Author's note:
This chapter's a bit longer than the last. Enjoy!
The Next Day
The house was very far out of the way, off in the hills far away from any prying eyes. Ryoko supposed that that was probably why Dr. Ogai had selected such a spot. After all, if one was going to mess around with things that were liable to send the average human into an existential crisis or drive the neighbors insane, then it probably paid not to have your research interrupted. As she turned off the two-lane road and onto the long gravel driveway ("disused, weeds growing in, he either hasn't been here in awhile or doesn't care" she noted calculatingly) she contemplated what she might find. Dr. Ogai hadn't been seen in a long while and was considered a missing person. She wasn't sure if he was at this hideout, but she wouldn't put it past him to be holed up in a basement somewhere, conducting strange experiments to try and summon beings from beyond the Universe.
Though, considering Saya's existence and her suspicions of Ogai's involvement of that, he probably had already succeeded. Then again, she supposed, based on the Rogue Incubator's report, such creatures didn't all seemed to be naturally hostile. Though, the notion of tears in reality opening was not a pleasant one, at least Kyubey seemed to be taking care of it, doing something useful for once.
She hoped that the Magical Girl who was sitting in the front passenger seat beside her and the Rogue Drone sitting on her lap were up to fighting, or could handle things like Saya, because Ryoko didn't know what they were going to find.
As Ryoko pulled around a bend and saw the house through a copse of trees (along with a a car parked outside of it), she supposed that maybe she should give them a bit more credit. After all, the Rogue Drone had been the one to drive Saya out of the Hospital, and the girl (Mami was her name), was a Magical Girl, so it wasn't like she didn't have any experience fighting Eldritch Horrors.
Ryoko had picked them up from an apartment and left the other four girls there to wait. Nagisa had wanted to come, but Mami had put her foot down and refused. After the short argument, she'd asked the other three girls to keep Nagisa company while they were away and, in the unlikely event that they weren't back that night, for Homura to stay the night with Nagisa. The black-haired girl had seemed slightly annoyed at the loss of the evening, but had eventually acquiesced.
The car came to a stop and the three of them stepped out. Key noticed that Ryoko had drawn that shotgun out again (where did she keep it hidden?!) and was looking with narrowed eyes at the house. It was a simple looking building, wood paneled and not too big. All in all, it looked like just another country home, if a bit shabby and weathered. The car parked in front of the garage was similarly not notable, other than the fact that it seemed a bit faded, as though it had been sitting out in the sun too long.
"It certainly looks normal enough," Mami said as she surveyed the property.
"Yes, it does," agreed Ryoko in a shrewd voice. She strode towards the front door of the house, Mami and Key falling into step behind her.
"Still, stay sharp" Ryoko continued, "we've no idea what he might have inside."
Mami nodded and in a flash, she had transformed into her Magical Girl uniform. Key hopped up on her shoulder, then froze. He looked at Mami and it seemed like, for a moment, he was afraid that she'd be angry at him for perching on her. Mami however, smiled kindly and gave him a little scratch under his chin. Key relaxed with a grateful smile and the two of them turned back towards the door of the cabin.
Soundtrack: Saya No Uta OST - Seek
Ryoko was directly in front of the door and, after a moment, rapped it smartly with her knuckles. There was no answer, nor did they hear anything in the ensuing seconds. No sound of anyone moving or walking around inside the house could be heard, only the wind whistling slowly through the trees. Each of them felt a bit unsettled at the lack of an answer, was Dr. Ogai sitting somewhere inside, perhaps planning an ambush?
Ryoko glanced back, first at Key and Mami, and then at the car that had been parked in the driveway when they got there. She turned back and knocked loudly on the door.
"Dr. Ogai, it's your colleague Dr. Tanbo, the Hospital has been concerned about your long absence" she called in a very cheery voice that did not match the way she gripped the shotgun in front of her.
Still no answer.
Sighing, Ryoko took a step back. Before Key or Mami could ask what she was doing, she'd lashed out in a vicious kick. The door was slammed back on its hinges and the three of them peered through the entryway. There was nobody there. At least nobody was in the landing, which lead into a combined kitchen and living room. Ryoko took a cautious step forward, shotgun held out in front of her at the ready. Mami moved up beside her, a musket appearing in her hands and the three of them swept the room with their eyes.
Still nothing.
"Maybe . . . we should check the rest of the house?" Key suggested tentatively.
Ryoko nodded, "room by room, we need to be thorough" she said into the mental connection that Key had opened between the three of them. "And stay together, we have no idea if he has any surprises set up for intruders."
Mami and Key nodded and the three of them moved together throughout the house. There was a bedroom that looked pristine (covers folded and clothing all put away neatly), a bathroom, a study that, to Ryoko's frustration, was completely bare. The basement was similarly bare, being a simple concrete one with a few smaller rooms including one that seemed to have been intended as a pantry and one that was covered with metal and appeared to be a freezer.
"Why would he have such a large freezer?" Mami asked curiously as she gazed at the room through the door (it wasn't on at the moment.)
"I'm not sure" Ryoko said pensively.
A horrible thought occurred to Mami and she blanched.
"What if-" she began, then stopped, putting a hand to her mouth at the thought. She stared into the freezer with wide eyes, unable to articulate her thoughts. Ryoko, however, seemed to get what she was saying and finished the thought.
"-what if he hid bodies in here?"
Mami nodded and Ryoko sighed, "it's a possibility, though none of my research ever connected him to outright murder, so I don't think he ever did anything like that. Still, best to keep your guard up."
Key wrapped his tail around the back of Mami's neck, trying to give her some comfort. Mami took a deep breath and pushed her face back to being calm.
"I'm okay, it's fine, I'm okay" she said with a bit of a forced smile.
Key looked concernedly at her and Ryoko looked calculatingly at her as well. Mami squirmed a bit under their combined gazes. Then Ryoko sighed.
"It's alright to say you're scared you know. We won't think any less of you for it."
Mami blinked, looking a bit warily at Ryoko. The Doctor gazed back impassively, seemingly waiting for the younger girl to make the next move. Key nuzzled Mami's neck and she instinctively reached up to pet his head.
Finally, with a sigh, she looked down at the floor and spoke. "It's just that, the idea of finding dead bodies in a freezer. I mean . . . that almost sounds like something a Witch would do. To think of a human doing that caught me off guard. It's not like I haven't seen dead bodies before, but usually Witches and Familiars ea- . . . eat them before I can really see much."
Mami was staring at the floor, wondering if she'd said too much. She heard Ryoko sigh yet again. Then the older woman moved closer and put a hand on Mami's shoulder, "one of the worst thing about knowing about this sort of thing is figuring out that Humans can be pretty scummy too. When you fight Eldritch Horrors, it can get easy to assume that, just because they're trying to destroy us, that we're all good. Most of the times we are I suppose, or at least, 'better.' But it makes the fact that a lot of us can be utter filth hard to swallow too."
Mami gulped, then nodded. Ryoko gave her shoulder another squeeze before moving off back up the stairs. Mami looked up, gazing at the Doctor with a curious expression on her face. Key was looking at her as well, his eyes wide. Then Mami shook her head and walked after Ryoko.
The house appeared well and truly deserted, as well as providing an annoying lack of information.
"Why and how did he leave his car if he wasn't still here or planning to come back for things!" Ryoko said with some frustration as they stood in the living room. She had combed the rooms once again and come up with nothing before returning to the living room.
"Maybe this was just a vacation home for him?" Mami suggested tentatively. "I mean, even he probably had hobbies, didn't he?"
Ryoko looked slightly annoyed, though not at Mami's suggestion, more at the concept that they might've wasted their time coming out to what amounted to a country getaway home.
"Wait, what about that circular thing in the backyard?" came Key's voice.
The two others turned to see Key staring out of a glass sliding door leading into the back of the house. As he had said, there was a circular object, obviously a well of some sort, standing free in the lawn.
"It's worth investigating" Ryoko said with a shrug as she slid open the door and walked out, Key and Mami behind her.
The well was made of stones set into poured concrete, not very ornate or eye-catching. Nothing about it seemed especially noteworthy. Nevertheless, Ryoko strode around it, tapping it with her foot and seeming to make measurements as Mami and Key watched. Finally, she picked up a nearby stone and dropped it in. They waited, expecting to hear a soft plunk of the stone hitting water. But instead, they heard a soft but very audible crack.
Ryoko exchanged a look a mingled smugness and triumph with the other two as she withdrew a flashlight from a backpack she'd brought and shined it down into the well. The light beam shot down for a ways before revealing that the well did not end in reflective water, but instead in a bare concrete bottom.
"A faux-well" Ryoko declared, obviously pleased with the discovery. "Now, how to get down safely to investigated."
"I can help with that," Mami said, smiling in her turn. She waved her hand and golden ribbons sprung into being. Their ends wrapped around several large trees nearby and then the other ends snaked down into the well, weaving together to form a ladder.
