A/N: Sorry, all. I've had a lot going on. Crazy at work on top of family drama (the relative is dying, but slower than we initially thought). And my own health issues. Turns out I have something wrong with my heart. They just haven't figured out exactly what yet. Many more medical tests in my future. While balancing more responsibilities at work. So there may be more delays in the future, but hopefully not as long as this one. I've just truly been too tired to write lately. But I'm slowly getting my energy back and getting back into the groove of writing.

Chapter 9

Boredom and Blaine's pout eventually wore her down. She's only been home just over a week so far, but has visited (or been visited by) everyone except those still at McKinley (they understand her worry of catching something, so they've been calling her), she has finished her assignments, celebrated Hanukkah, and rested. Blaine waits for her at the front of the school, bouncing eagerly on his heels. He hurries up to their car when her mom pulls up and escorts her into the school. She smiles while listening to him talk about the musical. They're doing Grease, which she's looking forward to seeing. The rest of the team is rehearsing in the auditorium for the holiday performance coming up. Rachel feels weird walking down the halls as an alumni, but it's a good feeling. He walks her to Sue first. Cheerleading practice is occurring, but neither think Sue will mind this interruption. In the gym, Sue is screeching at the cheerleaders through her bull horn.

"You think this is hard?! Try being water boarded. That's hard!"

Rachel rolls her eyes at the implication that Sue has been water boarded. Then again, she doesn't know much about Sue's past before becoming a cheerleading coach. Rachel releases Yero and lets him run over to Sue. Sue jumps slightly at the sudden appearance of the golden dog, then quickly looks around for Rachel. She gives Yero a quick pet, then hurries over to Rachel and wraps her in a big hug. For a solid minute, neither speak. Sue's hug tightens, then she releases her and steps back.

"Rachel." Then her soft look hardens and she looks away. "The hotshot singer from NYADA finally decides we're worthy of a visit?"

"I've missed you too, Sue." Rachel smiles.

Sue turns to her students. "Run it again!"

She leads Rachel to the benches, where they sit and talk while the Cheerios run through their performance. Sue never even spares a glance to her students, but when the song ends she instantly calls out "That was deplorable! Do it again!". Rachel promises to return again soon so they can catch up more. Sue gives her a final hug and whispers that she has missed her. Rachel and Blaine head to the auditorium, slipping silently through the door and waiting. Mr. Schue is lecturing the New Directions.

"—but if you keep practicing, I'm sure you'll be able to hit that note. Brad, can you take it from that last part again?"

Brad nods and begins playing the piano. Rachel instantly recognizes the song and removes her mask, smirking at Blaine. Her best friend knows what she's going to do and covers his mouth with his hand to smother a laugh. She fills her lungs and opens her mouth.

"Do you know what I know?"

Mr. Schuester spins around to face her, eyes wide. The rest of the New Directions look at her as well; some with shock but most with confusion. She's curious if the shock is from her sudden appearance or from her managing to belt the high note with zero practice or preparation. Brad glances at her, but keeps playing the piano.

"In your palace walls, mighty king."

Already smiling widely and laughing, Mr. Schue leaps down off the stage and jogs over to her. She only stops singing when he wraps her in a big hug.

"Rachel! God, I've missed you. All of you."

"Trust me, we miss you too." She promises him.

"It's so good to see you!" His smile dims. "I'm sorry to hear about the severe attack. But Blaine says you're doing better?"

"Yeah. It was weeks ago. I'm finally starting to get my energy back, at least."

"I'm glad to hear it." He squeezes her arm before turning to the others. Tina, Artie, and Sugar are smiling widely (even if Tina's already tearing up). The others are just watching curiously. "Guys, I have someone for you to meet. This is Rachel Berry. She graduated last year and currently attends the New York Academy of the Dramatic Arts. She just won the annual Winter Showcase. That alone is impressive, but the fact that she won it as a freshman is mind blowing. It's only been done a handful of times."

"Hi."

No longer able to contain herself Tina runs over, pausing just before her. "Can I hug you? Blaine said you didn't want to risk getting sick and I completely underst—"

Rachel cuts her off by closing the gap between them and wrapping her arms around her. "I've missed you, Tina."

Tina hugs her and cries. "I've missed you too! So much! All of you! It's not the same without you."

"So I've heard." She chuckles. "Blaine has kept us up to date. Sorry you guys lost your season already."

Tina shrugs. "My junior year was the best year of my life. So far. I didn't really think my senior year would be as good after you all left and I was right. But I'm looking forward to graduating and beginning my own future. Congrats on winning the Showcase!"

"Thanks!"

"Pardon me, coming through." Artie rolls up to her. "Hey, girl! Glad to see you!"

Rachel gives him a hug before Sugar steps in. They may not have ever been close, but they are friends. Still, Rachel is glad her hug with Sugar is quick and the girl steps back immediately. They all do, giving her space. Reluctantly, Rachel puts on the medical mask. She has sanitizer in her bag, too. She wants to see them but doesn't want to risk getting sick. She's glad they understand. For a couple minutes, she chats with her old friends. It's so much better talking in person rather than through text messages. When they begin telling her more about the newbies, she turns to look at them.

"Which of you is Jake Puckerman?"

A handsome boy with darker skin than Noah's raises his hand. "Hey."

"Your half-brother is a close friend and really awesome. Almost like a brother to me."

"Yeah, he said basically the same thing. Nice to meet you, Rachel. I'd shake your hand, but don't wanna risk spreading germs." He looks her over appraisingly. She's heard he's a womanizer, but this doesn't feel like that. More than that, he doesn't come any closer.

"Thanks. I appreciate that."

"Noah said you haven't been out of the hospital long."

"Long enough." She promises. "I'm better. I still tire easily, but it's not as bad as before."

"Uh, do you want to sit?" A timid voice asks. A pretty brunette.

Rachel smiles, then remembers she's wearing a mask. "Thanks, but I'm fine."

"Can I pet your dog?" A boy with dark blonde hair asks.

"Um…." She glances down at Yero, debating the chances of germs getting on him, then passing to her. "…not right now, if that's okay. Maybe next time."

