Chapter One (Meet Donkey)
Down at the village that is closely near to his beloved swampy home and currently finishing up the grocery shopping, Jason was enjoying the wonderful day as he can not resist looking at some of the villager's beautiful girls who were either working at their families sale booth or even just hanging around the shopping area. One of the things that Jason liked about going to the village besides buying necessary things for the house, was to mingle with people who lived there, play with kids his age from time to time, buy books from the bookstore and work part-time down at the lumber mill. But most importantly, Jason loved to see beautiful girls his age as he never had a girlfriend on the day of his life. Still, even though he enjoys seeing cute girls that he talks to and hangs out with them while being in the village, however, he did not felt the spark within his heart of romance. Why you ask?. Well, that is because none of the girls in the village weren't his true love.
That idea by itself was due to deeply believing way too much in the fairy tales that his father reads to him in which he encouraged him to not fall for that nonsense, but Jason can not do so since it was sticking with him forever thus making his dad laugh hardly when telling him that he believed that all mystical creatures both good and bad can have a happily ever after, including ogres. Jason shook his head at the memory of the time he said it before purchasing the loaf of fresh-baked bread from the bread lady and paid her the five silver coins. Next, after thanking the kind woman he then headed on out to stop by at the bar to grab a round of none alcohol beverage before returning home, since the day is kinda hot when entering the season of summer. Once entering the large quite wooden cabin where a few were sitting down at the bar booth or in individual tables both drinking and talking amongst themselves, Jason went over to the empty spot at the booth and sat down his bags of groceries before grabbing his seat. Then called forward the bartender who knew him very well except knowing where the boy lives nor whose his father.
"Ah, Jason you're here for your usual again?." asked the man with black hair with grey hair sideburns, smiling at the young moor.
Jason smiled right back at the old-timer, "Yelp!. One glass of ice-cold root beer, please with extra cream."
The man nodded and went ahead on making the drink while Jason took the moment to eavesdrop on the conversation of the small group behind him that was talking about invading his home and make the fruitless attempt to capture his dad. He listened in while receiving and drinking his root beer he heard the purpose on why they were even thinking about trying it due to a recently wanted flyer, that is offering a decent sum of money for turning over any type of fairytale creature. The value status of a fairytale creature the more shillings you get based on one of the men have said. The idea of it just put Jason in a sour mood while finishing his root beer. Throughout the years, Jason has hated when people tried to hurt his father and try to invade their home without even trying to give his dad a chance and try to get to know him, but that would be the day that Jason would become the most famous written author of the century.
"Well, thanks for the root beer, Mr. Jones. See ya next time," said Jason, leaving right out of the place with his things.
After saying a few farewells to some of his village friends and took the same route path to his house that only took him just about twenty minutes. Eventually, he found himself entering the wonderful swamp that he calls home when smelling that sweet strong nature of swamp gas, and loved the awesome sight of freshwater algae growing in multiple wetlands. Now, most people will define a swamp as a disgusting unpleasant, and smelly damped place. But in the eyes of Shrek and Jason, it is a paradise that nothing can compare in the whole wide world. And speaking of paradise, Jason begins seeing his home in the distance that puts a smile on his face when approaching it closely. Upon reaching his destination he saw his dad doing a little bit of sweeping around the porch humming a tune to himself, without noticing that his son returned from the village as he stood in front of the edge of the porch.
"I'm home," Jason spoke loud enough to grab his dad's attention.
Shrek stopped his sweeping to turn himself around to face his son, "Glad to see you return home safely son. Did you have enough money to buy the things we need?.", he asked when placing the handmade broom up against the front wall of the house.
Jason nodded while letting his father carry half of the groceries and help put them in the house, "Yeah, I have enough money to get the things you asked of me to get. Oh, and also expect to have uninvited guests to come to our swamp."
"Oh?.", Shrek set the groceries in his arms down at the table before beginning to put them up in their proper places in the kitchen, "Another foolish mob group is trying to attempt to capture me?. Boy, will they ever learn?."
Jason shook his head when passing the other groceries to his dad, "I guess not. But hey, it's going to be great and a treat to see you scare the crap out of them."
