This chapter was more fun to write than I imagined. I think Shinso and I are similar in some ways and I ended up liking this couple even more. Now I wonder if I shouldn't add more chapters... But anyway, let me know if you want.
[English isn't my first language, so please, be kind]
[Follow me on AO3 and Tumblr - it's the same username]
[MHA characters' belongs to Kōhei Horikoshi]
Chapter 2
Eraser's Favorite
If someone ever writes something about me, I would definitely be a bystander. Not the protagonist or the antagonist, because the main roles belonged to the chosen ones. So I was just an imposter in this world of heroes, or I think that's the way most people see me, especially my old schoolmates.
"What a cool quirk, Shinso", "you could rob a bank with that".
Great, I had heard a lot of this bullshit. But I didn't want any of that, I didn't want to be different or cool, just to be a hero, that's why I chose U.A. and stayed here even though I failed the two chances I had to enter the heroes course.
- I...need...this - I said as I tried to get rid of the cloths professor Aizawa had given me to train with.
When I picked them up it looked like strips of a common cloth, but the material was stronger than I thought and now I needed to learn how to use it without ending up hanged or wrapped up in it.
- Ok, that's enough - hearing Professor Aizawa's voice was a bad sign, especially when he came to help me get rid of the cloth that was now wrapped around my head and leg.
- This is… Harder than I thought - I said, staring at the grass and trying to catch my breath while I could, not sure if he could surprise me with a close range attack as part of training.. This time it hadn't hurt me badly, only my right wrist was hurt, as it escaped a sprain that would have happened if the professor hadn't reached me.
We were still at school, but away from the eyes of other students as this training was supposed to take place in secret. I never really thought that Shota Aizawa could care so much about those who didn't make it to the heroes' course, but maybe I was just projecting onto him things that people thought about me.
Or maybe I had so much resentment of those who managed to follow their dreams that I didn't even think about the possibility of getting help.
- You're distracted today.
I nodded in response. I couldn't deny it since it was true, and it was all because of that indecisive and extremely annoying guy.
- What, do you want to give up? - The professor asked; which made me lift my head at once.
- No! - I replied, almost in a scream - Never! I want this!
- Really?
He sat down on the grass beside me, he had already collected all the cloth, which was now curled neatly in his hands. Seeing it that way seemed to be so easy to control that thing.
- You know Shinso, I've heard you talk about how you want to be a hero, but sometimes a dream isn't enough.
- I know I'm not like the others, but I'm willing to do everything to become like them.
- Like them?
- Yes - I replied - I know I was not chosen by birth, so I will make people choose me as their hero by their own will.
Professor Aizawa smiled slightly. It was rare for him to smile as he was always yawning or complaining about how I was making the wrong moves when using the cloth. Now, in addition to being afraid of failing with myself to follow my dream, I feared failing with him, embarrassing him in front of others.
- You know I had to find other ways to act like a hero due to my quirk not being physically impressive, but know that even the strongest hero can fail, so people like us need to try even harder, because a failure in our work can mean the death and loss of people, of important lives.
- I know, professor - I replied, gently rubbing my wrist, which still ached, a slight discomfort compared to the bruises I had earlier in training.
- You can go to Recovery Girl if it hurts a lot, she already knows about you.
- Oh no, it's okay - I said - it's not so bad to feel pain sometimes, it reminds me why I'm doing this.
- Well, it's up to you - said the professor - we've already talked about your support device, it will be ready soon.
His eyes opened a little more as he had spotted a kitten that had been prowling the school grounds for a few days. We had seen him twice, but he always ran when we try to approach.
-This time I came prepared - Aizawa said - taking a bottle of milk and pouring the liquid on a plate he had brought in his backpack.
The kitten looked suspicious at first, until he smelled the milk, then came forward with bouncy steps. His fur was orange, with a few lighter streaks that gave the impression that he had the ability to shoot rays through his little glowing eyes.
- You can go now - said the professor - I'll make sure to get this kitten to a safe place.
- Yes, sir - I replied.
I think I understood now why Shota Aizawa sympathized with students who needed help.
We were just off the trail.