"Sure." He nods understandingly.

"He's wearing a service dog vest, anyway. It says 'do not pet' right on it, genius. Oh wait, I forgot. You can't read." A short blonde girl says mockingly.

The boy looks down self-consciously. Jake glares at the girl. "Shut up, Kitty."

"Whatevs. I'm assuming we're done for the day?"

"Yeah, sure." Mr. Schue says.

"No, I can leave. It's okay. I wasn't planning on staying long anyway. I was just coming to say hi." Rachel says quickly.

"Wait." Blaine rests a hand on her back. "Would you be willing to sing a Christmas song for us first?"

Mr. Schuester lights up. "Yeah! Show them how it's done."

The blonde, Kitty, and a large black girl both scoff. Rachel eyes them. They're the two who apparently made comments about her without ever meeting her. Rachel raises her head.

"Sure. I can do one song before I go. I haven't really sung much since winning the showcase."

She can't help the little dig at the two scoffers. They lost their sectionals competition while she won a showcase in college. The girls look away and Rachel smirks, glad the mask is hiding it. The others take their seats while she gets situated on the stage. Yero tugs on the leash, which surprises her; he doesn't do it often. Curious, she lets go. Leash dragging behind him, he scampers to the side stage and grabs the leg of a stool in his mouth. The wooden legs scrape on the floor as he drags it towards her. Yero is trained to get things she needs, but generally she has to ask him. He needs some sort of signal or command. Sometimes he'll do things unprompted, like open and close doors or grab his vest and leash without asking. But getting a seat for her? That's new. She wonders if he is intelligent enough to know she tires easily and needs to sit or if he's just used to her sitting more often lately. Blaine jogs up on stage and lifts the stool, bringing it to Rachel. Yero follows quickly, tail wagging. Rachel is sure to pet him and praise him. She'll give him a treat later. She removes her mask and sings "River". Then because Tina and Artie specifically requested it, she sings "O Holy Night" again. She receives enthusiastic applause for both. Being respectful of her weakened immune system, no one hugs her goodbye. Mr. Schue squeezes her shoulder before she leaves, but otherwise keeps his distance. As much as she loved the hello hugs and regrets not being willing to risk goodbye hugs, she's grateful for the distance. The last thing she needs right now is to catch a bad flu or pneumonia or something and end up back in the hospital. Blaine, Tina, Artie, and Sugar promise they have been taking vitamins and washing their hands frequently and staying away from sick people as much as possible. They promise to keep doing it so they can hang out over winter break. Rachel thanks them, truly touched that they're still willing to go to those lengths for her, just as they did when she was their classmate.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"Rachel's cool"

Puck looks down at his phone and smirks. Looks like his Jew babe made a visit to McKinley without them. And of course she's cool, she's a good friend of his.

"N hot"

Puck's smirk drops. "Nu uh dont do it"

"lol I wont — Im just sayin"

"Well dont — Finn wud murder ur ass"

"Her voice is insane"

"Told u"

After making his little bro promise to keep his distance from Rachel while still keeping an eye on her if she visits again, he gets back to work. Rachel's idea of working for an existing company and learning from them was brilliant and he's glad he listened. He hates getting up early, but the job is easy. Getting to go out at night and explore the city and party is pretty awesome. Living with people he considers family is probably the best part, though. He wonders if he'll stay in New York, go to another city, or move back to Lima. He supposes it mostly depends on the others. He doesn't want to be the only one to move back home. Puck knows that Finn would be happier moving back to Lima, but he also knows his bro would never leave his girl behind. He frowns, thinking it over. He wants them both to be happy. But Finn won't be happy in New York and Rachel won't be happy not being on Broadway, which is in New York. Neither would be happy if they're not together. They both deserve to get what they want and Puck wants to help make that happen. He's just not sure how.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Rachel is immediately wrapped up in a warm embrace the moment she walks downstairs on the 18th. Her mom holds her close and softly sings "Happy Birthday" to her. Rachel smiles and leans into her. While she's happy to be celebrating her birthday with her parents, this wasn't the plan. The plan was to still be in New York now. To wake up wrapped in Finn's arms (she flushes slightly, thinking of the promised wake up present he'd suggested) and have a wonderful breakfast with the others. Then celebrate her birthday a second time with family after arriving home in a few days. Knowing she won't see Finn, Kurt, or the others at all today really sucks. She tries to ignore it and focus on enjoying time with her family.

"Happy eighteenth birthday, baby girl."

Rachel pulls back and smiles at her mom. "Eighteen. Doesn't that mean I'm not a baby anymore?" She chooses not to comment on the fact that her mother never knew her as a baby.

Her mom shakes her head. "No. You'll always be my baby girl. Even when you're 48."

She sits at her spot at the table and her mom serves her a delicious omelette and bacon. She sees the card leaning against her orange juice glass and her stomach flips. The card from her dads. The one they wrote when she was 8. She'll read it later. She frowns at her phone. No birthday wishes from her friends. Not even her brother or boyfriend. If it was early she wouldn't be surprised. Not only do they not like waking up early, but they'd know she wouldn't be awake yet. Still, it would have been nice to wake up to birthday wishes. A blank screen and no missed messages is disappointing. She shrugs it off and enjoys her breakfast.

After a leisurely breakfast and then shower, her mom takes her to a salon where they get manicures. Then her mom takes her to get a massage. She's happy to see Emily again and the older girl seems thrilled to see her doing pretty well. Afterwards, she checks her phone. Still no messages. She frowns. Not even Blaine? Blaine has been talking to her almost every day. But on her birthday she gets ignored? Again, she tries not to let it bug her. Everyone is busy and she's not a little kid anymore. She's 18 for god's sake. She plays catch with Yero for a while, then goes up to her room to finally read her birthday card from her fathers. She flips the pink envelope over and over in her hands, mimicking the feeling in her stomach. Finally, she opens it.

