights were watching him from nearby. "I'm done! Take me back to Japan! Wake me up from this simulation, I don't know, I don't care! Whoever brought me here, take me back already! I'm done! I've had enough! I'll start going to school! I'll start making my parents proud! Just… take me back home, please… can you hear me? … I can Return by – "

Using the presence of the two knights behind him, Subaru was able to summon the Witch to himself.

"I love you," she greeted him.

"I don't know who you are," Subaru said, ignoring the way her hand penetrated his chest. "I don't know if I ever did."

"I love you," she said as if she understood where he was coming from.

"Please… if you're hearing me… take me back. Not to that other world, but back to Japan. Back to my family. Please. I'm tired of dying. Of feeling this pain. So please, just stop."

"I love you," she responded.

Subaru grit his teeth as her hand lightly squeezed his heart. "Didn't you hear me?!" he yelled back. "Take me back, already! I know you're the one who took me here, you gave me this curse, didn't you?! So take me back, goddammit! You owe me that much!"

"I love you," she concluded as her hand retreated from his chest, leaving the world back to normal and him breathless.

Gasping, Subaru fell to the ground, only just noticing the waterfall of tears emerging from his eyes.

"So, you're not gonna do it, huh?"

Baring his non-existent fangs, Subaru jumped back onto his feet. He ran. He ignored the voices of the knights behind him. He ignored the sound of birds fluttering. He ignored the way one kid shouted at him about god knows what. All that mattered to him was escaping this cursed world he landed in.

And so he ran yet again. Ignoring the way his legs screamed at him, he kept running and running.

He ran past so many different obstacles, cliffs, houses, weird structures, huts, he could barely register any of them. The world had become a blur as he ran and ran. For some reason, the speed at which he was travelling comforted him. The blur at which the world went by was letting him feel like he was escaping it. Almost as if he ran a little faster, he could end up back home.

And so he ran and ran until he dropped.

His legs suddenly gave way under him, his muscles seizing up and paralysing themselves. He barely even put up a defence as his head rapped against the dirt floor. He ignored the way the now loose dirt would enter his nose as he wheezed a few more breaths.

He couldn't move. He couldn't stand. He heard things approaching him, along with several familiar yells.

Hilichurls. Another group of hilichurls were coming after him, ready to take him apart just like they had done last time. However, despite everything he'd done to grow, his current state was the most helpless he could ever be. He could barely even lift a finger, much less swing his whip to attack the incoming horde.

'I shouldn't have called the witch,' Subaru realised. 'I shouldn't have wrought that miasma around me again.'

Looking behind, he noticed how his vision started to get darker and darker.

'I guess… I'll be a little smarter about how I run away next time.'

The last thing he noticed before falling unconscious was a blue burst of light that emerged from the middle of the horde.


Subaru blinked as he stirred back into consciousness. Looking up, he was bewildered to see a night sky.

"I don't remember… wait, this isn't even a ceiling!"

However, Subaru could note something wrong with the sky. The stars were not the ones he was familiar with. The normal sky held familiar constellations, but the current one was as if a child had decided to pockmark a black canvas with white dots traced with glitter. The appearance of the stars was completely at random. There was just something inherently wrong about this place.

Finally gaining a bearing of his surroundings, Subaru noticed that he was in a dark-walled room with an open roof. There was nothing in the room other than the bed he was laying on as well as some boxes and crates nearby. There was an opening in the room nearby, probably a substitute for a door.

Getting out of the room, Subaru gazed out of the glassless window. Upon seeing the sights, he couldn't help but sharply inhale in shock.

The dark blue of the sky drifted to a purple shade as it drifted down to the horizon. However, that was all. There was nothing else. It was as if his room, and the rooms connected to it, were suspended in midair. Almost as if he was in a parallel dimension.

"At this rate, that can be the only explanation. Have I been isekai'ed again?"

A glimmer of hope rose from within his heart.

"Am I… being taken back home?"

Briefly flexing his muscles, Subaru confirmed that he was feeling alright. His muscles seemed to have lost their sore nature entirely. It was rather surprising, however. He knew that after an intense run as he had just done, he would be incredibly sore for a few days. But then, why did he wake up feeling like a million bucks?

Subaru shook his head, realizing that it was better to figure out what to do then instead of figuring out those weird questions. Nodding to himself, Subaru turned away from the window and headed out of the room.

The moment he stepped outside, he heard another voice.

"My Lord! You're awake!"

'My Lord?'

Subaru was taken aback by the sudden greeting. Fearing that he had inadvertently met some kind of royalty, he turned around, ready to bow. However, what he saw surprised him.

A short man wearing a dark-blue robe that also hooded over his head, further adorned by a white plague mask on his face, was bowing down to him.

Subaru curtly turned around, making sure that there was no one behind him.

