Chapter 3: Unanswered Prayers
A series of knocks rapped on her office door and Sophia popped up from her new desk to go and answer it. Though she already had a good idea as to who it was. As she pulled it open, Charlie Morningstar's lovely face was there to greet her with a smile and a wave. "Hey there! Is it okay that I'm a little early? I was reminding my Dad about his meeting with Sera so I was up already and I'm just so excited to get to talk to you some more!"
Sophia smiled and gave her head a little shake, "Oh that's perfectly alright. Here, let me grant you permission." She went through the same motions as she had last week to now add Charlie to her approved entry and then stepped back to welcome her in once she was done. "Please come in and sit anywhere you like."
Charlie looked around at the entire room, tapping her chin in thought before settling on one of the chairs across from the desk. Sophia walked around to the other side to grab her notepad and pen before taking the other seat next to Charlie. "I hope you don't mind me sitting here," she added, "I just feel like it's a little cozier instead of having the desk between us."
"I don't mind at all! How did your first morning in He-here go by the way? Emily escorted you both kinda late so I hope you didn't mind not having a say in the breakfast selection." Charlie tapped her finger tips together as she gave her a nervous smile.
Sophia waved off her concern, "It was lovely. I'm a very light breakfast person anyway so the crepe and coffee was delightful." She smiled at the lovely young woman and propped her notepad on her knee, "I hope things went well with your father? I have to imagine there's still quite a lot of tension with him and Heaven based on what I've seen."
"Yeah," Charlie let out a breath before settling into the chair back, "I know what my parents have told me about their Fall so I know he's not happy about working with them, but he's trying for me." She had a fond smile on her face and rested her hand against her chest.
"That's very brave of him," Sophia responded, "Are you two close?"
Charlie winced, "Nooot really? I mean, we're both trying to get to know each other better and I of course love him! I mean he's my Dad!" She grinned before deflating, "But until the last Extermination…he didn't really believe in my hotel and what I was trying to do here. We'd hardly even talked outside of him calling me when he needed something."
Sophia made a little note on her pad before giving Charlie a soft smile, "He seems to be all aboard now though." Charlie returned her smile and Sophia added, "How does that make you feel?"
"And that's when I first was like, this is wrong!" Vaggie exclaimed as she paced in front of the couch. "It was just a kid! I didn't even know Hell had kid Sinners! I thought they all went to Heaven cause kids are supposed to be pure souls. And they wanted me to just…slaughter this little guy in cold blood?!"
Ren made a few notes in their spiral notebook, but made a point to look up at Vaggie often as they went. It had only taken asking about her time as an Exorcist in the Angelic army for her to start unloading. They made sure to underline an earlier note to speak to Emily about mandatory therapy for the rest of the Exorcists in Heaven however after this latest addition of information. These poor Angels. What had Sera been thinking? Perhaps some people had been made available and Ren hadn't been in the know? It was certainly possible given the current project they were a part of.
Vaggie had begun pacing shortly into her story about the last Extermination she had participated in as an Exorcist almost 4 years ago, and it made Ren happy for the more open and spaced out furniture arrangement they'd had Lucifer adjust for them. The seating area was a horse shoe style layout of couches and plush chairs with side tables between them to leave the middle open. Plenty of space to move about or to set up closer connections depending on what people preferred.
"-and Lute attacks me for giving mercy to them. Saying I'm a traitor before ripping my wings off and taking my halo. Effectively banishing me here." Vaggie fell back onto the couch as she ran out of steam.
Ren looked up at her in surprise, "That's something that Angels can do? Simply take your halo to banish you?" That felt like rather important information to know about before taking a job position attempting to rehabilitate Sinners in Hell.
Vaggie shrugged, "I mean maybe? It could just be an Angel to Angel thing or cause she was my superior, but that's what happened for me." She turned her head to look over and must've read the concern on their face as he saw her eye widen in alarm. "Oh, uh, you should be fine though! I mean, Lucifer and I are Fallen so I don't think we can, ya know," She sat up and gestured at the halo above their head, "even touch your halo, let alone take it."
They both sat in a tense silence as the possibility of various scenarios ran through their minds. Ren took down notes to talk to Emily about it as this was potentially a serious concern, and they could see Vaggie was rubbing her arm awkwardly.
"Do you want me to try-"
Ren held their hand up to cut her off. "I truly mean this in the nicest possible way when I say I'd rather you didn't."