Our dearest daughter,

Happy birthday, Rachel! Right now, it is your eighth birthday. You're sitting in the living room giggling at us while we write this. You won't read this card for ten years. It's so hard to picture you at 18. God, we can't even imagine. Nearly an adult. Heading off to college. Planning a bright future. And here we are dreading you turning 10. Double digits. Then we'll dread you turning 13. A teenager! You! Our precious little star! Then we'll dread the later teen years. Dating. Teaching you to drive. Prom. Graduation. We're looking forward to celebrating every milestone with you. It's an exciting and wonderful life with you. You make our lives so much better just by being in it and we can't wait for years of more experiences with you. We'll be by your side through all of it. No matter what, we love you and we're proud of you. Spend your million dollars wisely!

Love,

Dad and Daddy

Rachel swipes under her eyes and takes a deep breath. It wasn't as bad as she feared. Not for the first time, she wonders what life would have been like if Daddy had never died. Dad wouldn't have become an abusive alcoholic. She'd have had her dads and Kurt and Burt. She wonders how they would have handled her being sick. Would they have done anything different than what her mom has been doing? Probably not. It's weird to think that about a year after writing this card her Daddy died and everything changed. They all had such high hopes and bright dreams for their future. Together. And then it all went to hell. Two out of three Berry's dead and the third heading that way. She has high hopes and bright dreams for her future. Will it all go to hell again? She shakes her head and tosses the card onto her desk. Now, on her 18th birthday, is not the time to debate this.

Her mom drops her off at the Hummel-Hudson home and she has lunch with Uncle Burt and Carole. She likes spending time with them and is happy that she and Carole are close as well. Even when her boyfriend isn't around, she enjoys spending time with his mother. It's good to know she already has a good relationship with her future mother-in-law. She thanks them for the lunch when they drop her off at home. She and her mom spend a while singing in the basement and having a good time. Afterwards, her mom urges her to take a nap. Not having anything better to do and not wanting to think about not hearing from her other loved ones, she easily agrees. Scott wakes her for dinner. She knows she'll be celebrating her birthday with her extended family over the weekend, so for now she's happy with just the birthday phone calls from her grandparents, aunts and uncles, and cousins. Uncle Burt and Carole join her (other) parents for cake and presents after dinner. After the Hummel's leave, the Matthews/Berry's play a round of Uno with much laughter. Scott tosses his cards down.

"Alright, I give up. You two keep ganging up on me with all those Draw 4's. I have half the deck in my hands!"

Mother and daughter laugh, but make no apology. Her mom turns to her. "Wanna call it a draw?"

Rachel shrugs, figuring they're tired of playing. "Sure."

"Instead, let's go for a ride."

That surprises Rachel. "A ride? To where? Why?"

"We can't just go for a ride? Go put on boots and grab your coat."

Intrigued, Rachel does as told. The small family doesn't drive for long before Rachel recognizes the direction they're heading.

"Why are we—"

"Have you seen the house with the crazy Christmas decorations? Look to the right, it'll be coming up." Scott interrupts.

Realizing they won't give anything away, she looks at the decorations and comments on the ones she likes best. Sure enough, they pull onto a dirt road and park along with several other very familiar cars that she hasn't seen in months. Grinning, Rachel exits the car. A dark figure is heading towards her from the woods. Seeing Finn's smiling face lit by the moon causes her heart to flutter. She practically runs to him. He catches her with a laugh and spins her around. Rachel wraps her legs around his waist and her arms around his shoulders.

"Happy birthday, Rach." He whispers before kissing her.

"You came early?"

"You really thought we would miss your eighteenth birthday?"

"We?" She asks eagerly, wanting to confirm her hopes.

Finn grins and jerks his head towards the woods. Rachel peers through the trees and can just barely make out the flickering light that can only come from a fire. Straining her ears, she can sort of hear laughter.

"Everyone?" She asks in an excited whisper.

"Everyone."

She kisses him firmly before signaling for him to set her down. The car pulls up beside them.

"Have fun, honey!" Her mom calls out the window. "Oh wait. You almost forgot."

The back window rolls down and Yero leaps out. Her furry boy has his leash in his mouth and brings it to her. She coos her apology for forgetting him in the car and attaches the leash. Holding Finn's hand, they head into the woods. The closer they get to the light the louder the chatter becomes, until Rachel can make out different voices. Her smile grows. When they enter the clearing, she stops to simply take in the scene. All of her framily is here. Warmth fills her. Everyone from New York, Quinn, Mike, Mercedes, and the current seniors, Blaine, Tina, Sugar, and Artie. They're all sitting or standing around the fire talking cheerfully. Everyone looks so happy.

"Rachel!"

"Birthday girl!"

"Happy birthday!"

In moments, she is swarmed. Finn laughs and backs off, letting the others greet her. After everyone has had a chance to hug her and wish her a happy birthday, they drag her over to a log to sit on by the fire. Yero dances around, excited to get pets from everyone.

"Did you really think we wouldn't celebrate with you?" Sam asks her with a grin.

"Well, I figured we'd have a belated celebration after you guys arrived in a few days."

"Nah. We came early so we could be with you on your birthday."

"When did you get to Ohio?" She asks.

"Today. Our flight got in a few hours ago. We dropped our bags at home, had dinner, then came here." Quinn explains.

It's a fun night of talking, dancing, singing, and just goofing off. Everyone is thrilled to be reunited once again. Rachel is thrilled to see them all together and to know that they were willing to come home early just for her.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

They go back to McKinley together later in the week. Mr. Schue and even Sue are thrilled to see them all again. They're also formally introduced to Jake Puckerman and the rest of the new members of the New Directions. Just for fun, Kurt suggests a sing-off. Everyone else quickly agrees. The alumni sit back and watch the newbies sing "Up on the rooftop", which they politely applaud. They really do have some amazing voices this year; they just haven't figured out how to work together yet, hence their failed season. Then the alumni get up and perform "Do They Know It's Christmas?". Personally, Rachel knows they outperformed the younger kids, but decides to refrain from pointing it out. Then just a couple of the newbies perform "Away in a Manger". It's very pretty. Rachel snags her New York friends and easily convinces them to perform one of the numbers they'd been singing at home just for fun (mostly prior to her severe attack). Mike, Quinn, and Mercedes agree to sit out and watch.

