My nap didn't last long when I caught the sound of the door opening and closing. Sitting up, I got off my bed, heading to the kitchen to see my aunt carrying an arm full of groceries.
She set them on the counter. "The last four are in the backseat," she told me, opening up the fridge. "You can fetch and get them."
"...Sure thing," I said, moving out to the front door, after putting my sneakers on. I headed outside, going to the car.
Opening up the backseat, I saw the last groceries my aunt was talking about. I grabbed them, hauling them out of the car, shutting the door in the process.
I began making my way back when one of the bags tore up. The sounds of cans clattered on the pavement.
I groaned, knowing I'll have to go back and forth to collect them all. Also, the other bags are full, meaning there's no point in putting the cans in them.
Madison seemed to be a highlight of my day.
At least no one saw it... or lack thereof... I began debating whether to place the groceries that hadn't escaped from the bags on the ground or put them inside in order to retrieve the cans.
Guess I'll set these ones down first and pick up the cans to bring them in before getting the rest of the groceries I set down.
Putting the bags to the side, I had picked up five cans when a voice came from behind me. "Here let me help you." It was Hannah, volunteering to help out.
"N-No, I-I don't need a hand," I try to brush aside, unwilling to waste her time.
She picked up a can. "It's no problem." She got another one. "I have to hurry; I don't want my dad knowing I'm out here."
I looked at her strangely. "You aren't allowed outside?" I questioned in disbelief.
"No... I would, except-"
"Hannah, get back in here." Both of us girls saw her dad on the porch, waving his daughter over. "In the house - now," he ordered through gritted teeth.
"Dad, I-"
"Inside!" her father yelled slightly, like he doesn't want to disturb anyone.
She looked at her dad, then back at me. "I should head back in," she said with an apologetic expression. Her dad waited impatiently, tapping his foot on the porch. "Wish we could chat longer..." I, of course, didn't seem to mind one bit. "You look like a good friend to have..." Good friend to have...? "I should get back in the house," she stated, glancing at her dad. "Before he gets mad," she added.
I didn't reply as she headed back to her house. With her inside, her father sent a fiery eye at me. They seem to pierce through his eye wear, causing me to back up until I was a good distance from him.
He hates me. He really hates me. I hadn't done anything wrong...did I?
Breaking away from his terrifying gaze, I went back inside with both cans and the rest of the groceries, shaking the feeling off my shoulders.
"Our neighbor better not be hurting his daughter," I hoped unannounced, helping out by putting the food away.
Aunt Sarah stopped. "Whatever do you mean, dear?"
"I mean he wasn't happy when his daughter was outside," I explained, putting away the cans. "It's like she's a prisoner in her own home," I believed, taking out boxes of dried spaghetti noodles.
"You can go over there..."
"No can do." The stuff out of the way, I drummed my fingers on the countertop. "I'm going to read for a bit."
"Alright."
I headed up to my room, taking a book off my bookcase.
I sat on the floor, my back on the wall where a tall lamp stood by my side. I hadn't bothered turning it on, seeing I had enough sunlight.
I was only a few chapters away when I saw my aunt. "Yes?" I flipped a page, not looking up until something was handed over to me. "What's this?" I asked, seeing it was some mail.
"I found them in our new mailbox; I almost forgot about them. They're someone for..." Looking at one of the letters. "...Richard Larry Shivers. He's the man who's next door to us."
"Shivers?" I replied in a disbelief tone. "Strange last name for a weird person. So, what do you want me to do? Give him his mail?"
"Why, yes."
"He told me to stay on my side of the fence," I repeated in reminder.
"Not when you accidentally have someone else's mail." My aunt does make a good point, except I'm not in the mood to give someone's mail. "Here." She took my book, replacing it with the mail. "Bring them to him."
I bit my bottom lip. "...Fine," I obeyed. Getting up, I made my way out of my room to the outdoors. "All you need to do is knock, wait for an answer, return the mail, and return back," I gave myself a pep talk. Taking a deep breath, I walked next door, up the sidewalk, and found myself on the porch. Reaching forward, I rang the doorbell. I waited.
I waited some more.
Minutes go by. "He's home..." On the driveway is his car - a Wagoneer. "It shouldn't take long to answer the door...unless he's in the bathroom." I went to ring the doorbell for the second time when it was opened by the man known as Mr. Shivers.
Staring down at me, he kept the door partly open. His eyes moved down, his eyebrow going up. "I was wondering where my mail is..." he said before I could get anything out.
"The mail carrier must've put it in our mailbox by mistake..." I theorized. "I know you told me to stay on my side of the fence, but-"
"Never mind that. Hand over the mail." I wasted no time in giving it to him. "Thank you. Now go." From his voice, it was like he doesn't want me around... "Go, off my yard," he firmly waved off like getting rid of an animal.
I took a step, then another, then another. He eyed me. I turned around, the sound of a door closing in my ears.