"Right," Vaggie said as she looked at them and then back away. "Too risky. I uhh, would do the same if I was you." Ren shot her an understanding smile when she flickered her gaze back at them and was relieved to see her relax when their eyes met.
"I've added it to my list to speak with Emily on," Ren stated and tapped their pencil on to the notebook, "So try not to let it trouble you any further as that's what I'm doing as well. I'll of course be sure to let you know what she says."
Vaggie nodded gratefully before tilting her head as she leaned forward, "So is that what you've been writing down over there? Information for Emily? I thought your little oath earlier meant things spoken about here are kept between us?" Her brow wrinkled in thought or suspicion, Ren wasn't quite sure, so they spoke up to reassure her.
"Much like how we're collecting general background info on sins committed by the Sinners that Sophia and I will share in a non-specific way, your story has given rise to concerns I wish to ask Emily about the Exorcist Army." They glanced down at their notes then, "The most pressing of which will be if they offered mental health services, but now this concern about halos and how they do or do not tie to one's Fall is something I will ask as well." Ren looked back up and placed a hand on their chest. "I intend to speak to her about these in a similar general inquiry fashion and not reveal that they came from our session. I would never do that without prior permission."
Vaggie squinted her eye in suspicion, "How would you do that without lying?"
Ren shrugged, "I would attribute it to curiosity mixed with observation. Emily helps run the Calming Homes afterall and understands the need for discretion in our position. She would know that we are not 'lying' as you put it, but merely protecting our patients. Lying would imply that we were withholding or obfuscating information on purpose to deceive her, when in this case it is more that we are protecting private patient information that she does not have permission to know."
"Oh," Vaggie replied. She sheepishly rubbed the back of her neck. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to imply…well any of that."
"It's quite alright," Ren smiled at her, "It's very common at the start, like we are now, for trust to be shaky and uncertain. I just hope that I can show you that I am someone who is trustworthy as we get to know one another." Ren shrugged then, "Supposing you decide to see me again of course. I promise you I would not take it personally if you decide that it is not for you."
"It's actually….kinda nice to have someone I can vent this stuff too," Vaggie admitted hesitantly. "Charlie has so much on her shoulders running the hotel, and I might not have even survived here in Hell if she hadn't found me later that day." She shrugged, "I feel guilty burdening her with stuff like this. I didn't even tell her I was an Angel in all the years we've been together. Adam did at the trial about 2 months ago."
Ren nodded solemnly, "I'm sure that was quite a shock for her."
"Yeah. I had been meaning to tell her…it just never seemed like a good time." Vaggie sighed before sitting up straight, "But we did talk about it after and worked through it."
Ren smiled, "I'm glad to hear it."
Lucifer Morningstar paced in the lobby of the Heaven Embassy thanks to Charlie's call this morning. He was early to meet with Sera, but it was either show up early or not show up at all with the way he was feeling. Their correspondence since agreeing to remodel this pretentious waste of space had been all of 2 missives with her stating her next availability and him agreeing to be here. As if he'd had much choice besides agreeing.
As if he ever had much of a choice when Heaven was involved.
Oh they gave the illusion of choice all the time. Made you feel like you had an active part in their little Divine Plan but you disagree with them? With their secret grand plan? No, no, no. Can't have that!
Which, come to think of it, really made it a minor miracle that he was even here, waiting to meet with Sera to remodel their little token gift of superiority they called an Embassy. What a fancy word for a building that they just relayed divine judgment down on him from. There was no staff here. No ambassador that actually negotiated anything between Heaven and Hell.
He paused in his pacing. There was negotiating last time with Charlie.
Charlie was…well she was everything. He loved her and her dream, and he wanted this crazy plan of hers to succeed so very badly that he was attempting to be nice to one of the very angels that had cast him out of Heaven in the first place. Lucifer pulled out a pair of rubber ducks from his pocket and smiled fondly at them. One was a little Charlie model he'd spent weeks perfecting and the other was a little Vaggie with teeny little angel wings he'd had to add after she grew them back. They were a 'sorry I've not been around much but I'm going a little insane having to really communicate and work with Heaven for the first time in so many millenia' apology.
The name admittedly needed a little workshopping…but the ducks! Now they were perfect! Charlie's even sprouted cute little horns when you squeezed it. Ooo, maybe he should adjust the Vaggie one so her little wings flapped. He gave the Charlie duck a little squeeze just so he could smile when the horns popped out. Lucifer gazed fondly at the toy ducks before he had them give each other a little smooch on their bills. So cute! The girls would surely love them.