They announce that they will perform "Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairy" and when they say they're doing it a cappella, Blaine is both thrilled and disappointed.

"Without me?"

Kurt kisses his boyfriend. "Sorry, Blaine. I know you love a cappella songs, but this was just something we did while hanging around the house."

Santana rolls her eyes. "Don't try to take credit for arranging this, Hummel." She turns to the others. "We heard Pentatonix sing this arrangement and decided to do our best to copy them."

"We changed it a little to make it better fit our voices." Rachel defends. Finn clears his throat without looking at her. She sighs. "But yes, we basically copied Pentatonix for this."

They sound amazing and have fun with it. It was tricky but fun to sing a song with no actual words. They're quite proud of how it turned out. And the impressed looks on others faces and applause confirms they did a good job. They spend a little more time chatting before Rachel starts getting antsy about germs and suggests they get going. The others happily agree, though first Noah promises Jake they'll hang out that weekend.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"You're sure it's not rude to ask?" Rachel asks worriedly.

"Not at all." Shelby promises her. "You're tired of traveling. It's completely reasonable and they don't mind coming here instead of us going there."

"It just doesn't seem fair. There's only three of us and the ten of them are coming here."

"But you traveled from New York to Ohio, driving an hour to get home from the airport, you've already gone to the grandparents house for the end of Hanukkah, then back here, and you'll be going back to New York in about two weeks. And this is after doing this all barely a month ago for Thanksgiving. It's a lot of traveling in a short amount of time. It's tiring. And you still tire easily. They'll understand. No one will be annoyed, alright? Stop stressing about it."

Rachel sighs. "Okay. Thanks, Mom."

Shelby lets her smile slip as the girl walks out of the room. She still tires easily. Granted, she had a severe attack, but that was a while ago now. Rachel's energy levels seem to be back to how they were before the attack, but still not good. And she still tires more easily. It worries Shelby, but they saw Dr. Reed yesterday and he confirmed that her numbers haven't dropped. He also reminded them that fatigue is to be expected. It's just hard watching her kid be sick for this long. She really is proud of her daughter. No matter her own personal fears or wishes, she is proud that her daughter is brave and strong and continues to fight for the life she wants. She has tough days where she is a little mopey or depressed, but overall she maintains high spirits.

Even though a lot of the time they've spent together lately has been calm, quiet time at home, Shelby has loved every moment of it. She loves peering in her room in the morning and seeing her child sleeping. She loves making her breakfast and sipping coffee while listening to Rachel talk; especially with Scott. Those two get into playful arguments almost every day, thoroughly entertaining Shelby. Most days have been spent curling up to watch a movie (even with Rachel's snarky comments or random questions interrupting it), playing a game, singing, or even just talking. It's been wonderful having her child home with her again. At the same time, she can tell that it's different. Rachel is enjoying her time at home with her, but not to the same degree. She's happy, yet yearning to return to her new life in New York. It fills Shelby with joy to know Rachel is so ready and eager to embrace life. It breaks the mother's heart to know that being here, in Ohio, with her, isn't what her daughter wants most. Yes, Rachel loves her and always will. She'll always love spending time with her. But it is no longer, nor will ever again be, her focus. Nor should it be. It's still hard to let go. Scott keeps reminding her that this is normal for all parents, no matter the differences they face.

She goes back to doing the laundry, choosing to focus on enjoying having her daughter home and not think about how soon she'll be leaving again. She toys with the idea of moving to New York, but she and Scott have a life here. And she doesn't want to make Rachel feel crowded or anything. She sighs, acknowledging that frequent visits will be the norm from here on out. Shelby eyes the level of detergent in the laundry cup before adding a bit more. Loud barking makes her jump. The detergent drops from her hand, clattering on the ground and splattering detergent. Without a second thought, she runs down the hall and into Rachel's room. The girl is already curled around her dog and gasping. Shelby quickly sits behind her and pulls her back against her chest, supporting her weight. Yero moves with them, pressing into Rachel's front. Rachel's hands claw at her chest, her feet sliding and twisting around uselessly against the pain.

"Breathe, baby. I need you to breathe." Calm and confident; soothing. She hopes.

Rachel nods and sucks in a breath, her face scrunched up. She groans and gasps, releasing the air.

"Again."

She manages a couple short, staccato breaths but it's better than nothing. Shelby monitors how much air she's getting while also trying to keep an eye on the clock. She wishes Scott were home so he could grab the oxygen tank. It's another agonizing two minutes before Rachel's tense body relaxes, slumping back against Shelby. The mother adjusts her hold to make them both more comfortable, allowing her own heart to settle. She kisses Rachel's temple. She looks like she's falling asleep.

"Hey. Honey. Stay awake."

"Hm."

"I need you to stay awake for a couple minutes, okay?"

The oxygen tank sits in the corner of the room. It's not one of the small or travel ones that Yero can grab. It's the biggest one they have. And they're in the middle of the room, with nothing for Shelby to rest Rachel against so she's propped up. Reluctantly, she lowers her daughter to the floor.

"I need to get your oxygen. I'll be right back. Stay awake, Rachel." This is her first moderate attack since the severe attack, making Shelby more nervous than usual. Plus she hasn't seen a moderate attack first hand in months.

The girls eyes flutter. "'Kay."

The moment she backs away, Yero scoots forward and rests his head on the girl's stomach. It doesn't take long to bring the oxygen over and get a nasal cannula on Rachel. Her eyes are closed again. Shelby lightly slaps her cheek.

"Hon? Open your eyes."

The eyelids flutter but the girl makes no sound. Shelby frowns, closely inspecting her daughter. Her breathing still isn't great, but her pulse is fine. She's pale, but that's normal. Carefully, Shelby slides her arms under the girl and lifts her off the floor. She moves them so that she's leaning back against Rachel's bed with Rachel cradled sideways on her lap, her head resting on her shoulder. Yero follows and once again lays down so his head is on her torso. As they sit there, it slowly occurs to Shelby that something feels different. She's frowning down at her daughter, trying to determine what feels off, when Yero releases a low whine and shifts. Heart jumping into her throat, the mother adjusts Rachel.