This made the two laugh at the thought of seeing the mob's reaction on their faces when they get scared silly. Slowly after the two managed to calm down from their laughter and finished putting the food up, the two then headed right outside for two reasons. One, Jason wanted his favorite childhood story read to him. Two, Shrek had to go to the outhouse and handle his business while reading his son's favorite book. Once Shrek entered the outhouse and sat down on the toilet, Jason grabbed his folded chair from the side of the outhouse and then opened to seat down on the side of the outhouse.
"Alright, Dad read away," said Jason, holding his nose to prevent the smell from his father's poop to enter his nostrils.
Shrek reached down to the book in front of him to open and flipped the one blanked page and begin reading the story, and while taking a few bricks in the toilet, "Once upon a time, there was a lovely princess. (Flips-page) But she had an enchantment upon her of a fearful sort. Which could only be broken by love's first kiss."
Jason smiled happily when his favorite book being read to him even though he know how it ends, but loved the story to the point he believed that the princess would one day find happiness and true love's kiss. "I just love the beginning. Please continue dad."
Shrek continued doing his business on the toilet while wrapping up a little bit of toilet paper, "Keep your pants on son, I'm using the toilet remember.", before licking his index finger to help flip the next page. "She was locked away in a castle guarded by a terrible fire breathing dragon. Many brave knights had attempted to free her from this dreadful prison, but none prevailed. And thus, she waited in the dragons keep located in the highest room of the tallest tower. And waited patiently for her true love and true love's first kiss."
"Man, that part gets me every single time. Good writing." commented the young teen, that is until jumping up from a scare of hearing a large rip coming from inside of the outhouse. Jason looked worried, "Oh, God, please don't tell that me dad just..."
"Yeah, right!." Sherk slightly chuckled, "Like that is ever going to happen. Man, what a load of..."
Jason covered his ears from hearing the curse word while holding his breath before putting his hands down to see his dad bust out of the outhouse, and then took the moment to both stretch and straightened his back pants out. Then taking the moment to remove what appeared to be a torn out page of the teen's book from his foot, before looking on proudly at his beautiful home. Right before looking at his current upset son who was hurt to find his favorite childhood book to be treated like toilet paper. Literally.
"Seriously, Dad?. If you were out of paper then I could just run back to the house and get you a new roll instead of using one of the pages. Not cool." said Jason, arms crossed.
Shrek rolled his eyes, "Oh, grow up son. I read you that same boring book for years both in the morning and at your bedtime. Besides, you would write a way better story with a heck of a lot more details than that arthur, who wrote that short story. And, I should know because I taught you everything that is to know about writing both good storytelling and poetry, that people from around the world would buy it right off the shelf."
This sorta made Jason feel a little bit better with a smile on his face to confirm that his father has fixed the small issue. Shrek pulled his son for a hug as well as Jason hugging right back, right before doing their usual routine around the house. Such as brushing their teeth together except for using two different kinds of toothpaste. With Shrek having the regular fashion red slug toothpaste while Jason had a minty fresh slug toothpaste in which is a lot more subtle for the teen when it leaves off a good smell. Next, it was taking a deep into the huge algae pond right after taking a nice relaxing mud shower. Jason and Shrek took enjoyment in relaxing in their pond up to the point the two begin to break wind in the water.
"Oops," Jason said, innocently along with his dad.
"And I think we just catch our lunch," said Shrek, turning around to find two fish floating up and then grabbed them with the quickness.
Eventually, the day went on a relaxing day for the father and son since there is nothing else to do during the day except for eating lunch with the side of eating animal eyes for dessert. That, and waiting for the welcomed guests that will come around midnight as scheduled by Jason. Currently, the two were chilling in the living room with Shrek relaxing in his light green leather chair and Jason seating on the brown couch reading a few books to pass the time. The best books that Jason loved to read are insane impossible adventures and comedy while taking a few notes from it in hopes of creating a new story of his own and in hopes of getting it published by the near publish factory just a few mikes from the village. Let alone get a good contract deal from the place and make more money than working at the lumber mill. As when his mind was about to daydream and soon fall asleep until hearing a rumbling noise coming from outside.
Shrek opened his eyes to see his son who instantly closed his book after placing the bookmark and then setting the book to the side.
"Huh, it looks like our guests have arrived," said Shrek, right before getting up from his chair to have a look.
"Well, hey, better now than later I guess," said Jason, with a shrug of his shoulders.