A throat cleared behind him suddenly and he shouted in surprise as he accidentally tossed the rubber ducks in the air. "What th- isn't sneaking up on someone considered rude still?"
Sera raised one of her judgemental eyebrows at him before she bent down to pick up the small ducks at her feet. She looked at them and then at him before passing them over. He snatched them up and quickly put them away with a furrowed brow.
"I did try calling your name," she finally spoke, "but you seemed to be deep in thought. Startling you was not my intent, and I apologize if your…ducks…were harmed."
Lucifer sent a mild disproving look up at her stony face before adopting his own air of nonchalance. "So nice of you to finally join me."
Sera looked down her nose at him, "It is our agreed upon meeting time. If you have been waiting longer, then that was by your own choice."
He tapped his cane a little forcefully into the ground in front of him. "Ya know, speaking of choices, I've decided mine is to just knock this whole place down! Big old wrecking ball and boom! No more weird mounted angel bodies, or judgment stained glass windows, or ever present countdown clocks. How's that sound?" He finished with a wide grin and a wide flourish of his arms as he gestured to the back half of the lobby behind him.
Sera stared down at him as his words echoed through the massive empty space, but Lucifer just held his pose and her gaze. He wouldn't budge first. Not this time.
He was starting to wonder how long she would hold out though as the seconds seemed to tick by agonizingly slowly before she finally turned her head away. "If you did not want to take this seriously and work together then you should have said so weeks ago. I do not have time to play games."
"Who's playing games?!" He insisted. "Who actually wants to come in here and see this stuff?" He pointed directly at the exorcist heads this time. "You think any staff running this place will want to be surrounded by the reminders of all the hundreds of thousands of souls you had killed by staring at molds of that Heavenly Army?"
"I see no reason to ever staff this location with actual Heavenly beings," Sera stated. Side stepping his very good point. "Our current method of using holoprojections will work just fine."
Lucifer crossed his arms over his chest, "Uh huh. And do these holoprojections not have eyeballs to see the decor? Or will you just make the Heavenly side have something more sweet and welcoming so your staff will never know that they are operating in what is clearly meant to be an oppressive atmosphere. Just another little secret in your grand plan, and what they don't know won't hurt them."
Sera actually flinched and turned from him at his words. Lucifer blinked in surprise at her showing any hurt and tried to run back what he'd said in his mind. He'd kinda just been on a roll there with his emotions. Everything was simmering right at the surface all the time now since their last meeting.
Realizing he probably said something true but a little further than he'd meant to go, Lucifer sighed. "I know what this place was designed for. What message it was designed to send. I just thought…well, that we were here today to change that message."
Sera stayed quiet and Lucifer let her sit with it. Or stand. Whatever. He walked past her to the couches and flopped onto the one facing her that was closest. He knew this partnership was a bad idea. Looking up at her, she had her eyes closed and her head turned to the side. One hand was brought up to her chest in a clenched fist like she was in pain, but her face was still as serene and calm as ever. Always the performance of the injured party with them wasn't it.
He laid his head back on the top ridge of the couch and stared at the ceiling with a sigh. Why were the ceilings here so tall? In what plane of existence was a ceiling of this scale ever necessary? Was it intimidation tactics still? Oh wait. Could be for sound acoustics. That echo earlier had been pretty good now that he thought back on it. Maybe he could test it by throwing a rock at just the right spot-
"You're right."
Lucifer had to blink back out of his thoughts. "Wait, what?"
He lifted his head up to see Sera was still looking anywhere but at him, but she did seem to finally be looking around at the decor. Her head tilted in a wince when they landed on the wall mounted angel heads. "This decor…it does not suit the new direction we are trying to take the embassy in. You are correct in your suggestion that it should go." Lucifer was stunned. This was the second meeting where she had agreed with his ideas.
"Oh." he said. It felt like an underwhelming response to the weight of what her agreement meant in their long history, but he was still so shocked by it that he couldn't think of anything else to add.
"I do, however, disagree with knocking the building down." Sera finally turned her head to look at him. "The clocks and hourglass may go, but the building is in good repair and functional. It has a good foundation. There is no need to start from scratch." There was a look in her eyes now that he hadn't seen before, and it made him feel like he was missing something.
"It'd be easier though," he pointed out, "We just knock it all down and start with a clean slate."
Sera nodded her head, "Easier perhaps, but quite wasteful."
Lucifer gave a dismissive wave before looking casually at his nails, "I created an entire fourteen story hotel about a month ago with minimal assistance. So I've recovered enough to rebuild this place no problem. Nothing wasteful about it."
