23
Clary's POV
When I wake, Jace is sleeping comfortably next to me in the spare room at the Lightwood home. His breathing is slow and even, and his muscles are relaxed in his sleep. The moonlight lights up the room with a gentle haze, that illuminated the blondes sleeping face. I take a deep breath as my eyes rake over him, a feeling of regret and guilt washing over me. I don't dwell on it long, slipping out of the bed and my feet padding lightly down on the floor. I glance at Jace one more time, stifling a sigh, before slipping out the bedroom door, undetected.
Last night was great, amazing almost. I spent the evening surrounded by friends, and Jace, and I could almost pretend like their wasn't a ticking time bomb in the back of my mind. Almost. My dad's ultimatum has be weighting on me, and it finally got the best of me. Joining my father is the last thing I want to do, but now, with my new life, I have something that I need to protect that means more than myself. Valentine is unstable, and I worry what he would do to the people I care about to get me on his side.
I don't know if this decision is selfish or selfless, but I don't take too much time to overthink it as I trot quietly down the stairs, making my way towards the exit. I place my hand on the front door knob, taking a deep breath before I pull the door open. I sigh, twisting the handle, when I hear a throat clear from behind me, making me jump.
"You're terrible at pretending." Isabelle's clear voice cuts through the silence of the room. I turn around, eyes squeezed shut, "Isabelle-," I start, but she immediately cuts me off, "sit." I open my eyes, looking at my raven haired friends. Her eyes look tired, but her expression is hardened. I do what I'm told, my body moving before my brain can catch up. My feet trail to the living room and I drop down on the couch, a few feet away from where she is sitting.
"I don't know what's going on at home right now," Isabelle starts, "but I've gathered enough from listening to the chatter. I do know that you're planning on running, and that you're not planning on coming back." She looks at me pointedly, and a lump forms in my throat, eyes falling to my lap, "you don't understand." I tell her.
"No, Clary, I don't. Because you wont tell me. You'll tell Jace, you'll tell Simon, it seems like Alec even knows, but you won't tell me. I thought we were close Clary, best friends even, but it doesn't seem like you trust me at all." My eyes snap up to her, "Isabelle, no, that's not what is happening," I try to start again, but she raises her hand, calmly shutting me down.
"We all care about you Clary, especially me, and I refuse to let to just run. We've done too much for each other to deserve that." Her words cause a sob to make its way up my throat. Between the weight of the current situation, and Isabelle's words, I can't help it as the tears prick my eyes, "I'll tell you everything," my voice waivers with emotion, "it's going to sound crazy, but I need you to believe me." She nods at my words, putting her hand lightly on mine. With an encouraging squeeze, I open my mouth and the words come tumbling out. I tell her everything, about my dad, Seelie, Jonathan, my mom, the mob, and lastly, my dad's ultimatum. The threat of his words weighing on me, and making me fear for my friends and their safety.
By the time I have finished explaining everything to her, the sun has started to rise, and I have made my way next to her on the couch, my head resting on her shoulder. My throat feels raw, and my face puffy, "I don't know what to do Izzy."
"I don't either," she admits honestly, "but I promise you, running won't fix the problem. We can figure it out, together." Her voice is full of candor and hope, and I nod, wanting to believe her. I open my mouth to respond, but I begin to hear footsteps from upstairs, which causes me to stop short, "we can take a break from this for now, but I want to talk more about this later." I tell her quietly, picking my head up off her shoulder. She nods, throwing her arms around me in a tight hug, "I love you Clary, you're my best friend."
"I love you too Izzy." We hold each other for one more moment, before we pull apart, Isabelle's face now has moved into a wicked grin, "so, did you and Jace have like farewell sex, or anything." My eyes go wide and I jump to my feet, hands flying to my face, embarrassed, "Isabelle!" I squeal.
"Ladies, please." Magnus states, as he climbs down the stairs, "we are all way too hung over for screaming at 8am." Without another word, he moves into the kitchen and Isabelle and I look a each other, her giggling, me grinning, "look, why don't you try to get more sleep. I know I need to- I stayed up all night guarding the door in case you chose to make a run for it," Isabelle tells me with a smile, "I am sorry," I offer her but she waives me off, "but I agree, I'm going to try to get a few more hours." I stand up, without another word, and head off towards the stairs.
I reach the room where Jace is sleeping, and reach for the door handle. I don't have the chance to open it, as it swings open, a shirtless Jace standing in the doorway with a wild look in his eyes, "Jace! You alright?" I exclaim, out reaching a hand towards him. Without another word he pulls me tightly into a hug against him, taking a deep breath and relaxing against me.
