Chapter 6
Despite still dealing with fatigue at times, Rachel really is feeling fine otherwise. She's looking forward to Blaine's visit nearly as much as Kurt is. But there's one little thing still on her mind. It's stupid and she knows it, but it's been bugging her for nearly a week. Eventually, she feels like she has to cave in and ask. She waits until she and Santana are alone in their room. A tad nervously, Rachel closes her computer and turns her attention to her friend.
"San?"
"For the final time Hobbit, you don't have to keep thanking me."
"No, I got that." As soon as she'd felt up to it, she'd cooked Santana's favorite dinner and baked her favorite dessert as a thank you for her coming to her dance class and standing up to her dance teacher on her behalf. And for calling her mom for her, which resulted in a much needed early visit from the woman. "I wanted to ask you something. When you were yelling at Cassie, you mentioned my clothes."
Santana slides down on her bed with a groan, covering her face with the magazine she'd been reading. "Oh, God. What about it?"
"You said that when Kurt doesn't choose my outfits they're still a little ridiculous."
Her friend sits up to look at her. "Yeah, and?"
"And you meant that?"
"Yup."
Rachel stares at her for a moment. "Oh."
Santana rolls her eyes. "Look. For the most part, your clothes are fine. Largely because Hummel chooses them for you. But even those are…..they're the same clothes you wore in high school. In Ohio. We're in New York now and practically adults. We should have more mature clothes to reflect that."
It's a decent point and Rachel likes the idea of it. "What about you?"
A defensive look crosses her face. "What about me?"
"You're still mostly wearing the same clothes that you did in high school. When you weren't wearing your Cheerios uniform, I mean."
"Well, my clothes are stylish and awesome."
"Even now, in New York, when we're practically adults? Aren't you still mostly dressing the same? Isn't Brittany?"
For a moment, Rachel worries her friend is going to yell at her. But then she huffs and folds her arms. "Damnit. You're right."
There's a knock on the door. "Tink, I need to borrow your night cream. I didn't realize I ran out of mine and I absolutely cannot miss a night of my moisturizing routine."
"Come in, Kurt."
Kurt enters and yammers on about his schedule the next day and his plans to stop and buy more face cream. He pauses when he sees the girls looking a little glum. "What's going on? It's not your time of the month, I know that."
Santana scowls. "And how exactly would you kno—"
Kurt points to Rachel, but answers Santana. "You do recall that I once failed to wake her up one morning, all because she bled too much from her period, right? I pulled off her sheet to find her bathing in a pool of her own blood. So, even though she takes birth control pills to lighten her period, I still need to know when it is. If it's her time of the month and she's not waking up or she's acting more sluggish than usual, I need to be aware that if could be from losing too much blood."
Santana cringes. "Right. Shit. Sorry."
Eager to change the subject, Rachel gets back to answering his question. "We were just talking about our clothes and how we're still dressing the same as we were in Lima. In high school."
"Oh." Kurt perks up. "So you two want to go clothes shopping soon? I'm totally down for that."
"We need ideas, first." Rachel points out. "What's good for stylish young women to wear in New York City?"
Kurt bounces excitedly on his toes. "Um, hello? I work for . We can totally get ideas there."
"What, go to your job and talk to the designers there?" Santana asks, looking curious.
"Maybe not. But we could take a look at what's hot now and see if anything would work for you girls." He gasps and claps his hands. "I know! Isabelle's been saying she needs a new idea for the website! A makeover! I'll record you two getting a makeover with the clothes in the Coulter vault, make it artistic, then present it to her! Oh, this'll be great!"
"Brittany, too!" Rachel hurries to add on.
"Of course." Kurt easily agrees. "The question is….when to go." He eyes them intently. "Do you both feel up to a midnight excursion?"
"Midnight?"
"Well, maybe not midnight, but like….now? No one will be there, so we'll have the place to ourselves."
Kurt and Santana look to Rachel, waiting for her response. If she's not up to it, it won't happen. She's tired, but not exhausted or fatigued. And this sounds like a lot of fun. Plus she can sleep in tomorrow since her first class isn't until almost noon. She grins excitedly.
"I'm in! San, go grab Brit!"
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In the end, the entire house decided to go. Even though the point is for the girls to find new styles, if they're doing a makeover video, it'd be best to have both men and women in it. They all look around excitedly, suitably impressed. Santana grumbles about how unfair it is that all Kurt had to do was show photos of his ridiculous outfits to land this job, but the others ignore her. When he uses his keycard and passcode to enter the vault, the girls squeal.
"Oh, my god!" Rachel was going to make a joke about not being able to breathe, but figured it'd be in poor taste considering her health.
"They call this the Couture Vault. It supposedly can withstand a nuclear blast. Okay, I'll set up the camera. The rest of you, start finding clothes!" Kurt gushes.
Rachel signals for Yero to sit in a corner and ties up his leash. He needs to be here, but she doesn't want to get dog hair on the clothes. The girls excitedly look around while the guys stand around looking lost. And kind of bored. Sam is sort of excited to model and Noah always enjoys showing off his muscles, but they don't actually care about clothes or fashion. And Finn doesn't care about any of it, but didn't want to be the only one not participating. He ends up mostly following Rachel around and helping her search for clothes.
"Freeze!" The group shrieks and spins to face the door. Isabelle is flanked by two security guards. Her jaw drops when she sees Kurt. "Kurt?"
Kurt is panicking. "Uh, uh, I thought you were going to be at dinner with Steve Bulcemi and Yoko Ono."
Isabelle steps further into the room, brow still furrowed and eyes jumping around to look at the group of kids. "Well, they cancelled again. What are you doing here? And who are all of you?"