"Are you… talking to me?" Subaru asked the unusual person.

"Of course, my Lord," the person replied. Their voice was unusually distorted; he couldn't even make out the gender of the speaker. "It was a delight to find that you'd awoken."

"Wait, wait, hold up," Subaru cut in. "Where are we? What am I doing here? What am I the Lord of? And who are you?"

"Who… am I?" the being echoed back. "Well, I don't know. None of us do, after all. The Abyss has claimed everything that we are."

"Abyss?"

"… It seems the words of the Mistress is true. You don't remember anything, don't you, my Lord? You don't remember how we fell? How we lost everything, and succumbed to the influence of the Abyss?"

"I… what?"

Subaru couldn't help but take a wary step back. These beings somehow knew about his amnesia before he even greeted himself. Sure, Subaru hadn't ever bothered hiding his condition, but to hear that in just a day, it would have gotten this far? And at this point, there were only two people that knew about his condition: Amber and Paimon. He still hadn't introduced himself in Mondstadt, after all.

"How do you know that I have amnesia?"

"Because you don't remember, of course!" the being responded, its tone turning more joyful as it spoke. "You don't remember how you ruled over us! Over the Abyss!"

"Wait, hold up, rule over the Abyss? What… What is this place? What are you?"

Even though Subaru couldn't see it, he knew that the creature was smirking behind their mask.

"I've lost my name, I simply go by title. I am a Mage for the Abyss. And we are in one of the ruins ruled by the Abyss Order."

"The Abyss Order…"

As of then, Subaru had understood that anything with the word 'Abyss' was something to be wary of. While Abyssal Crystals were halfway exceptions, almost everything else would lead to ruin of some kind. Moreover, just by looking at the Abyss Mage before him, he could feel the way their mind was twisted.

'I'm with the villains of this world, aren't I? And they see me as their leader for some reason.'

"Ah, I still need to invite her!" the Abyss Mage broke Subaru out of his thoughts. "Please wait for a moment, my Lord. The Mistress did express her desire to meet her Lord."

"Um, okay… Who's this 'Mistress' again?"

"We only know her as the Mistress, my Lord. I know that you will know her, though."

The Mage gestured to the side, allowing Subaru to not only look in the direction he was pointed to but also let him chide himself for not understanding the entire hall before interacting with the creature by his side.

However, there wasn't much to observe in the first place. There was only one stone structure at the end of the hallway. The stone spires were surrounded with thorny vines, and the spires themselves bent into the shape of a diamond with a flat bottom.

Suddenly, the opening of the diamond flooded itself with a green light. A portal, Subaru realized. This device was some kind of a portal.

And out of it, emerged a familiar individual.

She was wearing dark clothes that hung to her curves very well. There were frills placed around her neck and a short skirt with white traces to them. Her slashed black latex tights went up to her lower thigh, which was worn with short heels that clicked on the floor as she walked out of the portal. Her corset was wrapped tightly around her torso, its strings made of thick dark rope that made her seem all the more imposing. Her shoulders would have been left bare if it weren't for the crimson cape that was draped along her left side alone that served a jarring contrast to the blacks of the rest of her getup. Moreover, the exposed upper body revealed a network of black veins running under her fair skin. Her arms were adorned with similar latex gloves, but with frills near the wrists.

It was almost ridiculous to see her face in such a dominatrix maid getup, however. The face of someone he knew very well, although it was different. Her visage was short and held a curt smile, filled with amusement at everything. Her sky-blue hair draped over her right eye, almost hiding half of her face. The rest of her long hair was pulled back into a high ponytail, although it barely reached her neck. Her sole visible left eye was a shade of blue that Subaru had been seeing in the few good moments in his dreams lately.

"It really is good to meet you again," the woman greeted him. "Subaru-kun."

There was no doubt about it. The woman before him was the only person he remembered from that other world. The one before him was the female oni named Rem.


A/N: You wanted Rem? Well, be careful what you wish for.

I know that this is a pretty short chapter, but don't worry about it. While the upcoming chapters may be short, their impact will be really massive. That's why I'm honestly loving the writing process for this death arc.

After all, isn't it always exciting to introduce an antagonist?

Now, I need you to understand that I do not like pulling my punches. I try to maximise the impact of my writing as much as possible, and since my greatest skill in writing is coming up with events, I highly exploit that. Hence, this arc is going to be central to the story, as it will foreshadow a lot of the future suspenses. Also, I designed this story to be as cruel to Subaru as I could make it, so it certainly will be like that. Just like standard Re: Zero, you'll have to wait for a while to get an immense payoff resolution. That's why, after the previous chapter, I'm asking you to be patient.

