Soundtrack: Slender the Arrival OST - Distance

Crossing the threshold of the mine felt almost akin to leaving the world entire behind. As though death had settled on them and they were entering a massive tomb. All that remained was to find their coffins.

A beam of light illuminated the corridor in front of them.

"Everyone have a flashlight?" Ryoko's voice was a bit strained.

In response, three more cones of light appeared. They had found a supply in the shack outside the mine and had decided to stock up while they were there. It had been a wise move as the mine was pitch black at the moment. The corridor illuminated in front of them was concrete, with pipes running alongside the wall. The moved forward, through several other rooms, some larger, some smaller. There were metal shipping containers and supplies stacked . All in all, it definitely gave the impression that the company had moved out in a hurry.

Soon enough, they came to a door that lead to a divide where the path snaked off in opposite directions. The most interesting and disturbing thing however, was the fact that adorned on the wall in front of them was a variety of arrows, painted in white and none too neatly, pointing one way.

The four of them glanced at each other. It felt disturbingly familiar to the game they had just left in the forest.

"I hate to say it, but the arrows do point in the direction of the elevator," Fuminori noted.

Another glance between them and it seemed that an agreement was reached. Following the arrows, they moved down the new corridor. It went on for a bit, but soon enough it opened up into a large room, one that seemed to almost be some sort of hub.

"There it is" Ryoko noted, pointed towards a section of of the area that held a flat platform with a control panel attached. It did not take long for them to walk over and begin examining it. It appeared simple enough to operate, but it was not powered on at the moment.

"Well this is a problem" Ryoko said as she pursed her lips.

They all looked around. Then Fumori called their attention. He was pointed to a notice set right beside the elevator.

"This might be useful. 'In the event of a loss of power, all staff should use the emergency elevators to escape. These can be powered via the emergency generators located on each level. A minimum of 6 must be active in order to power the elevators."

Below the notice was what was apparently a map of the current level with the generators marked out. It also had the section that was marked as restricted on it.

"So, we have to go to each of these and turn them on," Sayaka asked questioningly.

Ryoko nodded, but Lauren looked worried.

"How do we even know that they'll have fuel?"

Fuminori was glancing alternately at the map and then around them. He gave a small noise of triumph as he walked to the side of the elevator and pointed.

"Well, there's one of them. Perhaps we should just try it?"

He waited a few seconds, but there was no objection, so he walked over and started it up. The engine roared to life, giving a clanking and clanging noise that echoed throughout the mine. All of them jumped at the loud noise after so long of near silence. A second later, the lights suddenly flickered on and they all blinked as their eyes smarted.

Turning around, they saw that a light, one of six, on the elevator had lit up green. All of them felt relieved for a moment, but then, as they all glanced down the dark corridors leading out of the room, each in turn groaned.


Soundtrack: Slender the Arrival OST - Suspended

They found the next generator relatively quickly. Squirreled away in a room, it lit up green as well, though its addition to the clanking and clanging noises filling the the air were not as welcome. Still, more lights came on in the local area so that was a bonus. Even so, their footsteps echoed unsettlingly as they walked. It almost felt like they were broadcasting their location to any and all people who might be listening where they were. And given the type of creature they had left behind in the woods, it wasn't something they were glad to be doing.

It was on the third generator that something happened. Ryoko had just started it up when Sayaka heard a soft pitter-patter. She turned around to look up the corridor they'd just come through, but saw nothing. Frowning, she listened as they began walking towards the next stop. Soon enough after they'd begun, she was sure she had started to hear another pair of feet scuffling along. It started up a bit after they did and when they had stopped to try and figure out directions, it continued on for a bit before stopping itself.

"Uh . . . guys. I think I hear something," Sayaka said quietly. She, in as low a tone as possible, pointed out her observations. Lauren blanched and Ryoko and Fuminori just looked grim.

"Nothing we can do but try and activate all the generators as quickly as possible" Ryoko said seriously as she made sure her shotgun was fully loaded.

"Perhaps we should look around for wrenches and other potential weapons as we go?" Fuminori suggested.