Worried that Kurt may end up in trouble, Rachel is quick to jump in and try to defuse the situation. "I'm Rachel, I'm Kurt's sister. And they're our close friends. He had an idea that would help everyone!"
Nodding quickly, Kurt hurries to explain. "We were going to do a music video for the website."
Still panicking and rambling, Rachel can't help but chime in. "He adores you. He wanted to help you. And he wanted to help us."
The others are staying silent, worried they'll make the situation worse. Kurt quickly tries to justify their presence here at this time. "The girls were going to get a makeover and everyone was going to model some clothes—"
Isabelle waves her hands. "Stop, stop, stop, stop, stop. You had me at makeover."
"Really?" Kurt asks in relief.
"Really."
Isabelle waves off the security guards and starts directing them. She has Kurt take pictures and videos for the "before" portion. Rachel never holds or stays in the expensive clothes for long, worried a nose bleed could cause her to accidentally ruin them. It would be financially devastating to have to pay for damages. She also sits frequently, not wanting to risk becoming too tired to participate as the night wears on. The girls have a blast trying on the fancy clothes. Kurt does a fantastic job filming a music video. Thankfully, Isabelle also helps the girls figure out more affordable, everyday clothes in current styles. The guys have fun watching the girls model beautiful clothes. Rachel swears Finn was drooling while she was wearing a gorgeous purple dress. However, the guys seem to have more fun putting on what they consider to be ridiculous outfits and modeling them. Isabelle points out that Sam is a natural. It amuses Rachel that the woman's eyes keep trailing down to his well defined muscles.
"You're 18, right?" She asks him. After her confirms that he is, she smiles widely. "We're going to have to reshoot whatever footage we get tonight with approved models. But I'd like to recommend you and Santana be involved in some way. Have you ever considered modeling?"
"It, uh…" Sam blushes "….it crossed my mind, but just as a passing thought. Not a dream or anything. I'm studying to be a paramedic."
"That's wonderful. But there's no reason you can't do both if you're interested. You have the body for it."
She guides him through several poses that have everyone cheering and whistling. Finn and Noah give him a hard time about it, but the girls are quick to assure Sam that he looks incredible. They've been there for two hours when Rachel accepts that she won't be able to stay awake much longer. Isabelle insists she can nap on the couch for as long as she needs. Finn points out that if she struggles to wake up when they leave, he can carry her home. With these reassurances, she lays down. She giggles softly while watching the others still modeling and trying on various clothes. Noah is getting aggravated with Kurt's direction and is threatening to model naked if asked to change his shirt one more time. Brittany is dancing around in a gorgeous dress while Santana stares at her adoringly. Finn is putting a hat and scarf on Yero (with Isabelle's permission). Sam is surreptitiously taking his own photos of everything with a grin on his face. Happy she got to participate for as long as she did, she dozes with a smile on her face.
Finn kisses her awake an hour later. Isabelle was apparently offering to take them out for guava juice of all things. Intrigued, Rachel manages to wake up and join in. She remains sleepy and slow moving, but also remains awake and alert. They get home around one in the morning, exhausted but thrilled. The others wanted to stay up and talk about the awesome experience, but Rachel begged off and went straight to bed.
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"Wow. You look incredible." Brody looks around, pretending to be scared. "I can say that, right? Finn's not gonna beat me up, is he?"
Rachel laughs. "No. Mostly because he agrees."
"I think I'd punch him if he didn't. They say that you haven't settled into New York City until you've had your first makeover. Mine took six months."
Rachel looks at him in disbelief. "Oh, really? Like you need a makeover? Every girl in school wants to date you."
He nods confidently. "True." They laugh. Rachel really is glad they managed to be friends. "But four years ago I was a scrawny kid from backwater Montana with a bad haircut and a unibrow. And seniors took me under their wing. Introduced me to a waxiest and the gym and they changed my life."
"Yeah. It's pretty amazing what a good makeover can do. Kurt has always helped me with my clothes….and hair…..and makeup." Brody laughs and she grins. "It used to annoy me. But knowing I was wearing something that looked good did give me a little boost of confidence. I know I'm pretty, but I'm also extremely skinny, pale, and covered in bruises. Those things are out of my control and kind of make me self conscious at times. I've learned to accept that I can't control my body, but I can control some things, like what I wear. Wearing nice clothes in current styles that look good on me and that I'm excited to wear is helping me feel better about how I look."
Brody's smile is genuine. "You are beautiful. I think I made that clear the first time we met. If wearing these clothes helps you feel it, then I am in full support. I certainly enjoy the view…..and only the view because you have a boyfriend with big muscles and two close guy friends who kind of look like they could pull my limbs off. And enjoy doing it." He jokingly shudders.
They head to their next class with Rachel joking about how Santana keeps insisting she hides razor blades in her hair. Brody regales her with stories of friends of his who are fierce and those who talk tough but are actually big softies.
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Her stomach is actually starting to ache from laughing so hard. She struggles to calm herself down, taking in large gulps of air. Still grinning from ear to ear, she shakes her head at the computer screen.
"You've gotta stop! I'm either gonna throw up or pass out!" She laughs.
Jesse St. James is grinning smugly. "Well as amusing as it would be to know I caused either of those by making you laugh so hard, I guess it'd be a bad idea. Sorry. I'll stop telling you about my experiences here at UCLA."
Rachel wipes away tears of mirth. "How many of those stories are complete fabrications?"
"Fabrications?!" His reaction is suitably insulted. "I'll have you know that—only half of them are made up."
"That's what I thought. I swear, you and Brody would get along so well. You're the same age, too."