Ryoko nodded approvingly and gave the ribbon ladder an experimental tug. It held firm, so she began to descend into the well. Mami and Key made to follow, but she waved them back.
"Not yet, I still have to see if there's actually anything down there. Besides, I don't know if it would fit all of us at once."
They watched her progress as she descended, finally reaching the bottom of the well. She began casting around after that, feeling up the walls and making marks with some chalk. Finally, she seemed to find what she was looking for and gave a stupendous shove. A door flew open and she called up for them to come down. They did so and soon, they found that Ryoko had managed to find a hidden door that opened onto some sort of underground hallway.
Once more, tension seemed to have returned to them as they walked slowly down the hallway. It was smooth and bare, and they heard no sound at all from it or behind them or in front of them. But far from easing their nerves, this only served to intensify them. What if Dr. Ogai was simply waiting somewhere for them to pass so he could spring his ambush?
Finally, though, they came to a door at the end of the hallway. Ryoko gave it an experimental push and it yielded. She looked at the two others and they nodded curtly, signaling they were ready. Holding her shotgun and her flashlight at the ready, Ryoko slowly pushed open the door.
The beam of the flashlight seemed to barely illuminate the room beyond, almost as though there was a dark mist hanging about the room. The little bits that were visible as the light shone around looked unnatural and made it feel as though there were a few ice cubes in each of their guts.
Still, there was no movement, nor any sound other than their shallow breathing. There was no indication that anybody else aside from themselves was there. Wanting to get the investigation over with, Mami lifted a foot to step forward.
"Stop" Ryoko said, stepping front of them, blocking Mami's view. "He's written a lot on the walls, I need to get rid of it."
"It sure looks weird, that's for sure," Key said mildly. Mami and Ryoko looked down at him and their faces grew incredulous. Key was staring at the room with an expression of slightly disturbed curiosity.
"Isn't it . . . isn't is painful to look at?" Ryoko asked hesitantly.
Key nodded, "it's . . . it's uncomfortable, but it's not painful in the strictest sense of the word."
Key was staring, quite blatantly into the room, and in an instant one of his appendages had found a light switch and flipped it. While Ryoko and Mami continued to look at him in equal parts curiosity and incredulity, he continued to stare into the room steadily. He didn't look especially comfortable, but neither was he cringing and flinching away as he surveyed all the strange characters and objects that the room contained.
On instinct, Mami glanced into the room herself over Ryoko's shoulders. A sick feeling shot into her gut as she beheld what was obviously some sort of experimentation room. The details of the room however were lost as her eyes were drawn immediately to symbols and drawings that had been painted, scratched and drawn over what seemed like every inch of wall. Mami swayed slightly as the symbols seemed to shift and shimmer slightly, almost as though they were pulsing with a malevolent energy.
"Mami, are you okay!?" Key's voice came, and with it, she felt his presence in her mind. It was like his telepathy, but in this case whereas telepathy only endured as long as the person was "speaking," Key's presence didn't leave. Mami blinked and felt the sick feeling begin to leave her. She shook her head and steadied herself, looking into the room. The symbols and images didn't look any more inviting, but it seemed that after a small bit, she had become used to them. After all, it wasn't as though she hadn't seen things that didn't make any physical sense in Witch Labyrinths. Key's telepathic presence was a great help too and both she and Key stared distastefully into the room.
"Here" Key said, and seemed to open up constant mental connection with Ryoko, who shook her head, looking slightly annoyed. After a moment though, she sighed slightly and turned, looking into the room with narrowed eyes.
"Odd," she said. "I suppose, since you're made to deal with Witch Energy and the like that this doesn't bother you, and by that measurement, you can help us with a sort of Mental Buffer."
Key looked pensive "it is unpleasant, we should get rid of it as soon as possible. But it's not . . . debilitating I suppose would be the best word for it. I mean, when Homura and I encountered Saya, she was severely disturbed but was able to move past it because of the same concept. Magical Girls are made to fight Eldritch Creatures, so I suppose there's a certain mental hardening to it. Though of course, a normal human like yourself would probably have enough of a sixth sense not to want to sick around with this sort of stuff. Only someone who already wasn't mentally stable or was . . . well I suppose the appropriate word would be 'idiotic,' enough to think that they were strong enough or that it was a good idea at all would stick around these things. At least, in the sense that they thought that some great wisdom could be gotten out of them."
His tone had gotten a bit biting towards the end and Ryoko looked curiously at him as she got out a camera and began sweeping it slowly around to get a copy of the symbols (that hopefully wouldn't be harmful in a video medium.
"You seem rather . . . vehement about your dislike. Why do these" she gestured at the room at large, "make you angry."
Key blinked, then looked at the ground, seeming to think. Mami looked at him curiously too. Key had sort of sprung into her life and she liked him as a person (how could she not, considering all he'd done for her and how he'd been her friend). But now that she thought about it, how did he go from the sort of husk that Kyubey was, with very little personality and no emotions at all, to the living thing with personality traits of his own? Sure, she'd seen the event, but she wondered how draining out emotions translated to a personality.
"I . . . I don't like things that hurt people. The girl that I got emotions from, she was nice and always loved me. What I did to her . . . what I put her through . . . it wasn't right! When I drained out her despair, I felt it all. I can still feel it in a way."
Key looked up and his eyes were now far away, almost glazed.
"She had to risk her life constantly and did it because it made her think that it was for a greater good. She had to miss time with her other friends, with her sister, because I told her to. She cried after the first few hunts because she had to kill things for the first time in her life and I didn't care! She worried about me because she couldn't tell if I was ever hurting or not! And then I betrayed her and she felt more hurt than ever in her life! I can still feel the horror she felt when I told her that she was going to become a Witch!"
He'd slowly been talking faster and faster as he went on, his eyes widening. But as he came to the end of the speech, he seemed to catch himself and shook his head. He blinked rapidly, his eyes seeming to have watered as he was speaking. Then he looked back up at them, appearing to remember he was talking to them.
"A-anyway . . . things that do stuff like that. Things that hurt other people for no good reason, or that take advantage of them, or even just hurt them because they think it's the right thing to do. They- . . ." he seemed to struggle to form words. He looked down again, his face growing ashamed.
"They remind me . . . they remind . . ." he trailed off. However, Ryoko and Mami glanced at each other and both seemed to understand what he was trying to say.
"They remind you of yourself Key?" Mami prompted quietly. Key twitched and nodded, the movement stiff and jerky. Mami knelt down beside Key, reaching out a hand to pet him. Ryoko, seeming to decide that this was best left to Mami, continued to film the room. Mami rubbed her hand across Key's back and he arched it in response. Mami almost expected him to start purring as she spoke.
"Key, how long has this been bothering you?"
Key looked away, "it's nothing really important Mami, we should probably be focusing on what we're doing here. I mean, it's not like I'm hurting worse than any of the Witches we save right?"
He grinned weakly at the last line, clearly meaning it to be a joke of sorts. But it fell flat and Mami gazed concernedly down at him.
Soundtrack: Puella Magi Madoka Magica Rebellion OST - Doubt
"Key, you aren't Kyubey, you know that right?"
Key blinked, "of course I'm not Kyubey."
Mami tilted her head, wondering what to say next. She wasn't even quite sure what she was digging for. After a few moments, she decided to just ask a few questions.
"Key, what was it like when you were . . . when you were part of Kyubey?"
Key blinked, behind them, Ryoko stiffened before continuing to film, though she seemed to be paying more attention to the conversation.
"I . . . I don't know . . . it's hard to explain because it was so different. I was still 'me' in a way. I mean, I have memories of the things that 'I,' or at least my body did. It wasn't like I remember everything Kyubey did or thought, or that I know what every other Kyubey Drone or body or whatever was doing. My only memories are the ones that my body experienced or carried out."
Mami nodded, "so you were still 'you' even back then?"
Key's response was instantaneous, "no . . . I mean . . . I don't know. I was only really 'myself' after I absorbed all that emotion and information out of the one Witch Girl. But before that there was just Kyubey's will and that was it. I did what Kyubey wanted and did everything for the mission. I suppose it's like the idea of having a lot of computers doing the same thing, but there are individual computers, or even just individual 'profiles' for the task. Although . . ."
Mami felt curious as Key trailed off. He looked like he was thinking hard about something. After a few seconds of silence, she decided to break it.
"Yes, Key?"
Key looked uncomfortable, as though he wasn't sure of what he was thinking.
"Well . . . sometimes when I was given a bit more . . . 'freedom' I suppose would be the word there were some weird things that happened. Kyubey was more focused on other things and places then. Or he was just content to let the instructions he'd given us drones play out without interference. He sometimes 'drives' one of the bodies directly when it suits him or when he thinks its important enough, though normally he just contents himself with receiving updates. It's not individuality because he's still there in a passive sense. But more actively, sometimes I would make mistakes."
"Mistakes?" Mami parroted the word, confused.