The fourth generator was found soon after. But as they attempted to move on from that, something caught their attention. They had come up against a large vault door with a turnable wheel on the front. Layered over the top was a sign that noted that the area was off limits to all unauthorized personnel. However, the door was ajar and the strangest thing was, they could see a glow shining through it.

"This . . . this is that section on the map that wasn't labeled," Sayaka said as she stared.

All of them glanced at each other, none of them being able to deny the shared curiosity that had sprung up between them. On the one hand, such a distraction wasn't likely a smart thing, given the situation they were in. On, the other, such a mysterious section of the mine, coupled with everything that had happened to them recently, made them intensely curious for what could be behind the door.

Finally, as though unable to help herself, Sayaka moved up to the entrance and gave a small push. The door swung open and they shone their lights through. The passage beyond did not look markedly different from the others before. As they explored cautiously along it, they began to feel a strange tension in the air. Almost as though there was crackling electricity in the molecules they breathed in.

Suddenly, they noticed that the cavern had transitioned to what looked like worked rock rather than concrete. While the walls were flat, it seemed more like it had been carved out of the surrounding stone than drilled through and reinforced with man-made supports.

"There's pictures!" Lauren suddenly cried, pointing at one of the walls.

Indeed there were. Located along the walls, covering nearly every square inch of it were carvings. All of them were very lifelike, and seemed to be trying to convey some kind of meaning, though on a quick glance, none of them could figure it out. Oddly enough, as Ryoko took them in, she realized that there was no sickening feeling as she looked at them. It was nothing like with the pictograms and symbols that Dr. Ogai had been forced to scrawl in his madness. A madness that she now realized was more than likely to do with the slender creature picking him out as its next plaything.

As they were walking, they turned a corner and stopped short, gazing at a sight none of them had ever seen before.

The tunnel opened up into a large cavern, the pictographs they had noticed continued on the surfaces here. But that was not what had gained their attentions.

At the center of the room lay some sort of rounded alter. It was glowing with a blue light framed against several circular backpieces. It had an inner section where the main blue glow was coming from that almost made it look like a well. Glowing lines ran across it and gave it an ethereal look. However, the picturesque scene was marred by what looked like a tear. Hanging over the portal was what seemed like a rip in reality. Literally, it seemed as through someone had taken a piece of cloth and pulled it until a rip had occurred. Through the rip, they could see only swirling colors. Something about it made their stomachs churn.

"Didn't . . . didn't Marethil mention that Saya might've come out of a portal?"

It was Fuminori who had spoken. He was staring at the portal in wonder.

"He did," Ryoko nodded. "He also mentioned that the universe that Saya came out of was a rather horrific place. Not somewhere we should stick around."

"But . . ." Fuminori reached out a hand with a longing expression, "what if she's gone back through?"

Ryoko and Sayaka exchanged looks. Lauren simply looked rather confused. Gently, Ryoko reached out a hand and pulled Fuminori's back.

"Sakiska-san, based on all we've heard, if Saya really was as you believe she is, do you think she would willingly go back?"

Fuminori seemed to think for a moment before he looked down and shook his head. Then, all them heard a squelching noise.

All four jumped and looked around, shining their flashlights this way and that. Nothing new presented itself to their eyes, but they all got the distinct impression that they were being watched.

"We've been delayed for too long" Ryoko said in a clipped voice. "We still need to activate the other Generators and try to link up with the others. We should get back to doing that. Once we find them we can discuss what to do about this portal."

All four of them quickly turned around and walked back towards the entrance of the strange wing of the Mine. All of them kept their eyes peeled for any sign of a strange creature, but there was nothing to be seen. However, as they returned to the main section of the mine, Sayaka heard the pitter patter of feet once again start up as they walked. She whipped her flashlight down a side corridor and felt like she just barely saw something disappearing around the corner.

Soundtrack: Slender the Arrival OST – Conceal (Put on Loop)

"I heard it too" Ryoko muttered. She checked her gun in a nervous fashion as they walked on. Fuminori had picked up a large wrench and Lauren and Sayaka were looking around for makeshift weapons of their own.

They turned another corner and found another generator nestled in a side room. The clattering and clanging as it awoke sent fresh waves of nervousness through them. Then, before anything else could happen, they heard a scream.

