Chapter 14: Too Good To Be True...


As it turned out, what Hailey had given me was a piece of paper with her phone number. I probably should've expected that when she gestured me to call her after we first met only a few hours ago. I just sat on one of the living room chairs, staring at the piece of paper.

That question of how I was going to tell Bluey's parents about this kept swimming around in my head. They were willing to let me live with them and… hopefully adopt me, so it's likely they'd support me through it.

"Hey Nate, you alright, kid? You've been sitting there looking down for several minutes." Speaking of Bluey's parents, Bandit just had to notice me and had come over to investigate.

No turning back now.

"...Bandit? If… well, a dog like you had a crush on me and… wanted to start a relationship with me, what would you say?" I looked up at Bandit after asking this and was met with a stunned wide-eyed expression on his face, he obviously hadn't expected to hear such a question come from my mouth.

"Well, I mean… You live and work the same way as we do, so I guess I wouldn't really mind… Why do you even ask?" Bandit raised an eyebrow as he responded with a question of his own.

"Nathan met this lady dog and she gave him a phone number." Bluey who was nearby immediately answered before I could say anything.

"Ohhh, how interesting! So Nate's a real ladies' man!" Bandit said in a playfully cheeky tone as he looked at the piece of paper in my hand before asking another question. "So is she a catch for you, Nate?"

"Um… Well, I will admit, she is pretty and all, but… there's one problem." Bandit just smiled after hearing my concern.

"Ohhh, don't worry. I know where you're coming from, mate. Your days are free and easy especially with a loved one but she's already saying that she wants to have little ones running around in the future and you're worried that they just might be a little too cheeky like someone I know." Bandit assumed whilst giving Bluey a very smug glance, earning an annoyed "Hey!" from the young Blue Heeler.

I mentally facepalmed at how Bandit had completely gotten the wrong idea. Since I was pretty much an alien species to his kind, it should've been pretty obvious what my actual concern was about having a bipedal dog for a girlfriend.

"No, that's not it at all. What I'm worried about is… Are human and biped dog relationships even legal?"

"...Oh." Bandit immediately blinked with a look that was like realisation had hit him like a wall of bricks before his face turned to an uneasy one as if he was unable to answer.

"Yeah, I… hadn't thought of that. I think Andrew might know however."

"Might know what?" It was now Chilli's turn to notice the situation and get curious, walking over to Bandit and I.

"Ah, well, the thing is… Nate's a heck of a charmer!" Bandit announced, glancing back at me with a smile like a proud father.

"Dad!" Bluey scolded, believing that Bandit had stopped taking the current situation seriously. Maybe he was just joking to lighten the mood.

"Okay, okay!" Bandit replied with a chuckle before answering. "Nathan met this girl and it seems like she really likes him because she gave her a phone number."

"Oh, really? Good on you, Nathan!" Chilli looked down at me with a pleased smile which did warm me up a little.

"But he doesn't know if having a dog like us for a girlfriend is illegal or not." Bandit finished, which made his wife's smile fall.

"Ah… Well… I mean… Nathan, do you really like this girl?" Chilli asked me rather firmly. Even though I had just met Hailey, she did sound like she was really into me.

"Well… The truth is, I've never actually had a girlfriend before. Hailey would be my first and she is rather beautiful, considering she's a husky." Chilli nodded in understanding before patting my shoulder.

"If your heart says to be with her, then it would be wrong of us to stop you. Besides, your kind isn't so different to us so who knows? Maybe it is okay!" Chilli prompted as her smile came back, but Bandit leaned over to her a whispered to her that they both should check with Andrew just in case.

"Hey Nathan, I've got an idea!" Bluey piped up as she jogged over to me. "If you really like this Hailey girl, then why don't you and her have a romantic dinner date where you two get to smoochy kiss at the end like mum and dad almost did!" I immediately blushed as Bluey mentioned me kissing Hailey before recalling her mention Bandit and Chilli.

"...What does she mean by "almost did"?" I asked, genuinely curious as to what happened to deter the two from sharing an act of romance. Bandit just looked away with an uneasy look on his face.

"Ehhh, I'd… rather not talk about it." Bandit mumbled, leaving it up to Chilli to whisper in my ear, telling me about a time when Bingo had made them both a "meal" in a set-up dinner date as one of their games and Bandit, being the brave soul he was, ate the entire thing at the cost of tossing his cookies.