"Rach? Honey?"

The girl's chest is rising a falling, but slower than before. Slower, with longer pauses in between. Each breath in is more faint than the last. Her breathing is slowing down.

"Rachel!" She shakes her. "Rachel, wake up. Open your eyes right now!"

The eyelids flutter, then open slightly. Rachel's eyes are tired and confused. Releasing a breath, Shelby softens her tone.

"Sorry, baby girl, but I need you to stay awake. I need you to keep taking big breaths." Her eyes drift closed. "No no, keep 'em open." She pats her cheek. Rachel grudgingly opens her eyes. "Keep 'em open or I call an ambulance." She'd have already done that but she'd left her phone downstairs after talking to her sister. She cranes her neck to look around the room for Rachel's phone. She doesn't see it. Trying not to panic, she presses a hand to Rachel's chest. Slow and shallow. Not good. The mother quickly swaps out the nasal cannula for a mask, providing more oxygen. Wanting to keep Rachel conscious but not wanting to show how worried she is, she works hard to keep her tone soothing. "Keep breathing, baby girl. Stay with me. Eyes open and nice deep breaths. C'mon, you can do it."

Rachel's eyes roll and Shelby's stomach plummets. If she passes out, she'll have to run and get a phone to call an ambulance. However, if she can stay awake and breathing, she'll just keep monitoring her and call Dr. Reed. Over the next couple minutes, Rachel's breathing becomes more steady, with more air getting into her. She's still hanging on the edge of consciousness, but Shelby doesn't think that's surprising. She normally naps after moderate attacks. Gently, Shelby rocks her baby girl, still monitoring her breathing despite the improvement. She hates this. She hates it. Even more, she hates that there's nothing else she can do. Part of her wishes she'd forced Rachel to get the bone marrow transplant. But what if she had and relapses again in the future? She'd have no bone marrow transplant to fall back on and her odds of surviving would be even lower than they are now. But she needs to survive now. The uncertainty is torture.

"Yero. Phone."

Yero gets up and prowls the room, sniffing and turning his head all around. After a minute of searching, he returns with Rachel's phone in his mouth. Shelby takes it and scratches his head. Yero goes right back to lying with his head against Rachel. Good dog. Rachel's phone is not allowed to be locked in case of emergencies, so it's easy for Shelby to open it and find Scott's number.

"Hey, Rach!"

Just hearing her husbands voice comforts her. "No. It's Shelby."

"Shel? Everything okay?"

Shelby blows out a breath. "Not really. Can you come home? Now?"

"I'm on my way." There's a momentary pause. She can hear the clank of weights being put down and muffled conversation, then he's back to her. "What's going on? Do you need to call an ambulance?"

The mother looks down at Rachel, taking in her steadying breaths. "No. Not anymore, at least."

"What?" She gives him a quick rundown of what happened. Scott blows out a breath. "I'm sorry, Shel. I know we all hoped she'd be better by now. I'm on my way, alright? Just a few more minutes and I'll be home. Just keep monitoring her breathing."

"I am. I will."

Ten minutes later, her husband jogs up the stairs two at a time. He kneels beside them and checks Rachel's pulse and breathing. Finding both steady, he releases a tense breath and sits on the floor, running a hand through his short beard.

"How are you?"

A tense chuckle emerges. "Fine now. Panicked earlier. I know she's fine, but thank you for coming home so fast anyway."

"Of course. You guys needed me. And you said her breathing was slowing down. How long has her breathing been steady?"

Shelby lets her head slump back against the bed behind her. "Not long after we got off the phone. I've been sitting here monitoring her breathing this whole time and it's been full and steady breaths."

"You're keeping the mask on her?"

"Absolutely. I'm leaving it on her until she wakes up, then she can switch down to a nasal cannula."

He nods. "Want me to put her on the bed and stay with her so you can call Dr. Reed?"

Shelby lets her hand rest on her daughter's chest for a moment, both feeling and listening to the steady breaths. Reassured, she nods. "Please."

Rachel stays sound asleep while Scott lifts her from Shelby's lap and lays her on the bed. The parents tuck her in. Yero lays beside her and Scott pulls the desk chair up to the bed. Seeing that Rachel is well cared for, Shelby leaves the room to make the call.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

It wasn't what she'd hoped, but it wasn't as bad as she'd feared. "It's to be expected." In terms of your child's failing health, that's not what a parent wants to hear from their doctor. Stopping breathing is not to be expected. Becoming weak and exhausted after climbing the stairs hours after a moderate attack is not to be expected. They should not be expecting these things. But with Rachel…..their expectations need to be…..different. At least until she's in remission again. And, according to both Dr. McCann and Dr. Reed, even then their expectations of "healthy" will need to be redefined. It crushes her heart and she worries what it's doing to Rachel's heart. Shelby knows Rachel speaks to Renee once and a while, but she wants to get them talking regularly now. And she should probably increase her talks with her own therapist. Especially since Rachel is returning to New York in a matter of days. Days. This trip, though it started early, was not long enough. And it started early was because of bad reason. Shelby hates the idea of sending her still sick little girl back to New York. Even more so now than before. Then again, that's not entirely true. Thinking over every aspect of it, she realizes that she trusts the others to look after Rachel even more now than ever. They've earned her trust and she needs to learn to back off a little. It's just hard.

Shelby turns her head to watch her husband and daughter play some card game that involves bluffing. She's pretty sure they just made it up. Or maybe they took an existing game and changed the rules to better suit their purpose. Scott waves his hand of cards in the air and declares himself the winner. Rachel is laughing so hard that tears of mirth begin to trickle down her face. The girl places her own hand of cards down on the table and laughs even harder when Scott's face goes from jubilant to shocked to defeated. The man slumps down and grumbles about being outwitted by a college girl. Shelby smiles, happy the two of them have grown so close. She watches carefully to make sure Rachel is able to catch her breath as her laughter eases. It takes longer than it should have, but she does manage to catch her breath and she doesn't seem to be breathing hard, so Shelby decides not to ask her to use her oxygen. Yet. She'll ask her to use it for a few minute before bed tonight. Just to be safe. Rachel hasn't been arguing with her on any of her overprotective requests/demands regarding her health. She wonders if she's trying to calm Shelby down or if she's afraid Shelby won't let her return to New York if she argues. Probably the latter.