"I woke up and you were gone, I thought something happened." He tells me into my hair. I fight the feeling of tears pricking in my eyes- had I have left; how would he have felt? I knew it would have hurt him, but I wasn't considering his feelings when I devised a plan to leave. I squeeze my eyes shut, trapping the teas and willing them away, "I'm sorry, I'm right here." I tell him. He gives me one final squeeze before taking a step back, giving me a once over.
"Last night felt too good to be true, when I woke up to find you gone, I was almost convinced I had dreamed it and you were still missing." His hand absentmindedly finds the hem of my shirt, holding it lightly between his two fingers, "come back to bed?"
In this moment, between the guilt, the exhaustion, headache, and the honey eyes staring at me, I don't think there is anything in the world that could make me say no, "of course." I murmur back to him. I take his hand in mind, and let him guide me back to the bedroom, where we find our way back to the sheets. We lay in silence for a moment, before Jace rolls so he is facing me, "Clary," his hand finds the side of my face, "I know you're hiding something. We don't have to talk about it now, but we need to eventually." My face heats red, and I open my mouth quickly, wanting to argue with him; lie, tell him that nothing is going on. I snap my jaw shut, unable to do it. Instead, I nod, licking my lips as the sudden feeling of drying plagues me, "okay," is all I can muster. He smiles softly, kissing me briefly on the lips, before rolling back over, his back to me.
;o;o;o;o;o;o;o;o;
;o;o;o;o;o;o;o;o;
When I wake, I find my arms wrapped around Jace's midsection, his back pressed firmly against my front. I stifle a laugh- of course he would be the little spoon, I don't know why he would ever pretend that he wasn't. I fight the urge to find my phone and text Magnus to come take a look, "don't say a fucking word about this." Jace mumbles into the pillow, causing me to let out a light laugh, "I guess we finally figured out who the little spoon is." I dip my nose into the back of his hair, "since I'm tougher then you." I finish. Before he responds, he turns his body around towards me, peeling my arms off of him. He scrambles us so I am pinned underneath him, "nobody is tougher than me." He replies, his hands finding my sides and squeezing, eliciting a squeal out of me.
We wrestle for a moment, flipping each other around. Jace is clearly taking it easy on me, but very much taking the cheap shots, like tickling. I squirm and laugh uncontrollably as Jace's fingers find my sides, tickling me mercilessly.
"Jace, stop!" I manage to gasp out between giggles, trying to wriggle free from his grasp. But he's relentless, his green eyes sparkling mischievously as he continues to tickle me.
"Say I'm the toughest," he teases, his lips curling into a playful smirk.
"Never!" I declare defiantly, though it's hard to maintain any sense of seriousness while being tickled so thoroughly. Jace finally relents, his laughter joining mine as he rolls off me, lying beside me on the bed. We catch our breath, the morning sunlight filtering through the curtains casting a warm glow in the room.
"You know I let you win," Jace says with mock seriousness, his hand reaching out to tuck a loose strand of hair behind my ear.
"Oh, please," I retort, nudging him playfully with my elbow. "You were just lucky this time." He chuckles, pulling me closer so that our foreheads touch. "You know, I wouldn't mind waking up like this every day," he murmurs softly, his fingers tracing gentle patterns on my arm. I smile, feeling a rush of warmth spread through me. "Me neither," I admit, my heart swelling. We lie there in comfortable silence for a while, simply enjoying each other's presence. The weight of the world feels lighter when we're together like this, as if we can face anything life throws at us.
The thought lingers heavily in the air between us, casting a shadow over the morning's warmth. I exhale slowly, my forehead still pressed against Jace's, the weight of my confession settling heavily on my shoulders.
"I almost left this morning," I finally admit, my voice barely above a whisper. Jace pulls back slightly, his hand tightening around my arm as if to anchor me to the present.
"What do you mean?" he asks, his concern etched deeply in his furrowed brow.
"I... my dad," I begin, my throat tightening with emotion. I grasp his wrist firmly, seeking comfort in the touch. "He threatened me. He demanded that I return to him. He warned me that if I didn't comply..." I trail off, unable to voice the rest. Tears well up in my eyes, betraying the fear and vulnerability I've been trying to hold at bay.
"I'm scared, Jace," I continue, my gaze dropping shamefully. "I don't know what to do. I can't let him hurt anyone because of me. There's something wrong with him—always has been—but now he's... he's crossed a line. I don't trust him, and I can't let my selfishness put anyone in danger."
As the words hang heavy in the air, Jace's expression softens with understanding. He gently pulls me closer, wrapping his arms around me in a reassuring embrace. "Hey," he murmurs, his voice steady and comforting. "You're not selfish." He starts, pausing for a moment, "I don't know how to fix this, but we will I promise. You aren't going anywhere, and he isn't going to put a hand on you. I swear." I don't have any response for him, all I can muster is a nod.
"We will figure it out, we always will."