Also, really sorry about introducing the Aether and Lumine in Lugunica Omake earlier. I honestly have no idea what I should write for that. I thought that if I considered it for a while, I might get something, but I'm not very excited about what I'd come up with. Also, there's just so much that I need to know before I can even attempt this omake. I'm still at chapter 16 of Arc 7, and I'm not reading it at the moment. I honestly don't like the web novel; it's too slowly paced for my liking.

Instead, I've been doing other stuff in my free time. I'm aiming to get Zhongli in Genshin, he'd definitely pair well with my Hu Tao. I've started watching Bleach. Oh, and I'm slowly changing my Genshin roster too. Now it's becoming Hu Tao, Razor, Bennett and Jean. Some may say that Jean and Bennett are useless together since they're both healers, but I honestly use Bennett only for the attack boost and Overloads with Razor rather than for his healing. Jean's a much more effective healer, and the best one that I have on my roster. I'm trying to build Barbara, Keqing (got her recently from Zhongli banner, still pushing to get him) and Xingqiu, but I'm hardly getting any good artifacts for them. I'm probably gonna say screw it and throw my Razor artifact setup to Keqing to try her out someday.

And what's worse than artifact farming? Ore farming. I need Cor Lapis to ascend Keqing and Zhongli if I get him. I hate ore mining with all my being. It's just so much work for so little reward. I've resolved to buying Cor Lapis whenever they're available in the store, but who knows how long I'll have to wait to get enough to Ascend a character?

Well, that's enough of my rant. Onto the reviews!


BigSmokeYeet: Once again, be careful what you wish for, buddy.


raidercorporate: I honestly want to write them too. I'll try to find some way to throw them into the story, just like the "Unthinkable Present".


ObsidianUnknown66: Really sorry, but I can't make the omake just yet. I still need to think of a good way to implement it. But thanks for appreciating my Subaru portrayal!


MetallicCube: Yeah, you've pointed out most of my thought process for the chapter. But for Rosaria, she had already concluded in her mind that Subaru was guilty. Remember in the first few chapters of that death arc, I depicted someone following Subaru and watching his every step? That was Rosaria, not Diluc as some guessed. Watching him try to gather information about Stormterror and get stronger tirelessly before Stormterror actually arrived at Mondstadt told her that Subaru knew that it would arrive. I would have explained it a little better in the chapter, but I couldn't have without breaking Rosaria's character.

Oh, and I have way more ideas for the Dragon's Blood than simply 'making his arm go plop'. It's going to be a key part of Subaru's development in the future. Also, for authorities, I will tell you that not much has changed with him since he arrived at Teyvat. That means that he certainly does have his authorities, he just doesn't remember them.


Senji2: Well, that's the beauty of Natsuki Subaru. People don't want to admit it, but they don't like Subaru because he's not some ideal alpha male one would find in most anime. He's a sheer deviation from expectations, since he's more human than anyone else. True, you may not like him as he is right now. But don't we all have those moments when we hate ourselves, because we feel like we're just not enough? I also didn't like Subaru in his cringey moments, but it took me a while to understand that that was only because he reminded me of myself in my own low moments. I'm not suggesting that this is the case for you as well, I don't know you well enough to say that. All I ask is that even though you may not like Subaru when he's like this, accept that this is just a part of his development. After all, it's only when we fall that we realize we can climb higher than ever.

Also, I'm still insistent that Subaru's not gonna regain his memories soon. In fact, he won't restore them in the entire Mondstadt Arc, even though he will remember certain bits and pieces.


Re2o: Nah, it's not gonna be like the Pride If. I'm not letting Subaru needlessly die, no matter what. Yes, Dvalin is a highly dangerous threat, but didn't Subaru spearhead the attack against the White Whale? I will admit that Dvalin is more dangerous, but I do have a plan to let Subaru defeat him.


EmperorCeph: Well, as you can see, that is exactly what happened. Good prediction.


Guest: For Venti, I could have used him in this arc. But I feel like there wouldn't have been a lot if I had. With Subaru meeting up with the Abyss and Rem, he can learn so much more about the situation than what Venti can help him with.

As for your concerns about how long this will take, I completely agree with that. Since this is the beginning and Subaru still needs to grow, this is going remarkably slowly. However, believe it or not, the next full arc is not going to be on a Genshin Event, but rather something I will create on my own. This means that Subaru won't have to 'replay' as much in the upcoming story, until he hits the start of the next Arc. I'm going to speed through the other events and work through this other arc along with that. Yes, it will still take a while, but I'll probably try to complete Book 1 (Mondstadt) for now. I'll take a break, maybe for another story, before moving into Book 2 (Liyue).


kerrowe: Well, Stormterror can still be attracted by Subaru's Miasma. I had already used that mechanic in the first death loop for this arc.


Guest: Yeah, I know what that's like. How many times have I gone through the same exact thing... Glad to hear that my story did that to you, though. Hope you survived work the next day.


Well, that's all I can answer for now! I'll see you next chapter.