"Hey, I tried to get into NYADA. It's not my fault Carmen Tibideaux didn't recognize my talent."
"I'm astounded you didn't get in." She says this with complete sincerity.
"Thank you!" He throws his hands up.
"Okay, before I let you go to your rehearsal, I need to ask. How's your health? Any news?"
Jesse's smile dims. "Nothing. But that's normal. Prostate cancer is very manageable. So far everything's going well. I won't know for sure what impact the treatments made until next month."
"Well keep me posted."
"Only if you do the same."
"Of course. It's only fair."
"Right. Tit for tat." With a smarmy grin, Jesse leans closer to the camera. "So if you could lift your shirt and show me your ti—"
Rachel snorts. "Goodbye, Jesse."
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Blaine took off of school to catch an earlier flight and Kurt took off work for the afternoon so that he could pick him up from the airport. By the time Rachel got home from school, they were already there. She squealed and practically jumped on Blaine, who caught her and held her for several long moments.
"I've missed you so much!" Blaine tells her.
"I've really missed you, too."
"You're late." Kurt accuses. He looks to Sam, who met her at school to come home with her. Sam shrugs, then greets Blaine with a hug of his own.
"I was hanging out with friends! Now that I finally have friends on campus, I didn't want to be rude and leave right away." Rachel insisted.
"Now that you're here in person, I want to tell you again that I'm sorry you lost sectionals." Rachel tells Blaine.
"Thanks." He has a small smile.
The three New Yorkers share a frown. "What's going on?"
Blaine rubs the back of his neck and shrugs. "It's just…..I wasn't surprised to lose. First of all, the songs the newbies browbeat Mr. Schue into agreeing to were not good competition songs. More than that, it's not the same without you guys. It's not as fun and we're not as good."
Kurt nods knowingly, looking a tad smug. Rachel and Sam feel bad, though. Sam claps him on the back.
"Sorry, dude. That sucks."
"Just think," Rachel tries to comfort him, "in less than a year you'll be living here with us!"
His smile brightens at that. "I've been counting the days. I want to move here right after graduation. Whether I get into NYADA or not."
"Where else are you applying?"
"Julliard and Tisch."
"All tough schools to get into."
"Yeah, but if I keep working hard I'm sure I'll get into at least one of them." Blaine says confidently.
They talk nonstop until everyone is home. Each person hugs Blaine hello and joins the conversation. Once everyone is there, they ask what they've all been dying to know.
"When we talk on the phone, you don't say much about the newbies. Just that they're annoying and not 'us'." Brittany points out. "What are they like?"
Blaine sighs. "Artie and Tina are great as always. They miss you guys like crazy. Sugar, too. She's calmed down a lot. Let's see…Wade is really talented but he can be arrogant and annoying at times. He makes everything about Unique, his female alter ego, and shoves it in our faces. But then sometimes he goes out of his way to be kind to others and support his friends. He's an enigma. Joe is quiet. Marley is sweet and very talented but with low self-esteem. Kitty is loud and mean. She's a complete bitch and she talks too much, but has a decent voice. I think Artie has a crush on her. I don't get it, because she was horrible to Marley and it was only Sue's intervention that prevented catastrophe. Ryder is funny and nice and has a great voice, but he and Jake are constantly fighting over Marley, which makes everything awkward and uncomfortable. Jake is an incredible dancer and honestly, sometimes his voice makes me melt. The Irish foreign exchange student, Rory, is very kind and has a nice voice, but he's kind of hard to understand and kind of…..blends into the background a lot. Then we got this other cheerleader who can…..kind of…..sing. We didn't really get many other decent auditions."
"I thought for sure the club would be more popular!" Rachel says in dismay. "We were national champions."
Blaine clears his throat. "I can explain that. It turns out, with you all gone, most of our big talent is gone. No one else feels like they could fill your shoes. Plus some kids still think it's a dorky club. We won sectionals, but I wouldn't be surprised if we don't win anything else. Mr. Schue and Coach Sylvester are still great coaches, and we have a fairly talented group, but we just don't get along as well. We're not a tight knit group anymore. Everyone is just pushing to be the star, not caring about the team as a whole. We argue a lot. A lot of them don't work as hard as we did. Coach Sylvester has threatened to kick several of them out, even if it means we don't get to compete anymore."
"Because they're lazy and argue a lot?" Brittany asks wide-eyed.
"Mostly. But also…Wade and Kitty both made some…..very thoughtless and unkind comments about Rachel."
"Me?" Rachel sits up straighter, shocked and dismayed. "I don't even know them!"
"I know!" Blaine is quick to reassure her. "They were completely out of line and that's why Sue threatened to kick them out and Mr. Schue looked just as angry."
"What'd they say?"
Her friend hesitates, staring at her with sad eyes. Finally, he shakes his head. "I think it'd be best if I don't repeat it. They were very wrong and out of line and they've both been put in their place. By the coaches and by those of us who actually know you. Wade was immediately apologetic when he realized his mistake and is remorseful. I don't think Kitty is capable of feeling remorse."
Rachel wraps her arms around herself, still frowning. "I've never even met any of them. I don't understand what they could possibly say about me."
Brittany wraps an arm around her in comfort, frowning as well. "They obviously don't matter. I'd been thinking I'd love to go back and sing with the New Directions again, but now I don't even want to meet them."
The others nod in agreement. Noah looks perturbed.
"Jake didn't say anything about her, did he?"
"No. He didn't. He even told them off."
Noah's shoulders relax. "Good. I'd hate to have to beat up family."