Key nodded, "'mistakes.' Like possibly letting slip some information that might turn a girl off from making a contract or even just . . . I don't know, it didn't happen often. I had to go through 'resets' after awhile to stop the 'errors.' Like I said, it wasn't anything compared to what happened when I finally got emotions but still. I mean, once I even didn't drive a target to despair because she'd helped me a lot and had been really good and nice to me."
His eyes grew distant.
"She was really something that girl. You know what's funny, she almost reminds me of Madoka. She was the same kind of person, nice, emotional, always willing to see the good in everyone. The best friend anyone could want." For a moment, his voice grew heavy with such self-loathing that Mami flinched instinctively, "she even knew that Magical Girls became Witches and she still didn't hate me. She was everything I could've wanted in a friend and I left her to be burned at the stake."
Mami reached out to pet Key again, but he pushed her hand away and looked at a wall, his face hard.
"Key" Mami said consolingly, "I don't think it was really your fault. How could it have been if you weren't even alive then?"
"If anyone can be blamed, it should be me Mami" Key's voice was hollow. "My whole existence has been one long train of misery and suffering inflicted innocent people who got in my way."
"But you didn't have a choice Key" Mami said consolingly. Even if that weren't strictly true, it seemed to her that if what Key said was accurate, at certain points when he might've had small choices, that he's actually used them to try and help Magical Girls. It was rather grim, but she supposed it was probably better to die outright than become a Witch, even if it was through being burned . . . at the . . . stake.
"Umm, Key, how long ago was the one girl burned at the stake?" she asked, a bit tentatively. She hadn't remembered anything like that when she'd seen Key's memories, though to be fair, that had more been a quick flash over the parts not pertinent to the current situation.
Key glanced up, seeming to read her worry.
"It wasn't recent, don't worry. It was a French girl in 1431 AD."
Mami blinked a bit. It was a bit disconcerting to be reminded that Key was centuries old, possibly older. Though, he did act in a weird blend of maturity and childishness. She supposed it was some consequence of his not being truly 'alive' until recently.
Ryoko however, was now staring at Key, a slightly incredulous expression on her face.
"The girl's name wouldn't happen to have been 'Joan of Arc' would it?" she asked.
Key smirked slightly and nodded. Mami blinked stupidly. She only knew that such a girl had existed and lead France to victory against the English and not much else, it was the history of a foreign land, so it didn't get much attention in history class. But to know that she had been a Magical Girl and what's more that Key had known her . . .
"You knew . . . Joan of Arc" Ryoko said bluntly, her eyes conveying a 'are you serious' look to them.
"Yep. Though people of her time would've called her 'Jeanne D'Arc,' or 'La Pucelle,' or heck we even called her 'Tart.'"
Ryoko shook her head slightly, muttering something under her breath and then went back to work.
Key turned back to Mami, a small smile on his face, "you know, Jeanne had a friend that reminds me of Homura too! Black hair, really serious, sort of 'dark hero' to contrast the lighthearted girl! Heck, her magical power was over shadows, so she really completed the whole feeling of 'rawr, I am dark and serious, rawr! Seriously, I could almost swear Riz was Homura's ancestor or something!"
Mami giggled, putting a hand to her face as she imagined Homura trying to do something similar.
There was a loud shaking sound and the two of them whirled around to see Ryoko shaking a can of spray paint.
"I'd suggest vacating the room or putting a mask on," she said in a businesslike tone as she pulled on a mask herself. Then, with a shrug, she went to work spraying white paint over the walls and anywhere that had some of the eldritch symbols on it. She hummed slightly as she did so, apparently rather cheerful in the fact that she was getting rid of the strange characters.
Mami conjured up masks made of ribbons for herself and Key, then she remembered something she'd forgotten during her conversation.
"I wonder where Dr. Ogai is? We haven't found any trace of him yet, have we?"
"He's over there," Ryoko said, her voice going a bit grim, "I'd suggest not looking if corpses bother you."
Mami had begun looking on instinct and caught a glimpse. She looked away in an instant, her eyes wide and her breath suddenly going shallow. The glimpse had revealed a mummified corpse, its eyes having long since rotted away along with its lips. Its visible teeth seemed to set its face into an eternal grimace as it stared sightlessly into the room.
"No wounds, possibly he just starved to death" Ryoko said as she continued to paint, she'd obviously done an examination of the corpse while Key and Mami had been talking. She seemed to be viewing it medically than otherwise, perhaps that helped her ignore its rather gruesome feel.
"Not sure why he would let himself starve, perhaps his sanity finally just snapped. Or maybe he couldn't take interacting with Saya anymore."
Key seemed a bit disconcerted. "I think I see another exit" he said, pointing at a very large door on one side of the room.
"I'm gonna see where it leads. Mami, do you want to come with?"
Mami shook her head, trying to keep her voice level and not betray the icy feeling in her gut.
"No Key . . . I'm fine."
Key nodded after a moment before he scuttled away and through the new door, obviously not wanting to stay in the same room as the corpse.
Mami felt slightly sick to her stomach but didn't want the others to think she couldn't handle things. After all, she was supposed to be the Senior Magical Girl, she was supposed to be able to lead the way and set an example for the others. If she didn't then who would? What would be the point of them even keeping her company. She took a deep, slightly shuddering breath and tried to calm herself.
Ryoko, as she sprayed paint over the symbols on the walls, looked at Mami with narrowed eyes before sighing.
Soundtrack: Puella Magi Madoka Magica Rebellion OST – Pulling My Own Weight
"I know that look," she said curtly. Mami turned to her, puzzled.
"That's the 'I have to put a brave face on because people won't like me if I'm not perfect' look" Ryoko said as she moved past Mami to spray some more.
Mami blinked, "I . . . I just . . . well I . . ."
Ryoko was peering around, making sure she'd gotten all the symbols, but she nodded as Mami spoke, "it's not fun, is it? Being the one who's supposed to know what to do, even if you feel like you're just faking your way through it." Mami looked to the side, her face crumpling slightly into a sad expression.
"It can get worse," Ryoko said emphatically, "when people you know don't see it. You can start to think that they only liked the 'you' that was perfect ideal. You start to feel like they won't want to be around you if don't live up to that perfect ideal all the time, or if you have to keep secrets from them."
Mami sniffed slightly, blinking her eyes rapidly as liquid grew in them.
"So you try even harder to not let your problems show. To not let people know that you don't have it all together and that you cry yourself to sleep each night."
Ryoko turned her gaze upon Mami and her face looked lined. Mami drew in a sharp breath. The expression was tired, burdened, and spoke of long years of lonely work. Mami could tell, it was similar to the look she had often seen on her own face when she looked in the mirror late at night.
"How do you do it?" Mami whispered, "how are you so strong?"
Ryoko sighed, ". . . it isn't easy" she finally said. "It's not a nice thing to know that there are things in the dark, and the light, that are abominations. That what people know about the world is often just a shiny facade. Sometimes just knowing feels like it's more than you can take."
"But how can you stand it!" Mami asked earnestly. She'd been a Magical Girl for several years and while she didn't regret it, she never particularly felt satisfied or even happy. Everyone had always abandoned her and she'd been semi-ostracized for her views that Magical Girls should always try and save as many people as possible. Those same views had cost her a friend she'd loved like a sister and her life seemed like it would be nothing but a downward spiral of her dealing with increasing odds and horrors.
Ryoko looked Mami in the eye, "well, having friends is a good help."
"I have friends" Mami said quickly. Ryoko gave her a look.
"And? Are they helping?"
Mami thought back to how happy she'd been to find Madoka and Sayaka, to find people who seemed to honestly want to spend time with her. She remembered how she'd had the horror of what a Magical Girl and Witches her finally revealed to her, how she'd felt like just giving up then. But she also remembered how her new friend, Key, had looked at her so understandingly, so confidently, had promised her that he wouldn't ever let her become a monster. She remembered the warmth she'd felt, driving off the cold of despair as he'd cleansed her Soul of the stain Kyubey had put there, of the gratitude she'd felt when she found that Key had known her before, and had been trying to help her to make up for things he felt he'd done. She remembered how, in spite of all that had been thrown at her, this past week had been one of the happier ones she'd had, because she wasn't alone anymore. She remembered the joy and happiness that had come of the fact that she had a new friend who was quite literally within arm's reach most of the time in Nagisa.
". . . they are" Mami said hesitantly. She wouldn't deny that she had felt better in the one sense since she gained her new friends. But she also couldn't deny that she didn't still feel nervous, worrying about how it was all going to end. She was already getting suspicions that Homura was hiding something, and she worried that Sayaka was starting to get fed up with not being able to do anything, or how Key seemed to be getting a bit antsy at times and . . . and . . . well there was too much to think about.
Ryoko watched her for a few seconds longer with a probing expression before speaking again.
"It's fine to feel sad you know" Ryoko said, "it's alright, natural even, to feel weak."
Mami looked at the older woman who smiled, "it took a long time for me to realize that it was fine that I didn't have it all together, that barely anyone does. Given what we're doing, we can only try our best. It's not shameful to feel lonely, or scared, or sad. It becomes shameful if we let those things stop us from doing the right thing, or from giving it our all."