XXX
The dorm system wasn't bad, honestly I'd rather stay here than come home and have to pretend not to remember the places Shoto and I used to go before we came to the U.A.; if that guy thought a few dorayakis were enough to make me forget everything he was sorely mistaken. I just ate the candy because it would be a waste to throw it away, and it didn't even taste that good.
Maybe it was because I was thinking about him, so I ended up taking the long way to my dorm, which happened to pass right in front of the 1-A class building.
Holy shit, I was a ridiculous cliché.
- Shinso?
When I heard his voice I really wanted to run away.
- Midoriya - I took a step back as he came towards me holding three garbage bags - hello.
- Even studying at the same school it's rare to see you - he smiled, I didn't understand why he was always smiling.
I looked away, I didn't want to talk to Midoriya right now, part of what I was doing in my training was to prove to him that I could be a hero too, so he would have to wait a little longer to a rematch.
- Why are you taking the trash? - I asked.
- Oh, I'm trying to help the class - he replied.
That almost made me smile. How could someone like him possess so much power and be so gentle at the same time? Shoto was very different from him, the more powerful he got, the more he distanced himself from people, and at least that's how he acted with me.
"Do not ask about him", I thought, "be strong".
- Is Shoto over there? - I asked. Why did I have to be this way?
- In the building? I don't remember seeing him this afternoon, but if you want…
- It's okay - I replied - you can go take out the trash now.
Midoriya looked a little confused, even hesitant, but went on his way, giving me time and space to think. It was starting to get dark, I just wanted to go to my bed and forget about the last two days.
After what happened in the cooking class, which I attended just because a friend was unsure about going alone, his calls and texts stopped. It's okay that I would not call him back or answer any of his texts, but why did he stop? Why say you wanted to apologize when it wasn't true? He didn't even have the guts to say he liked me in public.
From the outside, the 1-A class building had all windows lit up. I could hear the noise of conversations coming from inside. They looked happy to be there and Shoto was used with that feeling, because he belonged there.
- It must be nice - I sighed as I held out my arms, my wrist hurt a lot less now - to belong to the chosen ones.
XXX
- I'm back - I said when I entered my building. Since we didn't have to do the same physical activities as those in the hero's course most of us spent our afternoons in study groups or in the library. Sometimes we played RPG games or watched movies together. I liked living here, with the non-special ones.
But that night everyone seemed quieter than usual.
- Did something happen? - I asked, as everyone looked at me with curious and apprehensive looks.
I put my hands in the pockets of the sweatshirt I was wearing. I started arriving late since training with Professor Aizawa had started, but I was very careful for them not to suspect anything. For all of them I went for a run every day, so I came back sweaty, which didn't explain the bruises.
- You have visit - Lita was the only one who spoke. Like me she wore a sweatshirt, but with pink colors.
She was the first one who always came to greet me when I went back to the dorm and the one who invited me to the cooking class the other day on the pretext that she didn't want to go alone. I suspected she liked me, but I choose to say nothing to not embarrass her.
- Visit?
- Yes - Lita glanced sideways at the others, who were eating in silence. She approached me and whispered: -There's a guy from the hero's course here, I said you were out for a run and it could take a while, so he said he would wait in your room.
- In my… My room?
Great. I rubbed the back of my neck.
- You don't need to tell me his name - I said to Lita - I think I know who it is.
My room was on the top floor, in the corner of the building, the perfect place to be alone and listen to loud music when I was angry. I didn't let a lot of people come here, maybe some of my friends when we had some important project, Lita tried to come in here sometimes, but I never let her pass through the door.
Anyway, I always valued my privacy, but Shoto Todoroki was now comfortably lying on my bed. Face up, feet touching the floor and head away from the pillow. Both arms open, forming a cross on top of my sheets.
That would have shocked me if I hadn't already caught him like this before the U.A., in times when he was fleeing his father's training and needed a safe place to cool off.
We didn't study together before the U.A., but we lived close to each other, even though his house occupied half the street and mine was an apartment in a normal building, with a normal and non-special family like his.
Special, but completely ruined.
- What are you doing here? - I asked.
Shoto looked at me, finally noticing my arrival. He sat up in bed slowly; rubbing his eyes, as if he'd dozed off or cried while waiting for me. I think the last option was the best.
- You look sweaty - Shoto said.
- I was running - I lied.