Sera closed her eyes and exhaled loudly through her nose as sat down on the couch opposite of Lucifer. Ah anger and judgment. These he knew well. She looked back at him with that insufferable calm again. "Perhaps we should start with what we both want out of this new Embassy before we go knocking anything down. Destroying this building to get rid of what it represented just leaves a very suspicious empty lot with nothing to replace it if we have no plan."
Lucifer frowned. He hated that she had a point. They wanted change but not too much change. This project was suddenly looking like it would take much longer than he thought it would. "Can I at least get rid of the mounted angel bodies-"
"Yes you may dispose of those immediately if it stops you constantly bringing them up." She interrupted him. Lucifer grinned happily and leaned to his side to wave his hands towards the decor behind Sera.
"Presto changeo!" he exclaimed and a cloud of red and gold sparkles completely blocked out the back side of the lobby before quickly dispersing. Sera turned in her seat to look behind her and froze for a moment before turning back to face him with her flat look of disapproval. The exterminator bodies were gone, but so was the former window. A beautiful stained glass image of his beloved daughter's new hotel now covered the entire back wall. He thought it looked great. Well, minus the eyesore of a radio tower. Eh, he'd remove it later.
"I did not say that you could change the stained glass window." Sera said and Lucifer's grin sharpened.
"Ah, but you didn't say that I couldn't either, and you cut me off before I could ask." He continued to grin at her and Sera's eye twitched in response. "Gotta watch your wording when you're in this realm."
Ren watched as the small woman dashed about their office. She would lift various pieces of decor and dart under furniture as if she was searching for something, but never said what. Instead just talking casually as she went about her business. "Alastor said you wanted to know about my before life, but I don't really remember much of that any more. Well," she paused and tapped her chin in thought, "I didn't really remember much before dying either. Just a lot of pain." Niffty giggled to herself, "I like the pain though so it's okay." She turned her wide smile at them then and they met it with a calm accepting one of their own.
"I see," they replied, "do you remember anything at all from your life you feel comfortable with sharing? Anything that could be viewed as sinful or bad?"
Niffty paused from her perch on the bookshelf and hummed, "Well I murdered my husband. Is that worth sharing?" She looked at them curiously with her head tilted before scrambling down and coming to sit on the chair next to them. "You keep your room really clean for a man."
Ren smiled at her, "I'm not a man."
Niffty sighed and leaned deeper into the chair. "There's too many women in this hotel. Why can't we have just one bad boy?"
Ren gave her a fond look. Very familiar with a version of this conversation, "I'm also not a woman."
She squinted her eye at them. "So are you kinda both like Angel?"
"Do you mean androgynous?" Ren asked. Angel seemed to identify as male but didn't conventionally present that way at first glance so they could understand if that was the connection Niffty was making. Her mind appeared rather simple and straightforward in a way. Given her poodle skirt outfit dating her to a 1950s/1960s death date, they made a note of a possible lobotomy operation in life. Perhaps after sentencing for killing her husband on an insanity plea?
"I don't know that word. Does it mean both? Angel says he's a boy but he dresses both ways."
"It means you look like you could be either male or female," Ren said. "So in a way it does mean both, and is typically how I choose to present. But I also identify as neither male nor female. The current term is non binary."
Niffty had moved to lay on her stomach with her head in her hands and smiled at them, "You look like a pretty bird. Can I call you birdy?"
Ren chuckled, "I do have very avian features since I always admired them in life. I'm perfectly fine with you calling me 'Birdy' if you like."
She gasped and scrambled over to get up in his face, causing Ren to lean back at the sudden invasion of their personal space. "Do you eat bugs like a bird too? I can bring you any of the bugs I kill. Or maybe cook them up with Alastor for you? I'm sure he knows some great recipes." She grinned manically at the idea.
Counting on the protection Lucifer put in place, and remembering how Alastor had gently handled the lady last week, Ren lifted her by her armpits and slowly placed her down upon the ground. "While that is a very kind offer, Niffty, I am afraid I do not eat bugs like a bird."
She shrugged, unconcerned, "Oh well. More puppets for my show then."
"You put on puppet shows?" Ren asked. They wondered at what sort of expression her mind was attempting with them. "I would love to see one."
Niffty beamed at him with her hands on the side of her face, "I used to in the old hotel but I haven't found any new bugs yet." Her eye took on a sinister glint, "But don't worry. I will." She then went back to a more innocent look, "I'll let you know as soon as the next show is ready!"