It's been nice having the kids home. She loves having Rachel around 24/7. And the others have been by a few times. They live together in New York, so they haven't worried about getting together too much over break. Instead, they've chosen to spend their time with their families and the friends they don't live with. Despite this agreement, it seems the kids can't actually stay apart for long. Plus, Rachel has spent a decent amount of time with the Hummel's. Burt has been grateful to spend time with all his kids this break. Especially all together. Shelby opens her phone calendar and scrolls. The next long break the kids will return home for is spring break. Over three months away. Her heart clenches. She can handle this. She can. And she can always go visit Rachel in a month or two. That helps her settle down. She looks over at her daughter again and wonders if she'd want her mom to come visit. She'd been happy last time she'd come to visit, but that was after weeks of intense nightmares. How long before Rachel is less pleased and more annoyed by her mom's visits?

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Rachel sighs deeply and flops back on her bed. She feels weirdly relieved to be back in New York. She already misses her mom and the others a little, but she knows that soon enough she'll be so busy with school that she won't be able to focus on it. And that pang of missing loved ones can be soothed with phone calls, FaceTime calls, and visits. Blaine had had a really hard time saying goodbye to all of them, but especially her and Kurt. She'd had a hard time saying goodbye to him as well, but knows she'll talk to him a lot and she'll see him over spring break. Then he'll move in with them over the summer. Only months away. They can make it. For a moment, a dark thought creeps into her head: can she make it to summer? Yes. She can and she will.

The final days of break had been spent hanging out with the people she won't get to see for a while. Her friends, her mom, Scott, Uncle Burt, Carole, her grandparents, aunts and uncles, and cousins. But mostly her mom. She'd loved getting to hang out in their spot in the woods with her friends one final time. Other friends home on break, like Jesse and a few other old Vocal Adrenaline friends and even Warbler friends joined them. One final hurrah before returning to their respective colleges and jobs. Her mom (and Uncle Burt, but he'd been better about hiding it) had had a hard time letting go at the airport. The flight back to New York was weird for all of them. Relieved and excited to be heading back to their NY lives, but also sad and disappointed to be leaving their old lives in Ohio. And that's what it is; their old lives. This, here, is their new lives. Her mind settles on Finn. Of all of them, he'd had the hardest time leaving Ohio. She knows this. He'd relaxed so much at home and had seemed so happy and at ease. More so than he's been in New York. Rachel's lips tug down and her heart clenches. She loves him so much and can't imagine life without him by he side. But not at the cost of his happiness. She flips over onto her stomach and wonders if she should bring it up again or wait for him to bring it up. She also wonders how she can make him happier in New York; if that's even possible. Before she can wallow in her worries, Yero jumps onto the bed and lays on her back. She laughs, but doesn't try to knock him off. His weight pressing down on her is kind of soothing. Her heart settles.

"Thanks, Yero."

He licks her cheek.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Rachel and Kurt are really excited that Kurt will be starting classes at NYADA, for multiple reasons. She already had someone traveling with her to and from campus, but now it's always Kurt since he's finally a student there too. Now, she'll have Kurt on campus and nearby all day. Everyone feels better knowing he'll be near her at all times. Other than having someone to help her with various symptoms and emergencies that pop up, Rachel is just thrilled to have her brother and best friend around more. So is Kurt. Kurt had been a bit worried about starting classes, but since he already knows the campus and multiple students through Rachel, he's realizing he's more comfortable and prepared than he thought. The siblings were giddy taking the bus to campus the first day classes resumed; this time with both of them heading to their own classes. Rachel looked over his schedule and pointed out where his classes will be and any other relevant information or tips she could think of.

It took surprisingly little time to fall back into their old routines (new for Kurt, with his classes). It was comfortable and familiar. Even Finn fell back into it easily enough; not seeming thrilled, per say, but content. Rachel accepts that for now, though she will continue working on a way to get him to be happy. She needs him to be happy in New York. Because if he's not, then she'll have to decide between Finn and her dream of being on Broadway. And she hates that it's not an easy choice. No matter which she chooses, she knows she'll be upset to not have the other. When she walked into dance class for the first time this semester, she was met with looks of relief and happiness. She received many hugs and smiling nods from her classmates. Brody hugged her the longest and stayed by her side as much as possible. They all told her how scary it was and how worried they were for her; and how glad they are that she's back. She reassured all of them that she is fully recovered. She moves into her warmup stretches, feeling many eyes on her. She sighs. She gets it, and while she feels bad for scaring them, she's a little annoyed. Rachel has recovered. It took a while, but she's back to how she was before the severe attack. Cassandra July enters the room clapping her hands to get their attention.

"Alright, people. You had enough time to slack off over break, so let's get you back into shape. Get in position, we're starting right where we left off before break." Cassandra turns to look at Rachel, her eyes narrowing. "Assuming it's not gonna kill you, Schwimmer."

Amused despite herself, Rachel squares her shoulders and looks at her teacher confidently. "I'm good to go."

"Good. You caused enough disruption in the last class you were in. God, you're such a drama queen."

She turns away, immediately barking insults at other students. Rachel glances at Brody and catches him wiping a grin off his face. Weirdly, she realizes everyone looks a little amused. Despite feeling like she's missing something, she falls into line, dancing with the others.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

It took a couple more dance classes for her to realize what was different. While Ms. July is still harsher on Rachel than any of the others, something about it changed. When her insults are harsh, her tone is lighter and more playful. When her insults are more goofy or playful, her tone is sharper. It's like she wants Rachel to hear what she's saying but not be too upset about it. Or maybe like she wants Rachel to take her comments seriously, but not the way those comments are expressed. And her classmates, who initially didn't seem to care that their instructor was so horrible to Rachel, eventually started feeling bad for her being a constant target. Now, they just seem amused by it. Thinking it over, Rachel understands that her teacher has a point to her insults, and wants Rachel to grasp her full meaning, but doesn't actually hate her. Rachel isn't sure why, but decides to compare Cassandra's behavior to Sue's. That helps. It makes dance class less tense and antagonistic. She's learning more, faster, and improving. Dance class is becoming…dare she say it?…fun.