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The weekend with Blaine was just as wonderful as the weekend with Quinn and Mike. They talked constantly, hung out around the house, explored the city, went to Callbacks again, and had fun catching up. Kurt took Blaine out on a date Saturday night, but the rest of the time was spent together as a group. No one commented on the time they spent alone behind a locked door with music blasting. In fact, the other two couples took advantage of the time to spend time alone as well. Before he left on Sunday, Rachel told him about being stage two and that he could tell his coaches and Tina, Artie, and Sugar, but no one else. Blaine hugged her, kissed her, and promised he would.
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"I'm glad you got time with Blaine." Rachel tells her brother.
It's a lovely fall day and Rachel actually feels good today. Not just okay, but truly good. Kurt came to pick her up after her last class and the siblings decided to walk home. First, they're walking around a park between campus and their home. They check out the changing colors of the leaves and enjoy the crunch of brown leaves under their feet.
"Me, too."
"And you got some alone time with him." She nudges his shoulder. His smile isn't as happy as she'd expected. "Is everything okay?"
"Yeah. It's just….before we….got to anything fun…he admitted something to me. He's been lonely and miserable missing me. Missing us, obviously, but….me. He's been going to the gay bar almost every weekend and some weeknights looking to connect with people. He says he generally just talks and dances. But last time he very nearly cheated on me. He didn't. In fact, he admitted that it was David Karofsky who stopped him and made him realize what he was about to do in his drunken stupor."
"David? So he is gay? I thought so."
"Yeah, he is. He's out now, but not exactly shouting it from the rooftops. He goes to the gay bar almost every weekend, too. He saw Blaine there chatting with an older guy, saw Blaine drinking and lowering his inhibitions, saw the guy flirting heavily, and decided to step in. Blaine said that David acted like a jealous ex to get the guy to back off, which was pretty funny. Then he took Blaine home and sobered him up. They talked for hours. Blaine thanked him for saving him from doing something stupid. They're pretty good friends now."
"And how are you feeling about all of that?"
"I need to hug David to thank him. I kind of smacked Blaine for being so stupid. But I forgave him. I mean, it's not like he was going out looking for a hookup. He was just stupid in getting drunk and talking to a stranger. He swore that he'll stop drinking and that if he goes back to that bar, it'll be with David." At Rachel's amused eyebrow raise, Kurt rolls his eyes. "As friends!"
"Had to check." She grins. "So you two are good?"
"We are."
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Weeks go by. Rachel is stunned to realize that she'll be going home for Thanksgiving very soon. The group already has their plane tickets purchased. They had to make sure they purchased their tickets well in advance, since it's a busy travel time of year. After talking it over with the others, they all agreed to yet again hold a Friendsgiving. However, since they'll be going home to visit family and the friends still in high school, they don't want to do it while they're in Ohio. Instead, they decide to host a Friendsgiving at their townhouse the weekend before Thanksgiving. Mercedes had already said that she's taking the full week off to go home. It didn't take any convincing at all to get her to leave a few days earlier and come to New York first. Quinn and Mike both eagerly said they'd be there. They feel bad that Blaine, Tina, Artie, and even Sugar aren't with them, but they'll see them soon enough.
One night, it's just Kurt, Rachel, and Finn home. Santana is out at work, Brittany decided to get a late dinner at her restaurant to keep her company, Puck is hanging out with his work buddies and invited Sam to join him. He invited Finn, too. Finn chose to stay home. Rachel knows he has a project to finish up and left him to it. Instead, she spent time hanging out with Kurt. Later, Kurt is on the phone with Blaine and Rachel decides to see if Finn has finished his project yet. His bedroom door is open. She leans against the door jam and watches him. He's done his PowerPoint presentation and is now playing a game.
"Hey."
Finn pauses the game and turns to her. "Hey."
She saunters into the room, softly shutting the door behind her. Finn's eyes follow her. "Thanksgiving is coming up."
"Yeah."
"It's got me thinking of all the things I'm grateful for. And there's one thing at the top of the list that stands out brighter than the others."
"And what's that?"
"You." His expression softens, a smile forming. She perches on his lap. "I am so grateful that I have such a handsome, talented, thoughtful, loving boyfriend. A boyfriend who is dealing with living in a city he hates for me. I love you, Finn. And I don't feel like I tell you that often enough."
He laughs. "You tell me every day."
"Yeah, but I don't want you to think I'm just saying it or that it's just a passing comment said out of habit. I say it because I truly mean it. I love you with all my heart."
"I know you do. I love you, too."
"I'd like to show you how much I love you. Not just tell you."
Finn sighs. "Rach…..I'd love that. Seriously. I dream of it. But….the risk of you getting an attack during is too high. I don't want to risk it. I don't want it to….taint…..our first time."
"Taint?" Rachel frowns.
"Not….okay, I realize that sounds bad. I just mean….Babe, you're going to get better and go into remission. And as soon as you do, I'm kicking everyone out of the house and having my way with you."
Rachel laughs, completely certain he'd do exactly that. "So it's not that me being sick is a turn off?"
He gives her a disgruntled look. "Nothing about you is a turn off. Not even your habit of talking through movies. Or leaving stuff on the bathroom counter instead of putting it away. I swear. I want to make love to you. I don't need sex to know how much you love me. Emotionally, we're there. We're ready."
"I'm ready in all ways."
"But your body isn't. And it's not your fault. I'm happy to wait. Besides, it's not like we don't do anything."
"No, I know." She sighs, her plans for the evening thwarted. "I kind of feel like we haven't even been doing that much lately."
"And that's not our faults. Life gets in the way. Either you're not feeling well or I'm busy."
"Well….are you busy now?"
Finn stands, lifting her as he does, and carries her to his bed.