"I already know that," Mami said, surprising even herself to hear a bit of resentment in her voice. What did Ryoko know? It's not as though she'd ever actually been a Magical Girl. She'd been allowed to grow up free of the responsibilities and doom that Mami had had placed on her.
Ryoko gave Mami a long hard look. Then she put a hand to her forehead and gave a sardonic chuckle, "I'm preaching, aren't I. Look, Mami" Mami looked up at Ryoko in some surprise to hear the Doctor call her by her first name. Ryoko was looking sympathetically at her, "wanting to have friends, to have people who care about you is not a sin. It's not a bad thing to want companionship even if you feel set apart from everyone else. I know when I was younger I felt like I was cut off from the rest of the human race because of what I knew and had seen. Let me tell you, it was horrible growing up feeling like asking for pity and affection from other people was just a sign of me being weak because I was supposed to be the person who fixed things. I was supposed to be some sort of hero who used my knowledge and smarts to save the day without putting anyone else in even remote danger."
Mami shifted uncomfortably but nevertheless stared with interest at Ryoko as the woman continued to speak.
"I spent so much time on my studies to try and figure out how to fix things and pushed everyone else away. It was only when I realized that I was starting to consider people's lives as expendable in pursuit if my goals that I finally was forced to take a step back and reevaluate things. I realized my friend would've been ashamed of me, of what I'd let myself become. It wasn't that the thing I was striving for was bad, but I was letting myself turn into something horrible to reach it. That plus the fact that my friend had always tried to keep things in perspective and have a nomral life . . ."
Ryoko paused for a moment before a fond smirk came onto her face, " . . . heh. It was funny really. Sometimes it felt like I was more focused on being a Magical Girl and all the supernatural stuff than she was. She kept me grounded instead of the other way around. I . . . well I really obsessed for a long while after she was gone. I . . I still do a lot, though I've tried to get better at it. One of my solutions was to start trying to make friends again, if only casual ones."
She smiled weakly, "it's . . . a work in progress. When I started my current job I decided to try and loosen up a bit. In public at least. And so I am known as rather peppy at work and my coworkers are rather fond of me. The nature of my true work and hobbies does tend to put a bit of a damper on deep friendships I'll admit. But I do have several people that I'd consider confidants and friends. At least on normal life that is."
Mami blinked as Ryoko stopped talking, thinking over what she'd said. Finally, after a few minutes contemplation, she responded.
"So . . . what are you suggesting as far as my life and friends go?"
"Let them in, do some regular stuff with them," Ryoko advised. "Let them see the person behind the Magical Girl. Being a Magical Girl isn't all you are Mami, or at least, it doesn't have to be."
Ryoko gestured to herself, her face and tone becoming a bit self-deprecating, "I mean, look at me? Psychologist for a madman, hunter of eldritch horrors, paranormal investigator, former Magical Girl Candidate, and on the side shamisen player."
Mami couldn't help herself. She giggled at the last one. "You play the shamisen?" she asked incredulously.
Ryoko shrugged, "it helps my nerves among other things. I don't know if you could call me a good Shamisen player. But my point is that you don't have to be slave to this job Mami, you're still your own person and the others should be allowed to see that."
"The door leads to a large exit in the side of the hill. The doors are covered by bushes and camouflage to hide it. It's probably how he got all the equipment in in the first place."
Key had returned from scouting the doorway. Ryoko was looking at him with an appraising look, as though she was trying to come to a decision. Finally, she spoke in a businesslike tone.
"I've decided I want your help with one more thing" Ryoko said, and her eyes had fixed on Key with a frightening sort of intensity.
"Um" Key said apprehensively, "what . . . sort of thing?"
In response, Ryoko looked around, as though checking for intruders (other than themselves that is). Seemingly satisfied, she put up a hand and reached underneath her shirt. She began pulling something out, something fastened on a long cord that had plainly been hanging around her neck this whole time. She finally pulled it out and, slowly and with the utmost gentleness, she presented it to Key and Mami.
It was a Grief Seed.
There was a moment's silence, then it hit Mami and Key at the same time.
"Is that your friend?" Key and Mami asked at the same time.
Ryoko nodded, "I never told you how I reacted to my friend becoming a Witch did I?
The two of them shook their head and Ryoko continued.
Soundtrack: Sword Art Online OST – In Your Past
"Well, the night my friend turned into a Witch, I didn't know what to think. I knew what I'd seen, but I was having trouble processing it or even believing it. So I called Kyubey over and grilled him on what had happened."
Ryoko grimaced slightly at the memory.
"He tried his usual schtick to hide the truth but I kept asking him to clarify and answer clearly until he did. I learned the whole truth of the Magical Girl System that night. Kyubey tried to lean on me to make a wish to save my friend and . . ." Ryoko looked to the side, and they could see what looked like a repressed expression of shame and regret.
"Why didn't you?" Key asked curiously.
Ryoko glanced back at him before sighing. "Back when she had first become a Magical Girl, my friend had made me promise never to make a contract. Due to the circumstances of when she made her wish, with Kyubey basically extorting it out of her when she was about to die, we never really trusted him all that much. Though we should've trusted him even less than we already did."
Again, she paused and drew a deep breath before continuing.
"Anyway, I thought hard about it for a few days. Kyubey told me that it was impossible to get her back, or at least he said when I got him to answer in a detailed way 'it's not a part of my mission, and therefore not possible for me to get your friend back. It is up to you whether or not you will sacrifice yourself to save your friend from the suffering she is currently in.'"
Key flinched slightly.
"After a few days, I finally hashed out a plan. My friend and I had a lot of Grief Seeds built up. So, I took my friend and I's stock and beat the bushes, gathering as many mercenaries as possible. I was going to get my friend back, or at least what I could get of her."
"I hid the seeds (after making sure Kyubey wouldn't just steal them) and told the Magical Girls that I wanted to take out the Witch that had taken my friend away from me, and that I wanted to take its Grief Seed. In return, I paid them a Grief Seed each up front with more to come if they helped me."
"Did . . ." Key looked uncomfortable. "Did you tell them how Magical Girls turn into Witches."
It was Ryoko's turn to look uncomfortable for a moment, ". . . no. I should clarify that my friend and I were somewhat of an outlier. She always tried to kill Witches and Familiars regardless of whether or not they would give Grief Seeds and said that we should always try to help people and work together. It . . . didn't make her especially popular with the local Magical Girls who were all a bit more cold-blooded."
Mami looked to the side, grimacing.
"Anyway, I wasn't sure how they would react if I just outright told them. They might've not wanted to help me, or they might've Grief Spiraled. I was . . . I was afraid I think. So anyway, I won't bore you with the details, but we did find my friend's Witch and they beat her and I got her Grief Seed. I did tell the others about how Magical Girls turn into Witches after paying them. I thought that maybe we could work together on trying to find a solution. But they didn't take it well, none of them spiraled but none of them wanted to stick around either. I tried to get them to stay, to tell them that we'd stand a better chance of finding a solution together. But . . . none of them listened. I never saw them again after that."
Ryoko closed her eyes and took another long deep breath. There was silence for a few pregnant moments before she continued.
"Kyubey tried to get me to give him the seed plenty of times. Said no every single time because who knows what he would've done to her. Who knows what he does to any of the seeds he gets."
She glanced at Key, who shook his head, "I just collected the seeds and transported them back to Kyubey's homeworld. I can only theorize that he has some way of extracting the Grief Energy out of them."
"Right, well, I stopped seeing him after I grew up, but I've kept the seed around my neck all those years. Never wanted to give him an opportunity to swipe it. I've studied it as best I could and . . . I suppose a part of me still hoped I could get her back."
She was staring at the Grief Seed with a wistful expression before she shook herself and looked back at Key.
"But, since you claimed that you can return a Magical Girl from a Grief Seed and even turn them back into a normal human, I've been studying you to see if you were honest. As far as I can tell, you have been."
A small smile graced her face, "you are more than just another Kyubey. So, if you would consent, could you please bring my friend back?"
Key's face lit up, "of course! Thank you so much for trusting me with this! I would be happy to help your friend out, when do you want to do it?!"
Ryoko looked around at the room they were in.
"Not here I suppose, but soon. I found a stack of what seem to be Journals over in one of the cupboards, so I think I'm going to have to stay here for a day or two to try and look through them and perhaps figure out what happened here. So I think when I get back, we can meet and do it. Before we deal with the monster."
Key nodded, smiling widely and Mami felt herself smiling as well. Ryoko might've seemed standoffish when they first met her. But underneath that exterior, it seemed that she was much more conscientious than they thought. Mami couldn't help but feel some empathy towards her as the loneliness of being a good person in a trade that encouraged ruthlessness was one she could understand quite well.
"Oh and by the way" Ryoko said. Key and Mami looked at her and to their surprise she was smirking, "about the shotgun."