I could only mentally shudder at what kind of "food" Bandit had to gorge down to avoid hurting Bingo's feelings before I remembered Bluey's question and was sent into thought. With me spending most of my time at Canistralia in Bluey's home, I was still unfamiliar with the area and thus didn't remember or know any possible restaurants, not to mention that I wasn't exactly loaded with cash right now.

"I'm not sure… Are there any Olive Garden restaurants nearby?" I asked, momentarily forgetting where I was actually was as Bandit and Chilli raised an eyebrow, evidently having no idea what I was talking about.

"Who calls a restaurant "Olive Garden"?" Bandit was the first to speak, voicing his confusion very clearly.

"Sorry, what I meant was, do you guys know any good restaurants nearby that I could take her. Maybe one that looks nice but is insanely cheap because, well..." I rephrased before digging my hands into my pockets and pulling them inside out to gesture to them my problem with a lack of funds.

Chilli looked like she was about to say something when Bluey grinned and called out.

"Oh Chef Bingoooooo!"

"Oh no..." Bandit and Chilli muttered in unison as their eyelids fell with a look that said "Not this again..."


I waited at the front door for the doorbell to ring, stood in place in my best clothes that Chilli just managed to wash in time for the date.

What happened was, after overhearing me talk to Chilli and Bandit about where me and Hailey should go to eat on our first date, Bluey got the idea to play a game called "Romantic Restaurant" where I was going on a romantic dinner date with Hailey whom I had called to come over just a few minutes ago with our date… being in the Heeler's kitchen with Bluey and her family playing the roles of specific restaurant staff.

Nothing wrong with that, really. It saves me the trouble of having to worry about paying for a restaurant's table for two that'll probably go up to over a hundred dollars and Chilli and Bandit's cooking is really good.

...At least I hope it's either of those two that's the chef.

I blinked as the doorbell finally rang and I went to the door and opened it, finding Hailey stood outside with a long white frilled dress and I could see that she had added a bit of mascara as she gave me a flirty wink.

"Hey there, Nathan. Never knew you could make yourself look so handsome." Hailey greeted me in that flirty tone as I managed to swallow my nerve and speak through the reddening blush.

"H-Hi, Hailey. You look really pretty tonight." I managed to pull a small smile through my compliment which made her giggle as she stepped inside.

"So, where will we be eating out, then?"

I responded by holding a hand out to her. "Right this way, ma'am." I could feel my confidence getting a little better the longer I stood by her but I didn't let my guard down. This was my first date and the last thing I wanted was to completely botch it up. Hailey grinned sweetly as she took my hand and allowed me to lead her into a hallway that lead to the kitchen, where Bluey stood behind a podium, no doubt playing as the restaurant worker who leads you to a seat.

"Oh, hello! And what can I do for you two lovely people today?" Bluey asked in a faux posh accent which made Hailey snicker.

"Just a table for two, ma'am!" I politely replied to play along with the game/date as Bluey nodded.

"Of course, right this way!" Bluey stepped down from behind the booking podium and led us both into the kitchen, the dining table had two chairs instead of six with one on the longest side and the other sitting opposite.

As soon as we both sat down, Bluey handed us a piece of paper each with several foods crudely drawn on with crayon. It wasn't hard to figure out what each drawing was meant to represent however.

"I think I'll take the chicken parmigiana." I requested, remembering that being the first meal that Bluey's family made for me when I first stepped foot into their home. Hailey meanwhile requested the grilled barramundi.

"Very good, you two. Sit back and talk romance while you wait!" Bluey prompted us to do, making Hailey snicker again. I figured that now would be a good time to ask Hailey a few questions with some regarding her knowledge of my species.

But before I could utter out even a single letter, Bandit strolled in.

"Ah, hola, Amigo and Senorita! I see you are on your first path of love!" Bandit exclaimed, mimicking a heavy Spanish accent whilst wearing a doctor's coat. "Well, luckily for you! Doctor Romeo Lovepez is here to guide you both on your epic quest of touching each other's heart-"

"Hey! Get out of it, big fella!" Bluey rushed in and shoved Bandit away. I just glanced away, admittedly feeling a little embarrassed at what Bandit was trying to do but all Hailey did was laugh.