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The weekend before Thanksgiving was treated very much like a holiday with a weird extended family. Rachel had started out cleaning with the others, but on and off dizziness forced her to sit out. Instead, she sat on the one desk chair with wheels they own (which Noah found while dumpster diving) and rolled around giving orders. Brittany found this very amusing and pushed the chair for her and occasionally called out "Hear ye, hear ye!" The others took it in good spirits, even if Santana threatened to shove the chair, which Rachel still in it, right out the front door. Knowing she'd never do that, Rachel had laughed and decreed that Santana's new job was taking Yero for a walk. Relieved to get out of cleaning, the Latina jumped at the opportunity. The others grumbled but continued to work until Rachel declared that the house was clean. They baked and cooked up until the last framily member arrived. They added two leaves to their kitchen table to extend it and squeezed in random chairs. Once Mercedes, Mike, and Quinn arrived, everyone was giddy. The entire house is now filled with loud conversations, laughter, music, and even the occasional singing. The ten friends/family talk, catch up, tell jokes, and just enjoy one another's company. It's warm and loving and fun and just what they all needed; especially the three who don't live with them.
"Is this what it's always like here?" Mercedes asks.
The seven who live together look around at one another. "Basically. But with less food."
"And we're not always this loud. We're just thrilled to have you guys here."
"I wish Blaine were here." Kurt admits softly.
Rachel rubs his arm. "You'll see him in just a few days."
He nods and shakes off his melancholy.
Finn looks around at everyone. "I know we're missing a couple people, but this reminds me of hanging out at our spot in the woods."
"Without the fire."
"Or the fresh mountain air."
"Or the scents of the forest."
"Ooh! I still have the candles! I brought them here when we moved." Kurt announces excitedly.
He stands to go get them, then freezes. Rachel watches the emotions flicker across his face and assumes he's remembering why he got them in them first place. This is confirmed when he slowly turns to look at her. Figuring he could use a gentle push, she grins up at him.
"What are you waiting for? It'll be easier to reminisce and imagine we're in our spot if we can smell it."
Seeing that she's not upset, Kurt nods and takes off. In the short time he's gone, the conversation stutters to a somber halt. Brittany starts playing with Rachel's hair. The small diva isn't sure what to say to get everyone back into a cheerful mood. She doesn't want one painful memory to ruin the night, so she tries to distract them with happy thoughts.
"We'll have to go back to our spot with Blaine and the others at the next opportunity. Maybe even next weekend? Or over winter break if we don't have time on this trip." She tells them.
They nod and smile, agreeing with her. Kurt returns and sets the candles down. He lights them and they go back to talking. Once the fragrances of the three candles mingle and fill the room, everyone grins. The night really does become more like a night in the woods around the fire. It both brightens everyone's mood and brings comfort. Rachel is tiring. Yesterday was a long day of cleaning, cooking, and baking. And today was a long day of more cooking and socializing. As the night progresses, she talks less. She leans into Finn, resting her head on his shoulder. She doesn't have to try to keep a smile on her face; she doubts she'd be able to stop smiling right now. Mike and Brittany get up and dance to a song on the radio. Not to be outdone, Santana steals Brittany, then grabs Quinn, and the three girls come up with a little performance on the spot to much applause. Eventually, as Rachel's eyelids begin to droop, she simply enjoys listening to her friends chatting happily around her. The scents from the candles tickle her nose, teasing her with memories of being in the woods with them. Feeling relaxed and happy, she lets herself fall asleep.
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The next day they have a big, relaxed breakfast together. The only downside is that Rachel gets a nosebleed during it. When it becomes clear it won't be stopping quickly, she leaves the kitchen so she doesn't bleed all over everyone's food. Or the table or floor. Sam, who declares that he's the most qualified to assist her, joins her in the living room to monitor the blood flow. It's still going by the time breakfast is cleaned up and the visitors have packed up their belongings. Quinn is heading back to NJ for her last few classes before break begins, but she's on the same flight as them so she'll be back in a matter of days. Mike is heading back to Chicago, then will meet them back home sometime next week. Mercedes is heading straight to Lima from NY. She took the full week off since she has so far to travel (and misses everyone).
Rachel carefully hugs her departing friends, trying not to get blood on them. They ignore that and pull her in for tight hugs. The fact that they'll see each other in a few days makes them all happy. Once those three take off, Sam shakes his head.
"Rach, I think you need a transfusion. It's been bleeding slowly, but for almost an hour. That's a lot of blood." He indicates the soaked hand towel already on the coffee table and the half-soaked one she's holding to her nose.
Brittany rubs her arm. "How are you feeling?"
"Kind of dizzy." She admits.
The others nod. "Hospital it is."
Rachel watches in bemusement as they all gather jackets and start putting them on. "Um, guys? As much as I appreciate it, you don't all need to go."
They freeze and stare at her, then at one another.
"Well I'm definitely going." Kurt announces, buttoning up his jacket.
"And me. I'm her boyfriend."
"Hey, I'm the one who's being trained on how to help in a medical emergency. I should get to go!" Sam declares.
"We're not sending her to the hospital with just guys." Brittany argues.
"Well, Hummel is going."
"He doesn't count as a girl."
"He so counts!"
"Guys!" They stop arguing and turn to her. "I'm—I might—I might pass out. Just…..figure out who is going fast."
Finn and Kurt remain adamant that they're going. Since Brittany is so upset about only guys going with her, it's decided that she'll go with them. Rachel manages to stay conscious, but struggles to focus on anything and feels sluggish. The group grumbles about having to wait for a ride rather than have a car to drive to the hospital right away. By the time the Uber arrives, her nose has stopped bleeding. However, she knows Sam was right and she's going to need a blood transfusion. Finn carries her down to the car.