"Shotgun?" Key was puzzled for a moment, then he remembered how Ryoko had seemingly been able to conjure and get rid of a shotgun from nowhere in their first meeting. She'd never fully explained how she did that had she?
Still smiling smugly, Ryoko reached inside one of her sleeves and began to pull something. She pulled and suddenly, sprouting out of the sleeve that had clearly been too small to contain it, was a military grade shotgun. Mami and Key stared.
"How did you get an enchanted weapon?" Key asked bluntly.
Ryoko's smirk stayed in place, but there was a tinge of sadness to it now.
"I told you my friend was a good Magical Girl. Remember? Well, we had a good bit of free time, and since I'd made her a promise that I wouldn't become a Magical Girl but I really wanted to help, I decided we could try out enchanting stuff. Naturally, I wanted some stuff to defend myself with and we managed to get our hands on some pretty good weapons. This Shotgun has helped me out of a good few jams over the years what with how easy it is to carry, conceal, and use."
"But" Mami said quietly, her tone suggesting that she couldn't quite buy the story, "but such things, weapons, constructs and enchantments, they end with the Magical Girl don't they? For example, if I tied someone up with my ribbons and then I was-" Mami broke off her sentence for a moment and gulped. Then she managed to continue, "-if that happened, then the things I'd made would dissipate, wouldn't they?"
"Yes, they almost certainly would," Key said contemplatively, "especially since your ribbons are a direct magical item that you conjure up. However, I do have a theory on how Ryoko's things have endured."
The two of them looked at Key expectantly and he plowed on, "well, you're friend isn't exactly dead is she? Sure she's a Grief Seed, but she's still around in a way isn't she. Also, you probably enchanted already existing items, correct?"
Ryoko nodded.
"Right, so they won't simply vanish. But the last point is probably once again to do with your friend's wish. Since she wished to protect you and you specifically, it's conceivable that the enchantments that she made for you are a part of this, they're still 'protecting' you, so they endure. I can't say for sure if they would last if her Grief Seed was destroyed, but they seem to be lasting right now."
The older woman hummed slightly, contemplating the idea. After a few moments of thinking, she moved over and started taking binders and notebooks out of one of the room's cupboards.
"I see. Well, if that's all, I think you two can go back to Mitakihara. If I can't get some good info out of one of these in a reasonable time, I'll come back as well and if there's any danger, I'll just send you a message with the telepathy. Is that okay?"
Key nodded, "sure, just be careful. I don't sense anything weird around here right now, but I don't like the feeling of this place."
"Me neither, but when needs must" Ryoko said as she shrugged.
"Just give us a call, with telepathy or a phone if you need help."
Mami nodded in agreement as Key hopped up on her shoulder. After a few more words exchanged between them, she walked out of the entrance with Key on her shoulder. Once out, she held out a hand and a ribbon sprung from it. It wrapped around a nearby tree and, with a sudden tug, she and Key were propelled forward. More ribbons leapt forth as they moved, to grab other trees to continue the momentum. Soon, they were out of sight, heading fast back towards Mitakihara. Ryoko, who had come out to see them off, smirked and headed back inside the house.
Nagisa looked over from the movie she'd been watching to stare at the black-haired girl who was supposedly babysitting her.
Homura had agreed (a bit reluctantly and with some prodding) to look after Nagisa for the time that Mami and Key had been off with Dr Ryoko. Madoka had been quick to volunteer her help and Sayaka had agreed (with a small sigh and a smirk) to pitch in as well. Nagisa, Madoka, and Sayaka had been watching a western cartoon that the younger girl had enjoyed. As she watched the golden cartoon bear up on the screen attempting to get some honey for himself, she smiled as she remembered her mother introducing her to the series and showing it to her many times over the years. But then came a soft stab of pain that always seemed to occur whenever she thought of her mother and how she wasn't in her life anymore.
Was this how it would be for the rest of her life? Would all her fond memories be poisoned with pain by the simple fact that her mother wasn't there to experience them with her anymore? If it was going to be like that, had she really made the right choice to stay, an-
She felt a soft hand touch her back and looked up to see Madoka looking down on her with a concerned look.
"Are you alright Nagisa? You look upset."
Nagisa realized that her eyes were moist and hastily tried to wipe them clean.
"I . . . I'm fine" she said, managing to keep her voice steady.
Madoka shook her head and drew Nagisa into a soft hug. At first, Nagisa wasn't sure what to do, but it felt nice. She snuggled up against Madoka and continued watching. It wasn't so bad after that. Nagisa did however notice Homura casting a sidelong glance at Madoka and herself as she snuggled up against the pink-haired girl.
Sayaka was leaning back against the couch and Nagisa could've sworn she was drifting off to sleep. Oddly enough, her face seem to twist at times, as though she was seeing something that was disturbing, or at least upsetting to her.
Soundtrack: Puella Magi Madoka Magica Ost - Confessio
The dream was once again distorted and strange. She saw herself standing in the dilapidated ruins of what looked like an old church building. The structure had obviously seen quite a bit of fire damage, most of its pews lying in ruin along with its windows. Light streamed in through the giant holes in the wall, but the red-orange light they gave only seemed to paint an image of the ghosts of flames, still hungry and ready to spark again, to pull down the damaged house of faith into utter ruin.
"You know where we are, it's my Dad's old Church" came Kyoko's voice, her tone nonchalant.
Sayaka sat and listened as Kyoko told her story. Told of how her father had ostracized and how she had made her wish for his benefit. After her crashed and burned relationship with Kyousuke, she suddenly found herself in a much more understanding position. She listened as Kyoko told of how her father had turned to drinking and, one night in a drunken haze, had decided to set fire to his family's church. No doubt as a way of atoning and cleansing his daughter the "witch's" influence from the earth. The fire had claimed the lives of Kyoko's family and she had been left adrift.
So she had decided to live for herself and forget the consequences. Sayaka could well understand why she'd done that. She didn't agree with it, but still she understood. She'd had the wrong impression about Kyoko and had apologized for it, but had still told her that she wasn't going to stop trying to help people. Kyoko had called her an idiot, and perhaps she was. But this was all she had left and she was going to cling to it.
As she had turned to leave, she had called over her shoulder.
"If don't like it, you can come find me and try to kill me if you want, I won't hate you for it." she said. She wouldn't. She understood Kyoko far better now, and knew that she was just hurting. She was just trying to make sense of a world that had seemed to so arbitrarily take everything from her on a whim. But still, she couldn't abandon the role that she had stepped into with Mami's death.
"But I won't lose to you either," she finished.
As she walked out of the building, she thought that, yes, now given that she was a monster now too, and because of that she couldn't ever be with Kyosuke, she could definitely empathize with the feeling of losing the important things to you.
Reality seemed to snap forward in a blue flash and suddenly she was on the ground, on her knees. There was a black feeling in the pit of her stomach, in the pit of her Soul. Before her stood the girl who was the embodiment of all that she stood against. Arrogant, amoral, a girl who cared nothing for the world at large. She stood looking up at Homura who had the gall to pretend to care about her, about anyone.
"Why don't I trust you, maybe it's because I can tell what you really are. Maybe I know you're lying. You look like someone whose given up on everything. When you talk, you use empty words, you say you want to help me but I know that's not what you really mean. You're not fooling anyone. Uh uh."
There was another flash of blue and suddenly Homura was close to her, her hand gesturing inches from her face.
"-will kill you. Right here. Right now. Sayaka Miki" and Sayaka could tell she meant it.
There was a sudden sound of footsteps and in an instant a segmented spear connected by chains had wrapped around Homura and pulled her back from Sayaka. The red-haired girl looked annoyed and angry as she held the black-haired girl close to her.
"Hurry! Go on! Get out of here!" she said to Sayaka.
How ironic. When she had first met her, Kyoko had seemed just like Homura, concerned only with herself. But now . . . now she was the only one who could understand. She pulled herself to her feet and began to walk away unsteadily. Her toes dragged with every step as the blackness in her soul pulsed and grew like an infection.
Sayaka gasped loudly as her head jerked forwards, her eyes flying open. Madoka, who had been prodding her insistently, jumped at the sudden reaction. Sayaka took a few deep breaths.
"Were you having a bad dream" Nagisa asked concernedly.
"Ye-yeah, something like that" Sayaka said as she breathed deeply, trying to shake off what felt like the all too real spectre of that ruined Church, the Red-haired girl, and that feeling in the dream that she had become a monster. But still, that red-haired girl . . . Kyoko, had saved her and understood her in the dream. Perhaps she should look into . . .
"I . . . I think that that's enough for me for now." Sayaka said, trying to bring her voice under control. "I have some . . . homework to do at home."
Madoka looked a bit concerned, and opened her mouth as though she wanted to ask what was wrong. But Sayaka had already gathered up her things and was clearly looking to leave as quickly as possible.
"Are you sure you're alright Sayaka," Madoka asked in a soft voice, laying a hand on her best friend's arm.