After seeing the mob coming into view, Shrek motioned his son to come and find himself a good seat where he can see his father at work, and where he won't be discovered by the villagers. Like any normal father, Shrek did not want to risk losing Jason to the villagers who would take away the only thing that matters to him besides his beloved swamp. Now, Jason protested to his dad that it will never happen and refused to be taken away from his loving ogre father. No matter how many of them will attempt let alone gain some courage to do so. And as such, the moor teen hid inside the makeshift half-dead tree that lost its other half but still stood in the ground.
Once settling in, Jason grabbed a few slugs from inside his hiding place and begin chewing on them as the show is about to begin. The mob slowly came to view as they slowly approached the house without realizing that their target is right behind them. After removing a few blades of grass that were tall and saw the handmade house with the lights on.
"The thing is in there.", whispered the mob leader.
"Right, then let's go get it!.", whispered one of the mob members in front and about to charge in.
"I'm assuming he's new with the whole mob thing. His bold I'll give him that." Jason said, in a whisper before putting another crunchy slug in his mouth.
"Wait, hold on!.", the mob leader said, extending his arm to stop the man from going any further., "Do you know what that thing could do to you?."
Then one of the members of the mob who is amongst the most scared said, "Yeah, they grind your bones for its bread."
Jason shook his head at hearing this, "The wrong type of fairy tale creature dude."
Suddenly, they all heard a medium chuckle from behind and quickly turn to be fearfully shocked at seeing the ogre. Shrek looked down at the mob before switching his attentions to the dead tree where he could see his son's eyes peeping through the cutout holes he made to see. He winked at his son who grinned at what was about to happen next before focusing back on the still stunned mob.
"Well, actually that will be a giant.", Shrek told them before walking towards them as the mob quickly but slowly moved back, "Now, ogres, oh, they are much worse. They'll make their soup with your freshly peeled skin."
"No.", said one of the mob members, backing away with the others.
"It's true," said Jason, while still eating his bugs.
"They'll shave your liver and then squeeze the jelly from your eyes!.", Shrek used his hands and pretend to squeeze their eyeballs to scare them even more. "Actually, they quite good on toast.", he said smiling at them on the thought of eating some.
"That, and it's great on peanut butter and jelly sandwiches too. Mmmmm, I might have some for tomorrow's lunch." came Jason who licked his lips at the thought of his favorite snack.
With little encouragement left within one of the mob members, he swung his torch at Shrek as if to try to scare him back. "Back beast!. Back!. I warn ya!."
"Oh, come on dude, it might work for a dog but not an intelligent person or an ogre anyway," said Jason, with an eye roll of being unamused with the man's action.
In Shrek's response who is unfazed by the attempt, just smiled before taking a lick of his fingers and then burn the man's torch out with a big cheesy grin. The man and the others looked at his torch for a short second before dropping it and looked at Shrek with a nervous grin on his face. "R...Right.", that is all he could say. At that exact moment, Shrek let out a huge roar both scarring the whole mob and burning out their torches while Jason on the other hand, was laughing at the scared men as this is the most amusing thing of the day. Heck, the teen himself can perform an ogre roar like his father and scare people too if he wanted to, as his dad did teach him how to eat, cook, act, and even have the knowledge of an ogre. After finishing his signature roaring and quickly wipe the drool off his face, and smiled down at the still screaming mob who slowly begins to die it down before looking back at Shrek.
Shrek leaned forward and whispered to them, "This is the part where you run away."
With that being said, the mob flew right out of the swamp with their tails in between their legs. Jason jumped out of his hiding spot to go join his dad who is chuckling at a job well done. The teen crossed his arms and smirked at the sight of the mob running as fast as their legs can produce.
"Hahaha, and stay out!.", Shrek said, proudly and proud.
"And never come back too!." added Jason.
"Huh, what is this?.", Jason broke his attention to his dad when seeing him bend down to pick up what appeared to be a piece of paper.
Jason went to his dad's shoulder to have a look at the thing. He saw that it was a wanted poster with an elf or gnome in front as the two read what it said in big bold words., "WANTED. FAIRYTALE CREATURES."
"Oh, so that is why they came here." Jason looked up at his dad., "They were trying to get some money by making the failed attempt to both capture you and then turn you in for a few silver coins. Huh, well, at least they came to our home with a purpose."