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"It's not bad. She only needs one bag." Kurt insists, trying to comfort her.
Shelby rests her face in her free hand, her other hand holding the phone. "So they're not keeping her overnight?"
"Nope. She's not even being admitted to the actual hospital. Rachel will be released from the emergency room later today. They're just going to wait for the transfusion to finish and give her a final checkup first."
"You gave them Dr. McCann's information, right?"
"I did, yes."
"Did you tell them her most recent numbers and stage? They should check her numbers again after this."
"I did and they already said they will. They even promised to inform Dr. McCann of all of this."
"And did you tell them that her body has rejected a transfusion in the past? They'll need to monitor her more carefu—"
"Aunt Shelby, relax. They've been informed of everything. I swear. This is Rachel. I know all about her health and history and relayed all relevant information to the doctors and nurses here. More than just the relevant information. I'm pretty sure they were getting annoyed with my rather detailed account of her condition and recent symptoms."
Shelby smiles slightly. "Good. Thank you, Kurt. It's not that I don't trust you, I just—"
"You worry. And you're not used to not being there when she's in the hospital. I get it, but I promise you, you can relax. Rachel is sleeping peacefully, the transfusion is going well, Finn, Brittany and I are monitoring her, a nurse checks on her frequently….everything is fine. It's all under control."
Shelby releases a breath. "Right. I know. Okay. Thank you, Kurt."
"You're welcome."
"Tell her to call me when she wakes up. I don't care what time."
"I will."
His patient tone makes her realize how ridiculous she's being. He knows all of this. He has it all well in hand. He also deserves to know it. "I know you will. And I really do know that you're doing an excellent job taking care of Rachel. I trust you. I wouldn't have let her go to New York if I didn't trust that you'd be able and willing to look after her."
She hears him swallow. "That means a lot, Aunt Shelby."
"I love you, Kurt."
"I love you, too."
She disconnects the call and slumps back into the couch cushions. Scott walks down the stairs carrying an overflowing laundry basket. He does a double take when he sees her face and frowns.
"Everything okay?"
"Our daughter is in the hospital."
Her husband pales and the laundry basket drops to the ground, clothes spilling everywhere. Shelby immediately realizes her mistake and tries to rectify it quickly. She leaps off the couch and holds up her hands.
"She's fine! I'm sorry, I didn't mean to—-I'm sorry. She's fine."
Scott steps back to lean against the wall behind him, his head hitting it with a soft thud. "Holy shit, Shel. You sure know how to give me a heart attack."
She wraps her arms around him. "I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have started with that."
"So what happened?"
"Nosebleed. She's getting a transfusion as we speak."
"So she's not being admitted?"
"No. She'll be home in a few hours. I told Kurt to have her call us once she's home and awake."
"And she's still able to come home in a few days, right?"
He looks so worried that she won't be able to come home for the holiday that Shelby's heart melts. Obviously they'd go to New York if Rachel wasn't up for traveling, but they'd all be happier if she came home; even just for a few days.
"Yes. It was just a nosebleed and just a transfusion."
"Good."
Still feeling bad, Shelby offers "Want a hand with the laundry?"
Scott shrugs, pretending to be put out. "I'd rather make more dirty laundry."
Shelby chuckles. "Seriously? Is that your version of dirty talk? I suppose it's better than quoting a science fiction sh—"
She shrieks when he throws her over his shoulder and takes her upstairs. "We have a few hours before Rachel will be home and calling. I know how we can fill the time. I think we could both use the distraction."
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Rachel feels weird packing to go home. Then again, she has learned that home is not a place, but the people in it. She's home in New York because she's surrounded by her brother, boyfriend, and close friends. Going back to Ohio isn't home. Going back to her mom, her stepdad, her uncle/dad, extended family, and other friends….that's going home. So long as she has those people in her life and she's with them, she is home. The thought makes her smile. That doesn't mean she's not excited to go back to Ohio. She misses the familiarity and comfort of home. Even though she saw her mom a month ago, she still misses her and wants to spend more time with her. Scott and the others, too.
Looking down at the floor where Yero is napping, she wonders if he misses home, too. He seems happy enough here, but it's not the same. That leads to her thinking of Finn and wondering if going home will help him or make his distaste for New York stronger. What if spending several days in Lima pushes him over the edge and he decides to stay? Rachel wants him to be happy. If that means moving back to Ohio, she won't beg him to stay. She doesn't want to be far from him, but she also won't give up NYADA. Deciding it's not worth getting upset about, she shakes the thoughts away. They can face anything together. Even if they're "together" with several states between them.
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Scott, Burt, and Blaine talk football while waiting for the plane to land. Beside them, Shelby and Carole are caught up in their own conversation. Scott grins slightly, distracted by memories of how anxious Shelby has been for Rachel to return home. The poor woman hasn't been able to sit still in days. She's been deep cleaning the whole house, shopping, baking, even gardening, which she doesn't particularly like doing.
"They're here!"
His head jerks in the direction Blaine is pointing. Sure enough, people are getting off the flight. Scott stands, his eyes eagerly scanning the crowd for any sign of his stepdaughter. Alright, so maybe Shelby isn't the only one who has been anxious for Rachel's return. He's distracted by Blaine rushing past him and slamming into Kurt. The boys hug with a mix of laughter and tears. They pull apart long enough to begin kissing. Scott has to laugh when Burt pulls the boys apart so he can hug his son. He only realizes Rachel is there too when he sees her in Shelby's embrace. He didn't even see Shelby move. One moment she was standing a little ways behind him with Carole, next he blinks and she's in front of him and holding her daughter. Carole is walking up to her son and fighting back tears as they embrace. Scott wants to join his wife and stepdaughter but also doesn't want to intrude on this mother-daughter moment. He hasn't seen Rachel in three months. Shelby saw her one month ago, but still needs this moment more than he does. When they finally break apart, they're both sporting huge grins. Knowing it's now his turn, he walks towards them. Once again, he's thwarted. He should have known Burt would get to her next. It's only fair. He is her dad, after all. Scott stops moving again and waits as patiently as he can. Burt releases her so he can greet Finn and Scott won't let anyone else delay him. He moves fast and sweeps Rachel into his arms. She laughs and hugs him back tight.