Sayaka seemed to relax at Madoka's touch and took a deep breath. She smiled gratefully at Madoka, "I . . . yeah. Yeah I'm fine Madoka. It was just another really weird dream. You know, like the one that-" she broke off suddenly and glanced at Homura, whose eyebrows came together. What had she been about to say?
Madoka looked between Homura and Sayaka and sighed slightly, "Sayaka . . . maybe it's time we bring up the dreams with everyone else."
"Dreams?" Homura questioned blankly, Nagisa looked equally mystified. Sayaka however, looked a bit annoyed as she glanced between Homura and Madoka.
"I . . . are you sure that this is the best time. I mean, shouldn't Key and Mami be here too?"
Madoka bit her lip and looked at the ground, thinking for a moment before raising her head.
"I guess. But I think we should talk about it soon. How about tomorrow?"
Sayaka seemed to think about it for a moment before nodding.
"Sure, I guess that could work. I mean, if Mami and Key are back by then, that'll probably be the closest time when we're all together.
Homura was looking between the two of them confusedly along with Nagisa.
"What sort of dreams have you been having?" Homura asked tentatively.
Sayaka looked at Homura with a calculating look in her eye, "we said we'll talk about it tomorrow."
Madoka however, gently rebuked her friend, "Sayaka. It won't do any harm if we just give her a quick overview.
She turned to look at Homura.
"Okay, so something's been bothering Sayaka and me for awhile. The night before we met you Homura, we . . . well . . . we had a dream about you."
Homura blinked slowly. There was a moment of silence before she opened her mouth and spoke slowly.
"I . . see . . . what sort of dream was it?"
Madoka looked down at her shoes, "well, I think we were seeing Walpurgisnacht after she'd destroyed the city. She looked like an upside down jester doll with a clock gear coming out of the bottom of her dress."
Homura froze. If they'd seen that, then surely they'd seen . . .
"And we saw you fighting it Homura" Madoka continued on in the same shy voice.
"You were fighting Walpurgisnacht and you were getting hurt! It was horrible to watch you get hurt like that!"
Sayaka barely repressed a snort and immediately felt sickened with herself for the impulse. Even if she didn't particularly like the transfer student that didn't give her any right to take joy when she suffered.
Homura meanwhile was frozen in place. Her eyes were darting between Sayaka and Madoka as she tried to absorb the information. After a moment's of laser fast thought, she seemed to get ahold of herself and pushed her face back into stoic expression.
"As interesting as that sounds, I suggest that you do not worry about them. They are likely nothing to concern yourselves with."
Sayaka actually did snort at this statement.
"Yeah right! Us seeing you in a dream before we've even met you isn't something that we are gonna forget anytime soon."
"It's nothing you need concern yourself about" Homura repeated stubbornly.
"Right" Sayaka said in a sarcastic voice as she glared at Homura. "Well then, I suppose its none of your concern where I go next eh, transfer student."
"Sayaka!" Madoka sounded scandalized at the deliberately rude tone in Sayaka's voice.
"You're free to go where you wish" Homura said bluntly. "If you choose to ignore my advice, that's your choice. However, given all that you know now, I would think that you would have a bit more faith."
Sayaka's eyes narrows as she seemed to think something over. Then she huffed quietly and turned to leave. Madoka looked at her with concern as she hoisted her own bag over her shoulder. She turned to the other two girls in the room.
"Goodbye Homura, have a good day!" she said with a small smile and a wave at said girl. She walked over and gave Nagisa a short hug. The younger girl saw Homura's expression turn almost . . . well it reminded her of how she felt when she had realized that she couldn't get hugs from her mother anymore. Something seemed to clench in her gut towards the older girl.
Soundtrack: Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince OST - School
After Madoka and Sayaka had gone, Nagisa ambled up to Homura.
"Akemi-San, are you jealous of me?" Nagisa asked.
Homura blinked, her face seeming to twitch in confusion. "Jealous . . . I . . . I don't understand."
"You kept looking at me when Kaname-san was hugging me." Nagisa explained matter-of-factly. "I'm sure if you asked, Kaname-san would be more than happy to give you a hug too."
Homura's face didn't so much twitch as it transformed into a bewildered look as she stared down at Nagisa, who looked back innocently. She seemed to be on the verge of spluttering for a moment before Nagisa moved. The girl walked up close and fastened her arms around Homura's waist. Homura jerked slightly, her eyes going wide and her body going stiff as she stared in confusion down at this little girl who was hugging her tightly.
"Wha- . . . what are you doing?"
"Hugging you silly! Haven't you ever been hugged before?"
Homura flinched as she tried to gently take a step back.
"I- . . . haven't had one in quite awhile" she said, hoping to clue the little girl in that she really wasn't the sort of person who should be getting hugs.
To her slight horror, Nagisa's eyes went wide and she simply clamped harder and more fiercely around Honura's waist.
"Well that's not good! Mommy gave me hugs all the time and it always made me feel better!" she said. After a moment, she added, "almost always" in a slightly more morose voice.
Homura put her hands on Nagisa's shoulders and gently tried to pry her away, but Nagisa clung even tighter.
"Hugs are meant for sharing!"
Homura resisted the urge to roll her eyes, ". . . is that something your mother told you?"
"Nope" Nagisa said, grinning widely, "it's something that I'm telling you!"
She gazed significantly at Homura who didn't quite understand. What was she trying to imply?
Nagisa finally, seeming to think that Homura was being extraordinarily slow, rolled her eyes and explained.
"I said that hugs are meant for sharing. You aren't sharing the hug!"
Homura blinked and Nagisa rolled her eyes again.
"Here, it starts like this" she grabbed Homura's hands and made to put them around her own body.
"You reach around someone's back, and then –"
"I know how a hug works" Homura interrupted, feeling slightly put out.
"Well," Nagisa said, looking expectant, "give me a hug then!"
Homura chuffed slightly. She could just shake the girl off her, but that seemed excessive. Nagisa would probably complain to Mami which would put strain on their alliance. Refusing to do it would probably result in something similar, so really, as uncomfortable as it felt, there was only really one thing to do.
Homura knelt down slightly and, tentatively put her arms around Nagisa's back. Her grip was loose, barely touching the smaller girl and she had intended to just give her a short hug for half a second before letting go. But upon her action, Nagisa leapt up slightly and wrapped her arms around Homura's neck. The black-haired girl found herself pulled to her knees as her arms automatically tightened around Nagisa to steady herself. She could feel Nagisa hugging her tightly and giggling slightly.
"Ha, see? Isn't it nice to share hugs?"
It was . . . Homura did feel extraordinarily uncomfortable at the whole situation. But at the same time, it felt . . . alright. Perhaps it was because she didn't have some sort of built up history with Nagisa like she did with the others, but being hugged by her wasn't as bad as she'd thought it would be. A part of her wanted to relax, to just let go and enjoy the affection of this little girl who'd come out of nowhere into her life and her time loop. But the more practical side of her, the side that reminded her that such sentiments would only weaken her resolve when it came time to do the hard things to save Madoka, stopped that impulse in its tracks. It was tempting, so tempting, but . . . she couldn't. She wasn't weak, she needed to be strong. She needed to be strong enough to save Madoka and being friends with the others wasn't going to save her.
The hug went on for 10 seconds in which Homura had to fight off the urge to sink into it and enjoy the sensation of human contact. Finally, after the time had elapsed, she gently but firmly peeled Nagisa off of herself. The girl smiled up at her.
"See! Wasn't that nice?!"
"It . . . wasn't bad" Homura admitted in a jerky voice. Nagisa giggled and bopped Homura on the nose, which caused her to jerk her head slightly and blink very rapidly.
"Heehee, don't worry Homura! I'll help you to practice hugs to that you can give everyone else the bestest hugs anywhere!"
With that, she turned and walked off, leaving Homura still blinking like a tired Owl.
On their way home, Madoka and Sayaka were having an argument. It had started as Madoka had asked Sayaka why she sometimes acted to hostile towards Homura and had moved on from there.
"Honestly Madoka, look at the facts," Sayaka said heatedly as both girls made their way home. "She's obviously not telling us something! I notice she seems to have a lot of secrets but she doesn't seem to like us having any!"
"I'm sure she has a reason" Madoka defended. "She's probably just been hurt a lot by other people and has trouble trusting! Remember that story she told us about how she's tried to warn people and they never listened to her!"
Sayaka snorted, "tell me honestly Madoka, are you fine with the fact that she obviously doesn't trust us to know the full picture? The fact that she seems to think that she's the only one with a functional brain in our group?"
Madoka tried to say something. She tried to muster a response to say that of course it didn't bother her. But after a moment of opening and shutting her mouth, she had to concede defeat.
"I thought so" Sayaka said grimly.
"Okay," Madoka said in a rallying voice. "It does bother me that she's keeping secrets and not giving reason for doing that. But Sayaka, it doesn't help that you treat her like she's going to stab us in the back the first chance she gets. You're just alienating her!"
Sayaka put a hand over her face and sighed deeply.
". . . Madoka, that dream I just had back at Mami's apartment . . . she tried to kill me in it."