Shrek looked at his son and then back at the paper., "Oh, please that is a waste of time and energy to do such a thing. Let alone the stupidest thing ever."
With that said, Shrek dropped the paper and then headed back inside the house with Jason close behind soon after picking the paper backup. For reasons for not having the thought of betraying his dad but, to remove the trash off the ground as he liked a clean none polluted swamp environment. He told his dad goodnight and headed off to bed as he wanted to be energized up for tomorrow to help set up posters around their property, and hope something exciting to happen and not another plane dried routine. Even though tomorrow is his and his dad's father and son anniversary. Like the next day, the young teen and his dad were out on the other side of the woods placing up the last few posters on the trees and was about to go head-on home for the day. Until suddenly a mysterious donkey had accidentally bumped into Shrek who turned around with an unhappy mood at being rudely bumped.
The frightened creature looked at Shrek for a few seconds before turning his attention to Jason, who looked surprised to see a donkey in the middle of the wild woods knowing that they can easily be killed by any wood creature. With this in mind, Jason came over to the donkey and bent down to his hight to begin petting him on the head. This made the donkey relaxed and calm as Jason smiled at his success of taming the animal, as he is known to every animal's favorite and most trusted human to be around with.
"Well, hi their little fella. Where did you come from?." Jason asked, before hearing some rumbling noise coming from the front.
The three looked up to see a group of armed knights running and eventually stopped at the sight of Shrek. The donkey quickly ran behind Jason, while Shrek pulled Jason behind him along with the donkey and faced the knights with his fists on his hips.
"Y...You there...Ogre!.", said the knight leader with a shake of fear.
"Aye?.", said Shrek, wondering what he wants.
Jason removed himself from his dad to see what the guy wanted and had a feeling it has something to do with the donkey. For what reason is the million money question. Jason and the donkey watched Shrek move closer to the knight when he begins telling him that he has to place him and the donkey under arrest by the order of his majesty who is unknown to both Shrek and Jason. Plus, the knight charged Shrek for kidnapping Jason, who found that outrageous. In response, Shrek leaned over and spoke clearly with no fear.
"Oh, and you in what army?."
Grinning, the knight took off like a weak coward right after turning around to find his so-called loyal knights who ran away as soon as Shrek spoke to them. Fatigued for the day, Shrek turned around to face Jason and said with a fatherly smile, "Let's head home Jason. The sun is about to go down and it's our special day today."
"Alright, Dad.", Jason followed his dad before looking back at the donkey who looked relieved., "You can run on home little donkey."
As the two-headed, their way back home to the swamp something happened at that moment. Something that both shocked the two and see why those knights were after him.
"C...Can I say something to you two?."
Shrek and Jason stopped walking. Looking at one another before looking back at the donkey who was not there behind them.
"Did we just heard someone talking?.", question Shrek.
A moment of silence entered the air before Jason said, "Huh, I guess that is just part of our imagination."
Assuming that is true, the two resumed back to walking and then to be stopped by none other than...the talking donkey?.
"Man, I just wanna say thanks to you guys for saving me back there. That, I love it when you made them run like little cowards," said Donkey.
"Oh, wow a talking donkey!. Can I keep him, dad?.", asked a now happy Jason, with his twinkling with hope.
Shrek looked at his son and then looked back at the donkey who grinned right back at him. Now, he could turn him down and tell off the talking donkey or consider the donkey as a gift to his son for their anniversary.
"As long as you feed, wash, and clean up his leavings, Jason," answered Shrek, feeling satisfied with happiness to see Jason already hugging his new pet with pure joy.
"I'm gonna call you Donkey. It fits you very well," said Jason, scratching his new friend behind the ear.
"Oh, how original. Something that I can easily remember without having difficulty. Thanks." said Donkey, licking his new friend who laughed in response.
"Son, don't let that animal lick you. You don't if it had its shots," said Shrek, before leading the walk back to the swamp and then hear a whole wave of endless talking from Donkey.
"Why do I feel like I just made the biggest mistake and the greatest regret in my life?.", thought the Ogre when seeing how well his son is enjoying the company of Donkey. Seeing the two talk as if they were long time friends that have not seen each other for years., "Things I do to be a great Dad. Oh, boy."