The rest of her classes go really well. Her peers and professors all give her a little more respect for winning the winter showcase, but at the same time it means they all expect more from her constantly. While that's a tad stressful, she also enjoys the challenge. She wants to better herself. She wants to be the best. But not at the expense of her health, she has reassured everyone.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"You are not."

"What?" Kurt asks innocently.

Rachel sets her bag down on the table and gives him a look. "You are not joining NYADA's glee club."

Kurt groans. "I'm just…..thinking about it. I loved glee! I miss it."

Rachel brushes her hair behind her ears. "Look, Kurt. In high school, glee was seen as the lowest dorkiest club there was for a while. It's the same here! If you want a good image and make good connections, then don't join the glee club."

"I thought we were supposed to be having fun and enjoying ourselves while also learning. Glee is fun."

"There are other ways you can sing for fun! We sing around the house all the time! This is a musical house!" She argues.

Sam enters the kitchen. "What's the yelling all about?"

"Rachel doesn't want me to join the dorky glee club." Kurt snipes.

Sam looks between them in surprise. "Wait, seriously? Rach, isn't that a bit hypocritical? We were all in glee together and we didn't care what people thought of us."

"That was different. That was high school."

"How is that different? This is just college."

"This is college, which is supposed to help prepare us for our careers. This is were we learn what we need to learn to be successful performers, but it's also where we need to start making our images and connections. If people's first impression of you is you joining the lowest club available, you won't have a good image and won't make good connections. And that could potentially seriously impact your future career."

Both boys pause, thinking over her words. Kurt's face falls. "I didn't think of it like that."

Sam shrugs and grabs an apple. He claps Kurt on the shoulder. "Follow your heart."

He leaves the siblings alone in the kitchen once more. Kurt leans against the counter and looks to his sister. "He's right. We're supposed to be following our hearts and enjoying ourselves. Not changing who we are to please others. Right?"

Rachel considers this, then sighs, realizing it's a good point. "Yeah. Why does it have to be hard?"

Kurt tilts his head. "It doesn't. Not this, anyway. Other things, yeah. But this? If we just do what makes us happy, not caring what others think, won't we be happier for it? Isn't that basically what you've been doing for the past 6 months or so? Doing things you want to do that make you happy? As long as you can do them at least? How is this different?"

She bites her lip. "It's…not. Except for the fact that you will definitely have a future that might depend on your image and relations with our peers. I might no—"

"No," Kurt interrupts, "that's not what I'm talking about. All I'm talking about is enjoying life now. That's what you've been doing."

"While also working my butt off so that if I do get to have a future it can be the one I want."

He wavers at that and nearly folds. Then he doubles down. "But you're still doing what you want to do. What makes you happy."

Well…he's got her there. She groans. "Fine. Join the stupid glee club. Just don't expect me to join too. And quit if it's not making you happy. Or if you get too much flak for it from our peers."

He laughs, shaking his head at her. "Thanks for your undying support."

She rolls her eyes. She was only trying to help, after all. Looking out for his future.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

The class claps and Stephanie smiles brightly. She takes her seat and the teacher stands before the class.

"Well done, Stephanie. Okay, up next is Dylan."

Dylan swallows. He's excited to share his project. He's proud and confident. But he doesn't like talking in front of the whole class. It makes him shake and talk quietly. And he's not normally quiet. Dylan had to read a book report in November and stuttered and stammered through the whole thing, his face burning. He'd hated it. He thinks back to winter break when he his whole family got together. All of his cousins tried to help give him reassurance and tips. But it was Rachel who really helped because she's used to be on a stage in front of lots and lots of people. He frantically thinks of her advice, running it through his head as he walks to the front of the room. Dylan hands his teacher the flash drive with his PowerPoint on it and she connects it to her computer and projects it on the board for him. This is his project, but his mom and dad helped him with setting up the PowerPoint part and putting in on the flash drive. When the title page is projected on the screen behind him, he takes a deep breath and faces his class.

"Hi. My name is Dylan Corcoran and I'm going to tell you about my hero. Mrs. Weatherby said our hero has to be someone who inspires us. Someone who we look up to and admire. For me, that's my cousin. Rachel Berry."

A couple kids giggle. Dylan frowns, his nerves evaporating in his sudden determination to prove why Rachel is his hero. Why they should all look up to her.

"I know she's a girl and I'm a boy and I could have said my hero was my dad or grandpa and that'd be true. But my biggest hero, besides Spider-Man, is Rachel. And Mrs. Weatherby said I couldn't do my report on Spider-Man." The woman in question hides a smile behind her hand. "Not only do I look up to her, but I think other people should look up to her too."

He hits a button on his teacher's laptop that moves to the next slide. A picture of Rachel and Dylan smiling at the camera pops up. "That's Rachel. My cousin and hero. When Rachel was 14 she was dia…..uh…..di-ag-nosed with a rare blood disease called…." He turns to look at the screen and squints at the words "…..called…..uh….that. We just call it AA for short. It means her body wasn't making her blood the right way or something. It made her really really sick."

He hits another button and a series of pictures showing Rachel getting thinner and paler appear. His classmates look curious. His teacher's smile is completely gone.

"She was stage one for a while but then she got sicker. She went to stage two, three, and then four. When you're really sick like that, the higher stages are a bad thing, not a good thing like in video games. Rachel hit stage four when she turned 16. She was tired a lot. Like a lot a lot. She slept all the time and when she was awake she was sitting down and not moving. 'Cause sometimes she'd get dizzy or something and pass out. She couldn't visit us much because it was an hour drive and she didn't feel good a lot and traveling was hard for her. And Aunt Shelby, her mom, wanted her to be near her doctors. We couldn't visit her too much because we could have made her more sick and we didn't want that. I heard my parents talking about her a lot. They said that Rachel was suffering. Like really suffering. In a lot of pain. I hated that. It made me sad. But she never showed me when she was in pain. Well, except when the pain got too bad and she dropped to the ground," he adds as an afterthought, thinking of the time she got an attack in his backyard on his 7th birthday, "but usually she didn't act like she was in pain. Just tired. I think…I think it took a lot of energy to pretend she wasn't in pain."