Ren smiled fondly at her. What an odd but endearingly sweet woman. "That sounds delightful. Thank you."
"Knock, knock!"
Sophia looked up at the sound to see Lucifer standing at the entrance to her office and smiled at him. His return one looked a bit strained, but given what she now knew about his morning it didn't surprise her. "Please come in," she waved him over and gestured to the seats across from her desk, "And have a seat if you like. I'm not expecting anyone for a bit yet."
"Oh I just thought I see how everything is going," he said while moving over to stand by the chairs at her desk, "big first day after all!" He grinned before fiddling with his cane. "I, uh, was also hoping I might catch Charlie, but it looks like I've missed her?"
"Yes," Sophia nodded, "I believe she said she would be in her office for most of the day now. We had a wonderful conversation this morning. Charlie is just as sweet as any heavenly being I've ever met." She smiled earnestly at him and was pleased to see Lucifer return it with a soft one of his own.
"Yeah. You know I used to call her my little angel when she was just a kid. Cute as any cherub she was." His look was tinged bittersweet as he lost himself in the memory for a moment before he cleared his throat and shook out of it. "So I hope you don't mind me asking, but what does a therapist…do…exactly? Just…talk?"
Sophia leaned back in her chair with a brief shrug, "Mostly yes. We talk with our patients about their problems, feelings, concerns, and more. It depends on the patient's needs."
Lucifer squinted at her, "And that helps them become…better people?"
She hummed in thought as she tried to think of a good way to phrase this. "Sometimes people need help to see how their actions, or the actions of those around them, are hurting themselves and others. We can then give them the tools to show them how to work on those issues to become a better person so they won't hurt others, or themselves, in the future."
Sophia could tell by the look on his face that he still wasn't quite getting it so she tried for a different explanation. "Alright, so imagine you have a stain of some sort on your suit." She gestured at his clothing and he nodded, "You likely don't look down at your suit all too often and may never even notice the stain until it's been washed into the fabric by accident. A therapist is the friend that can see the stain as we are looking at it when we look at you, and we not only tell you about it, but we've been trained to help you get that stain out. No matter if it was something simple like ice cream, or more tricky like blood. If it's an old stain it might take a few rounds of cleaning to really scrub out, and maybe you'll always see a faint mark where it used to be, but it'll be better than walking around with a dirty outfit all the time. You'll also now know how to treat it right away so that, in the future, the stain won't get to set in."
Lucifer looked pensive and he absorbed her explanation. He turned a curious look back at her, "And that…works? On just…everyone?"
"Much like with any change, it depends on how much the person puts into listening, learning, and applying their new knowledge." Sophia smiled at him, "My door is always open for you if you ever wish to give it a try. See what all the fuss is about."
He laughed nervously, "Oh me? No, no, no. I'm fine! Talking is not gonna solve any of my past! Little beyond the scope of that human brain I'm sure! Ah heh heh…" He fiddled with his cane and looked about the room, "But I uh, appreciate the invite and I'll keep it in mind." He smiled and tipped his head at her before heading towards the door. "Glad to hear it's going well so far though! And thanks for letting me know about Charlie."
Sophia smiled softly back at him, "Of course. Glad I could help. Have a good day yourself, Lucifer." He waved over his shoulder as he left. She waited until he'd gone out the waiting room door before pulling her notepad over and jotting down a few notes to add to her file. She gave herself even odds that he'd be back at least once out of curiosity, but hopefully he'd surprise her. He truly tugged on her heart strings to want to help.
A/N: I split this chapter in 2 due to it reaching almost 12k words. So I decided to put up the first half this week, and the second half next week. I'm getting close to my 4 chapter buffer so hopefully I'll be able to do weekly updates soon. :) Also, I didn't realize some review settings had been toggled on/off in the years I've been inactive so apologies if any guests tried to leave reviews in the last few weeks. I only thought to check that section with this chapter's posting and have fixed it!
Just a reminder that I am not a therapist irl so please do not take how I have written those scenes as accurate, and see them as the story telling device I am using them as instead. I am an 'armchair therapist' at best, lol.
I don't plan on having many therapy scenes in this story but ngl, the idea of writing a companion fic of just those sessions does intrigue and frighten me. If that's something anyone would also be interested in please do let me know. I want the character development and changes to be more shown in actions rather than outright in 'therapy scenes' though. So unless I feel some are needed as I keep writing, they will not be in this fic outside of a few glimpses.