I took off the top of my sweatshirt and threw it in Shoto's face, I was wearing a white shirt underneath so there was no problem, and I was just tired of wearing the same outfit the entire day.
The lights in the room were off, so we were under the moonlight, which was unable to illuminate Todoroki's entire face. I could see the left part of his face, with the crimson hair and that scary scar around his eye. Scary I said because of the circumstances that caused it.
- You didn't do that before - Shoto said, still holding my sweatshirt.
- I do a lot of things you don't know - I replied.
I ignored his presence and lay down a little on the pillow. My bones ached from training and after being wrapped in cloth for so long my legs really needed a rest.
For a moment I wished Shoto would think I was tired and that it was better to go away. I opened one eye to see what he was doing. Shoto was still there, looking at me, waiting.
I sighed and sat down next to him, if I didn't hear what he had to say he wouldn't leave.
- I thought you'd be happy with me here.
- Yeah, I thought that one day too - I tried to stay calm, but every word I exchanged with him made me even more pissed off - until you dumped me to become a stupid hero!
I took a deep breath after saying that, almost relieved. My patience with him here had lasted less than a minute.
- I didn't want to have done that, or said those things, but that was in the past.
I tried to snatch my sweatshirt out of his hands, but Shoto wouldn't let go. I think the moonlight was really lighting up the furious expression on my face so Shoto could barely look me in the eye, I felt he wanted to apologize, but I wanted to know if it was all sincere or just another step on his journey to become a hero.
- It's very easy for people like you, isn't it? - I said - Apologize, even if not sincere, after messing with people's lives.
That actually seemed to hurt Shoto as he dropped my sweatshirt and turned his face away. For a moment I felt a little regretful.
Had his father ever apologized?
We were silent for a while, until it became uncomfortable. But I didn't want to be the first to give in now.
- I'm not like him - He said - And, well, maybe I won't even have a chance to be since I'm trying to apologize and...
A strange smile came over Shoto's face.
- I failed, Shinso, I failed the provisional hero license exam.
Silence. Very uncomfortable. Again.
- Oh - I said.
Shoto looked at me, as if "oh" was too simple.
- That's why you're so obsessed with apologizing to me.
- It's not that - Shoto tried to explain, his turquoise eye looking even prettier in the dark.
He stood up suddenly, and for a moment I actually thought he was leaving, then a bile of regret rose in my throat, but Shoto didn't leave me alone, he went to the table beside my bed and turned the lamp.
Shoto knelt in front of me, probably in another annoying attempt to apologize, but then he stopped shortly when he saw the bruises on my left arm.
- What is it? - He asked.
I looked again for the sweatshirt and the dress in a hurry. I had already forgotten that those bruises were there, in fact they were almost gone now.
- It was nothing - I said, but not in a convincing way to make him believe me.
- Who made this?
- Nobody, Shoto! - He tried to make me take off my sweatshirt, but I stopped him.
- If you don't tell me - Shoto glared at me, looking very annoyed, the same face he did at the Sports Festival when he still pretended not to have feelings. - I'll get the truth out of you.
- Fine - I sighed - it was because of professor Aizawa.
- Professor Aizawa did this to you?! - Shoto yelled, but I covered his mouth with my fingers.
I gestured, asking for silence, making sure no one was spying on us in the hallways.
- Let's go to the roof - I said - now.
I took my fingers out of Shoto's mouth, but he took my hand, still covered with his saliva. My wrist ache, still not fully recovered from the training.
- Are you Eraser's secret love child or something?
I stared at Shoto, in total disbelief.
- Sometimes I wonder why I like you - I replied.
I shook my head as I waited for him to get up, and then looked carefully down the hallway before we left the room.
- Let's take the fire escape.
- Fire escape? Do you have it here?
- Of course we do - I replied, with a sigh - we're not all like you from the hero's course, which can go flying around.
- Was that irony? - Shoto asked as he followed me.
I rolled my eyes, a better reaction than slapping him in the face.
- I was kidding - Shoto said - we have fire escapes too.
- Serious? - I pretended to be surprise - How impressive.
Our eyes locked for a second. Our mood still matched.
The roof was my special place, especially since I was able to be alone when I didn't want to be disturbed. It also was a good place to practice some of the things I learned with professor Aizawa when I didn't have time to go to the gym.