Whipping around, they saw Lauren's kicking feet as she was dragged from the room. Apparently she'd been standing closer to the door as they turned the generator on. Without a backwards glance, the other three barreled out of the room and were met with a strange sight.

The figure dragging Lauren was far more human looking than the slender monster that had stalked them in the woods. In fact, it could pass for human easily, if a rather grubby and ill-kept one. It was dressed in pants and a very baggy white sweatshirt with a hood pulled up. Covering its face was an equally white mask that prevented its features from being seen. Its behavior and posture however was far from human. It was hunched over like an animal and the noises it made sounded more like a dog that had been left in a kennel for a week and is a frothing mess by the time someone finds it.

Currently, it had Lauren by the shirt and was dragging her across the floor. None too gently, in fact it seemed to be deliberately trying to injure her. When it saw the others, it let out a screech and charged. Ryoko tried to bring up her gun but a swipe of the creature's hand knocked it to the ground. A second later, it had leapt onto the Doctor and was beating down on her with its fists, seeming to froth and growl as it did so. Ryoko held up her arms to defend her face from her attacker. Even so she felt like she was trying to push an insane monkey off her chest.

Then, out of nowhere, a wrench came flying in and slammed into the creature's head. It toppled over, but it did not go down. Instead, it went low on all fours and bounded away, rather awkwardly on its hands and legs. It was gone around a corner in seconds.

After a moment's silence, Lauren groaned and Ryoko winced. Sayaka moved to help the younger girl and Fuminori took his former Psychologist's arm to pull her up.

"Th . . . th-thank you Sakiska-san. I admit, I never expected it to be you who saved my life."

Fuminori smirked grimly, "the thought is entirely mutual."

Sayaka was helping Lauren to her feet as well.

"Did it hurt you bad?"

The girl shivered, but seemed to rally.

"N-no, I th-think I just got s-scraped a b-bit. Nothing c-compared to the Do-Doctor."

"We can't linger" Ryoko's voice was a bit strainedas she picked up her shotgun, but it still carried authority. "I very much doubt that thing's gone forever, so we'd best get out of here as soon as possible."

The rest of them nodded, and set off in a rush. They'd hurried down a few corridors when they once more heard the pitter-patter of feet behind them. Turning, they saw the chasing creature's masked face peeking out from around a corner, before it withdrew at the shine of their flashlights.

This only served to make them try and move faster, and soon they saw the form of the last generator they needed, stashed behind some pallets of concrete mix and chain-link fence.

As Ryoko moved to turn on the generator, the others turned to keep watch. But almost before they had done so, they saw the Chaser running flat out down the corridor after them. So fast did it move that before they managed a cry, it had leapt a good 20 feet and tackled Fuminori to the ground. Slathering and slobbering, it raised its arms and brought them down. The man managed to catch one of them and divert it to the ground. But the other one caught him in the ribs and the two girls heard him cry out in pain.

By that point, Lauren had caught up a wooden plank and swung it at the creature. It collided with it and seemed to stun it for a second. But then it turned and, fast as lightning, grabbed her by the throat. It stood up and pushed Lauren until her back collided with a wall. The Chaser tightened its hold as it stared into Lauren's eyes. It got in close and Lauren, short on breath, finally got a good look at what peered out from underneath the eyeholes of her adversary's mask.

Lauren gulped (she would've gasped if she hadn't been being choked) and her own eyes widened. She fought to break the grip of the Chaser, but the creature continued to shake her. Then it threw her away and turned to attack her next victim. It had just enough time to blink as a bag of concrete mix, swung by Sayaka impacted its face. It stumbled away, tripping over and falling on its back. Sayaka, grimacing at the weight of the bag, tossed it onto the chest of the creature. Her hope that that would completely incapacitate the new monster proved short-lived as it seized the bag and, not without some difficult, shoved it off of its chest.

It snarled again, but suddenly a blast of noise caused several pieces of wood off of a nearby pallet to fly into the air. Ryoko had returned, the Generator blazing to life behind her, and she looked angry. She took aim with her shotgun once more and the Chaser leapt away, scurrying around another corner.