"Never knew that girl's dad was such a good comedian!" Hailey laughed as all I could do was nod sheepishly.

With that awkward moment out of the way, I straightened myself and went ahead and asked the first thing that was on my mind.

"Hailey… How long have you known about humans existing for?" Hailey blinked for a moment as if processing the question before answering.

"Well… For about as long as my grandma has told me about working with them. She has an attic full of stuff like photos of her spending time with some humans that she's been keeping secret because of..."

"The Canistralian Government getting rid of all evidence of humans ever existing here?" I finished for her upon noticing that she was struggling to finish her answer.

"Y-Yeah! I'm surprised you know that!" Hailey exclaimed with an impressed smirk to which I returned with a smile of my own.

The rest of the date actually went rather swimmingly. After I asked her a few more questions and learned that she had actually visited a few places where humans lived such as Toronto and Ibiza before the New Zealand war of 2015, which only fuelled her fascination and admiration for humans.

After a near-hour of conversing, our food was served, thankfully made by Chilli but Bingo had helped a bit by adding the spices and sauces to our meals which actually made them taste a lot better so I couldn't help but give my compliments to the little chef's assistant.

After our food was done, Chilli came in with a bottle of soda, but she was holding it like she was instead holding a bottle of champagne.

"Would sir or madam like a drink to wash down their meals?" She asked before Bandit barged in again with the doctor's coat on and that faux Spanish accent.

"Perhaps the two lovebirds could wash the food down with the sweet nectar of tender romance to share on this fine nigh-"

Bandit immediately stopped when Chilli suddenly turned her head to face him, giving him a very intense frowning glare, which made Bandit tense up and speak in his normal voice.

"Uhh, I mean, have fun you two." Bandit sheepishly said before leaving.


Hailey and I sat at one of the stairs leading to the back garden from the house as we both looked up at the night sky, illuminated by clusters of stars.

"The sky is real pretty tonight, isn't it?" Hailey sighed as she continued to look up at the stars.

"Not as pretty as you." I said to the Husky next to me whom looked at me with a grin on her face.

"Oh you!" She giggled before speaking some more.

"You know… I really had fun tonight, Nathan. And you're a really good human." I began to blush again from the sweet words she was giving me before she continued.

"I want to thank you for making tonight so much fun. But first… let me just get something." She teased whilst pointing at her mouth, implying what it was she was going to give me before walking away for whatever she needed to get.

"Hey Nathan?" Bluey's voice resonated beside me as I turned to see her now sat next to me, her large eyes looking up at mine.

"What will you do when you and Hailey get married?" I chuckled at Bluey's question whilst scratching the back of my head with a blush.

"Well… That really depends on if this relationship works and if it really is legal for me to be with Hailey. We'll both need to wait a few years as well before I can even consider proposing to her." I explained to the young Blue Heeler as she smiled.

"I bet you'd be a great dad." She said, I laughed again at her assumptions of me having children with Hailey in the future before pulling her into a hug.

"Thanks, Bluey."


...Me and Bluey had been waiting for ten minutes now. What was it that Hailey needed to get before we both could share what I assume was a kiss? Was she having trouble or…?

"...It doesn't usually take this long for mum and dad to smoochy kiss after being romantic." Bluey pointed out, which I agreed with a nod.

"I think… something might be wrong. I'll go see if she's alright." After voicing my concerns, I stood up from the stair and walked around to the side of Bluey's house where I remember Hailey had walked off to.

I didn't see Hailey anywhere near the house so initially I assumed wherever she had to go to was somewhere further but what could've been so important that she needed to get before coming all the way back to the Heeler's house just for a kiss?

That's when I saw the dark silhouette of two dogs up close with each other. I couldn't make out any details but I could see the silhouettes illuminated from them being near a street light. Even though I knew it'd be weird, I slowly walked over to the two shadow dogs with the intent on asking them if either one of them saw the Husky.

...My entire body instantly froze as it felt like my heart had just cracked and was on the brink of shattering like brittled glass at what I saw.

"...H-Hailey…?" I barely managed to squeak out as I saw the Husky in question, locking lips with another dog, who appeared to be slightly taller than her and judging by the shape of his muzzle and ears, he was a great dane.