Madoka blinked, looking shocked and confused, "what?! Sayaka she couldn't! I mean, she's our friend isn't she?! How could she ever try and kill you?!"
Sayaka snorted with a dark amusement, "honestly Madoka, I don't really get the feeling that she likes me at all. Heck, there was another girl in my dream, another Magical Girl with red hair and outfit who I'm pretty sure I'd fought at some point and she was a better friend than that transfer student!"
"Sayaka . . ." Madoka said in a confusedly sad voice. Then her face grew determined. She whipped out her phone and began dialing in a number.
"Well, then that's just something we're going to have to fix."
The call went through and Madoka put the phone up to her ear.
"Who are you-?" Sayaka started to ask, but Madoka shushed her.
"Hello? Yes, it's me Madoka. . . No nothing's wrong, I mean per se. I just- . . . well . . . I was thinking that we all haven't hung out very much and that we don't really know some of our friends very well . . . yes, I do mean mostly Homura . . . I just think that, since we're friends that we should try and do something together . . . yeah that's right, I agree, I think it would be nice for all of use to get to know each other better. . . . So would tomorrow after school work? I mean, the weekend's coming up and you might be busy with that monster that your looking into by then. . . . Oh and also, Sayaka and me had something that we wanted to talk to the group about afterwards . . . Okay, I'll take care of Sayaka, you and Key can tell Nagisa and Homura as soon as you get back . . . Okay! Bye!"
She ended the call and looked back at Sayaka with a smile on her face. Sayaka was looking a bit bewildered at how quickly Madoka had just set up some sort of get together for them.
"Was that . . . were you talking to Mami?"
Madoka nodded, "mhmm. So tomorrow after school, all of us are going to go to the Mall and eat together. Then we're going to go shopping and spend some time getting to know each other better!"
Sayaka put her fingers to her forehead, ". . . Madoka . . . look, it's not that I don't appreciate what you're trying to do here, really I do. But do you honestly think that the Transfer Student-"
"Homura. Her name is Homura, Sayaka" Madoka corrected quietly but gently. "We're supposed to be her friends, so we should use her name."
"Fine. Do you honestly think that Homura will go. From what I can tell, she doesn't like distractions and I get the feeling that she thinks that this whole monster hunt is completely pointless. So do you really think that she'll be up for wasting an evening around a Mall?"
Madoka looked a tiny bit crestfallen, but rallied instantly, "I'm sure she'll come. I'll convince her if she doesn't want to! It's important for all of us to spend time together and I think she needs friends. I think she might be lonely!"
Sayaka sighed, "she could just stop being so creepy and then maybe she'd be a bit less lonely."
Madoka just looked at her with an expression like a puppy pleading for a treat and, after a few more moments, Sayaka just sighed again.
"Alright, fine Madoka. I'll go and I'll try and make nice with the Transf- . . . with Homura."
Madoka smiled widely and brightly and grabbed Sayaka in a tight hug.
"Thank you Sayaka, thank you so much!"
Sayaka couldn't help the grin that spread across her own face as she good-naturedly tried to stop Madoka from hugging her. But a moment later, a new thought came into her head.
"Uh, Madoka. Could I ask a favor?"
"Hmm?" Madoka said, her eyes turning curious.
"Well" Sayaka looked away a bit emarrasedly. "That last dream I had. There was a place that I went to in that dream and I want to see if it really exists. Do you think that you could come with me to see it? It won't be a long trip, just an hour or two into Kazamino."
Madoka smiled after a moment and nodded, "of course Sayaka. Why don't you tell me about the dream while we take the train."
There was a silence as their talk of strategy came to its end. Mami blinked as Homura stared at her. Mami and Key had gotten back to the apartment and Homura had asked to stay for a bit so that they could run through their ideas on how to combat Walpurgisnacht. Homura had made a suggestion that, as Nagisa wouldn't be of much use in the talk of strategy, that perhaps Key could watch over her as they watched a cartoon. Mami had gotten the distinct impression that she was just trying to get rid of him for the conversation, but hadn't really known what to do about the feeling. Perhaps she should've been a bit more insistent on Key's inclusion, but she hoped he wouldn't be too offended. Key had acquiesced, though he'd seemed a bit confused and maybe a little hurt and he and Nagisa had gone into the living room and started watching a movie while Homura and Mami had stayed in the Kitchen and run over their plans again.
". . . so . . ." Mami said finally after the silence had moved into uncomfortablness. They were far away enough and the tv was sufficiently loud that she was confident that Key and Nagisa couldn't hear them. She cast around for a subject but the only thing she could think of was Homura's recent brusque manner. "How are you and Key doing?"
Homura looked to the side slightly, "things are fine."
"They most certainly aren't fine," was Mami's thought. "But how do I find out what's wrong?"
She tried to think of something she could converse with Homura about that didn't involve defeated Walpurgisnacht, and was a bit frustrated when she couldn't actually think of anything.
"Do I really know so little about her personally? That's not right, why is that? Have I really been so busy with Nagisa and Key that I've neglected her? That's not good."
"Things seem . . . strained between you two" Mami finally said for lack of anything else to say.
Homura blinked and looked back at Mami, seeming to size her up, as though trying to gauge whether or not she was ready for something. She seemed to make up her mind quite quickly though and didn't say anything more, simply gazing coolly at Mami.
Mami meanwhile doing some thinking herself. After a few moments, deciding that now was as good a time as any to give the invite, she opened her mouth and spoke again.
"Homura, after school tomorrow, I'm thinking of going to the mall and doing some shopping, as well as eating an early supper. I would be delighted if you could join me."
Homura stared, "we have more important things to be doing than shopping" her tone was mildly reproachful. There also seemed to be a bit of a suggestion of "why are you offering me this? What's the catch?"
Mami wasn't to be shaken off so easily however, "people who know each other well will often fight more naturally together. Aside from that, it's good to have some time off, if only for a few hours. Sayaka, Key, and Nagisa will join us, as well as of course Madoka."
Mami was genuine in what she said, but she also was on the lookout for something. Homura's face, which was blank for the most part, seemed to relax slightly as Mami mentioned that Madoka would be along for the trip. It was so subtle that if she hadn't been looking for it, Mami was certain she wouldn't have seen it, it was hard to be sure she'd seen it even now.
"She knows Madoka" Mami thought, "she knows her somehow. Or at least, knows something about her. She cares more about that girl than seems logical, considering they only met a little bit ago. Why is that? I need to figure this out."
Homura seemed to be contemplating the invitation. After a bit, she sighed ever so slightly and then responded.
"Very well, I will attend."
Mami clapped her hands, smiling as she strode over to Homura. She placed a hand companionably on the younger girl's shoulder. Homura looked for a moment at the hand as though its presence on her shoulder was a bit of a conundrum, then looked up at Mami herself.
"Cheer up Homura. I think I can find you some very cute clothes to wear that will have the boys falling all over you."
Homura looked as though she didn't really know what to say. Mami continued to smile, though inside her mind was churning. She did like Homura, the girl had been instrumental along with Key to break some unfortunate truths to Mami. She'd also been quite willing to help with planning for Walpurgisnacht and was surprisingly intelligent and informed about the giant Witch (though it was a bit suspicious just how well informed she was). But Mami had to acknowledge that she didn't really know Homura all that well. Perhaps if she'd been the one to train the girl, then she'd have more of a bond with her, but as far as Mami knew, they'd never met before. Unless.
Well, the point stood that Mami really felt like her relationship with Homura could use an upgrade, hopefully becoming friends and not just associates. It was true that Mami would like to know more and might fish for a bit of information, but ultimately all she ever wanted was for people to get along with each other and be safe. As Homura was now a part of their group, Mami felt a certain affinity with the girl as well as protectiveness. It was easy to see just how withdrawn Homura was, and Mami worried that this was due to some past bad experiences. Mami didn't like seeing people in pain, and the simplest way to try and help Homura at the moment seemed to be trying to integrate her more fully into the group.
So, they were going to shop the next day. Besides, Homura really needed to find a casual outfit that took advantage of her hair. That stuff was glorious.
Homura strode away from the apartment with Key in tow, heading back in the direction of her own apartment. As they walked, Key glanced up at her periodically, as though he hoped that she would talk to him. No such action was forthcoming however, as Homura appeared to be deep in thought. She wasn't even looking at him, staring off into the city as he walked beside her.
"So . . . how were things with Nagisa?" he finally asked to break the silence.
"They were adequate" Homura said in a clipped voice. She didn't speak further, much to Key's disappointment.
"Um" Key tried to come up with something to say. "So, you had a good time?"
Homura seemed to ignore the question, continuing to think in silence. After a few moments, she turned to Key and addressed him in a businesslike tone.
"I have an errand to run. Meet me back at the apartment. No it's not something I need help with" she fired off in quick succession.
"Wait, but I-"Key started to speak in confusion. But before he could finish the sentence, Homura had grabbed her Buckler and had vanished into thin air.