Man, he doesn't seem to like me at all.
At least he didn't holler when I wasn't on my side of the fence...
Entering back into the house, I let my aunt know I gave the mail to our weird neighbor.
Again, my aunt lectured about not judging people for who they are. My aunt doesn't like it when people judge others.
I wasn't necessarily judging the man...sort of. You can point fingers all you want, but there's no way I'll talk to him.
Though, I'm curious as to why he won't let his daughter out and about.
"Did you know that a house next to Shivers' is for sale?"
"What?" I must've not caught on to what aunt Sarah had informed me.
"The house on the other side of Mr. Shivers; it's for sale," she informed me. "We're going to have new neighbors. Who knows. They may have someone your age-"
"I wouldn't hang out with them anyway," I said bluntly.
"Ezz."
"I don't want to hang out with anyone - did you forget what happened all those years ago!?" I shouted, getting upset.
"Yes, I do," she recalled, shuttering at the memories.
"Good because those kids are going to be like the other children. They're going to hurt me like..." I trailed off, shaking my head in disgust. "I'm done."
"Ezzy - wait!" But I stormed up to my room, slamming the door shut. Footsteps were heard in the hallway. "Ezz..."
"Go away!" I cried, tossing a pillow off my bed. My wish wasn't granted, the door of my room opening. "I told you - leave me alone!" I practically screamed, covering my face with another pillow. I felt her presence, knowing she hadn't left. "I'm serious, aunt Sarah, go away!" I dared not move the pillow.
"Ezzy...you cannot say all people are bad..." she tried to tell me, although I wasn't buying it. "Maybe this Hannah girl is different." I groaned, knowing she's trying to make me feel better, despite that it hadn't worked, failing like a pop quiz you aren't prepared for. "Moreover, she does sound like a nice girl," she grinned from ear to ear.
"...you hadn't met her... how can you be sure about it?"
"Because I believe there's good in anyone... except for..."
"Don't you dare mention them," I sort of snapped, yanking the pillow off my face. "I'm trying my hardest to forget those...those... people who made my life miserable."
Sitting down on my bed, my aunt rubbed my hand. "You aren't the only one who is upset at what happened to you... I'm actually mad at them for not caring about you aside from your-"
"Don't mention him either; he tormented me like what they did to me."
"Sorry," she apologized, almost forgetting that I don't like thinking about...him... She was silent for a moment until she had an idea. "I know, tomorrow we can go over next door. I'll make cookies to bring them over as a way to say hello. That way you can get acquainted with a new friend."
"Oh, yeah, sure. I can go up to her like a good person and be like 'Hey Hannah, wanna be friends, because you seem like someone who wouldn't bash my face in a pile of dirt'." My aunt tightened her lips together when I talked with sarcasm, not caring about how I spoke. "It's a waste of garbage..." I went to cover my face again when my aunt forced me up. "If you want help with me making cookies, I'm okay with it - just as long as you don't mention any word involving 'friend', then I'm staying in here."
"You may end up changing your mind. Besides, I was also thinking about going out to a restaurant to eat for an early lunch." She got up. "Let's go; I don't want you cooped up in the house all day."
Whether I wanted to stay in bed doing nothing, I could deny an opportunity of going out to eat. I have to admit, she is right about one thing when she mentioned we hadn't gone out to eat because she was busy saving money to buy a new place to live.
Should I mention that her job is at a bank?
I got up. "Restaurant is fine..." I agreed with no hesitation. Going down the steps, we reached the landing, getting our shoes on. My aunt grabbed her purse, searching for her car keys. "What restaurant are we going to?" I folded my arms, waiting for her to get her car keys out. "Fast food?"
"No, a buffet." The sound of jingling came from within her purse after digging through it. "Aha, found them," she proclaimed. "My, my, my, this purse needs to be organized."
I felt a hitch of my breath. "A...buffet restaurant...?" I began to feel anxious, ignoring her little victory of finding her keys. "Aunt Sarah, you know how much I don't like those restaurants," I told her, feeling a bit overwhelmed.
"You'll be fine, honey," she reassured me, placing the strap of her purse on her right shoulder. "All you do is go and get your food. Simple." Opening up the door, she headed out the car. I sighed, praying it won't be a disaster. Last thing I want to happen is humiliate myself in front of everyone, especially the Madison people.
In the car, I buckled up, then made sure I was secured. Aunt Sarah revved up her vehicle, turning on the engine before driving down the road, passing by the house that she mentioned is for sale.
I thought about who would be moving in the other house, curious about it. All in all, I don't care about it. All I care about is being alone, for my aunt is my only exception. She cared for me unlike...
I really need to stop reminding myself about...them. I put down the passenger mirror, looking at myself, then removed my hair that made my mark vanish. I would tell you how I got it...except it's too painful. No matter how hard I want to tell others, it won't come out. My aunt is the only one who knows about it.