- There are chairs here - Shoto said.
- I put them on.
I watched as he swallowed, looking a little worried.
- Are you coming here with someone else?
- The other chair is for my feet.
- Oh - Shoto couldn't hide his smile. He wiped the chair a little with his hands before sitting down.
I looked up at the sky. Another reason to come here was to see the starry sky. As the U.A. it was surrounded by trees there weren't many city lights to cloud the view. I could see all the constellations from here, including Class 1-A's building.
- There is no constellation of heroes, you know? - Shoto said, I think he was trying to figure out what I was thinking.
- Depends on what you call a hero. But sometimes I come here and wonder what you're doing - I confessed.
He lifted the sleeves of the black coat he was wearing as if getting ready to hit someone.
- So – Shoto said - why are you hurt?
- I am training.
- Training?
- Yes - I replied - I'm going to try to get into the hero's course and Professor Aizawa is helping me.
- The hero's course? - Shoto smiled, but then stopped when he saw that I wasn't kidding - Really?
- Really - I continued - will you try to stop me this time?
Shoto clenched his fists, his gaze fixed on the ground with a worried expression. I think, that just like me, reliving the last discussion we had in his mind, before the U.A.
- You can't stop me anymore, Shoto - I said - I want this, you know.
- But there's still a chance you'll fail - He said, almost like a wish.
I sighed. I went back to looking at the stars, his mind still not changed.
- When I failed the last few times you weren't there to comfort me - I said - don't worry, nothing can be worse now.
I kept looking up, avoiding eye contact, and then Shoto moved his chair closer to mine.
- Why do you want that? - Shoto asked - Why do you try so hard?
Was he looking for an answer for himself?
- Because I want to protect the world - I replied, trying to hide the smile that came with that all-too-common response.
- It's my dream, so I don't understand how the son of the new number one hero can be so upset that he failed once in his life.
I tried not to sound too resentful, and I think I succeeded because Shoto put his face against my shoulder.
- I can stay here? - He asked.
- Yes - I replied. He always asked what he could do when he was with me, afraid it would make me uncomfortable.
- You're a dreamer, Shinso - Shoto sighed, I felt his breath on my neck - but i'm grateful that people like you exist.
I tried not to show any reaction, not even a smile. As much as Shoto was being nice to me today, I didn't want to regret it later.
But of course I couldn't stand being quiet for long. I was too tired of being a mere bystander in his story. Every time Shoto got hurt, I wanted to be there to protect him, I wanted to take care of him.
- I want to protect the world because you're in it, you idiot.
Shoto smiled, I tried to get his face away from my shoulder, but I couldn't.
- Still, even though I know of your dream, even though I'm grateful that you exist with me - Shoto said, and I knew he would hurt me after - I'd rather you give it up, for your protection.
- And what should I do while the wonderful Shoto Todoroki saves the world? - I asked, about to get annoyed again.
- I don't know - Shoto tried to defend himself, this time he turned his face away from me on purpose, but to better face me - maybe, stay at home with the kids.
- What kids, Shoto?
- Or maybe work with something else, anything less dangerous.
He tried to touch my face, but I pulled away. I pushed my hair back and tried to sound convincing this time:
- I won't give up, that's what I want. Will you be on my side or not?
He seemed to be in an internal struggle in his thoughts now. I didn't understand why he came here, why he suddenly decided to change, failing the provisional hero license exam couldn't be the only thing that was happening in his life right now. Shoto looked like someone who was in desperate need of affection. Even more than before.
- I don't want to be a bystander anymore - I said - not to be one of the chosen ones.
Shoto smiled slightly, I remember using that same argument in our last discussion.
- Maybe can you be the weird side character people fall in love with?
- No - I replied - please offend me in another way.
He tried to stifle a laugh, but was unsuccessful. I liked his laugh, it was rare to hear, but very nice, like a song with a good bass solo.
- You are Eraser's favorites - I said - all of you, and that's why you can't understand.
Shoto sighed, he stroked the back of my head, playing with my hair as if trying to convince me otherwise while I bravely endured his advances with arms crossed, but he eventually gave up on arguing, and I think it was the first time I beat him at anything.
And it felt good.