Fuminori stumbled to his feet along with Lauren who was coughing. The man was favoring one side over the other. It couldn't be told yet if several of his ribs were broken, or merely bruised. Lauren also was clutching her throat with wide eyes.

"Elevator should be working" Ryoko said in a straightforward and strained tone. "We-"

She paused, then took a potshot at the corner the Chaser had been poking its head around. The creature backed away and did not return.

"We need to get going and get to the Radio Tower."

Sayaka moved to Fuminori's side to support him and, after a moment, Lauren moved to the other side. The man gratefully accepted their support, though he still winced as they started to move.

The walk back was slower than the one before. The sounds of the generators added an odd cacophony that played on their nerves. All of their eyes and ears were alert to any far off sound of footsteps. Then, as they turned another corner, they caught sight of something new.

Lauren gave a small scream and Sayaka gave a softer gasp. Ryoko and Fuminori did not scream, though both their eyes widened. The creature was only seen for an instant at the end of a long corridor, but it looked distinctly unnerving and it moved in a manner that seemed unnatural. But before they could get any sort of glimpse of it, it was gone.

Not wanting to waste any time, they kept moving, passing the place where the new creature had been. It was nowhere to be seen, the only evidence of it having been there being a strange slimy residue. Ryoko narrowed her eyes at this, but stayed silent, as well as patting some things below her coat that she'd brought for emergency.

End Music

Soundtrack: Slender the Arrival OST – Flicker

Finally, they arrived back at the elevator and all four gratefully piled onto it. Fuminori leaned over the control panel as Ryoko and the others kept watch. A second later, the elevator hummed beneath them and they felt it begin to inch upwards. Then a sudden outbreak of yowls and snarling greeted them as the Chaser rushed around a corner and leapt onto the ascending platform with them. This time however, its attack was expected and a crowbar, thrown by Sayaka, immediately sent it stumbling to the side.

This allowed Ryoko a perfect line of sight with her shotgun and she took aim. However, right before she took the shot, Lauren screamed and leaped between the two of them.

"NO, DON'T KILL HER!"

Ryoko, obviously being unwilling to shoot Lauren, attempted to moved to the side, but by that point, the Chaser had recovered and had grabbed Lauren from behind. The two struggled for a moment, but the Chaser was far more powerful and soon they both overbalanced and fell over the side of the elevator.

The best thing that could be said for this was that the Chaser hit the ground first and, in so doing, blunted the fall for Lauren. The worst that could be said for this was that Lauren was now on the ground alone with a seriously strong and vicious creature. She managed to get up and start running, Fuminori had stopped the elevator and was looking to bring it back down. The Chaser had gotten to its feet and was starting to bound after Lauren, only prevented from catching her due to the shotgun blasts that Ryoko was raining down around it.

Then, as the Elevator once more got down to ground level, the Chaser turned and charged the group of three on it once more. Ryoko attempted to fire, but the Chaser dodged from side to side. Then it leaped and Fuminori held up his hands as it sailed towards him, hoping to at least be able to hold it off him.

But while it was in midair, out of one of the passageways behind it, a tentacle suddenly shot. It wrapped around the Chaser and gave a tug, pulling it rather forcefully away from Fuminori. All of their eyes followed the tentacle. It looked disgusting and wrong, but it wasn't black like those the slender monster had.

Then they beheld the creature that the tentacle was attached to and Lauren well and truly did scream long and shrilly. Sayaka threw her hands to her mouth, fighting the urge to vomit. Ryoko' narrowed her eyes as sweat beaded on her forehead. Fuminori's mouth fell open.

The shape, color, and smell of rotting meat, with various sharp-toothed orifices and tentacles writhing, Saya pulled the Chaser towards herself. The Chaser, for its part, snarled and pulled against her as soon as it hit the ground. It clawed at the tentacle and then grabbed a wooden pallet and slammed it down on it. Saya gave a noise that rattled all their ears and sounded absolutely horrific. But then she extended two tentacles. The Chaser dodged, but then realized that the tentacles were not aimed at it. One of them came for Lauren, who screamed and tried to run. The tentacle in question however, wrapped around her leg and dragged her. Not towards Saya, but instead it flung her onto the elevator. The other tentacle extended towards Fuminori. For a moment, it hesitated, almost shyly. Fuminori reached out a hand, as though to touch it. Then it punched a button on the elevator control panel and withdrew.