His classmates look confused or almost sad. His teacher definitely looks sad. And a little worried. He hits the button again, moving to the next slide. A picture of Rachel on a recliner with Dylan and Oliver on either side of her. She's wearing a nasal cannula. She's also really pale and really thin and she looks like she has bruises under her eyes. It was the last time they saw her before she went to the hospital to die.

"And then Rachel was in the hospital. She was dying. My parents went to go say goodbye to her. They didn't let me or my brother go. They didn't want to upset us. They said it'd be too sad to see her like that. I was mad. I wanted to say goodbye. I remember being angry and crying."

The room is silent. He's talking quieter, but not because he's nervous. He's getting a little upset thinking about it. He takes a deep breath and goes on.

"But she didn't. Die, I mean. They called it a miracle. Instead of dying, she started getting better. She kept fighting even though they told her she wouldn't make it through the night. Rachel survived."

His teacher's shoulders visibly release their tension. Joey's hand shoots into the air.

"So she got better? The AA went away?"

Dylan grins and hits the button. The next slide shows a picture from Rachel's remission party. "Yeah. She went into remission. That means she was healthy again. We had a big party to celebrate. That's when this picture is from. She was sick for a long time and almost died, but then she got better. She was healthy again. Rachel started to be my hero while she was sick because she had to fight these attacks of pain that left her really tired. She was really brave. Everyone said so. She was fighting for her life, I just didn't understand that then. I was too young. But I knew she was fighting against something bad and scary. Like Spider-Man does." He chances a glance at his teacher, worried she'll be mad he managed to talk about Spider-Man after all. Instead of looking upset, she's smiling softly at him. Though her eyes are shiny like she might cry.

"My little brother Oliver turned six a couple months after Rachel got better. We had a family birthday party for him at my grandparent's house. Me and my cousins were playing basketball in the driveway. But then we all got distracted by different things and none of us noticed that only Ollie had the ball. And it got away from him. It rolled down the driveway and into the street. He went after it." He shivers, memories of what happened next filling his mind. "No one noticed. But then Rachel did. She also saw the truck flying down the road. She ran after Ollie. A truck was coming and Ollie was in the street getting the ball and was about to get hit. But Rachel ran into the street and shoved him out of the way. She got hit instead. Kind of."

Samantha's mouth is wide open, jaw dropped. Without raising her hand, she calls out. "So she was sick for a long time, almost died, got better, only to be hit by a car months later?!"

"Did she die?" Carlos asks.

"No!" Dylan says firmly. "She didn't die. She got bruised, but that was it. And Ollie had a few scrapes, but he wasn't badly hurt either. They were both fine. But Ollie would have died if Rachel hadn't pushed him out of the way. She saved his life. She was his hero. Our hero. It was really scary to watch but really awesome, too. She was really brave."

Everyone is nodding.

"But our parents were really mad at her. She already nearly died and was finally healthy and nearly threw her life away. She said she didn't care. All that mattered was saving Oliver. But they were both fine and everyone was relieved and happy about that, so they didn't stay mad. Then, after she turned 17, Rachel relapsed. That means that the AA came back."

"That fast?" Joey asks incredulously.

"Yeah." Dylan nods sadly. "That fast."

Everyone is riveted by this story. Mariana shakes her head and folds her arms. "That's not fair."

Dylan shrugs weakly. "It's not fair, but it's what happened. She's eighteen now and in college but she's still sick. She's been sick a long time. This time it's been over a year. Last time, she was sick almost two years. So…..she has spent almost three years being sick with a serious illness."

Mrs. Weatherby leans forward. "She goes to college anyway? Where?"

"In New York. Aunt Shelby only let her go because a bunch of her friends went with her. She lives in a house in New York right near her college with, uh, six of her closest friends. They know how to help her when she's not feeling well. They know when to take her to the hospital and how to take care of her. And they're happy to do it. And she goes to a really impressive college called NYADA. It's for people who want to perform on stage like Broadway. That's Rachel's dream. She talks about it a lot."

"What's Broadway?" Carlos asks.

Dylan grins. "Rachel would have a meltdown if she heard you ask that. It's like a place in New York where there's a bunch of theaters for shows and only the best, most popular shows end up on Broadway. You have to be really really good at singing and dancing and acting. I've never been, but my parents said we're going to go this spring or summer. We'll visit Rachel and her friends and go see a show."

"She goes to college to sing?"

"Yeah. She's really good. You see, her college is really hard to get into. Only the best singers and dancers in the country get in. And every year they have a big show called a winter…..something. I forget. But it's like a big deal to be invited to perform and Rachel was invited. And she sang. And then she won as a freshman which is even harder to do. Dad said it was a really big deal and they were really proud of her. We all were."

"Can we hear?"

Dylan smiles widely. "Well I don't have a video of that, but I do have a video of her singing. It's on the next slide."

The class, and their teacher, listen eagerly to a video of Rachel singing on stage at regionals senior year. The kids cheered and clapped when it was done and Dylan swears Mrs. Weatherby wiped a tear away.

"She really is very talented." The teacher comments with a smile.

"She is. She'll get on Broadway, I know it. She fought for her life for years. She's still fighting. And she's fighting for her dreams. She's really brave and strong and she'll get it. I know it." He says firmly.

"But….you said she's still sick. And has been sick a long time. What if she doesn't get better? What if she gets worse?" Samantha looks worried.

An uncomfortable feeling sweeps through him, making him feel like he's gonna throw up, but he doesn't. He swallows it down firmly and lifts his head.

"She will get better. She's my hero. And the hero always wins in the end."

Like Spider-Man.

xxxxxxxxxx

A/N: Thanks to Spawn for pointing out that I messed up Dylan's last name! And thanks to all who review!