"I've missed you, Scott."
"I've missed you too, princess."
They've talked a lot on the phone. Not nearly as much as her and Shelby, but they've still talked. He also knows Rachel has been calling Burt once a week. But nothing beats getting to see each other in person. Once everyone has hugged and greeted everyone else, the large group heads to baggage claim. Rachel walks while holding onto her mom. Looking at the scene with a critical eye, Scott is pretty sure she's just holding onto her for emotional comfort and not physical support, so she seems to be feeling fine. He knows she was fine after getting her blood transfusion a few days ago. She'd called them, insisted she was fine, then talked happily about the wonderful Friendsgiving they'd had.
The plan is for the adults who were able to come today to shuttle all the kids home. Tomorrow is Thanksgiving; they'll all be with their own families. On Saturday, The Matthews/Berry's and Hummel/Hudson's will get together for their annual Thanksgiving Take 2. On Sunday, they'll be back here so the kids can fly back to college. He's already dreading it and he knows Shelby is, too. The bright side is the kids will be returning in about a month for winter break, which will be much longer than a long weekend. Scott is hoping that during that longer break, with Rachel home for weeks, Shelby will finally be able to truly relax.
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Comfort. Rachel has been comfortable in New York with the others, but this is different. This is a base level of comfort that is needed for her to remain strong through all challenges. She's curled up on the couch between her parents, leaning against her mom. Yero is stretched out across all their laps. Funny Girl is playing on the tv. Feeling very comfortable and relaxed, Rachel struggles to keep her eyes open. She'd napped on the plane ride, then talked incessantly on the drive home. She doesn't want to miss a moment of being with her mom and stepdad. She takes in the warmth, peace, and love surrounding her and tucks it away for lonely moments back in New York. Not that she's ever truly lonely, but for the moments she's missing her parents, she wants to be able to pull up this memory.
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Thanksgiving with the Corcoran's is loud, warm, and joyful. Rachel gets many hugs and cuddles from her extended family. She's not used to going this long without seeing them; she misses them and is thrilled that they've clearly missed her as well. She sings and dances with Ollie, plays a game with Dylan, and chats with Tyler and Abby. She participates in the family football game. As usual, they are gentle with her when "tackling" or trying to stop her from getting past them. She helps Nana with some of the cooking while they catch up. After a long, relaxed, delicious dinner, the family settles down to play calm games in the living room. Yero alerts everyone to the incoming moderate attack. Grandpa holds her through it. Since it happened fairly late, she simply goes to bed early. Her mom makes her keep the nasal cannula on and snuggles with her in bed until she falls asleep.
The next day she has to spend a little extra time with her younger cousins, reassuring them that she really is fine. Rachel is used to Ollie sitting with her frequently, but she's surprised that Dylan sits on her other side on the couch and leans into her, too. She wraps her arms around both of them and leads them through happy conversations. They, and her grandparents, have a hard time letting go when it's time for her and her parents to leave. It's only the reminder that she'll be back for winter break that lets them smile through their goodbye's.
Thanksgiving Take 2 is awesome as always; especially since Blaine joins them. Rachel has always enjoyed these, but she feels like this is the best one yet. Maybe it's because of the time spent apart. Maybe it's because of the closeness they all share. Maybe it's because while she's sick, she is still doing pretty well. No matter the reason, everyone thoroughly enjoys the day. She's a little disappointed that they don't have time to meet up with their friends at their spot in the woods, but the others reassure her that they'll definitely do it over winter break. She's also disappointed that she doesn't get to see Sue or Mr. Schue, but that's another thing she'll look forward to over winter break.
"Just a few weeks more and you'll be home for several weeks." Her mom whispers in her ear.
Rachel nods and squeezes tighter. Their plane is going to board soon. She knows she needs to let go and join the others, and her mom is right; she'll be back in a few weeks. Still, it's hard to let go of her mom. She manages it just in time. On the plane ride home, she sits beside Finn. Her eyes trace his handsome face.
"Finn?"
He pops out an earbud. "Yeah?"
"How do you feel about going back to New York?"
He sighs. "I don't know. Leaving was hard. I miss Lima. But…I'm going back with you, so I'm happy."
"Are you sure?"
His smile is wide. "Yeah. You make everything good."
"Even New York?"
He kisses her. "Everything."
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Finn has followed Rachel's advice. He's been emailing back and forth with Coach Bieste and Mr. Schue. He also talked to her mother over fall break. They were able to offer him good insights and answer some of his questions. He's still not 100% certain which he wants to do, but he's less anxious about it now. It's also comforting to know that he has Rachel's support no matter what. And that she'd be okay with him changing his mind at any time. It amazes him how much having her support and confidence boosts his own confidence. She loves him so much. She pays attention to his emotions and does whatever she can to make him happy. She compliments and encourages him. She's always happy to stop whatever she's doing to talk to him or spend time with him. She looks out for him. It makes him feel warm and loved. And strong and brave. With her by his side, he can do anything. Even adjust to life in a big city. Rachel always refers to him as her anchor; she doesn't seem to realize that she is also his anchor. She keeps him steady and secure. As the months in New York have gone by, the two couples have been bending the rules a bit and occasionally sleep together (innocently, literally just sleeping in pajamas). Finn's favorite way to fall asleep is with Rachel lying on top of him. Her slight weight pressing down on him is more comforting and reassuring than anything else in the world. Chest to chest, her legs tangled with his, his arms around her waist or back, his fingers either lightly playing with her hair or drawing patterns on her back, her head either on his chest or pressed against his neck, feeling her breath tickle his skin and her toes lightly trace patterns on his calves….best fucking feeling in the world.