The elevator spun to life again, beginning to lift. The Chaser snarled and tried to leap onto it again, but Saya's renewing her attack forced it to turn its attention away. Sayaka tore her eyes from the two creatures to see that Fuminori was trying to fiddle with the lift controls again. Without thinking, on a panicked impulse, she rushed him and grabbed his hands. He struggled, and for a moment she feared that, grown man as he was, he would overpower her. But then, on an idea, she drove one of her fists against his ribs and the man collapsed in pain

A second later, the elevator moved up into a shaft that cut off their view of the battle below, though the screeches and shrieks of the two creatures still rattled their teeth for awhile before fading off into the distance.

End Music

After roughly a minute of upwards motion, the elevator finally began to slow before coming to a stop in another corridor. No one moved, all of them simply breathing heavily and trying to take what they had just witnessed in.

It was Sayaka who finally broke the silence.

"Was . . . w-was . . . was th-that Say-Saya?"

Ryoko nodded. Fuminori gave a slight moan.

"She s-saved us! W-we should g-go back and h-help her!"

"She saved y-you," Ryoko pointed out, clearly trying to keep her voice level and even. "Don't forget Fuminori, sh-she didn't do anything until that thing was j-jumping at you."

"B-but, she s-saved L-Lauren t-too" Sayaka pointed out, thinking with reluctance back on the events that had just transpired.

They all were silent for a moment, but then Ryoko suddenly turned towards Lauren with a rather frigid expression.

"What the **** was w-with you shielding the monster?"

Lauren was curled up in a fetal position, quietly sobbing. She only slowly noticed the other three staring at her and, after a few more seconds of tears, spoke.

"Th-that . . . w-was K-Kate" Lauren said simply. Everyone was quiet for a long moment.

"How do you know?" Ryoko asked, her voice quieter than before.

"I . . . when it p-pinned me t-to the w-wall, I g-got a g-good look undern-neath its m-mask. I-it was K-Kate."

The other three exchanged looks, then without consulting each other, both Fuminori and Ryoko moved to the teenage girl. Both patted her shoulders, Fuminori wincing as his ribs smarted. Sayaka, feeling a bit awkward, took a look at the control panel. To her displeasure, she found that Saya's last push of the "ascend" button had been so forceful that it had literally bent the panel inwards. It was utterly wrecked.

After reporting this fact to the others, they all exchanged a rather grim look. Then, knowing what they had to do, they got to their (rather unsteady) feet, and began to plod down the corridor.

The passage soon let out into open air and, thankfully, they soon saw the radio tower nearby through the trees. It was up high though, seeming to be on top of the hill/small mountain that hung over the Mine. Their fears of further attack as they made their way towards it proved unfounded. They did end up having to go through several more short mining tunnels as well as finding some notes. They also found two recordings, but did not play them at the moment, seeing as they were potentially being chased by two to three monsters.

Soundtrack: Slender the Arrival OST – Within Sight

Soon enough, they had finally crested the top of the hill. The radio tower was large and imposing, but nestled in front of it was a decently sized building It was a made of brick, with an unlocked front door that they quickly went in by. The immediate room was stacked with supplies, but the room off to the right turned out to be a control room.

Any other fears of not being able to engage the emergency lights were proven fruitless, as the controls were laid out very straightforwardly, including one literally labeled "Emergency Lights." One push of a button later, and they could see through a window that the building was both flashing with red hazard lights and that floodlights were lighting up the surrounding air and forest.

Thinking to maybe make sure no other monster was hiding in the building, they went to look into the room that was to the left coming in from the main entrance. It was nothing more than a storage closet, but it was a terrible shock to find what looked like a burnt corpse lying against a wall. The only clue to its identity was a camcorder laying beside it. After a moment's hesitation, Lauren couldn't help herself and rewound the footage slightly.

The picture was nothing special, it appeared that the camera had been put on the floor for the final minutes of film, but the thing that grabbed them immediately was the sobbing that Lauren instinctively recognized as her friend Kate's.

"Kate, please. We have to do it" a calm voice said.