After getting Hailey's attention, her eyes opened to meet mine as she broke the kiss with the great dane and furrowed her eyebrows at me.

"What the hell are you doing here, ape? Can't you see I'm busy with my boyfriend?" That very sentence that came out of her mouth was enough to bring me into a downpour of confusion and despair. There was no sweetness in her tone like when she was talking to me at the park, it sounded more like repulsion and anger.

"Eh? Who's this bald monkey, babe?" The great dane asked Hailey, glaring at me with just as much aggravation as the husky.

"No one, Daniel. Just the human that got dumped here." Hailey simply said in that hurtful tone again. Wanting answers, I managed to speak out again, fighting tears and trying to hold back my growing anger.

"I-I-I don't understand… I thought you liked humans, like me… I-I thought-"

"Pfft, seriously?! You really thought I wanted to get freaky with some disgusting no-furred freak of nature who should never have come here?!" Hailey scoffed with a laugh before walking over to me, her nose just inches away from mine as she spoke in a whisper.

"Let me tell you something, Nathan. We were all happy here without you or any other of your naked monkey friends polluting our air and space. All that I said about my grandma working with humans, that may have been true. But just because she was fine with humans, doesn't mean I should be. If anything, I think humans like you are nothing but a plague."

My body got colder and colder with every word that Hailey said. It was like arrows coated in ice piercing my body with every shot, leaving no room for any heat, but she wasn't finished.

"I'm glad that the New Zealand war happened, because it rid this place entirely of humans until you showed up and ruined everything. I only pretended to tolerate you, let alone even like you just to see how stupid and gullible your kind is. If you really thought I would ever love a human, think again. All in all, what I'm trying to say is..."

Hailey's hushed voice became more of a whisper that was more icy than how my own body felt.

"You're not welcome here, and you NEVER will be. You should just do the whole country a favour and kill yourself so we don't have to worry about your scummy kind invading my homeland again."

I was given no time to even respond to what she just said as seconds later, I was knocked to the ground after feeling a hard impact on my face. My entire body quivered as I shakily raised a hand to feel my burning cheek whilst hearing the great dane snicker.

"Hehe, wow, you are such a bitch." Daniel chuckled as did Hailey as they both walked away, leaving me alone. It was there and then that I registered what knocked me to the ground and why my cheek was sore.

Hailey had smacked me. Because I hadn't expected her to do so from the start, the rush and shock of it all must have made me stumble backwards and collapse.

I couldn't hold it in anymore. I just let the tears flow down my cheek as I realised just how stupid I was at falling for Hailey's farce. She had only done this just to mess with me and make it clear that I was still an outsider to this world. Even with Andrew's speech a few days ago, it was all too evident that not every dog in Canistralia was going to accept me and they were most likely going to make their disgust with me very clear either physically or emotionally like Hailey had done.

Picking myself up, I sniffled as I slowly turned to find Chilli and Bandit standing just a few feet away from me, both having a look of horror on their faces. They had no doubt seen everything that had happened but I didn't care, I just clenched my eyes shut and ran back inside to the house and rushing to Bluey and Bingo's room.

I didn't even stop when Chilli called out to me with deep worry.

I just wanted to be alone.


A/N: Thanks, HudsonSpaceCraft for your review, I really appreciate it.

To answer your question regarding Socks, that can easily be answered. If you watch any of the episodes of Season 2 before 'Christmas Swim', you can see that Socks still retains some of her puppy nature and starts acting more human-like in Christmas Swim which is when she starts to walk on two legs.

Second, Nathan is not a viewer-insert or even a self-insert. I'm not a fan of self-insert stories because of how over the top they sometimes get with the self-insert protagonist becoming a Gary Stu with non-sensical OP abilities and somehow with little or no romantic development gets in a relationship with a media's character solely just because the writer has the hots for said character. He is just a character based on no one. My name ain't even Nathan.

The Narration and British pronunciations I will admit are my fault since I am actually British and can't really stop myself from using British-spelled words. I don't get why America and England could've just settled with one form of English, then it would've been less confusing.

And to answer your final question, Bingo would probably play on Nathan's Switch possibly any game that looks colourful such as Kirby, Mario, or even Animal Crossing.