Key stared at the spot where she'd vanished, and slowly felt his head begin to droop. The cool breeze blew against him as he slowly turned and began to plod towards Homura's apartment. Few to now people were out at this hour, and, aside from normal city sounds, Key's only company seemed to be the wind whistling through deserted alleyways.
Well, it was apparent that Homura didn't really want him around, did she. He reflected that it was understandable, she was a Magical Girl and he was an Incubator. But even so, no matter how much he told himself that he needed to understand, to not be hurt by her attitude (recent and otherwise) towards him, something painful pulsed in the pit of his gut. Marethil had said that Homura needed help. But honestly, he wondered if he'd already done all he could. He'd gotten her integrated into a group of other people, humans. He'd also made them aware of the dangers of Magical Girl life and they'd all hashed out some good strategies for defeating Walpurgisnacht together. Honestly, he was having trouble seeing what more he could add to her life. Maybe it would be better if he just . . . But no, Walpurgisnacht was still coming and the three of them would need all the help they could get. Though, maybe they should think about trying to do a bit of an outreach to other Magical Girls. Mami was kind of well known after all for her skill, so maybe she could provide some contacts.
Still, once Walpurgisnacht was taken care of. Maybe he should push harder for the girls to give up being Magical Girls. He'd made a promise to Mami, and he held that promise for all of them. But he was getting ahead of himself really. First they needed to deal with Walpurgisnacht and probably Saya. Time would probably fly by. After all it was only a few weeks until Walpurgisnacht's arrival.
Even so . . . couldn't Homura . . .
He sighed. Did it matter in the end if she didn't want to be his friend? In spite of whatever high hopes he'd had that they'd grow closer, she seemed determined to keep him at arms length and never open up. He shouldn't hold it against her, he really shouldn't.
.
.
.
. . . So why did it hurt so much?
Key sighed and continued to plod back to Homura's apartment, his head tentacles dragging on the ground and his gaze cast downwards. He wished she would let him ride on her shoulders again.
Homura had made sure that Key actually was heading back to her apartment before she had made a call. While she had been taking Oriko to where Kirika's body was, she had given her some instructions on her tracking device. Homura had now drawn out a small device of her own and had pressed one of the buttons on it. That button would send out a signal to Oriko's device, which would then vibrate quietly, signaling to the girl that Homura had instructions for her.
After a moment, Oriko's voice came out over a speaking.
"Yes Akemi-San? You have instructions."
"Meet me in the park" Homura instructed. "My group is meeting tomorrow and I see an opportunity for an introduction of at least one of your members."
"I see" Oriko said simply. "Am I to assume that member will be Kyoko Sakura, seeing as she has a prior connection to Tomoe-San and thus would be most likely open for an Alliance?"
Homura resisted clenching her teeth. She really hated how quick Oriko was on the uptake. Just one of the things that made her so dangerous to handle.
"I will give you your instructions in the park. For now, just get there." She instructed coldly.
". . . As you wish Akemi-San."
Homura severed the connection and sighed quietly. Then she turned and leapt away, heading in the direction of the park.
Author's Note:
For those of you who kinda want me to get on with the Saya plot. I'll give you some comfort to know this. I hope to have us heading into the climax of this story arc within two to three chapters. Of course, that might change given my propensity for ballooning chapter lengths, but rest assured, we're close.
Hope you all enjoyed the chapter!
Now, for a bit of an experiment. I shall answer reviews up to a point. Thank you those that did for reviewing.
Review Mailbag:
Ghost Man:
Write however you want...I'm okay with the length.
Intersting. So she's concerned on the nicer one?
An interesting move...risky but interesting.
Yeah...Oriko's devotion scares me.
Wait...why would the city be destroyed? Hmm...
Credit where do, Homura was really scary and badass.
Thank you, I usually try to make chapter cuts based on where I think it works best. Problem is, I have so much ground to cover that it always feels overly long.
Not sure what you mean by this line. Lol
Risky perhaps, but Oriko is usually very self-assured. At least at first.
I assume you mean Kirika's? Or well, I suppose Oriko's single-minded determination could be scary too. But yeah, Kirika is a bit of a violent yandere and part of this story, or at least my intention, is to look at that a bit and maybe that even Oriko might be a bit uncomfortable with Kirika's actions, if only because she cares for Kirika as well.
It's a mystery, isn't it!
Indeed, Homura can be those things when she feels she needs to be.
Magical SCIENCE 4tW!
Awww. Nagisa...best mascot.
Oh great...Lovecraft stuff P
Yeah let's not talk about the Angels xD
Well if Angels are bad...what about Devils...or Saya. Hmm...
FOR SCIENCE!
Lol, I wonder if I'll ever make a joke about how if they sold plushies that Nagisa would be the bestseller of the group for how cute she is.
Let the Lovecraft flow through you!
Yeah, being called an Angel is a bit of a sore spot, if only because Key doesn't think highly of himself pre-coming to life.
Well, never said that Angels were bad, more that a creature pretending to be an Angel was bad. As for Devils and Saya, well, that's yet to be seen.
Oh, and I finally answered where the shotgun came from. Or at least, how she was able to carry it around with her in her sleeve (it's MAGIC, or at least, enchanted to shrink or be easily carryable.)
BLINIX:
Maybe I missed something, but these tears in reality are interesting, maybe Homuras power is finally destroying the reality, like in stellaris: there when you do tons of "jumps" there's a chance you tear apart reality and extradimensional beings arrive, something similar happening? wonder how the saya plot will end.
Definitely a good guess. We're approaching the "climax" per se, of that part of the story, so you'll know soon enough.
loligang:
u should give key a human form
would be cool if key turned human
Unlikely, but who knows, maybe Key will take a new form sometime in the story. Who knows, maybe he will get the ability to become human. After all, wishes can accomplish impossible things.
Thanks for your reviews! It is funny that I as I was putting the last editing and publishing stuff together for the last two chapters then you reviewed. Sneaking in just before the publish, lol.
QuantumPE:
Honestly I prefer longer chapters over shorter chapters, however this chapter is still a good length for what it was trying to accomplish, which is set up for the next plot point.
Thank you for the response. I hope I'm not dragging things out too far. But hey, at least we get two chapters for the price of one here.
ZirioAkatsuki:
I love how this story is going so far and want to read more!
Well, I hope this satisfied!
Yay an update! Thanks!
You're welcome!
Whiliam:
Apesar de ser mi primera vez leyendo una historia como la tuya realmente estoy enganchado. Tu historia sinceramente me ha inspirado, y creo pertinente pedir tu permiso para manejar conceptos dé la misma.
Claro que eso no significa que me robarle su crédito o simplemente copiar y pegar su historia no , soy consciente que si me diera el permiso minimo deberia hacer mi propia forma de narrar , mi version de una historia de PMMM.
Ppr ultimo desearia comentarle realmente soy un novato eh intento aprender lo que pueda para mejorar pero mi primera declaración es de la mas sincera , si no le convenciera pido a usted por favor aclararlo de esa manera dejare de leer por respeto.
Pdt saludos desde Perú, y le deseo exito eh inspiracion .
I already answered you over pm. Sorry if it was kind of incoherent, I only know English and had to use Google Translate. I think I got it alright but am sorry if I didn't.
Guest:
Oh wow, let me just say, this story is interesting.
Oriko, listen to your past self- (Unless Key is actually a threat, then maybe don't)
How did Homura get Kirika's soul gem? Wouldn't that make Kirika unconscious after 100 meters or so?
Now I want to know what Hameru-chan did to make everyone shocked, what unbelievable thing is she going to do?
Hopefully, in the future, Oriko can trust Key and team up together to defeat Walpurgisnacht and that white rat bi- I mean Kyubey, despite the rocky start.
And of course, the ancient quote, "Being Meguca is suffering."
Thank you!
Yeah, hopefully she will listen (and hopefully Key isn't a threat).
She probably knocked her out with another taser.
We're getting there.
Hopefully so!
And hopefully, things will become a bit less . . . suffery.
James Birdsong:
Nice short chapters are better.
Thank you for your response. Hope that these chapters weren't too long.
QuantumPE:
I personally rather enjoy longer chapters but I'm torn because I also like your writing and shorter chapters would potentially mean more frequent updates. I don't really like super short chapters though.
Sorry these took so long to come out. Hopefully these strike a good balance between shortness and longness (is that even a word?) Also, thanks for saying that you like my writing!
Guest:
I read the stiry so far and this is really good!
I love the way you write and describe thing and caracthers,so please continue (but do take your time)
Thanks!
I really appreciate the compliments. I hope you enjoy what I've written here!
DarkIronwing:
Replied to you over PM. Thank you for your review and you're criticisms. I do legitimately think that you've got some good points. Thanks again for taking the time to leave such a detailed comment. I hope that if you've read any farther that you enjoyed the rest of the story. If not, that's okay.
And I think that's as far As I'm going to go in answering reviews. Sorry if I didn't get to yours. I'll try to do a mailbag for this site consistently.