"That's C.R." Lauren said, recognizing the voice as well.

"I can't!" Kate screamed.

"There's no other way! He's in our heads, this is the only way to end it!"

"I CAN'T!"

There followed the sound and sight of running feet as Kate's sobbing grew fainter and fainter. They heard C.R. shifting and pouring some sort of liquid on something. Then they heard him begin to sob.

"I'm sorry! If anyone ever finds this, I am so sorry! God forgive us! I'm sorry!"

Then their heard the unmistakable sound of a match being lit and then the sound of flame catching. The last sound they heard before the recording ended was C.R.'s agonized scream.

None of them said anything. None of them knew what to say. Lauren was staring at the burnt corpse, her eyes blank. Then she felt a hand on her shoulder. Ryoko gently tugged the girl away, leading her back into the other room.

Sayaka didn't know what to feel, aside from revulsion, as she stared at the corpse. Being a Magical Girl was one thing. For that, at least, you got a wish. All that had happened here, this was . . . it was . . . she supposed she could see what Marethil had meant when he had said that Kyubey was a comparatively better creature than the one that had been behind all this.

"At least he's free," Fuminori's statement made her look at him. He was staring at the corpse with a forlorn and almost . . . longing expression.

"And you know what, a part of me really envies that he had the guts to do it in the end. It's more than I could muster after the accident."

With that, Fuminori turned and walked out of the room. Sayaka stared at the corpse, unable to decide how she felt about that. Then she turned and walked out as well, not wanting to be in the same room as the body of one of the Slender Man's victims.


Author's notes: Do keep in mind that this is not a stamp of approval for suicide in any way shape or form. I feel like that should be obvious enough, but with how people act on the internet one can't be too careful.

While the game is rather ambiguous, I personally got the impression that C.R. Killing himself was because he knew, or at least believed, that the Slenderman could take over their minds and bodies and so the only out was to kill themselves. In essence, they were so far out of their league that it was the best he could do to deny the Slenderman any more victims to propogate himself. It may be a poor take, but I think it fits well enough within his possible motivations. The game is rather ambiguous after all. At least he wasn't corrupted to become a proxy.

Going on a vacation allowed me time to type most of this out. A bit better release time than the last chapter. Originally, this chapter was going to concern Oriko and her group, but I realized that this chapter might be important to some of the next few ones. Plus, more mysteries! You all love those, don't you!? Oriko's group will probably be the focal points of next chapter, though I make no promises.

And Saya makes her triumphant return into the story! Although there is still a lot of her that is in mystery. And yes, that was the portal that she came in through, as well as likely ol Slendy himself.

Actually had a good bit of fun trying to capture the frenetic energy of the Mine Chase while adding in a bit more of an action bent. Hope I did a good job!

Mailbag:

SolarxBlack

Welcome back! Glad to see a new chapter!

Thanks! Hope you enjoy this one!

Mattman the Storyteller

I'm honored to hear of your shout-out Jalaras, as well as honored to hear that I helped inspired you to complete Chapter 20. When I first saw your story, I was actually thrilled since I always thought about what it would be like if one of the Incubator drones gained true individuality, emotions, empathy, and a conscience, leading the drone to become a true friend and ally to Magical Girls. So far, I've seen a lot of promise to this story. Key has become one of my favorite fanfiction original characters (even if he did technically start out as one of Kyubey's drones) and I like seeing the friendship between him and the girls. I can only wonder when Homura will begin to fully accept him as a friend.

I certainly wasn't expecting this story to be a crossover with Saya no Uta and Slender: The Arrival, but I don't mind at all. Seeing how the cast of Puella Magi Madoka Magica will influence the events of those stories and possibly help prevent the Downer Endings of both games certainly makes it interesting. I do wonder if there will be more Eldritch Horrors from other stories coming Homura's emotional state in this chapter makes me really worried about what's going to happen. I wonder if Homura is going to lash out at Key for supposedly abandoning her and start driving a wedge between herself and the other girls, and how this will affect Key. I also wonder if Oriko, Yuma, Kyoko, and Kirika will help out in this part of the story, like sending Kyoko to help the girls and Key against Slender Man as one , I'm honored to hear of your shout-out and I hope to see more of this story later this year!