"Scars - permitted scars - never go away," she once told me solemnly. "They stay throughout your life until the day you die." So dark... "At the same time, they're unique to have. Think about it. A lot of boys and men have scars, knowing girls and women like them." ...girls and women like scars...? "I mean, what girl won't like that?" Me. "I would be surprised if some lady wouldn't like a guy with scars," she had laughed lightly. "Not to judge by the way."
The memory made me roll my eyes, knowing how dumb she sounded. Not saying she is dumb; it's her words that she says are stupid.
Hiding the mark, I put the mirror back up, a wave of hunger getting to me. I was about to ask if we're there yet.
Thank God, we were.
Parking the car, I noticed we were next to the car I saw on Shivers driveway. I guess he and Hannah went out to eat... No way, he'll keep his daughter indoors to eat up. It wouldn't be fair if he went out to eat and not her.
Heading inside the restaurant, I felt my chest tightened. Inside, there were a lot of people. I feared we won't have a seat.
A kind employee, who I guess takes customers to their tables. "Booth or table?" he asked.
"Booth," Aunt Sarah requested heartily. Afterwards, we were led to our table. "Thank you," she appreciated, unable to get her eyes off of him.
Please, don't tell me...
"No problem, ma'am," he responded, smiling at her. He seemed to be the same age as my aunt. Like I have a problem with it. "What do you want for drinks?" He took out a notepad with a pen that was on his ear.
I blew a piece of strand of hair off my face. "Water..." I figured, unrolling my silverware out of the wrapped up napkin. "...with lemon."
He jotted it down. "Water...with...lemon..." he wrote, scribbling it on the notepad. "You, ma'am?" he politely questioned.
"Please, call me Sarah, no need to be formal," she said, unwrapping her napkin to get the silverware out. "Pepsi with no ice should be fine." He wrote that down, too, and went off to get our refreshments. My aunt stood up. "Let's get our food."
Slowly, I got up from my side of the booth. I ordered myself to chill. Get my food and sit right back down. Shouldn't be too difficult - unless I bump into someone.
I pray I don't... I wished. Like I mentioned already, the last thing I wanna do is make a fool of myself.
My aunt went to one of the food sections, leaving me to go to the other ones. I got my plate, and began choosing what I wanted.
Too many people around, I began to panic a little. Back in Maryland, my therapist always advised me to picture myself all by myself no matter where I am.
It helps... sometimes.
I took a step when someone bumped into me, causing me to bump into another person. "Hey-!" The two of us let out a protest, plates clattering on the tiled floor. Food went everywhere.
I shook my head. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry," I freaked out, gathering up my plate. "I didn't...I don't mean to run into you. It isn't my fault, I-" I would finish, except the person spoke up.
"Woah, easy," he halted, having me see who it was. I jumped when I saw Mr. Shivers. "No need to get worked up - it was an accident." He got his plate and an employee, who saw what happened, began cleaning up the mess. "I wasn't watching where I was going."
"Don't blame yourself..." I looked away then looked around. "I don't see your daughter."
Shivers blinked. "...she's not here." I saw his eyes dart from side to side like a frightened animal. "She's at home... doing stuff."
"Doing what?" I gave him a suspicious eye. Something is up... saying I should stay on my side of the fence... keeping his daughter inside... speaking to me like I'm not invited... I know something is up. "It wouldn't be fair for you to go out to eat, leaving your child in the house," I pointed out.
He froze, then, with nothing else to say, he walked away.
I scoffed. "Coward." Creep would be the proper word for him, also... secretive... Hm. He must be hiding something... Getting rid of the feeling, I got my replacement food, going back to the booth.
I had taken several bites when I saw him again, eating by himself.
Refusing to be a watcher, I minded my own business, eating as aunt Sarah returned. "Why do you have food stains on your shirt?" I looked down, unaware of them. "Accidentally spilled the plate?" she presumed, taking a swift sip of her drink.
"I bumped into him by mistake..." I motioned to the man. "Mr. Shivers," I gave the name to her. I kept my volume down to avoid him hearing me.
"Ah, gotcha." Aunt Sarah also kept her voice soft. "He looks like a kind fellow."
I took the lemon slice off the rim of my glass cup. "I wouldn't think so," I said, using my straw to push down the lemon to the bottom of the cup. "He doesn't look friendly..."
"You gave him his mail back."
"It doesn't mean he's friendly."
"Well..."
"He's secretive. Very secretive."
She looked at him then back at me. "He doesn't look secretive..."
I shook my head. "You may not see it, but I do." I ripped open a pack of sugar, pouring it in my water. "I can tell he's hiding something. I can sense it..."
We finished up and headed back home. At home, I got out my bouncy ball and headed out of the house to the side of it.
Bouncing the ball off the wall, my mind went back in time...
"You're a loser."
"Nobody wants to be your friend."
"Do something you ugly girl!"
"You're worthless."
CRASH!