Of course, having a beautiful girl pressed against him causes some mild discomfort in other ways at times, but she's usually more than happy to help him find release (when they're alone). Finn can't wait until after they're done college and married. He can't wait to get to sleep in the same bed as her every night for the rest of his life.
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"Has Carmen started handing out her golden tickets yet?" Kurt asks at dinner one night.
Startled, Rachel slowly lowers her fork. "No, and it doesn't matter because I'm not getting one. Alexandra Blasucci was the last freshman to get one in the last seven years and she was practically raised on the Broadway stage. Wait, how do you even know about those tickets?"
He shrugs. "I'm very active on the NYADA blogs. I figured, the more I know, the better I can prepare for when I'm eventually accepted."
"Wait, what golden tickets? What are you talking about?" Santana asks.
Since she won't be getting a ticket, Rachel doesn't really want to talk about it. Still, she answers shortly. "For the Winter Showcase."
Finn takes a sip of water. "That's the performance you have to be invited to perform at, right?"
"Yes. It's not just a performance; it's a competition." Rachel clarifies.
Kurt eagerly provides more information. "The Winter Showcase is like the NYADA Met Ball. Ten students are invited to perform at the showcase a year. The cream of the cream. Carmen Tibideaux handwrites and hand-delivers each invitation. Just getting invited is an honor. Former winners have gone on to win Emmys, Tonys, Golden Globes, and even an Oscar. They all agree—the proudest and greatest moment of their careers was when Carmen handed them that golden envelope."
All eyes swing to Rachel. "I'm a freshman! I'm not getting one!"
"I wouldn't be surprised if you did." Brittany says nonchalantly.
Touched, Rachel smiles. "Thanks, Brit. But it's not happening."
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Rachel is chatting with Lydia, Devon, and a few others before dance class starts. They're in the studio stretching and warming up. She's been less tired lately now that the nightmares have stopped, so she's hoping she'll not tire too quickly or too severely by the end of dance class. But if she does, she knows she has two friends here who will happily sit with her until she's ready to walk out. Their conversation fizzles out when they notice that the room is suddenly going quiet. Looking around at what has captured everyone's attention, Rachel is shocked to see Carmen Tibideaux walking into the dance studio carrying a golden envelope. Everyone has gone still and silent, waiting hopefully to see if it's being handed to them. The formidable woman walks further into the room. Each student she passes without a second glance ends up slumping dejectedly but still watching curiously to see who actually gets it.
The woman is heading their way. Jen, the nasty girl who still insults her and gives her a hard time, is standing just in front of her. If she gets the invitation, Rachel may scream. Or cry. Standing behind her, Rachel can't see Jen's face, but she can see her body become stiff and eager. Carmen doesn't even glance at her. Clearly shocked and confused, Jen turns to look where Carmen's going. Carmen walks around Jen to where Rachel is standing. With a small smile on her face, Carmen hands Rachel the envelope. Stunned and with her heart in her throat, Rachel accepts it. Her hands are shaking as she carefully opens it to read the invitation within.
Rachel Berry has been invited to perform at NYADA's Winter Showcase.
Feeling like she's in a dream, a wonderful one she's afraid to wake up from, Rachel blinks and looks up. Carmen is smiling at her. Seeing that she understands the significance of the invitation, the woman turns and leaves just as regally as she'd arrived. All around her, Rachel's classmates are applauding and cheering. Except Jen and her friend. Lydia throws her arms around her and whispers about how much she deserves it. When she's released, Devon takes over hugging her. Rachel catches a glimpse of Cassandra July's face and almost could have sworn the woman was smiling before she was lost in the throng of classmates coming to congratulate her, but there's no way she saw right.
Rachel is giddy for all of dance class and struggles to focus. She is eager to call her mom to tell her the good news. First, though, she wants to go home and tell Finn and Kurt. When class finally ends, she books it out the door. Brody is hurrying up to her with a huge grin on his face.
"Did I hear—"
"Sshhh! I want to tell whoever is picking me up first!" She tells him with a huge grin of her own.
He laughs and nods. "Understood. But, uh, congratulations. Seriously."
She gives him a quick hug before heading towards the main entrance. Finn is walking up to her. Breathing a little hard, she slows down but still can't stop smiling. He grins.
"Hey! You look happy."
"I got it."
"You…." She pulls the golden envelope out of her bag and hands it to him. Finn lets out a jubilant laugh and beams at her. "This is incredible! I'm not surprised, but I'm so proud of you!"
He lifts her off her feet and spins her around. She laughs until he stops, then she kisses him. Finn sets her back down on her feet but doesn't release her. Still wrapped in his arms, she smiles up at him.
"Do you know what the best part is?"
"What?"
"I earned this with my talent and hard work. It has absolutely nothing to do with being sick or pity. I earned this."
The pride she feels from knowing that positively beams out of her.
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A/N: Sorry for the delay. And since next week is a holiday, I might not get to update. If I do, it won't be until the weekend. Happy Thanksgiving to all who celebrate it!