Your welcome! As I said in the author's notes, seeing someone else make edits and additions to the Tv Tropes page for this fanfic really meant a lot, as it showed that people were still interested. It seems that the concept of a good Kyubey is one that plenty of people have been interested in. I am by no means the originator of that idea (how could I be, when this fic is adopted, lol). Thank you for the compliments on Key, I wonder how you'll react for what I have planned for the end of this arc.

I won't pretend that those were a part of the first draft of the story (as much as their was one, the first ideas differ drastically from those that eventually got released). I also find it rather interesting to plop these characters into these different stories. I can certainly think of other horrors I could use, but don't have much current plans to do so beyond what have already planned, though that may change, lol.

I hope I have foreshadowed and managed to build it properly, but this arc is intending as things driving to a point. What that point is, you'll have to see for yourself, lol. As said earlier in the author's note, I'll probably do Oriko's perspective for the next chapter, though I make no promises.

Have a good day!

StarlitDuck

Well, first off, the way you describe events that happen in the show is quite engaging. Even though I know what those events are, you manage to tell them in a new and compelling way. And the way you describe Gertud...you did well painting a visual picture of her. The descriptions were very creative (I can tell you from my own writing experience that trying to describe something that appears visually in the source material can be a little challenging). Plus, the added wrinkle of Key is a nice addition, as he shakes up the events of the show in ways that make a true difference.

Oh, Key. He is an intriguing concept all on his own. Having an Incubator who feels emotions and empathizes with humans is such a cool concept. I really hope that his contributions shake up what happens in the loops for the better. After all, he can potentially explain things better than anyone else and (hopefully) prevent the girls' deaths. I especially hope that he is able to prevent Mami from getting killed by Charlotte; there's a lot of story potential there. Even if that doesn't happen, the story potential with Key's presence is so rich and compelling and interesting. He and Homura have an interesting dynamic, and I'm especially curious about his "ability." That's one mystery I can't wait to see the answer ...this is great. Keep up the good work!

Thank you for your compliments! I am glad that my way of writing managing to be compelling and keep you entertained! I do worry at times if I get bogged down in details and a ton of added content, so your enjoyment of my writing style was very much appreciated.

I am glad that people seem to enjoy Key for the most part. OC's of course are usually considered on the harder things to write. So I'm glad that you liked him. His contributions are a huge thing for this story and I'm curious to see how you'll react to them. Wonder how you'll react to his ability too?

This was...this was terrifying. I never watched the anime that you say Saya and the man originate from, so their presence was quite a shock to me (by the way, neat way to tie into the creator's other works). I am interested in seeing where this goes; knowing Urobuchi and his love for messing with his audience, I assume that Saya and the man will add some terrifyingly intriguing story elements.

Also...poor Mami. I really hoped Key being here would end up saving her. Unless Homura has some time magic that can stop this, I don't think she's coming back. I real shame. It's almost as bitter a pill to swallow as the actual , I like this. Oh, and two more things. One I like the way this chapter was opened. That dream sequence Key had was cool. I wonder if regular Incubators have dreams? Even if they don't, that sequence was a great way to reintroduce and elaborate on Key's last thing; watching Homura's icy cold core being broken by Key protecting her was so...wholesome. I really liked seeing it and it was kind of cute , that's all I have to say on this chapter. Good job. :)

Gooooooood! I am delighted that I was able to make something so terrifying! Yeah, the original property that Saya and Fuminori come from can be pretty messed up. It's not an anime, but, from what I gather, more of a horror take on the dating simulator game genre. I've never played it, but I've watched most, if not all of it through a playthrough on Youtube.

We'll see in the next chapter. I cannot wait to hear your opinions on it. No, Kyubey Drones do not typically dream in this story. Key doing show is, among other things, a sign on his individuality and issues.

Homura did everything for a girl who showed her a lot of kindness and attention. I think she'd have a similar, if dulled by years of hardship, reaction to Key doing something similar.

Hope you enjoy this chapter! Once again, would love to hear your opinion of Chapter 4. Its an interesting one.

Thanks again all! I hope you all enjoyed reading this chapter. Please let me know it you did and what you thought of it in a comment!